Filling Empty Spaces
by heartlandiansoisle
Summary: Alternative Universe (AU) story. Mitch and Amy find an unexpected connection due to absent lovers. Set around SEASON 11. I didn't have a beta for this story, so hopefully there won't be too many grammar errors. A/N: This ISN'T a sweet love story about Ty and Amy, so if you expect it to be, the story might not be for you.
1. Chapter 1

As Amy was getting downstairs from the loft, holding Lyndy in her arms, she already knew she was going to be late for the pediatrician's appointment without even checking the time. Her daughter's leaking diaper had caused a delay to their plans as she had had to not only change her diaper but also her whole ensemble before leaving.

It seemed like now that she was a mother, time ran faster than before; no matter how quick she tried to be, there was always some kind of complication that put things on hold and made everything unnecessarily slow. As patient as she was, lately it had been too much for Amy as she had tried to navigate her life with Lyndy while Ty had been travelling for work.

"Okay, Lyndy, let's get you inside", Amy tried to soothe her fussing daughter who was probably sensing the urgency and her nervousness when Amy put her in her place in the truck. Not only was Amy worrying about being late, but she also knew Lyndy was not going to like the needles that the doctor was going to poke her with. "It's okay, it's okay..." she continued, but Lyndy didn't seem any calmer.

On the background, Amy heard Mitch parking his RAM in front of the barn and getting out. She slipped Lyndy her truck keys as it had a shiny horse keychain the baby liked to play with, hoping it would calm her. Thankfully, it did the trick.

"Hey, Amy", Mitch greeted when he slammed his truck door close. Amy looked over her shoulder, giving the man a friendly, but rushed smile.

"Hey, Mitch. Sorry, I'm running kind of late, I need to get to a pediatrician - no time to catch up", she said, hurry in her tone as she slammed shut the door and headed to her side of the door.

"It's okay", Mitch replied, waving his hand. "I get it. See you 'round."

Amy nodded and tried to open the driver's side of the door. "Yeah, bye!"

Much to her surprise, her door didn't open. Maybe she had gotten a bad grip and her fingers had slipped? Amy went for the handle again, but realized the doors were locked and no amount of jerking would open them. She sighed and started looking her keys from her pocket.

"Where are my keys...?" she said to herself, completely distracted as she was trying to remember where she had seen them last. Surely she had put them in her pocket before leaving. "Where are my keys!" Her voice was getting more desperate now, not only because of the schedule but more importantly because Lyndy was inside the truck, behind closed doors, and she had no access to her. "Oh, my god! Lyndy!"

Amy hurried on her daughter's side and looked her through the window, realizing then that she had handed the keys to Lyndy without giving it another thought. The baby was fine and was actually looking happier now as she was playing with the keychain.

"No, no no-no no..." Amy pleaded and felt like crying as she framed the window with her hands.

"What is it?" Mitch said, walking closer. He could see something was wrong, but couldn't make out what it was from Amy's pantomime and random strings of words.

"M-my keys... Lyndy has them", Amy explained, pressing her palm against her forehead as she felt like breaking down. "And the doors are locked."

"Do you have spare keys?" Mitch checked.

"Well, yeah, but Ty has them and he's out of town", Amy explained quickly, realizing they should have just had them around the house.

"Okay, so... we just need to get Lyndy to press the button", Mitch figured, knowing it was a stretch but their only option unless they wanted to do damage to the truck. "She must've gotten them locked in the first place."

"Is she going to suffocate?" Amy panicked, remembering all these things they said about keeping pets inside trucks for too long.

"No, she'll be fine", Mitch assured her, doubting Lyndy would be there for too long. "Do you have one of those lammies she likes?" he checked. He had gotten familiar with them while helping Peter babysit Lyndy earlier this year. The girl had been crying non-stop until they had been able to find her favorite toy.

Amy pulled one out of her pocket - she always carried it around in case of emergencies. "Here", Amy said, handing it to Mitch.

The man accepted it and pulled out his own truck keys. He started playing with Lammy, trying to catch Lyndy's attention. "Look at this! It's Lammy!"

The girl looked at him, smiling as soon as she recognized her friend. She reached her hand toward the toy, wanting to grab Lammy, but of course it was out of her reach.

That's where Mitch's keys came in.

He brought them in front of Lammy, making it seem like the little sheep was pressing the buttons. While doing this, Mitch was hoping the baby would mimic her toy friend's behavior as that was often how babies learned to do things.

Amy was observing at the situation, still worried sick and unable to handle anything right now. It felt like one of those straws that broke the camel's back.

"Press it!" Mitch tried to coax Lyndy with a playful tone. After a while, the girl was staring at the keys in her lap with a pondering look on her face. Mitch repeated the motion, so Lyndy would realize what to do. After a while, the baby squeezed the keys and unlocked the doors.

"Thank god!" Amy said, opening the door as soon as she heard the clicking sound. Mitch stepped aside, letting Amy take over. She gently removed the keys from her daughter's hand and while it made her cry, Mitch hurried to give her the sheep toy. "I should have just given her that in the first place, I don't know what I was thinking..." Amy sighed.

"I'm sure your mind was just preoccupied - it happens", Mitch figured, not knowing much about being a parent, but realizing it was hard work. "Don't be too hard on yourself, nothing bad happened."

"Yeah, I guess", Amy said while making sure Lyndy was okay. When the girl seemed like she was happier to get Lammy instead of the shiny keychain, Amy stepped back and looked at Mitch. "Thank you. You have no idea how much you have just helped me..."

They didn't generally interact much, but Mitch had been helpful around the ranch now that he was working with Jack again and sometimes even offered looking after Lyndy for a while, and Amy felt like she owed him a lot. It wasn't easy to adjust living with a baby while trying to work and coach Georgie at the same time, so any help she could get was appreciated and it seemed like Mitch didn't mind helping out.

"It was really not a problem", Mitch downplayed it. He noticed Amy's distraction from her eyes and wondered if she was in any condition to drive. "Hey, how about I drop you guys off to the hospital? I need to make a little run to the town, anyway", he added before Amy could refuse.

"Oh, it's okay. Lyndy's seat is already set up, and like I said, I'm running late-"

"Well, I could just drive your truck. Give you some time to catch your breath", Mitch continued, realizing the whole incident had probably shaken Amy a little bit.

Amy sighed, then letting her shoulders drop. "You know what, why not. Maybe I should calm down before going in, anyway."

Mitch opened his palm, and Amy realized it was a cue for her to give him the keys. "Alright, let's go", the man said, both of them getting inside the truck.


	2. Chapter 2

Mitch was parked close to the hospital door as he waited for Amy to return with Lyndy. He had gotten few things for the ranch from Maggie's as Amy didn't mind him using the truck for that as it was all for Heartland, anyway. Visiting Maggie's made Mitch think Lou - even when he didn't want to.

The woman was once again in New York - that he knew - and even though Mitch had tried his best to get over Lou, he was still longing for her. He wasn't even sure why, because it was obvious things were not going to work out as long as Lou was going back and forth between Hudson and New York, and Mitch didn't want a long distance relationship, no matter how in love he was with Lou. He wanted someone to come home to, someone to hold at nights and share the days with whenever possible.

Maybe it was really the thought of home and relationship that he longed for and somehow he projected that onto Lou because when they had met, she had felt like one of those people who would turn houses into homes by their presence.

As of now, the ball was in Lou's court, and she had not played it ever since Mitch had placed it there last summer. Maybe it was time to give up; it seemed like it wasn't going to happen.

"Hey", Mitch heard Amy's voice when she opened the back door of the truck all of a sudden. He had been so lost in thought that he had not realized Amy had walked out of the hospital already and was ready to go home.

"Oh, hey. How did it go with the pediatrician?" Mitch asked, looking over his shoulder as Amy was getting Lyndy hooked up to the base.

"It was fine. Lyndy cried a little, but that was expected. Who likes to visit a doctor, anyway", Amy said, then closing the door and walking to the passenger seat. "Ugh, I just hate hospitals..." She shuddered as she opened the door and got inside the truck.

"Is that why you chose a home birth?" Mitch asked out of curiosity, getting the truck running when Amy was buckling her seat belt. Lou had told him that Amy's birth at home was the reason why he and Peter had ran from Caleb and Cassandra's wedding, and later Mitch had found it to be true.

"Probably, now that I think about it. I don't know, it wasn't purely based on that, but now that you said it, maybe it played a part", Amy admitted. "And I guess nothing good has ever happened in hospitals. Me waking up after my mom's death, several accidents I've had, not to mention Ty's coma and now-" Her voice broke a little.

Mitch looked at her with concern, wondering what was going on.

"Are you okay...?" he asked, steering the truck away from the parking lot slowly.

"Yeah, I'm fine", Amy replied, sniffling a little. "I just... I guess it's my dad's situation. I know he said we can be cautiously optimistic, but I can't help but have this odd feeling in my stomach whenever I think about it."

Mitch nodded, understanding completely. It couldn't be easy to face something unknown, especially after already losing one parent. Lou had talked about it every now and then, but Mitch wasn't sure how exactly she was feeling about Tim as they had hardly talked with one another lately.

"No wonder."

"I haven't really given myself permission to think about it", Amy continued and Mitch listened. "Not only because I just don't want to think about the possibility of losing him, but also because I need to be strong for Lyndy. I can't just break down."

"Well, what about Ty? Have you talked to him about it?" Mitch asked.

"A little, but... it feels like I kind of have to put things on hold because he's away", Amy explained. "We keep in touch when he's travelling, but it's not the same as having him here, holding me and telling me it's going to be okay. - Besides, I don't want to worry him."

"What do you mean by worrying him?" Mitch checked. He had hard time believing Tim and Ty were particularly close, because Tim himself made it hard for anyone to be close to him.

"Ty needs to focus on his work. It's important to him."

"Maybe so, but shouldn't he be aware what his wife is going through, too?" Mitch wondered, frowning. He then realized maybe he was crossing some kind of line. "Sorry, I don't mean to meddle, but I would assume that Ty would care more about how you're doing rather than his work." He wanted to believe Ty to be a good husband and great support for Amy.

"I guess..." Amy said silently, looking down.

When Mitch was glancing at her direction, he realized maybe things weren't as happily with the new parents as he had thought. As far as he knew, Amy kept busy these days while Ty was working or travelling. He had assumed they had somehow been able to work out what he and Lou hadn't - he had even been a little jealous about it - but maybe it had all been just an assumption, at least based on Amy's silence.

"Is everything okay with you guys...?" Mitch asked carefully, hoping that Amy would know that she didn't need to answer to him if she didn't want to. But Mitch wanted to offer an ear in case she needed that. Sometimes people got so busy they forgot to ask other people how they were doing.

"Yeah, we're okay", Amy said with a nod. "I just miss him a lot. And, I'll be fine. I mean, like my dad said, we can be cautiously optimistic, so no need to worry about it, right?" she continued, trying to smile a little but she wasn't really convincing.

Mitch could tell the whole thing with Tim was weighting on Amy despite her dad's own words of an encouragement. It wasn't weird reaction to have, especially considering Amy's background. Maybe there wasn't a need to worry, but she should have been able to let her feelings out whenever she wanted.

Mitch knew a thing or two about keeping things on hold, as that was the whole reason why things had not worked out with Lou. He didn't want to keep things on hold for Lou, he wanted to live his life and experience things without interruptions, so thinking about someone going through the same thing made him almost a little mad as he sympathized.

"How was your trip to Mongolia?" Mitch tried to change the subject a little. He didn't want to make Amy upset, so maybe talking about the trip would get her spirits up. At least Amy and Ty had been able to do that together, so that could give Amy something nice to think about.

"It was... _interesting_ ", Amy phrased it, her expression not changing. Mitch felt out of the loop, so he was hoping to know what "interesting" meant. "I mean, not what I - or we - expected, but... at least we made it out alive."

"Made it out alive?" Mitch echoed, wondering if Amy was being dramatic. She didn't seem like the type, though. "What does that mean?"

Amy sighed. Their reality with Ty sounded like a badly written movie these days and she couldn't believe that it was their lives now.

"Well, I don't know how much you know about this, but last year, when Ty went to Mongolia, he got few people angry. These poachers. So, when he got back this year, he got involved with them again-"

"Wait, I thought you went there to help a horse", Mitch said, wondering if he had had his facts wrong. That's what Jack had told him, anyway.

"Oh, we did, but... things didn't exactly go according to plan", Amy confirmed. "As I was saying, he kind of helped these villagers to fight the poachers and that's why the poachers kidnapped him."

Mitch eyes grew wider. " _Kidnapped_? Are-are you joking...?"

"Wish I was..." Amy sighed. "So, when my dad and I got there, we weren't able to find him anywhere, which is why we started looking for him with the help of this local man. And eventually we found him. Ty said that they almost shot him and this other guy he was with, but for some reason they figured they would just leave them in the desert to starve."

Mitch was speechless, so he just let Amy go on.

"And then just few weeks ago our loft was broken into. Turns out, it was one of the poachers, coming after Ty as he had something of his. So, this has all been... _interesting_ ", Amy phrased again.

"Holy crap", was all Mitch could say.

"Tell me about it", Amy agreed.

Mitch wasn't sure if he had actually made Amy feel worse by asking about Mongolia, but to his defense, he had not known about any of this, not even the breaking in. So to avoid from making Amy feel more uncomfortable, Mitch decided to turn on the radio and hope that the music would help Amy relax instead.


	3. Chapter 3

Mitch reversed the truck in front of the barn so that he would have easier time to unload everything he had gotten from Maggie's to inside. When he turned off the engine, Amy unbuckled her seat belt. She was thankful that Mitch had drove her to the hospital because it wasn't until now that she was feeling somewhat calmer about this morning.

"Are you busy?" she asked before stepping outside.

Mitch glanced at her, wondering why she was asking. "Well, I gotta get these inside", he said, pointing behind his back with his thumb. "But, what's up?"

"Oh, I just... because you helped me, I thought maybe you'd like to come and have a slice of cake", Amy explained. "Lyndy had her birthday yesterday, so we had cake and there's still some left. You'd be doing me a favor by helping me get rid of it", she added with a smile. She knew she could just stick it to the freezer, but now that she had found someone to eat it with, Amy wanted to seize the opportunity.

"Can't say no to a cake", Mitch figured, grinning. "I'll be there after I'm done unloading these", he suggested.

"Sounds good."

They both got outside and went on their ways.

Amy got up to the loft with Lyndy. Thankfully the girl had fallen asleep during the ride and showed no signs of distress about the visit to the pediatrician. That gave Amy time to breathe a little and one less thing to worry about - and after her almost-breakdown in the truck, she needed it.

* * *

Mitch got to the loft after he was done downstairs and had driven Ty and Amy's truck out of the way so that the entrance to the barn was cleared. He kept playing with the keys in his hand and looked around to the loft apartment around him. It wasn't often that he got to visit here, so he admired how the place looked.

"It's a nice place you have here", he commented when he saw Amy setting the table for a coffee.

Amy smiled proudly, looking around. She had been living here for almost two years now, but it still amazed her how it had all come together. "Yeah. You should have seen what it used to look like; Ty used to live here when he was a ranch hand, but it wasn't anything like this. He used to have problems with the heating and the leaking roof. But it's all fixed up now."

"Here are your keys." Mitch handed them back to Amy, as he got closer to her, but still looked at the loft, thinking about the break-in Amy had mentioned. "Couldn't help but notice that you don't have a door."

"Yeah... it's kind of been something we haven't quite figured out yet, which I know is ridiculous", Amy said. "We have talked about getting one- in fact we already have one, but it's still in the garage, waiting to be installed. Ty was supposed to put it up, I kind of insisted him to get one after the break-in, but he hasn't gotten around to it. He's been busy."

"Well, I could help you with that, if you want? Shouldn't be too difficult", Mitch figured as he was pretty familiar with handy work. Amy gestured him to take a seat on the table while she listened. "I would imagine it would give you some peace of mind, being here with Lyndy and all."

"Yeah", Amy said, getting the coffee pot. "I've been kind of shaken up about it", she admitted. "I mean, I was determined for the break-in not to scare me out of here, because it's my home and I didn't want to give that criminal that power, but... I can't say that it's been as easy as I thought. I know the police has the guy, but it's the feeling that lingers. Someone coming into your private space without an invitation and going through your stuff. I kind of feel... violated."

Mitch listened while Amy poured him a cup of coffee.

"I get that", Mitch said. "I know door's not going to fix it all, but it's a good place to start. Honestly, if you need help with that, I don't mind installing it."

"Thanks, Mitch", Amy said. "I might actually take up on your offer. Who knows when Ty will get around to it." Lately he had started all kinds of projects and not really finished any of them.

Mitch nodded, figuring Jack would probably be understanding about it, seeing it was his granddaughter that Mitch was helping. The cattle would wait an hour. "One less thing for Ty and you to worry about."

Amy then sat at the table as well and gently moved the cake toward Mitch. "Help yourself."

"Yes, please. The cake looks great. Did you make it?" Mitch asked as he started to slice himself a piece. It had a cute little cowboy boots on it and the name "Lyndy" written under them with a cursive.

Amy laughed, shaking her head.

"No way. I once tried to make Ty a birthday cake and let's just say that it was not only my first time making a cake, but also the last time. It was horrible", Amy explained, then nodding to the cake. "Lisa made this. I wasn't planning on making one for Lyndy's birthday just yet, with Ty travelling and all, but Lisa said that this cake was not only for Lyndy but for me as well. She said that a year ago, Lyndy might have come into our lives, but I also became a mother. She wanted me to celebrate that as well."

She smiled, thinking how sweet gesture it had been. The family - minus Ty and Lou - had come in last night and they had enjoyed the small celebration together. Even Lyndy had tried some of the cake.

"That's nice", Mitch said, smiling. "So, when are you going to celebrate Lyndy's birthday then, officially?" he asked, starting to see a pattern here.

Amy shrugged. "Oh, I don't know. We'll see." She had gotten serious again after a brief moment of happiness.

There was a pause in their conversation as Mitch moved the cake closer to Amy now and wondered how he would phrase something.

"Okay, I have to ask something", Mitch spoke as he took a spoon so he could try the cake. "And you don't have to answer, it's just been an observation I've made based on this morning."

"What is it?" Amy asked, taking a slice of her own, and glancing to Mitch's direction.

"What's changed between you and Ty?"

Amy frowned as she didn't really understood the question. "What do you mean, "changed"?"

"Well, just that, when I first met you guys and you helped me with Maverick", Mitch started explaining himself, "you talked about being the alpha, and Ty said that you were the alpha in your relationship. I don't know if he was joking, but... I kind of assumed that he wasn't. Now it seems like maybe things have shifted, he's the alpha and you're... kind of just accepting things. Him being away so much, things put on hold... Maybe it's just me, but you don't seem too happy about it. So, has something changed?"

Amy was stunned. She hadn't really stopped to think about it like that - especially that other people would observe them like this. Was this something everyone saw but was too afraid to ask about? Things had just kind of happened, one by one and she had figured it would be just be easier to just go with it to avoid fights and arguments.

"I don't know. I guess I just... I have Lyndy to think about now", Amy spoke. "Every decision affects her, and I need to be there for her. Ty has his job, things he needs to do, so... what can I do? I guess I just know already that if I don't agree with Ty, there will be a fight and it'll affect my mood and then it'll affect Lyndy, and... I'll be the bad guy, just like when-"

Mitch waited, but Amy didn't continue. She just stared at the cake, almost completely shut down. He wasn't sure if he had asked too much, but now it seemed like maybe Amy needed someone to listen to and talk things out because with Ty, she couldn't do that for some reason.

"Like when...?" Mitch asked.

"Like when... I went to Europe", Amy continued after taking a breath. "I went to Europe with this amazing team that was lead by this prince and when I came back, I had screwed things up for us and so Ty broke up with me. For months, we didn't talk and he didn't really explain to me what he wanted. I don't want that to happen again, I felt so... helpless. Like, I couldn't fix anything."

"So... how did you get back together then, if you didn't really communicate?" Mitch asked as he wasn't familiar with this part of Amy's life. It had happened before he had gotten into the picture.

"Because he wanted it. He said something about seeing something in me that still made this relationship worth salvaging", Amy told him, shrugging a little as she still had trouble putting pieces together. "It was kind of complicated, I kind of rather not talk about it." She looked like a dog that had done something bad and was now standing her tail between her legs.

"Okay, I get you don't want to talk about it to me, but what about him? Can you talk about it with him?" Mitch asked. He thought that to be important in a marriage himself.

"I don't want to", Amy said strictly.

"Why not?"

Amy sighed.

"Because I rather pretend that it didn't happen so maybe he'll forget about it and stop punishing me for it. Or no, he's not punishing me for it", she shook her head, stumbling on her words, "but it's this dark cloud hovering above our heads whenever being apart becomes a thing. So whenever he suggests he wants to go to Vancouver or Mongolia or wherever, I'm afraid that if I "act needy" and ask him to stay instead, it'll somehow come back to me and how I screwed up with my Europe trip."

Amy turned her face away because she could feel the tears streaming down her face. Mitch was shocked, but more than that he felt sorry. He had not meant to bring something like this out, but at the same time he couldn't help but wonder why it had not come out earlier; he had been living in Hudson for almost two years now after leaving active duty and this Europe thing must have happened before that. It was a long time to carry something like that within.

"I'm sorry, Amy, I didn't mean to pry", Mitch apologized. "You asked me in for a slice of cake and here I am, asking all these questions..."

Amy sniffed. "It's okay... I'm not... mad at you or anything. I just... feel so alone with these thoughts. Like I'm alone in this relationship."

Mitch nodded, knowing all about it again. He had felt like he had been the one building their future together for Lou, while she had been just a passenger that was not taking part of the decision making unless it involved something he had had to deal with, because either he was okay with the surprises she kept tossing on his way or there was no relationship.

Eventually Mitch had decided that being alone was better than being together apart.

"I know it might be difficult, but you should talk to Ty." Mitch worried about Amy, especially now that she was not only looking after herself but also an infant. "You can't just hold all this in, it's tearing you down - even I can tell that."

"I know, but... I'm scared..." Amy said with a deep, sad voice and bit her lip to hold back the crying gasps. "What if he'll leave me again? What if it's all my fault again...? I don't want to be the bad guy, I just want the guy who I fell in love with back. I want to have a life with him, but he's not here to have the life that I thought we would have together, that he promised we would have together..."

"Hey..." Mitch said. He knew he didn't know Amy that well, but he felt sorry for her, not only because he could relate but because Amy was a good person who didn't deserve this. He put his hand on her hand that laid on the table and squeezed it gently, trying to comfort her. "There's no shame in feeling like this. You should let it out, if you feel like it."

Amy looked back at him, smiling through her tears as he appreciated someone's presence right now. She usually tried to do her crying at nights, when Lyndy was asleep and the world allowed her to breathe a little without her needing to be there for other people, but now she realized that even if the crying helped a little, what helped more was having someone to talk to about it.

"I just feel like I can't talk to Grandpa about this because... he's too close, he knows both me and Ty too well and I don't know how he'd feel about this. Not to mention, he hates getting mixed up with this type of thing. And I can't talk to Lou, because she's always busy..." Amy confessed.

"I think the only person you should really talk about this is Ty", Mitch said.

"Yeah, I know", Amy admitted, sighing, "but it helps to get it out before that because it clears my mind before I talk to him. So, thanks for listening."

"Of course", Mitch said, trying to cheer Amy up with a smile. "Anytime."


	4. Chapter 4

_Thanks for all the encouraging feedback! :) Hope you continue to enjoy the story._

* * *

Few days later, Mitch walked inside the barn, wearing his tool belt. He had been able to squeeze in the installation of Ty and Amy's door as a part of this chores for the day. With the help and approval of Jack, they had already made some preparations for it earlier that day as the doorway didn't have a clear frame for a door - probably one of the reasons why the young couple upstairs had not had one already - but Mitch had figured he could do the rest alone and let the older man get back to his cattle.

Amy had given her approval for the frame as well when she had prepared the men some coffee to get them started on the day this morning. She had then left to pick up Ty from the airport with Lyndy as her husband was coming back from the conference that had been held in Vancouver.

Since the base had already been done, Mitch figured he would just continue with drawing a plumb line on the wall now.

The man felt better about doing this because Amy's sad face haunted him. While Mitch had no experience of a break-in himself, he had a shotgun in his trailer for scaring away unwanted guests and that way could see how having no door had left Amy feeling vulnerable; she had no way to keep herself or her baby safe. Mitch would have felt like a useless human being had he not offered her any help because he knew himself to be handy around the house and even somewhat longed that since his own way of living didn't offer him a chance to do any renovations.

When he was done drawing the line, he heard people talking upstairs. Realizing it was Ty and Amy, he was about to go and tell them he was going to put in the brackets now and installing them could make some noise, but as his ears started picking up the conversation the couple was having, he stopped and listened.

This wasn't a time for a visit, he figured.

"I thought you were doing just fine; that's what you've been telling me on the phone, at least. So, now you're saying you've not been okay? Why didn't you say anything before? Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this?" Ty asked apparently from Amy since Mitch heard her reply not soon after.

"Had it made any difference, since you've obviously promised to be at these conferences?" Amy explained. Ty tried to argue, but Amy continued. "And I know; you have obligations because you're a partner at the clinic, but what about us? Where are your obligations to me and Lyndy?"

"You have people here, helping you out. You said so yourself", Ty said. "How was I supposed to know it wasn't enough for you? I'm not a mind reader. You have to tell me what you want and not say the opposite and expect to know that you don't mean what you say, Amy!"

"And where would that take me? Here - us having this argument?" Amy got defensive. "I can't stop you from going, it's becoming obvious now... But that doesn't mean I have to be okay with it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ty sounded offended.

"Mongolia, B.C., Mongolia again-" Amy listed.

Ty scoffed. "It's my job, Amy! And we went to Mongolia together this time, you were excited to go-"

"Did we? You went ahead - and I know the whole passport thing was my fault - but you went missing, and I had to find you! Again! Losing you keeps happening time and time again, and I can't just take it. I keep watching you leave and fearing you won't come back-"

"But I'm here, I'm okay. You don't have to worry", Ty said. "That's all behind us."

Mitch kept backing down from the stairs and tip-toeing away. He felt guilty for hearing all of this, but at the same time he felt proud of Amy for standing up for herself.

The argument continued upstairs as he collected his tools.

"But that's the point; you're not here and it's not behind us, not as long as you keep leaving!" Amy spoke desperately. "I have to take care of everything myself, I have to put things on hold because we are supposed to deal with them together. I have to be able to take care of Lyndy, help Georgie with her training, deal with my clients, fear for my dad's well-being, help my family - all alone! When would I have time to deal with any of this? The near-death experiences? The break-in? Poachers coming after you? - You always said you didn't want to repeat the mistakes of your father, but I... I guess I expected it to be something else and not this."

"Wow..." Ty scoffed. There was a long silence. "Nice one."

"I'm sorry. Ty, I didn't mean that... I just..." Amy started apologizing right away with regret in her voice. Apparently it was something that she had not expected to say but knew would make Ty think twice about his behavior if she used that in an argument.

"You said what you said, obviously that's how you see me", Ty commented. "I need some air. Was hoping I could breathe better here at the country, but I might be feeling even worse than in the city."

After he had said it, Mitch heard steps getting closer to the doorway and the little creak as the baby gate opened. He quickly put the tools aside and tried to look as if he had been checking up on the horses and had not been eavesdropping as going out the barn wasn't an option anymore without it looking weird.

Ty noticed him, standing in front of Spartan's stall as he stroked the horse's muzzle. Mitch greeted him with a nod, but the atmosphere was so awkward that he wasn't sure if he would have been better off not doing anything. Ty said nothing but went out, clearly upset about the fight he had been having in the loft.

Mitch sighed, feeling sorry for the couple, but even worse when he started hearing Amy's sniffles upstairs. As much as he wanted to think talking would help, it wasn't always the case. Still, people had to try or otherwise there wasn't a chance of things changing.

Ty and Amy really needed that door, not only so that they were able to keep people away but also so that they could keep their private conversations private.


	5. Chapter 5

Few hours later, Ty drove back to Heartland. He had needed some time to think and had driven around, hoping getting away for a while would clear his head. The argument with Amy had gotten out of hand, and he didn't like how they had left things, but at the same time he knew they had needed this break to figure out how to talk to each other without it getting bad as the emotions were running high on both sides.

As he parked his truck, Ty noticed Amy working with Georgie in the pen. Lyndy's pram was next to the gate so Amy could keep an eye on the baby. Ty didn't want to interrupt them as he knew Georgie was getting ready for Fall Finale - and as an ex-Fall Finale coach he knew how important training was - but knew he had to talk to Amy, the sooner, the better.

Ty got out of his truck and started walking toward them. Georgie passed him by with Flame as he was checking on Lyndy. The teenager was focused on the jump, and Ty wanted to give her all the space she needed so she could successfully clear the jump without interruptions.

Meanwhile, Lyndy was sound asleep, tugged in, and completely unaware what was happening around her. Ty felt a sting on his chest as he thought about Amy's words about him being like his dad. He had to admit it was something he thought about a lot now that he was a father himself and had to be away from home, but he had not known Amy had had these thoughts about him as well.

The fever dream from last year still haunted Ty. He had talked about it with Jack and after Lily's visit earlier this year, had explained his feelings about his dad and his own new role to Amy as well so she would get a better idea what he was struggling with. But the honeymoon phase of parenting was over and it seemed like Amy no longer felt like protecting him from the criticism.

"Hey", Amy walked over to Ty when Georgie was cooling off with Phoenix. "Can we talk?"

"I was actually hoping that as well", Ty admitted. "Hope I didn't interrupt anything, I was just checking on Lyndy."

"No, we were about done here anyway." Amy turned her body half-way toward her niece and the horse she was riding with. "Okay, Georgie. That was good. I think we are done for today."

"Okay. Thanks for the help", Georgie said, slowing down as Amy pushed through the gate and shut it behind her. Ty took over the pram and they started walking slowly toward the barn.

"Makes you think about the old times, doesn't it?" Ty said, a smile tugging on the side of his mouth. "The Fall Finale. How I was coaching you, and you said my plan on the chalkboard looked like a pretzel."

He felt a little better being around Amy as he thought about how he had fallen for her and how the Fall Finale had been the first time they had really worked together to achieve something. When he glanced at Amy, Ty noticed there was something nostalgic in Amy's eyes as well, but the other issues troubled her too much for her to focus on the past right now.

"We should talk about what was said in the loft", Amy directed the conversation to what really mattered. "I'm sorry about what I said; I shouldn't have compared you to your dad, it was uncalled for. But let me explain why it slipped my mouth. I just… I guess I always thought you had these high morals about parenting because of your past, and now I'm kind of lost because I don't know what parenting means to you anymore. When I said you should relax about the whole thing when Lily was here, I meant stress a little less, not… just leave for days and leave me deal with whatever's going on with Lyndy."

"But I thought you were okay with me working outside the town", Ty replied, trying to keep his cool. "And I get that you're frustrated, but I had no idea how much. You never voiced these feelings when we were talking on the phone. You've got to let me in on things because otherwise I won't know how you're feeling."

"I am okay with you working, I'm proud of what you've accomplished", Amy corrected. "But it's getting so… frequent. Not only because I've had probably my hardest year ever, but also because you are missing so many milestones and it seems like you don't even care. It's not only Lyndy who misses you, I miss you too. I've been so lonely. I thought married life and parenting was supposed to be something we did together."

"But I do care", Ty corrected. "I just need to find a way to balance these things, it's not like it's easy for me either to be away from you two. But what else am I supposed to do. I'm a partner at the clinic, it's required of me."

"I do understand that. I guess I just don't see your struggle, so it makes me think there's none", Amy explained why she felt like this didn't matter as much to Ty as it did for her. "I feel guilty for asking you to stay, I feel guilty for being tired and needing you."

"If you don't see the struggle, it's because I'm trying to stay strong for all of us. I gotta do what I gotta do, so I have to toughen up", Ty wanted her to know. "I guess it's just been hard for me to understand your side of things sometimes, seeing how I like to be alone when things get rough, where as - I've learned - you like to have someone around. I guess I just gotta remind myself of that."

"Yeah, I guess we are different in that", Amy admitted, realizing it herself too. There was still something that bothered her about Ty's behavior that she wanted to understand. "But… do you really _have to_ do all these things? I know you have to work, but all these trips… They are… _a lot_."

"That's the thing; I also _want to_ do them, but I feel like that it's wrong of me to feel that way", Ty expressed, hoping Amy would understand that they were working in the same field, but just came from a different place. "I want to know I'm making a change in this world because I have the freedom to make it."

"I get that, I really do, but…" Amy sighed. It always came back to the same place but it seemed like there was no solution until Ty himself decided to have one. He needed to want to be around her and Lyndy more than he wanted to help the world - that was not something she could ask from him. In a way his cause was noble, but Amy still couldn't help but feel bad for getting the sour end of the deal. "Never mind. I feel like we're going in circles."

Ty looked at Amy and could see she wanted more from him that he could offer for her now. He knew this conversation would leave her unsatisfied, but hoped that she would hang on for a while till things would get better and he would be done with travelling for a while.

"Maybe we could celebrate Lyndy's birthday tonight?" he suggested, hoping that they could have at least some milestone they could share together. "I still have her gift that I need to give her."

"Yeah, why not." Amy tried to focus on that instead of feeling bad for having feelings. "And at least there's Thanksgiving coming up. Then we can be together as a family, everyone of us. You and Lou, too."

Ty inhaled deeply, feeling already that he was not going to make Amy happy with this, but it was still something he needed to tell her as she would soon find out anyway. "That's actually something I wanted to talk to you about…"

Amy unlocked Lyndy's seat from the pram so she could take her in. "Oh?"

"I… need to work on Thanksgiving", Ty confessed.

"Okay… Well, we can just have an early dinner or late dinner, depending what shift you have", Amy figured, trying to solve the problem and not get upset about it no matter how irritating it sounded.

Ty felt uneasy, feeling like Amy would not like what he would have to share her. "Well, the thing is… I need to go to the US. I need be away on Thanksgiving. That's the bad thing about them having Thanksgiving on a different date - it doesn't matter if we have a Thanksgiving here, the world goes on there."

Amy sighed and clenched her jaw. She could almost see red. "Are you serious right now?" She had been trying to be civil about this conversation, but she was slowly losing her patience. "How long have you known about this?"

"Few weeks", Ty confessed, avoiding eye contact.

"Few weeks!? And you're only now deciding to tell me about it?" Amy replied, almost loosing her voice as her breaths were getting more desperate now. "Ty, it's Lyndy's first Thanksgiving! It's a family holiday!"

"I know that - but I can't help the fact that they decided to have this conference on Canadian Thanksgiving!" Ty said back. "Scott can't go, neither can Cass… so, I'm going."

"You could have at least told me about it sooner, and not only when it's few days away!" Amy shot back. "Few years ago, you told me I'm always the one with the secrets and it's hard to trust me, but the truth is you're holding back far more from me than I ever do from you!"

Those words still hurt Amy as she had always thought to be very honest person and didn't like keeping things from people - in fact she hated when someone asked her not to tell anyone. Sure, the whole mess with Ahmed had been bad, but there had been more complicated things to deal with than just her keeping the kiss from Ty - but Amy felt like he could never understand that.

"I didn't want to tell you because I knew you would get upset, with all these recent trips to other cities and places and the stress of your dad's situation–"

"–and a poacher almost killing you and then breaking into our house", Amy continued the list for Ty because she knew he would leave them out as they didn't seem like a big deal for him as they did to her. "And whose fault is it that? Who has made me upset all those times and now by telling me they can't be here on Lyndy's first Thanksgiving? Huh?"

Ty sighed. This had not gone the way he had expected at all.

"You're unbelievable", Amy scoffed, taking Lyndy and storming off to the barn.


	6. Chapter 6

Amy was arranging her selection of herbs in the barn office when Caleb walked into the barn with his dog, Jasper.

She was lost in thought, thinking about the Thanksgiving bonfire from last night she could still smell in her cardigan. It had been a nice night despite Ty and Lou being absent - again. Amy had tried her best not to think about her husband and the arguments they kept having, because it was bringing her down as it seemed like Ty didn't want to commit staying home and she was done asking him to be more present.

As of now, Amy felt a little guilty for feeling like this, but she was glad Ty wasn't at home. Not because she didn't still want the things she wanted, but because she was tired of arguing with him every time he was at home and being let down. It was obvious she was not getting through to him, and in his mind he was only protecting her by keeping things from her, where as in reality the secrecy only made her feel worse.

"Knock knock", Caleb said as he looked around the barn. He didn't want to just barge in even though the side door was open. The dog stayed close and kept snooping to find out what had changed since he had eaten a box of chocolates in the loft and had to be driven to the vet clinic.

"In here", Amy hollered back from the office when she heard Caleb.

Caleb walked toward the barn office and noticed the newly installed door. "Oh, hey, you guys have a door now!" He admired it. "Looks good. Ty didn't say anything about this."

"Oh, yeah, that", Amy said, nodding as if to confirm Caleb's observation. "Mitch installed it few days ago."

She had had the door for few days now and it had made all the difference. As much as she liked listening to the horses downstairs, the door was a life safer - literally. Now she could have conversations upstairs without fearing someone could hear her and having the door stopped unwanted guests that could enter the loft without her consent.

"Mitch, huh?" Caleb checked, wondering why was he helping with the door when he was supposed to be busy starting out his business with Jack and Tim. Caleb knew all about the trio's budding "team work" because whenever he was with Tim at the rodeo grounds, the man couldn't shut up about Mitch's incompetence. Guess he was good for something, at least. "I heard about the break-in, so I thought I'd bring you some back up", he continued, glancing toward Jasper. "But now... it seems like you won't be needing him anymore."

Amy smiled and leaned in to give Jasper few scratches behind his ear. The dog wagged his tail and tried to lick Amy's hand.

"Well, I don't mind him visiting me", Amy said, cheered up by the visit. "Thanks for thinking of me, Caleb, but I think the door will do for now."

Caleb nodded. "Of course - I think we all want you and my little goddaughter to be safe. - Speaking of her; where is Lyndy?"

He looked around.

"She's sleeping upstairs. I would let you see her, but... we've just found a routine, and I don't want to disturb that", Amy explained. Caleb understood and nodded.

"How you've been?" he then asked.

Amy sighed and got up from petting Jasper, wondering what she could even say. It would probably do no good to lie to Caleb seeing he and Ty were best friends.

"I suppose you already know..." Amy said, going back to the office space, and continued her chore. Caleb followed him with Jasper. "Isn't that also why you are here?"

If Ty wasn't talking to Caleb, he was talking to Cassandra and Cassandra probably talked to Caleb. Amy didn't feel like talking to any of them at the moment, because they all seemed like an unit and she would only get cornered.

"I know half of it. I know Ty's side", Caleb admitted. "He's been feeling really bad about all of this. You guys fighting, him having to be gone..."

"Oh, has he now?" Amy scoffed a little. "It isn't like the ball isn't in his corner. I only have a problem with him being gone, he has a problem with me feeling bad about it. I can't change how I feel or how he is."

"But he's a vet, Amy. He's supposed to have these calls, sometimes even outside Alberta", Caleb tried to watch his friend's back. "You knew who you married."

"Did I?" Amy was hurt for Caleb expecting to know more about her feelings than she did. "I married a man I thought would be my partner, not only in marriage but also professionally. Instead, he took the partnership at the vet clinic without talking to me about it first and now he's always traveling, leaving me alone with our daughter. I've never had a say in this."

"Yeah, but what else did you expected him to do?" Caleb said. "He's a good vet. He deserves to be a partner."

"You're missing the point", Amy said, glancing over her shoulder as she took one of the markers so she could write descriptions on the small jars. It wasn't a surprise to her that Caleb only saw his friend's side and refused to acknowledge there was another point of view to it. "I agree with you, he's a good vet, the clinic's lucky to have him. The problem is he doesn't talk to me first about the decisions he makes. It seems like he never does, not before he has already made up his mind - it always makes me look like the bad guy if I'm not excited about his ideas. We are married, we are supposed to talk about things before they happen. I was stupid enough not to say anything about it back when he accepted the position - but I should have - because now he decides all these things without talking to me first about it. But I never expected it would lead to this. I wish I had just nipped it in the bud when I had the chance. Now he has all the power. - But... whatever. He's busy living his life, so what can I do", she continued bitterly.

The way Amy talked worried Caleb. "You two should really work things out before you start falling apart. Take it from someone who has been there."

"You mean you and Ashley? That was different", Amy said.

Caleb shook his head. "No. I'm talking about Lou."

Amy turned to look at Caleb.

"Lou...?" Amy checked. "I don't get it. What does Lou have anything to do with this?" She knew her sister had had problems with Peter, but for Caleb to think of them as an example - especially as someone who probably had no insight into that relationship - was odd.

"Well, you know, what happened with me and her", Caleb said, shrugging. "I admit, I was out of line, I shouldn't have just kissed her, no matter how bad things were with her and Peter-"

"Wait-wait, what?" Amy stopped him, completely shocked at what she was hearing. "You and Lou? My-sister-Lou?! You... kissed... her?"

"Yeah", Caleb confirmed, frowning a little at Amy's reaction. "She's told you about that, hasn't she? When she and Peter were going through a rough patch, she kind of leaned on me because Peter was away all the time and wanted different things. So, we got a little closer and I guess she felt like she could talk to me about things. We had a connection, and then... I kissed her. She didn't say anything about it, but I realized after it happened that I had not thought it through; I had just acted on my feelings which probably had nothing to do with Lou in the end."

Amy had to take a moment. "No... She's not told me any of this. I mean, I knew they had problems, but... I had no idea of... you know, what you just told me."

"Oh..." Caleb felt bad for telling Amy now, but at the same time he felt like it was in the past and in the end had not been a big deal. Besides, he was now happily married with Cassandra and it seemed like Lou was over it, too. "I just felt like maybe you'd like to hear it from the point of view of a ranch hand who sees a married woman trapped inside what she thinks of a miserable situation. Mitch could be dangerous if you keep thinking like this."

"Mitch...?" Amy was confused about the change of pace. "What does he have anything to do with this?"

"I'm just saying it starts out innocently; changing tires, installing a door... He could see an opportunity for something", Caleb said, figuring he had an understanding for men in this situation.

Amy was almost repulsed, but more than that shocked and hurt - again. What was Caleb implying about her?

"Just because you saw that with Lou, doesn't mean Mitch would do that", Amy got upset for Mitch's sake. He had been nothing but helpful with her and was actually one of the few men in her life that was not letting her down at the moment. Instead, Caleb was slowly getting on that black list. "Besides, he's involved with Lou, so..."

"Okay, okay", Caleb noticed Amy was getting upset so he raised his hands in front of himself as a gesture of surrender. "I'm just saying maybe it's better to fix things with Ty before anything bad happens, that's all."

"Thanks for your advice", Amy said sarcastically. She just wanted to stop this conversation with Caleb before she would get more annoyed. Today was supposed to be all about being content alone, but Caleb had just ruined it.

Thankfully the cowboy took the hint.

"I guess I'll be going. I'll see you around", he said, backing toward the doorway. "Come on, Jasper."

The dog followed him to his truck. When Amy heard the engine start, she pulled closer the office chair and sat on it.

Not only was she feeling angry about Caleb's assumptions, she had hard time trying to understand that Caleb and Lou had kissed and she had not known about it. His ex-boyfriend - as much as she tried not to think about Caleb like that anymore - and her sister, while she had been married, had shared romantic moments.

It felt like suddenly she didn't know who anyone around her was.


	7. Chapter 7

Amy rolled the fourth and the final tire from the garage next to her truck. She stretched her back after being bent over for so long and checked the time from her phone.

Tim should have already been here, but he was late.

Before, Amy wouldn't have thought too much about it, as her dad was involved in so many things - Maggie's, rodeo school, his business with Jack - that fifteen minutes didn't really make any difference if they had agreed on something because she could have always just assumed Tim was busy with something else and would come as soon as he could.

But now that he had the whole shadow thing hovering over his head, Amy worried every time he didn't show up on time or acted stranger than usual. All the buried feelings about losing Marion always came back and did few turns in her gut, making her feel sick, when she thought about what could happen with Tim.

When she heard a truck driving in, Amy looked around and felt a little better, thinking Tim was here and she didn't have to worry about him as much. But as she saw the truck and realized it was Mitch's, Amy felt sick again. The nerve-wrecking feeling returned, not only because of her worry over her dad but also because Caleb's words about Mitch and what "any guy would assume in a situation like this" still lingered.

Amy didn't want to think every guy was the same and would automatically took friendliness as a sign of something more, but no one let her forget she had been wrong before.

What if she was giving Mitch some kind of signs and she just didn't know? Everyone had warned her about Ahmed back in the day, but Amy had figured that as long as she wasn't interested in him, he would see it too and so it would not cause any problems.

Amy still felt like the infatuation had all been in Ahmed's head, but the way her family had basically shunned her after finding out about the paparazzi video, was something she couldn't shake. Apparently everyone else had seen something more that she hadn't, no matter how she herself felt about the whole situation; she still felt really violated.

Traumatized by the whole mess with Ahmed, Amy figured she would play it safe from now on with Mitch and keep pushing him away, just so the blame wouldn't somehow get back to her again.

"Hey", Mitch greeted her when he stepped out of the truck. As he started to walk toward her, Amy felt like running away, just to make it clear that she wasn't giving any signs. "I brought the mail."

"Oh, thanks", Amy said, kind of cursing inside that he was being so nice and she had to be so rude toward him.

Mitch handed her the newspaper and few envelopes as he looked around. "Changing tires?"

"Yeah", Amy said, fiddling the mail nervously. "Have to be careful now that the roads are getting icy."

"I could help you, if you want", Mitch offered. Caleb's words echoed inside Amy's head. She didn't want Mitch to be like Caleb had been, but how could she know, men had taken her friendliness the wrong way before.

 _Play it safe,_ Amy told herself inside her head.

"Oh, it's okay, my dad's actually coming to help me", Amy explained quickly, hoping to brush Mitch off from helping. She was relieved that she had a reason to shoot Mitch down and it didn't even require a lie.

"Okay, that's good then", Mitch replied. "How has he been, by the way? I can never tell if he's grumpy because he's being himself or because of the... you know." He gestured the air next to his head, wondering what the diagnosis even was. No one had really given it a name.

"I guess he's been okay... He doesn't really like to talk much about it", Amy shared, feeling like that too was just another unsure thing she just had to live with without her having any say about it.

"Yeah..." Mitch nodded. "I guess I get that, but... can't be easy for you guys - his family - either."

"No, it's not", Amy admitted, but realized she was once again being friendly with Mitch and this was exactly what she had told herself not to be. "Anyway... I should check on Lyndy." She took a hold of the baby monitor, almost like reminding Mitch that she had someone to worry about. The monitor had been quiet, but she didn't like Lyndy alone for long periods of time. "I guess my dad is late, but he comes when he comes." She also just wanted to get away from the situation as her heart was beating fast and she could feel the horrible feeling from few years ago circling her.

 _You're being too friendly, he's getting the wrong idea. He'll kiss you and it's all your fault,_ the words echoed in her head. Amy still didn't know what exactly she had done wrong with Ahmed, she had always reminded him about Ty and even wore her engagement ring throughout the European trip, but everyone else seemed to think that she had given him some reason to make a move on her and as long as she didn't know what they saw that she didn't, she would continue to feel petrified by the guilt.

"Okay, I'll see you around", Mitch said, getting back to his truck and moving it closer to the ranch house so he could take the rest of the mail to inside.

Amy put the monitor away and then pressed her hand against her heart, trying to calm herself down. She had thought to have buried all the guilt from the whole Europe mess behind, but all this insecurity with Ty, her worry over Tim and Caleb's stressing words made her feel it again.

Maybe it should have been dealt with back then and not just buried in hopes that it would never surface again, but she still felt like she had not been able to do that because Ty had not wanted to talk about it; he had just wanted to take his time to think about his feelings about her until he was ready to get married again.

Taking the mail with her, Amy started walking toward the barn. She tried to soothe herself by going through it as she walked. Bills, bills, bills... and a letter from a law firm addressed to "Tyler Borden".

 _A law firm? What did they want with Ty?_

Amy walked inside the loft and decided to check on Lyndy first. The girl was awake and she was standing in her cot and squeezing the bars tightly as she tried her best to keep herself standing.

After putting the mail away for a moment, Amy walked over to her and picked her up. "I swear, one of these days you are going to walk", she talked to the baby and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Then she returned to the table and picked up the letter for Ty, checking both sides, wondering what could be inside, but nothing gave it away.

Amy was curious because it was not often they were dealing with law firms and generally these types of letters were a cause for concern. When she couldn't get any clues from the envelope, Amy picked up her phone and texted Ty with a picture of the letter.

 _"This came in the mail. Can I open it?"_ she attached to the side of the picture.

When she was done sending the text, Amy walked to the fridge and looked for something to eat for her and for Lyndy. The girl was in a good mood and kept playing with her ponytail as she was taking things out from the fridge and placing them on the counter.

Amy had almost forgotten the whole text and the letter as she was so focused on Lyndy, but when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, she realized it was probably a text from Ty about it.

She swiped the phone open and read Ty's response.

 _"No. I'll open it when I get home."_

Usually, Amy would have just put the letter aside, but lately her trust toward Ty had been lost. Her husband got all these crazy ideas and found himself in dire situations with little or no remorse, and sometimes he kept them as a secret as long as possible or didn't bother even telling her about his decisions altogether unless they came up later.

What was in that letter? Would it be something that he would - once again - keep from her and something that would once again put her and Lyndy at risk?

Amy knew it was wrong for her to just go and open the envelope, but lately she had felt so unsafe due to Ty's decisions, that she didn't trust him to have the judgement of what was good for her and Lyndy. This was her chance to know about it before Ty could make the decision for her. If this was a business related, she should find out eventually anyway - in an ideal world, at least. If it was something more personal, she would find out eventually anyway, as married people shared these things - again, in an ideal world.

Amy put Lyndy on the floor, so she could crawl while she herself was going to open the letter. Who knew how shocked she would be depending on what was inside - maybe she would accidentally even drop Lyndy. Amy didn't even know if there was something major Ty was keeping from her, something she didn't even have a clue. Maybe this was about it and this was her only way to find out.

Taking the envelope in one hand, Amy went and got a letter opener. She slid the blade against the paper neatly and then took out the paper for her to read. She could feel her heart racing faster as her eyes began to pick up the words.

As she was starting to get an idea of why the letter had been sent to Ty, Amy knew this was something Ty wouldn't have probably shared with her this soon, had he had any say.


	8. Chapter 8

A day later, when Jack asked Amy along to show her something before she'd leave to Westfield to help Georgie, she had not realized they were going to go further than the yard.

As Lisa was looking after Lyndy, Amy and Jack drove to a remote location, while still remaining on Jack's land, which made Amy wonder why her Grandpa had wanted her to see this place. It wasn't like she didn't know it already as she often rode there, but Jack obviously had something in mind and wanted her opinion about it.

"Grandpa, what are we doing here?" Amy asked as they strode toward the side of a field from Jack's truck. The grass underneath them was dry and thick and it was almost hard for Amy to keep up with Jack who was so enthusiastic.

"Well, I know how much you love this place", Jack explained, walking on.

"I do..." Amy said, smiling. No matter how upset she was about yesterday, the view made her heart feel a little lighter. "That view... is incredible."

She let her eyes gaze at the mountains behind the woods and their snowy tops. No matter how many times she would see them, they never seized to amaze her.

Jack slowed his pace and eventually stood on top of the little hill, and Amy stopped beside him. For a while, they just admired the view, before the man broke the silence.

"Well... it's yours."

"Mine?" Amy asked, looking at her grandfather. She wasn't sure she was following. "What do you mean?"

"Yours. And Ty's. And the baby's", Jack replied, seeming happy to announce it. Amy looked around, wondering if it really meant what she think she meant. Amy wasn't sure how much her grandfather knew about the struggles she and Ty were facing at the moment - definitely not about the latest twist - so was this his way to motivate them to work things out or was he oblivious to the state of their marriage and something else was up. "I'm gifting this piece of land to you."

As soon as Jack said the words, Amy was thinking of the worst. She wasn't sure if it was because Tim's condition was on her mind and she was worried about losing everyone she cared about or was there something she had missed in Jack's condition. He was, after all, suffered a heart attack few years ago.

"Grandpa, are you okay?" Amy asked, her face full of concern.

Jack chuckled. "Never been better. Why?" Then it hit him as he saw Amy's face. "Oh... No." He shook his head and placed his hands on Amy's shoulders to calm her down. "No, no, no. I plan on sticking around for a long time yet", he informed her so she wouldn't think this was some kind of a will before he'd pass.

A relief washed over Amy. At least she had one less thing to worry about.

"No, it just seems to me that you're gonna outgrow that loft sooner than later, and well, I thought maybe you and Ty might wanna start thinking about building a place of your own", Jack explained after seeing the messy loft earlier this morning.

Amy was speechless. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate what Jack had just offered for them, but she wasn't sure if that was something in the cards for her and Ty anymore. After reading the letter, she knew all hell would break loose as soon as Ty would come home from the US. Not only because he would find out that she had opened the letter from the law firm without his permission, but also because of what the letter's contents would mean for them.

"Grandpa... I... I don't know what to say..."

"Say that you'll accept", Jack suggested cheerfully. He felt better knowing that the next generation would not only take care of his land, but also have a future together here.

"It's not that I wouldn't love this, because I do", Amy wanted to say before going any further. "I'm sure Lyndy would love it here, but... I just... Things between me and Ty have been really difficult lately..."

Jack listened, seeing the concern on Amy's face again. He knew they had had some problems, with the break-in and Ty's trip to Mongolia, but was there something more? "I'm sure it's nothing you couldn't work it out. You've always been able to do that."

Amy looked down, feeling a lump in her throat.

"Maybe that's it; maybe we're drawing some kind of end", she thought out loud. "Maybe we've handled our fair share of struggles and they just keep coming till something bad happens to us. There's no ending to them."

"Okay, you know I have to ask - what is going on?" Jack wanted to know, realizing this wasn't probably about something trivial. Amy was almost shaking and looked like she was about to break down. "Amy, talk to me, please."

"The thing is..." Amy breathed, "I can't. It's Ty I need to talk to, but I'm scared. I just don't see how we are going to save ourselves from this, Grandpa."

Jack embraced Amy, worried about her situation without even fully knowing what she was dealing with. Maybe that's why it scared him even more because he didn't know how he could help. As helpful as gifting off the land would come later for them, Jack wasn't sure what needed to be done before they would get there.

"When we got married, I thought everything would be okay", Amy spoke as she pressed against her grandfather's chest. The man wrapped his arms around her tighter. "That things would just magically work out because we were married. Like it was somehow easier, but... everything's just been so much harder."

"Being married helps with a lot of things, but that's not to say that it also wouldn't be a lot of work", Jack knew from experience. "But no matter how hard things get, you have to remember the reasons why you got married in the first place. Marriage is about the promise of being with the person, for better or for worse."

"What if it's all just worse...?" Amy sniffled.

"Hey, that can't be all", Jack said, leaning back a little so he could see Amy's face. She looked back, her face covered in tears. "You have a beautiful little girl together."

"It doesn't seem to matter to Ty", Amy finally let her thoughts and worries out. "I can't help but wonder if maybe Ty wasn't ready for all of this, maybe he regrets being a father and that's why he's away so much. But when I look at Lyndy, I just can't imagine feeling like being away from her... So... how can he do it if he really loves her?"

Jack knew that things weren't as black and white as Amy maybe thought.

"I know something about that", Jack admitted, "being away from your own family. And it's not easy. I wasn't much good at anything when I was younger, but I was someone at the rodeo world. It was the only thing I knew how to do, the only thing I knew would bring something for my family, so I chased it. I can't deny we didn't fight a lot about it with your grandmother and that she wasn't always so understanding of me, but... it didn't mean we didn't love each other. If anything, the fact that we got so mad about those things was because we loved each other so much. Maybe that's something to keep in mind while you think about these things. Just because Ty's away from home, doesn't mean he would want to be."

Amy wiped her face with both hands. "I don't know. Sometimes I feel like he does. And sometimes... I even feel better when he is... even though at the same time I'm scared he will come back in a body bag. Isn't that bad?"

"Maybe something to talk to Ty about?" Jack suggested, even though he wished it would be more like a demand because things couldn't go on like this with them.

"It's not like I haven't tried", Amy groaned. "But I can't change him. He needs to want to change things himself. Just don't know how that will happen..."


	9. Chapter 9

Caleb drove his truck in front of the Heartland barn and looked at his friend on the passenger seat. He knew that things had not ended well with Amy the last time he had been here so he was just happy to drop Ty off and be on his way.

Besides, Ty was probably tired from the travelling anyway and just wanted to spend time with his family alone.

"I'll see you around", he said to Ty who unbuckled his seat belt. "Unless you'll be doing some travelling again."

"No, I think this will be it for a while. Thanks for the ride, I appreciate it", Ty said, feeling somewhat nervous about what would expect him at home, but at the same time feeling excited to see Lyndy. "It's past Lyndy's bed time already, so I didn't want to ask Amy to come and pick me up."

"Does she know you're coming home?" Caleb asked. "Just so she won't think you're another poacher, trying to break in."

"Yeah, she knows", Ty said, looking up after stepping out, seeing a faint light coming through the balcony doors. "Anyway. Thanks - I owe you."

"Not a problem, man. See ya", Caleb said before Ty shut the door.

Ty took his bag from the back of the truck and started walking toward the barn. He was exhausted and dreamed about having a shower, before hopefully getting ready for bed. When he reached the staircase, he was startled by seeing the door. He knew they had talked about it with Amy, but didn't realize she had already been able to install it while he had been away. It seemed to have a lock, but as he reached for the knob, Ty found it was open - probably because Amy knew to expect him.

Climbing up the stairs, Ty listened if anyone was still awake or was the light on just so he could see where he was going. He opened the baby gate and looked around and saw Amy sitting on the coach, holding something in her lap. She stared straight ahead, looking stiff.

"Hey... Is Lyndy asleep?" Ty asked quietly so he'd know how loudly he could talk.

"I suppose so. She's in the house with Grandpa and Lisa", Amy told as she got up. She had a serious look on her face, one that concerned Ty. He couldn't help but wonder if something had happened. Maybe with Tim?

"Why is she in the house...?"

"Because we need to talk", Amy said, walking closer to Ty and aggressively pressing the letter from the law firm against Ty's chest. The man looked surprised and dropped his bag on top of the stairs to catch the papers. "What is this?"

Ty didn't know what it was, so he took a hold of the letter and skimmed it through. Then slowly, he was starting to puzzle things together. "You opened my letter?!" He quickly went from confused to angry.

"Yeah, I opened it", Amy confirmed as if it wasn't obvious already. "Wanted to see what secrets you're keeping from me; figured maybe I could get some answers. I'm glad I did, because I'm not sure if you would have told me about this otherwise. Why has Scott filed to dissolve your partnership at the clinic?"

Ty tried to act clueless, shrugging a little. "I-I don't know."

"So you're saying you didn't have any idea of this?" Amy asked, finding that hard to believe. She stared at Ty, trying to call his bluff just by staring at him intensely. "What is going on, Ty? For once in your life, tell me truth!"

Ty sighed, wondering what he could even say. "It's come up... He started talking about it before I went to B.C."

"That was months ago?! You didn't care to share this before?" Amy yelped.

"Because I didn't think he would actually go through with it!" Ty got defensive. Not only was he angry at Amy for opening the letter, but also at Scott for actually having the nerve to contact the law firm before they had even had a chance to settle things.

"The letter says he's dissolving the partnership due to a breach of contract. What does that mean?" Amy wanted to know. "What have you been doing - or not doing?" She knew what breach of contract meant generally, but had no idea what it meant in Ty's case.

"Look - I don't think this is any of your business, to be honest", Ty said, pride in his voice. He didn't like that Amy was sticking her nose where it didn't belong. "You shouldn't have opened the letter, it was private."

"If I wouldn't have opened the letter, you would have just fed me another lie and tried to cover up whatever's going on with you and Scott, something that apparently has been going on for months", Amy explained her reasons. "And I'm tired of keeping everything together here and not knowing what's going on. We are married, Ty, for God's sakes! You can't just do things and expect me to be okay with whatever's coming. I keep getting blindsided over and over again."

Ty sighed and bit his tongue. "Amy, this doesn't affect you-"

"It does! It does affect me. If you're going to be out of a job, I want to know. And it concerns me that Scott would go and do something like this, after everything you've been through. It just doesn't sound like Scott, so... I can't help but wonder what you've not told me", Amy said, pacing back and forth anxiously.

"It's just work, Amy. I'll handle it", Ty promised. "I'll talk to Scott. It's not a big deal. I can handle it."

"Scott's involved a law firm, I think he's being very serious about this", Amy pointed out. She had known Scott longer than Ty had and knew that this wasn't his style, especially with someone he considered not only a friend but a partner as well.

"I said I'll handle it!" Ty hissed as he was getting annoyed that Amy couldn't just drop it.

Amy swallowed down the lump in her throat, feeling like she couldn't be around Ty more than she already had, especially if he was going to behave like this. She took her jacket and pulled on her boots.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm sleeping in my old room. You can have the loft to yourself..."

"Come on, I just got home", Ty tried to grab Amy's arm as she passed him by. "I didn't expected to be ambushed like this as soon as I stepped inside. That was not fair."

"You want to talk about what's fair? Not anything you've done lately", Amy said, trying to jerk off her arm. "Let me go!"

"No, I want to talk!" Ty insisted.

"I don't want to talk to you! All I keep getting are more lies!" Amy said, jerking her arm again and leaning back to give it a better effect. What she didn't realize was that by stepping back, she stumbled on Ty's back and lost her balance, falling to the staircase.

As Ty realized that Amy would fall back, he tried to grab her but all he grasped was a handful of air. "Amy!"


	10. Chapter 10

_Sorry, I've been having a crazy busy week, no time to write. But here's a new chapter for you guys!_

* * *

Usually watching the horses gallop at the Heartland fields as she returned to Hudson made Lou feel good and like she was where she belonged, at home, but this time seeing them just made her feel sick to her gut - and it was because of Amy.

Even though Lou had her past with horses too, it was her little sister that really had taken over the horse side of ranching after their mother had passed away over ten years ago and Amy was who she thought about these days whenever she saw horses or someone talked about them.

Lou had not expected to come home this soon after her previous visit, but she was needed here now after what had happened with Amy. Lisa had tried her best to hold the family together with Jack and Tim, but she also had her own problems that needed to be taken care of or she would lose everything she had (not that Lou thought she wasn't going to be needed here even if Lisa had been able to dedicate all her time for the family).

Lou had somewhat heard what had happened, but there were still questions that needed answers for her to fully understand what had happened between Ty and Amy in the loft before her little sister had fallen down the stairs.

After she was done paying the taxi, Lou realized that this was the moment of truth and there was no more waiting now. Even though she wanted to know more, do more, Lou also didn't know how she would be able to deal with whatever was coming. The only thing she was happy about right now was that Katie was with Peter and it was one less thing for her to worry about.

"Lou", she heard Mitch's voice when the taxi drove away and left her standing with her luggage. Lou turned her head and looked around, noticing Mitch with a rake. The man had been cleaning up the yard, apparently.

"Hey", Lou greeted him, turning to face him better.

"It's good to see you", Mitch said and wanted to go in for a hug, but wasn't sure if it was something Lou wanted or needed right now. "I'm glad you could make it."

"Of course. I couldn't just stay in New York, no matter how crazy things were getting there", Lou said, glancing at the house. "I feel like things have been crazier here, which is why I need to be back home..."

"Yeah... It's been..." Mitch replied, trying to find a word, but failed. He shook his head. "The family needs you, that's for sure."

Lou nodded, even though she didn't really know how to go about this. She had faced her fair share of difficult situations and tragedies, but it had not made her an expert of any kind. "You've been here... You know what happened, right?"

"Well..." Mitch said, feeling uncomfortable. "I know some of it. But I'm no family, so obviously I don't know everything. You don't think-"

He hesitated.

Lou looked at him with curiosity. "What...?"

"I know this sounds outrageous, but hear me out", Mitch continued, wanting to make sure Lou didn't get a wrong impression. "You don't think Ty pushed her, do you...?"

"What? No", Lou said right away. "Why would you even think that?"

"It's not that I think Ty's a bad person, but I just know he's been going through a lot - as has Amy - and sometimes people develop PTSD or some form of it after traumatic events. I mean, Ty was almost shot and he was stalked - I feel like I don't even know half of the story - and I just can't help but think about my buddies from the army who had traumatic things happen to them and when they got home, they... weren't themselves anymore", Mitch spoke.

He knew this from a personal experience; if some of them didn't hurt other people, they could hurt themselves. Zach, his cousin, had been one of them and eventually his demons had chased him to commit suicide.

After explaining his reasoning, Lou could see better where Mitch was coming from. Still, she didn't want to think that was the case with Ty. She knew Ty and Amy had had difficult times lately, but it was just too much to think that it would affect Ty like that.

"No... I don't want to think that that's what's happened", Lou refused.

"PTSD doesn't ask permission, it comes uninvited", Mitch said as he noticed that Lou was probably thinking Ty was somehow immune to something like that. "But like I said; I don't know anything, I've just had a lot of time to think and I couldn't help but wonder."

"Grandpa said it was an accident", Lou continued, holding on to the denial as firmly as she could. "I feel like he would have told me if there was something else involved."

Mitch nodded. "Good. I really hope that is the case. Things are hard enough as they are. I just hope everyone involved begins to heal."

"Me too", Lou said. She felt a little bit better having Mitch as her first encounter, but at the same time she felt like she was lingering, avoiding the inevitable. "Anyway... I should get inside, see how everyone's doing. It was good to see you, Mitch."

"You too, Lou", Mitch said, taking a firmer hold of his rake. "I'll see you around."

Lou picked her luggage and nodded. "Yeah. See you."

She began to walk inside, feeling her heart race faster with every step. What would be waiting for her inside? What if what Mitch had said had some truth to it? Lou knew she didn't want to think of it, but at the same time so many unthinkable things have happened to her and her family in the past that she couldn't say that they were somehow safe from the harm.

"Hello?" Lou hollered when she got inside. She put her bags down and walked to the kitchen. Soon she noticed everyone was having dinner and were scattered around the table. "I' home", she announced awkwardly, looking at the table where Jack, Georgie, Tim, Ty, Lyndy and Amy were sat.

There was usually some form of chatter going around whenever the family was having dinner, but not this time. It was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop.

"Mom!" Georgie was the first one to react. She got up from the table and ran to hug her mother. Lou felt better as her daughter's arms wrapped around her. "I'm glad you're home."

"Me too... Me too", she said against Georgie's hair as they embraced. Not only had she been worried about Amy, but about Georgie too. The girl looked up to Amy and was very close to her, so this type of accident would probably leave her feeling scared as well. Lou wanted to be there to make sure Georgie had all the support she needed.

Even though she tried to focus on her daughter as they hugged, Lou's glance kept going toward Amy who had her back toward her. Amy had her hand in a cast and she moved stiffly, no doubt the reason why she couldn't just look over her shoulder as she normally would have. Ty was sat next to her with Lyndy, trying to feed her something, but despite the couple being close to each other, Lou could tell things were not good between them just by looking at Ty who avoided eye contact and looked like a beaten dog, fearing for any type of attention.

"What are we having for dinner?" Lou asked when Georgie loosened her arms and she realized everyone expected some type of reaction from her. Somehow focusing on Amy just didn't feel right at the moment. The time for that was later.

"Chicken and rice", Tim replied. Even he was quiet and somehow his mannerisms were toned down as well. That alone would have been enough to make Lou feel like she was living in some type of twilight zone, but everything else also felt... off.

"Grab yourself a plate and join us", Jack told her, trying to move things along.

"Will do", Lou replied, even though big part of her just wanted to call the taxi back and go to New York to pretend everything back home was just okay.


	11. Chapter 11

Lou opened the bed for Amy as she was getting ready to turn in that night. Ty had promised to look after Lyndy while Lou would focus on helping Amy with her daily chores as she was too sore to do most of them on her own.

"Kind of weird having you back in the house", Lou commented as she removed the blanket from Amy's old bed and made sure her pillows were fluffy. "But it's also kind of nice to have you close by."

"Well, it's not like I'm here because I want to have a fun sleepover", Amy responded with a sarcastic tone. Lou turned to look at her and couldn't help but notice that she looked grim. "It's easier this way, for many reasons."

Amy not only was too sore to come and go back and forth the stairs, but also didn't want to be around horses now that she physically couldn't do her usual chores because it would only make her feel more miserable to remember that she needed to take it easy for a while.

Not to mention, she didn't feel like being around Ty and the place where she had gotten hurt. She would miss Lyndy as Ty and the baby would reside at the loft, but it wasn't like she could do much with her daughter right now anyway.

All in all, it was a lot to get used to.

"Yeah, you're right. Sorry - I guess I really don't know what I'm supposed to say in a situation like this", Lou apologized, realizing how it wasn't really about a choice with Amy right now, "so I just say the first thing that comes to mind without really thinking about it."

"And what is the situation?" Amy asked. She had noticed Lou had been acting weird around her and it felt like she was too scared to address the elephant in the room. This seemed to be typical for their family, and Amy was starting to see where she had gotten the whole "talking is overrated" attitude toward life from.

"You being hurt... under these circumstances", Lou tried to explain, but it was obvious she was feeling uncomfortable. "And whatever's going on with Ty."

Amy sighed. Not only did Ty annoy her right now, but she didn't like that because things had went like this, people would get into their business without really understanding what they were dealing with in the first place. It always happened and it had already happened, because after they had come from the hospital, with Amy's hand in the cast and her sides bruised, Tim had yelled at Ty for being a useless father and a terrible husband for being away so much and making Amy upset and hurt. It was probably much due to Tim's guilt-trip that Ty had barely said a word after everything and had done his best to look after Lyndy and Amy.

Amy tried to sit on her bed, but the pain on her ribs made her grunt.

"Hey, easy, easy", Lou reminded. "You have to take it slow."

"I know... I know, Lou", Amy said, annoyed. "It's not like I haven't been feeling like this for days now." She wasn't even holding back with her annoyance right now, because she was in pain and she had very little patience about anything.

Amy's attitude was contagious even though Lou tried her best to remain as nice as she could. "Don't be mad at me, I'm just trying to help."

"I'm tired of everyone fussing about me! I just want to able to take care of myself", Amy said, her voice cracking a little. Even though that was sad to hear, at least it brought some humanity into Amy, Lou thought.

"I get it", Lou said, understanding that Amy wasn't very good with changing situations, "but you have to get better before anything has a chance of getting back to the way it was. So, take it slow."

"I don't know if time will make any difference..." Amy muttered.

"What do you mean?" Lou asked while reading the description for Amy's painkillers to know more about the dose she was supposed to take.

"With Ty. I don't think things will ever go back to the way they were", the younger sister admitted. "I just can't imagine ever being able to trust him again."

That made Lou curious. Even though she had tried to turn away the possibility of Ty being in any way involved with Amy's accident, her sister's choice of words made the fear creep up again. What if that really had been the case, maybe Ty had momentarily lost it, maybe he had not realized it had been Amy he had been hurting.

"What do you mean...? Why couldn't you trust him again?" Lou asked, sitting next to Amy and holding the bottle of pills. "Did something happen?"

Amy sighed, feeling the tears sting the corners of her eyes. She wasn't sure what was more painful; the physical or the emotional side of her current state.

"I just feel like I'm losing myself and I have no control over it", Amy said. "Ty and I had a big fight before I fell... I just lost it. It was like I was looking myself from outside my body and I didn't even recognize who I was in that moment. I don't know who this person is that I've become. Not anyone I'd like to be, at least."

"So... you fell?" Lou checked carefully. "Ty... wasn't there?"

"He was, but... he wasn't able to get a hold of me - at least that's what he says. I know I tripped, but I can't really remember anything else from the last minutes before the pain hit and things went dark", Amy explained as the tears began to fall. "We had a fight, and I didn't want to talk to him because I was so done with everything. It wasn't even so much about what we were fighting, but it was like everything had just been building up and I finally lost it and I just wanted to have some control over something that was happening to me."

Lou was relieved that at least it seemed like Ty had not meant to hurt Amy and in that sense things were cleared. As for the other stuff, she wasn't sure what could be done about it, especially because she too had once been in that situation and was now divorced because she had not known how to safe her marriage.

"What do you need? I'll help you with whatever you need to do", Lou promised.

"I think I need to talk to Scott before I can really talk to Ty", Amy shared.

She had tried to talk to Ty and then she had tried to confront him, but nothing had worked - things had only went from bad to worse - so maybe it was time to come at this from a different point of view so they wouldn't end up repeating themselves and making things even worse by just wallowing in the same circle.

Lou raised her brow. "Scott...? Cardinal? Why?"

"I can't tell you, it's confidential", Amy said. Even though she was angry at Ty and had opened the letter without his permission, she still didn't want to tell about the letter to anyone who didn't already know about it. "But I just need to talk to him. I don't know what else could I do to make sense of this because I can't trust anything Ty says at the moment. He's been keeping things from me for too long."

"Okay, well... why don't we go and see him tomorrow?" Lou suggested. Amy nodded sadly, but somehow it seemed to give her something to look forward to. "Why don't you take the meds so they'll kick in before you feel ready to sleep."

Amy took the pills, and Lou handed her the glass of water from her night table, wondering what Ty had been keeping from Amy that somehow involved Scott. She knew she shouldn't get involved - no matter how much she wanted - because it sounded like Amy had a plan and she wanted to respect that so there would be no chance of it blowing on her face because of Lou's curiosity.


	12. Chapter 12

Mitch was brushing his teeth in his trailer as the news from his small TV set played in the background. He took a break to listen what the newscaster was saying and shook his head when he heard about another mindless attack somewhere far away. These days, news like that kept coming and it seemed like there was no end in sight.

There were times when he felt like he could be doing more by being out there as he once had been, but at the same time Mitch knew he had his reasons to be here and that he had not been medically discharged from the military for nothing. There were more suitable men and women out there doing the job that needed to be done and he just had to trust that his place was here now, doing what he was doing.

Sure, him running a business with Jack and Tim might have not been as "meaningful" to many as serving the country, but after the initial shock of being back home, Mitch had come to understand that everyone played a part of their own by contributing to the world, even if that was something as simple as being a hired hand.

The world needed to go on even though horrible things happened; maybe that was one of the reasons why he had come in terms with being part of the rancher lifestyle because when he had come back home, something about the simplicity of the country life in Hudson had helped him to recover from the scenes that he had seen - not to mention what had been waiting for him, the news of his mother's stroke and Zach's death.

So, by being back home, trying to make things work for people, Mitch knew that he would offer a safe place to come back to for the people that were still out there, serving, and would eventually - and hopefully - return home to their loved ones.

After swishing the water in his mouth and then spitting it out, Mitch placed the toothbrush by the sink and wiped his face with a small towel. He heard the engine turn off outside and peeked through the curtains to see what was happening at the Dude Ranch. Maybe a guest had just gotten back to the cabins.

The lights in the truck turned off, and he heard someone come out, but after that he didn't see anyone getting inside the cabins which made him be cautious. The whole reason why he was here, keeping an eye on the place from his trailer, was that the guests, the horses and the cabins were safe.

When he heard a knock on his door, Mitch froze a little as he was not expecting anyone. The whole thing with Ty, Amy and the poacher had made him a little jumpy. But he soon realized that no criminal would just come and knock on his door, especially when they could see he had lights on.

Mitch then went for the door and opened it. Outside was Lou, rubbing her hands together as the night was chilly.

"Hey", the man said, almost with a questioning tone. "What are you doing here?"

"I just came to check up on the Dude Ranch now that I'm back home", Lou explained, but something about her words wasn't completely convincing. "Thought I'd make sure everything's been okay here, too."

It wasn't that Mitch didn't like seeing Lou behind his door, but he was cautious. When he and Jack had checked on Stumpy's cattle the other day and saved one of the calves, Mitch had not been able to get Lou out of his mind, especially because he and Jack and had talked about second chances. Still, Mitch had not really made up his mind yet with Lou. The woman had not shown any signs of wanting to commit to this relationship and before she did, Mitch wasn't going to go back to her no matter how much he graved it.

What was the saying again?

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. And at this point, they were out of the strike two already.

"Yeah, things have been okay here, the business has been running smoothly", Mitch explained, hoping to clear things up for Lou. "You don't have to worry about it."

"Okay, good", Lou seemed a little relieved, but it still felt like there was something more she wanted to say, but didn't know how to say it. "Can I come in? It's kind of cold here."

"Yeah, sure", Mitch said, moving from the doorway so Lou could step inside. When the woman was in the trailer, Mitch pulled the door close. "Is there something else on your mind?"

"I don't know", Lou admitted, touching her forehead out of frustration. "It's just been weird coming back. The atmosphere at Heartland is just... odd, to say the least. I don't feel good about being there."

"So you came here, hoping for a place to stay?" Mitch joked.

"No", Lou hummed, but smiled a little bit. "I need to get back soon, I promised to help Amy, but I just... needed a breather, or something. So... I thought of you."

"Okay..." Mitch said, unsure about what that meant.

"How's that business going with Grandpa and my dad?" she asked as she had heard about it earlier but had not had a chance to ask directly from Mitch. "Have to say, it kind of surprised me that you'd be willing to take my dad on board."

"Well, it's not like I had much of a choice; he was a partner with Jack first and when he was basically handing me his share, I figured it was too good to be true, but I didn't want to question it too much. Then when he changed his mind, I was kind of settled on having the business with Jack already and I didn't want to back down, so I just ran with it", Mitch said, "but... I guess it's not been as bad as I thought - weirdly enough." He made a surprised face.

"Really?" Lou asked.

"Well yeah, considering what I expected it to be", Mitch replied. "Besides, I'm just kind of done of thinking I have something and then losing it. If Tim's the worst thing that could happen to me right now, I consider myself lucky. And that's saying a lot."

Lou wondered about that. "Does that mean... there would be other things you might still want but don't have?"

Mitch looked at Lou, knowing that she knew there was, and he felt kind of ridiculous about it. Lou was able to pull his heartstrings if she wanted and this was the proof. He didn't want to be too hung up on her, but he couldn't help but want a relationship. Still, it was more complicated than he wanted it to be.

"I don't think I have to answer to that question..." Mitch pointed out.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about you", Lou admitted.

Mitch nodded, but then looked down, feeling like he was back to being where he had been too many times. "I've been thinking about you, too."

They then looked at each other and could both feel like there was a moment, but Mitch hesitated. He knew if he gave in, he would fall back to the same situation he had fought his way out slowly over these past few months.

"So... don't you think that means something...?" Lou asked, coming closer and laying her hands on Mitch's chest. "Like, we should... get together."

Mitch sighed, gently putting his hands on her hands. "You know I'd love to, but... not before things change. I'm not just some... toy boy."

"Hey, I'm only few years older than you", Lou said playfully.

"You know what I mean", Mitch responded and looked into her eyes. She got more serious, planning things out.

"We could keep it casual", Lou said. "I mean, how can we deny this chemistry even though the circumstances are not ideal? We can't just ignore this."

"I can't deny there is something between us, but we should be able to think about it rationally", Mitch responded and looked into Lou's eyes. "I don't want just a casual thing. It hasn't done much good for me in the past. Yeah, it feels good while we have it, but when we don't... it doesn't make any sense to have the little that we do have. I feel like I need to be able to listen to myself more when you're not here or I'll just lose the sense of what I really want."

"So... that's it? We're not going to act on it?" Lou sounded disappointed.

Mitch stood his ground. "I don't think it's a solution to anything we want. It's just a permanent filling to something we would like to have."

Lou stepped back and swallowed her pride. Their hands parted as they distanced themselves from each other physically and emotionally.

"So... that's it then?" Lou checked and looked at Mitch. She was still kind of shocked that Mitch had turned her down.

As difficult it was for Mitch to resist the closeness, he knew he was doing the right thing. At least he now knew that Lou wasn't ready to whatever he was and even though it hurt immensely, knowing it for sure was a first step to finding whatever was out there for him.

"We can be friends, but... I don't think anything else is going to happen between us anymore. And I don't want to spend my life waiting for something that might never come", Mitch commented. "It keeps me from things that I could be doing but I'm not because I'm too busy waiting."

"I get it." Lou nodded, understanding it. She wasn't ready for something serious yet, not this soon after a long marriage and especially because her life was taking her elsewhere. "So, I guess this is one type of goodbye then."

"Goodbye - and goodnight", Mitch confirmed.

Lou went for the door and gave him one last glance before she stepped out and left Mitch alone.

Mitch sighed. He had expected to feel disappointed, but surprisingly enough, he just felt relieved. At least now he knew.


	13. Chapter 13

_Going to reply to few reviews here because I can't reply to them directly otherwise! The story is about **Amy and Mitch** , not Lou nor Ty. The whole idea behind "Filling Empty Spaces" is that Amy and Mitch lives connect because of their absent lovers and other struggles, so if Ty's involved, it's because Amy needs to deal with some things and if Lou's involved, it's because you need to see Mitch's side of things (that will matter later in the story). So again, this story is not about Amy and Ty or about Mitch and Lou, it's about **Amy and Mitch.** _

_I also don't know what you clicked into, but this a story about **drama and angst** (the genres I listed), so if you are expecting a happy story (especially for the next few chapters), it's not going to happen. You can always click away if that's not your cup of tea - and that's okay, angst is not for everyone. I know there are thousand other happy Ty and Amy stories out there for you to pick but this won't be one and there was never a plan for it to be (hence me listing it under drama and angst). I want to explore this particular scenario and while it might not be a happy one, I feel like it's worth exploring - just the way I like to do things. Also, there's a happy version happening in the show itself, so I want to have an option where things are dealt differently and the outcomes are different - that's what fan fiction is for!_

 _As for me "skipping too much" between Amy's accident and Lou coming home; I've been told in the past that I take too much time to get to where things need to be, so I wanted to take in the feedback to move the story along. Apparently, it was not the right way either, so what I've found is that I can't please everyone (not that I didn't know it before, but you know). But essentially, I made that choice because I wanted you guys to feel the uncertainty of the situation from the POV of Mitch and Lou - they weren't sure what had happened in the loft between Ty and Amy and I wanted to show Ty and Amy's relationship from the outsider's POV so hopefully you'll be able to see it from another perspective and realize how it might look for others. I filled in some blanks with the chapter where Lou helps Amy, like Tim lecturing Ty and Ty being quiet because of it, because that would have basically been the content of those "missing chapters" and to me they are not that significant in the grand scheme of things, which is why I didn't bother to write them in the first place._

 _Anyway, I hope this clears some things up a bit! If you continue to read, I hope you enjoy. If not, no hard feelings._

* * *

Lou drove Amy to the town next morning. They both had a lot on their mind, so neither of them even noticed how quiet the ride had been before they arrived to the clinic, and Amy was ready to step out of the SUV.

"Can you manage?" Lou checked when Amy opened her seat belt and then the door. She didn't want to baby Amy as she was known to be stubborn, but wanted to ask if she _wanted_ help.

"Yeah. I still have the other hand", Amy reminded when she pushed the door open. "I'll see you in a few."

Lou nodded and watched as Amy walked to the clinic.

Last night circled on Lou's mind as she kept repeating Mitch's words. The rejection, being here at the clinic and the recent high school reunion made Lou wonder how her life would be now if she had stayed together with Scott. They would have probably had their difficulties as well, but like she had said to the man at the reunion, he was one of the few people who knew her inside out.

Would she ever get that lucky again?

As Amy walked inside the clinic, she found Scott with Cassandra from the reception room. They were going through some papers, and Amy wasn't sure if she wanted to interrupt them, but Cassandra noticed her from the corner of her eye and looked shocked.

"Oh my god, Amy, what's happened to you?!" The young vet gestured her cast with her hands, looking surprised. Supposedly she had not heard - and maybe it was better that way.

"Oh... This. I fell down the stairs", Amy explained. She didn't want to make a big deal out of this, especially around Ty's friend and colleague. Even though her visit was personal, she wanted to keep this professional. "Sorry, if I'm interrupting."

"It's okay, we were about done here anyway", Scott said. "So if you could just check that one as soon as possible, that'd be great", he finished the conversation with Cassandra who nodded.

"Of course. And I'll go check the animals at the back now", Cassandra replied, taking a hint to leave Amy and Scott to talk alone. "I hope you feel better soon, Amy."

"Thanks", Amy said, smiling weakly, and followed Cassandra with her eyes until she was out of sight. She didn't want to have this conversation with Scott when Cassandra was around, just in case she wasn't aware of what was going on with Ty and Scott.

"So... what's up?" Scott asked, even though he had his suspicions.

"I wanted to talk to you about Ty and the letter that was sent from the law firm", Amy gave him the cues. Scott tensed up and avoided eye contact immediately. "I want to understand why would you do something like that to him."

" _Me?!_ " Scott scoffed and looked now back at Amy, almost amused about her accusations. "I guess you could ask the same question from Ty about me."

Amy frowned. Was this more complicated than she thought?

"Look... I don't know if we should talk about this, Amy." Scott tried to remain calm even if it was hard.

"I get that, but I wouldn't put you into this position if I had any other choice", Amy said, trying to explain her point of view. She needed to hear both sides of the story to get anywhere with Ty. "I'm desperate, Scott. Ty's been keeping things from me, and at this point it's getting personal. I feel like there's more to this than I know. When I saw the letter from the law firm, I had no idea that something had been going on with you two for things to escalate into something like this. This isn't me being suspicious or possessive, my marriage with Ty is at stake here. So, please, help me understand."

Scott sighed. He didn't know if he should say anything without a lawyer present, but at the same time he could see the pain in Amy's eyes. She was being serious and from a personal point of view, Scott could relate to the unfairness of this situation.

"Okay", Scott finally agreed. "But only because we go way back and because I consider you a friend", he stressed. "I could get in trouble for this..."

"Thank you, Scott", Amy said even though she didn't even know what was about to come yet. "You don't know how much this means to me."

"Wait here." Scott went to get some files from the back and when he came back to Amy, he spread them before her on the table. "Here's the contract Ty signed when he became a partner", he pointed with his index finger, giving Amy time to go through it. "Maybe you've seen it before."

"I haven't", Amy said. She let her eyes run on the papers, taking in the text, but to her, it seemed pretty standard and nothing out of the ordinary stood out. "What am I supposed to look at?"

"Here's the part about his obligations to the clinic as a partner", Scott pointed out, tapping that part of the paper. As Amy was reading the terms, Scott took out more papers. "And here are his time logs. Basically, they are one third of his obligations to his agreement up to now."

"Okay, so... his trips to Mongolia must be the reason", Amy tried to understand why Ty had only done so few. She knew Ty had been gone a lot, but why was that suddenly a problem for Scott if he had allowed it?

"Yeah, they have. And so have his other trips", Scott confirmed bitterly, clenching his jaw as he tried to act civil.

Amy knew this looked bad, but she tried to understand how come Scott was so business like toward Ty if they had had an agreement. "But why didn't this ever come up before he left to Mongolia?"

"I was okay with the first trip, I even told him it would make him a better vet, but I thought that was going to be it. Before he left, we did some calculations and made sure it would leave him enough time to catch up with the obligations when he came back. He was okay with that - and so was I", Scott wanted to make clear. "I was worried when he got sick from the tick bite and took that leave, which again I allowed because, well, he had to get well first, but like I said, there was still a chance for him to catch up. Except... he wasn't interested in that anymore."

"What do you mean?" Amy asked.

"Well, not soon after his return to the clinic, Ty came to me before his trip to B.C., and wanted to ask time off", Scott explained.

"But... I thought that was part of... what you guys were doing here", Amy felt confused. "I thought you were sort of... branching out."

"Wish it was, but we could never afford something like that. We are a small clinic in Hudson - two years ago we almost had to merge with another clinic just to survive, if you remember", Scott said, making a nod to the time when Ty had left to work for Bob. "There's a whole different organization behind that mission."

"Okay, so you didn't agree with that", Amy checked, making Scott nod, as she was trying to fill the empty blanks of her knowledge. "How come you allowed it then?"

"Well, that's the thing - I didn't", Scott said, sighing. "And that's when things got nasty. I didn't want to believe he would put me in the spot, but then again, like I said, he has left me high and dry before when he quit here so he could go and work for Bob, so looking back, I shouldn't have put that past him... Maybe I thought he had learned to be more humble, especially because I took him back and gave him another chance when it turned out that Bob was working with those local poachers, but maybe I was just kidding myself."

"What spot...?" Amy asked.

"He basically blackmailed me, saying, if I wouldn't allow the trip, he would quit, because he already had a better offer lined up to run a Vets Without Borders branch office in Vancouver. That was who was running the whole operation with the wolves", Scott explained so Amy would understand all the players involved. "Ty told me he had made quite an impression with his first trip to Mongolia, and they really wanted to work with him even more. Apparently, his type is exactly what they are looking for."

"What...?" Amy was shocked, hearing the blood rush in her ears. "Vancouver...? No... He'd never-He's never said anything about that."

Scott felt sorry for Amy; based on her reaction, she was out of the loop from a lot of things but it was time for her to find out since a lot of things had happened within these past few months. "I'm sorry I have to be the one telling you this, I can't believe Ty hasn't told you... Basically, what's happened here has been that Ty hasn't been working with me since his trip to B.C."

"But that's not possible", Amy argued, shaking her head, even though she didn't know why Scott would lie about something like this. "He's gone to these conferences-"

"What conferences...?" Scott asked.

"The ones I thought were part of his obligations to the clinic..." Amy replied, but as soon as she said it out loud and saw Scott's disappointed reaction, she realized those conferences had nothing to do with being a partner at the Hudson vet clinic, but were probably about the whole Vets Without Borders plan. She began to shake with rage. "That explains why you or Cass couldn't do them... God, I'm such an idiot!" she sighed.

"No, you're not", Scott said, feeling sorry for Amy. Maybe it was better that he had shared all this with her after all, whether his lawyer agreed with him or not. "I know it might seem ruthless of me on a personal level, but I have a business to run here. Ty made me a promise and he hasn't followed up. I have a lot to lose and I can't put all this weight on Cassandra either. I need to think what's best for us here. As far as I'm concerned, Ty's on his own mission right now."

"I understand and after hearing all this, I don't blame you for doing what you did", Amy said now that she knew the truth. "I know how you've helped Ty in the past, so many times, and I don't know where he would be without you. I just don't understand how he could do this to you... after everything you've been through."

"I guess Hudson just isn't enough for him", Scott shared his conclusion. "I mean, I can understand that; he's a young vet with an ambition and a need to help animals - that's what makes a good vet - but I just don't think burning bridges should be the way to do it."

Even though Amy felt million times worse than when she had got here, at least she now knew the truth and so many things Ty had kept from her for months now. "Thank you for telling me this, I really appreciate it, Scott."

"I wish I could have given you better news... But this has been what's been happening here. I hope you find a way to make things work for you, I really do", Scott said sincerely.

"So do I..." Amy said, even though she didn't know what would follow.


	14. Chapter 14

_Sorry for the long wait, life's been pretty hectic these past few weeks! But here's a first one of new set of chapters._

* * *

Lou listened to the radio as she sat and waited for Amy in front of the vet clinic. When she finally saw her sister come out, Lou turned the music down and watched as Amy approached the SUV. She moved quickly, almost as if in a hurry, and looked down.

When the younger woman climbed into the vehicle clumsily, Lou expected her to say something, but when all Amy let out was a sigh, she had to ask.

"Did that help... or not...?"

Amy looked at the vet clinic as if something traumatic had happened inside and she was glad to get out of there. "Yes. And no."

Lou wasn't sure what she was supposed to make out of that answer, but at least it was good to hear that meeting Scott had helped Amy to some degree.

"Can I ask you a favour?" Amy asked from Lou after a beat.

Lou turned to face Amy in her seat, showing she was ready to help her even more. "Yeah, of course. What is it?"

"I don't really know if I want to - or can - talk about what it is that I am going through right now, but it has nothing to do with you", Amy started to explain. "As we drive home, and I start to process things even more, I might feel like crying. I know this is very weird request, but I want you to ignore me if I do that. Just... don't ask any questions, don't make a big deal about it. I just want to cry, but I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay..." Lou said, but her tone was unsure. Her eyes were full of concern as she watched her little sister. "Are you sure...? I mean... if you feel like crying, things can't be good."

"Just promise me, Lou", Amy pressed, not wanting to explain herself further. She didn't even know if she could explain and make sense right now as she was falling apart. At this moment this was just something she needed to do without anyone making a big deal out of it.

"Okay, I promise", Lou said, even though she didn't like it, but she wanted to respect Amy's request.

"Thank you", Amy murmured and put on her seat belt. "We can go home now."

* * *

When Lou and Amy got back to the ranch, Amy got out of the truck and started to walk toward the barn. She knew Ty to be there because of the truck and stroller in front of the building and that she needed to talk to him, but the thing she didn't know was what exactly was she going to say to her husband.

Scott had told the things at the vet clinic in confidence, and Amy wanted to respect that. Even though Amy was enraged, she appreciated that at least Scott had had the courage to tell her the truth - now she just needed to hear Ty confess the same thing.

If Ty were to find out that Scott had went behind his back and shared what her husband had not - but should have - the old family friend could get in serious trouble. With the way things had gone with the two men, Amy had no doubt that Ty could make it ugly if he wanted to, as he already had.

It had been days since Amy had been in the barn, so being there made her feel strange. She walked up to her horse as Spartan pushed his head over the stall door after recognizing the familiar steps.

"Hey, boy... Good to see ya..." Amy spoke to him gently. Spartan sniffed her cast carefully, wondering what it was and why it smelled funny. "I know... That's why I haven't been able to ride. But I will be back, don't you worry. Besides, you get to have some rest too."

Scratching the gelding with her other hand and inhaling the scent of him made Amy emotional. She had been able to hold back tears in the truck, but now it seemed like they were making their way out. Something about Spartan always made her feel more vulnerable yet safe.

After her mother's death, Amy had not known if she could ever feel happiness again, but then Ty had showed up, and they had fallen in love. In a way it had always felt like her mother had somehow "set them up" without knowing it. For years, Amy had thought Marion's last blessings to be Ty and this horse of hers, but right now she was wondering if she had been wrong about Ty. Since getting engaged and eventually married, Amy had thought Ty's running days to be over, but it seemed like they had only changed form.

"Hey... Didn't expect to see you here", Amy heard Ty's voice coming from the saddle rack's direction. "I was just about to come and check on the horses", he explained, pointing toward the stalls.

Amy quickly wiped her tears on the side of her hand and hid her face from Ty so he wouldn't see she had been crying (even though he could probably tell it from the way she didn't face him).

"I saw you and Lou went to the town", Ty tried chatting when Amy didn't say anything to him. He walked closer, holding his hands in his pockets and feeling awkward. "Did you have a doctor's appointment?"

"No..." Amy shook her head. "I just needed to get out for a while", she half-lied.

"Yeah... I guess it's good to get out every once in a while", Ty agreed.

"You would know." Amy's words came out bitter.

Ty looked at her, wondering if they were still doing this. Even after days, not only was Amy giving her silent treatment, but she was also still holding onto their fight. "What's that supposed to mean...?"

"You know what it means", Amy didn't think Ty stupid. "Lately you've been anywhere but here."

"But I'm here now", Ty replied.

"For how long? How long till something takes you away again?" Amy said, now turning around and revealing her face. She looked at Ty who was unable to answer her question - not because he didn't know, but because he did. He couldn't stay, not with his secret, other life in Vancouver.

"Amy, I..." Ty tried, but he didn't know where he was going with it.

"Do you even want to be here?" Amy asked.

"Of course. I want to be with you and Lyndy", Ty said, sounding somewhat sincere. "You never have to doubt that."

Amy laughed incredulously. "That's the thing; right now I can't do anything but doubt it. Especially after that letter from the law firm and your recent absences. Something's going on, Ty, I can tell it, so why don't you just tell me the whole truth. I don't want to figure things out on my own - I shouldn't have to."

Ty looked down, sighing. "Fine. I'll tell you, but you're not going to like it..."

"Doesn't matter; I deserve the truth", Amy demanded. "I'm your wife, I'm the mother of your child. Your partner, your friend... Or I was."

"Let's talk in the loft", Ty suggested so no one could interrupt them.

"No", Amy shook her head. "I don't want to go there. Let's go to the pond."

"Okay", Ty agreed. "But I need to ask Lou to look after Lyndy."


	15. Chapter 15

Ty and Amy walked side by side toward the pond between the long blades of grass, both fiddling their hands nervously but for different reasons.

For Ty, it was about revealing his situation and some of the plans he had crafted, and for Amy, it was about waiting if Ty was going to tell her what Scott already had. She had to admit that already knowing the truth gave her some peace of mind, but at the same knowing how bad things sounded made her wonder if Ty could be truthful with her.

Even though Amy was angry about the choices Ty had chose to make and it felt like they were completely different people on completely different paths, he was right about one thing - she was not going to like whatever he would tell her.

"Well... here goes", Ty started talking, not really sure where to begin, but knowing he had to come clean. "I got a job from Vancouver."

Amy looked at him, trying to read his expression to know how he felt about it. From Scott's perspective - and hers - it wasn't a good thing, but the way Scott had explained things made it sound like Ty was excited about this opportunity as he had been ready to burn some major bridges behind him for it. But right now, he was keeping a straight face.

"What kind of job...?" Amy quizzed.

"With Vets Without Borders", Ty revealed. "They were impressed with the way I helped the Gobi bears and my overall attitude toward the kind of job they do, so they offered me a position, and I accepted it."

"In Vancouver", Amy echoed, pointing out the problem.

"Yeah", Ty said, looking at Amy who looked like she was moping.

"And what about Scott?" Amy wanted to bring out the dirt in hopes to hear what Ty had to say about the way he had been treating his old friend. "And the letter?"

"I quit my job in Hudson", Ty explained. "And he wasn't too happy about it."

"Why would that be?" Amy asked even though she already knew. The way Ty talked about it made it seem like Scott was some kind of bad guy when he just wanted things to be fair.

"I don't know." Ty shrugged. "I guess he just didn't want me to go."

Amy swallowed her anger because she knew things to be much more complicated than what Ty wanted her to believe. But she had not heard Ty's side of things just yet. "And how long has this been going on...?"

"Since my first trip to Vancouver", Ty said. They had already touched that in their fight before the accident, but now Amy would know more about what had happened behind the scenes.

"Okay, so you have a job in Vancouver", Amy stated, trying to keep herself collected, "and you've had it for months now. When were you going to tell me?"

"All in due time", Ty just said.

"And when was that going to be?" Amy flared up. "If I had not opened that letter, when would you have told me?" Who knew how long she would have been kept in the shadows, feeling like a fool as she was trying to support her husband without knowing what he was even doing.

"I was going to prove to you we could make it work", Ty explained.

"Prove me...?" Amy frowned. "What does that mean?"

Ty almost chuckled at Amy's lack of self-awareness. "Come on, Amy. You have to admit you're not very good with change, especially when you know it's coming."

Ty's word - while true - felt hurtful. "So, what - you're just going to do things behind my back? It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission, is that it?" Amy stopped and looked at her husband with a dirty look.

"Well... I guess you could see it that way", Ty admitted, turning to face her.

Amy almost couldn't handle her frustration. "You get a job in Vancouver and accept it without telling me, and hope that over time I'll be okay with you being away so much?"

"Well- no... The plan was that after a while, we'd be able to move to Vancouver, get a house of our own", Ty revealed. "You, me, Lyndy."

This was something Scott had not known about and neither had she, so it felt like getting hit with a hammer right across one's face. "You can't be serious... Ty, my whole life is in here! You can't just make a decision like that and hope I'll be okay with it!"

"See, I knew you were going to say that", Ty said, getting frustrated. "Which is why I didn't tell you right away. You once told me that we shouldn't hold each other back, but then when I left to Mongolia the first time, you said that it would be the only trip I would get to do, that you would not let me go when the baby would be here. Yet, you were the one who pushed me to help Attila and the wolves. I don't think even you know what you want, but I want to believe that you meant it when you said we shouldn't hold each other back, because that's what we've been doing. And that's why I took the job."

Amy almost choked. "You're turning this on me?! That I'm not allowed to be angry about this because of some ancient thing you use against me to justify your own, independent needs outside this relationship? Ty... I've been supporting you because I thought that this was going to be temporary, that one day it'll end, and you don't have to go away all the time."

"I don't want to be stuck here, Amy!" Ty shot back. "If we do this your way, we'll settle down and spend the rest of our lives here. I want more. I know I'm capable of so much more than that! Why can't you support that?"

"But this is my home..." Amy said sadly, taking it personally that Ty was somehow making it seem like Hudson was nothing but a prison to them.

"Exactly. Your idea of moving out of the ranch house is moving on top of the old barn you've spent your childhood and teenage years in - and by the looks of it, your adulthood and retirement years, too", Ty explained. "You're never going to dream big, but that shouldn't stop me. I don't want to be held back and become bitter just because you can't see that I could be out there, doing more than what I'm doing here in Hudson."

"But if you feel like this... why did you even marry me? Why did you even want to have children with me?" Amy wanted to know. She felt like she had been lead on with these dreams about them working together and living at Heartland, but now Ty was saying he wanted none of that, he wanted the exact opposite.

"Because... Because I didn't know I wanted it until I had it. When I went to Mongolia, I knew it was what I was built for, it was what I was meant to be doing", Ty explained with such passion that made Amy realize she had not seen Ty being so passionate about anything for a while. "Like there was this flicker in me all this time, but it was just waiting for some air to be set align."

Amy felt a lump in her throat. "And Hudson, me or Lyndy were never going to be that air for you", she translated what Ty was giving her.

He looked at Amy. Things weren't as black and white as she made them out to be.

"It's not that I don't love you - I do, I love you both so much - but... I can't live like this... This life is not meant for me", Ty tried to explain one more time. "So I was hoping, that you would give Vancouver a chance, just like I have given Hudson a chance."

"But, Ty... I know it's not going to be for me", Amy couldn't understand why Ty didn't know her that much after all this time. "I've already had my chance out there and what I came to realize is that there really is no place like home for me. This is what I am."

"No, this is what you do", Ty corrected.

"No, you're wrong." Amy kept shaking her head. " _It is_ what I am."

And after that, there was a silence. Both of them looked each other in the eyes. The anger was now gone, but there was sadness lingering. It felt like one of those moments where one just knew their life was going to change forever.

And after that, it did.


	16. Chapter 16

It didn't take too much time for Amy to recall when she had been this unexcited about Christmas than she was now.

The first Christmas after her mom's death had been terrifying and what had made it even worse had been Ty leaving without saying goodbye - well, if you didn't count the letter, that is. Her heart had been barely together after the loss of Marion, but Ty had gone and smashed it into pieces again back then by going to a big city to see what life had had to offer him.

This Christmas was again spent without mom or Ty, so it almost made Amy feel like she was stuck in some kind of déjà vu, ten years later.

Even with this being Lyndy's first Christmas, Amy just couldn't find the joy of it all. Not only because everything felt so uncertain with every field of her life, but also because she still wasn't feeling fully herself after the accident few months ago.

She had done light riding sessions with Spartan, but her arm was still getting used to the daily tasks after the cast had been removed. Now, with her trying to get up on her horse, Amy was starting to feel hopeless again, as if this was just another thing she couldn't do right even when she had thought she had it figured out.

"Wooo, Spartan. Stay, boy..." Amy spoke gently to the horse when he kept moving around as she was trying to mount him. "I need you to stay still, okay?" she kept going when the gelding seemed like he was not listening.

When it seemed like it just wasn't going to happen and Spartan kept moving away just as she was trying to put her boot on the stirrup, Amy sighed and leaned her head against Spartan's neck and closed her eyes, hoping to refocus herself.

"Please, I need you to do this for me. Just this. Please..."

"Hey, Amy. Do you need a leg-up?" she heard Mitch's voice when he came from the back of the barn with empty wheel-barrels.

The man feeding and exercising the horses these past two months had been just the help Amy had been needing. With Tim recovering from his surgery and Georgie gone in New York with Lou and Katie, Amy didn't have much helping hands, especially now that she was pretty much a single mother.

Grandpa and Lisa helped with what they could, and Amy appreciated that, but she could barely find the time to balance the work and mom life together. Thankfully, she didn't have a social life to begin with, so it didn't add another thing for her to juggle with - if anything, these past few months had proved that she was perfectly fine with being a little bit of a hermit, even if she could have used someone to talk to every once in a while.

Every night, before falling asleep, Amy kept asking herself how mom had done it with all the horses she had healed and with her and Lou running around, creating more things to solve. It was times like these when she missed her the most.

Upon hearing Mitch's voice, Amy pulled her head back and looked at the ranch hand, wondering if she should just accept the help when it was offered - it was not often that this kind of situation presented itself.

"This is embarrassing, but... I just might", Amy said, almost avoiding eye contact. Here was mighty Miracle Girl, who couldn't even get on her horse, let alone find the time to heal horses or something to help with her own broken heart. She was a complete failure.

"Don't feel too bad", Mitch said, walking to her when he had left the wheel-barrels next to the barn wall. "You're only just getting back to this. Besides, this guy is probably just testing ya", he added, looking at the black horse whose pace might have slowed down over the years but who had not lost that twinkle from his eyes.

"I keep wondering if it's that, that maybe he's angry at me for abandoning him again", Amy said as she was getting the leg-up, "but he's been fine when I've been riding him these past few days. So, maybe he's just having an off day."

"Or maybe it's something else", Mitch said, pointing toward the tree line. "Have you seen that leopard colored horse? Think he ran away or is that that real mustang I saw like a year ago?"

Amy scanned the yard with her eyes and just right next to the jumping pen, she could see Ghost's outline.

"Ghost..." she said quietly, her heart probably skipping a beat. "He's wild, Georgie and I tried to both tame him, but... he can't be tamed, and I've learned, shouldn't be tamed. - I didn't notice him. But that could explain Spartan's behavior; geldings and stallions don't always get along. I might need to go and check what's going on with him. He has this habit of appearing when something odd is about to happen."

"Like, an omen...?" Mitch asked, frowning, not being sure if he believed in that sort of thing.

Amy nodded. "Something like that. I'll see you around."

She started collecting her reins quickly, but Mitch stopped her, motioning with his hand.

"Hey, why don't you wait a minute, and I'll tack Venus. I don't feel good about you going after that horse alone, especially if Spartan's acting weird", Mitch worried. "Maybe they'll feel a little better if we add a little feminine energy in the air."

"He might be gone soon, I have to go now", Amy tried to explain and kept glancing at the treeline where the mustang was standing and staring at them. She knew the horse well enough to know that he was restless and didn't stay in one place for too long.

"Okay, fine, you go ahead. I'll follow your tracks", Mitch agreed, realizing there was no stopping Amy and she did have a point.

"Okay. I'll see ya", Amy said and buried her legs against Spartan's side. "Let's go, boy."

As expected, Ghost turned on his heels and started trotting to the forest. He didn't liked to be chased, just like any mustang, but Amy had to go and see what he wanted to show her. Usually there was something she needed to see.

As Amy was trying to keep up with him, she could feel her heart beating faster. Whether she was going through a separation process with Ty or not, seeing Ghost, and knowing what he meant for them, it did still made Amy worry.

Was everything okay with Ty?

Spartan felt restless under her, but Amy tried her best to remain calm herself so that at least one of them was having the confidence to go on. As she reached the treeline, Amy tried to see where Ghost's tracks were leading them and steered Spartan after him.

Thankfully there wasn't too much snow on the ground, so they didn't have to worry much about the footing, but there was just enough that Amy could see the outlines of hoof marks. She was glad that Mitch had been there to see the horse too, or otherwise Amy would have doubted if she really was seeing him or if the mustang would have only been some type of sleep-deprived mirage of hers.

After following Ghost for few minutes and steering Spartan between the birches like they were doing some type of course in a horsemanship show, she stopped and looked around. There were no more tracks, no matter how much she tried to make sure she had checked every direction.

It was as if Ghost had - once again - vanished into thin air.

"Anything...?" Mitch's voice reached her when he followed them after a while.

"This is as far as his tracks go", Amy explained, feeling both nervous and annoyed. Was there something she was missing? Maybe there was an uncovered land that had offered Ghost the perfect get-away. What if she would not see whatever Ghost wanted to show her?

"He really blends in with the scenery too", Mitch commented, looking around and seeing nothing but birches and snow. "I've heard there's a place where the mustangs like to hang out, somewhere around here. Maybe we should go and check it out?"

"Yeah, good idea", Amy said, steering Spartan toward the path that would lead them to the Mustang Meadows. "It's this way."


	17. Chapter 17

As Amy and Mitch reached the top of the hill near the Mustang Meadows, Amy looked around. At first she didn't see any of the wild horses, and the trip to here felt anticlimactic, but then something caught her eye between the trees, across the field. The herd was sticking together and keeping each other warm from the brutal wind that blew across the snow-covered meadow.

"Look! There", Amy said, pointing the direction to Mitch. She checked if the man was looking at the right place. When his face lit up, Amy knew he saw them.

"Wow... I've never actually seen this many mustangs in one place at the same time!" he commented, almost out of breath.

"Not many have", Amy said. Something about the presence of horses made her feel more at home and calm, even though she worried about Ghost and - in a way - about Ty. "This is Ghost's herd. I recognize few of these horses from years ago. It's been a while since I've seen them, though."

She got quiet as she was starting to feel nostalgic. It wasn't about the horses as much as it was about Ty. Amy had helped this herd escape from Wes and his men from years ago with Ty, seen Ghost with one of the mares and their foal with Ty when he had been sick in the fishing cabins and they had occasionally stopped to admire the horses whenever they had spotted them during trail rides.

It all came back to Ty.

Those were good memories, and in a way Amy wished for something like that to happen again, but it probably wasn't in the cards with Ty anymore. He had chosen to live elsewhere and was probably now helping animals somewhere across the globe. Hudson and the little wonders of it - like this herd - had not been enough.

"Anyway... I can't see Ghost anywhere... Can you?" Amy asked when her eyes looked through the various coats of the horses. None of them belonged to Ghost.

"Can't say that I do", Mitch said. "Do you want to wait here for a while?" he suggested, already sensing that Amy probably wasn't going to give up on him that easily.

"Yeah. But if you're busy, you don't have to stay here", Amy replied, not wanting to make Mitch feel like he had obligation to be here, knowing that he probably had a lot of work to do.

"I don't mind - I'm kind of curious to see how this plays out", Mitch responded. "Besides, I was going to go for a walk with Venus anyway, so, we might as well do this instead. She's been feeling kind of anxious now that the Dude Ranch has had no guests, and Lou's not here to ride her."

In a way Mitch shared the feeling; the cattle business quietened down during winter months, and since Lou was not around, the Dude Ranch was somewhat on a hiatus as well, which left him less work to do.

The only good thing that came out of all this was that Jack had asked him if he could help around Heartland. Even though Mitch didn't want to be "just" a ranch hand, it did still feel good to have something to do during these winter months, especially because he knew it to be temporary. He was not one of those people who could just sit and do nothing for longer periods of time.

Amy looked at the horse under Mitch. "Yeah, it's been kind of weird here, with no Georgie or Lou... or anyone else, for that matter."

Mitch could see from Amy's glance that she was feeling gloomy about it, which was understandable, not only because she and her family were close but also because she was going through separation with Ty. With Amy working less now that she was still recovering and had to take care of Lyndy alone, it almost felt like Heartland was hibernating, waiting for spring to come with new opportunities.

"How you've been?" Mitch asked. They had seen each other, passing by every now and then, but it had been months since they had really talked about anything else than horses. At first Mitch had figured it was best to just stick to something casual, because maybe that was what Amy had needed, but now that he could see how isolated Amy had become, he was starting to worry about her.

"Me?" Amy checked and looked at the man next to her. "I've been... okay. It's been kind of a blur, these past few months. I can hardly understand it's Christmas time. I only remember it when I step into the ranch house and I can smell the food Grandpa's been preparing and see the decorations Lisa has put up, but... at the loft, the time is kind of still. The only thing that makes me realize the time is passing is when I can see Lyndy grow every day. She's learning so many new things - she's even walking now!"

A faint smile lingered on Amy's lips as she recalled Lyndy's first steps. She remembered laughing excitedly about it at first, but then ended up crying because of loneliness and her emotions being all over the place. It had been hard, but she was trying to take it day by day.

"That's amazing", Mitch commented, smiling as well. "The kids, the grow up so fast."

Amy nodded. "Yeah, they really do."

"I feel kind of... guilty", Mitch admitted after a beat, "for not talking to you more. I know I've been busy with the work, but... I still should have taken more time to ask you how you're doing."

"But... it's not your concern", Amy pointed out. Mitch might have worked at Heartland, but one of his chores wasn't looking after her on the side.

"I know, but I still have this... urge to help people. Like, even when your dad was having a problem with that skunk earlier this year, I really didn't have any obligation to him, but... at the same time I felt like I should do the right thing, you know", Mitch explained. "I guess I just hate seeing people miserable, that's all."

"Well, that's not a bad thing, wanting to help people, I mean", Amy said, knowing she shared the same kind of thing. It was more evident with horses, but she did like to help people too, sometimes even when they didn't deserve it. "As long as you're not sacrificing your own well-being, or others'."

"It's not, but... I don't want anyone to feel like I'm trying to stick my nose where it doesn't belong. I just want to help if I can", he spoke. "But I haven't really known how to help you."

Amy looked at him, wondering about that. "I suppose it's not easy; I remember feeling helpless when Lou was going through this. How could anyone know what's the right thing to say or do, when even I don't know it and I'm the one going through this. - Besides, I have to admit, I've been kind of isolating myself on purpose."

"Why?" Mitch asked.

"For many reasons", Amy responded, not wanting to get into the whole thing about what Caleb had once said about Mitch's friendliness, "but I guess I just... don't feel like I deserve anything good, like I should be ashamed to be who or what I am."

"Why do you feel that?" Mitch wondered.

"Because..." Amy sighed. "I guess it's something Ty said when we had that one big fight before we... fell apart. He pointed out how my idea of moving out from my childhood home is moving on top of the barn where I'll be spending all my life. I guess it just made me feel... pathetic, or something." She looked down. Suddenly everything she had ever enjoyed after that had felt sad, like there was no comparison to Ty's choices and the risks he was willing to take to live the life to the fullest.

There had even been a moment where she had considered leaving all of this behind and following Ty to his adventures. Maybe he somehow knew better what was good for her. After all, he himself had said that he had only known what he had wanted when he had had it. Sure, she had been to Europe and done few big clinics around the world, but eventually realized they were not for her on the long run, but was that any sign that she couldn't enjoy being the wife of someone who traveled around the world, saving animals?

Eventually, she had gotten bitter about it the more she thought about it. Why would she have to give up something she so purely loved only to end up being the extension of someone who did what they loved, alone. That was not fair for her and not something she wanted to teach Lyndy either.

"Amy, you're not a reflection of someone who can't love you the way you are or deserve to be loved", Mitch said, hoping he wasn't pushing a line. "And I'm sorry if that's a rude thing to say but I wish someone would have said that to me when I saw Lou running out of the church, holding hands with Peter. I know it's not the same thing, but I just... I took all that hurt out on myself and isolated myself from the things that I loved. I wanted to come back here, back to Heartland, but... I had promised myself that I would try to forget it just because Lou hurt me. I almost made myself think I didn't want any of this because I just didn't want to hurt like that again. But when I came back, it was like coming home, and I never wanted to leave again. The hurt... eventually, it passed."

Amy looked at Mitch. It was strange to hear someone talking like that about her, Ty and Lou, but at the same time Amy felt like she had grown a little bit and had come to understand not one of them was always right even though deep down they were good people. They all did things that hurt people and that were wrong. Mitch had a right to feel hurt - and so did she.

"I know..." Amy said, even though she had not fully embraced it yet. "And I also realized that I almost lost myself by trying to chase Ty. At first I thought maybe I was just scared of the change, but maybe I was not so eager to go along with him because... this is me, this is who I want to be and I don't want anyone to take that from me."

"Then you should be who you want to be", Mitch encouraged.

Amy nodded. "I do miss him, though, but not... who he is now, more like who he used to be. But I can't stop him from changing, because... people change, and we shouldn't hold each other back; if that is the direction he wants to go, he should. I just get so angry because of his process, especially how he decided to create these dangerous situations and then it was up to him to protect me and Lyndy from them. It was all his decisions and it was not fair for us."

"You'll find your footing again", Mitch believed, "I know I haven't been through what you have, but... I have been through trauma and I have been through heartbreak and the best thing to help me heal was to embrace the things I love. Like going for a ride and just looking at the beauty of Alberta." He looked around, taking in the vista and feeling better just by looking at it.

"Thanks, Mitch", Amy said. "I feel like you've had this ability to understand me through all of this better than anyone else, which is kind of odd because I never really thought we had that much in common, to be honest. I shouldn't have kept you at arm's length because I could have used your perspective."

"Hell, if any of my sucky situations can help you to get over something better, then all of that suffering has been worth it", Mitch commented with a one-sided grin.

It did lift up Amy's spirits a little and she promised herself not to push Mitch away because of the possible gossip it might create or whatever had happened with other people with similar situations. She just needed a friend right now and it seemed like Mitch was the right person for that.


	18. Chapter 18

When the cold was starting to get to them, and Mitch was feeling stiff from it, he suggested to Amy that they would start circling the meadows to keep themselves and the horses warm. That way they wouldn't have to go far and they would also double their chances of seeing Ghost if he decided to come back to his herd.

"I never learned what happened with Georgie and Ghost back when she thought it was a good idea to gentle him", Mitch started a conversation when they rode side by side and looked around. "I mean, obviously, I can see now that he's free, but... what happened?"

"Well... I was kind of busy giving birth and learning how to look after Lyndy back then, but... from what I understood, Georgie finally realized she couldn't control everything and that some spirits are just meant to be free", Amy explained. "Huh..." she hummed after a beat, making it sound like she had just figured something out.

"What?" Mitch asked, looking at Amy curiously.

"Oh, just..." Amy started talking, but shook her head. "This will probably sound kind of crazy, but... I always thought Ghost representing Ty."

Mitch listened while Amy was sharing her thoughts.

"Here I go again with the Ty stories", she commented on her own speech, feeling almost frustrated with herself. Why was it that everything always had to come back to Ty, even casual conversations with other people. Wasn't the whole point of being separated seeing who they were outside the relationship and not just think about all the things they had been through together?

"It's okay", Mitch said, "I get it; he's been in your life for a long time, he's not just going to disappear from your mind or stories just like that. You haven't really had experiences without him for a while. So... go on."

"Okay", Amy sighed, relieved to hear that Mitch wasn't getting annoyed with her yet. "As I was saying... Ghost was always kind of like Ty's... spirit, or something. I can't really explain it. Every time something bad happened with him, Ghost would appear to me."

"Yeah, you said something about him being almost like a bad omen", Mitch recalled from earlier. He wasn't exactly sure what it meant, but it was clear that the horse's presence meant something to Amy as she looked so concerned about it.

"Yeah, so... I was just thinking how Georgie realized that some spirits just aren't meant to be tamed, and I - once upon a time - realized that myself, but... I never really thought what it could mean in Ty's case. I guess I was kind of trying to force him to run around in pen until he would be able to join up", Amy thought out loud. "And I really did think that it happened with him when he finally proposed to me and we got married, but... now, looking back, I don't really know if you can ever truly gentle a mustang, even if you put him up in a pen and he comes to you. He's probably always going to dream about running free even if I give him everything I possibly can and I think he has it good with me."

Mitch thought about that. "Yeah, I guess some people are kind of like that."

He couldn't help but think about Lou and her business adventures in New York. They had always talked about bad timing with them, but maybe it was just never meant to be. Maybe Lou was just like a mustang, and he had been trying to gentle her spirit by trying to make her settle with him as well.

Clearly, that had not been enough for her.

"And I don't really know if I can even be truly mad about that", Amy continued. "Because I wouldn't want to force that kind of life on Ghost, so why would I want to force that on Ty either? It would all be fake just for the sake of my happiness."

Mitch looked at Amy. "You're just like... the most understanding person ever, aren't you?" He almost laughed at how much empathy Amy had for Ty, even after everything Ty had done to her. "You could just feel hurt, you know, and that would be okay too."

"I know, but I just... I'm just so tired", Amy sighed. "I don't want to hold onto that anger, even if it makes me mad sometimes how things went down. But if I hated it so much when it happened, why would I want to relive that over and over again? Eventually those negative feelings pass, because I don't know if anything good could come out of me trying to understand why Ty couldn't just be happy with me here in Hudson when I could easily understand why Ghost doesn't belong in captivity. Maybe it's due to all of the years I've worked with horses that I've learned to just let go of certain things. The horses don't speak my language, and I will never truly understand everything they're feeling or what they've been through, but... I have to be okay with that. All I can control is how I react to that or to their behavior."

"Still..." Mitch was in awe. "I guess you're just a better person than I am."

"So, are you saying you're still mad at Lou for everything that's happened?" Amy asked back, wanting to understand Mitch and Lou's relationship and what had happened.

One minute Lou had been gushing about Mitch, the next minute she had been hurt and then back to having heart eyes only for her to say that she was over him. It had been hard to keep up, and to be honest, Amy had not really even tried; she had had her own relationship issues to worry about.

Besides, her way of handling things had always been almost a polar opposite of how Lou would have done things. There had been few times when she had taken advice from her sister only for things to end up badly.

And based on how the whole thing with Mitch had turned out, Amy was done taking advice from Lou's book. Seemed like she was good at creating chaos and leaving a mess behind, and Amy didn't want that.

"I don't even know what I am anymore", Mitch said. "I just wish her the best."

"I have to ask... what was it that attracted you about her?" Amy wanted to know. She had been there when Lou had tried online dating with Lisa's help and there had been few men that would have almost seemed more suitable for Lou, so in a way, Mitch had been a dark horse. "You two seem so different."

"I guess she just sounded exciting to me", Mitch recalled the moment where she had read Lou's dating profile. He had gotten back from Afghanistan and had been helping his parents with their place after his mother's stroke while simultaneously trying to overcome with the loss of Zach who had been like a brother to him. Life had been a mess, and he had figured he had just needed someone to love. "Something completely different. Maybe I needed a change of pace and it sounded like she could make my life interesting. And... in a way she did, but maybe it was more than I bargained for. Maybe the opposite don't attract after all."

"Interesting you should say that; people always said that same thing about me and Ty - that we were an unlikely match", Amy shared. "And maybe in some ways we were, but I always kind of felt like we still had enough common ground for it to work. I guess not."

Mitch nodded, looking at Amy. He didn't know all the history Amy and Ty had shared, but to him, they had seemed like a good match. Maybe there had been more to them that met the eye.

"Look!" Amy suddenly noticed Ghost standing at the field, looking at the herd. "It's Ghost. He's okay." He sighed out of a relief, but almost too soon.

Mitch looked around and noticed the horse, gazing toward the other horses, but he was still keeping his distance - it was almost like he was afraid to go to them which seemed odd considering this was his herd.

But when a dark stallion appeared between the trees and started trotting toward Ghost, Mitch was starting to understand the scene taking place in front of them.

"He's been overthrown..." Mitch narrated. "That's the new head of the herd."

It was obvious from the body language the dark and spotted horse showed; even though Ghost was trying to show some pride in himself, he was quickly put back to his place by the black stallion who threw his head around and kicked the snow under his hooves.

"Do you think this is what he wanted to show you...?" Mitch asked, going along with Amy's take on the situation. "That he's been replaced. Maybe he wants you to look after his herd somehow, or something. Make sure they will be alright." When he looked at Amy, he noticed her holding back tears. "Amy...? Are you okay?"

"We should go home", Amy said, turning Spartan around. The horse under her was nervous, not only from the presence of the two stallions on the field, but also because he could sense his rider was upset.

Mitch looked at the horses one last time before following Amy and wondering what had happened just there that he had missed.

"Is everything okay?" Mitch asked when they got back to the ranch, and Amy unmounted. She collected the reins, sniffling a little bit. Mitch wasn't sure if it was from being upset or from the cold.

"Yeah, I just... The visual, it was almost too much for me", Amy explained, looking up at Mitch who was still on Venus. "Seeing Ghost separated from his herd, alone. It just reminded me of Ty and how he's no longer part of his herd, this family here in Hudson. That's all."

"Right... I'm sorry", Mitch offered sympathy, because he didn't know what else he could have done. Even though it was symbolic and hard for Amy to see, maybe it had been something Amy needed to see in order to fully understand what she was going through herself. Maybe it was time for her to be angry about things.

"Yeah, me too", Amy said, nodding sadly. "I should take Spartan inside. Thanks for keeping me company."

Mitch nodded. "Yeah, no problem. I'm just going to go and check out how the Dude Ranch is doing, but... I'll see you around."

"Okay, bye", Amy replied, before turning around and walking Spartan to the barn. Mitch looked after her, hoping there was something more he could do, but maybe this was the part where Amy had to do the healing on her own.


	19. Chapter 19

"Everything smells so good", Amy said as she helped Lyndy get seated on the table. She looked all the food Grandpa and Lisa had put on display for this Christmas dinner and felt a little bit better about the day. At first, she had thought maybe this Christmas would be a sad one because not only was Ty away - he was, once again, travelling somewhere outside Canada - but Lou had decided to stay in New York with the girls so they could experience another type of Christmas as apparently New York Christmas was just magical and something you had to live through at least once in your life.

The way Lou had talked about the grand New York Christmas had made Amy feel, yet again, that Hudson was second to best, even with family. But she liked it here and couldn't imagine spending Christmas anywhere else (there had been few times she had been forced to, but if it was up to her and if it was possible, she would always choose Hudson Christmas over everything else).

Thankfully Tim and Casey had joined them over dinner, so it wasn't just four of them.

"Jack, are you sure you're not expecting more guests?" Tim asked from the other side of the table as he was getting comfortable. "This could feed an army!"

"No, it's just us. I guess I've gotten used to making Christmas dinner for a bigger group of people and now I don't know how to make it just for six people", Jack replied, figuring that they would be probably eating the left-overs well over New Year. Just like Amy, he too had trouble understanding the amount of people on the table.

"Well, we really appreciate this all", Casey said, sitting next to Lisa and glancing at both her and Jack. "Everything's been such a hassle lately that it's nice to come to a table like this and just dig in. I insist I'll help you with the dishes afterwards, though", she continued and put her hand on Lisa's hand to make sure the other woman was paying attention to what she was saying as she would not be okay with Lisa and Jack doing all the work, even after dinner.

"I might take you up on your offer", Lisa said, appreciating the help. "Now... Should we begin?" she suggested, looking around.

But before they could properly put napkins on their laps, there was a knock on the door.

"Sure you're not expecting anyone?" Tim asked from Jack again. He was secretly hoping it was Lou with the girls, making a surprise appearance even if they had said they'd be gone for Christmas. With what he had gone through with the surgery, it had made him appreciate the time with his family even more.

"No, not expecting anyone", Jack replied thoughtfully.

The older man got up and walked toward the mudroom while simultaneously trying to get a peek through the kitchen windows to see if anyone's car was outside, but it was too dark outside for him to tell.

It wasn't until he went for the door, that Jack saw Mitch's outline.

"Hey, Mitch. What are you doing here?" he asked with a surprised tone in his voice. On his face, he had a kind smile. "I thought you were going to go and see your family for Christmas?"

Jack opened the screen door so they could have this conversation better.

"I was, but... the snow storm cut the roads, and I just figured it was too dangerous to even try and go to Mel's, so..." Mitch explained. Behind Jack's shoulder, he could see that the family was getting ready to eat, so Mitch realized he didn't want to take too much of Jack's time. "I don't want to bother you, but do you think I could borrow the tractor for a minute? I need to get back to my trailer, but the road needs clearing."

"Well, sure, but... does that mean you're going to spend your Christmas alone?" Jack had to ask.

"Yeah, unfortunately. It's not ideal, but... what can you do." He shrugged. "I'm sure there's something on television that'll distract me", Mitch tried to find some kind of silver lining, even if it was thin and barely visible.

"Absolutely not", Jack refused. "Christmas is no time to be alone. Why don't you come and join us? There's plenty of food. - In fact, you could be doing us a favor; there's no way we'll be able to eat everything I prepared."

"Are you sure...? I mean, it's... family", Mitch hesitated, not wanting to bud in.

"Yes, of course", Jack said, opening the door even wider so Mitch could step inside. "Come on in. We were just getting started."

"Thank you, Jack, I really appreciate it", Mitch said, feeling humbled.

He stepped in and took off his hat and jacket, then pulling out his boots. The warmth of the house was welcoming along with Jack's invitation and it felt homely as he stepped in and saw the fire in the hearth and all the familiar people gathered around the table.

"Everyone", Jack made announcement as he returned to his seat, "Mitch will be joining us for dinner. He was going to go and see his family for Christmas, but the storm forced him to change his plans which is why I invited him to take part of our dinner. I know we have plenty of food here, so..."

"Absolutely", Lisa agreed, smiling. "The more, the merrier. Here, have a seat", she gestured toward the place next to Lyndy and Amy.

Amy looked at Mitch, feeling a little weird about him sitting on Ty's chair, but at the same time it was almost nice to not have the seat empty as it only reminded her of all the people that were missing from this table.

Besides, Lyndy really liked Mitch, so maybe the little girl would be entertained as well.

"Hey", Mitch said to Amy quietly, then exchanging smiles with her.

"Hey", Amy replied. "Were you going to go and spend the Christmas with your parents?" she asked, knowing they had moved somewhere last year after they had sold their farm.

Mitch shook his head. "No, actually I was going to spend it with Mel-"

"That your new girlfriend?" Tim interrupted as they were rotating the bowls and taking food on their plates. Mitch looked at Tim, feeling like if Lou wasn't here to be a bitter over whatever had happened with them, her dad would do that for her.

"No", Mitch replied, trying to remain calm even though Tim knew how to push his buttons. "That's Zach's wife. Or... widow. I don't really know what the proper title is. She lives close by and invited me over, knowing I wouldn't be able to go and see my parents, so..."

"That's nice", Lisa said. "Is she going to spend her Christmas alone now, though?" she worried since Mitch was now here and not at her place.

"Oh no." Mitch shook his head, putting peas on his plate. "Thankfully not. She, uh, has someone and they have a kid, so... A family Christmas for them."

"Huh..." Tim's brows shot up. "Didn't you say this woman was someone's widow?"

"Yeah, my cousin's. He, uh... He died after we came back home from Afghanistan", Mitch said, not wanting to tell Tim that Zach had actually committed suicide after the horrors they had seen kept haunting him. Jack was the only one on this table who knew the truth, and thankfully Mitch could trust him not to share it with others as Jack knew how deep that wound still was.

"So, it's been... what, few years, since he died?" Tim guessed. Mitch nodded a little, feeling like this was not the discussion he wanted to have over Christmas dinner, but there was no stopping Tim. "I just don't understand how people can get over their spouse's that quickly and find a new person to love."

Casey looked at Tim, wondering if he was being serious. She had to say something, not only for Mitch's sake but for all the widows and widowers out there.

"And what do you think is appropriate time for people to get involved with someone romantically after their spouse has passed?" Casey asked directly, hoping Tim would get a hint. After all, he was talking next to someone whose husband had died and who had began a serious relationship five years later.

It was then that Tim realized that he was maybe saying something that not everyone on the table would agree with.

"Oh, I just mean..." Tim stuttered, "it seems so fast. I don't know, I guess I just couldn't imagine doing that myself; moving on so fast." It wasn't a perfect argument, but for Tim, it was all he could come up with.

"I think it depends on the person", Jack chimed in, knowing something about this himself. "With some people it takes less time, with others... more. These situations are complicated. Sometimes you don't know when the right one comes along", he continued, glancing at Lisa meaningfully, "so should a sadness be the reason to turn away potential happiness? You never know what you might miss, if you're not willing to take a chance. You can't hold onto to sorrow for too long or it's going to be all you're left with."

"Well said", Casey agreed, smiling a little as Jack's words made her feel less alone. She then looked back at Tim. "Besides, just because it's been few years or ten or more years, it doesn't mean you wouldn't have loved that person when you did and that you wouldn't have a place in your heart for them still. It just means that there's still love left in your heart for other people and you shouldn't waste it." She was surprised that Tim had not really understood the fragility of time, even after everything he had been through.

"Yeah, okay, I get it", Tim finally admitted that he had not thought it through, especially with two people on the table who had lost their loved ones and then moved on with other people. "I was too quick to judge." It was almost unheard of for him to admit he had been wrong, but it was something he was working on.

Mitch felt more relieved too. He didn't want to justify Mel's actions to someone who didn't even know her or Zach or what they had had. He could remember feeling strange about Mel's new boyfriend at first, but only because he had been still dealing with the loss of Zach himself and had feared that somehow people would forget about him when he didn't want to. But now that he had seen the couple together and spend time with their kid, it was a relief to see Mel so happy because it would have been what Zach would have wanted and what she deserved after all the hurt.

Amy fed Lyndy in silence, thinking about the conversation the other people on the table had just had. She didn't have much to say from her personal experience, but at the same time she was wondering if it was possible for her to ever find love again - and did she even want that.

Was that just an invitation for more pain?


	20. Chapter 20

After the dinner, Lisa and Casey were washing dishes while Jack and Tim were sat by the fire, going through how the younger man had been feeling this week as he was still recovering from his surgery.

Usually, by this time, the family would have gathered around to play board games and open presents, but with so many adults and so few kids, the excitement just wasn't there - and neither were the gifts since most of them had been for Katie and Georgie (as Amy had asked everyone not to get anything for Lyndy since she was already drowning in all kinds of clutter) and the adults just hadn't feel like they needed anything material.

"So, Jack... The tractor is in the hut, right?" Mitch checked when he was about to leave. As much as he had liked the dinner and had enjoyed the company of the family, it felt like he was the odd one out at this point when everyone else had paired up with someone to spend the evening.

"Yeah. Do you need me to help you with that?" Jack offered, getting up from his chair already.

"No, it's fine. I know where the keys are", Mitch said, not wanting to bother Jack any more than he already had. It helped that he had been working at the farm for a while now as he knew he way around it. "I'll bring it back when I'm done. Thanks for the dinner, it was delicious."

"You're most welcome", Jack said, smiling. "And you can keep the tractor in your use for as long as you need - I won't be needing it for few days - and besides, it'll be good to clear that road to the Dude Ranch anyway; when the snow really packs up, it'll be harder to remove."

"Okay, thanks", Mitch said, then giving Tim also a nod as a gesture of goodbye. Even though they were partners now, it didn't mean they were the best of friends, especially after his break-up with Lou. For some reason, Tim felt like it was his duty to guard his daughter's feelings for her when she wasn't around.

"I'll be going to the loft as well", Amy said as she saw her way out. Even though she loved her family and the dinner had made her forget her loneliness for a while, surprisingly part of her longed to be alone. And not only that, she still had a gift from Ty, for her and for Lyndy, that needed opening up and she wanted to do it alone so she could hide from everyone's eyes while doing it. Who knew what her reaction to it would be. "Thanks for the dinner, Grandpa." She walked up to Jack to give him a hug.

"Are you sure? You and Lyndy could just stay in your old room. She has a crib there as well, you know", he reminded Amy, not wanting to part from his grandchild and her daughter, especially now that there were less people in the house.

It was funny; for years, Jack had felt like the ranch house had been overpopulated, but now that Lou and Amy's family's were not living in it, he was starting to feel lonely, even with Lisa around. Maybe he had gotten to used to the buzz after all, whether he liked to admit it or not.

"I know, but Lyndy sleeps better in the loft", Amy lied. She didn't want to hurt Grandpa's feelings by trying to explain to him how in reality she just needed some solitude. People often didn't understand to respect her emotions even though they meant well with their suggestions.

"Alright. Well, you know where will be", Jack reminded.

"I know", Amy said, looking at her grandfather with gratitude. She then walked up to Tim to give his temple a kiss. "It was good to see you, dad. You look like you're doing okay."

"I am. And it was good to see you too", Tim said, giving a kiss on Lyndy's cheek when Amy bent over. "And you too, Lyndy. I missed you guys." He smiled while looking at the little girl, feeling relieved that he would still be here to see her grow up. "And Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you too", Amy said, smiling. She then walked to the kitchen where Mitch was stuck with Lisa because she insisted that he'd take some of the food with him to the trailer.

"Oh, and you too", Lisa said, pointing at Amy, almost as if she would sneak out if she didn't put her on the spot. "Don't think you can get away without taking something with you."

"Alright", Amy chuckled a little, moved by the way Lisa always cared about her family so much. Lisa was definitely one of her role models when it came to motherhood with the way that she cared. Sure, she could be a little bit too much sometimes, but her heart was in the right place and all she wanted to do was help. At the end of the day, Amy never doubted that Lisa wouldn't love this family with all her heart and that was something she hoped Lyndy would feel too while growing up.

She waited till Lisa put something for her and Lyndy into a plastic box and handed it over.

"Okay, now you can go. Sleep well", Lisa said to both Amy and Lyndy.

"Thanks for the food", Mitch thanked and tapped his plastic box. "I really appreciate it."

"My pleasure", Lisa said to the man with a heartfelt smile.

"I'll see you around, Casey", meanwhile Amy spoke to Casey.

"Oh yeah, for sure. Bye bye, Lyndy", Casey replied, waving to the baby with her fingers.

When they were done parting ways and getting dressed for outside, Mitch hurried to open the door for Amy - after all, she was holding a child and big box of food in her hands.

"Oh, thank you", Amy said with a smile. "It was nice to have you for dinner", she continued when they started walking toward the barn. The man was going to go and get the keys for the tractor from the barn office, so he was ready to open more doors for Amy as well.

"Yeah, it was nice of Jack to invite me", Mitch agreed, putting up the collars from his coat as the freezing air started pushing through his neckline.

"Hope it wasn't too depressing", Amy continued. "With all the talk about your cousin's girlfriend. Or ex-girlfriend", she muttered, still not sure what the proper term was either.

"Oh no." Mitch shook his head. "I mean, I do admit that Tim does know how to make me tick a little, but... thankfully Casey and Jack were able to make him see that things are not as simple as he'd like to think. I don't think I would have been able to do it alone; I still don't feel like I've earned his respect, even with the things I've done."

"He's like that", Amy said, rolling her eyes, "don't take it personally. He might learn to be nicer with you like in... I don't know, ten years or so." She was joking, mostly, which made Mitch chuckle.

"I try not to", Mitch promised, glancing at Amy as they walked across the yard. "I couldn't help but notice that you seemed pretty quiet at the dinner. Is everything alright?"

"I guess it just always surprises me how many broken hearts I'm surrounded by", Amy explained. "Deaths, divorces... I guess it shouldn't have come to me as a surprise that my marriage would fail, too."

Mitch frowned a little. "It wasn't your fault, you know. I mean, you tried, right?"

"Maybe it wasn't, but... I just always thought it would last. But then again, I don't know how realistic that is", Amy thought out loud. "It was my first real relationship that lead to marriage. I can't help but think if maybe we would have needed more time to experience things or date other people to know what we want or... know more about how to work on a relationship. Maybe then we wouldn't have been in this situation. Or in a relationship at all."

"Are you saying you regret your marriage?" Mitch asked.

"Sometimes I feel like I do, but then I realize I don't. Even though it ended like this, maybe it's part of my process toward something else", Amy spoke. "I mean, do I think Grandpa regrets his relationship with my Grandma just because she passed, and it hurt like hell when he had to pick up the pieces? No, I don't. And everything he has with Lisa, would he have it with her if he didn't have all the experiences he does? I doubt it. Maybe all the hurt forms us into someone who has more empathy and sympathy and understanding about the world. At least I'd like to think like that, even though it's hard right now."

Mitch nodded, seeing how much thought Amy had put into all of this. It was something that gave him a peace of mind in a weird way as well - he had been so focused on trying to keep up with Lou's changing emotions and situations, that it had almost caused him anxiety. This kind of slow processing and self awareness was something he was drawn to more.

Amy then continued. "I've been trying to think everything like I would be looking at it back from the future, because that's how I'll feel better about it now."

"That's a good way to think about it", Mitch agreed. "I mean, if I think about Afghanistan, I don't think it was a good experience overall and a lot of bad things came out of it, but... then other things weren't so bad and I'm happy about those opportunities. So if I had not enlisted, would I know anything about those things now? Probably not. Maybe there would be other things I would be happy about in some alternative universe, but I will never know about those things because I'm here now, you know. Through all the hurt and pain, I feel like I know more about myself and life too."

Amy nodded. "Yeah, that was kind of what I was trying to say as well."

"I mean, you have Lyndy, so this can't be all that bad", Mitch was eager to continue the conversation. "And I'm sure, over time you will look back and realize you had and have so many other good things too. It just sucks that the loss and hurt kind of colors everything for you now, but I doubt it'll be like that forever."

"Yeah." Amy smiled. "I don't know how I would have coped with all of this if it wasn't for Lyndy. She's my everything." She nuzzled her face close to her daughter's to get a scent of her.

They arrived to the barn, and Mitch opened the barn office door for Amy. She walked in, thanking him, and turned around before she was about to go upstairs.

"Hey, Mitch..." Amy looked at the man whose attention she now had, "I just wanted to say that... I really appreciate you. And your support. I know it might not be that much to you, that we are just having these casual conversations, but... they mean a lot to me. I've been kind of lonely lately and I realize that's on me, because a big part of me doesn't want to be involved with people right now. I don't really know how to explain this, but... I guess I'm trying to say that I don't mind you. I feel like there's not this pressure to act like I'm something I'm not, when I'm around you, and I like that freedom - it helps me to breathe better. I guess it has kind of been a surprise to me how easily we get along, because I don't think we ever really talked that much before, did we? But now it just - I don't know - makes sense, I guess?"

She was careful in her words, but at the same time she didn't want to leave it unsaid. If Amy had learned anything, it was that talking wasn't overrated. In fact, talking saved you from a lot of trouble. And people deserved to know how you felt about them, it usually helped things to evolve internally and externally.

Mitch smiled, feeling warm about Amy's words.

"Oh, wow... That's an honor", he said, acting a little bit stunned. "I mean, yeah, it's been nice to talk to you, but I guess I just wasn't always sure how you'd find this... friendship, or whatever this is. Like, would it be weird that I was your sister's ex, or..."

"Well, actually, I've been thinking that too", Amy admitted. "How it's not that weird - and I don't know if that's weird", she laughed a little as things were starting to sound complicated even though they made complete sense in her head. "Like before, I would see you through Lou's eyes, but I don't think I really saw... you, you know. But now that Lou's not been around, I've been getting to know the real version of you and not Lou's version, and I feel like her version was something else. You seem much more down to earth than what she always described."

Mitch laughed. "Okay, I might not even wanna know what she's been saying about me. Maybe it's better if I don't." He cringed at the thought. "But I'm glad we've been able to get to know each other, like this, personally. I feel like I'd probably be missing out a lot if we hadn't."

"Yeah", Amy agreed, nodding. "Anyway. I'll let you get back to... whatever you were doing here, and go to the loft now. See you."

"Yeah, see you", Mitch replied, looking after Amy as she went upstairs with her daughter.

He wasn't sure if it was just the general kindness of this family or what, but for some reason Mitch felt like despite living somewhat low-key life right now, it still felt like something more. These talks and moments with Amy made him feel like he was part of something and he was not just drifting around aimlessly.

It was a feeling he had not had in a while.


	21. Chapter 21

Amy walked to the loft, and put Lyndy down on her play pen. The little girl sat down, but quickly tried to stand up by using the bars in the pen as a way to pull her up. It was starting to get harder to look after the girl the more mobile she got, but Amy was thankful she had the play pen to help her because she could at least turn around from Lyndy for few seconds to do something - like now, put the food to the fridge - but Amy was already somewhat dreading the future; Lyndy could get on her wobbly feet already and soon she could walk and then run. How was she supposed to keep up, especially if she wanted to keep working?

Maybe she needed a babysitter.

But with what money?

Ever since her accident, Amy had had to start working less which had been irritating, but since there were physical limitations that had prevented her from doing some of the things she usually did, she had had to respect the sick leave.

But now that her arm was better and her sides didn't hurt anymore, the problem seemed to be time. Looking after Lyndy - as easy baby as she was - took a lot of time and it still, even after all these months, took Amy by surprise how much time little things like going out took.

"Alright, Lyndy... Let's see what your dad sent us", Amy then decided and went to fetch the package from the closet. She placed it on the kitchen isle where she could keep an eye on Lyndy and in a way make her feel like she was participating, even though she didn't really understood what was going on.

Amy opened the soft post package and slid out a wrapped present that was addressed to Lyndy and an envelope that was meant for her. She decided to open the envelope first because she was somehow dreading it more. Ever since the letter from the law firm, all kinds of posts relating to Ty made her feel nervous.

Sliding out a card, Amy pretty much ignored the beautiful horse picture on top of it and went straight to the text. _"I've made a donation to Vet Without Borders under your name..."_ she read out loud and stopped before finishing the sentence. Amy wasn't sure if this was a joke or had Ty not realized how this would make her feel.

She realized Ty's intentions were good, but it almost seemed bad taste to make a donation in her name for a cause that had split them up, but it seemed like Vets Without Borders was all Ty really cared about these days, so maybe it made sense, after all.

Amy felt guilty for feeling bad about animals being helped under her name, because it wasn't what she was against - and neither was Vets Without Borders either, even if it made her flinch every time the organization was mentioned - but the complete lack of Ty's awareness of the situation and the way he kept bringing up his "glorious lifestyle".

And the more Amy thought about it, she realized Ty had always been someone who left his presents to the last minute and this seemed like one of those things too; it was almost like taking out a nice object from your bookshelf and wrapping it up for someone and saying "here you go".

Amy sighed and put the card aside, trying not to think about it too much. _Well, at least it wasn't something too bad,_ she tried to tell herself.

She then moved onto Lyndy's present. It was nicely wrapped, and Amy showed it to Lyndy too. "Look how pretty! I wonder what's inside." Cutting the tapes and removing the ribbons, Amy opened the present that revealed a nice silver dress with a tutu full of glittery stars on the bottom half of it. It was actually pretty cute, and a relief washed over Amy.

This had not been as bad as she had thought, yet she had thought about it all day. What a waste of energy.

"Look at this... Very nice, don't you think?" she talked to Lyndy even if she knew the girl could not respond. Amy handed the dress for Lyndy to fondle while she read the card. _"Merry Christmas, nugget. I love you so much. I can't wait to see you. Maybe you'll wear this on New Year's?"_

The start of the card made Amy feel a little bit of warmness that she had not expected to feel, especially because Ty had called Lyndy Nugget like when she had been pregnant with her, but the last sentence on the other hand made her feel confused.

 _"New Year's?" Did Ty had plans to come to Hudson on New Year's? They had not talked about it, at least. Right...?_

Amy took out her cellphone. She wanted to facetime him and ask, but who knew where he even was now and what time it was over there, and besides, Amy wasn't sure how she would react to seeing his face, so she decided to text him.

 _"Just opened the gifts. Thanks for them",_ she wrote even though she felt conflicted about hers. _"What is this about New Year's in Lyndy's card? Did we have plans?"_

Amy put her phone down and walked over to her calendar while holding the card. She kept racking her brain, trying to think if she had just somehow forgotten something, maybe she had put it down on the calendar and just completely put it out of her mind after that.

 _Maybe I bumped my head during the accident and I'm experiencing some type of memory loss,_ Amy kept thinking, trying to come up with excuses, but there was nothing in the calendar either.

Her phone buzzed as a message from Ty came through.

 _"Well, I was just thinking since you had her for Christmas, that I could have her for New Year's",_ Ty had texted and added. _"We agreed we'd share her from time to time."_

At first Amy felt angry, even though she knew what they had agreed on and that Ty probably missed Lyndy like crazy - she know she would if she was not around her - but then she also felt frustrated how Ty had just assumed this would be okay with her. This was the first time they were discussing it - just few days before Lyndy would join Ty!

This seemed to be Ty's style now; assuming things and then letting her figure out his plans from all sorts of clues. Hell, maybe it had always been his style, the more she thought about it.

Amy tried to compose her mind before texting something back.

 _"I wish you would have brought this up earlier, it's kind of last minute, don't you think?"_ she challenged Ty to think about his way of dealing with things. _"Besides... where will you be at that time? I thought you were outside the country."_

That started a chain of texts back and forth.

 _"I am right now, but I will be back to Canada and B.C. by that time, so Lyndy and I will be spending the New Year's in Vancouver with my mom."_

Amy felt annoyed that she was so annoyed about this, but she couldn't help herself. It was at least good that Ty was going to be in Canada (she wouldn't put Mongolia pass by him at this point as she was so bitter about everything he did these days and how he chose to handle it) and Lily was going to be there - whether Ty trusted her with Lyndy or not, Amy did - but the way Ty spoke about this all made Amy see red.

Now it wasn't even assuming, now it was about what was going to happen.

 _"Okay, well I guess that's what's going to happen then. Next time, I would hope that you would let me know in advance, and we could discuss about the arrangements way before they happen. You know how I feel about sudden moves",_ she didn't even try to hide her disappointment, because of course she was feeling down about it as it was the first time Lyndy was going to go and be with Ty.

Amy had almost felt better about leaving Lyndy behind when she had went to Mongolia - and she had felt bad - than she was feeling now that Ty was going to take her away to Vancouver because at least back then she had been surrounded by the people she knew and more importantly the surroundings she knew, but now it was going to be a whole new location with people Lyndy had hardly seen lately.

How was that going to work?

She wanted to ask one more thing. _"When will you be picking her up?"_

 _"Will Friday do?"_

 _"Yeah, that'll be okay. I'll get her ready then."_

When she turned off her phone and the blue light of it disappeared from the dimness of the room, Amy looked around. She was feeling so many emotions that it was almost hard to identify just one. Lyndy had been the reason she had been able to pull through all of this and she was scared what would happen when the girl was not around. Not to mention, she would have to face Ty and it would probably be really uncomfortable.

Suddenly all she wanted to do was to reverse any thought of any babysitter, she just wanted to look after Lyndy herself, have her all to herself, even if she knew that it was not something she should do, especially because Lyndy had a father who had the same rights to her just as she did.

Amy might have thought Christmas was going to be bad, but New Year's might just be even worse.


	22. Chapter 22

When Friday arrived, so did a lot of conflicting feelings. Lou, who had gotten back to Hudson with her girls for the New Year's, was helping Amy get Lyndy packed in the loft, as this would be the first time the toddler would travel outside Alberta.

"Amy, you don't need this many diapers for Lyndy", Lou said, going through what Amy had just packed. "Pack what she needs before and just right after the flight; Ty can buy her new diapers after that. That way you'll have more room for everything else."

"Right - of course", Amy realized what Lou said made sense. "See? This is why I need your help. I have no idea what I'm supposed to pack and how much. Before it's been so easy; I just have the diaper bag with few clothes and other items, but if I forget something, it's easy for Grandpa or Lisa to just get it from the loft if they need anything."

"Sure it's only that...?" Lou asked, getting a look from Amy. She felt like she needed to explain herself better. "I mean, I remember the first time Katie visited Peter. I was so neurotic about it. It's not that I don't trust Peter, but... it was just new. Kind of made me feel helpless, useless even."

"Well yeah, I am freaking out about it too", Amy admitted as she had felt scatterbrained all day, "and it's so weird because it's not like me - I don't know how to deal with this. I take things as they come, but for some reason, this is something I cannot really face properly."

Lou chuckled a little as she felt like she was looking into her own past right now. "Welcome to motherhood. But don't worry, you'll get used to it."

Amy sighed and nodded, hoping that was the case. Then again, Lou had seemed clueless back in the day when it came to babies and toddlers but now she was a natural in motherhood. Even if their ways of parenting were a little different, Amy still admired Lou for that.

"How's things with Ty...? Have you seen each other since... you know", Lou asked.

She had not really talked with Amy, not only because things were busy in New York, but also somewhat because Amy had been kind of quiet about the whole thing. It was kind of surprising because she herself had felt like talking about it more back when she had gotten separated from Peter. But maybe Amy was different, she was, after all, more introverted.

Amy shook her head. "No. That's probably another reason for me to feel like this. I don't know how I'm going to feel and how he's going to act. - Oh, and, did I told you what he got me for Christmas?"

"No, you didn't", Lou replied as she folded clothes for Lyndy. From the tone of Amy's voice, it seemed like it was not something she was excited about.

Amy sighed. "He made a donation under my name-"

"Oh, but that's nice!" Lou thought.

"-to Vets Without Borders", Amy finished her sentence.

"Oh... that's not good, is it...?" Lou said, already seeing it from Amy's face that it wasn't. "Isn't that a little bit like... I don't know, tooting your own horn...? Or something."

"Right!?" Amy retorted, feeling relieved she could get the emotional response she had been looking for from someone. "That's what I thought, but I wasn't sure if I was just being petty. I mean, I get it, they do good work, but it was just... I don't know, it bothered me." She shrugged.

"Well, you're allowed to be a little petty, I think. It's a process", Lou commented. "I remember when Peter and I were getting separated, everything about Vancouver sort of annoyed me, even though I know it's a great city and if it wasn't for Peter, I would have not had any problems with it. But over time, it got better, so I think this will too. It's just all very fresh for you."

"Yeah, I think so too", Amy agreed. "Besides, maybe it's better to deal with the emotions rather than bottle them up and not even allow yourself to be a little petty before you can move on from that."

"Totally", Lou replied.

They heard someone pulling up in front of the barn, and Lou went to take a peek from the window as she was closer to the French balcony. She saw a taxi with the back door ajar as the driver was being paid. When Ty stepped out with a backpack, Lou looked at Amy who inhaled sharply, guessing who it was.

"He's here. Do you want me to stay with you...?" Lou asked.

"No, it's fine. I think this will be enough. Thanks, Lou." Amy appreciated having Lou (and the girls) back, especially now that she was getting even lonelier as she would not have Lyndy around.

"No problem. Just let me know if you need anything. Oh, and good luck", Lou said and opened the safety gate so she could go downstairs. Her pep talk didn't exactly make Amy feel better, even if she meant well.

As Lou was opening the door at the bottom half of the stairs, Amy could hear her and Ty exchanging few words.

"Oh, hey, Ty."

"Lou. How you're doing?" Ty said, almost somewhat formally. The sound of his voice wrenched Amy's insides. It had been easy to keep him at arm's length through text messages, but now things were getting more real.

"I'm good. Had a lovely Christmas in New York with the girls. We just got back to Hudson to celebrate New Year's."

"Oh, that's nice. Well, I hope you have a good New Year. I'll see you around", Ty replied while Amy was zipping up bags so he would have them ready whenever he would leave (now that she thought about it, Amy realized she didn't have any idea how long Ty would even be staying at Heartland).

"Yeah, you too. See you", Lou said before walking outside.

Amy listened as Ty's steps got closer and soon she could see his head peeking through the bars of the staircase. Her heartbeat got faster as she wasn't sure what feeling would take over.

Before, around this time, she was eagerly waiting for him so she could wrap her arms around him and they could kiss and tell each other how much they had missed one another. None of those feelings were present at the time being.

"Oh, hey", Ty said when she noticed Amy just standing there next to the dinner table with bags and Lyndy's clothes.

"H-hey", Amy replied, looking at the man.

For the most part, Amy felt confused. This felt like a repeat of all those times Ty had went somewhere and come back, but it was like she was looking at a shell of someone she had used to know, but at the same time her brain knew that this was the same person. It was like all of her feelings toward Ty and her memories with him had drained out of his body and left him feeling hollow to her.

"Hey, Lyndy", Ty then went directly to the girl in the pen. He put down his backpack and picked her up, so he could kiss her face and give her a hug. It took a while for the girl to realize who he even was. "God, I've missed you..." He closed his eyes as he held the girl close as if he was rubbing off his love into this tiny human being.

Amy didn't know what to say. Were they supposed to have forced chit chat or what? Should she tell about Lyndy and what she had been up to? Nothing came out naturally.

"Uh, so... I think I have everything ready for her", Amy started explaining when she felt awkward about just standing in the silence. "Her clothes, some items you might need, like lotion, butt wipes, and some toys. There are few diapers, but you should probably buy new ones as soon as you land to Vancouver."

"Oh, I'm not planning on flying", Ty corrected, "Lyndy would need a passport for that. And... as far as I'm concerned, she doesn't have one. Or does she?"

"Right, of course. No, she doesn't", Amy realized. It had not been something she had even thought about, but of course Ty couldn't just take her to a plane; people would want to know whose baby he had with him and if he had any documents to prove it that he was her father. "So... what, you're driving? With your truck?" she guessed, but already knew it wasn't possible as Ty couldn't put car seat in his old GMC and she had the custody of their new truck.

"Caleb will drive me", Ty said, knowing the whole thing about the car seat too. "He was planning to go to Vancouver with Cass anyway, so it's like killing two birds with one stone."

Amy nodded. "Oh, okay. So... when will you be leaving?"

"That eager to get me out of your hair?" Ty hummed with a smile. He put Lyndy down for a minute so he could properly focus on Amy.

The slight snark in his voice annoyed Amy even if she realized she did probably sound like she couldn't get rid of him - and that was partly true, but she also wanted to know the game plan. It wasn't just going to be okay for her to hand Lyndy over to Ty, and not know what they were going to do.

"No, I just... well, like I said, I'd like to be in the loop of things, even if we are separated", Amy said, bringing back arguments from their conversation so she could highlight their problems and hopefully make Ty realize those things needed fixing if they wanted to make this work for Lyndy's sake.

Ty nodded. "Yeah, okay. Well... we were thinking of leaving tonight. Just because the drive is long, and Caleb and I thought we'd take breaks here and there so it doesn't get too much for us, but more importantly, for Lyndy."

"Good." Amy felt at least somewhat better knowing Ty had thought things through. "Where are you planning on staying?"

"In motels, hotels, whatever comes along", Ty listed, shrugging.

"But you'll make sure they are clean, right?" Amy checked. "All kinds of people stay in them, who knows what's in those places. I mean, do you remember what a show it was when Katie had lice?"

She wasn't usually a neat freak like this, but the well-being of her baby had made her see things a little differently.

"I remember", Ty said. "And I'm not stupid, I will make sure it's clean for her. You gotta trust me, Amy, or otherwise this won't work."

"I'm trying... It's just new." She looked around, checking the bags before realizing she would have to add the diapers back. "Well, maybe you need more these, then."

"Yeah, probably", Ty agreed, looking around and feeling odd to be here again. "How you've been?" he asked when Amy's focus was elsewhere.

"Me? Oh, I've been okay", Amy said. She didn't want to open herself up to him, even if these last few months had been hell, it was as if none of her feelings belonged to Ty anymore or whatever events had took place while he had been gone were none of his concern. He had lost that privilege when he had decided to have a life elsewhere, and something in Amy wanted to shut him out even more efficiently.

Ty noticed the awkwardness, and Amy's will to hold back, but decided he wouldn't push it. Instead he just said: "That's good." He, too, felt like there was no common ground outside Lyndy in this moment, for some reason. Like their lives had become so separate it was hard to find something to talk about.

As Amy was putting more diapers in the bag, she felt like the last few years had almost prepared her for this type of situation and that was probably why it didn't hurt as much as she could have thought.

This was not about sending Lyndy away - she was still very much freaking out about that - but her being used to Ty's absence and the fact that she didn't get these intimate echoes from someone when she needed them most - she didn't even have this urge to share them with someone to begin with and that was alarming, considering she was still married to someone. She was now so used to numbing herself and thinking her things weren't worth much because something worse was always happening somewhere else.

In a way, when she had stopped having this intimacy with Ty, both physical and mental, she had lost a big part of herself. And while it was this moment where Amy realized that Ty was a stranger to her, the whole thing had happened earlier than she had realized. The Ty she had known had never returned back from his first trip to Mongolia, not to mention the second time he had been there. Even though she had kissed Ty many times after that, she now realized she had kissed the lips of a stranger and had not realized that until now.

The only thing left between the old Ty and the old Amy was Lyndy, but other than that, they were completely different people.

They were strangers.


	23. Chapter 23

As the family gathered around the table to have dinner later in the afternoon, Ty helped Lyndy get seated while Amy tried to keep her hands to herself. She was trying to let Ty do these things now that he was here, but at the same Amy felt like she should have used this time to savor every little moment with her daughter before the girl would go to Vancouver with Ty.

While Amy had trouble being on the sidelines, she also recognized that she had a need to test Ty while he was under her watchful eye because he had not been around Lyndy for a while. He had been pretty good with her in the beginning, somewhat with the help of his baby app, but Amy had a fear that he had somehow been able to forget what it was that he had done back then.

Not only that, but since seeing Lyndy the last time, the girl had learned "new tricks", and Ty would have to get used to dealing with them as well. Seeing that he still "had it" was important for Amy so she would stop worrying so much.

At the same time part of Amy wanted to see him fail; probably not only because she wanted him to see that being away from a child as long as he had been had consequences, but also because that would help her convince him that taking Lyndy to Vancouver was a bad idea, and he would leave empty-handed.

"I've actually missed these dinners, believe it or not", Georgie said as they were getting ready to eat. The dinners at Heartland were a tradition the whole family cherished, but often were interrupted by some type of drama which was why they had also earned a somewhat infamous reputation.

Lou frowned a little, almost a little hurt that Georgie would say something like that. She had shown her daughter the world, yet she missed mundane things like this. "Something wrong with the cuisine in New York...?" Lou wanted to know as she was placing salad to her plate.

"Well, no, I mean I love going out to eat and especially the pizza in New York, but... I don't know, there's nothing like this back there", Georgie said, smiling and looking around.

"Does that mean that maybe you'll be coming back soon...?" Jack asked curiously, hoping Lou would be done with New York soon, and Georgie and Katie would be back with her as well.

Georgie looked at Lou. The plan was to stay for a while longer and even though she missed her horses and friends from home, New York was still new and exciting for her and she was not ready to come back (not to mention the humiliation with the whole jumping practice fiasco had still not faded enough).

"It's going to take a while", Lou said, "with the whole Maggie's thing. We're getting there, though." She glanced at Georgie, wondering if this was something she should be hurrying with, because even though she loved Hudson, personally New York felt more inspiring right now. "But as always, Georgie is free to choose where she lives."

Jack looked at Georgie who felt like she was put on the spot.

"Oh, I don't know. I kind of like it right now, so... Might be a while till I come back", Georgie stuttered. "It's not that I don't like it here, but... when else am I going to get an opportunity like this again?" she continued, hoping to please Jack.

"You might be right", the old man agreed. It was good that Georgie got to experience it all with her family, because that way they were all more safe in a way.

"I was kind of hoping you'd have some kind of plan for Phoenix and Trouble", Amy commented as she started eating. "Mitch and I have been exercising them, but I feel like they really miss you and would love to get back to work. Jumping, trick-riding, whatever it may be."

"Mitch...?" Lou echoed, even though Amy wasn't even talking to her. Still, she had to ask. "He's been helping you?"

Amy nodded, glancing at Ty who was putting food on Lyndy's table. It seemed like he was doing okay, for now. "Yeah. Grandpa hired him to help me till I get back to normal." She nodded toward the man at the end of the table.

"He's been a big help, especially because your dad has not been able to participate", Jack chimed in. It was not that he was looking for Lou's approval, especially with anything that involved _his_ ranch, but he was hoping to avoid any kind of confusion Lou might have with the subject.

"How's your arm?" Georgie wanted to know, glancing it. "You got your cast off, at least."

Amy nodded. "It's getting better. It's still a little weak, but... that's normal. I just need to exercise it slowly."

"Good", Georgie replied, remembering her own experience with a cast on her arm; it had been a torture, especially when the skin underneath had been itchy. "As for Phoenix and Trouble... I could ask Jade if she would be interested in exercising them every once in a while, just to help you out."

"Okay", Amy said, not completely happy with the suggestion, but at the same time she didn't know if they had any other solutions to this either; there was only so much she and Mitch could do. At least having Jade around every now and then could make the horses feel like their routine was more like it had been with Georgie. "Let me know what she says."

Georgie nodded. "I will."

"You really outdid yourself with the salad dressing, honey", Lisa complimented Jack's recipe between the bites. "It goes amazingly well with this."

Before Jack could say anything, Lou's voice cut him off.

"So... how long do you think Mitch will be on board?" Lou asked from Amy as she couldn't drop it, even they were sort of moving on already from the subject. "I mean, you said your arm is getting better. Are we talking about... days? Weeks...? Months? Isn't he working with Grandpa and dad? Shouldn't that be his priority?"

Amy looked at Lou, wondering why did it matter to her so much. As much as she loved her sister, Lou could sometimes drive her insane.

"Why? It's not like you're here, so... whatever awkward situation you have with him, you can just avoid by being in New York", she said bluntly, figuring that was why she felt so uncomfortable with the thought. "You said it yourself; you won't be back for a while."

Lou glanced at Amy, wondering why she was being so direct. "Did he say we have some kind of awkward situation...?"

"Don't you always?" Amy commented.

The atmosphere at the table got tense. People were suddenly really interested in what type of food they had on their plates, outside Amy and Lou who just stared at each other almost as if waiting for the other person to give up first.

"I was just curious. Just wanted to know what you guys have been up to, is that so wrong?" Lou tried to play it off like it didn't matter to her, because Amy looked so annoyed with her. "Do you have a lot of clients, then?"

"None at the moment, I've had my hands full with everything else", Amy explained even though she had somewhat expected Lou to get that impression already based on everything else that had been talked on the table up to this point.

"It's good that Mitch's helping you - and maybe Lyndy coming to Vancouver will allow you time for yourself too", Ty took part of the conversation, hoping to find something positive about this situation. "You know, more time for trail rides, pampering, clients, whatever."

"Right..." Amy just muttered, keeping her eyes on her dinner so she wouldn't get misty-eyed.

As much as she loved trail rides and moments with client horses, those would not compared to her feelings of spending time with her daughter.

She also didn't like how Ty painted himself as the savior - again. Somehow lately, he had gotten more interested in his legacy and ego than about how things made others - in this case, Amy - feel. Maybe it no longer mattered as much, since they were separated, but it still sure as hell annoyed Amy.

Why was it so easy for him to walk out of this situation as a hero where as she was left feeling crap and some kind of ball in the chain? What had she done wrong?


	24. Chapter 24

When Amy was getting ready for bed that night, her steps slowed down by Lyndy's crib. She let her hand trace the shape of the wood as she looked at the blanket inside. It was strange seeing the space empty and knowing that the girl wasn't even close-by tonight. For over a year now, Amy's world had revolved around that little girl, so now that she was without her, she didn't know what to do with herself.

After a while, Amy pulled the string in Lyndy's mobile and thought back to their goodbyes earlier, hoping that the lullaby playing would somehow soothe her so she would get rid of this anxious feeling.

"You don't have to worry about us, we'll be fine", Ty had said when Amy had put Lyndy to her seat at the back of Caleb's truck. She took her time to make sure everything was perfectly and was ironing Lyndy's clothes with her hands, not feeling like letting go. "I'll send you updates, if that'll make you feel better."

"Pictures, videos, more than once a day", Amy demanded, knowing that it probably sounded like she was asking much, but at the same time knew that her own camera roll these days was full of media about Lyndy, so why would it be any different with Ty (while he took a picture or a video of the toddler, he could just as well send it to her). Thankfully this was acceptable parenting these days.

"Yeah, sure", Ty accepted, shrugging.

"She seems restless", Amy noted, looking at her daughter with some concern.

Ty reached out to Lyndy's bag and handed her her lamb when he was done looking for it. "This should make her feel better. Right, Lyndy?" he flashed her a smile which she returned. "She'll probably fall asleep during the ride."

Amy stepped back but kept her eyes on the girl, still. Lyndy started fiddling the toy, not really caring about what was happening around her.

 _Damn you, Lyndy, why are you such an easy child? Come on, give him some hard time!_ Amy thought to herself, knowing she was being selfish, but at the same time she couldn't help herself.

"Why is this so easy to you?" Amy finally voiced her thoughts, looking at Ty.

Ty frowned, closing the door for Lyndy. "What do you mean...?"

"Everything", Amy said, "you finding this job, being away, moving away, taking her away... It all seems so easy to you, like you're not phased at all. Like everything just happens so perfectly."

"Yeah, it might _seem_ easy", Ty replied, "but it's not. It's never been easy."

"You don't look like you're struggling", Amy pointed out.

Ty wasn't sure if Amy was accusing him of something, her tone sure seemed like it. "That's because I'm used to hiding it. I don't want to worry people."

"Oh yeah, now I remember..." Amy scoffed. He had a point, but Ty had probably not realized that that had been the problem to begin with. "You know, you once said to me that I was good at keeping things from you, but I'm nothing compared to you."

"Seriously...? Are we doing this again?" Ty asked, seemingly annoyed and tired already. "Amy, I didn't come here to fight. I don't want to do this again. We've been through this. I'm just here to pick up Lyndy, that's it. I don't feel like doing... whatever it is that you're trying to do here. There's no obligation for me to stay here and listen to you-"

"So I'm not allowed to be hurt?" Amy asked when Ty was trying to brush her off, following him as he walked behind the truck to the other side. "Is that your solution to everything; out of sight, out of mind? No wonder you've been able to make everything work for yourself! Nothing is a problem to you as long as you don't have to deal with it. Face it, Ty, you're always going to run away from everything."

Ty inhaled sharply and turned around to face Amy before he was ready to go into the truck. Caleb rolled down his window and took a peek over his shoulder.

"Everythin' okay with you two?" the cowboy asked as he had not been able to not notice that Amy's tone was getting louder.

"Yeah, it's fine. We'll be leaving soon", Ty informed him, trying to remain calm.

"Alright", Caleb said, rolling the window back up. "I'll text Cassandra that we'll pick her from the clinic."

When they were left alone again, Ty knew he had to deal with Amy. He didn't know what to say, so he just stared at her for a while. He wasn't even going to weigh in what she had just said, he only wanted to leave before this became a bigger mess and things would get ugly. Amy's accident was still too fresh in his memory, even if he had not meant it to go down like that.

"I don't know what to tell you, Amy", he said. "You're free to hate me, I really can't control that or your other feelings."

"But you can control your actions", Amy pointed out. They were the basis of her reactions, after all. It wasn't like she _wanted_ to hate Ty, but his actions made her resent him.

"Maybe so, but... We are separated. You don't have to invest this much into this anymore. I think we both know at this point that there's no going back, so... why don't we just _move on_." Ty looked at Amy. This wasn't something that he had planned to say to her, but it felt like it needed saying now that every time he came to Heartland, situations turned into this as Amy demanded something from him that he couldn't give to her. "You'll be better off that way than holding onto this much anger. I made mistakes and I've heard you list them to me thousand times. But at some point we just have to face that maybe they are not mistakes, maybe this is just who I am and what I do and it's not compatible with who you are or what you do. Maybe this... us... just wasn't meant to last like this. It's not like are somehow untouchable. If we keep on forcing this, it'll only leave us more hurt."

"What are you saying...?" Amy held back tears. It wasn't as if she had held out too much hope for them at this point, but it was different to hear Ty say it out loud.

"I think you know what I'm saying", Ty said, putting his hand on the door handle. Amy quickly grabbed his wrist and pursed her lips together, keeping him from going in by doing this.

"No - I'm done trying to figure you out, I'm done trying to fill these empty spaces where there are things I'm supposed to know but I don't because you don't tell me! If you have something to tell me, then tell me."

Ty stared at her for a while, hoping his eyes would tell her what he found hard articulating. Eventually, he just had to cave in. "This... It's over. We. Are over."

Amy let her hand fall when she had gotten her answer, now letting Ty go in. Her body was trembling and she felt sick, but she tried her best to pull herself together.

"When are you bringing Lyndy back...?" Amy wanted to know before Ty closed the door and would leave her like this.

"How about next Friday? Will that do?" Ty suggested, again, seemingly unaffected what he had just done.

Amy was unable to say anything, but nodded eventually. Even though her heart was telling her to say no, her head knew that since they had not made any arrangements concerning custody at this point, a week would have to do. After that, she would have Lyndy all to herself.

"Bye, Amy", Ty said before closing the door. It was more like a statement than a goodbye.

Amy took steps back and retreated to the barn doors so she would be out of Caleb's way. This wasn't the first time she had watched Ty took off while standing in this doorway, but it felt just the same - maybe even worse now that he had Lyndy with him.

Amy woke up in the middle of the night, feeling like she was being watched. Laying down, she looked around first, but when she saw no one next to her bed, she got up. Her first instinct was to go to Lyndy to make sure she was okay and she had not woken up to a sound the girl had been making.

Amy was surprised to find the crib empty.

"Lyndy...?" she cried out loud, looking around and noticing Ty on top of the stairs, holding a bundle in his arms. "Ty...? What are you doing here? I thought you left."

"I did, but I'm leaving again. Even further", he said, his expression somehow deformed. Something about him creeped Amy out. "I came to say goodbye."

"W-what do you mean?" Amy asked even though she was afraid to hear him say what she already suspected.

"Mongolia. I'm taking Lyndy to Mongolia. We'll be happy there. I'll show her the ways."

"What?" Amy tried to shake her head, but felt like she was frozen. "You can't! You can't take her, Ty, no!" She kept staring at the top of the stairs, wanting to go and grab her daughter, but she couldn't. It was like she had no control over her body.

While she was struggling, Ty walked through the baby gate, like he was a ghost, and disappeared into the darkness with Lyndy.

"No!" Amy yelled after them.

Amy woke herself up by screaming. She was covered in sweat and felt light-headed, even disoriented. The night light was on as she had forgotten to turn it off before falling asleep (or maybe partly because she was still having hard time falling asleep after the break-in without lights off), so thankfully the loft was lit and not just a dark space. She was quickly on her feet and went to check Lyndy's crib. It was empty. The flashback of what she had just witnessed played in her head. Her head turned toward the staircase automatically, but there was no one there.

It was slowly catching up to her that she had been dreaming about Ty taking Lyndy away from her, all the way to Mongolia. Sitting down, Amy pressed her palm against her forehead and exhaled heavily.

"He can't take Lyndy to Mongolia... She doesn't have a passport", Amy tried to calm herself down by finding the inaccuracies from her sleep so she wouldn't just pick up her phone and make sure Ty had not left the country. "It's okay... It was just a dream. It was just a dream", she kept telling herself, feeling her heartbeats getting slower but her heart getting heavier.


	25. Chapter 25

"I'm afraid to go to sleep, because what if I have that kind of dream again? The first night it was Ty taking Lyndy to Mongolia, but last night it was the poacher stealing her from me. What's next?" Amy wondered unenthusiastically as she shared her recent dreams with Lou. The young mother was cleaning the stalls and putting all her frustrations with this situation to good use while her sister listened from other side of the rails.

Lou had come to the barn to see how Amy was doing now that Lyndy was not at home. When she had asked about it, Amy had began to tell her about her night terrors.

"It's like those dreams somehow drain all my energy even when I'm supposed to be sleeping", Amy kept going. "I wake up, covered in sweat and out of breath, almost as if I had been running, and I feel disoriented. Then I realize what's happened and try to calm myself after a while by saying Ty can't take Lyndy to Mongolia because she doesn't have a passport and that the poacher was captured by police, so those are not things that could happen, but it's hard to get back to sleep after that whether I know what I saw were just dreams or not", she explained further, simultaneously placing the horse stool on the wheel-barrel. "This can't be normal, right? What's wrong with me..."

"Well, you've always had very vivid and strange dreams, right?" Lou checked. This wasn't the first time they had been analyzing Amy's dreams together, sometimes those dreams had even helped Amy figure something out with horses or other daily struggles she was having.

"Well, yeah, but... do you think this is the same type of thing?" Amy hesitated.

"You've been under a lot of stress, I guess this is just your mind's way of unloading it all", Lou guessed. "If it keeps happening, then yeah, maybe call a doctor, but I wouldn't be too worried about it at this point."

Amy shrugged. "Yeah, I guess not... I'm just so... tired."

"Maybe you should go and take a nap after this?" Lou suggested.

"Maybe", Amy agreed.

As Lou had been listening to Amy, she was starting to notice a pattern in the way she viewed Ty, and she couldn't let it go, even if she wanted to trust that Amy had a good reason to feel the way she did. Maybe part of Lou wanted to play a peacemaker too, just because she had always thought Amy and Ty's romance was something out of a movie and refused to believe that this was the end of them.

"As for the whole Ty thing; he could always get Lyndy a passport-" Lou started commenting.

"Gee, Lou! That makes me feel so much better..." Amy said sarcastically as Lou had been able to find a loophole in the reasoning she used at night to make herself feel better.

"No, I mean, he _could_ , but I doubt he _will_. Sounds like you just have to trust him more. He's not going to take Lyndy to Mongolia, I just don't think that's realistic - and even if he did, I don't think that would help his case, it would only make him seem like a bad dad and cause more problems in the long haul. I mean, didn't you say that he's staying with Lily this New Years?" Lou tried to backtrack the whole scenario that was triggering Amy at nights. "Sounds to me that he just wants to spend time with his family, and that's it. I seriously doubt he's trying to kidnap his own daughter, Ty's not like that."

"Well yeah, but lately it's just been secrets and lies with him, so no matter how much I try to tell myself that he'll be different with Lyndy, my consciousness just takes over. Even if I wouldn't think he's thinking of taking Lyndy out of the country while I'm awake because I actually _do_ have that amount trust in him even after everything, I do think the dreams are more like a symbolism of my mistrust in him in general and all the things I've been refusing to deal with until now", Amy said, spreading new bedding to the stall she had just cleaned.

She didn't want to tell Lou that Ty had actually, officially broken things off and they were now truly separated. Maybe that played a part in her dreams as well, but it was still something that she wasn't ready to deal with anyone else, she needed time with it first.

"Yeah, I get it", Lou replied, remembering this type of phase with Peter as well. "Have you heard from him?"

"He's sent me few pictures, but Lyndy's asleep in all of them", Amy shared, "I wouldn't have found that odd otherwise, but before they arrived to Vancouver, Caleb sent me a SOS text message."

Lou furrowed her brow. "What is a SOS text message...?"

"I think it said something like "where's the reboot button of this baby, she's been screaming non-stop and nothing works and I'm about to lose it"", Amy paraphrased. She knew Caleb's humor and wasn't offended the way he had expressed his frustrations about Lyndy's behavior because she did realize it was probably shocking to Caleb how much babies could cry seeing he had never really dealt with babies that much. "So I guess Ty didn't want me to see that side, only the one where Lyndy's doing okay."

It was another way of him to "protect" her from the things Ty figured she didn't "have to know".

"Aww, poor thing", Lou awed and pouted her lower lip out of empathy. "But, you know, it's perfectly normal for a child to behave like that, I mean, she's been with you all this time and now you're nowhere to be seen. How else is she expected to react?"

"I know", Amy said, even though she felt a little bad about how much screaming Lyndy had probably done these past few days. Still, there was nothing she could do about it and it was up to Ty to soothe her - he was her father, after all, and had obligation to look after her, too.

Amy stepped out of the stall and started pushing the wheel-barrel out of the way so she could close the gate. She then went to the back of the barn so she could get rid of the smelly cargo.

Meanwhile, Jack helped Mitch as the younger man was trying to reverse a trailer in front of the barn. The older man kept waving his hand to let Mitch know that he had to go back and strengthen out the trailer if he wanted to get it properly adjusted.

"What are you guys doing?" Lou asked curiously when she was no longer interacting with Amy. "You taking a horse somewhere?" She was under the impression that there were no client horses here, and no Dude Ranch guests had booked any trail rides for today.

"Mitch wanted to take Maverick back to the Dude Ranch for the New Year's", Jack explained, gesturing with his hands for Mitch to inch closer when he finally had the right angle. "Says the horse is scared of the firework. It's not good for him to be here if we are going to fire some in the yard."

Lou thought about it. "Well, we don't necessarily have to do that. I mean, I guess it's kind of strange how we keep doing it when there's always this concern about the horses being distressed when we do."

She could recall that every year they had to do many night checks in case the horses would hurt themselves by being scared of the flashing and loud things in the sky. Even if nothing bad had ever happened, Jack and Amy had always wanted to make sure that the horses were not overly stressed during this time of year.

"But... it's New Year's", Jack pointed out. "You and the girls got back too just for this", he added, hoping to please them so their visit back would be memorable. "What's a New Year's without some fireworks?"

"I didn't say we had to be without fireworks", Lou corrected as Mitch turned off the engine and jumped out of his truck when he was done reversing. "I just said we don't have to have them here and cause distress on the horses, if that's a problem. There's an event happening in the town, next to the Maggie's. They have a firework show there, we could all go. That way you don't have to go through all this trouble of trailering Maverick to the Dude Ranch and the horses don't have to be afraid of the noises and lights coming outside."

"It's not a half bad idea", Jack thought, appreciating Lou's input.

"Besides", Lou said, lowering her voice, "I think Amy could use it. She's been so stressed these past few days, a change of scenery could be helpful."

"Yeah, I've seen it", Jack admitted, feeling like he wanted to do more to help Amy with her separation anxiety. "We could give it a try? Or what do you say?" He turned to Mitch when the younger guy came to open the back of the trailer.

"About that?" Mitch wondered, glancing at both Jack and Lou in turns.

"There's a firework event happening in town, Lou here figured we might go and take a look. It not only helps the horses to feel more comfortable but also could give Amy something else to think about now that Lyndy is with Ty in Vancouver", Jack summed it.

"Yeah", Mitch replied as he held back from opening the trailer. "That's a good idea. So, I guess that means I just reversed this trailer here for nothing..." He was a little annoyed for doing all this work for vain, but at the same time he thought the idea about the firework show in town was good and saved them a lot of trouble.

"Well, at least you don't have to worry about Maverick so much", Jack consoled.

"True", Mitch agreed, nodding.

"So, will you be joining us?" Jack asked. "What time is this again, Lou?"

"Oh..." Lou was surprised about Jack inviting Mitch too, but she didn't want to uninvite him either, especially in front of him as it probably made her look bad. She didn't want him to think she was being petty just because they were no longer dating. She could be reasonable about this. "Well, because it's for the whole family, it's around 9 pm."

"Okay, 9 pm it is then", Jack repeated to Mitch.

"Oh, I don't know", Mitch said, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but here. "I actually have some plans..." He kept looking at Lou nervously, wondering if she could somehow see through his lie. "But, thanks for the invite."

"No problem." Jack nodded, understanding. "If you change your mind, you know where will be", he added and smiled.

"I'll keep that in mind", Mitch promised, returning back to his truck.

"I'll talk to Amy", Lou promised, seeming relieved that Mitch was not coming and making this awkward. When they had been in New York, Katie had been asking about Mitch and if Mitch was joining them, and in a way Lou was trying to wean Katie off of Mitch as she had grown so attach to him and it was starting to become awkward now that they were no longer together. "This will be a good thing, I can feel it!" she announced and went looking for Amy.


	26. Chapter 26

Lou followed Amy upstairs as she was about to go and have a nap. The older sister was hoping she could convince her to come to the town to see the firework show and forget her problems back at home, even for a little while. Lou knew this to be a challenge, not only because Amy preferred to stay home, but also because she had shut herself out from the community for a while now. Lou didn't want her to isolate herself from everyone and everything even if she was going through something difficult right now.

"It'll be great thing, I know Georgie and Katie would love it if you were there", Lou gave Amy reasons to come, "they are only going to be here for a while until we go back to New York."

"Yeah, I know, I get what you're trying to say, but I'm just so tired, Lou. I don't know if I can make it past 6 pm, let alone 9 pm", Amy replied. She kicked off her boots, not even bothering to place them by the staircase because she was so exhausted.

"That's why you need this nap - among other reasons", Lou said. "And coffee. A lots and lots of coffee. From Maggie's, your favourite type. For free."

Amy sighed. "Oh, come on, Lou..." She started crawling on her bed and fell on her stomach, hugging her pillow tightly as if she had not seen her bed for the past 24 hours.

"It'll be fun. You'll be back to your bed before midnight, I promise", Lou guaranteed.

Amy groaned against the pillow, wanting to fall asleep. "Fine, I'll come." She figured Lou wouldn't leave her alone otherwise.

"Yes! Awesome, great! I'll leave you to it", Lou said, backing from the loft.

She got downstairs and saw Mitch in the barn, placing buckets on top of the oat receptacles as he was getting ready to measure something in them. Lou figured she would just quietly sneak out of the barn and ignore Mitch altogether, but the way Amy had talked about her and Mitch at the dinner bothered her. She was too proud to admit that they couldn't be civil around each other.

"You don't really have plans, do you?" she asked as she leaned against the wall, looking at Mitch's back. The man glanced over his shoulder, feeling like he had been called out. "You just don't want to come to the firework show."

Mitch turned his head back to the buckets, measuring remedic oils into them - just like Amy had taught him - for the horses that needed something natural to soothe them.

"Are you implying that I don't have a life but I'm too afraid to admit it and that I'd rather pretend that I do and keep up with the pretense while feeling lonely just because I'm too proud to admit that I'm lonely? Sure you're not just projecting?" He couldn't stop his snark.

"No", Lou shook her head, walking closer, "I'm just saying that I could see from your face that you were uncomfortable about the thought of coming to the event and that your plans were some kind of excuse to get out of it."

Mitch turned to Lou, almost amused by the way she kept butting in. While she could see his unwillingness on his face, he could see the way she just burned to get involved and find out things that were not her concern. There was something about it that both annoyed and challenged Mitch, and that had probably been part of the reason why she had driven him crazy in both good and bad while they had dated.

"Okay, so I'm interested to hear your theory", Mitch said, hoping the throw Lou off the scent she had been able to smell.

"It's me, isn't it?" Lou guessed. "You don't want to come because I'm there."

Mitch eyebrows jumped up a little. Why was he not surprised that Lou was able to bring this back to herself somehow. Though, now that he thought about it, he figured from Lou's point of view, it probably did make sense, so he entertained the thought for a while.

"But I want you to know that you don't have to feel uncomfortable around me. We can be civil about this, right? We dated - so what? We are more than just people who had romantic feelings with one another, right?" Lou talked on, and Mitch held back his grin. It was almost ridiculous how Lou was able to create all these worlds and scenarios in her head to make sense of the world around her.

"Uh-huh, uh-huh", Mitch kept nodding along. "Well, you're right about that. We are two adults who might have had something in the past, but right now... we're just... two people who know each other."

"Right", Lou confirmed as well. "I'm glad we can agree on that."

"But I have you know that it's not the reason why I wasn't interest in coming to the firework show", Mitch wanted to make it clear. "As far as I'm concerned, what we had is way in the past and it's not affecting my present."

"Oh..." Lou felt stumped. "Then... why are you not coming?"

Mitch clenched his jaw, not wanting to let Lou under his skin. "Maybe I do actually have plans. I'm allowed to have them without you knowing what I'm doing, am I not?"

"But you looked uncomfortable", Lou pointed out. "I could tell."

"Well, it's none of your business", Mitch said, turning away from Lou. She was poking his nerves. "Just drop it, Lou."

Lou felt a little sorry for Mitch. She just couldn't get over the thought that Mitch would be uncomfortable for no reason. If he had been able to spend time with the family while she had been in New York, why was it that as soon as she was in the picture, he suddenly felt like stepping back from them?

"You can just say if it's me, I'll get it."

"It's not", Mitch pressed.

"Then why don't you come then?" Lou threw him a challenge and thought she had Mitch figured out. "If it's not me, prove it. If you have a date, or whatever it is that you don't want me to know about, just bring her there. I promise, I won't make it weird. I just want us to be over this weird phase, because let's face it, even if I'm in New York, I'm not going to be able to avoid you forever; you work with my grandpa and dad, we are bound to bump into each other and I'd feel a lot better if we could just be normal about this, I'm sure you would, too."

"Okay, fine", Mitch then replied abruptly. "If that'll make you realize I'm over you, then I'll come." He looked Lou with determination, but also with something darker behind his eyes. It almost scared her a little.

"Okay... I guess I'll see you there then", Lou said, figuring this was her cue to leave. She turned around and walked out of the barn. Even if she would feel better knowing that she and Mitch could be civil around each other, right now she regretted the way she had gone about it, the way she had cornered Mitch because she had wanted to know that she was not the reason why he was uncomfortable. Sometimes her curiosity got in the way of her manners.

Lou considered going back, but figured maybe she had bothered Mitch enough for today. Maybe it was time to let the dust settle.

Inside the barn, Mitch stared at the buckets, trying to bring down his anxiety, hoping he could just breathe it out. He didn't want to give Lou this much power over him, especially because she didn't even know what she was playing with.

Maybe he could have just been honest with her, but part of him felt embarrassed and other part of him felt hurt by Lou and that part didn't want to give her any more than he already had.

Hopefully, everything would go well tonight and maybe he'd be able to see that he was more okay than he thought himself to be.


	27. Chapter 27

Jack, Lisa, Amy, Georgie and Katie were standing closely together near the town square of Hudson later that day as they waited for the firework show to begin. Lou was inside Maggie's, picking something warm to drink for them all before the family would get the enjoy the explosions in the sky. A lot of the people from Hudson and other towns nearby had gathered to enjoy the New Year's Eve show with their neighbors, and the overall atmosphere was joyous.

"Oh my god... Wyatt's there", Georgie whispered to Amy as they were standing side by side. Amy glanced at the young boy's direction as he was looking at them. "I think he's looking at me."

"He's been staring at you for the last five minutes, but I'm glad you finally noticed", Amy commented with a friendly smile, feeling a little amused about the way Georgie behaved around her former crush.

There was something sweet and innocent about it, and in a way Amy missed that herself. She recalled going through something like that herself too, but it felt like that had been ages ago and the reality of a broken marriage was all she could remember now.

"What?!" Georgie exclaimed quietly, blushing a little. "Why didn't you say anything? I could have hided!" She was trying to turn away from Wyatt, as if that would somehow make her invisible.

"Because I didn't know it was such a big deal", Amy commented, looking at her niece. She knew Georgie had broke up with Wyatt before she had left to New York, but she wasn't up to date about the details. Maybe long distance relationship just wasn't what Georgie wanted - and Amy couldn't blame her for that. "Maybe smile him a little or at least wave, so it might not be as awkward as it is now."

When Georgie moved her eyes toward Wyatt's direction and tried to think of the next move, Lou returned from Maggie's and started handing her family their warm beverages.

"Okay, green tea for you guys", Lou said as she reached out and gave Jack and Lisa their take-away cups from the holder. They thanked her as they took a hold of their teas. "Hot chocolate for the girls", Georgie and Katie accepted their drinks, "and coffee for us", Lou continued, giving Amy the coffee she had promised.

Katie was happy to get her coco, but at the same time she was eager to see the show. "Mommy, how much longer? I'm cold..."

"Not too long now", Lou said after checking her watch. "Oh, and be careful with the hot chocolate, honey, it's quite hot", she instructed her younger daughter. She took a sip of her own coffee and as she let the taste melt on her tongue, her eyes kept looking for something.

Amy couldn't help but notice her as Lou was so animated.

"Waiting for someone...?"

Lou was a little startled and then somewhat embarrassed that someone had caught her red-handed. "Oh... It's Mitch. I invited him, too."

"Oh..." Amy was surprised to hear that.

For a moment she wasn't sure why it was weird to hear Lou mention his name, because it wasn't like it was something new. The more she thought about it, Amy figured maybe it was because she herself had gotten closer with him lately and almost considered him a friend first and foremost instead of Lou's ex.

Now that Lou had said his name, it was like she was back to looking at him through her sister's eyes - and it wasn't necessarily a good thing because Amy had enjoyed seeing Mitch as Mitch and not the version Lou had painted him to be.

"You two... back together, or something...?" Amy then asked casually, but keeping it quiet so no one else could hear.

From her talks with Mitch, she had gotten the impression that he was not going to give Lou any more chances and that he was done trying to make the relationship work. If Lou had been able to change his mind somehow, Amy had to admit she was kind of disappointed. It was like Mitch and her had formed this bond of not taking anyone's crap anymore and it would be sad to see him go back to Lou if she would keep on treating him the way she always had. Part of her feared that if Mitch would go back to Lou, she would somehow end up being back with Ty and feeling miserable, too.

"What? No. God, no", Lou frowned and shook her head as it was a ridiculous idea. "Pretty much the opposite, actually. We are trying to prove that we've moved on and that we can spend time together without it being weird."

Amy nodded and fiddled her cup nervously. "I see." She wasn't sure if Lou was actually thinking that or was she just trying to convince herself that it was how things were. Either way, Amy hoped this would not turn uncomfortable for her to watch as Lou had invited her to the event to relax.

"Do you happen to see him anywhere?" Lou asked for help.

Amy started looking around. She saw a lot of familiar faces from different shops and services at first, but then a tall man caught her attention. It was Mitch and he was walking around, but instead of trying to find Lou, he seemed distracted, like he was muttering something to himself. Amy found it odd, but she didn't really think about it that further and instead turned to her sister.

"There he is", Amy said, discreetly pointing to his direction.

Lou's eyes followed Amy's hand and when the man looked at their way, she smiled at him so she could invite him over.

"I'll go talk to Wyatt", Georgie's decision interrupted Amy and her attention moved away from Mitch for a while.

"Okay. Good luck", she said to her niece who began to push through the crowd so she could get to the boy. Amy could tell the girl was nervous, but at the same she felt proud of her as Georgie had decided to make the situation better regardless. That was brave of her.

When Mitch finally reached them, he looked absent. "Hey, guys."

Jack turned around when he heard a familiar voice and a big smile spread across his face. "Mitch! This is a surprise! It's good to see you."

"Thanks", Mitch replied, putting his hands on his pockets, and hunched forward, almost as if he was cold but his skin was actually pretty sweaty.

 _Maybe he had rushed here,_ Amy figured as she looked at him. _It had been a pain to get a parking spot, maybe Mitch had feared he would miss the whole thing if he had had to park pretty far away and the clock was drawing close to 9._

"I'm glad you came", Lisa said, fully embracing Mitch as part of the family even if he wasn't dating Lou anymore. Instead of smiling back at Lisa, Mitch looked around, as if he was in a hurry. It seemed odd because he was usually very sweet around Lisa.

"So how long is this going to last?" he asked.

Lou, who had not said anything to him yet, chuckled a little because of the absurdity of the situation. "You just got here and you can't wait to leave already!"

She couldn't help but feel like she really was the reason why Mitch was feeling so uncomfortable, and he was just too proud to admit it. Mitch gave her a dead glare and decided not to comment any further. He was too tired to have a rematch of the same argument they had had in the barn.

Amy wasn't sure what was going on, but she could tell Mitch wasn't acting like himself. If she had not known better, it almost looked like Mitch was having withdrawals from something but as far as she knew, he didn't have any problems with any substances and this was the first time she had ever seen him act this distracted anyway.

"You okay...?" Amy asked quietly, not wanting to bring too much attention to him if he didn't want that, but also wanting to make sure that Mitch was alright.

"Y-yeah, yeah", Mitch said, nodding and smiling weakly. "I'm okay. Thanks. Good to see you here."

Amy smiled back coyly, knowing that she probably wasn't one of those people who people expected to turn up in any kind of events or parties as she usually liked to stay home, but she had made an exception for this.

"Well, yeah... I figured since the whole family was going that I just might as well join them", Amy shared and warmed her hands with the coffee. She was still feeling a little bit tired, but the coffee was slowly kicking in.

Mitch nodded, understanding the feeling.

"Mitch, Mitch!" Katie interrupted them as soon as she realized the man had joined them. "Can you pick me up so I can see the fireworks better? GG said that he has too old shoulders..."

"Oh... I..." Mitch looked a little unsure. "I think you'll be able to see them from your level just fine. After all, they are going to be in the sky", he continued. Lou was looking at them interacting, feeling bittersweet as she saw them getting along so well but knowing that whatever hopes she had had with Mitch were now gone.

"It's starting!" Lisa announced when she saw the mayor climb to the small stage the town had built in the middle of the street. People's chatter started to die when the mayor tapped the microphone and welcomed everyone to the event.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls", he spoke, looking around. "I'm Henry Traves and I'm proud to say that I know majority of you through my position as the mayor of Hudson. It's good to see so many familiar faces here, but also ones I don't know. That means we've been able to get new friends to the town. So welcome is in order because of that reason as well. Tonight, it's my absolute privilege to welcome you all to the Hudson's New Years celebration! It's the first of its kind, but hopefully not the last. This year, as Canada is celebrating its 150th anniversary-"

"Mommy, I can't see, who is talking?" Katie asked from Lou.

"It's the mayor. Here", Lou said and handed Amy her coffee. She then picked up her daughter, so she could see the man at the stage talking.

While everyone was looking at the mayor and focused their attention on him, they were suddenly, though briefly, interrupted by few teenagers who had decided to lit a pack of firecrackers close-by. The youngsters found the whole thing hilarious where as majority of the crowd voiced their annoyance about the disturbance. The people went back to focusing on Mr. Mayor soon after, but Mitch didn't feel like joining them. Instead, he started rushing somewhere to calm himself down.

Amy noticed him taking off and looked after him, then glancing at Lou, wondering what that had been about. "You think he's okay...?"

Lou shrugged lightly, then putting Katie down.

"Even if he wasn't, he wouldn't tell", Lou replied, knowing from experience. Maybe this whole thing had been too much for Mitch after all, maybe he wasn't ready to be around her and couldn't admit it.

"You think we should still go and check if he's okay?" Amy asked because as soon as she had seen Mitch, she could tell that something was off with him and it was hard to shake the concern.

"I'm sure he's fine", Lou took back her coffee from Amy. "I think he just wanted to show up just so he could say that he did", she added, scoffing a little.

As the firework show began, everyone's focus was on it. Everyone's except Amy's. She bit her lip and looked at Maggie's as Mitch had wandered behind the diner, hoping that he would just reappear and say that there was no reason to worry. But when he didn't come back, Amy decided to follow her instinct.

She pushed through the crowd and walked toward Maggie's with determination. A part of her wondered why was this even her concern, but other part didn't want Mitch to feel alone, especially if something was in fact going on.

When Amy reached the back of the building, she looked around. At first she didn't see anyone and wondered if she should just leave it like Lou had said, but when she turned back, Amy noticed cowboy boots peeking behind a dumpster. They looked like they could belong to Mitch.

Amy approach the dumpster slowly, listening and watching who was sat behind. When it was clear it was Mitch, Amy was almost shocked about how Mitch appeared. He had never seen the man looking so frail and gasping for air like this. Something was definitely wrong

"Mitch...?" Amy tried, slowly getting closer. "It's okay, it's just me, Amy. Do you want me to call help?"

Mitch was startled, but couldn't really say anything. His eyes locked on Amy's and he looked desperate, but also extremely scared. Amy felt helpless.

"I'm calling an ambulance-" she then decided, her hand going for her pocket already, but Mitch raised his arm up as if to stop her.

"N-o... plea-se, don-t..." he said, wheezing, out of breath. "No, pl-ease... D-on't."

Amy stopped and weighted if she wanted to listen to Mitch or not. He looked very distressed, and her instinct was telling her to get help, but Mitch's eyes plead for something else. Eventually, Amy decided to respect Mitch's wish and put the phone back to her pocket.

"Okay... I won't call", she said to him and it seemed to calm him down a little bit. He grabbed his cowboy hat and tried to use it as a fan to help him cool down, despite the cold around him, but his hands were too shaky to make it work.

"Hey, it's okay", Amy knelt in front of him, putting her coffee down and taking the hat carefully from his hand after he allowed her and tried to help. "You feeling hot...? Does this help?" She used the hat as a tool to carefully brush off the sweat from Mitch's face.

Mitch nodded clumsily, keeping his eyes on Amy. Something about her helped him to calm down. She spoke softly and didn't look like she wanted to ridicule him, so he felt like he could give in and release the anxiousness from his body.

Eventually, Mitch's breathing got better, though he still looked weak. "Than-k... yo-u", he said finally as the muscles on his neck allowed him to talk better. Now that he no longer needed to calm down, Mitch turned his eyes away and welcomed the shame.

"Are you sure you don't want me to call someone?" Amy asked again. "You looked like you were having trouble breathing. That's serious."

"No, I..." Mitch sighed. Amy kept her eyes on him, waiting patiently and worrying. "It was... a panic attack. I had... a panic attack. There's physically... nothing wrong with me", he knew and shared it with Amy. "It's all... in my head. I'm- okay."

"Oh..." Amy said, realizing that it seemed like it could be the case. Still, she was confused as to why the man had had one of those episodes to begin with. Maybe the time for those questions was later. "Feeling any better now...?" she wanted to make sure.

"Yeah... Thanks..." Mitch replied, nodding stiffly. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

Amy shook her head. "It's okay. I'm just glad you're okay... - Has this... happened to you before?" she asked carefully, even though she could pretty much guess the answer already. She herself wasn't a stranger to panic attacks either and recalling back to her first one, the way it had been hard to breath, she had thought she had been dying. No one having their first episode would refuse help because they couldn't understand what was happening. But Mitch had not asked for help, instead he had hidden.

"Yeah..." Mitch admitted, confirming Amy's guess. "But no one knows. Except you now."

They looked at each other, feeling an odd bond between them after this revelation. Amy didn't know if she should comment on it or not, so she left it hanging in the air.

"Do you want me to help you get up?" she offered.

"I think I'll sit for a while, compose myself, if that's alright", he refused gently. He was still feeling a little lightheaded.

"Yeah, of course", Amy nodded. "Do you mind if I stay with you? I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone."

Mitch was somewhat surprised by Amy's offer, but then again it made sense as Amy wasn't one to leave anyone behind.

"Yeah, that's fine", Mitch said, almost feeling a little easier by the realization that he was not going to be left alone with his anxiety.

And for a while, they just sat there, and Amy handed Mitch back his hat as they exchanged relieved smiles.

Something felt different.


	28. Chapter 28

When Mitch felt better, Amy helped him up. She worried that on top of having to go through this, he would also catch a cold from sitting on the frozen ground for too long. When asked if he wanted to go back to the other people, Mitch said he didn't feel like going back to the crowd, not only because he wanted to avoid the fireworks but also because his mind was tricking him into believing everyone would somehow know about his panic attack and would look at him different.

"Well... would you like to take a walk?" Amy suggested then since she wasn't in a hurry to get back either. She had come to the town to feel distracted and that had worked, maybe not like Lou had planned, but it had still worked.

"Are you sure...?" Mitch asked. "Don't you want to get back to your family?"

Amy looked around, wondering what to say. It wasn't that she didn't love spending time with them, but right now she felt like she was somehow different from them and she couldn't explain why.

"It's okay. Just standing there made me freeze, it would actually help me keep myself warm if I walked a little", she explained. That wasn't a lie either.

"Okay." Mitch looked around, and without saying anything, they started walking toward the street. "So... where do you want to go?"

"Maybe the park?" Amy suggested since they were heading toward it anyway. Mitch agreed by nodding. They walked in silence for a while until Amy felt like talking. "Can I ask you about the panic attack thing?"

"I guess", Mitch replied, even though the topic made him nervous. But at the same time Amy already knew what he was experiencing, so it was almost like the worst part was over; she had seen him at his weakest.

"What triggered it?" Amy asked. "You already looked nervous when you came to the town."

"It's the damn fireworks. Or the firecrackers. Anything that has to do with explosions", Mitch explained, feeling a little ashamed even though he knew this wasn't uncommon for someone with a military background. "It's not that I don't know that they are not bombs or someone's not actually shooting at me, it's that... my body and mind don't remember it at all times. Suddenly I go into this flight mode. It's really frustrating."

Amy understood that Mitch has his reasons, but at the same time she felt sorry for him. "If you knew you would be triggered, why did you come?" she asked, realizing that it explained his distraction when he had arrived.

"Because..." Mitch sighed. "It's hard to explain. Part of it was because I just wanted to show Lou that she doesn't have the control over me like she used to, and I feel like I succeeded in that part, but now I realize the execution probably didn't look as smooth as I had hoped, but... at the same time, I don't even care anymore. Mostly I just dreaded this whole thing because I wasn't sure about the fireworks, but... I guess at some point you just get tired of being scared, so you convince yourself that you can get over it. As if that's how it happens..." he explained as they crossed the street and entered the park.

"Yeah... I guess running away isn't a good option either", Amy admitted. Because Mitch had opened up to her, Amy felt like doing something in return, almost as if to let him know she wasn't judging him in any way. "There was a time when I had like a... I don't know what to call it, but these episodes after a traumatic event I went through. Well, I've gone through kind of few traumatic events, actually, but this was something that really threw me off of my rails because it affected my behavior around horses", she told her side of the story. "It took me a while to bounce back, so to speak, but I was able to get over it and move on. I think there's a possibility for you too."

She looked at Mitch. He had shown that he was resilient and if he really wanted to move on, he had the help available.

"I get what you're saying and I don't claim to know the details of your trauma", Mitch said, "but for me, it's difficult because it's not just like... a fear of loud noises or shooting or... anything like that. It's also rooted in major guilt, and I don't know if that's something I'm able to get over because it's not a simple thing."

"Well, we all do things we regret", Amy figured, "but we can't let that ruin the rest of our lives for us, can we?"

"I know, but... people are dead because of me and someone I really cared about got his and his loved ones' lives ruined because of me", Mitch said, feeling it weighting him. The panic attacks were his punishment, so maybe he deserved them, just like he deserved the guilt, too.

"Oh..." Amy suddenly felt like maybe their experiences were a lot different than she had thought. She couldn't help but feel thankful that the only one who had gotten majorly hurt in the accident that had left her blind was her, but at the same time she felt sorry for Mitch because he had a heavier weight to carry. "I'm so sorry to hear that. I don't know what happened, but I'm sure you never meant to hurt anyone."

"I didn't", Mitch admitted, looking at his feet as he walked on. "But I still did."

Amy didn't know if she should ask, but if no one knew about Mitch's situation, maybe he needed someone to talk to. "What happened...?"

"Oh, I..." Mitch groaned a little, feeling his heart rate getting crazier. "I don't know if it's something you want to spend your New Year's thinking about", he tried to avoid the subject.

"Well, if it keeps me from checking my phone for every five minutes because I keep missing Lyndy and want to know how she's doing, then I'll welcome it", Amy offered. She didn't want to demand Mitch to tell her, but she wanted to be there for him if he needed someone.

Mitch didn't say anything for a while, mostly because he didn't know if he should get started but also because he didn't know if he wanted to. It might have been years, but it was still fresh in his mind, almost as if it had happened just last week. Every day, every week he tried his best to continue to live his life even though he had this shadow hanging over his head.

"Well... as you might have guessed already, it has to do with my time in military", Mitch finally started, feeling his hands getting clammy. "I don't know if Lou has told you about this, but my cousin and I were both in the military, and on patrol within the same unit that day. Zach - my cousin - wasn't supposed to be with us as he had been pulling more than his share of time out in hostile territory, but he really wanted to pursue his suspicion of a territory where a local had told him the day before that enemy was hiding out."

Amy listened, almost having hard time imagining Mitch somewhere else, wearing camouflage and carrying a gun. It's not that she didn't think he couldn't pull it off, but whenever she looked at him, all she could see was a cowboy. Now, knowing about the panic attacks, the bigger picture of Mitch Cutty was coming clearer to her.

Things like this scared her, especially after Ty had been kidnapped and left in the desert for dead, and even though she knew both Mitch and Ty had made out of these situations alive, she felt nervous listening to Mitch's story. Even if he had made out alive, something horrible had still stayed with him. Sometimes that was worse.

"I remember Zach insisting that he could get our unit in safely to investigate because he trusted his source of information, so we went along", Mitch recalled, getting more nervous the closer to the traumatic situation he got. "As we were travelling into the town... this... uh, IED- an improvised explosive device..." He paused as he was starting to stall himself even though it wouldn't change anything. What had happened had still happened whether he articulated it or not. He had no control over it anymore.

"Hey..." Amy stopped walking and put her hand on his arm. Mitch stopped too to hear what she wanted to say. "It's okay. Just breathe for a minute."

Mitch nodded, avoiding eye contact as he could feel his eyes getting teary, and took his time to breathe in and out. Amy waited patiently beside him, not wanting to rush or pressure him in any way.

When he was calmer - even though not all the way - Mitch cleared his throat and continued.

"The IED... it exploded beside our vehicle, killing everyone in, except for me... - Zach... He wasn't in that vehicle, but he saw it happen. I'm not sure about the details of the situations that followed because I was so out of it at the time or what he went through because he never wanted to talk about it, but... I've been told that he must have thought that we were under an attack, so he opened fire and kept... spraying rounds all around until he ran out of ammo."

Mitch sighed, taking a brief pause again. He couldn't imagine how Zach must have felt in that moment, but even more than that, he couldn't imagine how he must have felt after everything that had happened.

"We both had our own guilt over Afghanistan when we got back home. I had my survival's guilt, he had his... more severe guilt", Mitch explained, glancing at Amy to see if she was listening. She looked at him with compassion, so he continued even though it scared him. "It turned out afterwards, when others in the unit were investigating the site, that there were fifteen among the dead, including a group of eight kids found in an upstairs room..."

"Oh, my god..." Amy gasped, feeling sick. She was sensitive to these kind of topics overall, but maybe even more so now that she was a mother herself. "That is... so horrible." Even the word horrible didn't cut it, but it was all she could come up with as she was so shocked.

"We were told that the enemy used kids to watch for Allied movements and convinced them to place the devices", Mitch shared, feeling horrible thinking about the children that had no one idea what they were doing but had only done what they were told. "And when Zach saw the results of his outburst, he sort of went over the edge... And no matter how hard I, Mel - his girlfriend - or army counselors tried to help, he couldn't keep him from the deep depression, so... he took his own life."

"Oh, Mitch, I'm so sorry", Amy said, even though it probably didn't make any difference. "But for what it's worth, sounds to me that none of that wasn't your fault, though."

"But I'm the one that persuaded Zach to sign up in the first place. If I'd left him well enough alone, he'd probably still be alive", Mitch said, his voice thin. "And all those other people... They died. I was there too, but I didn't. Why was I the only one who survived? I am not in any way more deserving of more time than they were."

"Who knows why things go the way they do", Amy spoke. She was none wiser about this, but didn't want Mitch to blame himself over something he had had no control over. "Death doesn't discriminate, I've seen it up close. - I... I had the same kind of feelings when my mom died. I couldn't understand why I made out alive when we had our car accident and she didn't. I still don't understand it. I know people kept saying it's just the way the truck rotated, and I get that, but... it still could have just as well been me. She was so amazing, and I felt like I couldn't possibly be worthy of her life, if that makes sense. I felt like I had to live up to her legacy, more than ever, because I had been in the car with her too, convinced her that we should save Spartan. There were times I kept thinking if maybe Grandpa thought that I was never going to amount to what my mom had been and that it was a shame that she had been the one to go where as I was just... well, me; a girl with no idea what she was doing."

"I'm sure Jack has never thought of that", Mitch assured, looking at Amy. "And... it looks like you've come a long way, even if you wouldn't have known back then what you were doing."

"Yeah", Amy admitted. "So... maybe there's a reason for that. Maybe I don't know it now, maybe I never will, but... I want to keep on living. I want to make my mom proud. I know I didn't know your cousin, but... I'm sure he and those other soldiers would have wanted the same thing for you, too. I mean, if they were in your shoes, what would you want for them?"

"That's what Mel always says too", Mitch shared, feeling like maybe other people could it see it more clearly because they weren't so trapped in the guilt. "I guess it's kind of hard to see that when your life is a mess."

"It'll get better", Amy was certain. There was still something she wanted to know, so since they were on the topic, she decided to ask. "Why haven't you told anyone about the panic attacks? I'm sure you could get help, I mean, this kind of thing must happen a lot with ex-military."

"I don't know. I guess when I'm okay, I kind of think "it's not that bad", and when it happens, I feel ashamed, so it's not exactly the greatest place to start", Mitch explained. "It's never the right time, or something."

They were then interrupted by Amy's phone. She pulled it out of her pocket and checked who had texted her. Mitch looked at her, feeling strange that it was so much easier to talk about this to Amy than it had ever been with Lou. In fact, when the topic had come up, he had completely froze and he wasn't sure if it had been because of him or her.

Meanwhile, Amy focused on her phone when she saw it was from Ty. She always got nervous when she got a message from his these days, more so now that he was with Lyndy.

"Sorry. It's just... Ty, he texted me a picture", Amy said, turning the screen so Mitch could see it too. "That's his mom with Lyndy. Grandma Lily", she explained, smiling as she saw Lily's face.

The grandmother looked so happy and proud in the picture, holding her only granddaughter. Amy felt a little better now about Ty having Lyndy in Vancouver because Lily could also get the opportunity to spend time with the little girl she adored so much.

"Adorable", Mitch commented, feeling like he was somewhat leaving the darkness behind when he was looking at something so innocent. When his eyes lingered on the picture, a notification on top of the phone appeared and revealed a message from Lou where she wanted to know where Amy was.

"Oh..." Amy turned the phone back to her, suddenly realizing the others were probably wondering where she had gone. "Lou is wondering where I am. They are leaving, it's Katie's bed time", she narrated the message to Mitch, wondering if they had to cut this short.

"I could just drive you home, if you want", Mitch offered, then realizing he wasn't even sure if Amy wanted to stay or not. "I mean, if you don't want to go yet, that is."

"Are you sure...?" Amy asked, not really looking forward to going to bed and facing the possibility of having more nightmares. "I mean, you'd have to drive me all the way to Heartland when you could just go to your trailer and be home sooner."

"Well, yeah, I could, but maybe I want to go and check up on Maverick too", Mitch said, even though his main concern was getting Amy home safely.

Amy smiled as she realized what Mitch was doing. He was trying to play it so that she wouldn't have to feel guilty about the whole driving her home thing.

"If you're sure", Amy checked one more time, narrowing her eyes.

Mitch nodded. "I'm sure."


	29. Chapter 29

Mitch drove his truck in front of the barn as quietly as he could because he didn't want to wake up anyone who might have been sleeping at the ranch house, seeing it was so late already. He had been talking with Amy at the town for a long time, simultaneously walking around the park and other quiet parts of Hudson, but when the clock had been close to midnight, they had decided to leave so they wouldn't risk Mitch getting another panic attack when most of the fireworks would be fired at the same time.

Just as Mitch turned off the engine of his truck, Amy checked the time.

"Pumpkin time", she sighed, "I guess I'll be turning into a plain old me now."

It was not just a joke on her part about the passing of the time, but also how she saw herself.

For few hours now, Amy felt like she had been able to break free somehow from what she had been these past few months. Talking to Mitch and getting her mind off of everything that had been weighting on her had felt so refreshing, but now that she was staring at the barn - her home - it was like everything came back twice as heavy.

"Oh, come on, Amy", Mitch hummed, turning to look at her. "You could never be plain."

Mitch felt more relaxed now and that he owed it all to Amy because she had been able to make him feel more comfortable and open up despite the memories and anxiousness. It took someone special to make that happen as his trauma was so deep, and that really who Amy was - someone special - not only in his case but generally speaking. The fact that she thought to herself as plain was strange. She had not been doing what she did for almost a decade now if she didn't think she wasn't any good at it, so whatever was affecting her came from outside.

Amy sighed, unbuckling her seat-belt but then just sitting there, like she didn't want to get out. Mitch waited till she was ready.

"Everything okay...?" he finally asked, somewhat worried.

"I don't know", Amy admitted. "I hate that I even feel like this because for the longest time this barn has been my safe haven, but now... I just look at it and remember all the bad things I've experienced in it. It's like it's haunted by ghosts from the past. And it's crazy, because so many good things have happened in it - more than bad things - yet all I can think about are those times I've left feeling like crap."

Mitch looked at the barn. He might have not known Amy's experiences in it, but he did know what it was like when you were haunted by ghosts, especially in your familiar surroundings.

"Yeah, I guess I kind of know what you mean..."

"But... I should let you leave", Amy said, realizing she might have used Mitch's truck to escape the loft, but it wasn't fair to him. He was probably tired after the panic attack, at least she always remembered being tired whenever she had had an episode, so he could have used the rest.

"Okay. But is it okay if I come and check on Maverick?" Mitch wanted to know. They had talked about it, but Amy could have just forgotten or thought it had been an excuse of some kind.

"Oh, yeah, sure." Amy nodded and opened the door. "Come on, then."

In a way it gave Amy a reason to step out and go check the horses, too. They were always able to calm her down, even if they were in the building she didn't feel exactly comfortable in. She tried her best to shift the focus from the location to these animals she loved so dearly.

Both Amy and Mitch stepped out of the truck and walked inside the barn. The lights were dim, and most of the horses were asleep but some were munching on hay or listening to the fireworks in the distance.

"Hey, boy", Mitch greeted his horse. The gelding had his back facing him, but when he heard Mitch's voice, he turned around and came to greet him properly. "How you're doing, buddy?"

Amy watched them from the saddle racks, smiling a little because it was always wonderful to watch the connection of a horse and their person.

"Did I heard you say that Maverick was scared of fireworks too?" she asked, making a nod to earlier when she had come back with the wheel-barrel, seen Mitch driving away with a trailer, asked Grandpa what that had been about and then been pestered by Lou about the firework show until she had crashed on her bed.

"Ah..." Mitch blushed a little, feeling embarrassed. "I might have been projecting", he admitted. "I mean, I wouldn't know if he's exactly scared of them because I usually isolate myself during New Year's and he's always with me. I guess I've somehow thought I'm protecting him too..."

Amy nodded, understanding. "Sometimes people tend to do that... They can say they are fine themselves, but then they explain how their animal is experiencing something. I've seen few cases. More often than not it's not a horse problem they are having, but a people problem, so to speak."

It made sense to Mitch, especially because he was one of those people.

"I guess it's hard for those people to face the hurt so directly. We as humans can sometimes care more about the health of an animal than our own well-being", Mitch spoke. "I should probably do something about that..."

Maybe getting caught had been some kind of sign for him to stop avoiding the trauma and face it instead. At least he felt a little less crappy now that he had talked about it with Amy.

"You should", Amy agreed, walking closer so she could give Maverick some attention too. "You deserve to be free. And I think Maverick agrees. Just like you care about him, he cares about you. I think he can sense that you are going through something. Horses are intuitive like that."

"You are pretty intuitive yourself", Mitch had noted, somewhat bringing it back to Amy's self-esteem issues, hoping he could somehow boost her up, just like she had boosted him. "You're the only one who noticed something was wrong with me and even followed me to make sure I was okay."

Amy looked at Mitch, feeling strange about the notion. It wasn't that she didn't know that she was perceptive, but it was somewhat strange to hear what Mitch's idea of her was. Often Amy didn't really think what people thought of her because it didn't really matter as long as she was able to help them. But Mitch was different; he almost wanted to made sure she knew.

"I guess I've learned that from horses", Amy figured. "They are great teachers."

"Yeah... I've come to learn that too", Mitch added, looking at Maverick. "I always thought horses were amazing, but I've come to respect them in a deeper way ever since I came here and saw you working with them. It's beautiful how they are able to speak to you, and you listen. I never know that sort of thing could exist. I feel like world needs a little bit more of that."

Amy was pleased, but also a little bit surprised to hear she had been able to touch Mitch without even realizing.

"I'm glad I've been able to open your mind to it."

"You have", Mitch confirmed, then thinking of something. "Do you think, maybe you could teach me more about the stuff you do? I don't mean the Miracle Girl stuff, I'm not here to take your place", he joked, "but I was thinking more in the line of the herbs and oils you've asked me to add to their feed. I mean, I don't mind just adding them in, but I figured it'd be better if I'd actually know why you decided to use particular ones with different horses. But, I get it if you are busy - I just figured it wouldn't hurt to ask."

"Oh... Uhm, why not", Amy promised. She was so used to her ways that she didn't often even think about what she was doing or how other people didn't see things the way she did, but she was happy to teach people to understand more about horses and horsemanship in general. "I'm not in too much of a hurry, so I can take time for that. I don't really have clients right now anyway, so..."

"Why is that, by the way?" Mitch asked out of curiosity. "Sorry, I don't mean to intrude, but... your arm is healed and you seem to be doing okay otherwise as well. If it's the workload around the barn, I can do more; I know it can feel like the work never ends and in a way it doesn't, but I can do an extra hour here and there - no problem. The whole reason why Jack hired me to work here is so you would have more time for your work."

Amy looked down, wondering what she could say, but figured since Mitch had been so open with her tonight, that she almost owed him the same honesty.

"It's not that. I guess I've been somewhat using the arm and Lyndy as an excuse", Amy admitted. "I mean, the arm thing really was a setback, I'm not denying that, and I do want to spend as much time with Lyndy as possible, but... I guess... I've just... I don't know, I guess I feel like... something's missing."

Mitch frowned a little. "What do you mean?"

"Like... my confidence, or something", Amy shrugged, fiddling the lock on Maverick's stall. "I've not been working properly for months now, but the world hasn't changed. I can't help but think do I even really matter in the bigger picture, like maybe everything I've done here at Heartland is just... meaningless."

"Why would you say that?" Mitch was genuinely stunned. "They don't call you Miracle Girl for nothing. If it was easy, everyone would do what you do, but not many can, so they come to you. I should know."

"I guess..." Amy admitted that much, but then sighed. "I don't know, I guess I've just been having hard time finding some self-worth. Like, as soon as I think that maybe I should just focus on helping a client instead of feeling sorry for myself, a voice in my head says that I'm no one special, so I go back to my cocoon, so to speak." She was clearly frustrated by the lack of direction.

"Well, do you have any idea where that voice could have come from?" Mitch asked, looking at Amy. He could imagine being in the middle of getting separated didn't exactly help with anyone's self-esteem, but maybe there was more to it.

"I'm guessing it has something to do with Ty", Amy said, "and the fights we kept having. He always made it sound like his job would come first and of course I protested, but he must have caught me at my weakest because something stuck. And then I kept thinking that if something stuck, then there must be a reason for it. That maybe I know more than I care to admit. Right?"

"I don't agree with that", Mitch replied, shaking his head. "I mean, yeah, it's natural to doubt yourself, but that's what makes you grounded because you keep yourself checked just in case there should be a cause for concern. But in your case, as far as I can see, there isn't. I feel like you know your worth, but everything else that's going on in your life is trying to latch onto the one thing you know to be your strength; your gift. That's how your mind breaks you down, piece by piece. But I hope you don't let it take that down. If anything, I would imagine that if you cherish your gift, it might help you feel better about the other things as well. Because situations have changed and maybe in a way you have too, but at least you have that constant thing that will always make you feel safe, no matter what you are going through. So focus on that. Focus on the horses."

Amy watched Mitch, but then looked at the horses around her, finally feeling her head start to nod. "You might be right. I haven't failed in trying to help horses even though I act like I have, but I do fail if I don't even try to help them."

"Exactly", Mitch agreed, smiling. "It seems to me that it's not just the horses that need you, you need the horses, too."


	30. Chapter 30

The next morning, when Amy opened her eyes, she realized she had slept through the night without having any interruptions or even recollections of any dreams or nightmares. It was a relief. She felt much more rested than she had felt for days.

That should have probably been a warning sign as she also soon realized she had slept in.

Usually, she was up at 6 am (earlier if it was her turn to look after Lyndy, a little later on weekends) and she quickly brushed her teeth and made her morning coffee before going downstairs and feeding and turning out horses.

Now it was already 9 am. At this point the horses should have been fed and turned out.

To her defense, she had went to bed later than usual, but that was because it had been New Year's and she had been with Mitch, and the coffee she had had at the firework show was probably partly to blame as well.

Amy quickly got up, grabbed one of her fleece jackets from the hook and pulled on a used pair of jeans as she stumbled over to her boots and put them on. While she hurried downstairs, Amy adjusted her hair back to a ponytail and secured it with the tie around her wrist.

Much to her surprise, the stalls were empty. She looked around and saw Mitch cleaning Harley's stall.

"Oh... You're here... Good... Should have probably realized nothing was wrong because I couldn't hear Trouble banging on the stall door, demanding food", she sighed. "I slept in and I..." Amy explained with a groggy voice and shook her head. "Must have forgot to put an alarm on last night."

"It's alright. All of the horses have been fed and they're out now", Mitch filled her in. "I got started on the stalls. There's some coffee in the barn office, but it's been on for hours now, so it's probably not very good anymore. I should probably go and switch it off", he figured, leaning on the muck fork as he took a break to speak to Amy.

"I can do that", Amy offered. "Thanks, Mitch. I'll do better tomorrow, I promise."

"Ah, don't mention it." Mitch waved his hand carelessly. "It's my job, after all. You should probably go and have something to eat, get started on your day."

"It's okay; I never eat breakfast the first thing after I've woken up", Amy said, walking toward the barn office. "But I could make us a fresh pot of coffee, if you want."

"Sure, wouldn't mind it", Mitch replied, feeling a little tired himself. "I must be getting old because staying up late doesn't suit me anymore", he continued talking to Amy while she was in the barn office. It was actually nice to have someone to talk to while doing chores.

"Yeah... I know what you mean", Amy commented back. "Though, I have to say, that I did sleep well last night - which is a relief after having problems sleeping for few nights now", she continued while simultaneously making them a new pot of coffee.

"Maybe it was a good thing you slept in then", Mitch figured, bringing the stool to the wheel-barrel. "You started your new year right."

"Oh, right. It's 2018..." Amy realized. She wasn't sure how to feel about it. Never had she thought that she would be starting a new year like this. It was unclear what the year would bring, but she already feared it a little bit as everything seemed so uncertain at this point. What would happen with her and Ty, would Lyndy be okay? How about her business? "Did you sleep okay?" she tried to focus on Mitch instead.

"I did, actually. The whole thing with the fireworks made me pretty tired", Mitch admitted and felt relieved that he could talk so openly about it.

"You feeling any better?" Amy asked as she pressed the button of the coffee maker and began to wait for a fresh pot. She walked over to Mitch.

"I do, in a way. Like, I know I'm not "cured" because I had that episode - wish it worked like that - but... Someone knowing about it..." Mitch said and stopped for a minute to talk with Amy, "it helps. And I don't mean just anyone knowing, because if that was the case, I would have just told someone about it already but-"

Mitch's voice cut off as soon as he saw Lou's profile on the barn doorway. Amy looked at Mitch and his expression, and when he turned to get back to work, she had to turn around to see what had made him have that reaction.

"Morning", Lou said, casually leaning on the doorway. "I just came to check how you were doing", she continued, briefly pointing at Amy. She had wanted to give Amy a break by taking her to the town to celebrate New Year's, but the plans had changed since the younger sister had bailed on her.

"I'm okay", Amy shrugged a little. In retrospect, yesterday had not been anything like she had thought it to be, either.

"Can we... talk?" Lou asked after a moment of hesitation. "Alone."

Amy glanced at Mitch. She had been hoping to help him with the chores, but now on top of sleeping in, Lou wanted to take her away from the work. It didn't seem fair to Mitch.

"You can go", Mitch said, almost like reading her mind. "It's okay."

"I'll be back as soon as possible", Amy assured, not wanting to make him pick up her slack. She then went outside with Lou.

It was a nice, sunny morning and it felt like the fresh air really helped Amy to wake up even before she had had her morning coffee.

"What is it?" Amy asked, cutting to the chase.

"What happened last night?" Lou asked right away. "You just... disappeared and then didn't even come back. I thought we were going as a family."

Amy arched her brow. "But... we _did_?"

"Yeah, but... like the _whole_ night. I thought that we were going to watch the show together", Lou continued, seemingly disappointed but also frustrated. "But then you just went after Mitch, and he brought you home."

"I just wanted to make sure Mitch was okay", Amy explained. Lou might have dismissed Mitch's reaction, but at least she had noticed something had been going on and should have understood - without her having to explain the secret details - that it was something that has required her attention.

"Well, was he?" Lou asked curiously, still thinking that whatever Mitch had had wasn't a big deal. "He drove you home, at least, so couldn't be too bad."

"Yeah, he was... fine", Amy said, adding "eventually" inside her head. Lou probably had no idea what Mitch was dealing with or overall how exhausting having a panic attack was, let alone keeping them as a secret when you were surrounded by a crowd.

Amy somehow felt protective of Mitch, especially because Lou's attitude toward him was lacking empathy. Maybe Lou would have felt differently if she had known about Mitch's PTSD, but it was not her place to tell Lou about it - and besides, somehow Amy felt like Lou should have had more empathy to begin with, whether she knew about Mitch's situation or not. The fact that he had been upset about something should have told Lou that this wasn't her place to be jealous over his attention or Amy's presence, whichever it was that bothered her.

"Okay, good. - Did he say anything about me?" Lou was dying to know.

Amy frowned. She wasn't sure where Lou's question was even coming from. "Why would have he said anything about you...?"

"Well, I don't know, he just seemed so... distracted", Lou explained. "You heard him; as soon as he got there, he couldn't wait to get away. I don't know, I feel like maybe he still has feelings he hasn't dealt with and it got too much for him, so he skipped."

In Lou's mind, she figured Mitch could have asked Amy's advice about it, because she was after all her sister and knew her best.

Amy tried to hold back all the comments that were going through her mind. She realized she herself had an advantage from knowing about Mitch's panic attacks, but at the same time it made her annoyed how self-centered Lou was being.

"No, he didn't say anything about you", Amy replied eventually. If Lou had been mentioned in their talks it wasn't done in a way that she would have preferred anyway, so she didn't need to know about it.

Lou looked bewildered. "But you were gone for hours. What did you even talk about then?"

"How do you know how long we were gone, anyway?" Amy asked, wondering why Lou cared so much. She herself had said she was over Mitch and they were trying to move on with their lives. It seemed like maybe she was actually the one having problems and not Mitch.

"Because I heard his truck and saw you coming in", Lou explained, and before Amy could give her a look, she figured it was best to clarify something. "My room is facing the yard, it's not like it was hard to miss", she said, leaving aside the fact that she might have not been able to sleep because she had been thinking about Amy and Mitch and what they had been doing all that time. "But you didn't answer my question."

"Because it's none of your business", Amy said back. It wasn't like Lou wanted to know what she talked about with anyone else either, so Mitch wasn't going to be an exception just because he had dated Lou in the past.

Lou laughed a little, finding Amy's seriousness a little amusing. "Oh, come on, Amy. It can't be that serious. What could you two even talk about that would be so private? I know both of you, it's not like I wouldn't know all about you."

Amy sighed, shaking her head. Lou had no idea how much she didn't actually know. "If you're done, I would like to get back to work." She turned around, totally dismissing what Lou had said as it had no value to her. Lou was being selfish, and she didn't want to get sucked in.

"Is there something going on between you two?" Lou finally shouted after Amy when she didn't stop. The question seemed somewhat ridiculous to her - I mean, her sister and her ex?! - but it had not left her alone during the night, the longer Amy and Mitch had spent time together. "If you weren't talking about me, then what did you talk about? What else do you even have in common?"

Amy stopped and turned around, slowly. "Seriously...? You're asking me what Mitch and I have common outside from you?"

"Yeah", Lou said, shrugging a little. She saw that her question was valid. "I could count the times you two have talked in the past with using one hand, and now suddenly you're spending hours and hours together."

Something about the way Mitch had cut off his sentence as soon as she had come in haunted Lou and made things even more suspicious. If Amy and Mitch had nothing to hide, why couldn't they just be normal around her?

Amy walked back to Lou because she didn't want to use a louder voice and didn't want anyone else to hear.

"I don't know why that is any of your concern", she began, "but for starters, we work together and we both work with horses. I would think that's a reason enough. But we could have other things in common too, things you might not even know about, and they could all be topics that have nothing to do with you. I mean, it isn't that far-fetched that we get along, is it? We have similar life styles and even personalities. Just because you see a conspiracy somewhere, doesn't mean there's anything there."

Lou didn't buy it. "So - what - you talked about work and horses for over three hours?"

"Maybe we did", Amy acted clueless. "Why does it bother you so much?"

"Come on - I know Mitch. He might like horses, but he's not passionate about them, not like you are. I know you can talk about horses till you're blue in the face, but... he's not like that. So there's something else going on", Lou shared her theory, but couldn't shut up about it. "I don't know, it's just curious to me that as soon as Ty's out of the picture and you two are separated, Mitch spends more time with you."

Amy had to laugh as she was so shocked about what Lou was implying. "Are you being serious right now...? You honestly think he's "courting" me...?"

"I know it sounds stupid, but doesn't mean it couldn't be true", Lou didn't like the way Amy was mocking her. Crazier things had happened. "I'm just saying you should be careful, Amy. You're in a vulnerable place right now; you might not be aware what's happening around you or who is making advances at you."

"Oh, you mean like with Ahmed?" Amy scoffed, crossing her arms. She might have not talked about the whole mess after it had happened, but it didn't mean she had forgotten about it or that it didn't still make her feel horrible and used.

Lou didn't know why Amy was so upset about her trying to protect her. That was what big sisters were for. "Well, yeah...? I mean, I was right, wasn't I?"

"Did you ever think that maybe it wasn't my fault that he kissed me, that maybe I didn't lead him on?" Amy wanted to know.

"Well, he kissed you, you must have done something", Lou said, not understanding why this was even relevant now. "And the gifts and everything else. He had a reason to think you were interested-"

"Like you were in Richard Chenoweth, the guy Peter used to have business with?" Amy pointed out the flaw in Lou's reasoning. "Or what about Caleb? Did you lead him on too before your kiss?"

"He kissed me, I didn't kiss him!" Lou wanted to make it clear, even though she wasn't sure how Amy even knew about it as it was not something she had told to anyone.

" _Exactly!_ " Amy exclaimed.

Lou sighed. "What do you get angry at me for? I'm just trying to make you see that not every guy is as nice as you might think them to be-"

"Maybe so, but how is that my fault? It's their decision to make those moves and the only responsibility I have is for myself by setting a line. And I did, but Ahmed refused to see it", Amy said back, still not believing she had to explain this to someone who had been through it, too. She could feel a headache coming in. "Do you remember when that thing with Richard Chenoweth happened, how used you felt and how scared you were about the whole thing?"

"Well, yeah, but that's different to what happened with Ahmed-"

" _How?_ How is that different? Do you have any idea how vulnerable I was when I went to Europe and then the whole mess happened? And when I came back, my own sister was accusing me of leading him on. How would you have felt if I had told you that it was your fault that sleazy guy had made a move on you? You should have taken my word over some guy's you didn't even know! Just because you saw one video, doesn't mean you know what happened outside of it."

"I..." Lou didn't know what to say. "I don't know why this is relevant, Amy."

Amy admitted that she had gotten sidetracked, but it still somewhat tied to this.

"It's relevant because just because you think something is going on, doesn't mean it's true. I am going through something very difficult - something you should know about too - but you're making this all about yourself. If you're not here to support me because I'm going through a hard time, then you should stay out of my business", Amy said, having the last word and turning around so she could get back to work.


	31. Chapter 31

Mitch heard the sound of Amy's boots before he could even see her come back to the barn. Her steps were so cogent that it was almost as if they demanded his attention. The man walked closer to the bars so he could peek through them, and sure enough, Amy's whole body language had changed since she had left the barn. She now seemed tense and frustrated.

Amy tried to get to work without saying anything, but Mitch had stopped what he was doing, wondering if he should ask what was going on. Something had obviously happened with Lou, but because Lou was involved, Mitch wasn't sure if he wanted to know. Still, his concern for Amy took over.

"Everything okay...?" he asked as casually as he could.

"Yeah. I just want to get to work before something else comes and interrupts me", Amy said. Her tone was exhausted, but at the same time it seemed like it wasn't because of the chores but for other reasons. Mitch decided to let her work.

"May I at least interrupt you a little with that coffee you made?" Mitch suggested. "I think it should be ready by now. I could get us some, so you don't have to stop what you're doing. I'm done with Harley's stall anyway and could use a break."

"Yeah, sure - and that's not a bad interruption. I feel like I need some fuel in my tank anyway", Amy replied, hoping to get energy from somewhere else than from her frustrations with Lou.

Mitch left to get them the coffee from the barn office. He grabbed couple of mugs from the table and poured them full of freshly made java. He then realized he didn't know Amy's preferences.

"Do you use milk or sugar in your coffee?" Mitch stepped closer to the doorway, so Amy could hear him.

"Black will do today. Thanks", Amy replied between shoveling.

Mitch soon returned to her and handed her the cup.

"Just remembered... I've been noticing that Harley's gotten kind of slow with his eating. And just now, when I was cleaning his stall, I realized he had been dropping these... hay balls on the ground. I'm thinking there's something going on with him", he shared with Amy.

Amy took a sip from her coffee and thought about it. Harley had always had a good appetite and no problems with his eating, so it sounded like there could be a problem.

"Could be something to do with his mouth. I should call Scott and ask him over so he can check", Amy decided, making a mental note to do that after the chore. "Thank you for being so observant."

"Of course", Mitch said with the hint of a smile. "I feel like I'm kind of starting to get to know the horses more so I start to notice if something's wrong with them."

Amy nodded, putting her cup aside so she could continue working. As she cleaned the stall from the stool, Amy got into thinking.

"I know it's only the first day of the year, but... you've been a great help to me over the winter. With Georgie gone, and so many horses to look after, I can't help but worry about the future already. I know you have your business with my dad and Grandpa, so I suspect you'll be busy during summer. But I'd appreciate it if you'd give me a heads-up way before you're thinking of cutting the hours, so I can find a ranch hand to help me around."

"Of course. Won't be for a while, though, so don't worry about it too much, okay?" Mitch said. "I know you have a lot on your plate now. Besides, if you can't find a replacement, I don't mind helping out every now and then, whenever that's possible. Once I get to work, things kind of start rolling, so... it's not too bad here."

"Thanks, Mitch."

"Yeah, no problem", Mitch said, sipping his coffee.

Later that day, Scott paid a visit to the ranch as per Amy's request. He had come to check on Harley and his mouth, and the horse was now tied between the stalls as the vet was examining him with a mirror and a light. Amy stood on the side, looking over the process.

"Yeah, looks like you are dealing with diastema", Scott gave his analysis as he was taking a closer look. "Explains why he's been dropping those hay balls and slowed down his eating. There's food stuck between his teeth and it's making him not want to chew."

Amy sighed. "How bad is it?" she asked. She knew that in some cases diastemas could become really tricky and painful to the horse.

"Well, based on this superficial examination, I've seen worse", Scott replied, wrapping up his equipment. "You could start by cleaning his teeth regularly, it might help with the situation and the gap might close. If that doesn't work, we might need to widen the gap so the food no longer gets stuck."

"Okay, I'll definitely try the cleaning", Amy said, looking at Harley and coming closer to give him some attention. "Good boy... You did good."

Scott closed his vet kit and removed his gloves. "How's things with you?"

Amy looked at Scott, shrugging a little. She really didn't know what to answer to that question. Other moments were better, others were a struggle. "It's been a ride", she finally put it into words. "What about you? How's the clinic?"

"Busy", Scott said. "I don't mind the work, it's just when there's too much to do, it gets overwhelming. I want to make sure I'm doing the best job that I can instead of rushing from one patient to another. - I made Cassandra a partner", he revealed eventually, wondering if that was somewhat sensitive topic, but at the same time Amy had asked about his business and making Cassandra a partner had been a business decision.

This was news to Amy. "Oh - you did?"

"Yeah. With all the work load she's been pulling, she deserves it. She's proved to me that she's committed", Scott said, somewhat regretting he had not done that sooner, but at the same time knowing the time had not been right for that until of late. Now it had made total sense. "I have to hire more help, though. But when am I gonna find any time to interview any people, though?" he hummed a little with a smile.

"At least you have Cass to help you", Amy pointed out.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do", Scott nodded thoughtfully. "What is Ty up to these days?"

"He's..." Amy sighed, trying to think how to summarize his situation, "he's working in Vancouver with Vets Without Borders. Right now he has Lyndy with him; they are spending the New Year's at Lily's. He seems to be loving it."

Scott nodded. There was a silent understanding of the shared situation in the barn as Amy and Scott looked at each other without saying a word. Both of them had gotten burned.

"I don't know if I should apologize for what I did back when you came to the clinic looking for answers", Scott finally admitted. It had been bugging him ever since. "I mean, seeing how you guys ended up..." He felt guilty.

"No, it wasn't your fault." Amy shook her head. "If anything, you helped me to see the truth that had been in front of me, that I had been excluded from. What happened with me and Ty, it's not your fault. He wanted what he wanted, and I feel like there was no turning his head. And yeah, it hasn't been easy to cope with that, but at the same time, at least you were being honest with me; that's what I wanted and deserved, and that's what you gave me. I could have pretended that what you told me wasn't true, just like I had pretended to be okay during all those months he was gone, but I could no longer deny that things weren't working out with me and Ty overall; not for his sake, not for my sake, and definitely not for Lyndy's. I had to see the truth to save myself from more hurt. So... while it might sound twisted and weird, all I feel for you is gratitude. You made me realize that I could no longer go on like I had."

"Okay", Scott was relieved to hear that, even though he felt sorry for Amy. "I'm glad things worked out for him. I really am. He's a good vet. I just wish things would have gone down differently. But I'm done letting anger and bitterness consume me. I used to do that and it almost got me killed", he added, nodding back to his youth when he had been abusing alcohol and drugs and had ended up at Heartland. "Your mom taught me to move pass that. I know it might be hard for you to do right now because the whole situation was unfair to you, but I just wanted to share some of your mother's wisdom with you, in case it might help you. I remember she used to face a lot of struggles too after your dad was kicked out, but she continued on and was able to help others. And the best thing is, she still does, even though she's gone."

"Thanks, Scott", Amy smiled a little, feeling a sting on her chest from the missing, but at the same time somehow feeling her mother closer. "Thanks for coming to see Harley, even with your busy schedule."

"Of course", Scott said, picking his vet kit. "Keep me posted about his situation."

"I will, thanks", Amy promised as Scott left the barn.

When the man was gone, Amy looked at the horse. She loved Harley and in no way blamed him for the situation he was in, but this just seemed another mess Ty had left behind for her to take care of.

It got her into thinking what Ty was even going to do with Harley if he was permanently thinking of living in Vancouver. As of late, Ty had barely had time for the horse anyway, but now he had even less. It didn't seem fair to Harley that he had been left behind that way - Amy almost felt like she and Harley were in the same boat in that sense. She, along with Mitch and Grandpa, of course tried to exercise Harley as much as they could and take care all of his other needs as well, but every horse needed their person who gave them that special attention and shared a bond while they were working together and having fun. Harley no longer had that.

Amy promised to herself to look after Harley, but this was something she needed to discuss with Ty once he would come back with Lyndy. Harley was Ty's responsibility after all, and he couldn't just abandon him when he had "better things to do".

"Come on, boy, let's get your teeth cleaned up so you can feel better", Amy said to the horse. "You deserve it."


	32. Chapter 32

The next day, when Amy was doing inventory of her herbs in the barn office, she decided this could be a good opportunity to show Mitch - since he had shown interest in it - what she did with them and how did she choose what to use on each horse.

"Mitch?" she called out, knowing the man was inside the barn as she could hear him humming something while doing a chore.

"Yeah...?" Mitch replied.

"If you're not too busy, I could show you some of the herbs and oils I use with the horses", Amy let him know. Not too long after, Mitch stepped inside the office with a curious look on his face. She glanced at him. "I'm doing an inventory right now to see if I need to add anything or if there's something I should throw away. I thought you might want to take a look."

"Yeah, sure, okay", Mitch said and walked closer, looking at the various jars, buckets and bags Amy had on the table. "Wow. That's a lot of stuff."

"Yeah... I guess it is", Amy replied, looking at them all, "but they all have different uses. I mean, you wouldn't prescribe aspirin to sleeping problems, would you?"

"Well, no", Mitch admitted and looked at the labels on the jars. "Where do you get this stuff, anyway? I don't think I've ever even heard most of these herbs. They sell them in stores?" he asked, trying to think if he had ever seen them sold anywhere.

"Well, some they do, but I get a lot of them from this old family friend, Mrs. Bell; she's a really good gardener and used to help my mom with this as well", Amy shared with Mitch. "And as of late, I've started to grow some of them myself - the ones that I can, anyway. I asked Lou if I could have a little spot from the garden, and she agreed. She knows these are kind of the basis of some of the treatments I do."

"Okay... I may just be ignorant, but I'm trying to learn here", Mitch said before he asked something, "why do you use these herbs instead of just, you know, the drugs vets prescribe?"

"I use them too, of course, but I prefer these", Amy said. "It really depends on the situation. The good thing about this kind of healing is that there are no side effects and the herbs are inexpensive. I also like that they are given orally and they do not mask any symptoms. Also, they are good for stimulating and strengthening the horse's immune system", she added.

"Sounds like you really know your stuff", Mitch was impressed. He had known Amy to be good, but the more he learned, the more he came to appreciate her abilities.

"I know a lot, but I feel like I still have a lot to learn as well", Amy said modestly. "What I don't know, I try to find from my mother's journals. She did this too and gained a lot of experience over the years."

"Ah, I see", Mitch said, pointing to a diploma on the wall he recalled seeing before. "That's hers, right?"

"Yeah, she did train herself for this even though a lot of her abilities were due to the so-called gift people say she possessed, too", Amy confirmed. "Sometimes I feel like maybe I should get some training too, even though Grandpa says I have the same gift as well. I kind of wanted to look for alternative ways to educate myself after I finished high school, but then... life kind of happened. And I was swamped with work anyway. Now, I don't know if that's in the cards for me... I have Lyndy to think about. Maybe someday."

"Or... you could make it work. If you want it, you should do it", Mitch encouraged. "I mean, your situation is ideal; you have your family around, an income, a roof over your head... It's yours for the taking."

"I don't know..." Amy said, looking down. For some reason it felt wrong to want something for herself, especially when things were still so uncertain.

Mitch noticed it and didn't want to push it too much, because in the end it was Amy's decision to make. It just seemed like for a while now, Amy's life had been put on hold and the only thing standing her way now was herself.

"Anyway..." Amy tried to get back to why she had invited Mitch over for. "Harley's having problem with his teeth, so I'm giving him this." She took one of the jars from the shelf and opened the lid. "It's Echinacea."

Mitch took a sniff. "Okay. What does it do?"

"My mom always said it was world's best known herb to aid body's natural defences", Amy said, putting some on a mortar. "I use it to protect horses from infections, for one. It's also ideal for wound healing and its properties stimulate quick tissue repair." She took a hold of the pestle and started crushing the dried roots. "I'm going to crush it a little bit, so we can put it in his feed."

"So how would I know what to use, if I were to use something?" Mitch asked like a curious student.

Amy nodded toward a black, wornout journal on the table. "Can you open that?"

Mitch flipped it open. He saw scribbles and color coded texts within lines.

"I made a sheet that has common symptoms and injuries horses have and what could be used for them", Amy explained as she continued to grind the herb. "And if you think something is suitable for that, you can check the jar too, I've written tiny instructions on them. There's also suggestions of doses to use."

"This is useful", Mitch commented, looking at the charts, then realizing he had seen this kind of behavior before. "Does this kind of systematic way of dealing things run in your family...?" he asked, knowing all about Lou's spreadsheets. Even Amy and their mom had kept journals.

"Oh no", Amy chuckled a little. "This is pretty much the only thing in my case. I tend to be more relaxed on my other approaches. I can be kind of scatterbrained sometimes, but this helps when I don't feel like looking for an answer from the journals, especially if I'm in a hurry. But my mom was worse than me, to be honest."

She could remember Lou complaining about Marion's poor organizing skills ever since she had gotten back from New York, but Amy had been more used to it and had not seen what the problem had been. Grandpa wasn't that organized either, and still things have worked out for them even without Lou there to help them - in fact, Grandpa had his own systems and they were all in his head, too. This was not to say that Lou had not been helpful after Marion's death; without her, Heartland would have probably ceased to exist, but at the time, Lou's strict approach had annoyed Amy. Now, she could see it from a different perspective.

It had, of course, been a bit challenging to jump into Marion's shoes after her passing when she had had so much silent knowledge about how to do things or where to find everything. They had not realized how much of Heartland had been in Marion's mind until she had died.

But now, Amy knew the barn like the back of her hand and the horses in it, and she had established her own way of doing things. On a scale to Lou to Marion, she was somewhere in between. When she had been younger, Marion had taken care most of the things while she had focused on riding the horses and helping out here and there. This was her way of carrying Marion's legacy but also her building her own on top of it.

"Okay, that's a relief", Mitch said. "Not that there's anything wrong about being organized, but I feel like there's a limit to it."

"Yeah, I know what you mean", Amy agreed. She guessed they both probably had the same person in mind when they thought about the word "organized".

"So - wait - could you use this stuff on humans, too?" Mitch was curious. "Would these be able to help me if I was sick?"

"Oh yeah, absolutely", Amy replied. "I mean, we kind of do already use these in some cases, but a lot of people don't even really realize it because they take them for granted. Think chamomile tea; I use chamomile with horses, but I also drink tea with it in the evenings when I want to calm myself down. It has the same effect on them as well."

"Oh yeah", Mitch realized that he had actually heard about it, but never really thought about it that much. "I guess we're not that different with horses after all."

"Yeah", Amy said, thoughtfully. "But we have better teeth", she added, grinning a little and making Mitch laugh.

* * *

 _A/N: There's going to be a little hiatus with my writings as I'll be travelling for the next two weeks. I'll get back to writing after that, so don't worry, the story's not ended even though there won't be updates for a while!_


	33. Chapter 33

When Caleb's truck drove through the Heartland gates that Friday, Amy was stood by the French balcony window of the loft. She had been checking the time since the moment she had woken up, counting down the hours and minutes till Lyndy would be back into her arms. It had only been a week, but for her it had felt like a lifetime as she was now so used to the little girl usually occupying her days.

As the truck got closer, Amy hurried downstairs and went outside so she could be there when Ty would step out of the vehicle with their daughter. Amy had gotten updates from Ty throughout the week, and even though it had helped her to see Lyndy doing so well, watching the pictures and videos had only made Amy miss her even more.

What had made this all bearable had been knowing that Lily had had an opportunity to spend time with her only grandchild because she adored the little girl immensely and barely got to see Lyndy.

"We are back", Ty announced as he stepped outside the truck and went to get Lyndy from the seat. "Mommy's here", he told Lyndy as he helped her unbuckle.

"Mommy!" Lyndy called.

"I'm here, Lyndy. Mommy's here", Amy said, coming closer and reaching out her arms so Ty could hand Lyndy to her. When she got a hold of her daughter, Amy closed her into a tight embrace. "I've missed you so much..."

Caleb and Cassandra stepped out of the truck to stretch their legs.

"How's things here?" Caleb asked, looking around. "Looks the same."

"Is pretty much the same, too", Amy said, kissing Lyndy's cheek. "How was your trip?"

"It was good. It was nice to spend the New Year's with my family", Cassandra said, making Amy realize that it was the reason why she and Caleb had went to Vancouver with Ty.

"That's good", Amy replied, understanding how important that was.

"We should probably get going, though. We're pretty exhausted after the drive and we just want to get home", Caleb explained as Ty was taking his luggage and Lyndy's things from the truck. "Do you need a ride to the town?" the cowboy asked from his friend.

Ty shook his head. "No. But thanks. I have few things I need to take care of here."

"Alright." Caleb nodded, giving Cassandra a look so she knew to get in the truck. "It was good seeing you, Amy."

"You too", Amy said to both Caleb and Cassandra before they drove away.

Without saying a word, Ty and Amy began walking toward the barn. "I'll take these upstairs", the man explained, showing Lyndy's bag and leaving his stuff at the doorway.

"Okay. Lyndy and I will be waiting downstairs, so we can talk about Harley after you come back", Amy said, holding Lyndy who was looking around, trying to see all the horses.

Ty nodded. "Be right back."

When Ty was upstairs, Amy was recharging the closeness she had been yearning for for a week now. The girl seemed her happy self which made Amy feel better because she knew now that she could trust Ty with their daughter for sure. Even though she had pretty much thought of that already, it was good to get a confirmation to that, especially because she and Ty had to talk about the arrangements concerning Ty's rights to see Lyndy.

"Okay", Ty said when he got downstairs. "Did you say Harley has diastema?" he checked before walking to the horse. Amy followed him with Lyndy.

"Yeah. Scott's examined him, and Mitch and I have been trying to keep the gap as clean as possible so maybe it would help it heal", Amy explained what they had been doing for few days now. "It seems like it's working, but if it doesn't continue that way, I need to know what you want me to do with him. And just overall, what's your plan with him. He's your horse."

"What do you mean?" Ty asked, petting Harley before turning his head over his shoulder to look at Amy. "If the gap doesn't close, he should have the gap widened so the food won't get trapped. I'll pay for it, of course."

"Okay", Amy said, nodding and checking one of the things she had wanted to know off her mental list. "And overall? You're not here to exercise him. We've been doing the usual routine, but he's bored, I can tell. Mitch and I were thinking he could be used at the Dude Ranch when the business will pick up again, but would you be okay with that?"

Ty looked at the horse, feeling a little sorry for him. He knew he couldn't do as much with him as he wanted, but at the same time he didn't know if Harley would be happy with the life at the Dude Ranch - as good as that life was. He wasn't really the kind of horse that liked following other horses and repeat the same routine.

"It's just getting pretty tiring when everyone keeps dumping horses on us", Amy explained, feeling somewhat frustrated. She didn't mind looking after the horses, but trying to come up with a plan for every horse and knowing what was best for them was becoming difficult; it wasn't her job to do that. "I don't mind it as long as I know what the plan with them is. First it was Mallory; she didn't exactly leave us a plan what she wants us to do with Copper. Now Georgie's been in New York, and we have three extra horses to exercise. Jade's been helping, but they miss Georgie, just like Harley misses you. They need that one-on-one attention."

"I get it", Ty replied, sighing a little and looking at the horse, trying to think what was best for him. "Maybe I'll sell him. You're right. He's not happy like this. He needs someone who is here for him."

It somewhat shocked Amy, even though in a way it made sense. Ty was not going to be here, outside the times he would come to pick up Lyndy or drop her off, but now it was becoming even more concrete when he was thinking of selling Harley. In a way, Amy felt like Ty had more sympathy for a horse, but then again putting him up for sale was like a metaphor about what Ty was doing overall; cutting ties with everyone at Hudson and starting a new life elsewhere.

"I'll make the arrangements, you don't have to worry about it. Someone might come and see him before he gets sold, so could you do me a favor and show him then?" Ty checked. "After the tooth thing is fixed, of course."

"Y-yeah... I can do that", Amy promised, even though she felt bad for Harley. But at the same time she knew Harley deserved someone who could give him all the attention he deserved, and Amy wanted to make sure he would get a loving home.

"Thanks", Ty said. "And thank you for taking such a good care of him." If Harley had been looked by someone else, they might have not spotted the whole problem with the teeth.

"It was more Mitch's doing", Amy admitted.

"Either way. Thanks."

Amy nodded.

"Harley's not the only thing I wanted to talk to you about", she continued. "I know from my side, this first experience of you taking Lyndy to Vancouver didn't really go smoothly, so I was hoping we could somehow make some kind of arrangement for the future, so I know when you'll be picking her and dropping her off. Like maybe we could set some weeks where-"

"I don't think that's going to work with me", Ty interrupted her. "I know what you're trying to do, but with my work, I won't be having a routine like that. My work takes me outside Canada and all over Canada whenever it takes me. I was hoping you would be okay with me giving you these short notices whenever I'm available to spend time with Lyndy", he explained his side. "I know it's not ideal, but it is what it is."

Amy didn't know what to reply. She understood what Ty was saying and in a way was happy if it meant that she could spend more time with Lyndy, but at the same time she had been hoping to form some type of clear routine for them so things would have went over more smoothly, especially for Lyndy's sake.

Hearing this also made her glad that she had not followed Ty to Vancouver as a lifestyle like his couldn't have worked with her, it would have only given her a headache and misery as she preferred her routine.

"Oh... Okay, well... I guess that'll be it then", Amy said, not wanting to make this any harder than it was. "Do you know how much in advance can you let me know?"

"I'm not sure. Sorry, but I'm still kind of figuring this thing out", Ty replied. "But I will try my best to let you know as soon as I can."

Amy nodded. She knew one of their problems as a couple had been the lack of communication, but she wanted to work on that for the sake of Lyndy, so Amy tried her best to be understanding and open.

"How's it been? The job?" she then asked. It was one of the first times she had actually shown interest in Ty's new life. Maybe it was because it was something that had become so scary to her that she was having nightmares about it, so maybe if she would face it, things would get better. Kind of like Mitch had tried with the fireworks.

"It's been great actually", Ty answered. He, too, seemed surprised Amy had even asked. "We've been doing some great projects and are starting to see some of the results, so it's very rewarding."

"That's great. I'm glad it has worked out for you", Amy said, sincerely glad at least someone was getting something out of this sucky situation. "I'm still kind of having trouble understanding some of it, though", she admitted, trying to come terms with the whole thing. "Or things that went down with us. Like, how you chose that life over what we had here - or could have had."

Ty tensed up a little again. He could almost sense the fight in the air and felt like he should have known something like this was coming up as soon as Amy had asked about his job, but tried to listen to what she had to say.

"I mean, I kind of understand the whole... not wanting to be just a small town vet now", Amy gave him that much, "but I guess I just... don't understand how you dealt with it all."

Ty sighed and looked away. He had been hoping that now that they had been separated for few months, Amy could start to accept things as they were. But obviously, she was not going to.

"I guess I can see why it's so hard for you to understand", Ty admitted. "I get that you love it here and maybe you can never truly realize what this has been like for me because you've never been me."

"What do you mean...?" Amy asked.

"Well, you've always had it all. You've had this privileged life and the stars have always aligned for you. I know it's not something that I can't blame you for, I mean, you can't control where you're born into", Ty said as soon as he saw Amy frown. "Because I know that I couldn't control what I was born into. Wish I had. You don't know what it's like when people see what you've done and get excited about hiring you, but then they see that you've been on probation. A lot of doors close for you at that point and you start to believe that you're never going to get anywhere."

Amy tried to listen and keep her mind open.

"There is no prince that will come down from the sky with a helicopter, wanting to take me to Europe because I'm just so amazing in what I do. That doesn't happen to people like me. It just doesn't. But when someone says I can go to Mongolia and actually help, do what I never thought I'd get to do and then tell me they were impressed by me and say how they've been looking for exactly the kind of person I am... it kind of changes your life. You realize a door has opened up for you. Why should you turn down that opportunity because based on everything you've seen, offers like that just don't come by. They never do for people like me. So maybe that's why it's so hard for you to understand why I took this job and why I wanted to take you and Lyndy to Vancouver. Because people like you always land on their feet, but people like me... we never do. But for once, I have", Ty explained.

Amy felt like she needed to say something because Ty was making her look like a princess who had been living in some kind of ivory tower. And the mention of Ahmed made her even more angry because it just went to show that Ty had never really gotten over the things that had happened few years ago and he would, in fact, always blame her for taking that opportunity and risking ruining their relationship. She would always have to pay for it.

"You don't think I've had struggles? You know that I have. After mom died-"

"Your mom... who had a good reputation", Ty corrected. "I know you worked for this, your business, but you gotta admit, Amy, you had that advantage. Your mom had a legacy that you just had to follow. The name Fleming opens doors for you, for not only because of your mother but also because your dad used to be something. Not to mention your grandfather or grandmother. My mom... she never had anything. Neither did my dad. Or Wade. All I've known is this... crap. It's like I can never escape it. But now I can. For once in my life, a door has opened up for me. With you... Ring of Fire, Dark Horse, your trip to Europe... You don't know just how lucky you are, Amy."

Amy scoffed, shaking her head. "It's not like I just knew what to do after mom died. I had to figure out this thing on my own. And I had to help keep this ranch and family alive - I was only fifteen when it started. And it's not been easy with my dad and all these problems with our family. You just haven't seen it all or you refuse to see things from my point of view."

"You're missing the point", Ty dismissed her, shaking his head.

"No, I see your point, but I don't like the way you make me sound. I'm not just some princess-"

"You could have been, if you wanted. Just that simple fact makes us so different", Ty interrupted her. "I mean who can say that? And that is why this Vets Without Borders thing means so much to me."

Amy felt the tears in her eyes as Ty kept pounding a deeper hole in her chest. There was no way back for them anymore. This relationship had started to spiral down as soon as she had flown to Europe, and the twisted thing was that Ty himself had told him to go and now he was using that against her. Maybe he had not had any idea about the resentment it would start to fester in him, but Amy couldn't change it all now and it really wasn't her fault. But at this point, the wound the trip had slashed in their relationship had gotten so infected that it no longer could be cured.

"I know I asked you a question, but I never expected you to be so cold and mean and use all of the things that you know would hurt me against me. But, from now on, I promise you, I will no longer bring this up, and as far as we are concerned, I will share the custody of Lyndy with you and help you with Harley, but that's as far as this goes", Amy said, figuring drawing lines would maybe help her hurt less.

"Yeah, maybe it's better that way", Ty agreed, feeling a little mean, but also figuring it was the only way Amy would drop this and he would be free to move on with his life.


	34. Chapter 34

Amy wasn't sure what she was doing with this screwdriver she had found from the garage. It didn't entirely fit with the screws that had been used to install the plaque on the barn wall, but at the same time she could no longer see her name with Ty's and not remember how he had made her feel the last time he had been at Heartland.

There was no longer any chance of realizing these dreams about them working together, no longer hope that things would go like she had always thought they would. It was over between them.

Amy felt stupid for harboring any belief for that for this long and wondered if Ty had ever even believed their dream would actually come true after his graduation. Maybe he had always hoped he too would have "a prince that would have come down from the sky", just like she had had with Ahmed and his offer, someone who would turn his life upside down and make him realize who he really was. Amy figured maybe in a way Vets Without Borders had done just that to him.

Years ago, Amy would have never believed what kind of impact this snotty prince she had promised to help would make with their life. Not just professionally, but on a personal level. What Ahmed had set in motion had been something bigger than his actions; it had changed the way she and Ty had thought about themselves.

First, it had been about the once in a lifetime opportunity but also a little bit about the money. While trying to save money for a place for themselves and their wedding, Ty and Amy had faced their biggest struggle yet. It had no longer been about petty triangle dramas, but about their future together and how they would achieve it. Facing the real world had been harder than they had ever imagined and looking back, they might have not gone right about it. Amy didn't deny they had both been selfish while believing that they would be working toward a mutual goal, but something else had been boiling underneath; the realization that they were not just in this bubble, that there was a big world out there, and it was up for them to decide if they wanted to interact with it or not.

For Amy, it had helped her to realize she was completely happy living this simple life she lived now, but for Ty, a similar opportunity with Mongolia had opened his eyes for something bigger.

And now... they were here; torn apart by their personal awakenings.

"What are you doing...?" she heard Mitch's voice when he came through the barn doors and saw her next to the office door, unscrewing the plaque she had given as a gift to Ty before his graduation from vet school.

"I'm trying to remove this..." Amy explained, her voice shaky. As her concentration slipped, so did the screwdriver, and she almost slashed her skin with it. "Ouch!"

"Hey - be careful", Mitch said, walking closer and looking at Amy's hand and the tool she was holding. "Yeah, you're not going to get that thing off using that. Let me get you a proper tool."

"Thanks..." Amy said, feeling a little embarrassed. It wasn't a hidden secret that things between her and Ty were over, but she still felt a little ashamed about having this sort of meltdown about this stupid plaque. But she could not move on until it was gone from the wall. There was no dream, there was no future for her and Ty. She was going to have to think of a new plan and it could not start with this plaque hovering over her head.

"Here, try this", Mitch said after coming back and handing her a right tool for the job. "Should be quicker - and safer."

Amy took the cordless drill and handed the screwdriver to Mitch in return. She then undid the screws on the wall and let the plaque fall. Seeing the bare wall gave her sense of relief. With Ty's things gone around the loft and now this - it was like she was back at her feet.

"You okay...?" Mitch asked after a pause, wondering if he even should. It was obvious Amy was upset and this meant something major to her, but he was still worried. Earlier, Amy had confessed that she was purposely shutting herself in, isolating herself, and Mitch was beginning to worry.

"Yeah... I'll be fine. Now that this is off the wall", Amy said, not making an eye contact. "Thanks for the tool. I'll take the screwdriver back to where it belongs."

Mitch kept nodding. "Yeah, no problem. - Uh, speaking of fixing something; I hate to ask", he already made a face, "but I know Ty stopped by, so did you by any chance have a moment to talk about Harley? Do I build a stall for him at the Dude Ranch?"

"No need." Amy shook her head. "Ty's selling him. There might be interested buyers coming after his tooth has been fixed."

"Oh... Okay", Mitch replied, thinking that it probably made sense, seeing Ty was barely here. And by the looks of it, he would probably no longer come back either. "But... I guess I should get back to work. I'll see you around."

"See you", Amy said, then leaving to the garage.

When Amy was done with the plaque, she went upstairs with the piece of metal and placed it in one of the cardboard boxes she had collected Ty's things into. There were things like their wedding pictures, clothes and the painting he had given her after the plane crash. This plaque was like one of the last pieces of him reminding her of his past presence.

Sure, she was still living in the loft, but it wasn't like he had really been here that much over the last couple of years, so Amy had claimed the place as her own. And from the way Ty had talked about her spending "the rest of her life over the barn", it didn't sound like he was feeling too sad about leaving it behind.

Amy taped the boxes shut, wrote "Ty's things" over them and moved them closer to the stairway so she could have them moved to the garage tomorrow. Today's work was done and she was feeling much better for it.

But even though she was slowly letting go, the official part of this all would not come to be until later this year as after living separately for twelve months, the divorce judgment would be made by the court. Thankfully, October was less than a year away, but it was going to be a long ride for that filled with lawyers and paperwork before their divorce would become official.

Amy had thought last year to be one of her toughest yet, but maybe this year would end up topping it after all.

* * *

Couple of weeks later, when Scott was doing a check-up on Harley, Amy waited for the results at the vet clinic's waiting room. It was a bittersweet day. On one hand, she was happy if Harley was officially out of the woods with his diastema, but at the same time it was hard to know that he would be sold soon, even though she always tried to keep the horse's best interest in mind.

Once upon a time, this horse could have been hers because after Spartan had been stolen, Ty had figured Amy had needed a new horse, and that is where Harley had come in.

At the time, Amy had known he had meant well, but she had also thought of Ty to be a little insensitive with his plan to pair Harley with her. Amy knew Ty had never had a pet, let alone a horse who he had had a bond with, so she might have been a little bit too quick to judge him since he had not had any idea what it was like to have the kind of relationship she had with Spartan and how that was not just something you could replace.

And it wasn't that you just chose a horse for yourself, the horse also had to choose you.

So while Ty had done his best to take care of Harley over the years, Amy couldn't help but think that the horse might have loved Ty more than the man had loved him. Even during Ty's plane accident, Harley had been the one finding the way back to Ty, so it was evident that the horse had nothing but loyalty to give.

In a way Amy felt the same when it came to Ty. She had tried her best to support him these past few years with his quest to improve himself, but in the end, she had been dumped - just like Harley.

When the door from the examination room opened, Amy got up. She saw Scott walking back with Harley and he was smiling. That seemed like a good sign, so Amy already felt relieved before Scott even said anything.

"I did the scan on his mouth and it seems like his tooth is all fixed. Nothing to worry about with his other teeth either. Good job with cleaning it", Scott said. "I also did a quick physical exam on him like you asked and as far as I'm concerned, he's as healthy as a horse."

"I bet you use that pun a lot", Amy said with a smile and took Harley's lead from the vet.

Scott grinned. "More than I care to admit. - I'll bring you the paperwork soon, but based on my exam, he should be ready for a new home."

"Okay. Thanks, Scott. I'll load him on the trailer and I'll see you outside."

Scott nodded and went back to his office while Amy lead the horse outside and got him inside the trailer. When they were done exchanging the paperwork, Amy drove back to Heartland with Harley.

* * *

When Harley was back to his stall, Amy sat down on the barn office and started typing a bio for Harley's For Sale ad on Heartland's website. It didn't take her long and after she was done, she attached few pictures she had taken from the horse earlier this morning.

As the ad was up on the website, Amy texted Ty to let him know that Harley had been given a clean bill of health and his ad was now up on the website. She didn't know how it felt for Ty to see that ad up, but for her it was a surreal experience.

Later that night, when she had put Lyndy to bed, Amy's phone rang. It was a familiar number, but she had not really heard about the caller for years and it made her think the day was just getting weirder and weirder by the hour.

"Bryce Quinn", Amy answered her phone. "Long time, no hear."

 _"Hey. I know, right?"_ Bryce's voice said from the other end. _"How are you doing?"_

"I'm... great, thanks", she said, not wanting to get into all the details. Sharing how you were planning a divorce wasn't usually the type of thing you told your old acquaintance after not talking to them for over six years. "How about yourself?"

 _"Nothing to complain. I know it's late, but I actually wanted to call you about that ad I saw on your website. About the horse. What's his name... Harley?"_

"Yeah, Harley. Uh-huh. You interested to buy him?" Amy guessed, feeling a sense of relief if it would be Bryce who would be interested on buying him. While they had had some differentiating opinions in the past, the man had done incredible job with one of her previous rescues, Alcatraz Run, and was now doing great things with the formerly abused horse.

 _"I would be. I'm looking for new horses for my ranch, business is kind of booming, and... I don't know, something about him caught my eye. I know from experience you have great horses to re-home. Do you think I could come and check him out tomorrow?"_ Bryce suggested. _"That is, if you're not busy."_

"No. Tomorrow's fine. What time?"

 _"How about... 2 o'clock?"_ the man asked.

"2 o'clock is fine. I'll see you then."

 _"See you",_ Bryce said before hanging up.


	35. Chapter 35

The next day, Amy was outside brushing Harley while Lyndy was playing with one of her little buckets and filling it with snow not too far away. Thankfully the girl could entertain herself for days with the snow as Amy was working and she only had to glance at her way every now and then to make sure she wasn't running around and potentially getting herself hurt somehow as the yard could be slippery. But the girl was always mesmerized by the white stuff and kept shoveling it in the bucket, dumping it to the ground and repeating the same thing over and over again.

Amy remembered doing things like this with her mom too; Marion had not been too concerned about her and Lou running around horses when they had been little and they had always taken part of the ranch chores whenever they had been available. Both Lou and Amy had pretty much learned to ride before they had even learned to walk properly. Lyndy was still too little to help, but Amy was planning to include her as well when her motor skills would become better.

As Amy's hands made familiar brushing movements on Harley's coat while she was looking at Lyndy, her eyes fixated on something else as well as she saw Mitch coming from inside the ranch house and walking toward the barn. The man had been cleaning Harley's tack earlier but ran out of leather soap.

"Found any?" Amy asked when he was within hearing distance.

Mitch picked something from his pocket. "Jack had one soap inside - he had been cleaning his boots. I should get some more the next time I make a run to the town."

"Good", Amy replied. "Thanks for the help with all of this. I know it's kind of short notice, but... he only rang last night and wanted to come see Harley today."

"No need to thank me; it's my job", Mitch said with a smile. He then glanced at the little girl who was pressing the bucket against the ground. "You building a snow castle, Lyndy?" He bent his knees so they could look eye to eye. "Whatever you're doing, it's looking good. If you need someone to work with the power engineering side, I'm your guy."

Amy smiled a little as she watched them interact. Lyndy didn't say anything back, as most of what Mitch had said had flown over her head, but she always had a smile spared for the man.

"Oh, right - wasn't that what you did in Calgary last year?" Amy recalled.

"Yeah", Mitch said, getting up from Lyndy's level.

"Miss it?" Amy asked.

"Sometimes, but... nothing beats this. The nature, the horses. I love it here", Mitch said, feeling lucky to be back. He'd been miserable in endless meetings, but out here, he barely remembered how that felt. "I made a right decision by coming here."

"Good", Amy replied, knowing how it felt.

They both then turned their heads toward an incoming truck that the driver parked near the pens. Mitch figured this was the buyer Amy had been talking about, so out of curiosity, he stayed out to see what he was like.

Amy put the brushes away and went to get Lyndy now that her attention couldn't be divided with so many things at the same time. She picked her daughter up and walked closer to Bryce's truck.

The man adjusted his wheelchair out first and then positioned himself on top of it. As he slammed the truck door shut behind him, he turned to look at Amy and her daughter.

"Hey. - What is this? You've made a little clone out of yourself since the last time I saw you!" Bryce said, coming closer. "No wonder you haven't been visiting, I bet she's keeping you busy."

Amy smiled and looked at Lyndy proudly. "She does. This is Lyndy, my daughter."

"Figured as much, the resemble is uncanny", Bryce said, looking at the little blue-eyed girl Amy was holding. "Good for you, Amy. Is that why you're selling the horse? You've become busy? The bio said he's been with your family for a long time now."

"Well, no. Not exactly. He just needs a new home", Amy explained. "He's actually Ty's. You remember him?"

Bryce nodded. "Yeah, I remember. He helped me with Bandit. And I almost broke his arm when we were wrestling", he hummed.

Mitch walked closer, figuring he should introduce himself and not just stand there like some kind of weirdo. "Hey. Mitch Cutty." He extended his arm and they shook hands with Bryce.

"Hey. Bryce Quinn. Nice to meet you."

"I could take Lyndy out of your hands for a minute", Mitch suggested, figuring it was best if Amy just focused on showing Harley to the potential buyer.

"Oh, thanks", Amy said, handing the girl to the man.

"With the genes you guys have, it's no wonder this kid turned out so cute", Bryce said, assuming Mitch was Lyndy's father.

Both Amy and Mitch stared at Bryce for a second and then glanced quickly each other, realizing that for someone who didn't know them, it probably did look like they were a little family.

"Oh... He's not-" Amy tried to correct the information simultaneously with Mitch.

"Oh, I just work here. We are not... involved. Lyndy's not my kid."

"Oh..." Bryce realized his mistake. "Sorry, I just assumed. Sorry about that. Huh. - Anyway... Is that the horse I'm seeing?" he pointed to Harley and tried to move over from the awkward situation while Amy and Mitch glanced at each other again, feeling a little weird about it too.

"Yeah. That's Harley. You want to check him out?" Amy suggested.

"Absolutely. Let's do it. Can you show him in the pen?" Bryce asked.

"Sure. Let's go", Amy said, gesturing Bryce to follow her. She was fortunate for having Mitch around as he liked spending time with Lyndy and didn't mind taking her off of her hands for every now and then. Right now she needed to focus on working.

* * *

Bryce watched as Amy lunged the horse in the round pen. Harley seemed receptive and full of energy. The man followed his movements, and as far as he could see, Harley was moving his legs well - which was one of the things he was looking for in a horse.

"He has a bit of a hay belly, doesn't he?" Bryce commented. "He's been standing in the pen a lot?"

"Yeah", Amy admitted while going round in circles with the horse. "But it's not something that couldn't be fixed. The truth is, he could use a lot more exercise than what he's been used for now. And it's not that he's lazy, it's just that he hasn't gotten that much attention lately. But he craves for something more, more action, more rush. That's part of the reason why he's for sale."

"Others being...?" Bryce was curious. If he was going to buy this horse, he needed to know more about his background and possible challenges.

"Ty just hasn't had enough time for him. But Harley's a great horse, there's nothing wrong with him mentally or physically", Amy said truthfully. "I think with what you're doing, he could get the attention he deserves. He is easy to work with, he wants to please his rider."

"Hm", Bryce hummed. "And what has he been used in? Does he know anything about roping? Cattle?" He continued to learn more about the horse.

"To some degree. He's been a ranch horse, but his skills could be spruced up a bit", Amy admitted. "But I doubt it's going to be a problem. He has good cow sense. We've been having him in the cattle drives few times, and he loves it. I think he could make a great roping horse."

"Well, he looks good, he sounds good, but tell you the truth... I was hoping I could find a ready-made horse for my clinics", Bryce shared with Amy. "Like I said, I've been busy with my business and other commitments, I don't really have time to train him on top of everything."

"I can help you with that", Amy said, knowing she didn't really have any other clients right now, so she could focus on training Harley if she wanted. "Get him ready for you. He has major potential, trust me."

"Well, you did wonders with Alcatraz - though, I did help you get started", Bryce teased, making Amy smile a little, "so... why not. I like his spirit."

"You won't be disappointed", Amy promised. It wasn't something she had not done many times before, and with a horse like Harley, it would not be a problem.

"I assume your work is going to affect the price...?" Bryce had to ask about it.

"A little", Amy admitted, "but we can talk about that."

"Great. So... does that mean he's practically mine?" the man asked.

Amy nodded. "Practically."

* * *

When Amy was walking Bryce back to his truck after taking Harley inside the barn, she decided it was time to catch up with everything now that the business side was out of the way.

After seeing Alcatraz had been doing well at Bryce's ranch years ago and no longer needed her immediate attention, Amy had decided to let Bryce and Alcatraz live their life together in peace, without her hovering around. Life had gotten in the way after that, for both of them, and since Bryce had no longer needed any help with Alcatraz, there had not really been any reasons to stay in touch.

"So, business is good?" Amy asked, recalling Bryce mentioning it. She was glad Bryce had found his calling and from what she had seen, he had been great at it.

"Yeah, it's really picked up. It gets a little overwhelming sometimes, but I've managed", Bryce said. "How's Soraya, by the way? She still in London?"

"Yeah, very much so. I haven't seen her in couple of years. She came to my wedding, and we like each other's posts on social media, but that's pretty much it", Amy admitted, feeling a little bad about how little they talked these days. But both of them were busy, and it wasn't exactly uncommon that childhood friends lost touch after graduation.

"Wedding?" Bryce asked, turning his chair toward Amy when they were next to his truck. "If you're not married to that guy in the bar with your daughter, who are you married to then?"

Amy then realized it had slipped from her tongue when she had tried so hard not to bring it up, because it wasn't something she really liked getting into - especially now.

"Uh, well... separated now, actually", Amy told him. "Ty and I got married, but... we're getting divorced."

"Oh, sorry to hear about that", Bryce said, sincerely. "That sucks. And sorry about that comment earlier; I didn't want to make things awkward between you and your... ranch hand, if that was what he was."

"It's okay. We're good friends - I don't think it's going to be a problem."

Bryce felt a little relieved. "That's good."

"So... you seeing anyone?" Amy asked with a smile. She could recall Bryce being a huge flirt back in the day, and since Soraya had slipped between his fingers, she couldn't help but wonder if he had been able to find the right girl for himself.

"I got no time for that. Between me helping people learn how to rope and my group, I'm surprised I've even managed to squeeze in any time for brushing my teeth", Bruce said, sighing a little, but he still had that familiar twinkle in his eye. "But I guess that's my own fault. And don't tell anyone, but sometimes I even skip the brushing the teeth part... Come to think of it, maybe that's the reason I don't have a girlfriend", he joked, making Amy chuckle.

"Group?" She narrowed her eyes a little. "What group?" Amy asked curiously.

Bryce opened his truck's door and pulled out a flyer, then handing it to Amy.

"Support group for vets. If you remember, back when you and I first met, I wasn't handling things too well and I'm kind of embarrassed about it now, but it made me realize something needed to change. Then I was lured into this group meeting one day, and... I don't know, it was a relief to be surrounded by people who knew what it was like, what I was going through. I don't know if you noticed the last time I was here, but I was beginning to feel better, I was in a much better place mentally. And that's how I kind of got my business started, because I was finally able to actually focus on what I wanted to do with my life."

"That's amazing", Amy said, eyeing the flyer thoughtfully.

"And when the previous leader of the group moved away, I didn't want to see all that work go to waste or, worst of all, think about some ex-soldier, desperately in need for help, lost and trying to find their way out. So, I stepped in", Bryce shared.

"And how have you find that?" Amy asked, now looking back at the man.

"It's been awesome, honestly. It's kind of rare to have people understand what you've been going through without you having even articulate it properly. They just know", Bryce shared. "And we don't just talk about how sad we've been, we do other stuff too."

"Sounds great. I'm happy for you, Bryce." Amy smiled. "Can I keep this...?" she showed him the flyer.

The man nodded. "By all means. I have like million of them anyway."

"Thanks", Amy said, placing it on her back pocket. "I'll let you know how things are going with Harley."

"Alright. Can't wait!" Bryce said, genuinely excited.


	36. Chapter 36

When Amy had sent Bryce on his way, she walked to the barn where Mitch and Lyndy were playing. Since Mitch had Harley's tack laid out and his saddle hoisted on his level for the cleaning, the man had adjusted Lyndy on top of it and now gently rocked the saddle, as if she was really riding.

"What's happening here?" Amy asked, smiling when she saw the scene in front of her. Lyndy had a huge smile on her face and she held the reins on her tiny fists, flapping them excitedly, almost like giving more cues to her imaginary horse.

"Oh, you know, just learning how to be a barrel racer. No big deal", Mitch explained, a playful tone in his voice. "She's really good too. Before you know it, she'll be competing."

"She'd love that", Amy hummed, taking out her phone so she could take a picture of this whole thing. "Ever since she got on her feet, it's been almost impossible to stop her. Getting an extension from a horse... she could go even faster", she added, tilting her head a little.

"That's why we named the horse "Flash"", Mitch explained. "I'm telling ya, these two are unstoppable!"

"I can see that", Amy said, then looking at Mitch and putting her phone away. "You are really good with kids - and they seem to like you. Even Katie and Georgie. Do you have any siblings or where does it come from?"

"No, just me", Mitch explained. "Well, I had Zach, he was almost like a brother to me, but... we were the same age, so we took turns with the whole big brother - little brother thing, depending what was going on. I don't know; I guess I'm naturally playful and children tend to like that." He shrugged.

"Well, I appreciate it, and Lyndy does too, I can tell", Amy said. "Thanks for helping me with her."

"It's really not a problem", Mitch downplayed it, but was eager to know how Amy had done with the client. "So... how did it go with that guy? You knew him from before?" he asked, realizing Hudson wasn't a big place, but he had not realized Amy knew the guy personally.

"Yeah. He's sort of been my client before", Amy shared. "He had a horse he wanted to sell, but I could tell that he wasn't ready to depart from him just yet. So, I helped them re-establish their relationship and it actually helped him to create a business for himself."

"Oh, wow." Mitch was impressed. "So, not only did you help him, but you created his business, too... Pretty impressive. No wonder why he has come back."

"Well, he did most of the heavy lifting himself", Amy gave Bryce credit, even if she had helped. "And since then, we've seen few times because I re-homed one of the horses I worked with - after he had been abused - to his ranch. Now that horse is helping him with his business, too. And soon, Harley might be as well."

"Sounds good. What's his business?" Mitch was curious.

"He gives roping lessons", Amy told him.

"Roping lessons...?" Mitch checked. He seemed a little uncomfortable, not knowing how to ask more about it, seeing a man in a wheelchair wasn't what he usually pictured to be someone who knew something about roping on a horse.

Amy could tell Mitch was having hard time understanding the concept, but it was nothing knew. Not many people knew some paralyzed people could still ride, let alone rope. But Bryce was helping to break any stereotypes there was about people in wheelchair not being able to have an active life.

"He used to be a cowboy himself. Then he went to Afghanistan and lost the ability to use his legs. That's kind of why he came to me with his horse, too. He didn't think he could ride again, not to mention rope, but I was able to show him that it's still possible. And now he's helping other people with wheelchairs to get back on their horse and gain back their confidence."

"I didn't know that", Mitch admitted. "But that's amazing."

When Amy kept looking at Mitch, she could tell the whole thing about the wheelchair and roping wasn't the only thing circling on his mind.

"Actually..." she began and pulled the flyer Bryce had given her out of her back pocket. "I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but... Bryce has this group of vets who get together every now and then to talk about their experiences over the seas among other things."

She handed Mitch the flyer. The man took it and looked at it, feeling a little bit nervous.

"Maybe something to think about?" Amy suggested carefully. She realized this wasn't something people really went in for with much excitement, because all kinds of hurtful things could resurface in a group like that. But what Bryce had said echoed inside her mind and if something like this could help Mitch, she wanted to let him know the help was out there.

Mitch was a little confused. "But... I'm not in a wheelchair?"

"It's not just for people who use wheelchairs. It's for people who used to be in the army", Amy said, pointing toward a text that she had seen telling about it. "The war can do all kind of damage, both mental and physical. It's important for veterans to have someone to talk to - and sometimes not even that, just someone who can be there and who you don't have to explain things to."

"Thanks..." Mitch said. He appreciated the thought, even if going to a group scared him a little bit and he wasn't sure if he was ready to open up to anyone.

"I know I don't have a knowledge of any kind of what you've been through or what those other vets have experienced, but I know what it's like to have someone around who is just... there and who accepts that you might not want to talk about some particular thing at all times and that sometimes you just want to exist without it, you know", Amy explained, looking meaningfully at Mitch. "And it can make a big difference."

Mitch smiled a little as he was happy he had been able to help Amy even just a little by being around and being himself.

"But... that's that", Amy decided she didn't want to wallow on it, and Mitch probably didn't want either. "Can I ask you something?"

"What is it...?" Mitch asked cautiously, wondering what she was going to ask, given their previous topic.

"How good are you with driving ATV?" Amy asked with a smirk.

"I'm okay. Why...?" Mitch wondered.

"Well, I was wondering if you could help me get Harley in shape", Amy explained. "Bryce wants a roping horse. Harley's okay with someone roping on his back and chasing cattle, but he hasn't exactly experienced both of those things at the same time, at least not often, so I need to train him and get him ready for what Bryce is going to do with him."

"And you want me to drive the ATV?" Mitch guessed as much.

"Yes. But not necessarily today", Amy said, knowing Mitch had his hands full with the tack and other chores. "I'm going to see how Harley feels about the roping part first, then rope a still fake-calf, and only then are we ready to move on with the ATV. So, might take couple of days, depending how Harley will feel about the first two parts. Are you down?"

"Yeah, sure, why not", Mitch said, nodding. "I've never gotten to do all that actually, so it could be a fun experience. Let me know when you need me."

"I will", Amy said, then taking Lyndy off the saddle even though she protested a little. "I'll take Lyndy inside with Grandpa, seeing we both have our hands full here."

"Alright. I'll see you later. - Bye, Lyndy." He waved the girl goodbye and watched as Amy and Lyndy left the barn.

He then took a better look at the flyer, wondering what he was going to do with it. Maybe he could mull over the whole thing for few days - it was not like it was going to make any difference at this point. It made him feel exposed to know someone knew about his PTSD, but at the same time, he felt like he could trust Amy with that. And now, she had offered him an option to find his way out, but at the same time not expected him to say yes or pressure him. Even that helped him a little, knowing that support was there if he ever needed it.


	37. Chapter 37

After getting Harley used to the rope and then roping a still steer in the span of few days, Amy was ready to move on the next level with him. She had already noticed a big difference in the horse while she had been working with him; it seemed like at first Harley had been confused, but as soon as he had realized what Amy had wanted him to do, he had done his very best to do just that. His movements were getting more precise and his muscles were now used to the intensity of roping. And the more they chased the steer, the more Harley wanted it, too. It felt like for the longest time, the horse was having fun.

And so was Amy.

Today, it was time for them to enter a moving target into the picture, and Amy had high hopes. If this went well, they could bring in an actual, living steer, and Harley would be closer to his goal.

"Okay, so Harley should be good with the ATV, but maybe drive few laps with it at first just so he can see what you're doing", Amy suggested when it was Mitch's time to enter the riding ring with the four-wheeler.

"Alright. I'll take it slow", Mitch promised and started driving around with the ATV, getting used to the handles as it had been a while since his last drive.

Amy let Harley's reins hang loose so he could turn his head around and follow the four-wheeler and the steer jumping behind it. This way he could see they were not a threat and he didn't need to worry about them attacking him even if the combo looked and sounded a little alarming. Amy also made sure her own body was relaxed as well, so Harley could read her and realize that there was no cause for concern.

Minutes passed and when Harley eventually extended his neck down and started to look for something to eat, it was a sign that he was starting to get bored - which meant he was used to the ATV. Amy was pleased with the results.

Amy gestured Mitch closer and started to collect the reins and the rope.

"Thanks. I think he's used to it now", Amy let Mitch know when he pulled close-by. "Let's see how he feels about us going after that plastic steer. I'll make a run for it at first and then you join me, okay?"

"Yeah. Let's do it", Mitch said, feeling excited too. He drove in front and started going round the pen while Amy pressed her heels against Harley's sides, making him move.

For a while, Harley seemed a little confused about this new situation, but as soon as he recognized Amy's familiar cues, he started picking up the idea and she began roping. Amy had done well for herself during the steer head portion of this, but she had to admit that she was not the best when it came to going after a moving steer. Still, she tried her best, hoping Harley would do his part and she could focus on hers.

She knew her roping skills didn't have to be exactly perfect right away, because the whole point was to make Harley used to the roping and not her getting it right every time. Despite thinking all that, Amy still felt bad every time the rope fell on the ground and didn't land around the steer's head.

When they had been practicing for a while, Mitch slowed down the ATV to give Harley a break. Amy slowed down and steered the horse next to him, feeling a little out of breath too.

"Well, that was... a start", she said, not really happy with her own performance, but Harley on the other hand had done better job.

"You are too tense; you have to loosen your wrist", they heard Tim's voice from the side of the ring. Neither of them have noticed his arrival as they had been so focused on their work. "And you gotta trust the horse more, Amy."

"Thanks, dad, I know..." Amy said, feeling a little embarrassed. She knew she could have just asked tips from her Grandpa or her dad, they were an actual champions in this after all, but this was something she wanted to do herself, she wanted to show that she didn't just rely on the privileges she had around her, and that was why she had not told neither Jack nor Tim about this. He didn't want to prove Ty right about how easy she had it instead of just working on something she wanted.

"What are you planning to do?" Tim was curious. "You going to enter a roping competition with Harley?" It seemed like an odd combination to him which was why he had asked. If Amy needed a good roping horse, he had plenty of those to spare.

"No. Ty's selling Harley, and I'm trying to get him into shape", Amy explained, giving Harley few scratches as a reward from a good job. "He's going to someone who is going to use him as a roping horse. He's not exactly familiar with this, but I think it can be done."

"I see." Tim said, leaning against the fence. "Well, he has the potential, I can tell. A bit of a hay belly, though, but I'm sure you already know that and are working on it. He still has a long way to go, though. But it could just be you that's slowing him down."

"Thanks, dad, I think I got you on the first time; I'm terrible at this", Amy didn't appreciate her dad's take on tough love. "It's not exactly my strongest suit, I know, but I was asked to get him ready and that's what I'm trying to do. He's already made some progress." Amy was trying to show her dad that she wasn't all that bad and that she had gotten Harley this far. It was just their first try at this and things still needed work.

"If you really want him to have the authentic experience, you should bring him to my classes, I know couple of students who could give him a good run. And if not, there's always me or, as the last resort, Caleb", Tim started already planning it.

Amy was feeling like Tim was just taking over and she was swept aside just because she wasn't perfect right away.

"Thanks, dad. I appreciate you offering, but I kind of wanted to do this myself. If I would have wanted for help, I would have asked it already", Amy said, trying to remain calm and firm. It was time she didn't just go along with whatever people around her demanded of her or suggested was the best thing for her to do.

"Suit yourself. You know where to find me. I'll have to go in and talk some business with Jack", Tim said, gesturing toward the house.

"I'll keep that in mind", Amy said, but not because she was planning on caving and asking for help, but so she could remember they were being watched.

* * *

When Tim got inside, he could see Lyndy sat in her chair, eating a banana, and Jack by the window, looking outside with a cup of coffee in his hand.

"Nice to see you too", Tim said when there was no reaction from Jack as he had entered the house. Jack just grunted as a greeting. The younger man took off his hat and walked in to give his granddaughter a kiss.

"You just had to do that, didn't you?" Jack asked when Tim walked over to the coffee maker to see if there was any coffee left. He took out the empty pot and looked at Jack with disappointment.

"No coffee? You knew I was coming and you didn't make enough coffee for me?" Tim expressed his dissatisfaction. "And - do what? What have I done now?"

"Interfere, as always", Jack said, now looking at Tim. "And you can bring your own coffee if you want to drink coffee here. You already eat at my table more than I'd like and on top of that, you expect me to make you coffee too?"

Tim ignored the whole coffee part and placed the pot back, sighing and wondering what the other thing had been about. "How have I interfered?"

"With Amy's work", Jack said. "She's not taken in any clients for months now, and yes, part of it it's because she got hurt, but she's been okay now physically for months, yet something is holding her back, and I have a good theory it has something to do with Ty. I've seen this before; with Marion, after you left."

" _I_ left?" Tim echoed, chuckling a little and wondering if Jack was being serious. "You mean, when _you_ kicked me out?"

Jack waved his hand by his head, not wanting to get caught up on the details.

"I interfered because I cared", Tim explained himself, then pointing toward the window. "If you've been watching her, then you know she wasn't doing very well. If she wants to get this horse ready for a client, she has to do better than that."

"Yes, I saw that she could have used few pointers, but that's not the point. Maybe she didn't execute everything perfectly, but she was having fun. The rest will follow, I'm sure. And she wasn't doing half bad; at least she was doing what she was supposed to be doing and that's getting Harley ready for his new home", Jack replied. "So I'd rather focus on her having that attitude with her work rather than how she could improve her skills that, in the end, won't matter that much as long as Harley knows what's the deal with the roping. You know damn well yourself that just because you have a good roping horse and a bad rider, doesn't make the horse any worse. She's not hurting anyone by not being good at roping, but she's hurting herself if she doesn't continue to work. It's what she should be doing because if she doesn't... I don't even want to think about the alternative."

"Yeah, okay, I get it", Tim admitted, wanting to see her daughter happy, too. "So what's the latest about my lousy ex-son-in-law now?" he asked, already calling Ty that even if it wasn't official just yet. "He's getting rid of the horse, too? Of course he is... Just like he's getting rid of everything else in his life. But hey, Vets Without Borders, who can compete with that, am I right? Not his family, that's who", Tim said bitterly. "I knew that kid was trouble as soon as I saw him, but did no one listen to me? No."

Jack sighed. It was hardly been that black and white as Tim made it seem; whether Tim liked to admit it now or not, he too had accepted Ty into their family eventually, but now that Amy's dad felt like he had crossed them, he was as good as dead. Even Jack had once upon a time told Ty to keep his hands off of Amy, but when they had gotten married, he had been glad Ty had not listened seeing how happy he had made Amy at the time.

"I don't think it's any of our business what has happened between them - or continues to happen. Amy and Ty are both adults, they can handle this without us interfering that either", he said. Things had not exactly gone the way he had hoped either, but it was obvious Ty and Amy had began to want different things and that was why they were now heading toward a divorce.

"I'm surprised you aren't more furious with this, Jack", Tim said, evidently bothered about the topic himself. "Aren't you the one that held all that grudge against me when things fell apart with Marion? And when I came back into Amy and Lou's lives, you never let me forget what I had given up when I had let the pills and alcohol take over my life? If anything, our roles should be reversed right now, but..." he sighed before he continued, "can't believe I'm admitting this", he continued under his breath, "but thanks to you, I actually realized what an ass I had been and what I had lost by choosing something else than my family. Now with that stupid thing out of my head and post-surgery, I realize even more how fragile life is. I would have thought Ty would have figured that out too when he almost died after that idiotic trip to Mongolia, but I guess some people are just too thick in the head to understand the value of something."

"Maybe so, but things are different with Ty and Amy. Ty's not running away because he had a problem with abusing pain relief and because he was a danger to his family, he's moved out because he has a work he is passionate about", Jack tried to back up Ty a little, seeing he still felt like as if he was a son to him. He couldn't deny that he would rather have Ty here with his family, but at the same time he had followed Ty's journey and realized this was a big deal for him and he had not come to the decision lightly.

"So basically just like "General"", Tim scoffed again, pointing out that Ty was no better than Peter when it came to abandoning his family. "I don't know what it is about these so-called men in my daughters' lives, but they really don't understand just how good they have it. I guess it's their loss. Amy and Lou are better off without them."


	38. Chapter 38

When Harley had worked enough for the day, Amy walked him to the barn while Mitch took the ATV to the garage. After Tim's interruption, it had been evident that the energy that they had had at the beginning of the session had somehow vanished into thin air.

For Mitch's eyes, Amy had done well teaching Harley the ropes - literally - and Harley had been getting used to sprinting after the steer pretty fast. Still, Amy had not seemed pleased with the progress.

After he was done putting the ATV away, Mitch came to the barn where Amy had already untacked Harley and was now checking his legs after the exercise to see how they had felt about the training. A new discipline was always something one had to introduce smoothly and it was important to listen to what the horse's body was telling to the trainer.

"That was fun", Mitch began the conversation casually, wanting to hold onto that energy they had shared in the ring. "I think Harley will be a perfect fit with that client of yours."

"Yeah... He did good", Amy agreed, proud of the horse and happy to see him do something he was excited to do. It was like this was something he had been waiting to do all his life and in a way Bryce had been able to see into his soul when no one else had. That was pretty magical and something Amy loved witnessing time and time again through her job.

"And you, too", Mitch added, also wanting to see Amy's reaction to his sincere compliment. "You were great."

"Don't know about that..." Amy muttered and half smiled as she was so uncomfortable about accepting the praise. She then got up when she was done checking the legs as they seemed to have hold up just fine. Amy made a mental note to add some herbs into Harley's diet that would help his muscles recover from the new activity faster. "I mean, you heard my dad; he said I was holding Harley back. Maybe he's right, maybe I should let someone who actually knows what they are doing help Harley reach his full potential. I don't want to let Bryce down. Or Harley."

It was like the whole "holding back" thing was something she seemed to do, even though she had vowed to never do that to anyone, not even to a horse.

Mitch frowned. "You won't. Besides, even if you're not the greatest roper, you're still hell of a rider and that helps a lot. You get horses; that's why people come to you. It's your job to help Harley understand what is expected of him, not to rope perfectly. Roping perfectly would be besides the point of what Bryce asked you to do, right? When it's Harley's time to go to Bryce's ranch, he will know what to do with the rider that needs his help to do it. They will be the perfect team. That's not what you and Harley need to be."

"Yeah, I guess", Amy admitted Mitch might have have a point. She sighed. "It's just... of all the times my dad could have come here, it was that moment. I don't know... I guess I just wanted to get started without anyone judging my progress."

For a while it had felt like no day had gone by without her working miracles on horses, but now, after Tim's comment, Amy realized she had not been in the game for months and it was possible she was losing her touch. Was she even able to get it back anymore - maybe it wasn't like riding a bike. Ever since she had had to take over after Marion's death, it was all she had done - outside from few breaks. Of all those breaks, this was the longest.

"Don't think what anyone else is thinking, just focus on Harley. He's the only one you should think about", Mitch encouraged Amy. "And you know what you're doing. Give yourself some credit."

Amy nodded, looking at the horse. "Thanks, Mitch." When the man had said the words, it was as if he had been somehow able to tap into what she was trying to tell herself too, but for some reason refused to believe. Coming from someone else, it somehow sounded more believable, more honest. "I appreciate you telling me the truth, even if sometimes it's hard for me to see it - or maybe, especially then", Amy said, now looking at Mitch.

The man could see the pain behind Amy's eyes as her mind went through all the times she had been lied to or used to make someone else's situation better. It almost broke his heart a little too.

"I promise to always tell you the truth", Mitch vowed. Even though he was not aware of all the hardships Amy had went through, he could tell them from the way she chose to treat and help others that it stemmed from hurt. Yet instead of putting that hurt forward, she chose to turn it into miracles.

"Thank you. It means a lot", Amy said, her voice almost sounding like a sigh of relief. "You could make a good motivation speaker, you know", she tried to lighten the mood.

"You think? Huh..." Mitch said thoughtfully, smirking a little. "I guess that solves it then; my work here is done." He took off his working gloves and placed them on top of each other as if he was ready to toss them aside and move on.

"No", Amy said, smiling a little and taking a gentle hold on his arm to stop him even though she know he was joking. "I need you-" she said, then realizing what she was saying and coughed awkwardly. "I need your help with the ranch work."

Mitch looked at her, feeling a shift in the air. He wasn't sure it had been just a minor hiccup in Amy's words but the effect of them made him feel warm. Maybe she did really need his help with the ranch work - he knew she did - but he also felt like he was making another type of difference here as well, and Amy was not against it.

"Okay, I'll stay", Mitch said, even though he had no intention on leaving.

"Good", Amy replied, feeling relieved Mitch had not got stuck into the moment but had let it slip. It was like the pressure was off. "So, do you think you're free to help tomorrow too? Don't feel like you have to, only if you're available."

"Yeah, sure, absolutely I will help. I had fun", Mitch said, smiling. "Same time tomorrow?"

"Sounds good", Amy said, now smiling a little bit too.

Mitch wandered off to continue with the other ranch work, but kept thinking about honesty, change of pace and more importantly the flyer on his vest's pocket. Amy had been honest about the help he could benefit from where as someone else might have shied away from it, almost pretending like it was not there. It was hard to hide the anxiety that came with the PTSD sometimes and having panic attacks was even harder, but somehow someone acknowledging them - yet not judging him for it - made Mitch feel different, almost as if the monsters were somehow more real now to the world.

And on top of it all, it was like Amy saw him for what he was and didn't mind it.

He wanted to trust Amy's judgement too; she knew this Bryce guy and his history, and if she recommend the group to him based on her connection with the guy, then it couldn't be completely bad thing. The only thing that could cause him problems would be his own mind, Mitch thought. But if he was not ready to be truthful with himself about how much he needed help, then he would continue to live this secretive fake life where he was just fine, when in reality it was almost like he was walking on a mine field, waiting for another explosion to happen.

He wanted to get out, preferably safely.

* * *

When Amy was done with Harley, she went inside the ranch house to get Lyndy. Her mind was still in the barn, thinking about how she had not realized just how accustomed she had become with Mitch's presence. There was something comforting about that. It was easy being around him and like she had expressed to him earlier, she was able to breathe when he was there. She hoped he knew how much he had helped her, but maybe it needed expressing again sometime soon, because Amy didn't want to take him for granted.

Jack and Tim were in the kitchen, going through some paperwork together when Amy arrived. The baby monitor was placed on top of a pile of sheets full of numbers to make sure they wouldn't miss it if Lyndy made a peep.

"How was it?" Jack asked from Amy when she walked to the kitchen, looking for her daughter. They had had a brief chat about Harley's situation when Amy had dropped off Lyndy earlier today, but thankfully to her, Jack had not even offered any help or given her any instructions; he had only wished her good luck and said he was sure she could do it. "Did Harley get a hang of it?"

"Yeah, he was great", Amy said, feeling a little bit better already after she had had time to think about the situation and realized that Mitch was right; she couldn't let Tim's words get to her and he had probably meant no harm by trying to give him pointers. Jack nodded, pleased to hear Amy's take. "Where's Lyndy?"

"She's taking a nap in your old bedroom", Jack said, eyeing his granddaughter behind his glasses that rest on the tip of his nose. "You're free to leave her here for the time being, I'm sure you wouldn't mind having an hour to yourself."

He smiled kindly and it made Amy feel a little bit better about leaving Lyndy into Jack's care. She knew her grandfather had other things to do with his time than to babysit Lyndy, but at the same time he seemed to enjoy it and kept saying he didn't mind it - the house felt so quiet these days so a little buzz every now and then was welcomed and "kept him awake", as he said.

"Are you sure...?" Amy checked.

"Of course. It's not like she's much trouble right now", Jack even chuckled a bit since Lyndy was sleeping peacefully and he still had time to do whatever he needed to do.

"Yeah, don't worry, honey, we'll take care of her. I'm here to help Jack, if needed", Tim offered, and Jack glanced at him meaningfully. At least he was trying to make an effort to make up for his earlier miscalculation. "Besides, I don't mind spending more time with my granddaughter now that it's safer for me to do so."

After his surgery, he had had to refrain from holding the little girl as there was a risk he could have dropped her by accident. Now that he was on his way to recovery, he was able to do more things; one of them being holding his granddaughter.

Jack seemed pleased with how Tim had used his opportunity to say something and offer help that was actually needed.

"Okay, well... if you are sure", Amy checked one more time.

"Just go. Enjoy your time", Tim said, almost shooing her away with the gesture of his hand. Amy smiled a little bit and went back out. She was so baffled by what she could do with all this time because times like these were rare.

As she walked closer to the barn, Amy decided she could actually use this time to go on a much needed relaxing trail ride with Spartan.


	39. Chapter 39

In the barn office, Mitch was looking at his phone and the number on the screen. His thumb hovered over the green phone icon as he realized he was just a phone call away from a possible new beginning for himself. It was scary how much power the little electric device in his hand possessed even though it was just a tool for him to connect with Bryce.

He finally told himself to just "get it over with", pressed the green icon and placed the phone on his ear. It was not going to do him any favors to think about it too much, he just had to follow his gut with this.

Mitch could hear the phone ringing through the beats of his own heart that kept pounding in his ear as he waited.

Then Bryce answered. _"Hello?"_

"H-hey..." Mitch said but his voice was quiet, almost squeaky. He cleared his throat, feeling a little embarrassed about how the opening line had come out. "Hey. This is Mitch Cutty. I got your number from Amy. Amy Fleming."

 _"Oh - right! Weren't you the ranch hand...?"_ Bryce recalled.

"Yeah, that's me", Mitch replied, feeling a little relieved that Bryce had remembered so he wouldn't have to explain himself even more, but he was also feeling the pressure, almost as if he had some particular role to play, one that was not a discharged soldier. "Uh, she mentioned you have this group, for ex-vets."

 _"Yeah, yeah, I do",_ Bryce confirmed. The silence hung in the air, waiting for Mitch's move.

"I, uh, I'm... " he stuttered, cursing himself for not practicing what he wanted to say first before calling. Now he sounded like a blabbering mess. Thankfully Bryce listened patiently. "I was in Afghanistan", he finally said, trying to keep it simple so he could find his way out of this. "And I... Uh... I was discharged after... this... _thing_."

 _"Oh yeah?"_ Bryce let him know he was still on the other end even though Mitch felt like his explanation had gone on for forever. Bryce's voice on the other end was calm and empathetic, and Mitch tried to think that the man had probably seen and heard this type of thing before and therefore was not judging him. Hell, he was probably been there too and knew the feeling Mitch had right now. _"I didn't realize that when we met."_

"Yeah, I don't really go around telling people that. It kind of feels like... it's part of my past, but... at the same time it's not", Mitch said, feeling his voice getting thinner again as he was trying to hold back the anxious feeling in his chest.

 _"I know what you mean",_ Bryce admitted. _"It feels like a weird dream, doesn't it?"_

Mitch suddenly felt relieved. It was like they had found the same language all of a sudden. His shoulders loosened as he realized he didn't have to pretend to be strong or put up a facade.

"Yeah, yeah, it does. Sometimes I don't even know if I was really there, because - I don't know - I'm here? Or something", Mitch spoke. "And everything's normal and everyone's just living their lives and... they're not thinking about those things. The war, the guns and the bombs... the fear. It's like... a bad dream."

 _"Would you like to come and join the group next week, see how you feel about us?"_ Bryce suggested since Mitch had mentioned something about it earlier. _"We welcome any ex-vet who likes to come and participate. I don't know what Amy told you, but it's not like one of those things where you sit in a circle and share "your story"; I don't like that, so we're not doing it. I prefer to keep it more active - that helps to process things better. And it makes you feel like we are all in this together because we actually are doing something together, not just talking and sharing feelings, but sharing a whole experience, making new memories. If something comes through while we are doing an activity, then it's free to do so. By then, we'll know it's a safe environment. It's kind of like back in the army, but without all the things we hated it about it."_

"Sounds good", Mitch admitted. He didn't like being the center of attention, especially if the attention was anything like this. It was hard to deal with the trauma itself, but to be introduced to everyone through the trauma... that would only made him feel like he was the trauma, not a person. "So, what time do you get together?"

 _"On Tuesdays, 7 pm. I can send you the details with a text",_ Bryce said.

"Alright, sounds good", Mitch replied, thinking it was probably better to have it written down somewhere because his mind was spinning right now and he would most likely not recall the time and place later when he had recovered from the conversation. "Thanks. I'll see you then."

 _"See you."_

Mitch ended the phone call and grabbed a chair so he could sit down. He was feeling dizzy, but weirdly not in a bad way. It was like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. His hands trembled a little as he put the phone to his pocket and he felt himself smiling. He had done it. He had taken his first step to recovery.

After he was feeling better, Mitch wandered off to the barn without really thinking about it, because his mind was still in the phone call and his body just did automatically what it had done for thousand times before, when he almost bumped into Amy who was walking inside the barn to check up on Spartan.

"Oh-hey, wow!" Mitch exclaimed. "Sorry, I wasn't looking at where I was going."

Amy seemed a little startled too and took a step back when they were standing almost chest to chest, but smiled as soon as she realized that the situation was more awkward than alarming.

"Everything okay?" she checked as she passed Mitch and went to get Spartan's brushes. The smile tugging at the corners of Mitch's mouth indicated that seemingly things seemed alright with him, but Amy was also curious what had made him so distracted.

"Yeah, yeah. Actually... in a way they couldn't be better", Mitch admitted, but felt like he probably needed to explain a little bit more. "I called that buddy of yours, Bryce, about the group thing and I'll be seeing him next Tuesday."

"Really?" Amy smiled, surprised that her recommendation had actually been heard. She had not expected it, but of course had hoped Mitch would consider it, for his sake, but the fact that he had actually done something about it this soon was amazing. "That's great."

"Yeah, I don't know, it kind of surprised me too. But I know that the longer I will think about it, the harder it will become. I just felt like doing it now - and now that I've done it... It feels... liberating", the man described his feelings. "So... thanks for the flyer."

"I'm glad it could help you", Amy said sincerely, stepping into Spartan's stall. "I hope it's a good fit for you. I know Bryce can seem a little tough at first, but give him a chance; he'll surprise you."

"I will. I am", Mitch promised. "Anyway. I should get back to work. Lisa asked me to make throw some gravel on the ground at the Dude Ranch so the visitors won't break their legs when they come tomorrow. So, I'll see you later."

"Okay. See you", Amy said, smiling a little and then looking at Spartan, feeling twice as excited about the trail ride as Mitch's excitement was contagious. "How would you like to take a trail ride?" she talked to the horse. The black gelding turned his ears toward Amy as he listened and then lifted his head when he heard the word "trail ride" as it was familiar to him. "Yeah, you would like that, wouldn't you", she continued in good spirits and went on to prepare Spartan.


	40. Chapter 40

Amy loosened the reins and let Spartan stretch his neck after their ride. They were heading back to Heartland, both feeling mentally energized but also a little tired physically after exploring the snowy trails. Some of the paths had been covered in so much snow that it had been a hard exercise for the horse to walk ahead, but at the same time Spartan had loved the challenge.

It had been a good decision for them to take the ride and relax a little, because lately they had barely had any time together. Even Spartan seemed to appreciate the quality time.

Amy was sweaty underneath her winter clothes, but her cheeks were red from the cold and it was one of the best feelings in the world for her. She could recall her mother always saying that winter was the best time of the year, and Amy could easily understand why. Not only were there no flies, but it was so magical at the foothills. Everywhere she looked, she was met with beauty.

For Spartan's sake, Amy decided to take a shorter trail back to the ranch, one that ran through the Dude Ranch. While Spartan was excited to go out, Amy had to think what was best for his feet as the horse wasn't that young anymore and he had years ago suffered an accident that had left Amy worried about his hind leg as it was not what it used to be even though he was still able to work to some extent.

It didn't exactly seem like a bad idea for Amy either to go through Dude Ranch, because she knew Mitch was there. For some reason, thinking about him made her feel better than many other things and, oddly, gave her stomach butterflies. She wasn't sure what to think about it, but at the same time she didn't want to just ignore it either as it was such a refreshing feeling to feel happy and excited.

Amy had noticed that each morning, while she loved doing the morning chores alone and having that time with the horses without any interruptions, she had also started to look forward to the time Mitch made an appearance. They might have not talked much, as they were usually both still a little sleepy, but just being around Mitch somehow made the start of her days so much better.

She couldn't deny, that at the back of her mind, Caleb and Lou's words haunted her.

The way Caleb had thought that Mitch was just looking for "his chance to steal her from Ty", and how Lou had a theory that "Mitch just wanted to use her fragile state for his advantage" was something she couldn't apply to her relationship with the man, as for months now Mitch had been nothing but considerate and polite. And even now when Amy was starting to feel a little bit better, she had no reservations around him because if he really had wanted to do one of the things Caleb and Lou had suggested, he would have probably done them by now, and Amy would have told him to back off.

If Mitch was really looking for a weak moment to strike, he had missed his mark.

And besides, she was no one's to steal, Amy thought, especially not Ty's, even though the divorce was not yet finalized; she was her own woman, always had been and always would be. It was dehumanizing to think women were only some "trophies" men passed around.

Caleb and Lou couldn't just blindly project their own regrets onto her as the situation seemed very different. Amy couldn't help but wonder if Peter had known about it all and if that had been one of the reasons for his divorce with Lou. It seemed like for a while now, Amy had really not been up to date with whatever was going on with her sister's life and maybe it was better that way. As much as she loved her sister, Lou was sometimes a little bit of a hypocrite, and Amy wondered if she ever realized it herself or if she would ever grow out of it.

As Amy arrived to the Dude Ranch, she saw Mitch in his truck. The driver's door was open as he was trying to check his head from the rear view mirror. Amy rode closer, wondering what the man was doing. She stopped her horse close by.

"Hey", Amy greeted him, trying to push aside all the thoughts she had just had. She didn't want neither Caleb or Lou to destroy this interaction with Mitch.

The man looked around, squinting his eyes a little before the vision got clearer.

"Oh hey..." he said, realizing it was Amy, coming back from her ride. "Going home already?"

"Yeah. Think we've had enough for today", Amy said. "What about you? Did you get the gravel on the ground?" she asked, looking around, wondering if that was why he was taking a break.

"Well, almost, but ironically enough, I also slipped and hit my head. I guess Lisa really was right about this place needing the gravel - not that I doubted her in the first place. I'm glad it wasn't one of the visitors or we'd be looking at a law suit. Gotta check if I got a bump from it. At least the back of my head feels a little sore..." Mitch explained as he examined. "There's no bleeding, so that's a relief."

Amy got concerned. "You should go and see a doctor."

"It's probably - hopefully - nothing", Mitch said. "I just need to take it easy."

"Take it from someone who has hit her head multiple times in her lifetime; it's better to be safe than sorry", Amy said. She got down from Spartan and started to take off his saddle. "I'll take you to the ranch, and we'll go to the doctor's."

"Are you sure...?" Mitch checked.

"You're not going to drive there - and I need to take Spartan back", Amy said. "So, leave your truck here, and we'll come get it later. I'll leave the saddle inside it."

"Alright", Mitch said, leaving his hat behind too. He didn't feel like putting it on now. He grabbed his keys and waited till Amy put the saddle inside and they were ready to leave.

Amy walked Spartan closer to one of the cabins and got on his back from the porch so neither of them wouldn't need a leg-up. She then waited for Mitch to do the same. Amy kept a close eye on him because she could tell he was having problems with his balance and vision; getting on a horse could be challenging.

"Hold on tight and let me know if you're feeling any worse", she asked when he was on Spartan's back. Mitch was trying to find a place for his arms, trying not to make her uncomfortable. When his hands were finally enveloping her, it didn't feel bad for Amy - on the contrary, she didn't remember when was the last time someone had been this close. It was almost like an embrace, even though Amy knew it was out of necessity. "It's a good thing I decided to come this way", she continued the conversation when it was too awkward to ride in silence.

"Yeah. I might have been stupid enough to drive somewhere", Mitch admitted now that he realized it would have been a hazardous thing to do as he was starting to feel more dizzy. "Are you sure you want to take me to the hospital? Don't you hate those places?" he recalled from their visit to doctor's when Lyndy had gotten some shots.

"I do, but you need to go there. I'll feel better knowing you're going to be checked out", Amy said. "Besides, Grandpa and Dad have some business to discuss, and I know Dad only has a limited window for that, seeing he's joining Casey across the border soon, so it's easier if I take you."

"Yeah, I remember Tim saying something about that", Mitch said. "Thanks, Amy."

"Don't mention it."

* * *

As Amy waited on the waiting room while Mitch was getting checked, she noticed she wasn't feeling too nervous in the hospital. She wasn't sure if she was just getting desensitized to the surroundings or what, but somehow more than thinking about all the bad things that had happened in the hospital - and there were a lot -, Amy kept focusing on Mitch.

She knew that it was probably not too serious since he had been able to keep up with a conversation without being too disoriented and had not vomited, but she was still worried if he had been more hurt than he lead on. Amy was so used to men around her acting more tougher than they were (except in Tim's case, he always milked that shoulder pain of his whenever he got the chance) and she was getting tired of it because it usually lead to more serious conditions.

At the same time Amy was wondering why did she care so much. Was it only because Mitch was a good guy and she didn't want him to get hurt because he didn't deserve it or was there more to it?

Eventually Mitch walked out with some paper in his hand and Amy got up.

"So...?" she asked, clutching onto her winter jacket.

"Concussion", Mitch shared the diagnosis. "Not too bad, but the doctor said that I need to take it easy and rest. Sorry... looks like I won't be able to help you tomorrow with Harley."

Amy hummed. "I think that should be least of your worries. It's fine, I'll figure something out."

"Okay", Mitch said. "They also said that I have to be monitored closely in case I start feeling worse. I have a mild headache right now, dizziness and blurred vision, just so you know", he told her because she was the one in his presence right now.

"You can't go to your trailer", Amy pointed out. "You'll be alone."

"You don't think Maverick's able to supervise me until my symptoms subside?" he joked, knowing himself that it was going to be a problem as well.

"As much as I think horses are smart and capable of many things, I don't think that's one of them", Amy said, smiling a little, then thinking things through. "You could stay in the loft, if you want. Grandpa and I will be close-by."

"But... I can't just drive you out of your loft", Mitch said. "And Lyndy."

"Well... we'd be in the loft as well, if that's alright with you", Amy replied, wondering if that was too outrageous to even suggest. She was, of course, thinking what was best for Mitch, but maybe he found that strange.

Knowing from experience, she hated when people made promises for her, so Amy wasn't going to be making any promises about Mitch being able to stay with Grandpa in the ranch house. She had a perfectly good apartment that she was in charge of and willing to offer.

"Are you sure...?" Mitch checked.

Amy shrugged. "Absolutely. Why not."

"Okay, but I will owe you", Mitch said, not wanting to be any trouble.

"You could clean all the tack when you've gotten better", Amy suggested as they started walking out and she started putting on her coat. Cleaning the tack wasn't her favorite chore to do, so she was happy to give the task to Mitch as a way for him to pay back.

"You do know that it's part of my job already, right...?" Mitch said, glancing at Amy.

"Is it...?" Amy acted stupid. "Oh well. Sounds like you're getting off easy."

They shared a little chuckle together as they left the hospital.


	41. Chapter 41

Amy was sat on her bed, right next to Lyndy's cot, and reading her daughter a bedtime story. The girl had drifted off a while ago, but Amy had kept going just a little while longer to make sure she really was asleep.

 _"Goodnight room. Goodnight moon. Goodnight cow jumping over the moon. Goodnight light, and the red balloon..."_ she read out loud softly and got up, setting the book aside after closing it and making sure Lyndy's cover was keeping her warm.

A smile spread on her face as she watched her little sleeping darling. Lyndy looked like an angel with her little curls, long eyelashes and rosy mouth.

When it was clear the toddler was asleep, she walked over to the couch where Mitch was lying.

Amy was concerned about him and his well-being after he had slipped on the icy yard and hit his head. She had decided to put Mitch on the couch, though was now wondering if maybe she should have allowed him to stay on the bed while she would sleep on the couch, seeing she was feeling better than him.

"Still awake?" Amy asked because the man had been quiet for a while.

Mitch breathed out sharply, a sleepy look on his face. He blinked his eyes rapidly. "Huh... I almost fell asleep. It was so nice to listen to that story and your voice." He looked a little embarrassed, but smiled still.

Amy smiled back to him, feeling a little better after seeing he seemed to be doing alright.

"Well, maybe some sleep wouldn't be a bad thing", she said, "especially because I know I have to keep waking you up throughout the night to make sure you're alright."

"Or I could just stay awake, and you can see if I've become delirious", Mitch suggested.

Amy shook her head. "The doctor said you have to rest, right?"

"They did", Mitch confirmed. He had no trouble remembering that.

Meanwhile, something was telling Amy that Mitch was avoiding the sleep, which was why she had to ask about it. "Is everything alright...?"

"Yeah. I guess it's just the new surroundings, that's all", Mitch admitted a little shamefully. "After coming home from my last tour, sleeping has been kind of hard. At first I kept waking up in cold sweat, wondering where the hell I was. Now, living in the trailer, I'm able to come back to the reality faster because the place has become so familiar. But this place is new... so it makes me a little nervous. I don't want to make a scene."

"Oh... - Well, I will be here, making sure to remind you where you are", Amy promised to him. "And you shouldn't stress about it too much. I know - easier said than done, but you should at least try to relax a little. It might not be the same thing, but I've noticed that if I go to bed stressed, then I'm more likely to have nightmares. So... while you're awake, let's just make sure you are relaxed, okay?"

"Okay", Mitch said. Even though what Amy was saying was what he already knew, hearing someone else say it to him made Mitch want to actually follow the advice.

"Maybe you should switch on the bed", Amy suggested, glancing toward it, trying to come up ways to make Mitch feel more relaxed. "It's much more comfortable."

"Ah, it's okay", he said, "I don't mind this. I bet your bed is like a marshmallow, anyway. This couch will do, thanks. I do like a little firmer surface."

"It's not a marshmallow", Amy replied, feeling a little amused, "but... if you're sure, then it's what we'll do. - Would you like some chamomile tea to help you feel a little better?" she offered, walking to the kitchen already. If he wasn't going to have any, at least she would.

"You don't have to do it for me", Mitch said, not wanting to be a burden.

"I was going to have some myself", Amy told him.

"Then, it that case, yes, that'd be nice. Thanks." Mitch got up so he wouldn't risk on falling asleep. His head was still aching, so he rubbed his neck, trying to hold himself from touching the part of the head that had hit the ground. It was like there was a disco inside his skull.

"You're not feeling nauseous, are you?" Amy asked as she was putting on the kettle.

"No. It's just mostly the head that aches", Mitch informed and looked over the couch as Amy was going around the kitchen, taking out the tea and cups to prepare them the warm drinks. "So, I guess this is one of those moments where I get to experience the herbal remedy life myself. The magic of the Miracle Girl. Didn't think I'd get to be one of your patients", he added, smiling.

Amy recalled them talking about it when Mitch had wanted to learn more about how she treated horses and what she gave them to calm them down or boost their immune system. She smiled, thinking this was actually a good opportunity for Mitch to understand the whole thing on a new level; it wasn't just horses that benefited from that kind of knowledge, it was everyone else too - even humans.

"Neither did I", Amy admitted. "But honestly, it's kind of the same thing as it is with what I taught you. I know people like to take pills to help them feel better - and there's nothing wrong with that - but I always at least try to find a natural remedy to things if I can and see if they work."

"I guess that doesn't hurt anyone", Mitch figured.

"No, it doesn't, but at the same time I need to know when to do it. If the situation is bad or life-threatening, then of course I want to hear a doctor's or vet's opinion first. So I'm not fully invested in this thing like I know some people are", Amy admitted. "If something is seriously wrong with me or Lyndy, then I will go to hospital and see a doctor. This... The herbs, they can still be helpful, though. Like an extra or a little boost."

"Does your dislike of hospitals have anything to do with this?" Mitch was curious to know. "Meaning, the preference of herbal remedies."

"Not really", Amy said, turning around and looking at Mitch while she waited for the water to boil. "It's mostly about my mother's heritage; she used to do this and it always fascinated me. I saw the results with the horses, so I guess it just felt natural to continue that with them and then expand a little bit of that to myself as well. There's so much material available about it these days, it's become quite easy, even if she's not always here to teach me herself."

"Do you know where your mother got that from? Was your grandmother in this sort of business, or...?" Mitch was interested to know. They had never really talked about Marion Fleming with Lou, but the more Amy shared things about her, the more he was confused as to why Lou had never really shared about her mother - she sounded like an interesting woman, and Amy really seemed to appreciate her.

"No. My grandma was a musician. I think this was kind of something my mom learned from the people she met over the years. She studied this field, did clinics, met people. She already had "the gift", the intuition, but all the herb stuff, I think it was something she learned from others", Amy shared. "One of her big influences was a close friend of hers, Victor Whitetail. He was a huge help after my dad's accident."

"The rodeo thing?" Mitch checked.

Amy nodded. It sometimes took her off guard to realize that Mitch knew about stuff she had never even told him because he had already been around her family so much that things had come up through other people. But it felt easy; she didn't have to do so much explaining, and he was already very open and understanding to things, having had more time to process them.

"I don't know if there is any truth to it, but... I always wondered if maybe mom was so fascinated by the natural remedies because of dad's problems with drugs... Maybe it was her way of rebelling against what was going on with dad", Amy shared. She had never said that to anyone, but now it just seemed to roll out of her tongue. "They used to fight about that a lot, my mom and my dad, so I don't know... it's just something that I've thought about while I've been going through mom's journals."

"Journals? You have her journals?" Mitch asked. "That must be interesting."

Amy nodded, then turning around to prepare their drinks since the water was ready and boiled.

"Yeah. She wrote a lot of things about horses and how to best take care of them and understand them. The journals have been a huge help, especially when I was starting out and sometimes when I'm stuck and need to brainstorm. Now I'm more experienced myself, so I'm writing things down that mom never came across with. Like cloned horses and stuff like that..."

"Wait? Cloned horses?" Mitch checked, squinting a little. "You're kidding, right?"

"Wish I was", Amy said. She took the mugs carefully with her and walked over to Mitch and handed him the other cup. He looked at her, bewildered, and accepted the drink.

"Is this some kind of sci-fi movie or how hard did I bump my head..." he muttered, making Amy laugh. "Cloned horses..." Mitch repeated again.

"No, it's real life", she assured. "A lot of people don't know about it, though. But it'll probably be more common in the future, with the way things are going."

"Huh... Learn something new every day", Mitch thought out loud. "Here, have a seat. Please", he said after realizing Amy was just stood there. He moved over some of the pillows and made room for her before she sat down. "So, will you be handing over those journals to Lyndy when she gets older? Your mom's and yours."

"I don't know", Amy said, caressing the side of the mug as the tea was still too hot to just drink. "I don't want to presume she wants to continue with what I'm doing. I know she loves horses, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's what she wants to do for a living. Of course she can read the journals, if she wants, but I'm not going to shove this kind of lifestyle to her. I want her to have the freedom of choice."

"Is this what you've always wanted to do? Helping horses, I mean", Mitch asked, looking at the woman next to him. The more Amy shared with him, the more he wanted to know. There were so many layers to her.

"Not really, actually", Amy shared, looking back at him. "I know this might sound bad, but when mom died, everyone kind of expected me to step in. They told me I had "the gift" my mom had, too. Thinking back now, it sounds so wild, but it felt the right thing to do at the time. I mean, Georgie's the same age now than I was when I had my first clients, and I can't just imagine her taking over a business like this - and it's not that I don't think she's smart and capable, but she's still... just a child. Maybe now that I'm a mother I see things differently and feel more protective, I don't know. I sometimes wonder if Lou and Grandpa were crazy for allowing me to do what I did, with my mom's reputation on the line as well, but... somehow it all worked out." She smiled a little, even though she knew things had not been easy.

"Is that why you don't want Lyndy to have the same kind of... expectations?" Mitch asked, simultaneously sympathetic yet impressed by the thought of young Amy and all she had did.

"Maybe. And I don't mean to sound like I blame anyone for what's happened, I'm not bitter about it, but I also don't want to assume she'll continue on my foot steps; mom didn't expect that with me, it just happened", Amy explained, blowing into her tea to make it cooler. "I just want things to be authentic for her."

"So... do you feel like you've been robbed opportunities because you were expected to do things, continue your mother's work?" Mitch asked, wondering what that had been like. He had always had a freedom to choose and do whatever he wanted and he was happy with the way he had been raised. Thing like Amy's could make someone bitter.

"Not really, no", Amy admitted after thinking about it for a while. "If anything, I feel like this thing has allowed me to do more than I could have dreamed of. Which is why I'm thankful for it and I love it so much."

"I think that'll be really important for Lyndy to see; her mom being happy and doing something she's passionate about, whether it's this type of thing or something else", Mitch figured. "That'll make her look for her own thing, no matter what it will be, and make her feel very empowered. It sounds to me that that is what your mom's legacy for you has been, too."

Amy looked at Mitch, feeling a little emotional by hearing his words. She held Mitch's gaze, feeling understood.

"I don't think I've ever really thought it that way, but now that you've said it... I think you've put it into words what I never really knew how to describe. I feel mom in everything I do, and I don't think it's necessarily because of my work with horses but because I saw her think that she could do anything she wanted - and she did. I think it's her spirit that she passed down to me. Maybe that's what "my gift" really is about..."


	42. Chapter 42

"What about you?" Amy asked when Mitch was sipping his tea. She leaned on her arm that was resting on the back of the couch, facing him. The man then looked at her, wondering what she meant by her question. "I mean, here we've been talking about me and my mom for... I don't know how long, and I feel like I know very little about you. I do feel like I know what kind of person you are, but not about you generally. I know you have parents who used to live close by and you served in the army and that you're some type of engineer-"

"A Power Engineer", Mitch filled in the blank and smiled.

"Yeah, that", Amy said, pointing a finger at him when he helped her. "But now you're a cowboy and you have a business with my family members. So... what's your story?"

Mitch pouted his lips, wondering what he could even say. It was a broad question.

"What do you wanna know?" he asked, turning to face Amy so they could have a better conversation. Even though the headache was pounding at the back of his head, somehow talking to Amy helped him to focus on something else, so he didn't mind this.

"Well, how about..." Amy was trying to pinpoint something that she knew but wanted to know more about, "how come you didn't continue your parents' business with their ranch? I know your mom had a stroke and your dad took care of her. Usually that's when the next generation steps in, so I am just curious that - seeing you're kind of living the ranching lifestyle now - why didn't it interest you back then."

"It did, but not like it does now", Mitch replied. "When I came back home, they did ask me to continue the work at the Saddle Road Ranch, but I said no, after considering it for a while, and my mom and my dad were understanding. It didn't hurt their feelings or anything, even if it was hard for them to let the place go. I think they could see I wasn't in the right mindset at the time, because I was trying to figure out who I even was. It would have been a huge undertaking, alone, especially", he continued.

Amy nodded along to his story, showing Mitch that she was listening.

"And besides, I kind of wanted to see if I could still do something with the engineering before settling down, so to speak. Jack offered me a job when I was still trying to find a path for myself, but I was always kind of looking for other jobs from Calgary at the same time, hoping that would take me somewhere. Eventually I found what I thought I wanted and I tried that and turned out it wasn't what I wanted. So here I am - again. I figured maybe it was a sign. I feel like me trying things out helped me found what I really wanted to do and what I didn't feel so passionate about, after all. But even though I would not return to engineering, it can still become useful to me in life. I guess what I wanted was right under my nose", he smiled. "And now I feel like maybe me being comfortable with the ranch life doesn't mean it's a bad thing, being comfortable doesn't equal boring, it doesn't mean I'm stuck or I couldn't challenge myself."

"So... you have the business with Garland Foods, is that what you've been thinking about doing for the rest of your life or just for the time being?" Amy asked, hoping she didn't sound like she was interviewing Mitch for a job. "I mean, I'm just wondering what you're passionate about. Business or..." she continued, hoping to ease the question a bit.

"I don't know, I mean, I like that and it's not something I'm thinking about pulling out from unless something happens with that, but I do have other dreams, too", Mitch admitted, "but I don't see why I couldn't make them work with the beef business. In fact, I believe I could make them work well with it."

Amy smiled. Her interest was piqued. "Oh?"

Mitch looked a little coy and a grin spread across his face, revealing his dimples.

"Well, call me old-fashioned, but I would like to have the whole wife, marriage, house and kids thing so many dream about", Mitch admitted, looking at his tea. He had been hoping that it would have maybe happened by now, but maybe it just wasn't in the cards yet. "And to put my skills in good use, I would actually like to help build that house. I like to do things with my hands, perhaps that's why I like this ranch work so much. So, maybe I wasn't ready to have the farm when my parents sold theirs, but... I would like to think I could have it in the future, but maybe something more small scale", he continued, now looking at Amy. She probably understood it better than most, seeing she liked living on a farm as well.

Hearing Mitch say those words made Amy feel... different. After the fight with Ty, she had been doubting that her dreams that had to do with living on a farm were somehow outdated and stupid, but now as she realized other people still had the same dreams too. It was like she was suddenly validated.

"Is that stupid...?" Mitch wondered because Amy just kept staring at him in the quietness. Amy then realized she should probably say something.

"What? Oh. No. No, not at all. Actually I..." Amy stuttered, trying to figure out how to express her emotions as she was so overwhelmed. "I was just thinking that's... kind of what I want to do too at some point. I mean, I don't know how to build a house, but I did help around here when the loft was being renovated and I liked that. Making my own home. I would like to do it again with a house."

"Yeah, exactly. It will feel more personal and - more importantly - you'll get the kind of house you want", Mitch was getting excited about the topic. Lou had never seemed like she had wanted to truly settle down, so he had just always assumed that maybe that wasn't what people wanted these days, but now that he had found someone who dreamed about it too, it was like he had somehow become more alive as well. "And the lands here..." he shook his head, "I feel like you'll win in a lottery, no matter where you decide to build your house. It's so beautiful."

"I..." Amy smiled, feeling happier to talk about it now than she had the last time she had talked about it, "I actually have a land of my own, not too far away from here. You can see the mountains from there and everything."

Mitch looked surprised. "You do?"

"Yeah. Just late last year, Grandpa showed me the part of his land he is giving to me", Amy said. Jack had been hoping that she and Ty would have built their dream house there, but things had started to fall apart before she had even had a chance to talk about it with Ty. Thinking back now, Ty wouldn't have probably been too happy about it, seeing he liked living in the city as it was easier for his job. "I started freaking out at first, thinking he was sick and that was why he was gifting me the land, but he just said he could see this loft getting too small for me, Lyndy and..." She stopped, not wanting to bring Ty up. "I mean, when Lyndy grows up. So, he wanted us to have the land now that it could be useful to us."

"That's very thoughtful of him", Mitch said, smiling. He knew Jack to be a fair man, so it didn't exactly surprise him, more like reminded him that he was fortunate for knowing him and it was nice seeing how good care he took of everyone around him. "Having a place of your own, close-by but still having some privacy", he thought out loud, feeling that was the ideal solution that could work for Amy.

"Yeah", Amy said, feeling so lucky to have a grandfather like Jack. He had always supported her, no matter what. "But, I don't know when that will become topical. I mean, I know this place will get too small for us soon, but... I don't know, just thinking about building a house alone... I think I'll need more time to process the whole thing. After last year, I'm just exhausted and want to breathe for a little while. I'm hoping for good things and I feel like building a house is more like asking for trouble."

"Understandably", Mitch said, nodding. "You don't have a bad thing going on here", he said, looking around. "And for now, I think it will do for you two. - And hey, it's not all bad when you have enough space to house a patient here as well."

They both laughed.

"Yeah, I guess not. But I'm not planning on making it a habit", Amy said, sipping her tea. "How are you feeling, by the way?"

"Tired", Mitch shared, "the headache's still pounding, but... I guess it could be worse. - Thanks for letting me stay here, I know it's asking a lot. I wish I wouldn't have to bother you with this, knowing you have so much on your plate already. But tomorrow, I'll be out of your hair, promise."

"It's not asking a lot. Besides, I offered", Amy assured him. "I wouldn't have been able to sleep if I would have let you be alone in your trailer - or worse, left you in the hospital. So either way, I'll lose sleep but at least it's for a good cause."

"Yeah, those dreadful hospitals", Mitch teased, chuckling. Amy pushed him carefully on the shoulder, making him moan, and smiled even though he was teasing her. "Hey, you were supposed to take care of me, not hurt me!"

"Sorry..." Amy said, feeling a bit remorseful. "Did that actually hurt?"

"No. I was just teasing you", Mitch replied. Amy felt relieved. "I think the magic of the Miracle Girl is actually working because I'm feeling a little better. So, thanks for that. Definitely better than a hospital."

Amy sighed a little, even though she knew Mitch was giving her a compliment.

"What...?" Mitch asked. Now it was his time to wonder. "Something I said?"

"I just... I feel bad and... guilty whenever I hear that title. "Miracle Girl". I don't know if I still am that. I haven't been able to help a horse in a long time. And I don't know if I'm able to get Harley ready for Bryce", Amy voiced her concerns. "And before you think it's about you getting hurt, it's not. I don't know if I would be able to do it anyway. Maybe I'm kidding myself."

Mitch set his tea cup aside and put his hand gently on her knee without thinking too much of it. It was heartbreaking to see her inner struggle because he could tell she was amazing in what she did. The only reason she was doubting herself was most likely because her self-esteem had been kicked to the lowest level due to everything she had been through lately.

"No, that's not true", Mitch said, figuring he had to get personal because Amy needed to hear this. "You might feel like you haven't been able to help horses but maybe that's because you've been too afraid to take a chance. But you weren't afraid to act when I needed help back between the dumpsters. You acted without hesitation and were able to calm me down, and even when I was breathing better again, you made sure I was okay and not alone. You made me feel like that for the longest time I wasn't alone during a time when I tend to feel the loneliest and lowest I can feel. And then you helped me seek help so I can feel better and improve myself on my terms. And that's how I know you still have that gift, or whatever it is that you want to call it. You really are a Miracle Girl- No, you're a Miracle _Woman_. At least to me you are, and I just wish you could see that yourself too, because I know that since you were able to help me and see my pain when I tried to ignore it and hide from everyone, you can get through to pretty much any horse or person too, if they feel like they can trust you. I know I did - and I already feel better for it. The rest is up to me, but you were able to give me that spark to make myself feel better. And for that, you are amazing, Amy. You really are."

Amy looked at Mitch and felt the tears forming in her eyes. She had never really thought about it that deeply or realized what it had meant for Mitch, but now that she could see it through his point of view, how a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders and there was no veil of secrecy in his eyes anymore, Amy realized she had helped to make a difference. He was open to the world after years of not being able to connect.

"I don't know what to say..." Amy confessed.

"You don't have to say anything. Just know what I said", Mitch replied.

"Thank you", she said, set her tea cup aside and leaned toward him, so she could hug the man in front of her. Mitch felt a little surprised at first, but then wrapped his arms around Amy and let her release the feelings she needed to get out.

At the same time, he felt like he had needed the hug too, but had not realized it.

The longer they embraced, the clearer their feelings got. It was as if his emotions flew through her and her feelings came to him, and suddenly they were somehow synced. It was something neither of them had felt in a while, but it was comforting to both of them - familiar even.

Eventually, after a while, Amy leaned back a little, but suddenly stopped. She wanted to stay close, because it felt good to be close to Mitch, but she didn't know what to do with that. All she knew was that she didn't feel like going away. She was so close that their eyes didn't even meet as they were hardly apart from one another.

"We should... probably try and get some sleep", she said awkwardly. Amy could feel some kind of electric between them, but she felt guilty for it and there was no way she would ever really acknowledge it or let Mitch know that somehow something had shifted between them, at least from her perspective, even though she was curious what he thought of it. Did he feel it too?

Mitch cleared his throat a little. "Yeah, probably..."

He felt a little confused too, almost as if he was somehow able to see things clearer, yet not clear enough to know what was happening.

When Amy leaned back, she quickly got up and was now having problems forming an eye contact with the man on the couch, but it seemed like Mitch was a little lost as well.

"Is everything alright with you? Do you need an extra blanket, or..." she tried to focus on something else, hoping that it would somehow help them move on from whatever this was.

"No, I think these three will do", Mitch said, feeling a little amused, because he already had more than enough. It was clear Amy was just nervous.

"Okay then..." Amy said, taking steps back toward her bed. "Goodnight, then."

"Goodnight", Mitch said and looked Amy disappear behind the sheer curtains that surrounded her and Lyndy's sleeping area. He slid down on the couch and tried to get comfortable.

He tossed and turned, but eventually realized the problem wasn't the couch, it was what had been set alight inside and he needed to get comfortable with that.

 _Amy...? Really?_

 _Was that even appropriate?_

 _She was Lou's sister and in the middle of getting a divorce._

 _No._

 _It was just the bump he had suffered to his head. It was making him not think straight, that's all._

 _They had good time together and Amy was nice, but it didn't mean that had to mean anything more._

While Mitch was reeling from his sudden realization, he had no idea that on the other side of the curtain, Amy was trying to make sense of things as well.

She crawled into her bed, positioned herself on her back and laid her hands on her stomach. But she was not sleepy, actually she was anything but sleepy as her heart still kept racing like a wild mustang.

All she could think about was that hopefully Mitch had not noticed anything strange about her behavior and if he had, he had not realized what it had been about. Because she couldn't think about Mitch that way or have these feelings. She just couldn't. For so many reasons.

It was just the closeness, the comfortability of their conversation, that's it. It was just nice to have someone who understood and listened and was close and showed interest.

 _Right, that's it. You're just confused. Don't jump to any conclusions, she told herself. It'll only make things more complicated._


	43. Chapter 43

Amy woke up to Lyndy rattling her own crib impatiently and making noises so her "mommy" would get up. When she heard this, Amy almost jumped up, realizing then and there she had forgot to not only set an alarm but also wake up to check on Mitch throughout the night.

She decided to check on Lyndy first.

"Hey, pumpkin", Amy said gently as she came to Lyndy and picked her up. The little girl seemed pleased, but something was still clearly bothering her - and it didn't take long for her mother to figure out what. As soon as she got a hold of Lyndy, the mother knew that the girl needed a change of diaper.

But that had to wait for a little while longer.

Walking pass the curtains, Amy could feel her heart beat faster. It wasn't just because of the things she had thought about last night, but also because she was scared something had happened to Mitch on her watch.

"Mitch...?" she said quietly as she made her way to him.

The man was sleeping on the couch and didn't react at first, which made Amy even more concerned. She tried to remain calm, even though the sight of the man made her feel strange for several reasons.

"Mitch?" she repeated, louder this time, hoping this wasn't a bad way to wake him up, knowing the man was suffering from PTSD episodes every now and then, and waking him up by startling him was probably a bad idea.

Mitch finally woke up and looked around, blinking rapidly as it took a while for him to realize what was going on and where he was. Mitch then froze as he saw Amy and her daughter in front of her.

 _Why were they staring at him?_

"What is it? Is everything okay?" he worried and got up in case there was an emergency.

"Yeah, everything's fine, I just... I forgot to wake you up throughout the night", Amy admitted shamefully, "and now it's already a morning. I was just wondering how you were doing."

"I'm... I'm fine", Mitch said after a brief moment of checking himself. The head was still a little sore and he was feeling tired, but other than that, he wasn't too bad.

Amy was relieved but she knew she still had to check some things. "Do you remember your name?"

"Yeah. Mitch Cutty."

"And what year is it?" Amy quizzed.

"2018."

"2018?!" Amy worried, but then realized. "Oh, right, we're already in the new year... Sorry. Yeah. 2018 it is. And do you remember why you are here and what happened to you?" she asked one last question.

"I hit my head while I was at the Dude Ranch. I have a concussion", Mitch said, relaxing a little as he realized there was no danger and these were just routine questions Amy had to ask from him.

"Okay, I think you are good", Amy said, feeling relieved. "I will have to change Lyndy's diaper, feed her and get to work, but you should rest. I'll come check up on you after I'm done feeding the horses."

"Alright", Mitch said, laying down. He turned on his side and looked around. For the first time in a long time, he had not had any nightmares or he had not woken up because of nightmares.

Maybe there was a silver lining to this whole accident.

* * *

When Amy was done feeding Lyndy, she took her to the barn office and placed her onto her play pen, then hurrying to check on the horses. Just as she was about to get the first buckets, she realized the horses had already been fed and because the buckets were gone.

Not too long after, Jack walked in with wheel-barrels that had been loaded with new straw hay bales. "Good morning", he said.

"I didn't realize you were here, helping", Amy said, feeling like she had been rushing for vain. Thinking back, she should have probably figured the horses had been fed already since they had not been making noise by kicking the stall doors like they always did whenever they were waiting for food. Even though the loft was insulated, she could still hear the noises through her floor.

"Well, I figured since you took Mitch to the hospital yesterday that he's probably resting today", Jack explained, "and therefore you might need some help. Besides, I'm always up early, so I figured I'd come and help you."

"Oh, right..." Amy nodded, wondering if Jack had heard her and Mitch talk upstairs. "Yeah, he's not coming in today. He slipped on the icy yard and is suffering from a concussion", she confirmed.

"Ah, that's a shame... Glad it was nothing more serious, though", the old man continued and started to fill up the bale pile. "I should probably go and check the yard too, just to be safe. Lisa's having some guests at the Dude Ranch and they need to be safe."

"Yeah..." Amy agreed, nodding.

For some reason she felt guilty for taking Mitch in - and wasn't sure why. She had only tried to be helpful, but it was like she was doing something she shouldn't be doing and was afraid that someone would find out, even though nothing wrong had even happened.

"I think I can take it from here", Amy offered, not only because she was feeling guilty for making Jack do all the work - since she had been late - but also because she was feeling nervous for having him so close-by when Mitch was upstairs. "Thanks for the help."

"I'll just pile these up", Jack said, not wanting to leave before he was done.

Amy nodded and then got into thinking.

"Hey, do you know if dad's up for work?" Amy asked. "I was just thinking since Mitch's not able to help me today with Harley, that I might need someone else and he kind of... seemed like he could lend a hand", she continued.

Even though she felt insecure around her dad when it came to his department of knowledge, Amy had figured that she probably would have to swallow her pride and do what was best for Harley. Her dad was one of the best cowboys around here and it would be stupid to not use his expertise when she had the chance. She really didn't want to fall back on her schedule.

"I think so. To drive the ATV, right?" Jack checked. He had seen Amy do that yesterday with Mitch.

"Yeah", Amy confirmed. "Or... you know, whatever he thinks is best. He can ride Harley if he wants too. I just don't know what stage he is in his recovery."

"I think driving the ATV will be okay seeing he's driving a truck too", Jack said. Tim had had to take it easy after his surgery, but he was now slowly getting back to how things had been before. "But, I'm not his spokesperson; you should call him and ask."

"I will. Thanks, Grandpa", she said and pulled out her cellphone, walking slowly toward the barn office while she was looking for her dad's number from the contacts. She could keep an eye on Lyndy while she made the phone call.

As she was about to reach the other room, Amy heard steps coming downstairs from the loft and looked up.

It was Mitch. He was up and about to enter the barn, but stopped at the stairs when he saw Amy.

"Hey, I was just thinking... Do you have anything to eat? I should probably eat something", he asked right away.

The color from Amy's face escaped and she looked on her side, seeming a little worried. _What was Grandpa going to think?_

"Oh, I didn't know you were up there, Mitch", Jack said after he heard the ranch hand's voice, then stepping closer to have a look. This answered Amy's earlier question about whether the man had known about Mitch or not. "How are you feeling? You look a little rough."

"I feel a little rough", Mitch confirmed.

Amy cleared her throat. "You can just check the cabinets and the fridge, take anything you like", she tried to keep this short as she was feeling her cheeks turn red and if nothing else was suspicious, then that would absolutely make everyone wonder what was going on. She had not thought about Mitch needing to eat earlier because she had been so busy taking care of Lyndy and the horses, but her hospitality of course extended to him having breakfast at the loft.

"Thanks", Mitch said. He nodded to Jack and then went back upstairs.

"Why didn't you tell me he was staying at the loft?" Jack asked, pointing toward the ceiling.

"Because I didn't want you to get a wrong idea", Amy explained. She felt the need to explain even more out of nervousness. "I couldn't leave him alone in the trailer; he needed a place to stay. He slept on the couch", she made sure to mention.

"Okay, well... that's good", Jack said, almost as if he was checking whether it was good or not since Amy was acting a little strange. To him it sounded like a good deed, but for some reason his granddaughter was getting all defensive about it. "Right?"

"Yeah, it is... I just..." Amy sighed. She shook her head. "Never-mind. I should call dad", she continued, realizing maybe she was the only one making a big deal about it because she was afraid she would somehow make things worse and people think something that they didn't need to think about.

She then went to the barn office and tried to calm down again. Mitch's interruption had set her on the side trails, but more than that, Amy knew her feelings toward him were to blame. It was still difficult to make sense of them.

Eventually, she took out her phone while checking on Lyndy and called her dad.

"Hey, dad. Do you think you'd have time to help me out?" Amy asked right away when Tim had answered his phone. "It's about Harley. I'd like you to give me some tips."


	44. Chapter 44

"Thanks again for doing this, Lisa", Amy said as she placed the diaper bag on the kitchen floor after handing Lyndy to her great-grandmother. "I really need to look into a babysitter or a nanny - I can't just drop off Lyndy to your lap whenever I need to work", she continued.

It was not like Amy had not thought about a nanny or a babysitter already more than once, but she was feeling guilty for even considering it. She had expected to be a different kind of mom, someone who was able to make it work with a kid on her arm. It seemed like women these days were able to have it all, just like her mom or Lou, but she wasn't sure how. She was already struggling with working from home and raising her daughter within _the same ranch_ mostly because her job was physical and at times dangerous and she couldn't just carry Lyndy around and focus on her while working. Amy was in awe of those women who were able to see their friends, work out and have hobbies. Some single mothers even squeezed in dating.

Maybe if she would still be married, this would be easier.

Or not, if Ty would be working outside the country months on end.

But now, it was time to face the facts; she couldn't just use her grandparents as babysitters forever and she couldn't make this work without feeling guilty about something. Even though it was going to be hard, the situation had to change, for the sake of everyone in this family.

Amy knew she couldn't afford to be just a stay-at-home mom and nor would it be enough for her because working with horses was her passion, but she also didn't want to be too far away from Lyndy and hand her over to Ty, which is why a nanny or a babysitter was the only reasonable option. Whatever money Ty send their way was not enough to keep them going - and besides, Amy didn't want to rely on solely on Ty's income (which these days was not much as his job was more about a calling than benefits).

She had to show Lyndy, that she could make this work, just like Mitch had reminded her last night. Everything else, like her social life, could wait for a little while longer.

"Amy, stop, I really don't mind", Lisa said, not wanting Amy to feel guilty. "I've taken steps back from my own business and hired help, so I get it. I know it's not exactly the same, because my baby is my business, but I know how hard it feels to ask for help, but the truth is, everyone needs it sometimes. Besides, it's not like I'm too busy today; I have to check the Dude Ranch, yes, but Lyndy will just come with me and it will be no problem at all. And meanwhile you can do what you have to do with the horses. It's better if you can focus on your work without having to worry about Lyndy at the same time. You can't work with horses like you'd only have only 5 minutes - trust me - I get it. So... we'll be fine. Won't we, Lyndy?" the woman asked from the little girl and hugged her gently. "Don't worry about us", she added once more.

"Okay... Thanks, Lisa", Amy said, smiling and feeling a little more relieved even though the guilt was still lingering at the back of her head. "But just so you know, I am still going to look into getting help. It'll be hard, but... it'll be for the best. Besides, it's not like I will be far from Lyndy; I just need to those moments of complete concentration with horses, especially if I'm planning to get more clients."

"And we'll support you with that for as long as you need", Lisa assured. She truly understood what it was like being a young woman with dreams of building a bigger business. She had had Dan for help, but Amy was on her own and she had a daughter as well, so all the support she could give, she would be giving it.

"Thanks", Amy said, then hearing someone pulling up. She looked outside the kitchen window and saw Tim's Ford just as it was being parked right by the barn. "Oh, that's my dad. Gotta go. Bye, Lyndy." She came to kiss her daughter's hair.

"Have fun", Lisa said when Amy left the kitchen.

Amy walked toward the truck, but against her expectations, Tim was not alone. Jade strode out and and she could hear her thank Tim for the ride before she headed to the barn. Amy figured the young girl was probably helping out Georgie with the horses while her niece was in New York with Lou, just like they had planned over New Year's, so in a way Amy didn't consider her an unwanted guest because she would actually be helping a lot today by taking the horses out for ride, but the third person coming out of Tim's truck... well, Amy had conflicting feelings about him.

"Hey", she greeted the two men. "What's going on?"

"You wanted help with that horse of yours, didn't you?" Tim said, wondering if Amy was suffering from a sudden memory loss. "So, Caleb and I are here to help", he explained, gesturing toward the other cowboy and then himself.

Amy glanced at Caleb, but then looked back at her dad. "Can we... have a word?" she asked.

"Sure. Caleb, why don't you get the ATV from the garage? I think you can remember where the keys are being kept?" Tim instructed Caleb before stepping aside with Amy.

"On it", Caleb said.

"Why did you bring him?" Amy asked directly. "I asked _your_ help."

Tim frowned.

"I offer you more help, but you don't want it? Here I thought I was giving my daughter the best I can give her", Tim was almost hurt.

"That's not what I meant..." Amy said.

"Amy, I'm a coach. That's also what I do; I coach. So, I was thinking we could try switching it up between you and Caleb so we can not only challenge you but the horse as well", Tim continued, making hand movements to go along with what he was saying. "Based on what you told me over the phone, he's not going to be just one man's horse, he'll have to get used to all kinds of riders. I know I was maybe being a little bit frank with you yesterday, but I didn't bring Caleb here because I wouldn't believe you couldn't train the horse, I just feel like maybe you have to be shown first what you gotta do, because after that, I know you can do it."

Amy looked at her dad. At least one person here had faith in her.

"This isn't your field, in a way, so of course you're not going to get it right out of the bat, especially with a horse who doesn't really have any idea what is expected of him. And while I would never admit this in front of Caleb", the man looked over his shoulder to make sure the younger cowboy wasn't there, "he can be pretty good at this thing; that's why I've kept him around. Well, that and because he comes cheap. - But I also know that you have the potential as well, you just need to unleash it. I will be watching from the ground to see what it is that you are not bringing forth but should. That's how we'll get the best results", Tim explained, ending his speech and looking pretty confident about himself.

"Okay..." Amy felt a little bit better after her dad had explained his reasoning behind it all. Maybe Tim also needed more time before he could get back on the horse, so she was trying to be more understanding with that as well. "But - it's not only that... It's going to be awkward."

"Awkward?" Tim didn't follow. "How come?"

"Because... Caleb is Ty's friend. And... I guess Ty has a claim on him", Amy said, feeling uncomfortable, especially because the last time they had talked with Caleb, things had not exactly ended in good terms. It was clear Caleb was on Ty's side with their divorce as well.

"Oh, geez", Tim sighed, closing his eyes as he sighed. "Honey, I know this divorce with Ty is hard, trust me, I get it, I've been there. But you can't just shy away from everything that has to do with that lousy ex-husband of yours. If you do, you'd have to move away from here, because everything and everyone is somehow connected to Ty since he lived here for years and he made a lot of connections. I don't care if you "claim friends"", he made the air quotes, "or whatever it is that's happening with the friends you used to have together - you are gonna have to make things work if you want to keep on working. Sometimes it means you have to work with someone you wouldn't like to work with. And I know that that has not been a problem with you in the past, so don't make it a problem now. You have to get over it. And besides, before Caleb was Ty's friend, he was your friend. And your boyfriend! So if anyone has a claim on him, it should be you!"

"Please, don't remind me..." Amy said, not wanting to think back about her dating Caleb.

It had been one of those things where she had thought she had known what she wanted, but what she had wanted was Ty and Caleb had been just a distraction, so there had never been any big emotions at play - other than jealousy over Ty. For a while there, Amy had thought a life with a cowboy would be easier than a life with someone who didn't know much about ranch life, but as it had turned out, neither of those relationships had worked only based on those standards. Love needed more. Besides, it was not like Caleb had had any trouble getting over her either, since he had ended up with Ashley soon after their break-up. Or maybe he had even been involved with Ashley during their relationship - she wasn't sure and at this point, she didn't care. It all felt so childish now; maybe this was just as childish.

"Okay, fine, I'll do this", Amy promised then.

"That's the spirit. Why don't you get that horse, and we'll set things up with Caleb at the ring", Tim suggested.

Amy nodded. "Alright. See you there."

As Amy walked into the barn, Jade was saddling Trouble on the aisle and was almost ready to go.

"Hey, Jade", Amy said as she fetched Harley's brushes. "How's it going? You talked to Georgie much?"

"I have", Jade said as she was strapping on the saddle. "Seems like she's having a blast in New York, even though she misses these guys. But I'm sending her a lot of pics and videos, so at least that's something."

"That's good", Amy said, genuinely happy Georgie had such a good friend in Jade. She followed Georgie's Facebook page and they texted occasionally, but other than that, Amy felt a little out of the loop. She had figured if something major happened with her sister and her daughters, she would know about it. "How's your life?"

Jade scoffed. "Quiet. Between me working at Maggie's and now helping out with Georgie's horses, nothing much is happening. Kind of miss having a friend to do things with... it's just not the same alone."

"I miss Georgie too", Amy admitted, walking to Harley's stall. "But it'll be nice to have you here for company. - What's going on with the rodeo then? You're not doing that anymore?"

"My sponsorship fell through, so I wasn't able to go to the US for a circuit after all, so it's going to be quiet winter. I'm looking forward to the spring, though, when things start picking up here again", Jade shared with her. "At least I have Phoenix, Trouble and Checkers to keep me busy."

"I'm sorry to hear about your sponsorship", Amy said, knowing that happened sometimes for different reasons. "Have to say, I'm kind of glad you're helping out with the horses, since things seem to be picking up here and I really can use the help", she tried to let Jade know that what she did was not a minor thing. Maybe that would make her feel a little bit better.

"If only Georgie paid me more for this", Jade said, half-jokingly. "Don't get me wrong, I love taking care of these guys, but... I could use the money, you know. Should I ask her a raise or would that just completely ruin our friendship? - Then again, now that I don't much of a social life, maybe I don't need that much money. - Who am I kidding; if I want to buy my own horse one day, I do need to save some money. My Hummer didn't come cheap either", she hummed a little. "I even hitched a ride from Tim to save money on gas."

The girl's thought process was so fast, Amy almost had trouble keeping up.

"I don't know how much money Georgie is paying you, but I guess you can talk about it, just maybe not go at it like you're asking for a raise or it might put a strain in your friendship", she gave her advice while quickly brushing Harley. "Can I ask you something else, though?"

"Yeah, shoot", Jade said, taking down Trouble's halter and moving his reins over his head as they were getting ready to go.

"Do you have any experience with children?" Amy asked, then leaning on the stall door and looking at Jade to see her reaction. If Jade could use some money and she was looking for a babysitter, maybe this could be something they could make happen to benefit both, at least for a while until she found more permanent solution and Jade would get busy again. That way she didn't have to feel so guilty about asking Grandpa or Lisa for help.

"Why...?" Jade asked. Then she realized. "Wait, are you asking me to babysit?"

"Maybe..." Amy replied, but she needed a little convincing at first. This was her daughter, so she had to make sure Lyndy was going to be in safe hands.

"I love kids", Jade lied. She didn't exactly hate them, but didn't also gravitate toward them. Besides, how hard could babysitting really be, especially with a little angel like Lyndy. "I might not have much experience with them, but I'm a fast learner. And I take care of horses, so I know what it's like to have much responsibility. I'm not afraid of getting dirty either, you know that. And Lyndy kind of knows me, so that's a plus, she wouldn't have to be with a stranger", she listed things why Amy should seriously consider hiring her.

"That's true", Amy admitted. She was surprised just how quickly Jade had gotten excited over the possibility, which seemed like a good sign. She still had her reservations, but maybe those were something they could work on. "Let me think about it. But this is something that I could make work for the both of us."

"Okay, let me know what you've decided", Jade said, smiling. She could already see the dollar signs in her eyes. "I'll see you later."

"Okay. See you", Amy said when Jade walked Trouble out of the barn. It almost seemed like stars were somehow slowly aligning and her problems were clearing up.


	45. Chapter 45

Mitch and Amy find an unexpected connection due to absent lovers. Set around season 11.

A/N: I didn't have a beta for this story, so hopefully there won't be too many grammar errors.

Amy charged after Caleb and the ATV with Harley as soon as the four-wheeler had gained enough speed. She was focused on the jumping calf behind the vehicle and fiddled the rope, tightening her grip on it, as she was about to send it flying over the horse's head to catch the target.

Tim watched them speed from the sidelines and judged the performance. Harley seemed like he knew he needed to go fast, his head was high and his nostrils breathed in more air than usual, but at the same time the horse seemed unsure and held back. Tim assumed it was because of something Amy was doing or not doing, so he paid more attention to Amy for a while.

Even though she was trying to allow the horse to go after the target, Amy herself was stiff, and watching her on the horse was almost uncomfortable. It was no wonder Harley felt like he needed to hold back a little even when his heart said to just go.

After Amy made a half-hearted attempt to catch the calf and the rope fell short, Tim asked them to gather closer to him.

"Okay, you two. Let's switch it up. I need to see how Harley performs with Caleb", Tim said, pointing toward the youngsters and then made a reversed gesture in the air. Caleb and Amy exchanged looks. Caleb hoped that Tim was not going to be too hard on Amy while Amy feared she was a disgrace to her father, a champion of rodeo.

Even though Tim had not said anything specific, Amy knew her dad was not happy with how she had done. She was frustrated with herself, but tried to follow Tim's guidance so that she'd find her way out of this situation. It was clear she was missing something and needed help.

Amy climbed on top of the ATV, and Caleb mounted Harley. She looked over her shoulder at the cowboy when she had a firm grip on the handles and he had settled on the horse. "Ready?" she checked. Caleb gave her a nod, and off they went.

Tim followed them as Amy started driving around and Caleb collected the rope. It was evident Caleb was made for this and his body knew exactly how much he needed to ease in and give freedom for the horse. The rope swung easily over Harley's head and captured the calf like there was nothing to it. When Amy felt a pull, she looked over her shoulder and sighed. She was glad Caleb had been able to do it and Harley seemed to be a good fit for this, but she felt bad for being something that was clearly holding the horse back.

At least now she knew where the problem was.

She drove back to Tim to hear the feedback, even though she could pretty much already guess what he would say. Still, she needed to hear it in order to be better.

"Okay, that was good", Tim said, enthusiastically. "You have a good horse here, Amy."

Amy nodded, agreeing. "I do. But I'm not a good rider. So... what's my problem?"

"You're too tense", Tim said right away and pulled his shoulders up to his ear. "You look like this. It's sending Harley the signal that he should be aware of something when he shouldn't be focusing on anything else than going after the calf."

Amy nodded, understanding what Tim was saying. She got off from the ATV and tried to ease her shoulders and loosen up otherwise as well. Maybe she had been sleeping in some weird position and was now showing it.

"I don't think this horse needs me or Caleb", Tim said, "you could pretty much call your buyer and have him pick up Harley now; he clearly understands what he's supposed to do and he's fast - well, for his size. The only thing that could be worked on is his hay belly, but that'll be solved with a proper diet and exercise. Let's try it again couple of times to see if he's being consistent - you want to be sure."

"I know. And I also know right now I'm the only thing holding him back and maybe that can't be solved in the time frame given to me, but I can't call the buyer yet. There's still some things I need to figure out before Harley's ready to go", Amy said, looking at the horse. Bryce and his guys were in wheelchair, so she needed to teach Harley how to help them get on his back.

"Sure it's not the fact that he is Ty's horse that's holding you back...?" Tim was trying to play a psychologist as he leaned on the fence and watched them under his cowboy hat. "Maybe you don't want to let him go - after all, Harley's one of the few things still tying you to him", he made his guess.

"No", Amy said strictly, a little annoyed look on her face. "It's not that. He's amazing horse. If anything, I've been feeling sorry for Harley for having to just stand around and wait for Ty to come back and do something with him. I'm glad he's going to an active home."

"Just stand around and wait for Ty to come back..." Tim echoed. "Huh. Sounds like he's not the only one. - Hey, maybe you could use that actually", he tried to find a way for Amy to relax and train herself mentally. "Maybe that's exactly how you feel too, so try to find a way for yourself to let go. Don't hold back, just set yourself free. Set you both free."

Amy sighed. She didn't know if the reason she was holding back was what her dad was saying. There was part of her that still felt tied to Ty, she couldn't deny that, but at the same time she was tired of holding onto it. Not much good had come of it so far and it was only going to get more rough.

Maybe it was because of Lyndy. It was hard to let go when she had a child with Ty and he was always going to be in Lyndy's life.

She knew with Harley it was not the problem. Harley deserved better, and she knew with Bryce, he could have a life full of happiness and action and once he was in his new home, the tie to Ty would be cut.

"Okay... Let's try that", Amy said, figuring maybe as an outsider her dad saw something she didn't and there was no use denying something if she wouldn't know for sure that it wasn't the problem. She had to prove it wrong.

"That's the spirit", Tim said, cheering his daughter on. Maybe he also got a bit of a kick from being right, especially because he didn't like seeing his daughter so miserable over some guy he had always had his doubts about.

Caleb got down from the horse's back, and Amy switched the vehicle to Harley. She psyched herself up, breathed in and out couple of times as she collected the rope and prepared mentally. After visioning the successful run in her head, she gave Caleb a nod, and he started the ATV.

As the calf started jumping, Amy buried her boots on Harley's side and gave him the signal to run. The horse was faster than last time, and she used all in her to focus on being relaxed. But as the rope slid down from the calf's horn, Amy realized she had put all her focus on relaxing and had then forget how to aim better.

Amy sighed. She was frustrated. It was up to her to put all these pieces together to make it work. If one thing worked, the another side couldn't be lopsided because it would not make a balanced run.

"Again!" Tim shouted from the side, and Amy collected the rope so they could have a new go. _This time, she would get it!_

But instead, Caleb parked the four-wheeler in the middle of the ring, leaving both Amy and Tim puzzled. They waited to see what was happening.

"What is it? Did you break it?" Tim asked.

"No, I think it's out of gas", Caleb said after a quick inspection.

Tim sighed. "You didn't think to check it when you got it from the garage?" he asked, but Caleb just shrugged apologetically. "Fine. I'll get more gas. Meanwhile, Amy, try roping from the ground just to train your arm for the aim."

The older cowboy went to get more fuel from the garage and left Amy and Caleb behind. Amy got down from the saddle and took few steps back so she could try roping the still calf to get a better look at how she was.

Time and time again, Amy nailed it, so she was having mixed feelings of relief and frustration. If she could just do it all on the saddle, she would get it right. Caleb watched her performance and when they were both pretty sure Amy's aim was good with a still calf, they stood in awkward silence as she collected the rope into a circle.

"Don't take what your dad says too seriously", Caleb tried to talk to Amy. "He's just trying to push your buttons; I know it from experience. But... he's good at what he does, so I'm sure we'll figure this out. Once you got it, you no longer need us and Harley's good to go."

"Thanks... I know that", Amy said, not taking it too personally even though it did make her think if there was something wrong with her, emotionally.

Caleb nodded. When they were silent for few seconds more, he continued.

"Kind of funny that my friend's horse is going to another friend of mine. But I know Bryce is going to take good care of him. And if you ever need to see Harley again, you know where to find him."

"Yeah... Harley will be fine", Amy was sure. To Caleb's frustration, she was not in the talking mood. He wasn't sure if it was because of him or something else.

"So will you... and Lyndy, despite everything", Caleb was trying to show his support. Maybe after his last visit, Amy didn't think he was still her friend. "It can't be easy for you, do all of this for Ty, especially considering. I guess what I'm trying to say is that... I admire you, Amy, for being so professional."

"Thanks..." Amy said, feeling a little confused, but at the same time welcoming at least some form of praise. Those moments didn't come often enough these days.

"I think it's natural if you are holding onto Ty, even after everything. You were so in love, you had all these plans. I remember when you broke up after the Blair thing, I just couldn't imagine you two not being together and happy. It's kind of like that now, but... it seems like you are both on your own mission..." Caleb said.

 _The Blair Thing. The Chase Thing. The Ahmed Thing. The Europe Thing. The Mongolia Thing._ How many "things" had they had during their run, Amy wondered inside her head. It was like universe had either tested them or had tried to tell them something.

"I know I held onto Ashley for a long time, even though she made my heart ache", Caleb continued. "Looking back, I guess it was just hard to let go of those dreams we had together, more than anything. Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier if Ashley had had someone too and I would have seen she really was not coming back, like I wished. Maybe that would have made it more clearer it was over between us. To see her moved on, maybe it would have helped me to move on, too. I don't know if what you and Ty are going through is anything like that, but maybe you could use that as a motivation?"

"What do you mean?" Amy was confused, but then as she looked at Caleb's face, it went from sympathetic to a little bit horrified. "Caleb... Is there something I'm not aware of...?"

Amy could hear heart beat fast and she was rewinding what Caleb had just said in her head. Maybe she had misunderstood something, maybe it was just an exercise he had offered and there was nothing she should know about.

"I thought you knew... I'm sorry, I thought Ty had told you..." Caleb apologized.

"Told me what?" Amy asked. He wasn't sure if she was more angry at herself for being such a fool or angry at Ty for not keeping her in the loop - once again. "Just _say it,_ Caleb. I can handle it. I want to hear it."

"Ty... I think he is seeing someone..." Caleb finally let out. "But I didn't want to be the one to tell you. I'm so sorry, Amy. I hope I didn't just ruin everything-"

"No, it's fine. Honestly. What is there even to ruin", Amy said with a heavier tone, but still meaning it. "I'm glad whenever at least someone is telling me something I should know but I don't already know. I'm just so tired of being kept in the dark. So, thank you, _really_."

"You don't sound thankful", Caleb replied, examining Amy's facial expressions. Her mouth said one thing, but her body language said the other.

"I am. I really am", Amy said, trying to assure him. "I might look angry - and I guess in a way I am too - but I'm not angry at you. - Can you tell me one more thing? And this has nothing to do with me being jealous or still having hope with Ty - I'm over that, now more than ever - I just want to know how long he has been seeing this person."

Her mind started to go through all types of scenarios and no matter how different they were, all of them still left her feel like an idiot.

"I guess it's still pretty new", Caleb said, shrugging. "He spoke about it during New Year's. How this girl had asked him out on a date and at first he found it weird that she would ask a married man that, but then he remembered that he was not technically married anymore, so he figured maybe it wasn't that weird after all. This girl, Nomi, I think her name was, lives in Vancouver. I don't know if they saw during New Year's or not, because Cass and I were elsewhere. But that's pretty much all I know. He never asked me _not to_ tell you, so I just figured you knew."

Amy shook her head. "I didn't." So many questions were going around in her head, but she didn't have time to ask more - and besides Caleb probably didn't even know more - before Tim came back with the gas.

"Alright. Let's get this party started again", Tim said, handing Caleb the gas.


	46. Chapter 46

When Amy walked into the barn with Harley after her training session with Caleb and Tim, she was surprised to see Mitch downstairs, by Maverick's stall. Or, it wouldn't have been that surprising, but the man was supposed to be upstairs resting, so she was immediately worried.

"You're not thinking of going riding, are you?" Amy checked when she walked Harley one of the stalls so she could take off his tack. She didn't want to baby Mitch, but she had made a promise to keep an eye on him for 24 hours to make sure he was not showing any alarming signs of concussion.

Mitch listened to her but kept his eyes on his horse as Maverick nibbled his empty hand, hoping that a treat would magically appear on it.

"No, I'm not, don't worry. I just wanted to come down and say hi to my boy", Mitch explained. He knew he was not suffering from the worst concussion possible, but he would still have to take it easy for couple of days which meant that Maverick would have to adjust to that. That didn't mean they couldn't spend time together, though. "How was the session? I saw some of it from the window balcony window."

"Hopefully the better side", Amy replied, taking off Harley's bridle. She was still a little bit embarrassed just how badly she had done in the beginning.

"I was a little bit bored", Mitch admitted, "since you have no television upstairs and books and magazines make me sleepy. It looked fun, from what I could tell. Wish I could have been there, but then again looked like Caleb and Tim knew what they were doing."

"Yeah, they helped me a lot", Amy admitted genuinely, still going through the experience inside her head. "It didn't start out great, but eventually I was able to do what I needed to do. But... it was a journey, emotionally."

"Was Tim being a jerk?" Mitch guessed. Since he worked with the guy, he knew all about Tim's ways - especially if the man was able to get some sort of position of power, like he had with Harley's training, he would not hesitate to let people know his opinion and how he would go about it, which to him was pretty much the only way anyone could go about it if they wanted to be smart.

"Actually... he was more helpful than I expected. And Caleb", Amy admitted, still surprised how it had all turned out. "I went in and expected it to be frustrating, and in a way it was, but also... it was something else."

She placed the bridle on the top of the stall door and then moved to take off Harley's saddle as she was trying to find words to express the things she had experienced during the second half of the training.

"What do you mean?" Mitch asked. He had hard time trying to read Amy, but he could tell that something major had happened while she had been gone.

"Well, when we started, I was stiff as a board", Amy explained as she went on with her chore, "but then my dad and Caleb challenged me mentally and... I don't know, something just changed in me. It was so strange how it all happened. After that, the riding went on more smoothly, and I was able to catch the calf many times, and I think that part of Harley's training is over now."

"I guess they really know what they are doing since they have that business and all. Maybe me getting hurt was a blessing in disguise; maybe you couldn't have gotten those results with me driving the ATV", Mitch speculated. He loved helping, but also knew that he was no expert in this, and Amy was better of this way.

Amy thought about that. "I don't want to think about your injury that way. But I do admit that I don't think you would have challenged me like they had, no offence, just because... well, you're different than them. More careful."

The way Amy talked about it, made Mitch almost worried. Had Tim and Caleb not been careful?

"You're alright, right?" he checked, because he knew Tim to be pushy, but he did not have much knowledge of Caleb. Maybe he was just like Tim.

"Yeah, I'm okay", Amy assured, sensing Mitch's worry. "It's just that... they talked about Ty. I don't think you would have ever brought him up like that - but they did. I cannot deny I wasn't uncomfortable for a while there, but I guess I had to be, because something good came out of it. I feel like maybe I've been holding onto something, not really knowing what it was, and now I was able to break free because I was challenged in a way I had not expected to be challenged."

Mitch walked over to Amy's, just to make sure she wasn't just saying that she was okay, but that she actually was.

"I think Ty's seeing someone. Or could be, I don't know for sure, but someone had asked him out on a date", Amy then shared. Telling it to someone made her experience the same feeling she had felt while riding Harley after Tim had gotten more gas. It was this surreal sensation. "Caleb kind of accidentally let it slip."

Mitch studied her. "I'm sorry... That couldn't have been easy to hear. How are you feeling?" he worried.

"That's the thing", Amy sighed, shaking her head as if it was something unbelievable. "It's so weird. I expected to feel angry, jealous or even sad about that. I mean, I knew at some point that would happen; we are getting divorced after all, and I doubt he's just going to live his life alone. I just didn't know it would happen this soon, but now that it did, I'm kind of glad it did, because... all I feel is... relief."

"Relief?" Mitch repeated, wondering what she meant by that.

"Yes. For many reasons", Amy said as she stepped out to put the tack where they belonged. She took a cloth and made it little bit moist so she could clean the saddle and the bridle from any sweat on the leathery surface that they might have. "Firstly because my reaction was not at all what I expected it to be. I'm not devastated like I envisioned. And secondly, because if he's really seeing someone else, then it means this thing with me and him, is over and I can let go because he already has. Or might be, if he really is seeing this Nomi person. Even if he wouldn't be, I know that when he is seeing someone, I don't have to be nervous about my reaction. I almost hope he is, because it means I don't have to worry about him all the time, I don't have to carry him with me as much as I've carried him up until now. Does that make sense?"

Mitch shrugged. He wasn't sure. In a way it did, but he figured this was more complex than he could ever understand.

"I mean, for years, I lived in this fear of being the one to catch him. Like I had to be constantly alerted, on my toes, anxious almost. I was the one who collected his pieces and put him back together, because I was one of the few people he felt like he could open up to", Amy explained more. "And while that was great at first and what brought us closer, it started to become this... burden. Especially now with Mongolia where he was out of my reach, but I was still somehow the closest to him and there was nothing I could do to help him whenever he was in trouble. I felt so helpless. I've been feeling like it's my duty at this point to make sure he is okay. But now... there's someone else he might be able to open up to. I mean, I don't know if I should feel sorry for that other woman, I try not to because I don't know what their deal is, but... personally, I'm just relieved. Like something is finally over, and I'm free", she continued. "And I had not realized I could have that kind of reaction until I had it. It was like I could suddenly see something I had been carrying for years but I was still been blind to."

Mitch watched her and could almost see how her shoulders changed position - like a weight had been lifted off - and a faint smile formed on her face. He didn't know if it was some level of denial or just reality, but to him it looked real. It was like Amy was somehow more lighter all of a sudden.

"So... you're not jealous?" Mitch asked, because that was usually what some people felt, even during the divorce process because there were still ties that had to be cut despite the reasons that had lead the couple to go separate ways.

"No", Amy almost laughed as it was so unbelievable. Before, she had always been very jealous of Ty's attention, but not now. It really showed her how she really had matured and no longer wanted to own him just because she loved him. "I mean, I was angry when Caleb told me, but not because he was possibly seeing someone else. Mostly just because he had not told me that he might and I had to hear it from Caleb, but... I think that's normal, right? Especially because he still keeps me in the dark with pretty much everything. But this somehow changes things. I feel like I don't really care about that when it comes to me anymore because we really are over, but I'm more focused on Lyndy. I need to make sure she will be okay when she's visiting Ty. I don't know this woman, but I feel like I should in some way if she's going to be in Lyndy's life. And that's one thing I'm mad about - if Ty already introduced her to Lyndy without my consent. I don't know... I guess what I'm saying is that there are still some rules we need to establish, because while we are no longer together, we still have Lyndy to take care of and we have to agree about how we are going to go on with our lives with her in it. I think that might be the hardest part, but at least now I don't have anything else to worry about, so that's at least a relief."

"Yeah, I totally get that", Mitch said even though he had never been there himself. "But I mean, you probably have to figure that all out with the divorce and everything anyway. Lyndy's still going to be mainly here, right?"

"Well, yeah, but Ty will still be as much of a parent as I am", Amy said. Mitch watched her as she shrugged, like it was no big deal. "I don't want to take Lyndy away from him just because I might be mad at Ty."

"But... you've established some rules with your lawyer, right? That Ty can't just walk here and take her away just like that", Mitch checked, but when he looked at Amy's face, he could tell that maybe there were still some details that needed to be ironed before their divorce was finalized.

Amy could tell how Mitch could see the answer from her face and felt like explaining her reasons.

"I just don't want to make this ugly. I don't want to be the bad guy", Amy said, even though she worried about what Ty could potentially do, especially after the nightmares she kept seeing where Ty took Lyndy to Mongolia, but she had thought maybe she was just being unreasonable and petty.

"Well, yeah, maybe you don't want to, but..." Mitch started defending her, then realizing perhaps he was crossing some lines. "I mean, I know this isn't any of my business, but... while you might not want to be "the bad guy" who sets some rules, that doesn't change the fact that Ty might be. Or he might not even view himself as "the bad guy", because he has all these rights and he can use them all he wants. He would not be breaking any rules. Who is to say what he can do with all that freedom? When it comes to divorce, the rules that might have applied in marriage are no longer good because you each have your own lives and your own needs. Things might not always be as nice as you might like them to be, which is why there should be rules. At least you'd have something to depend on."

Amy wanted to argue, just because she didn't want to believe Ty would abuse his rights like that because she knew he loved Lyndy, but at the same time she had been wrong about him before and therefore couldn't say with absolutely certainty that Ty would not do anything she wouldn't agree with.

"I'm just saying that that might be something you want to think about. And maybe talk to your lawyer with", Mitch said, deciding he had said enough and was now backing off.


	47. Chapter 47

Mitch and Amy find an unexpected connection due to absent lovers. Set around season 11.

A/N: I didn't have a beta for this story, so hopefully there won't be too many grammar errors.

Amy sat by the table at the loft and looked at the screen of her laptop. The tea she had made for herself to keep herself calmer had already gone cold long time ago as she had been so focused on what she had been researching.

 _Child custody and parental access. Child, spousal and partner support. Parenting after separation..._

It all sounded so scary, so legal, somehow removed from reality.

She figured she had probably spent an hour reading all about her choices with this situation she was in and - more importantly - about to face, and even though there were plenty of options, Amy still felt cornered.

She understood what Mitch had been saying and what all these articles were trying to get across, but she still felt guilty, as if she was doing something forbidden even though this was normal in situations where couples were getting divorced and they had a child or children together.

Amy could recall her wedding vows and felt like a fraud. But at the same time, if she was a fraud, so was Ty for not keeping his end of the promises. The facts were that neither of them were innocent when it came to ending their marriage, but she was just trying to be practical about it to prevent any further drama.

Sighing, Amy closed the laptop and just sat in silence for a minute. Maybe calling her lawyer would make it more clearer; after all lawyers saw these things all the time and knew how to deal with people going through divorce. She probably wasn't the first one to feel this way and wouldn't be the last.

Still, something about this bothered her, no matter how much she tried to rationalize it.

As she glanced at Lyndy, who was sleeping in her bed, Amy knew what it was. It wasn't that she was still holding onto something or that she didn't know that this was what needed to be done, but it was the fact that she had not chosen how to go about this all yet.

But even though she wasn't exactly sure what would get written in those legal documents between her and Ty, there was one thing Amy was absolutely certain about: she didn't want to be like Ty. She wanted to be more upfront and wanted Ty to know what was coming, because these past few months had been all about her trying to fill empty blank spaces in order to understand what really was going on.

There was even a part of her that figured maybe that could help her case; if she was more transparent, maybe she'd look like a better parent compared to Ty with all his secrets.

What are you doing? she said to herself as she suddenly found her own thoughts so hostile. This is not some kind of competition, Lyndy's not some kind of prize.

Reading all these texts were getting to her, she could tell. Amy got up and started pacing around in the apartment. She didn't know if it would exactly help her to calm down, but she had to try as she felt like she was getting sucked into some kind of mess she wanted no part in.

Ten years from now, where do you see yourself? she asked from herself, trying to make sense of this all. Where do you see Lyndy? What do you think she would want?

There was no knowing where Ty would be in his life at that point because even his life now was a mystery to her, not to mention his life years from now.

But she had a saying in her own life.

All of a sudden, Amy was struck by a memory she had not thought about. She could remember herself, being 11 years old and wondering about her dad. Where he was, how he was and most importantly did he ever think of her. Even though at that point, Tim had not been part of her life for 6 years, in a way he had still always been present.

Grandpa had done good job with helping mom raise her and Lou, but Amy still couldn't deny she had not thought about what it would be like to have a dad. Grandpa had always painted Tim to her as a bad guy, and the times mom had talked about her ex-husband had been far and between, which had made Amy careful. Back then, she had not understood why things had been the way they had been and why couldn't her dad just be there with them because she had wanted it.

Even though that was all in the past, the question now was, did she want the same thing for Lyndy? When she thought about all those nights she had cried after her dad or wondered if her dad had left because there was something wrong with her, would she want to shut Ty out of Lyndy's like that as well? It wasn't that she blamed mom for doing what she had - or Grandpa for that matter, she assumed they had had their reasons - but she was now making decisions that could affect the course of Lyndy's whole life and it was not something to take lightly.

Eventually, of course, Tim had returned to her life and was now a big part of her inner circle, but it had not been easy to come from where she had been to this. Even though things with Ty were different, Amy still didn't want Ty to be some kind of "taboo" in Lyndy's life or keep Ty from seeing Lyndy, no matter what was happening with them as parents. Of course if something would change with Ty to make things uncomfortable or even dangerous, seeing how he was prone to get himself into trouble and the people closest to him as well, she would have to re-evaluate the situation, but right now, she didn't want to shut Ty out from Lyndy's life.

There it was. Her decision. The legal terms and solutions would follow later, but the core of it all was that Lyndy had her right to a father. She would not stand in the way of that.

Amy pulled out her phone and texted Ty.

 _"Call me when you have time. We need to talk",_ Amy wrote, feeling a little nervous sending the message, but at the same time she wanted to communicate and be clear about what she wanted.

Much to her surprise, Ty called almost right away.

"Hey", Amy answered the phone, almost startled by the quick response. "That was fast."

 _"Well, I have some time now, so... what's up?"_ Ty's voice said from the other end.

Ty sounded so casual, not knowing what would soon hit him, and Amy almost felt bad, but at the same time she knew she would have to call her lawyer tomorrow and wanted to be sure that Ty would know what to expect.

"Uh, well, I... I was just thinking that... I'm going to talk with my lawyer tomorrow about... what's going on with us and I just wanted you to know that I'm going to do that", Amy explained. "So it won't come off as a surprise when the papers come."

 _"Okay..."_ Ty said, sounding like he didn't understand why she was telling him this. Amy felt like it needed some clearing up.

"The reason why I'm telling you is because I want to be honest with this process and I was hoping we could do this all while staying in good terms", Amy explained. "I need to think about what's best for Lyndy and I think you have to as well, which is why I was hoping we could both agree with each other on the terms of parenting so that we can made them into a Consent Order."

 _"What-what do you mean?"_ Ty stuttered, now sounding surprised.

"It's this formal agreement between you and me", Amy explained, now that she had read about it. "You know, about custody, parenting time, child support... Things like that."

 _"I know, I get that, but... I mean, we still have time to do that, don't we? So, why this rush?"_ Ty wanted to know. "The divorce's not getting finalized for months."

Amy figured she should be honest. Not only because it felt the right thing to do, but also because she wanted to know what was going on. This was her chance.

"Caleb told me... about Nomi", Amy explained. She waited to hear Ty's response.

At first Ty sighed. She didn't know how to take that. Was it a sigh of "I've been caught", "I'm going to kill him" or maybe something else.

"And before you get mad at him, there's no need to, because I feel like he didn't realize I didn't know. Maybe because... well, because things like this should have been established between you and me, you know, if we are going to see other people while we are separated. And he would be right to assume so, I think, because we should have had that talk. I guess I just didn't realize it would happen this soon, but I don't know if there's any reason to talk anymore, because maybe you've already made that decision for us and he assumed that we might have decided that together because you were already talking about dating", Amy continued, wondering if she sounded bitter or jealous. She was maybe a little bitter, but not jealous.

 _"I didn't. I mean..."_ Ty said, trying to arrange his words better. _"It's not what you think."_

"What do you think I think then?" Amy asked calmly. She was curious; clearly Ty had his own take on this.

 _"She only asked me out during New Year's, but nothing else has been happening before that. And I've never cheated on you, even when we were married or before we decided to get divorced",_ Ty explained. _"Maybe you don't believe me, but that's the truth."_

Amy was trying to keep composed. Of course there was a little part of her that had wondered about the cheating, but it already felt like Ty had abandoned her mentally long time ago, so whether he had cheated with some other woman or not, it didn't really matter at this point anymore. His "crimes" against her were so severe that cheating almost felt like a drop in the ocean at this point.

"Okay, well, let's say that I choose to believe you... what's happening then? With her, or... you."

For a while, Amy could just hear Ty breathing at the other end as he was probably calculating his words. She wasn't sure if he was trying to find a good way to lie or maybe trying to prevent her from exploding.

 _"Okay, full disclosure",_ he decided eventually, _"Nomi is someone Bob and I went to Mongolia with, so we worked together, but that was it, we were and are just friends, just like I am with Bob. There was never anything more during the trip, I swear. I never even thought of her that way and she never did make it known if she had any feelings toward me until just before New Year's. She asked me out because... well, I guess she had enjoyed us working together so much lately, but I didn't know what to say. I mean, she was nice and all, but I guess I had never really thought about dating, especially with her, seeing I've been so focused on my career."_

 _No kidding,_ Amy commented inside her own head, but didn't let it slip off her lips.

 _"I mean, at that point I didn't even know if she was just asking me out because maybe she was lonely. You know how people get during New Year's",_ Ty continued. _"So, yes, it's true, she asked me out on a date."_

"So... what happened?" Amy wanted to know. "Did you go out on a date?"

 _"Of course not",_ Ty replied. _"That was my time with Lyndy and my mom. I wanted to be with them and just focus on that, so I told her I wasn't available."_

"So, have you gone on dates since then?" Amy asked, wanting to know if Ty had already processed if he was ready for that or not.

 _"No",_ Ty simply said.

"Okay, well... if she'll ask you again, what will you say?" Amy continued. "And before you answer, I just want you to know that I honestly don't care what you do with her or with any other woman. But I think if you're going to see someone, you shouldn't get Lyndy mixed up in it, at least not until you know it's serious. And when you do, I think we should talk about it first."

It was already clear that in some ways, Ty had not really consider her or Lyndy to be a factor in some of the decisions he had made, at least not realistically - even though he claimed otherwise - so Amy did not really expect him to get her approval for dating anyway, but wanted him to know that he should at least take Lyndy into consideration.

 _"I don't know... I haven't really thought about it",_ Ty admitted. _"Whether it's with her or with someone else. It's not really my priority at the moment. I don't know what Caleb told you, but I'm not seeing Nomi nor are we dating, she just asked me out, and I was surprised by it. That's it."_

"Okay, well... good to know", Amy said, having mixed feelings. She wasn't sure if she felt as relieved now as she had felt before knowing the whole truth, but in a way, she still wasn't going to go back to how she had been. It was like some sort of spell had been broken after her realizing that this was their new reality. They were moving forward. "I know maybe you thought that I was still holding onto you when you were here the last time, but... I wasn't and I'm not. The only thing I want from you is honesty. So, can we agree on being honest with one another? I know you might be thinking that you're protecting me from something, but... I'd rather you be direct with me. I don't need your protection anymore, but I need your honesty because it affects Lyndy."

 _"Okay, well... I'll try",_ Ty promised. _"How is she, anyway?"_

"She's good, sleeping now", Amy said, automatically looking at her direction.

 _"Good, good. And how's Harley doing?"_ Ty asked next.

"He's doing well too, I'm making progress. I'm sure he'll be with Bryce in no time", Amy filled him in.

 _"Great, that's great."_ Ty sounded pleased. _"Look, speaking of Harley, I was thinking... I want to use the money I get from selling him for Lyndy's benefit. For whatever she might need in the future."_

Amy was surprised. With how little he was paid for everything he did, Amy was surprised Ty was not going to use all that money for his own costs. "Oh...?"

 _"Yeah. And this doesn't mean I wouldn't help paying whatever she will need right now, but I was thinking it would be good to have some savings. I know we haven't really have time to set up any account for her or anything, but this could be a start",_ Ty said.

"That sounds... reasonable", Amy said. The reason they had not really talked about Lyndy's future was because Ty had hardly been there for her present. Talking about future had just not seemed like the priority, especially because Ty's work had always come first. Amy had some savings of her own, but she also knew that she would eventually run out of money and she would have to rely more on her paychecks. The problem was that she would have to have more clients in order to rely on them. "I'll talk to you more about that when I'm done with Harley."

 _"Okay. Anything else?"_ Ty checked.

"I think that's it. You will probably hear from my lawyer soon, but don't be too alarmed. I just want to get things started as it can take a while to settle things", Amy explained. "I just want what's best for Lyndy", she added, making it her mantra.

 _"So do I",_ Ty agreed. _"Thanks for calling - and sorry about the confusion with that whole... Nomi thing..."_ he continued with an embarrassed tone. _"I just didn't think it was really that serious so I didn't say anything."_

"Okay... Well, now I know", Amy said again. It felt a little awkward now, but at least they had made that clear. "Okay. Bye."

 _"Bye."_

Amy disconnected the phone call and sat down on the couch to think it through. She noticed that when Ty had been in Mongolia, he had started to become this two-dimensional version of himself as he had mostly appeared on a computer or phone screen.

Now, as he was living in Vancouver, he was becoming just a voice or a name - a concept, almost, but he didn't feel like a real person anymore. Amy didn't know if it was concerning or maybe just a typical part of separation.

It was hard to imagine having a life with him anymore. Ty probably felt the same way and that was why it had been easier for him to left things behind; when everything was out of sight, it was almost like out of one's mind.

But still, Ty was someone she had to take into consideration, even though he was barely around and knew what was going on with Lyndy these days. Amy wondered if Ty had as much consideration toward them from Vancouver. It was like he was free to do and be whatever he wanted where as she felt like Ty was some kind of cloud that would always follow them around.

That made it somehow even more clear to her; she no longer could deny that not having any type of agreements with Ty not only made her feel vulnerable, but also made her feel like she was drifting in this space between deciding to get divorced and the divorced being finalized, and that was creating discomfort and disorder. It was like up until now, everything had to be on Ty's terms, like he was some kind of official that had to approve the choices she would get to make.

But no more. She had to take control of her own life, be more of her own person.

The more she thought about this, the more certain she was that things needed to be arranged. Amy was glad Mitch had said something because otherwise she would probably still try to believe that things would sort themselves out.

They rarely did.

At least in the way one might have wanted.


	48. Chapter 48

"Thanks for letting me do this, Grandpa", Amy said as she carried Lyndy inside the ranch house, with a diaper bag on her other arm while simultaneously holding onto some files she would need with her for the lawyer's visit. She looked like a one-woman-orchestra with how much she was carrying, so Jack rushed to help her out.

"Of course", Jack assured. "Let me take Lyndy from your hands", he offered and gently took Amy's daughter, giving the mother more freedom to put things down and take off her coat.

"Thanks. I would have asked my lawyer to the loft, but..." Amy said, sighing as she got more settled and helped taking off Lyndy's coat, "to be honest, I haven't really have time to clean up, so the place looks like a mess. I just don't think that kind of environment is the right place to have these type of conversations."

"It's alright - I don't mind this. It's not like there's much going on here these days with just me and Lisa", Jack said, then looking a little concerned. "I have to ask, though... is everything okay? Asking a lawyer to come by doesn't sound like a guest you'd have just over for some coffee and gossip."

"Yeah, it's just... the divorce and everything it brings with it", Amy explained, keeping it short since the whole situation seemed as messy as the loft she lived in. "Ty and I have to make sure we're on the same page when it comes to Lyndy, so my lawyer is helping me to set some rules."

"I see..." Jack nodded, melancholic expression on his face. "Well, maybe it's better that way. Just hope it won't get too ugly."

Even though Marion's situation with Tim had been different and had happened almost twenty years ago, it was still too fresh in Jack's mind for his liking. He didn't want to see a reenactment of the whole thing again.

"We are trying to work things out as maturely as possible", Amy said, not really sure if that was a fact or only a hope of hers at this point, because the hardest part of this all was still ahead of them and there was no knowing who they would turn into in the process. Up until this point, both her own nature and Ty's had surprised her. "I 'm hoping Lyndy stays here at Heartland for the most part, but of course I want Ty to have his time with her as well."

Amy looked at her daughter who had no idea what was happening around her; she was just happy pulling Jack's mustache.

"Have you already talked about it with Ty...?" Jack asked, carefully guiding Lyndy's grip elsewhere as the pulling hurt his face, "if he wants an arrangement of that kind."

"Well, I called him last night and told him this is what I'm thinking about doing - he seemed fine with it. And based on the conversation I had with him after New Year's, when he brought Lyndy back home, he didn't really seem to have time for fatherhood, so to speak", Amy said, trying to keep calm even though their exchange still made her blood boil a little. "I was trying to suggest some kind of arrangement with us having turns with Lyndy, but he said that he doesn't really have the kind of routine I do, so he can't really say for sure when he'd be available - at least not much in advance. So, the way I think about it, it's better if Lyndy's with me most of the time, and Ty has weeks with her here and there."

Jack seemed still a little confused. "What do you mean when you say he doesn't seem to have time for fatherhood...? You mean to say he's busy or...?"

"Something like that", Amy said, nodding.

Jack nodded as well, but looked like he wasn't as assured as Amy. It sparked her interest.

"Why...?" Amy asked, wanting to hear Jack's take for the first time. Up until now, she had not really been interested in anyone else's opinion about this, but now that she could see Jack was dying to say something but was holding back, it made her feel differently.

The patriarch had been quiet through all of this and had been nothing but supportive of her while helping out with Lyndy - unlike Tim who had not spared his words of judgement when it came to Ty. She had appreciated Jack's more calmer approach, even though she knew that Tim's anger came from his need to protect Amy and Lyndy, which while tiring was also his way of being loving.

Amy had a feeling maybe Jack didn't want to badmouth someone he still considered like a son even after everything, but at the same time, it seemed like he still had an opinion - an unvoiced one, but an opinion nonetheless.

"Oh, just curious... Do you think the lawyer would like some coffee?" Jack changed the subject and started walking toward his coffee maker, still holding onto Lyndy.

Amy kept her eyes on him, but was not as quick to move on.

"Maybe", Amy replied, then getting back to what they had been talking about. "Grandpa. Is there something you want to say?"

Jack kept on doing his chore, but Amy could see him weighting his words. "I shouldn't interfere. It seems like you have this thing under control."

"You're not interfering, I'm asking what you are thinking", Amy said. "You haven't said much about Ty for months - it's almost a little weird now that I think about it. I know you don't want to get involved, but... you two used to be close. Maybe you still are, I don't know where you are at this point."

Jack sighed. He figured maybe it was time to say something.

"These last few years have been different with me and Ty, in many ways", he admitted. "You know it wasn't just hard for you to let him go to Mongolia - it was hard for me too, for different reasons, but... it was still difficult. And after that, our exchanges have been brief but I would still say they've been meaningful. I feel like I've always been able to read him better than he'd like me to. You know how it is with him sometimes... he avoids talking about certain topics and denies some of his feelings, but... I guess when you get to my age, you develop a skill of reading people, whether you'd like to get involved or not."

He then turned around when the coffee maker had been switched on, and Amy could now see his expression. Something about the way he spoke made her both nervous and peaceful; nervous because she had no idea what Jack was about to say, but peaceful because Amy could always count on Jack being there for her and making sure she was looked after. She could see from his eyes that he was feeling protective, even though he tried to keep his face stoic.

"The last time I had a chance to talk with Ty was when I drove him to town after he dropped off Lyndy", he replied. "I was happy to do it because it gave me an opportunity to talk with him. For the past couple of years I've barely had a chance to pull him aside and actually ask how he is doing, among other things. During our drive, he seemed..." Jack was trying to find the word, but eventually gave up. He then found another way to express it. "He seemed like the kid that Clint dropped on my doorstep over ten years ago. I could almost smell the attitude reeking on him and see the trouble in the way he moved - and I didn't like that. So I figured I should ask what was going on with him. The longer he lived here at Heartland, the less I saw that, but now... it was back. I figured maybe it was the city's influence."

"Well, we had had a fight after we talked about Lyndy and Harley..." Amy admitted, not surprised Ty had hold onto that energy with him even after that because she had as well. "Or... I don't want know what to call that. He basically said I was a privileged princess and didn't know how good I had it."

Jack looked at Amy with disapproval and pointed a finger at her almost as if thanking her for pinpointing it to him.

"That's what I mean. That's not the Ty I thought I had come to know", he said, shaking his head. "So, I asked him how come he was acting the way he was. He claimed he didn't know what I was talking about, so I told him that I could remember looking at him during your wedding and thinking he meant the words he promised you. He seemed so sincere. I really thought this thing with you two would last and that he would finally be able to settle down and put all the BS he had been through behind him. Heartland really was his second chance, in every possible way."

Amy looked down. Jack had not been the only one thinking that.

"He said he was doing better than ever", Jack shared, biting his tongue, but only for a little while. "That... _That_ really ticked me off. "Better than ever?" Without you and Lyndy?! I can't see how! I had tried my best to be understanding, but there comes a point where you have to demand answers - and that time was then, in that truck."

Amy was surprised how Jack was finally letting it all out, but then again, he had hold his feelings inside for a long time now and when he got started, she knew there was no stopping him.

"I asked him what he thought he was doing, why did he think things had come to this", Jack explained. "He said something about this being a dream he was living and you not being able to support him with that; he told me he was able to help and impact the world through his work. That part about him wanting to help I can understand, but I wanted to know what he was thinking of doing with you and Lyndy. He got real quiet for a really long time..."

"I didn't have any idea..." Amy said. "He never told me about that. He never told me about a lot of things..." she added, shrugging sadly.

Jack nodded. That had been his understanding as well.

"At first I didn't think he had really thought things through. Sometimes things get so hectic that you follow the stream, not realizing all the shores you let pass by you, so to speak, and soon you won't be able to get out of the water", he continued. "So I was hoping maybe me saying something would make him think. But then he started talking, and I could tell that he had been thinking. The problem was that I don't think the discovery was something he wanted to voice. - Now... I'm hesitant to say this, especially with you having the lawyer over soon, but... at the same time, I feel like maybe it's something you should know, considering you are talking about Lyndy's future here."

Amy seemed scared, but she needed to know. "What is it...?"

"I don't think it was the work with Vets Without Borders that took him away as much as I think it was almost like a solution for him to a problem he was having", Jack shared a bit hesitantly.

"Problem...? What problem, Grandpa?" Amy asked impatiently. What was going on?

Jack took his time with the answer, knowing it might change everything. "I don't think Ty felt he was ready to become a father as quickly as he did."


	49. Chapter 49

"What do you mean...? Did he say that?" Amy asked, feeling a lump in her throat. Her emotions were all over the place; she was waiting for Grandpa to say something, yet there was a feeling in the pit of her stomach that already told her that she had been suspecting it too and now it was being confirmed. She just wasn't sure if she really wanted that.

Would it be better to live life blissfully and ignore all the signs when it came to this?

"Well, it's my analysis based on every talk I've had with him when it comes to fatherhood", Jack said. "And the character of his I've come to know over the years. But he's the only one who can confirm it."

"So... he didn't want to be a father, and that's why we are here..." Amy's lip pouted a little, and Jack could see a tear on the edge of her eye. He walked closer and put his free arm on her shoulder. "All he ever wanted was to abandon us."

"I didn't say that", Jack said softly, correcting Amy's assumption. "I only said that I don't think Ty was ready for fatherhood when it happened."

Lyndy looked at her mother with concern and reached out her hand to caress Amy's cheek because that's what she always did with her when she was feeling sad. It made Amy cry, but also smile through her tears. She reached out her arms and wrapped Lyndy against her. The innocence of the little girl had dug her out from some very dark places.

"So... what did he say, then?" Amy wanted to know.

"There wasn't just one thing", Jack said, pointing toward the living room so they could sit down. "Because back when I congratulated him about becoming a father soon, after you told us, he seemed nervous, but I feel like any man would be in that situation. I sure remember that I was."

Amy sat on the couch and allowed Lyndy to wiggle out of her embrace so she could go to the basket that had her toys in it. Her focus was elsewhere which was a good thing, considering the topic of conversation. Amy didn't want her to worry.

"And after that, during the first few months, before he left to Mongolia, we had many talks about fatherhood. He was always nervous, he wanted things to be just right for the baby when it arrived, you remember", Jack said, his glance drifting toward Lyndy. "I don't think things are ever fully perfect, but I always thought you had a good thing going on and after a while, you would get the hang of things. It always happens with new parents. No matter how many books or... chapps-"

"Apps", Amy corrected.

"Right, apps", Jack realized his mistake. He wasn't really up to the date with the technology. "No matter how many apps you use to help you out, the best learning experience is being present and getting to know your child. They will teach you."

Amy nodded. "That's what I've learned too. Of course I welcome all the tips, but I understand I can't just treat Lyndy as if she was like any other kid, because every child is different. She follows her own schedule."

"Exactly", Jack said, nodding. "When Ty's trip to Mongolia happened, he said he wanted to make the world better for Lyndy, which I thought was honorable at the time. You know - that's what every parents wants. His take on it was just different than mine was, but I tried to be understanding. I figured since you two seem to think it's the right thing to do... then who was I to stand in the way. But... then his trip went on longer... and longer. And eventually he came back, almost close to dying. But he pulled through, and I was impressed how seriously he was taking his role as a father after his recovery, I even told him that."

"Okay..." Amy said, still waiting for the part where Jack had come to the conclusion that Ty had not been ready for fatherhood.

"But despite that, I could see he was being plagued by the thought of his own father", Jack said. "And that was why he was overcompensating."

"Yeah", Amy scoffed. "He really was. I never really wanted to say too much, not only because usually it would only get worse when I did, but I guess I was kind of hoping that it would be one of those things when you do it enough, you eventually realize it's not working, so you try something else. Kind of like with horses."

Jack nodded.

"When Ty had that pneumonia problem, he had a dream about his dad, he said. In it, Brad kept telling him he wasn't going to be a good father, but I don't know if it was really Brad at all who was telling him that. I think it was himself", the man continued. "So I told him to relax a little and just enjoy the precious time with Lyndy, because it's going to go by so fast. He seemed like he might do just that, but then he became busy and the other trip to Mongolia happened, and I feel like he's not really been here ever since... And I don't know what happened. He relaxed a little, that's for sure, but he didn't seem to be here to enjoy the time with Lyndy. He only did half of what I expected him to do."

"I'll tell you what happened", Amy decided it was time to come clean. She had not told Grandpa this and doubt Ty had either because he probably guessed Jack wouldn't be exactly happy about how he went about things. "He burnt bridges with Scott, big time, without me knowing."

Jack frowned. "What do you mean? Do you mean by going to work for Vets Without Borders? Didn't that only happen much later?"

"I think that's what he wanted everyone to think. But I found out because of some legal papers from Scott. Ty had been working for Vets Without Borders and left Scott in a lurch, so when Scott wanted him to do what he had promised to do for the clinic, Ty broke the partnership", Amy gave the short version of what had happened.

Jack couldn't believe it. "No..."

He didn't think Amy was lying, but the whole thing sounded insane.

"Yes", Amy confirmed. She then went on much more detail about Ty's actions and the longer she went on, the madder Jack looked.

"Why didn't you tell us any of this before? We could have helped you", Jack said. "We could have sat Ty down with Tim and knock some sense into him."

"Because..." Amy sighed. "He broke my heart, and I was tired of trying to fight for us because I didn't know if there was even anything worth salvaging. He didn't seem to want what I thought he did, so even if you would have "knocked some sense into him", there would have always been that mistrust with us, knowing what I know. It wouldn't have been real. He was not the man I thought I fell in love with. I... I didn't want this version of Ty back. I wanted what we used to have, but it no longer interested him... So... I had to move on, as much as that hurt."

"I'm really sorry, Amy... To think you've gone through all this alone..." Jack was mad at himself. He was known for not wanting to interfere, but now it almost felt like he had left Amy alone by choosing to look the other way when she had needed him the most.

"It's okay, Grandpa. I'm not mad at you, in any way. I think this was a path I needed to walk on my own", Amy replied. "I can't say it's been easy, but I'm glad it'll be over soon and I can move on with my life. That's why I asked the lawyer here."

Jack nodded.

"You didn't tell me yet what Ty said in the truck, on your way to the town", Amy said, trying to bring things back to their main focus.

She was scared to know, thinking that all she may have held onto these last few years had been a complete lie. Most of it already felt that way, but she had still always thought that even if Ty had very little concern with her and the way she felt, at least he wanted the best for Lyndy.

Then again, with all the stunts he had pulled lately, maybe he didn't really know what was best for Lyndy.

"Well, uh... I asked what he was thinking of doing with you and Lyndy", the man recapped his thought before they had gotten distracted. "And he got quiet, telling his decisions weren't something he had rushed into, that he had really taken his time to think about them. He said that when you first told him about the pregnancy, he got scared. His instincts were telling him to be excited, but deep down, he was - as he said - "freaking out". At first he figured maybe it was just the jitters every father gets before their child, especially the first one, is born, just like I had thought. It's a big responsibility, and he said that even though he had gained a lot of responsibility over the years, this was the biggest one yet. So... he started to study everything there is to know about babies and pregnancies, so he could be as prepared as possible, thinking it would probably ease his mind. But deep inside nothing really changed. He always thought he would make a bad father and he didn't know what would help."

Amy looked at Lyndy, playing with her toys. The young mother couldn't deny that she had had her own doubts about becoming a parent as well - every parent probably did - because of her lack of experience with children and her own insecurities. But she had still always known she wanted to become a mother some day; the reality of it, however, was something she had not really faced on any level until she had been staring the positive pregnancy test in the loft bathroom.

Amy knew that parenthood wasn't something to take lightly, but she had still had trust that things would turn out okay - there were no big reasons for her to think why they wouldn't. Of course she could always think of something, but looking where they were now, they had survived it all.

And when Lyndy had been born, she had known that she could do this, even if there was a lot to learn.

"So... he talked about coming face to face with that old feeling of wanting to run away", Jack said. "I don't think it was because of you or Lyndy, but because of himself. He didn't think he could do this, he didn't think he was ready. And he said..." the old man continued with a heavy tone, "when the opportunity with Mongolia had been offered, he had almost taken that as a sign. Still, he had not wanted to say yes, not entirely. There was a part in him that wanted to chase the possibility, but he knew that out of courtesy of almost being a first time father, he couldn't possibly entertain the thought of going, because it wasn't just himself he could think about. But then... he had gotten your blessing - he said, and I quote, "Amy had almost forced me to go" - and he had been on his way. He had been hoping that in a way Mongolia had shown him that home was where he would really like to be. Almost as if he would have wanted to prove this part inside him wrong - with your blessing- that he didn't want to run anymore, that he wanted to settle down and have a family with you. But then... things had not gone the way he had wanted. Ty said that at least in Mongolia he had some sense of what he was doing, but at home, he always had that feeling of wanting to be somewhere else."

Amy sighed.

"And when he was invited to Mongolia the second time around, he probably thought that it only proved further that his place was somewhere else", she continued, almost as if finishing Jack's story.

"Probably something like that..." Jack agreed, nodding sadly. "I'm so sorry, Amy. I thought he had gotten over it all. But I guess some old habits die hard... - I remember seeing it on a circuit with some men; they had a wife and kids back home, waiting, but rodeo was what they knew, so they would rather spend time on a horse's back than helping their wives with something they had no idea about."

Amy was wiping the corners of her eyes to the side of her hand when they heard a knock. She couldn't really describe what she was feeling, other than defeated.

"That must be the lawyer..." she figured, trying to pick herself up. "Thanks for the talk, Grandpa."

"I don't know if you should thank me", Jack said, getting up while supporting his knees, "this is not exactly something you want to tell your great-granddaughter after her husband has abandoned her."

"Maybe not", Amy said, standing up as well, "but it's what I needed to hear. So... thank you for that. You're just the messenger, so I'm not shooting you down."

"Maybe he'll come around at some point. Maybe he'll realize what he's been missing", Jack tried to lighten the load on Amy's shoulders even though he knew it to be desperate. Still, it was hard to see her like this. "Maybe he understands that he shouldn't have been running."

"Maybe", Amy said, as she began walking toward the mudroom to get the door. "But by that time, it'll be too late. It already is - and I'm not waiting for him to come to his senses any time soon."


	50. Chapter 50

Mitch walked out from the bar and turned over on the other side of the door so he could keep it open for Bryce. He had just taken part of the first vets meeting and would have been lying if he had said that this had been exactly what he had expected it to be. Mitch knew Bryce had had said that it was not going to be one of those support groups where people sat in circle and introduced themselves and then explained their problems, but Mitch had had no idea that it would be this casual.

Their group had spent couple of hours at the local bar, playing pool and drinking beer, getting to know each other. He had still been a little careful to tell about himself, but at least he had tried his best to memorize everyone's names and some fact about each person.

Like the fact that this guy Robin didn't drink beer because it made him act "like an ass" or that Kelly usually beat everyone at the pool or at darts most likely because she had been a marksman in the military and had a good eye.

"Thanks, but I can get that on my own", Bryce said when he saw Mitch holding a door for him.

"Oh, I didn't mean it like that, I just..." Mitch apologized, feeling awkward. He didn't want to make Bryce feel like he was helpless just because he was in a wheelchair. "I just figured I'd keep the door open, like I would for anyone."

"Chill, man, it's cool", Bryce said, coming out. "I was just testing you." He flashed a little smile as they started heading to his truck.

"Testing me...? What do you mean?" Mitch asked, walking beside him.

"Well, I couldn't help but notice you've seem a little tense tonight", Bryce said, "not even those beers could get you loosen up. I got a feeling you didn't really feel comfortable back there", he shared his impression, expecting Mitch to either prove him wrong or explain himself.

As the leader of the group, Bryce wanted to make sure that Mitch would feel part of the gang.

Mitch sighed a little. "It's not you-"

"It's me", Bryce finished. "Yeah, I've heard that couple of times. Never from a guy, though", he said, hoping to make Mitch feel more at ease if they would keep it light. The thing that Bryce had learned with the vets - and being a vet himself - was that humor helped, a lot.

Mitch hummed. "Well, it kinda is true. Everyone seemed really nice. And it was fun to play pool and all, it's just..." He was trying to find the words. "I don't know. For the longest time, I've not had anyone who'd understand me and what I've been through, so it almost seems... unreal. Like I can't trust it. And for some reason I just become this..."

Mitch was trying to imitate a tight grip around himself.

"Yeah, I know what you mean", Bryce admitted. "When you've been hurt or you're hurting, all you want to do is hide away all those wounds, so no one can get to them, even if all they want to do is help. Sometimes you even lash out to keep people away... That's what I did."

"You did?" Mitch asked. Bryce seemed like such a nice guy it was hard to imagine him being mean even though everyone probably had a dark side.

Bryce nodded.

"Oh yeah. Looking back now, I was such an ass. But I guess that was part of my journey. I feel bad for everyone I was around at that time, but I've tried my best to apologize my past behavior - and more importantly, change it. Thankfully everyone has been really understanding, sometimes even when I haven't deserved it", he hummed, humbled by people's grace. "The thing I've found is that if you're having a trouble with someone else, the first thing you should do is look at yourself and check if you have a connection with yourself or not. If not, well, that explains a lot. We have to fix the connection with ourselves before we can connect with each other."

Mitch looked down as he walked on. Bryce's words made sense. He could sense that he was not really connected with his memories and emotions and that had made him act in a way that had either made him push others away or hold people so tightly that they would feel almost suffocated. That was probably the reason why he had not really been able to keep people in his life - and the people that were part of his life, he had been able to keep at the arm's length so they would not see the real him.

"I feel so stupid", Mitch admitted.

"Why so?" Bryce was curious.

"I have this amazing opportunity to connect with people who probably would understand me more than anyone and all I do is stand there like an idiot and not say anything", Mitch explained.

Bryce hummed.

"Oh, that's not being stupid, that's just survival instinct. You think all those people in the group opened their mouth the first time they were there? No way. Some even came by like 20 times before they could tell anything, even a little thing. And I don't expect them to either, it's like... you share if you want. If you don't, I don't care, but the fact that they keep coming back tells me that they at least want to connect. The thing with most vets is that they've seen the side of life not many people have. They've seen death, so it makes life more real to them. It's crazy; these days death is more present than ever through media and yet it's very institutionalized at the end of the day. People usually die in hospitals, not in someone else's arms. But when you see that kind of stuff... it makes you think how easy everything is to lose. How you've already lost something. Part of yourself, your friends, your family, whatever it may be. It's just not normal to have someone go through all that and come back to this kind of life without it leaving a mark. It's just not. You become careful, even with the ones you love. Especially with the ones you love or who matter to you at least to some degree."

Mitch nodded. Everything Bryce said made sense. He could tell the group leader had been processing all this stuff for much longer than he had and was now more connected with his mind.

"I lost my cousin out there. He was like a brother to me", Mitch said. "He was someone I could tell everything to. After I lost him... I've noticed I had this void in me. Like part of me is somewhere but I don't know where. So, I started hooking up with women, thinking maybe that was what was missing. Love... or something like that. Something that would make life feel like life again", he scoffed, feeling stupid. "Downloaded this dating app and actually matched with someone."

"Oh yeah?" Bryce asked with a teasing tone in his voice.

"Yeah, and it was a mess at first, but then I thought maybe it wasn't just fooling around I was looking. She seemed like the kind of woman who was looking for someone to be by her side", he confessed, not feeling too proudly about it now, but realizing he couldn't pretend to be perfect when he wasn't - he had to admit the sides of him that weren't so flattering as well. "She had kids and I... I don't know, I started liking hanging out with those kids just like I liked being with her too and it sort of made me realize that maybe it was a family I was looking for. And the more I thought about it, the better is started to sound. The problem was that we were actually in very different phases in our lives. Her kids were old enough to get by on their own - well, to some extent - and so she had more time to do things and that's why she realized that she wanted to pursue some career options that took her elsewhere. So... we broke up. And I realized that my initial plan had actually turned around against me. The player had gotten played. I probably deserved that."

"Okay, so life gave you a lesson", Bryce translated. "Did you learn it?"

Mitch thought about it. "I guess so."

"Good. Then move on", Bryce said as if it was that easy.

"I'm not still in love with that woman, if that's what you're saying", Mitch defended himself.

"Is it?" Bryce allowed Mitch to lead the conversation; he was merely someone asking the questions.

It was usually a good tactic to make someone have a dialogue with themselves and help them to discover something about themselves when they had to reflect other people's reactions to their words or actions. Maybe they were in the right, but usually they weren't. "Other people's" opinion or take was often their own voice, trying to challenge some kind of behavior that they performed but their psyche didn't allow them to deal directly.

Mitch was dumbfounded. "You tell me."

"If you've learned a lesson, move on from it. Use what you've learned and go on with your life", Bryce said. "Do you still have that void in you?"

Mitch nodded. "Yes."

"Then focus on that", Bryce said as they arrived to his truck. "So... same time next week?" he checked.

Mitch was still thoughtful, but he nodded. "Yeah."

He started walking to his own truck, feeling a little overwhelmed. It was unclear to him what exactly had happened, but whatever it was, it had left him thinking.

What could the void be about?


	51. Chapter 51

_Sorry, it's been a minute! I've been very busy for the last couple of weeks which is why I haven't updated. But I have a new chapter for you all now - and not only that, I have a little "trailer" for this fan fiction as well. Check it out from:_ _vimeo 329506422_

* * *

Mitch parked his truck in front of the Heartland barn and got out. He had to still take it easy after his concussion, but his horse wasn't going to wait for him to get better and stand around till he was ready to get back in the saddle. The gelding still needed his daily exercise and so the man was here at the ranch, planning to lunge Maverick. The memory of his horse rejecting him after his return to home from Afghanistan was still fresh in his mind as well, so it was also important to let Maverick know that he wasn't going anywhere even when he wasn't riding.

As he walked inside the barn, Mitch saw Jade, holding Lyndy on her other arm and taking pictures of Phoenix with her phone.

"That's a pretty horse, isn't it?" she spoke to the child as Lyndy watched the beautiful animal in front of them. "His name is Phoenix. Can you say Phoenix? - No? Yeah, that might be a bit difficult for you to say just yet..."

"Hey", Mitch greeted them. "What's going on over here?" he asked curiously.

"Oh, hi", Jade said, now noticing the cowboy entering the building. "Oh, nothing much. Just taking some pictures for Georgie with Lyndy. She always wants to know how "her boys" are doing", the young woman explained.

"I see", Mitch said and walked over to Maverick's grooming box. At the same time, he glanced around. Jade had Lyndy, so the girl seemed to be safe, but that begged the question; where was the girl's mom? He had not seen Amy working outside and these days she hardly left the ranch without Lyndy. "Where's Amy?" he asked casually.

"Oh, she's upstairs, cleaning with Lisa. She suggested I'd start babysitting Lyndy every now and then, so this is kind of a trial run; she gets to do her own thing and I'm helping out by looking after Lyndy. But she's also not far away in case Lyndy isn't ready to be alone with me that long", Jade explained, putting her phone to her jean's back pocket. "But so far so good - huh, Lyndy?" she checked from the girl who was not in a very talkative mood even though she took in everything around her.

"That's great", Mitch said, smiling. He was pleased Amy had decided that she needed help, if only to make more time for herself but also to give herself a break. It was good that she had people around her who were willing to offer a helping hand. "Allows her to do more things she needs to get done. Can't be easy to be a single parent with a business to run."

When Mitch entered Maverick's stall, he greeted the horse and gave him attention, almost as if feeling guilty he was not able to do much with him these days.

"Speaking of which... Can I ask you something...?" Jade said with almost an intrusive tone as she walked closer to Maverick's stall with Lyndy on her arm.

"What is it?" Mitch replied as he picked up a brush and started cleaning his horse. He wasn't in a hurry, wanting to spend as much time with Maverick as possible.

"What's going on with Amy and Ty...?" Jade said, lowering her voice in case Amy was somehow able to hear her upstairs even though she could tell someone was hoovering above them. "I mean, I know they are separated, but like... are things not good between them?"

Mitch glanced at the young woman and sighed a little, before saying anything. He didn't know if this was any of Jade's business even if she was trying the babysitter role and was now - more than ever - part of Amy's daily life.

"I think it's best of you to ask that from Amy. I don't think it's my place to say."

"I did, but she got kind of weird about it", Jade said. "When Amy first suggested that I'd help her out, I asked Georgie's opinion about it and and she said it should be fine, that Amy's really cool mom, but Ty can be a little... overprotective. So when Amy gave me all these instructions of how to look after Lyndy, I asked her if Ty was also okay with me doing stuff that way - you know, just so I won't get scolded for allowing Lyndy to be around horses and whatnot because I could imagine that could be a problem with someone who is overprotective of their child. So she got all serious, her face almost turned sour, and she said that when Lyndy's at Heartland, I follow her rules, not Ty's."

"Well..." Mitch weighed his words. "Like you said, they are separated. Most of the time Lyndy lives here with Amy and sometimes she goes to Vancouver to be with Ty." These were just facts, Mitch thought.

"So, I guess that definitely means that they are not getting back together then, huh?" Jade figured. She had asked the same question from Georgie, but since her friend was now in New York, she didn't have the slightest clue about what was happening back in Alberta, and it would be too weird to ask over text.

Mitch had a suspicion that Ty and Amy wouldn't get back together, based on everything Amy had spoke to him, but he wasn't one to gossip. He also knew that Jade worked at Maggie's and the diner was Hudson's version of tabloid media; everyone there knew everyone and their business - he wanted to keep Amy out of the speculations. Her personal tragedies weren't made for people's entertainment.

"I guess time will tell. If I were you, I'd just stick to what Amy's told you and things should be fine."

Before he was able to finish his sentence, Lyndy started wiggling in Jade's arms and began crying. Jade's attention was now immediately drawn to the little girl.

"Hey, what's up? What is it?" she tried to adjust Lyndy's position, but that didn't seem to do much difference. She tried rocking her, hoping to sooth her, but Lyndy kept on crying.

"Do you know if she's been fed?" Mitch asked.

"Yeah, Amy said she fed her before they started cleaning and she took a nap as well", Jade recapped, wondering what this could be about. "Do you have something in your diaper?" she tried to take a sniff through Lyndy's clothes but she was not able to smell anything. "Maybe I should ask Amy..." she was starting to doubt her abilities to babysit.

Meanwhile, Mitch stepped out of the stall to focus on Lyndy too, almost without thinking. Amy was finally having a moment to herself and that was not going to be interrupted, not if he could help it. He noticed Lammy on top of the bag that was laid out right next to the blackboard, on top of the bales, with some of Lyndy's things, like her water bottle and extra clothes to keep her warm.

"Maybe she needs her Lammy", Mitch figured and took the toy and handed it Lyndy. "You want this?" he asked with a softer voice.

As soon as Lyndy noticed her favorite toy, she reached out her hands and grabbed it. She then buried her face on it and sought comfort. After a while, her crying stopped. It was as if it ended as soon as it had started.

"Wow, you're really good with babies", Jade noted, looking at Mitch like he had just worked a miracle.

Mitch shrugged. "I don't know about that. I've looked after Lyndy few times and trust me, it's not always been that easy", he smirked. "But Lammy usually seems to do the trick."

Jade nodded and even though Mitch was playing coy, in her mind he had the experience she wished she had. This job with looking after Lyndy was something she had not necessarily dreamed about, but was still interested in, mostly because it gave her extra money. Now that she wasn't doing broncs, she was looking for something to do to pass the time and hopefully help her with her bills. Since she had no other prospects in sight for the time being, this was something she wanted to focus on and so she didn't want to lose the job.

"Yeah, but if I ever need anything, you can give me, like, tips and stuff, right?" Jade checked. Mitch got back to the stall. "I really want to be good at this, but I have no experience. I want to convince Amy that I can do this."

Mitch thought about it. Now that Amy had finally taken this step forward, he wanted to support her with it, because he had seen how much she was struggling. If Amy trusted Jade, then she was probably worth his trust because she was worth Amy's trust. Handing over her daughter for someone to look after was a big deal. He knew it wasn't really his concern, but Mitch liked helping people, which was why he nodded.

"Yeah, sure, if I can. I'm no expert, though. If it's anything serious, you go to Amy", he stressed.

"Of course", Jade assured. "Thanks, Mitch."

"No problem", Mitch said. "She's a good kid. Lyndy. I think for the most part you won't have any problems with her."

"Yeah, I kind of figured, but just in case you're around", Jade said, walking back to Phoenix with the girl as she liked looking at the horses. She wouldn't admit it to Mitch, but the little she knew Lyndy, the girl had seemed like an angel and for the most part this seemed like an easy gig and if there was any help available, she would use it for her advance to make the job easier. "Don't you work here these days or something?"

"Yeah, for now. Until spring comes and I go back to focusing on my business. I think Amy will be looking into getting a new ranch hand by then", Mitch confirmed. "We are kind of in the same boat, you and I - we are both here to help Amy."

"I guess that kind of makes us colleagues then", Jade joked.

Mitch laughed. "I guess so."

When they both got back to what they were doing, Jack walked in. He greeted them and walked over to Jade to give Lyndy some extra attention as he was mesmerized seeing his great-granddaughter.

"You two busy?" the old man asked from Jade and Mitch when he scooped Lyndy into his arms and planted gentle kisses on the girl's cheek.

Jade was happy to hand her over as her arms were getting tired. It was surprising how much a child that size actually weighted. She made a mental note to add more arm exercises into her routine to stay in shape so she could not only hold Lyndy longer, but be ready to get tighter grips in the spring when she would get back in the saddle, hopefully for more than six seconds.

"I was about to invite Amy and Lisa for dinner, so they'll have an excuse to have a break, but I'm sure I'd be able to feed you two as well", Jack continued.

"Oh, I was about to exercise Maverick actually", Mitch said, not wanting to intrude even though he knew Jack's meals to be delicious.

"That can wait for few minutes, can't it? I'm so used to doing large amounts of food - as I know Tim usually walks through my door around the dinner time - that I did too much again, out of an old habit", he chuckled a bit. "But since Tim's not here, I could set two extra plates."

The truth was that he was feeling a bit lonely in the house. Even though Lisa was living under the same roof now, her businesses and travels equally took her elsewhere, and since Lou and her girls were in New York, Jack was not used to the silence after being surrounded by so much life for years now.

He was almost so desperate that he would have welcomed Tim back on his table with open arms if his ex-son-in-law had been in town.

"Well, I for one would love to join you for dinner", Jade said, seeing an opportunity to eat at someone else's place so she could save her own money for something else.

"Terrific!" Jack smiled. "What about you, Mitch?" he tried again. Maybe the peer pressure would get to him.

Mitch looked at Maverick. "I guess I could join you then. It's not like I have much to do today, I can stretch out this little while longer", he explained.

"Great!" Jack seemed pleased. "I'll go tell Amy and Lisa upstairs. I'll see you inside the ranch house."


	52. Chapter 52

After everyone had gathered around the dinner table, they started passing around the plates and dishes that had food on them. Jade expressed her delight about how fresh the food was as she was so used to eating leftovers from Maggie's to save money.

Mitch too was happy to share a meal with everyone, not only because of the amount of variety Jack was offering - as he himself rarely had more than one choice while eating alone - but also because he liked being around people.

Even though he wasn't really in a talkative mood after the support group, Mitch liked listening to everyone, almost as if to catch up with them.

"So, Jade", Lisa started a conversation, "now that you're helping out with Georgie's horses and Lyndy, do you still have time to work at the diner?"

She then offered Mitch salad as he was sat next to her.

"Oh yeah. Now that Lou's in New York, Jen has tried to keep things running as smoothly as possible and that's why she's given us regulars more responsibility in some ways", Jade shared. "But I don't mind; I welcome the money", she added with a grin.

"Sure you're not overworking yourself?" Jack worried. "I know your mom wouldn't like that, not to mention it isn't good for you overall."

He felt a sense of responsibility over Jade, even though she was already living and working independently, because over the years he had seen how young people sometimes had a habit of taking in more responsibility than they could possibly handle, and if he could offer for some support, he was happy to do that. Jade's mom, Tricia, was busy with her work and Tim was travelling with Casey, so Jack figured they would appreciate his effort as well.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I like to stay busy", Jade said. "Besides, it's not like I have much social life without the rodeo school and Georgie gone."

"You never made friends with the guys at the rodeo school?" Amy asked as she helped Lyndy with her food. She could recall Jade hanging out with Clay, Casey's nephew, but that had eventually been more than about being friends.

"I did, but... I don't know, it's just not the same as it was with Georgie", she answered. "Besides, they are all in the circuit somewhere right now, keeping busy."

Amy nodded, understanding what she meant. She had not really been able to make friends after Soraya had moved away. It felt like such hard work to fill someone in on what was going on in your life and who you were as a person and she didn't have time for socializing these days anyway.

"That's a shame..." Lisa said empathetically. "Don't know when they'll come to visit - Lou and the girls, I mean. Have you heard anything, honey?" she asked from his husband who was sat at the end of the table.

"Nothing. I guess New York's treating them pretty well", Jack said with a smile but it was a melancholic one as he missed having them around.

"At least there's phones", Lisa noted, "even though it's not the same."

"Yeah." Jade nodded, but didn't seem too happy about that. "But even with a phone with her all the time, Georgie seems busy. I guess I just wish we'd talk more."

"I guess that happens when you are somewhere exciting; you kind of forget what's waiting for you at home. Kind of like on a holiday - you have so much to do that the last thing you want to do is be on your phone", Lisa said, knowing it from the experience.

Amy looked at Lisa. She knew that the older woman was talking about the topic generally, but it hit home for her. Ty might have not been on a holiday, but he had been "somewhere exciting" and had apparently forgotten what he had waiting at home.

"But of course that doesn't mean what's home is somehow less valuable", she added, not wanting to make it sound like Jade no longer mattered to Georgie as much. "It's just... new things take time. It's kind of like a skill you're trying to learn; you don't get better at it right away since balancing life between home and being away is not easy. And personally speaking, it's not that I wouldn't want to be with Jack", Lisa said and looked at her husband, "it's just that those things that I do elsewhere provide me things that allow me to have that luxury of spending time with my husband when I get the chance."

She smiled gently and Jack seemed pleased with her answer, even though it wasn't always that easy for him to accept when Lisa was away. But he had known what he had married into, so he tried his best - even when it was very difficult for him.

Amy felt like she needed to expand the conversation from another point of view.

"I get what you're saying", she said to Lisa, "but I would also like to add that you don't have to be too understanding for too long", she spoke, looking at Jade. "I get that Georgie's having the time of her life, but she also has responsibilities here. Like her horses. I know she asked you to take care of them and you agreed, but at the end of the day, they are her horses and if she really cares about them, then she should want to come home, at least every once in a while. Or if she really values your friendship, then she should at least make an effort, give you a call or send you a text to let you know she's thankful for the sacrifices you're making in your personal life to take care of Phoenix and Trouble."

Amy then realized maybe she had been a bit too blunt and almost transparent, so she felt like adding something to soften it up.

"What I mean is that in every relationship, in _any_ type of relationship, there can't only be one who is supposed to do all the work for the two of you. So while you can be understanding with Georgie's situation, you also have to respect yourself enough to know that you cannot just be used to make her life easier for as long as she wants or you'll forget about yourself."

Jack could see right away where Amy was coming from and why she was saying the things she said but felt like she was probably projecting a bit too much to give Jade impartial advice. Not to mention, he didn't see Georgie the way Amy saw Ty. The girl had simply accompanied Lou to New York because that's where Lou's life had taken her.

"But I'm sure if you just talk to Georgie about how you feel, then she'll understand", Jack hurried to tell Jade. "She's not the kind of person who would want to use you for your generosity. All she needs is a bit help, that's all."

Before Jade was able to say something, Amy was talking again.

"Sometimes people don't want to listen, Grandpa. And sometimes the people you thought were kind, were actually not that nice at all. Or maybe they just became cruel-"

"-but that's definitely not Georgie", Jack tried to steer the conversation back to what it had been initially about.

Amy hardly a missed a beat when she jumped back in.

"But they can change, experiences can change them. Moments where they realize that what they thought they wanted wasn't actually what they wanted but instead something they are experiencing right now. Georgie could be living it up in New York and then one day, when the memory of Heartland becomes like a distant dream, she'll make a snap decision to sell her horses, because she can no longer remember what it was like having them or being with them or riding or-"

"Okay, okay!" Jack tried to calm Amy down with a soothing yet firm tone. "I think we all know what you're talking about here, but maybe the time for that conversation isn't right now."

He looked around, wanting Amy to notice that Jade and Mitch were guests who would like to enjoy their dinner in peace and not deal with unwanted awkward family situations.

Amy, who could no longer keep her tears back, got up from the table and walked toward the mudroom. "I need some air."

Lisa sighed and watched after her, then glancing at Jack who looked tired both emotionally and physically. They both knew that Amy going through a divorce wasn't going to be easy, but it was still hard to witness just how lows her lows were.

Jade looked at everyone on the table and then to Amy's daughter, wondering if she should go and get Amy back to help Lyndy finish her plate, but something in her told to cover for her and so she grabbed a spoon.

"Look, Lyndy, carrots!" she spoke with a tone that would grab the child's attention. The little one turned around to look at her, so she made silly faces to help her feed Lyndy not only carrots but a different energy than the one Amy had just had. Lyndy deserved to be able to feel safe and carefree and not worry about her mother.

"Should we go after her...?" Lisa asked quietly from Jack.

"I can do that", Mitch said, getting up from the table. Amy had not only disagreed with Lisa and Jack, and Jade had Lyndy to look after, so he might be the most neutral one to go after her. "I'll see if she's okay."

"Thanks, Mitch", Jack replied, looking as the young man disappeared after his upset granddaughter.

Jack always tried to remain as impartial as possible and even though he was angry at Ty on some level, he also knew that he was still going to be part of Lyndy's life and for that reason he still had to reserve some faith in him, because even though Ty had made decisions he didn't agree with, at least the young man still wanted to be a good father to Lyndy - and that was more than what Jack had expected based on his experience with deadbeat dads.

There was also part in him that wondered if maybe talking to Amy before her meeting with a lawyer had been a mistake.

Maybe sometimes it was better to keep some things hidden, if only for making it less painful for the people who were hurting already. It wasn't that he would have felt like lying to Amy, but more like protecting her, just like he had up until that point. Amy was already so down, it had probably been a mistake to put more weight on her.


	53. Chapter 53

Mitch could see Amy's breath creating a little cloud against the porch light in the dimness of the evening and her caressing her arms rapidly to keep herself warm as he stepped out. Before he even said a word, he handed out her coat that he had grabbed with him from the mudroom and walked next to her, looking to the same direction she was looking, even though they could barely see anything out there.

For Mitch it felt like a polite thing to do; offer Amy something to keep her warm while letting her know that he was here if she wanted to talk. No intrusive eye contact or pressure of talking, just being present.

"Oh... thank you", Amy said and accepted the coat, putting it on and letting her muscles ease a little because they no longer had to fight the cold on their own. "I didn't even think to take my coat when I stormed out and then I couldn't get back in because..." She sighed heavily.

There was a beat.

"I feel so embarrassed... And I have to go back inside... I..." Amy said, shaking her head, not really sure what she was even about to say. "Lyndy-"

"Jade's got her", Mitch told her. "You're not in a hurry. Give yourself a second."

It was the first time he glanced at Amy after walking next to her, and so they looked at each other for a while, letting the trust build between them without words.

"Good... Good, that's good", Amy muttered, feeling like maybe she could clear her head a little while longer even though part of herself kept screaming in her ear what a bad mother she was. But Lyndy didn't need a mother who was full of frustration; she needed someone more collected. "I can't believe myself, I can't believe who I've become."

"I don't know if this _is_ you", Mitch said, knowing Amy wasn't always like this. It was just when something hurtful came up that she started closing in and retreating, and in a way he understood that. "Or you responding to a trigger."

"Maybe", Amy admitted. "I just... I can't believe I talked about Georgie like that. It doesn't reflect how I feel about her at all! Like, if you would ask me now if I think she's going to abandon Phoenix and Trouble, I would say no, absolutely not - she loves them too much. I just... What was being said about people going away and loving it there..."

She bit her lip to keep her tears at bay. Mitch felt like he should offer some relief.

"I think everyone in there realized you weren't really talking about her", he said, hoping it would help Amy even though it couldn't be easy for her to also realize that that meant everyone knew that they were witnessing the downfall of her marriage either. "But there's no need to be embarrassed about it. You're going through something major; I feel like big emotions and reactions are expected."

"That's true. I am going through something major... I had a meeting with my lawyer", Amy revealed. "I'm looking into getting the sole custody of Lyndy and it's... been stressful to go through those feelings, the back and forth, thinking it's for her best and the next minute blaming myself for being so selfish..." She looked down. "I just wish my mom was here. I could use her advice."

Even though Amy missed her mother every day just because she wanted to tell her something, there were times she missed her guidance even more. As tragic as their lives had been when it came to this part of it, Marion divorcing Tim and her divorcing Ty was yet another thing that made their lives feel similar and created some sort of twisted sense of connection between the two. It couldn't have been easy for Marion to make a case against Tim, even though she had had good reason for that, but eventually she had came out of it and moved on with her life.

Amy only wished she had kept a journal about that too and not just her work with the horses so she'd have something to rely on.

Mitch nodded. "Well, for what it's worth, I think it's great thing that you are accepting help. You cleaning with Lisa, Jade babysitting Lyndy... That's great, all that is for the benefit of Lyndy."

"I try to think so", Amy said, turning to look at Mitch. "But I still hate how my life has been taken over by Ty. Like I'm not my own person anymore... Ty this, Ty that... Everyone just sees me through this divorce process, and I have to think about these arrangements and what I can and can't do because of Ty's involvement... It's like I've lost myself in him and I hate it. Am I not more than Ty's wife- or ex, for that matter? All that makes me lash out like this, and I don't want that. But at the same time I have this thought that maybe me having these - I don't know - growing pains is a sign that I'm moving to the right direction, you know. It hurts and it feels like going against the current. Because if I don't do anything, I don't feel anything and that can't be healthy, right?"

"I guess not", Mitch agreed. He was careful with his words even though he agreed. This was a sensitive topic and he didn't want to overstep even when he wanted to support.

Amy sighed and looked around again. "Well, what's done is done, can't wallow on it too much or I'll drive myself crazy. I just need to take the next step, focus on my work and get back on my feet."

"Sounds like a plan", Mitch said with an encouraging tone and smiled.

Amy looked at him and smiled for a little while too, but could sense that Mitch wasn't being very talkative even though he appeared present.

"How are _you_ feeling?" she asked, worrying if there had been complications with the concussion after he had left Heartland to be at his trailer.

"I'm okay", Mitch said, acting care-free. "Still getting back on my feet too, I guess. I came to exercise Maverick, but Jack invited me for a dinner, so here I am." He shrugged.

Amy nodded, but felt like there was more to this. "And is that all?"

Mitch sighed, feeling amused. "I guess I forgot how perceptive you are..."

"So there _is_ something?" Amy checked, having a little a-ha moment.

Mitch figured it did no good to lie to Amy because she was the only one who knew about his struggles anyway, not to mention she could probably read it from his face that he was going through something as well.

"You remember that group you told me about, with that friend of yours?"

Amy nodded. "Bryce."

"Yeah", Mitch confirmed. "I had my first meeting today."

"Really? How did it go?" Amy suddenly felt distracted from her own thoughts for a minute. "If you want to say, that is." She didn't want to intrude, but at the same time was curious what Bryce's group was really about.

"I don't know. I mean, well, I guess?" Mitch made faces as he tried to find the words to describe it. "Everyone was nice and it seemed pretty relaxed, but I... just couldn't open up to them. It was like I just shut down, or something."

"Well, it was your first time, wasn't it?" Amy pointed out. "Maybe it would have been a little weird if you had been able to just blurt out every single thing that was on your mind, seeing it's not really a minor thing what you're going through and dealing with. Give yourself time."

Mitch nodded and now was his time to look down and bite his lip.

"Are you planning to go again?" Amy asked.

"I think I might", Mitch replied. "I mean, I should see how this will go first before deciding to quit. It's too early to say that it would be pointless, right?"

"Right", Amy agreed.

Mitch got into thinking. "There was something someone said at the group, he had it tattooed on his arm, actually", he gestured toward his inner arm. "Something like... Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change... - I feel the pain and... I don't want to be the same."

"Huh..." Amy took it in. "Maybe important for me to remember too."

"Maybe", Mitch said, looking at her.

There was a lingering feeling between them as they recognized that even though they were fighting their own battles, they still shared that same mentality about going toward their fears and that way almost had each other's backs if either of them needed that.

"I should get back inside..." Amy broke the silence after a while. "It was good talking to you, again."

"You too", Mitch said sincerely. "I should probably get to Maverick as well. It's already gotten dark, and I don't want to exercise him in a hurry because of the night feeding time."

"Okay. I'll tell the others", Amy promised.

"Thanks. Can you thank Jack for the dinner?"

"Even when you didn't even eat anything yet...?" Amy checked.

Mitch felt embarrassed and scratched his neck. "I didn't come in because I was hungry."

Amy looked at Mitch, wondering what he meant by that, but she was too afraid to ask so she left it at that. "I hope it wasn't me who scared you away."

"No." Mitch shook his head. "I just... I just really want to be with Maverick, that's all."

"Okay", Amy said, understanding that feeling. She too had a close bond with her horse, Spartan. Sometimes the best thing was to just be with your horse. It was incredible how effective it was with clearing the mind. "I guess I will see you around then."

"See you, too", Mitch said and left to the barn.

Even though they had only talked briefly and not in depth about his situation, Mitch somehow had more faith in himself than he had had before the dinner and his talk with Amy. Maybe it was the fact that even if he was doing most of the so-called heavy lifting on his own, it was still nice to know that in case he needed someone to lean on for a minute, Amy was there and understood.


	54. Chapter 54

When Amy got back inside, the rest of the family were enjoying their dinner. As soon as the screen door slam shut, they all got quiet. It was awkward to walk back, not only because of the scene she had made earlier, but also because everyone expected a response based on the way they silenced themselves. But Amy knew that in order for to move on, she had to face them and explain herself even though probably all of them had pretty good theory about her minor breakdown.

When she returned to stand behind her chair, people's faces turned to her.

"Sorry about that..." Amy figured it was best to start with an apology. "I don't know what came over me. Or... well, that's not true - I do, but... I didn't expect it to hit me like that. I know you probably all already figured out what made me say what I said, but... I guess I should explain a little because I was way out of line."

"Oh, honey, you don't have to explain yourself", Lisa said with a caring tone and empathetic look on her face. "Just... come and sit with us and enjoy the dinner."

"I know, but... I feel like I should because it's going to affect us all in some ways anyway, my next step, that is", Amy said, checking on everyone's facial expressions and eventually looking at Jade. "Unless you're ready to give up on this babysitting job."

"Me?" Jade seemed surprised to be included in this at all. "I'm not. I'm in. Unless you don't want me to."

"I do want it", Amy replied. "Mitch told me that you took over looking after Lyndy after I left, and to me that's already proof enough that you can handle unexpected situations."

Jade smiled, feeling happy that she had been able to prove herself even though she didn't have much experience.

"Speaking of Mitch... Is he still out?" Jack asked, checking to see if he had come back inside as well, like he had expected.

"He went to the barn already, but wanted to thank for the dinner anyway", Amy explained.

"But he hardly ate anything!" Jack pointed out, but then realized there were more pressing matters at hand. "Sorry. You should continue with whatever you were about to say." He gestured toward Amy as if giving her the stage back.

"I know it's not really a secret that Ty and I are separated, but... we are also getting divorced", Amy admitted probably for the first time out loud to more than one person. She took a second to get used to people knowing that. "And that's also why I've looked into getting the sole custody of Lyndy, which means that I will hopefully have physical and legal custody of her while Ty only has legal custody. I've talked it with my lawyer, and we are in the process of making it happen, so I've been a little on the edge because of that. That being said, it's not an excuse for behaving like I did."

"Maybe not, but it's only understandable", Lisa said, knowing a little bit about getting divorced herself. She might have not had children to think about, but she had had a business and her horses which to her were like her children, so divorcing Dan had not been an easy thing either and even though she didn't claim she could fully understand Amy's struggle, she certainly had empathy for her.

"I'm ashamed of how I talked about Georgie", Amy said, partly addressing it to Jade. "I stand by what I said, but I shouldn't have said it the way I did, and I really hope that you and Georgie are able to find that connection again. I love Georgie and I'm so proud of the person she has become and I can't believe I talked about her the way I did, because she hasn't done anything to deserve that. It was simply a bad metaphor to talk about my own situation, one I shouldn't have ever made."

"Don't worry, Amy, my lips are sealed", Jade said, smiling a little. She too had sympathy for her and even though she liked gossiping, she didn't want to make Amy feel any worse because she believed her when she said that she had not meant anything she had said about Georgie, even though it had been hard to hear her even make that comparison.

"Thanks", Amy said, feeling relieved.

"I too am proud of the person Georgie's become", Jack then said and Amy looked at him, "but I'm also proud of who you've become, Amy. You haven't had the easiest road, not the slightest, and there are trying times and it doesn't always make you feel the best, but at the end of the day, you always think with your heart. Trust me when I say, it's not common. People become bitter for less."

Amy was almost moved to tears from Jack's words, so for a minute there, she just smiled and looked at him through glossed eyes. "Thank you, Grandpa."

"You will get through this and we will all be here to support you. You can count on that", Jack said, brushing Amy's cheek gently as she came closer to give him a hug.

* * *

After the dinner, Jade and Amy promised to do the dishes while Jack and Lisa got to spend some time with their great-granddaughter. Even though the dinner had been very emotional on some parts, there were no traces of it now. Amy could hear Lisa making noises while she played with some of Lyndy's favorite toys and Jack suggesting he should pull out his guitar and play them few songs.

As Amy handed Jade the plates to dry, she got into thinking what Ty had said about her being stuck at Heartland. It had hurt then - and it still hurt now because Heartland was the best thing she knew - but at the same time, it was a moment like this when she realized there was nowhere else she would rather be.

Just because Ty didn't think this was the best anyone could have, didn't mean _she_ couldn't think it was the best thing she knew. In all of its bittersweetness, in this moment, she was probably the happiest she had been in a while just from knowing that she had her people and they were always there to support her. The storm clouds were still hovering over her, but at least she had people to give her umbrellas so she could be covered from the rain to some extent.

"You know..." Jade began to talk just as Jack started strumming with his guitar and the people in the living room focused on his private guitar session, "my mom and dad are divorced too."

Amy glanced at Jade and nodded. "I know. My dad and your mom used to... date, didn't they?" she checked, because it had not lasted very long and it had seemed kind of casual to begin with.

"Don't remind me..." Jade scoffed which made Amy smile. Even though Tim was like a father figure to her in some ways, it was hard to imagine him actually being some kind of step-dad to her, mostly because she didn't like thinking her mom and Tim together.

"Yeah, it's kind of weird. But, if you think about it, we could have been half-sisters if that had continued", Amy said, realizing it now. She had never really thought about it because Tim and Tricia's relationship had not develop any further so it had not been very topical at any point.

"Oh yeah, that is kind of weird", Jade too realized the same thing. "And that would have kind of made me Georgie's aunt, right?"

They shared a chuckle just thinking about that.

"Bet she would have loved that", Amy commented, rolling her eyes.

"Well, I don't know. Might have not been the worst thing, considering she already idolizes one of her aunts - you", Jade pointed out. "So I could have been a cool aunt, too." She grinned.

Amy smiled. "Idolizing might be a bit strong word..."

"Well, you know what I mean. Anyway..." Jade tried to get back to why she had began to talk about it in the first place. "I just wanted to say something about that thing you said earlier. About me taking over and looking after Lyndy. I just wanted to say that... this, whatever you're going through, doesn't scare me; you freaking out or having bad days. I've been through it with my mom. Let's just say that she and my dad didn't exactly split in good terms, that's one of the reasons why we moved here in the first place."

Amy listened. She, of course, knew the facts about Jade and Tricia, but had never really heard how it had made Jade feel and so she was interested that the young woman would open up to her about it. Maybe it was good for her to talk about it too, if she had never really processed it herself.

"Are you sure...? It's not too much for you?" Amy checked.

"No, it's fine. I'm fine with how things have gone, I mean, I'm here, aren't I?" Jade replied.

Amy nodded. She was relieved to know that.

"I may not have any siblings I grew up with, but I'm no stranger to dire situations and I can take care of myself. I know it might not be much, but... I promise you that no matter what kind of day you'll have, you can always count on me taking care of Lyndy. I have no previous experience with babysitting, but I have previous experience of being a child of divorce and a daughter of a single parent. I know what a kid like that goes through and what she needs or doesn't need, so I'd like to think that might help me figure some things out."

Amy looked at Jade, realizing she might have a point.

Jade saw Amy looking at her and felt a little defensive because she didn't say anything for a while. "I know it's not much, but-"

"No, Jade." Amy shook her head. "It's enough. I didn't know what I was doing with Lyndy at first either, but I learned. And the fact that you have the will to learn and you have the heart to care for her is all I can ask. And she likes you and trusts you, so... I guess we should make this official."

"You mean...?" Jade asked.

Amy then handed Jade her hand instead of a plate. "Shake my hand if you want to be Lyndy's official babysitter."

Jade's eyes lit up and she grinned wide. "Heck yeah! - I mean, yes!" she corrected herself and shook Amy's hand.

They both giggled a little, feeling excited about this new chapter they were about to enter as they then went on washing the dishes.


	55. Chapter 55

As Mitch was lunging Maverick, he got lost in spinning around and to the rhythm of the horse. The gelding had mastered the pace of trotting around all while following his every cue. Everything worked like a dream, and Mitch was relieved that Maverick didn't seem to mind this type of exercise for a change. The horse was used for working around the ranch, so it was important to keep things interesting for him as well. Not every day had to be a working day.

While working at the fields, Mitch rarely stopped to admire the beauty of the animal under him even though he appreciated Maverick, but here, looking at him from the ground, Mitch realized just what kind of work of art he was dealing with.

Mitch remembered a day when something similar had overcome him. In fact it had been couple of weeks before going to Afghanistan. There had been anticipation in the air, but also some sadness. It had started to become more real that it was time to make some hard decisions and leave some things behind for a while.

Zach had driven over that day with his girlfriend's Honda just as Mitch had walked out of his parent's barn thinking about Maverick and what was going to happen with him while he was going to be gone.

 _"Why are you driving that for...?" Mitch had asked as soon as Zach had come out of the car. "Is your truck not working?" He couldn't recall a time he had seen Zach behind the wheel of that Honda, so it was so strange to see him drive that now._

 _"Oh, I hope it does", Zach had said, putting the keys to his back pocket as soon as he had closed the door. "Since it has a new owner. Don't want no phone calls after the deal we just made."_

 _"What...?" Mitch checked Zach's facial expression to see if he was being serious. He seemed like he was. "But you love that truck. What are you going to use when we get back?"_

 _"I do... I do..." he had admitted. "But not as much as I love my fiancée", Zach shared with a big grin on his face._

 _Mitch picked up the word pretty quickly. "Wait... Fiancée...? You mean-"_

 _Zach nodded smugly. "That's right! Mel and I are engaged to be married!"_

 _"But- Since when?!" Mitch said with a confused tone but realized this was time for congratulating, so he came to hug his cousin._

 _"Since today", Zach told him, giving Mitch a hug back._

 _"Congratulations!" Mitch said as he patted Zach's back. "So wait... what does this have to do with your truck?"_

 _"Well, I needed a little money. For the ring, for the wedding... So I sold my truck", Zach explained, leaning back from the hug. "We're kind of on a schedule here."_

 _Mitch looked at him. "You planning on getting married before we go?" he checked to see if he had understood correctly. Zach nodded, and Mitch whistled a little. "Well, you weren't kidding when you said you were on a schedule..."_

 _"I know it's kind of fast, but then again we've been together for - what - seven years. I feel like it's time", Zach explained. "And you know, maybe it'll make me a better soldier, to have a wife waiting back home", he added with a wink._

 _Mitch nodded, but wasn't sure if Zach was rushing into it a bit too fast. Then again he had always been spontaneous like that and he did have a point; Mel and him had been together for years, so it wasn't like this was a woman he had just met. Maybe he was just a little stunned about it still._

 _"Yeah, I mean... if she said yes, then I guess she agrees, right?" Mitch figured._

 _"Yup. - Hey... how did it go with Maverick? You got from him what you asked?" Zach checked. "Hope you didn't lower the price too much, he's a great horse, absolutely worth of what you were thinking of asking."_

 _Mitch avoided looking at Zach all of a sudden and seemed a little uncomfortable. He didn't even have to say anything before his cousin figured it out._

 _"You didn't sell him, did you...?"_

 _"I couldn't!" Mitch finally blurted out. "It just didn't seem right."_

 _"Weren't you the one who said that you're starting a new life and this is just the first step?" Zach checked. "You aren't going to be around here after we come back, you're going to apply for that job in the city, right? So why prolong selling Maverick?"_

 _"Well, yeah, but..." Mitch started, but couldn't come up with a reasonable explanation. "I just felt like our story together isn't over yet. I don't know how to explain it better. Maybe I don't get the job in the city when we come back, so selling him would be premature. Things might be different then."_

 _"You could lease him?" Zach suggested._

 _"Maybe. I still haven't decided", Mitch said. For him, it would be best if mom and dad would look after him while he was gone. That way Maverick wouldn't have to get used to so many changes._

 _"You're such a sentimentalist", Zach sighed. "I mean, look at me - even I was able to sell my truck - and you know how much I loved that truck!"_

 _Mitch scoffed. "That's different; Maverick's a living being."_

 _"Okay, fine", Zach said. "Maybe that'll make us both better soldiers, having something here waiting for us. For me it's a wife, for you it's a horse. Probably your longest relationship with anyone", he teased._

 _"Hey, that's not fair", Mitch rejected his accusation. "I've just not found the right woman yet. Not everyone gets as lucky as you."_

 _Zach wasn't convinced but let his cousin have this. "If that's what you say. - Hey, speaking of commitments; do you think you could commit to being a best man at my wedding?"_

 _"Of course!" Mitch remembered promising and then them laughing, thinking things were only going to get better from there._

In the present, Mitch didn't realize he had stopped until someone was poking his shoulder. He looked over it and felt Maverick's warm air against his cheek.

"Oh, hey, buddy", Mitch greeted him, feeling a little choked up. He had gotten lost in his thoughts and had not realized he had completely forgotten about the horse.

Seemed like Maverick had not forgot about him, though, as it seemed like they had done an unintentional join-up.

"You're a good boy..." Mitch talked to him, caressing the horse's silky muzzle. "I was right about you... Our story wasn't over yet... I'm sorry I left you, but I'm glad I was able to come back... So thank you for waiting. You made coming home better."

Amy's words about Georgie forgetting home and her horses had struck a chord with him. Things had gotten heated at the table, so he had not wanted to butt in, but knew from experience that if home really was where your heart was, you never forgot about it or the ones that made it home to begin with. He never had, but then again the horrors he had seen had probably made him long for it even more.

Mitch then turned to look at the horse and brushed Maverick's cheek as he continued talking.

"I know people might think it's weird that my longest lasting relationship has been with you, but... for me, it's not a bad thing. You're one of the few that I've been able to trust and depend on", Mitch spoke and scoffed. "Zach should see us now. He would probably shake his head if he did, though", he added with a smile, but it came out more like a soothing gesture for himself as he could feel his eyes water.

Coming back home had been the hardest thing he had ever done but he had remembered being happy because at least he had had his brother in arms by his side, one who had shared the experience and was someone he could talk about it. But for Zach, it had been harder, it had been too much, and he had decided to put an end to it all by killing himself. To think he wouldn't have had Maverick then, Mitch might have lost all his hope.

But things had not been easy for them either. Maverick had had hard time accepting him back and their dynamic had changed. Thankfully now, with the help of Amy, they were back to being like they were, and even though Maverick couldn't exactly understand how he felt and why he felt the way he did, he still comforted him and knew exactly what to do. Fighting for them and fixing the relationship had made it worth even more for Mitch.

Still, there were some things that still needed fixing.

With the support group, he had a new chance. Maybe it wasn't exactly like it had been with Zach - not to mention he had had his own demons to deal with - but it was still something. He was not alone, and Maverick wasn't the only one who could understand him.

Tomorrow was going to be a new day and he was not going to take it for granted.

"We should get inside", Mitch finally said to the horse as he tried to clear his throat. "You did good, boy. You did good."


	56. Chapter 56

Amy walked inside the barn with Jade, holding a plastic container with food in it in hand. She looked around and saw Mitch inside Maverick's stall, kind of where she had expected to find him in the first place.

"You can take Lyndy upstairs", Amy instructed her new babysitter.

The younger woman nodded and started walking toward the staircase, but for some reason stopped before she could open the door and enter the loft. Her curiosity got the best of her. She stayed and listened, feeling a little bad but at the same time she couldn't help her nosiness. Jade knew that Amy had dinner to offer for Mitch, but she couldn't shake the feeling that maybe there would be something else as well since Amy did not expect her to stick around.

"Hey", Amy said as she walked to see Mitch. The man glanced at her over the stall door and nodded as a greeting. "Lisa sent you this. She felt bad that you didn't get to eat and wanted you to have this. I guess I should be the one apologizing for ruining the dinner, but... anyway."

"Thanks. You people are too kind", Mitch said, feeling lucky to have people who worried about him even when he was fine. "And you didn't ruin anything. I just needed to see Maverick. I guess I kind of missed being around him, I'm sure you understand." He smiled a little, knowing Amy understood the relationship people could have with their horses.

Amy smiled a little and lingered. "Can I ask you something...?"

"Yeah", Mitch said, continuing cleaning Maverick.

"What did you mean when you said that... you didn't come for dinner, but you came inside anyway? Or something like that. You know, at the porch", Amy nodded toward the ranch house's general direction.

Mitch stopped what he was doing and thought about that. He hummed.

"To be honest, I'm not even sure. I guess I meant that... I like being around you people. I spend so much time at my trailer that it gets kind of lonely sometimes. And then there's people like you - I mean, all of you - and you offer me dinner... I don't know, there's just something about that I miss. Having a family, I guess", he finally said. "I know it might not seem like it, since I left, but I do appreciate you involving me in things."

"What about your own family? I mean your parents, don't they live somewhere close?" Amy asked, a bit worried about Mitch. She had not liked the thought of him alone when he had injured himself, but maybe there was more to be worried about.

"Well, they moved a bit further way after they sold Saddle Road Ranch and after mom's stroke, but I don't visit them as often and they don't really visit me. I guess we're both kind of busy with our lives", Mitch said. "But it's fine, I'm fine", he added when he saw Amy's concerned look. "This isn't a pity party for me, all I was saying was that it's nice to be around you people, that's all."

Amy nodded, understanding. "Well, I doubt anyone minds you being around here. I feel like in some ways we already consider you family", she added, smiling a little.

"That's nice", Mitch replied, feeling honored. He had not even dared to assume that even though he spent a lot of time here and knew everyone pretty well.

"Anyway. I'll leave this on the bale. Don't forget it", Amy said, stepping back and putting the container on top of a bale so it would be visible for Mitch before he'd leave.

"Okay. Do you want me to do the night check?" Mitch asked. "I wouldn't mind. I'm trying to ease back into working."

"Could you? I have few things I have to show to Jade. She's just started babysitting Lyndy and there's some things she should probably know."

"Yeah, don't worry about it. Like I said, it's not a problem", Mitch assured.

"Thanks, Mitch", Amy said, then turning around as she started to head toward the staircase which then alerted Jade. She quickly went in the loft and rushed the stairs up, but Amy could still hear her footsteps as they only just now got above her.

Amy followed her to upstairs and found Jade acting as if she had been sitting on the couch all this time. She gave her a questioning look, but the babysitter ignored it, and Amy eventually decided it wasn't even a big deal.

"We should probably look into few things. I was thinking Lyndy could have a bath today", Amy suggested. "Have you ever given a child a bath before?"

"No, but I can learn", Jade said, holding Lyndy. She was very eager to please.

"Okay, well-" Amy started but then stopped as she could hear her phone ring. She pulled it out from her pocket and saw Ty's name on the screen. It made her heart stop for a while. "Uh... just... draw lukewarm, plain water to the tub. Not too much; the point isn't to make her swim but to have some water available for washing. And keep an eye on her at all times. Wait for me before you get her in, but you can undress her. I gotta take this." She listed and showed her the phone.

Jade got up from the couch, nodding. "I'm on it", she informed and took Lyndy with her to the bathroom at the other end of the loft.

As Amy answered the phone, she tried to be as calm as possible. "Hey."

"What the hell is this?" Ty asked right away, not even saying hello. "These papers that were delivered by your lawyer."

"Well, I guess they are pretty self-explanatory", Amy replied, trying to remain calm. She had not expected this to go nicely, but at the same time, she wasn't going to make too many compromises; Lyndy's place was here with her, just like it always had. "It's what I'd like for Lyndy."

"No, it's what you want for yourself. A sole custody? Really?" Ty seemed annoyed. "Why the hell would you even think I was going to be okay with this? Do you even know what this means?" he asked, acting as if she was stupid.

Amy recognized the tone; it was the same one he always used when talking about how simple she was being, whether it was about her lifestyle or her feelings. It was pretty interesting he was treating her this way, considering he had made pretty dumb things himself that had gotten him - and her - in trouble - and sometimes even life-threatening situations.

"You honestly just think my lawyer suggested it and I okayed it without understand what it meant? How stupid do you think I am? This is Lyndy's life we are talking about, my first priority. But I guess you wouldn't know what that means, seeing she's always been an after-thought for you", Amy said sharply.

"That is not true", Ty tried to deny it.

"Point one moment where she was your priority."

"After my first trip to Mongolia when I stayed home before going back to the clinic so you would be able to work", Ty replied, sounding very proud about it.

Amy scoffed. "It's not like you completely chose that, seeing you were hospitalized and had to recover from that infection. Scott was just being very generous with the length of the leave since we had a new baby and all. I don't believe you would have stayed a week longer if you could have helped it", she said back, "seeing you were always meant for something greater than being a stay-at-home dad."

"What's that supposed to mean...?" Ty recognized Amy had a reason to say that. There had never been any talk about either of them staying home for too long just to look after Lyndy, but Ty could sense Amy was really talking about something else.

"Stop pretending like you would have been happy here at Heartland and that I've just driven you away, that this is all because I gave you my blessing to go to Mongolia and do bigger things and then everything just happened for you and now you're in Vancouver, working for Vets Without Borders. Things only happened to you because you wanted them to. You never had to go to Mongolia, you chose to go. Somewhere deep inside, you were looking for a way out, and Bob gave you it. All you had to do to get there was to get was my blessing, not that you really needed it, but I guess for some reason you felt like you needed to have it, maybe to keep me in check, like you always have", Amy spoke, this time feeling more clear about this than ever.

"Wh-" Ty tried.

"No, I'm not finished", Amy stopped him. "It's your time to listen. Every time I had a chance to succeed, you always held me back even when you claimed you were okay with everything. You never really were, and I think I'm starting to finally realize it now that I'm finally able to be free to me and yet, I still feel guilty about everything because I think I don't deserve to be anything or anyone but this stupid little girl you always made me feel because of your own issues and insecurity. I feel alone and isolated and unaccomplished, all because I wanted to cater your ego. I didn't deserve that, it was never my place to suffer from your issues and it was unfair that I still somehow did and still do."

"Oh, so you're not to blame about anything?" Ty fired back. "Right right..."

"Not saying I wouldn't be, but that's not the point here. The point is that I am finally giving you an option you always wanted: a freedom. I don't care what that means to you, but you don't have to force yourself to be a father or a husband, because clearly it just brings you another set of issues to deal with - and I'm done dealing with your issues. If you sign those papers, you get to be the hero a person like you, coming from where you've come, could have never dreamed to be, as you said, because you've shown me being a world wide hero is more important to you than being a present father or a devoted husband - which in my book, would have been about being a hero. But not for you. So if you really care about Lyndy or if you ever cared about me, sign those papers because it's the best thing you could do for us and after everything you have said to me and shown me, it seems like it would be the best thing for you too. Let's stop pretending that neither of us is sitting on some kind of high horse. Let's just admit things to be like they are and set each other free. You might think that those papers are meant to offend you, but in reality, they are meant to set us free."

She listened to the static from the other end. It was difficult to say what Ty's reaction was without seeing him or hearing any words or any tone, but at least her words had made him quiet, so that was something.

Amy glanced toward the bathroom where Jade was drawing the bath and talking to Lyndy about how pretty the water was and she realized that she would rather be with them than arguing with Ty about something that had suddenly become so clear to her. She had made her move, the rest was up to Ty.

"Think about it. I have to go now to give our daughter a bath", Amy said before ending the call.


	57. Chapter 57

Later that week, while Amy was driving to town to get some stuff she needed for the horses, she was surprised to hear a familiar voice from the radio. Even though the volume was low, Amy immediately recognized the first chords of her grandmother's song.

The radio host introduced the song to the listeners, but for Amy, it didn't need an introduction. She smiled a little and turned the volume higher just so Lyndy could hear it at the backseat.

"Listen, Lyndy... This is your grandmother. Lyndy Bartlett. The one we named you after", she said, checking the little one from the rear-view mirror. Even though Lyndy didn't probably understand what she was saying, the girl reacted when she heard her name mentioned. "She had the most beautiful voice."

For a while, listening to her grandmother, Amy's spirit was lifted. It was as if her grandmother had known she had needed a little pick-me-up.

"They'd fill her head full of stories about places and things that they had seen", Lyndy Bartlett's voice sang on the radio on top of a simple guitar track, "she'd tell her friends about all her plans and now she's a kid full of dreams..."

As she listened to her grandmother's song, Amy felt like Lyndy Bartlett was there with them in the truck, guarding their way and looking after them. Even though her grandmother had died long time ago, part of her always lived in them and especially in her songs. It was a blessing to be able to put one of her records on and feel her presence.

"Small towns can't hold on to dreamers..." Amy began singing along her grandmother. "They grow up and just drift away. And later we'll read in the papers, about how well they're doing today. Small towns can't hold on to dreamers, but the world ain't as a big as it seems. You can live in a castle, you can walk in the sand, but you can't take the home out of dreams..."

While Amy knew all the lyrics to the song, she had never truly stopped to think what they might have meant for her grandmother.

Without a doubt, the song had been about her grandmother's longing for somewhere out there. She had been touring a lot and apparently she had loved it but at the end of it all, Lyndy had been happy to settle at Heartland and raise her daughter with Jack.

Or, that was the story she had been told, at least.

But now, with Ty's situation at the back of her mind and the understanding of what a groundbreaking woman Lyndy Bartlett had been back in the day, Amy couldn't help but wonder if there was more to the story than she knew. Had it really been that simple? Or had Lyndy just made it that simple in order to make her marriage with Jack work?

Couldn't small towns hold on to dreamers? And was dreaming a privilege?

As Amy walked inside Maggie's, she realized it had been a while since she had even been on the town. It was not that things had changed drastically around here - they rarely did - but she felt like she was a different person than she was when she had been here last.

Maybe on some subconscious level she had even avoided coming to the town because it might have been another struggle to deal with.

Entering the building from the tack section at the back, Amy was hoping to catch someone to help her get the things to the back of her truck while she would hold onto Lyndy. This part of the building was more quiet, so in a way it was also a better gateway to ease in to the town life. She carried Lyndy inside with her and looked around to see if there was a staff member available. While her eyes scanned the area, she could see Cassandra walk in from the other doorway and heading to the counter to place her order.

Somehow seeing her made Amy feel weird. The last time she had seen her had been after Ty's drop-off to Hudson, right after New Year's, but they had barely talked, so in a way it felt like it had been eternity since they had interacted. But to Amy, that felt wrong and it needed to be fixed.

"Cass", Amy called out as she entered the diner side from the tack section and caught the young vet's attention. Her friend looked at her and as soon as she realized who she was, Cassandra looked like she had somehow been caught red-handed. "Hey."

"Amy, hi", Cassandra replied with a somewhat fake smile. "Wow, it's been a while, huh?"

"Yeah", Amy agreed with a nod and noticed Cassandra's awkwardness.

"I've been meaning to call or visit or something", Cassandra felt like she had to explain. "I just... it's been really busy and all. And besides, I wasn't sure how you'd feel... about me."

Amy frowned a little. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I just... I don't know", Cassandra shrugged and sighed. "I guess because of the Ty Thing." She was too afraid to use any real terms to talk about it since she wasn't sure how Amy was feeling about it - not that she was really up to date to begin with since Ty was now in Vancouver and they barely talked.

"Oh, you mean our separation?" Amy asked bluntly, making Cassandra nod a little. "Because you used to work with him?" she put the rest together.

"Well, yeah, and I guess we are like friends with him, too. Or something", Cassandra added. "I didn't know if it was going to be awkward. Because I know you and I didn't exactly become friends until he was more involved. And Caleb. So, like... I didn't know if we were still friends with you even though things are the way they are", she continued explaining.

Amy started to understand what Cassandra was saying. "You think I was only your friend because of Ty...?"

"Well... yeah. Sorta", Cassandra said. Amy had not been very nice to her when they had first talked and she had not really liked her either, but Ty had been able to help them to connect eventually. "I mean, you have to admit that we have less in common than we have in common."

"Maybe so, but we- or I didn't ask you to be Lyndy's godmother just because you were with Caleb and because you are Ty's friend and co-worker. I thought it would be good that Lyndy's life would be enriched by people different from me. I can only give her so much", Amy explained, then wondering if this was more about Cassandra only being friends with her because of Ty. "Or... is this a reversed situation? Don't feel like you're obligated to be my friend."

"What?" Cassandra looked surprised, then realizing how this could come off as. "Oh, no, no. It's not that. Honestly, it's not. I love Lyndy and I would like to continue to be your friend, if you want." She looked at the little girl in Amy's arms and smiled hopefully.

"I'd like that", Amy said, smiling. "I don't want any drama or guys coming between us."

Cassandra seemed relieved. "Oh, that's good news! Me neither!" Her gaze drifted back to Lyndy, not that she had looked much elsewhere to begin with. "How's Lyndy been? She's grown up so much since I last saw her - and that's not even that long ago!"

"She's been good", Amy said, holding the girl on her arm and glancing at her too. The girl really was getting bigger and bigger. Thankfully she had some clothes from Lou and Katie to keep her warm as she outgrew the older ones. "I actually just hired Jade to babysit her so I will be able to work more freely, you know, now that I'm practically a single mother."

"Oh yeah? That's really good", Cassandra said and tried to give Lyndy tickles. The girl hid against her mother's neck, feeling shy. "Aww... She doesn't even remember me anymore."

"I think she's just feeling shy", Amy said, caressing the girl's back. "But you should come over sometime. I could make dinner and you could spend more time with your goddaughter."

Cassandra nodded, seeming more relaxed. "That sounds good. Let me know when would be good, and I'll be there."

"Okay", Amy replied, happily. She was glad she had been able to break this silence between them and things seemed much more brighter. "I should get back to-" she gestured behind the diner.

"Oh yeah, me too. I was getting coffee between runs. But it was good seeing you", Cassandra said.

"You too. I'll see you around." Amy waved her hand a little to say goodbye.

"Absolutely", Cassandra said before she was given her coffee to go.

Amy waited for a little while until the waitress was free to talk.

"Hey, uh, Sloane, right?" she checked from her name tag. She had never seen her before, but recalled Lou talking about hiring new staff before her trip to New York. "Can I get someone to help me with my order at the back?"

"Yeah, of course. Let me tell check who is available", Sloane replied.


	58. Chapter 58

When Amy entered the ranch house couple days later, she was surprised to hear tense tones coming from the kitchen. Today she had to do some work outside Heartland and she needed a babysitter. Jack and Lisa had thankfully volunteered to help since Jade had to cover a shift at Maggie's in the morning so she was not able to help her for the time being. Amy didn't mind that as she understood Jade had other commitments too; if she could look after Lyndy at least couple times a week and allow Amy to have some time for herself and work more freely, then that was already more than enough.

As the screen door slammed shut, the voices from the kitchen got suddenly quiet as Jack and Lisa realized they were not alone anymore and they would soon have to take care of their great-granddaughter.

"Is this a bad time...?" Amy checked as she walked in with her daughter and her diaper bag. She didn't just want to pretend she had not heard anything when probably both Lisa and Jack knew she must have.

"Oh, no, no. Come on in, honey", Lisa assured even though it was obvious something was bothering her. Jack too looked grumpy and shied away from an eye contact when Amy was trying to check up on him, but as soon as Lisa came to take Lyndy out of her hands, her focus was back to the girl.

"And you're sure I can take few hours for myself?" Amy asked one more time, just to make sure situation from last night had not changed.

"Absolutely. We made a promise and we'll sticking to it", it was Jack's turn to assure her.

Amy could see Jack looking at Lisa and then Lyndy, probably knowing that whenever Lyndy was around, whatever they were having issues with, was not going to be dealt with because they would always try to make sure there wasn't any tension around the little girl as it would only make her suffer from that energy.

"Okay, well, I'll try to make it quick, but... I never really know how long these things take. It always depends on the client", Amy explained.

"Take as long as you need, we'll got her", Lisa said and held the little girl.

"Okay. Well, I'll see you later, pumpkin", Amy said and came to give Lyndy a kiss. "Have fun with GG and Lisa." She smiled to her one more time as she started walking backward and gave her a little wave.

"Say bye bye to mama", Lisa encouraged Lyndy.

"Bye bye, mama", Lyndy followed the lead and waved at Amy.

As hard as it was to leave Lyndy behind, Amy knew she was in good hands. And she also missed working, so it was kind of nice to get few hours without having to worry about Lyndy's needs for a minute.

* * *

While driving to Bryce's place with Harley in the trailer, Amy got into thinking how she felt now about this whole thing. She had been annoyed with Ty and felt sorry for his horse, but at least now she knew Harley would get a home where he would be exercised regularly and in a way that would never get too boring for him. It had been a roller coaster ride ever since the moment when Ty had let her know he would be selling his horse. Amy didn't mind working with Harley as he was a great horse to work with, but she was ready to cut the ties with Ty in every way and helping Ty sell Harley was one of those things.

Throughout the years, Amy had felt like the job had taught her to be more professional. She always respected the horses she worked with and tried to work with them on their terms, never forcing them on a strict schedule as it usually only made matters worse.

Even now, with letting a beloved horse go, she wasn't feeling too sad as Harley's life wasn't going to end here, a new chapter for him would begin.

As it would for her.

Amy had enjoyed getting back to work, especially with a horse she already knew, but there was one thing that made it bittersweet - the fact that she didn't really have any other clients right now. After giving birth to Lyndy, Amy had consciously lessen her client base, especially because most of the time she had been living with Lyndy alone as Ty had been elsewhere working. So when the word about that had gotten around, the clients had leaved her be which had taken any pressure off from Amy back then, but it was now going to become a problem.

If she was being completely honest with herself, Amy wasn't sure how to get back on her feet with her work, no matter how much she wanted. Her reputation had always traveled from mouth to mouth and if ever there had been any promotion of her skills, it had been because of Lou. Her sister knew how to build a website, design flyers and spread the word around. But Lou was not here, and there wasn't any other clients outside Bryce who could possibly let people know that they had recently worked with her. So, she would need to think of a plan that would let people know she was back in the game.

After unloading Harley from the trailer at Bryce's place, Amy didn't have to look long to find Bryce. The man came out from a covered riding arena to greet her as he knew to expect her already and had heard her come.

"Hey, Amy", he said, waving at her to bring the horse to him. "I'd come for you but the yard is all muddy and I don't like getting my tires dirty if I don't have to. You can bring him here."

"Alright", Amy said, grabbing something from the trailer before going to the arena. She would be prepare to show him around, so Bryce would know what he was getting.

"He looks good", Bryce commented as he was eyeing Harley. "He's gotten some muscle since I last saw him." He seemed excited to have the horse around and it was a good sign. It was exactly what Harley needed; someone interested in him.

"Yeah, we've been working a lot. He's been happy to get something to do- well, after a slow start", Amy admitted with a smile. The horse had gotten used to lazy trail rides and lunging and had become bored, and even if becoming "a proper cowpony" was something new and interesting to him, it had been a challenge to make the mind and body meet in the ring. Harley's mind had wanted to do more but because of his physical state, it had been a challenge.

"Well, why don't you show him around, I can ask someone to get his things from the trailer, if you want", Bryce said as there were people walking back and forth around the stable area.

"That'd be great", Amy said. "Meanwhile, I could show you something else."

While a ranch hand was getting Harley's tack and other things from the trailer, Amy walked Harley around the arena, so the horse would get to know his surroundings. It had been a while since he had been "confined" in a place like this, so Amy wanted him to ease in slowly so he could feel like he was in a safe place.

"This is your new home", Amy spoke to him as he followed her lead.

When they were done walking around the place few times, Amy removed the lead and let Harley take a better feel of the space he was in. She gave him few clicks of the tongue and the horse moved into a faster pace. As he was trotting beautifully, Amy could tell he was also scanning the place and getting used to the voices and smells of Bryce's ranch.

When he seemed more relaxed, Amy started to get him to do the join-up, all while Bryce was following what she was doing from the sidelines. He watched them both with a smile on his face because even though he knew exactly how this would go, it never seized to impress him.

It didn't take long for him to walk behind Amy and touch her shoulder to show her that they were a team. Amy smiled, feeling like things were going according to a plan.

"Always love seeing that", Bryce admitted.

"The show's not over yet", Amy wanted him to know and then took forth the liberty stick she had been carrying around all this time. She could feel the rush of energy inside her as she realized how much she had missed this, working with a horse, showing their potential and impressing a client.

She then turned around to face Harley and gave him few pets and compliments for the good work, then joining him back to the lead. When Harley seemed relaxed, Amy reached out the stick and gently tapped his girth area, so he would get the cue and know what to do next.

Harley quickly lowered his head and started preparing himself to lay down, so Amy released the pressure. The horse moved his hind legs forward and then bend his front lower, eventually laying down on the ground while Amy moved a little to the side, giving him more room.

This trick would be crucial for Harley to know since he was going to work with people with wheelchairs who would use another type of way to get in the saddle.

"Good boy", Amy praised Harley again, giving the horse attention he deserved. Bryce let out few "yeahs!" and clapped as he was happy with what he was seeing so far. Amy looked at him with a smile and felt relief.

She now had a better handle of things and they were finally working out on her favour.


	59. Chapter 59

Amy arrived back to Heartland couple hours later and found Lisa playing at the yard with Lyndy. The little girl was making snow angels and it made Amy smile because even though this wasn't Lyndy's first winter, she was now bigger and could do more things than year ago, so it all still felt new to her.

While parking the truck after she had put the trailer away, Amy reflected how much she owed to Jack and Lisa for helping her with everything. Not only have they helped her with Lyndy, but they had kept her rooted to a normal life throughout these ups and downs she had faced these couple of years.

That was also why Amy couldn't help but feel a little worried about what was going on with them after she had heard them arguing about something this morning. Amy hoped that she had not somehow made matters worse by bringing Lyndy over. But then again, they had assured her that it had not been a problem.

"Look at you two", Amy said as she walked over to see Lyndy's little snow angels on the ground. The little girl got up and pointed them for her too. "Yeah, I noticed. So beautiful!" she praised and came to pick up her daughter. "Did you have fun? I think you did..."

"Yeah, she just loved it", Lisa said, smiling as she was looking at the little girl. "How did it go with the client?" she wanted to know.

"All good. Harley's been sold now", Amy said. "Feels kind of strange, but... he's in a good home, so I have nothing to worry about."

"That's good", Lisa said as she adjusted her scarf better. "It's always hard to give up those precious horses, but... doesn't mean they'd be gone from our hearts."

"Yeah... - Hey, is everything okay with you and Grampa?" Amy asked then. Lisa looked surprised. "I heard you this morning. Well, not what you were saying, but I could sense there was tension in the air. Is everything alright?" she checked.

Lisa sighed a little and suddenly looked tired as she was thinking back at it. "Oh, it's nothing. Just your grandfather being stubborn, is all." She waved her hand right by her face, making a belittling gesture.

"Are you sure?" Amy asked.

"Yeah, nothing for you to worry about", Lisa said and tried to smile again and it didn't complete assure Amy but she decided she was not going to get involved as it was clear Lisa didn't want her to. She had now asked about it and it was probably all she could do at this point.

"Okay. Well... if there's anything I can do, let me know", Amy wanted to add even if she wasn't completely sure what this was even about.

"Thanks, Amy", Lisa said. "Are you going to be able to take it from here with Lyndy?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine now. Thanks, again", Amy said. "You've been a big help."

"My pleasure. Bye, Lyndy", she said, waving with her fingers to the little girl.

After that, Lisa went back inside and Amy turned around and headed to the barn. It was time to get something to eat.

As she passed by the stalls on her way to the loft, Amy stopped and looked at the barn. For years now, one of the stalls had belonged to Harley, but now he was gone and his head no longer pushed over the door to greet her whenever she entered the building. She walked over and looked at the empty hook where his halter had once hung.

She would miss Harley, but empty stall also meant that it needed someone else to fill it. Preferably a horse that would need her help.

It was time to roll up the sleeves and get back to work.

* * *

When Lyndy was napping, Amy took the baby monitor with her to the barn office and sat down on her laptop. It was time to update the Heartland website. The last thing she had updated there had been Harley's "on sale" ad, but that was now gone (and had barely even been there before Bryce had called and asked about him) and if anyone would happen upon to come to the site now, they would see after a quick inspection that it had not been updated in a while.

Who would want to bring their horse to a place that was not necessarily still even running?

Just as she had recalled in her head, Amy found the latest "news" post from the front page and it was about Ty's trip to Mongolia, so the clients would know that he would be gone for a little while which would also mean that Amy would focus more on Lyndy and couching Georgie.

It was no wonder the phone had not been ringing in a while.

As she tried to find a way to update the website, a thought came to her.

What if this was where the poacher had gotten all their information about Ty's family too. It was not like their address was hidden, since they had been running their business here, and Ty's name had been plastered all over this website.

Suddenly Amy felt vulnerable.

The website would need a proper update, not only because Ty was no longer part of the Heartland's team, but also because Amy needed to make sure the website was more professional and not too personal like she had always thought it should be to attract customers.

The only problem now was that the host of the website had updated the layout since she had last used the site, and Amy now felt completely lost. Where was she supposed to find the edit button?

Amy sighed heavily as she realize this was not going to happen as quickly as she had expected.

"That's a heavy sigh", Mitch commented when he came to place the brush back to its place by the barn office doorway after cleaning the stalls. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just... I am just realizing how far I've fallen back with the technology", Amy explained, scanning to see a text or an icon to help her find the way to edit the articles. "I'm trying to update the Heartland website, but I can't find where I can edit this site."

Mitch entered the office and walked closer to take a look. "Can I see?"

"Be my guest", Amy said, moving the laptop a little on her left so Mitch could take a better look. The man leaned down and looked at the page, taking it in and trying to find something that would resemble a menu.

Amy froze a little as she was reminded by their hug that had gotten a little awkward at the end. It was still strange to have Mitch so close to her even though it also felt kind of comforting as he was so nice.

"Let's see..." Mitch browsed the site for a while until he located something that was probably what they were looking for. "Oh, here. See those three lines on the side? Barely visible, but..."

Amy moved her eyes back to the screen and looked what Mitch was showing her.

"You press that and out slides a menu", Mitch introduced. "It has... Create new article, Edit articles, Delete articles, Archive... and so forth", he read, moving the laptop back toward Amy.

"Oh... Well, now I feel stupid", Amy said, blushing a little. "Thanks, Mitch. Can't believe I used to know what to do online. Maybe I had a little more time back then", she realized. "And some friends to keep me up to date with the coolest pages and tools."

"It's understandable. These things change so quickly these days", Mitch said, leaning back and then walked to the coffee maker that was on the side table. "You want coffee?"

"Yeah, sure", Amy said as she began to delete articles that were no longer relevant. "I'm trying to go through all this information and bring Heartland as up-to-date as possible, so new clients can find me and know I'm still here. And maybe make it all a little more professional."

"More professional? What do you mean?" Mitch asked as he began to prepare coffee for two. His experience was that Amy had always been very polite and professional.

"Well, I just had this... feeling all of a sudden. The last update this page has is about me focusing on our daughter, and Ty going to Mongolia. I don't know, I just... I can't help but think that what if the poacher who broke into our loft searched for Ty's name and came upon the site and found us just like that. He must have known exactly where to come and scare us", Amy shared, almost getting shivers at the thought.

Mitch turned around after he had loaded the coffee maker and it was preparing the java. He looked Amy with concern. "Have you still felt unsafe?"

"Not that much. The door has helped a little, but... I don't know, sometimes I feel a little vulnerable", Amy shared. "So that's why I want to make the site as professional as I can. I don't want to just reveal everything about my life to people I don't even know."

"I get that", Mitch nodded, "but... as a customer, I might still want to know a little bit about you. Not like all the details, but like... your personality, your methods... It might make me feel better about bringing my horse here. I mean, I couldn't help but notice that you had some scanned articles about you in magazines there. I think that's a good idea. It's not like you tell magazines more than you want to because anyone can have access to them, just like they can have access to your website. Maybe try to think of the site the same way as you would think of a magazine interview?"

"Well, yeah, Lou thought it was a good idea", Amy said. She had never thought to put them up there on her own. "But after I went to Europe... I don't know, I just had this feeling of... not wanting to be in a spotlight. Like I just wanted to be... me."

Mitch took a seat across Amy to hear what she had to say.

"Too much publicity?" Mitch guessed since he had heard that Amy had toured with a world famous prince. That could have not gone unnoticed by the press.

"You could say that..." Amy hummed, feeling a little stupid again as she recalled all the gossip sites that had speculated about her affair with Ahmed. That had brought so much trouble for her not only because it had made Georgie think she was a fraud but also make Ty doubt her loyalty. No one had believed her anymore, but instead they had all believed what they had seen online because the way the whole thing had been framed had been so convincing, all just to get few extra clicks and traffic to these garbage sites.

"But that's still amazing, that you went there and worked with someone that caliber. If this prince could trust you to work with his horses, doesn't that kind of give people an idea that you know how to take care of horses of any level and treat them as if they'd belong to a royalty?" Mitch said, seeing only the positives while simultaneously being completely clueless about how it had all ended. "Maybe you could add few pictures there from that time-"

"No", Amy said strictly, looking at Mitch. Her cold stare almost made Mitch jump. "Look, I don't want to talk about, if that's okay", she realized she might have come out a little too harsh when Mitch had only meant well.

It had been refreshing having someone around who didn't know about the mess she had made with the trip to Europe and she didn't want to lose that. She didn't want Mitch to think about her like that too, because even though things had seemingly gone back to normal, Amy still feared that it only took one misstep from her and people would be back to thinking she was that fraud they had thought her to be.

"Yeah, it's fine... I'm sorry, I didn't realize you didn't want to talk about it", Mitch said, feeling remorse.

"It's just... I learned the hard way that the press might not always want to praise you, that's all", Amy explained a little more, not wanting to leave too much up to interpretation. Maybe this was her chance to tell her side without anyone having any preconceived notions. "They wrote things about me that were not true and it... It caused a lot of problems for me."

"I'm sorry", Mitch said, feeling sorry for Amy and the fact that she had had to even experience that. "I don't know what was being said, but anyone who knows you would know that whatever BS they were telling about you... it probably had no truth to it, especially if it was the way you treated the horses."

Amy laughed a little, but was not amused. She shook her head. "It wasn't about that... It..." She bit her cheek as she felt tears forming in her eyes.

Mitch immediately got concerned. He was curious, but not because of the sake of wanting to know something that Amy didn't want to tell him, but because he was worried if everything was okay with Amy. It seemed like whatever it had been, it had really hurt her.

"Hey, it's okay, you don't have to talk about it", Mitch said, not wanting to make Amy feel miserable by opening some old wounds. "I'm sorry I brought it up."

"No, it's just that... I feel like such a failure", Amy admitted. "Maybe I have not proved to be what I have always thought to be myself because even my family had no trouble believing those lies the gossip sites were putting out. Almost as if... they wanted to be proven right or something", she added, understanding both Georgie and Ty had took it the hardest and they both had problems with trusting people to be good. "You would think that they would want to hear my side of the story, but no one believed me. They all thought I was in denial, or something. It's like I lost my voice, so I thought it would be better to be silent altogether. I don't know who felt more betrayed after I came back... my family or me. I don't think they've ever looked at me the same way. Or the people that know me and saw it all online."

Mitch listened and felt like in some way he understood even without having any idea what had happened to Amy. Their stories were different, but he too had felt alone after Zach's suicide. Like no one really understood his story or his experience. Even when they knew the facts, they still didn't really know the real story, so he had stayed silent and pretended to move on.

"Have you talked to anyone about it...?" Mitch asked carefully. "I just thought since you helped me to find people that might be able to help me, that maybe you could be open about talking about it to someone too."

Amy thought about it and sighed. "I don't know. It doesn't feel relevant right now anyway. I just want to turn over a new leaf, so to speak. Be like Phoenix rising from the ashes and be someone new, someone better..."

Mitch nodded, realizing people needed to make their own decisions and even if there was a part of Amy that might feel better talking about it, it was not his place to force her to that moment because that moment would come naturally when the time would be right.

"I get it. But... just so you know", Mitch said, standing up from the chair so he could get back to work, "you're not a failure. You will get back up, strong, I can tell, but it's because you were already strong."

Amy looked at him and smiled a little, feeling a little better about it. At least someone had faith in her.


	60. Chapter 60

The next day, Amy sent Cassandra a text, asking when she would be able to come and visit. It had been a while since Amy had cooked more than something for her and Lyndy (and truthfully speaking, she sometimes ate half of the food that Lyndy refused to eat), so she was using Cassandra's visit as an excuse - not that she needed one, but with her schedule it was sometimes hard to make time - to prepare them all a proper meal.

When Cassandra texted her back and let her know she would be available that Friday, Amy asked her what she would like to eat for dinner and after her friend had suggested something with chicken, Amy went grocery shopping.

She prepared the meal all afternoon that Friday, popping in and out every now and then to look after the horses, and by the time Cassandra was set to arrive, Amy turned off the oven and let the food cook slowly in the residual heat until her guest would arrive.

As she heard Cassandra park her truck in front of the barn, Amy brushed Lyndy's hair and put a bow on it so Lyndy's godmother would know they had made an effort. Lyndy, on the other hand, did not agree and quickly removed it from her hair, so by the time Cassandra had reached upstairs with a wine bottle in her hand, the little girl's hair looked like a mess again.

"Lyndy..." Amy sighed with a disappointment, but also knew that she couldn't force her to wear things like that if she didn't want to. In the end they did not matter that much. "Hi... Come on in", she then said to Cassandra who carefully opened the baby gate.

"Hey", she greeted Amy with a smile, but then quickly turned to Lyndy. "Hey, cutie!" The girl looked at her with confusion, trying to remember if she knew this person or not. After a while, Amy picked her up from the floor and walked over to Cassandra. "Why don't we do a little switch; you can have the bottle, and I can take her!" the woman suggested, and they made the exchange.

"Is this for me...?" Amy checked and looked at the bottle. She had expected Cassandra to remember she didn't drink any alcohol. In fact, she had been there once when Jeremy had spiked her drink without her knowing after she had declined any alcoholic drinks.

"No, it's for me, actually", Cassandra admitted. "I remembered you don't drink any alcohol, so I brought my own wine. I'm going to need that after the week I've just had..." she sighed a little. "Hope you don't mind."

"No, it's fine", Amy said, sincerely. "I can pour you a glass, if you want to."

"That'd be great. Thanks, Amy", Cassandra said and put down her purse so she could focus solely on Lyndy. "So... how you've been?"

"I've been... okay", Amy said and went to get Cassandra a wine glass. "I'm actually making the transition of getting back to work. I sold Ty's horse earlier this week and now I'm kind of hoping to attract more new clients. There's a lot to do with our own horses, but I have Mitch helping me, so I can focus more on the client horses on the side."

"Really? Good for you", Cassandra said and looked thoughtful.

"Speaking of work; I heard Scott made you a partner. I know it was a while ago already, but I haven't had a chance to congratulate you, so... congratulations", Amy said as she poured wine into a glass.

"Oh, thank you", Cassandra seemed pleased by the acknowledgement even if that had already happened a while ago. "Yeah, he did. Though... I have to admit, I'm having kind of mixed feelings about that. Don't get me wrong, I'm really honored Scott asked me, but I... I don't know... I guess I just... I know Scott probably didn't mean it that way, but I guess I always felt like I was like a second choice, you know. And I get that - Ty and Scott had their past, and I committed big mistakes on my way to where I am today, so it was not like I expected those things to be ignored, but - I guess sometimes I just think that if Ty had not left, would Scott have ever considered me as his equal, you know. Like, do I really just owe thanks to Ty after all? Maybe I was just... there and available, you know, and what I've achieved did not really weight that much."

"I get why you could think that, but I know Scott, I've known him longer than Ty has, and he's not like that. He's a fair guy. Sometimes almost too fair", Amy said, handing Cassandra her glass while she held a glass of water on her other hand. "And besides, after what Ty did to him... I bet he's just glad to have someone who is committed. And you've been nothing but committed ever since he gave you that second chance. You've proved yourself. You deserve this, honestly. It's not me just saying this because I'm your friend, but because I guess I kind of know how Scott feels like."

Cassandra frowned, not quite following. "I'm not sure I understand...?"

"Well, it wasn't just Scott Ty tricked, it was me too", Amy shared, still feeling kind of ashamed about it all; maybe she should have seen it coming. "He left us both in the dark. It's kind of embarrassing, but at the same time, it's not my shame to bear. I mean, who doesn't tell their partner that they have decided to work elsewhere? And more importantly, who doesn't tell their wife they are planning to move their whole family to Vancouver?"

Amy shook her head, still not believing how Ty had went about it all.

Cassandra blinked her eyes rapidly, wondering if she was even hearing this right. "Okay, sorry, but I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Ty going off to work with Vets Without Borders without telling Scott or me", Amy reminded, but judging from Cassandra's facial expression it looked like this was all news to her. "Wait... you didn't know how that happened...?"

"No", Cassandra exclaimed, trying to piece it all together. "I mean, I knew he's working for Vets Without Borders, obviously, but... I feel like there's something huge I've not been told. - Wait, so... Ty just took that job without talking to you OR Scott?!" She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Amy nodded. Little pieces in her head started to fall into place. "Oh my god, no... I can't believe it! I mean... really?"

"Yeah, really", Amy confirmed. "So... what did you think had happened?"

While she felt sorry for Cassandra too, in a way she was kind of relieved to know that Cassandra had not just been somewhat accepting of the way Ty had handled things - and that there wasn't anything she herself or Scott had done to make Ty treat them this way; it was all Ty's own doing.

"Well, when Scott asked me to be his partner, he said that Ty had decided to step down and move onto bigger and better things", Cassandra recapped. "I do remember thinking it sounded kind of weird when he said it, but I just thought maybe Scott was just sad to lose Ty. I know I was. But now all this gives me a different perspective to everything. - So... how... why..." She wasn't sure what she even was about to ask. "How come Ty just ditched you both like that?"

"Well, according to him, he was trying to see if he could make it in Vancouver, and when he would, he would take me and Lyndy there to live with him. And by that time there would be no doubt we couldn't make it there, so I would have nothing to worry about", Amy said, sounding bitter - which she was -, "and with Scott, I guess it was kind of the same, but through the professional perspective."

"I can't imagine you living anywhere else than here", Cassandra said.

"See? Even you know me better than him", Amy replied with a relief. "I don't know why he thought I would just go with him and be happy. I guess he thought I had become this obedient wife who would not question his decisions. Which, to be fair, I kind of had - but only because I wanted to make thing easier for us. I didn't realize that at the same time I was losing myself. I'm just glad I snapped out of it when I did or who knows how the rest of my life would have turned out..."

"Okay, that makes me feel so bad for you - and Scott. I can't believe Ty would do such thing", Cassandra said, taking a sip from her wine glass with a disapproving look on her face. "Well, I might have been Scott's back-up plan, but at least I would never do something like that to him."

"I'm sure he'll appreciate it", Amy said.

Cassandra kept shaking her head after another sip. "I can't believe I just believed everything he and Caleb told me. Makes me feel so stupid now. And to think you could have used a friend, and I was not there for you..."

"It's fine", Amy assured. "I guess I've come to realize I can handle a lot on my own. I know these last years have proven me that - if not my whole life."

"Still. Caleb just kept saying that he's seen this before, that you and Ty have broken up like zillion times and then gotten back together. That this was going to be temporary", Cassandra said, wondering if Caleb really knew the truth and if he had been covering for Ty all along or was he just as in the dark as she had been. One thing was for sure: this was going to be talked with him as soon as she would get home.

"That's pretty funny, seeing he was the one who told me about this "other woman", this Nomi", Amy said as they sat down on the couch to talk for a while. Cassandra put down her glass so she could hold onto Lyndy better.

"Nomi? You mean the girl they talked about when we were in Vancouver?" Cassandra checked, getting a nod from Amy. "Oh, come on, I don't think that Ty was even considering going out with her. Caleb must have misunderstood something."

"Maybe. Or- I don't know", Amy shrugged a little now that she thought more about her theory.

"What...?" Cassandra asked curiously.

"It's stupid."

"No. Tell me. Come on", Cassandra insisted.

"Well, just what you said. That maybe Caleb thinks there's still some hope for us", Amy explained, even though she had seemed pretty bitter the last time she had seen Caleb and talked about Ty - but then again, had she not been bitter when she had find out about Blair back in the day? "Maybe he was trying to make me jealous. I mean, I almost fell for it, but probably not the way he wanted. Caleb knows us, knows our dramas and how jealous we've gotten with one another over the years. Maybe he was trying to make me fight for Ty and tried to use this Nomi as a way to make me realize how much I still love Ty. But the only reason why I got mad about it because I thought maybe Ty was dating someone and introducing them to Lyndy without my approval. I mean, I don't care who he dates, but when it affects Lyndy, it's my concern too. He's not exactly had the best judgement lately, so who is to say he'll have any better judge of character with anyone he meets now or maybe even decides to date."

"Yeah, I get that", Cassandra nodded, looking at Lyndy. The little girl was caught in the middle of a big drama. "Wow... okay, well, this is not what I expected us to talk about when I came here, but I'm kind of glad I know now. I feel like I actually know more about my surroundings and I'm not just blind to everything."

"I know the feeling..." Amy nodded. "What did you expect us to talk about then?"

"Well, work, actually", Cassandra said. "I guess what you said at Maggie's kind of made me think. And don't feel pressured to say yes, but I just wanted to ask you something."

"Okay, I'm listening", Amy said, sipping her water as Lyndy wanted to crawl in her lap. Cassandra set her free.

"Since we've established that I'm now a partner at the vet clinic, it also means that I have my own clients", Cassandra explained. "You know how Scott has Fairfield and Hillhurst and other, big clients. I inherited some of Ty's clients, but I still need more. I know you already have a working relationship with Scott and you used to have this thing with Ty, but I was hoping maybe you could reconsider something. Maybe... we could do some business together? I would, of course, have to talk about it with Scott, but I just got stuck thinking about this image of us having a partnership of sorts. And now you're telling me you're looking for new clients, so it's almost perfect, don't you think?"

"Really...? Are you sure...?" Amy checked. She would need help with some of her treatments, but had just assumed she would used Scott for that, like she always had.

"Yeah!" Cassandra nodded enthusiastically. "Unless you feel like it's too weird after... everything... You know, the mess with Ty and-"

"No, it's not that. I just... my transition back to work is still kind of slow. I just don't want you to get the wrong idea. I don't know when I will get new clients for you to help me with", Amy explained.

"It'll take what it takes. Don't forget I'm able to provide you clients too", Cassandra reminded. "There are a lot of horses that need help with their traumas when I'm done helping them physically. We'd support each other. This could be a beautiful thing." She smiled warmly.

Something about her excitement made Amy want to invite the thought in too. Her partnership with Ty had not exactly gone according to plan, so she was hesitant, but it seemed like Cassandra really wanted to make this work and she could see the benefits for them both, it wasn't just going to be another one-sided thing.

"Let me just check one thing", Amy said. "You're not planning to go to Mongolia or Vancouver if I promise to consider it...?"

"No. That kind of thing... it's not for me. I had the chance to go and explore my options after the Jeremy thing, but... nothing came out of it, no one was as fair as Scott. There's something great about that, about that sort of loyalty, I want to pay it forward because I bet there's someone out there who needs someone to have a little faith in them so they can get back on their feet and prove to be worth that trust", Cassandra shared. "I like the challenge here. You know, creating a client base, learning about new methods and helping the people around us. I mean, when you think about it, our methods go really well together, don't you think?"

Amy smiled a little and felt herself nod. "They do", she admitted.

She couldn't deny it. Few years ago, she would have not believed it, seeing Cassandra had been so full of herself. But after what had happened with Jeremy, her confidence had been brought down few notches and she had become a better vet.

One of the things that had helped Amy's client horses these past few years had been Cassandra's expertise in acupuncture. It was not something every vet believed in, but Amy had found it to be helpful.

Not everyone believed in her methods either, but it seemed like Cassandra did.

"You don't have to say yes or no right away, just... promise me you'll think about it?" Cassandra requested. "And if you'll say no, I get that too. I know what happened with Ty isn't exactly encouraging and you still need to recover from that."

"I will think about it. Thanks, Cassandra."

"Anytime", Cassandra said and gently squeezed Amy's hand.

"Now... let's eat", Amy replied.


	61. Chapter 61

Mitch walked toward the cemetery gate and opened it for Mel as they were about the leave the area and head back to his truck. It was peaceful at the cemetery around this time of the year - not that it was ever busy, per se, but the typical days when a lot of relatives and loved ones visited the place were behind them - and the new blanket of snow made it somehow extra quiet for their visit.

This all gave them the perfect setting for reflecting the passing of the time. It had been few years now since Zach had passed and even though it was still fresh in their minds, they both also recognized life had moved on for them. When Zach had committed a suicide, neither - nor Mitch or Mel - could ever picture a life without him - and yet, here they were.

At first it had felt almost like a bad thing, that life just went on and had not stopped, even if someone they had loved so dearly was gone, almost like they had always thought Zach to be vital for their living. It had hurt like hell when they had lost him, there was no denying that, but at the same time, they had both still been complete without him and that didn't mean that he had not mattered to them as much as he had.

That had been one of the painful lessons they had had to learn after his decision to leave this world, but at the same time, something in them had decided that this world was worth surviving for them. That there were still things that they wanted to have, even if it meant that life would have to go on without Zach. He had made his own decision, they had made theirs.

Each year, understanding that became more clearer and the pain became more bearable to live with. The love never faded, but the pain did. It had been love that had made the loss so devastating, but it was also love that helped them to heal.

"Hey, what do you say we grab a slice of pie for Zach's birthday?" Mitch suggested when they reached his truck. "Could give us more time to catch up since we've not seen in a while. I know this place nearby."

Mel turned to look at him and thought about his suggestion.

They had hardly spoken at the grave, out of the respect of the situation, and the tension of going and visiting had lingered above them until now. It was as if they were only back to being themselves after leaving the cemetery.

"Yeah, sure why not. I'm sure Danny will be okay with the baby", Mel finally said after considering it. "It wasn't like I told him when we'd be back."

"Great. Hop in", he said and nodded toward his truck as he opened a door for her. She got in, he closed her door and then climbed behind the wheel on the other side of the truck.

"This looks nice", Mel commented as the bell on the door chimed when they entered the diner in Hudson. Mitch smiled at her when she looked over her shoulder. "No wonder you like it here."

Mitch then looked around too and nodded. He had seen Maggie's many times before, but somehow bringing someone here who didn't know it that well made him see it with more appreciation as well. And he loved how it made him feel; it was the place that represented the town and its people the best. The town that made him feel like home.

"Yeah... It's pretty amazing", Mitch agreed, not wanting to make any comments about his ex owning the place. Thankfully for him, Lou was in New York and he didn't have to worry about running into her.

A waitress showed them their table and brought them the menus. After ordering coffee for both of them, Mitch asked what pie would the staff recommend them this week. When they were suggested slices of delicious peach pie, both of them agreed getting that after sharing a brief glance. They then handed back the menus.

As they were left alone, Mitch and Mel got back to focusing on one another.

"So... how's it been here in Hudson?" Mel wanted to know. "How's the business? And the job at the ranch? You're still working there, right?"

To her, this type of world felt distant. Zach had been the country person, the cowboy, and had taken her on trail rides couple of times, but she had never been into the country life style herself. That had never been a big problem for them though, because they had found their relationship to be one of those "opposites attract" type of things.

Now, with her new boyfriend, they were strictly city people, but Mel still found the country life somewhat charming as it reminded her of the good times she had shared with her late husband.

"All's good", Mitch shared as he didn't have to really even think about it. "The business is kind of in the low-key stages right now, even though this is probably in a way the most important time of the year for us as we are getting ready for summer and stocking cattle. But at the same time it allows me to have some time for other things as we are only just getting prepared with the barbecue season."

"That's good. So do they keep the cattle at where you're working?" Mel asked as she wasn't really aware of the ins and outs of what Mitch did. She knew he was in business with couple of other men and they had a contract with this guy who helped them sell their beef. Back when they had made the deal, Mitch had wanted to celebrate it with her and Danny, so he had prepared them few steaks and she had really been impressed with the taste.

"Well, actually, most of the cattle is kept at this guy's, Tim's, ranch during winter, but during summer, the cattle is on Heartland's acres, and we all work together with herding them, looking after them and things like that", Mitch informed her. He figured she wasn't probably looking into knowing all the details, but was more interested getting the basic idea of what he was doing.

"Heartland..." Mel echoed as the waitress returned and served them their coffees. "Sounds pretty romantic. I mean, I'm more of a city person, but I remember visiting that Dude Ranch couple years ago and it was just... beautiful. No wonder you're doing so much better lately. I did enjoy having you closer, back when you working in the city, but I can tell this job suits you better than what you did back in Calgary."

Mitch smiled a little and nodded along.

"You're right, it does. It feels like coming back home. I've been kind of in a bad place for few years now, on and off, and going back to the city was me trying to feel different, but to be honest, it just made me feel worse, more isolated. After I got back to the country, it was like I remembered how to breathe again. I had my reasons to leave, but now I have more reasons to stay."

"I'm happy for you, Mitch", Mel said after they thanked the waitress for their coffees. She informed them she would be back with the pies soon.

"Thanks. I guess it's kind of like this Dr. Hurst treatment", Mitch figured.

"The what now?" Mel asked.

"Dr. Hurst. He was this guy who helped soldiers after the first World War with their shell shock, or what is more known as PTSD these days. He thought the honest work, like farm work, would help ease the mind from the horrible things you've been through. And honestly, it feels like it's working with me."

"Sure it's just that...?" Mel teased after a sip of coffee. "I couldn't help but notice that you said you have more reasons to stay now. Does that have something to do with the farmer's daughter you've told me about? How's that going?"

Mitch was caught on guard and stuttered a little at first. Lou. Mel was talking about Lou.

"Oh, that... That... It's over between us, we broke up. She went to New York and... it just wasn't meant to be. There were too many commitment issues."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that", Mel said sincerely, hoping she had not opened any hurtful wounds.

"Ah, it's fine. Not every relationship is built to last", Mitch said. "Besides, I was probably in it for the wrong reasons or... I went in too fast", he had come to realize. Mel looked like she was listening, so he continued. "I guess after coming home and after what happened with Zach, I started having this obsession about fast living. I kept telling myself that I shouldn't analyze things so much, that I should just do them. You know, whatever comes up to my head", he waved his hand next to his temple, "but I've come to realize that it's just not for me. I'm not like Zach and I shouldn't try to be."

Mel looked at him in silence, nodding a little as she recognized Zach's impulsive way of living. In a way it had been fun, but sometimes it had brought them problems too.

"I suppose I was trying to live my life for the two of us, for me and Zach", Mitch admitted. Mel was one of those people who he felt comfortable being vulnerable around, especially when it came to Zach, since she had been just as close with Zach as he was.

"Well, you should live your own life", Mel said, looking Mitch with concern. "Don't get yourself into trouble just because you think it's what Zach would have done."

She felt herself getting a little choked up as she had always thought even Zach's way of ending his life had been a little "hasty". He had refused help because it was "taking too long" and "he had not seen a way out of this nightmare".

"I won't", Mitch promised and coughed a little. He had not meant to get so emotional right away or make Mel feel sad, especially now that she had turned a new leaf in her life. "Speaking of living your own life... How's getting back to work after a maternity leave?"

"Oh, god", Mel laughed a little, almost as if she was suddenly overwhelmed as she thought about that. "It's crazy how fast the field has changed, even in such short amount of time. I suppose the political climate is to blame a little, not to mention social media. It's all about fake news and click-baits." She shook her head. "I miss the time when we didn't have to rely on things like that, when we could just actually tell good stories about interesting people and not try to trick people to be interested in something they might otherwise ignore."

"Yeah, it's become harder to navigate all the information we've been given", Mitch agreed. "I even deleted my Facebook profile recently, the whole place has gotten too much..."

"Tell me about it. Basically, I could really use good stories about now. There is so much competition going on, and we are analyzing everything, the clicks, the subscriptions... It's crazy. If you're not performing well, there's the door", Mel shared the harsh truth.

"That's brutal", Mitch thought. It sounded like the exact contrast of what he wanted with this country life of his, which got him into thinking.

"It is. But at the same time, writing articles is what I want to do."

Mel shrugged.

The waitress came with their pies and handed them their plates. They thanked her and grabbed their spoons.

"So... you're looking for people to write about...?" Mitch asked then.

"Always", Mel said. "I want to show my boss I still have it. And maybe I want to show myself that too", she admitted.

Even after having a baby, she had tried to find ways to write something, if only to keep those writing muscles going but also to give herself a creative outlet. Still, getting back to work was different, not only mentally - because you were a different person than when you left - but also because it took a while to get to the mentality of writing for living. There were expectations, things you needed to consider and most importantly, deadlines.

"I might have someone in mind", Mitch confessed. "Or how would you find someone who is kind of in the same stages as you are in your life - talented and just getting back to working?"

Mel narrowed her eyes but smiled. "I'm intrigued. Tell me more."

"Well, there's this woman I know who used to have this title of "Miracle Girl". She was able to perform these miracles on troubled horses. She had a baby and now she's getting back to work", Mitch summed it. "And I'm terrible at giving pitches, but trust me, she's a very interesting person. I'm sure she would have stories to tell. And you'd be in awe when you meet her. Not to mention, she's a strong, independent woman. Isn't that just what people want to see - or _need to_ see?"

"Absolutely", Mel agreed, digging into the pie. "So, how do you know this person? Do you think she'd say yes if I'd ask if I could write a piece about her?"

"I would say I know her somewhat well. We... Well, we actually work together. Or I work for her, more like", Mitch admitted and suddenly looked at nothing but the pie. "She's done interviews before, so I would guess she might be open for it. People have found her interesting before, she's been on tours and she's seen the world, but hasn't been in the news in a while, but I think that might be because something bad was written about her and she's kind of chosen to stay of the limelight. I'm not sure of the details, but... I trust you to take it easy with her."

"Of course", Mel said. She didn't like when people had gotten invasive with her after Zach's death, so she understood how to be discreet.

"But I think she would be perfect person for you to write about. She's someone the world needs right now, I think, with her empathy and caring heart. She's down to earth, honest, smart, she has these amazing abilities, she's passionate and intuitive- I mean, you should see her with horses! She worked miracles on Maverick!"

Mitch got excited thinking back when Amy had helped him understand Maverick's problem. It was nothing like he had ever seen. He glanced Mel now with the kind of enthusiasm Mel had not seen possess him in a while.

It made her smile a little.

"She sounds perfect, just what I need", Mel admitted, wondering about the whole thing. It sounded like maybe Mitch had bit of a crush on her, but she didn't want to tease him about it, especially because she didn't know what the situation was. This woman had had a kid recently, so most likely there was a guy in the picture. Mel wasn't looking into making this awkward.

Still, to her, Mitch's excitement was adorable.

Mitch nodded. "She is."

"So, what's her name? Can you give me her phone number?" Mel asked after taking that first bite of the pie.

"It's Amy Fleming. You can probably find her contact information online", Mitch replied, but hurried to add something. "But don't tell her I told you. I don't want to make it seem like I made you do it, because it's not about that. I just think the world should hear about her - and you could use a good story."

"Okay, I won't", Mel promised. "Thanks for the tip."


	62. Chapter 62

Mitch walked Trouble in after lunging him outside and saw Amy writing something on the blackboard. She was thinking of something, maybe the schedule itself, but barely noticed him or the horse when they passed her by.

"That's a pretty impressive snowman Jade and Lyndy have been building outside", Mitch commented, taking Trouble into his stall for brushing. "Have you seen it?"

It was only then that Amy truly realized someone had come inside and she looked around, thinking for a second about what Mitch had said before she replied.

"Oh, no, I haven't yet. Jade asked me if she could borrow a carrot from the fridge, so I figured that's what they are doing."

"Well, it's pretty adorable. You should go and maybe even take a picture when you have the chance", Mitch said and went to get the horse's brushes. "Everything okay?" he asked when Amy still lingered by the blackboard and did nothing even though she was holding a chalk between her fingers.

"I've just been thinking... It's something Cassandra said", she shared, bringing her eyes down from Scott's phone number that was written on the board. "She wanted to know if I would be interested doing business together."

"Oh yeah?" Mitch replied, going back to Trouble. "You mean, like some sort of partnership with you and her?"

"Yeah", Amy said without expanding it more.

It was clear to Mitch she had some type of opinion about it, but something was holding her back from speaking.

"And what do you think about that?" Mitch tried to encourage her to talk.

"Well... I kind of want to do it..." Amy admitted. "But... I also don't want to ruin our friendship, if that makes sense. I mean, I wanted to do business with Ty too, but it kind of ended up tearing us apart. Obviously there were other issues too, but... We both thought we wanted it, but it didn't end up being the way we thought it would be. I don't want that to happen again. Cass said that she's not planning to move anywhere, so at least that's something, but... I don't know. What do you think I should do? Am I crazy for even considering it? Especially after everything..."

She turned to look at Mitch now.

"Uh, well..." Mitch said, checking Trouble's feet. "It's not an easy decision, that's for sure. But at the same time, it might be good to have that kind of relationship with your vet. I don't really know enough about your friendship to know how you work together. Bottom line is that you should do what you want, it's your business after all. If wanting to go forward alone sounds what you need right now, then you should be able to do that and not feel pressure about forming a partnership with Cass."

Amy nodded, understanding Mitch's hesitation of not just giving her a definite take. Mitch noticed his advice probably didn't give much to think about for Amy, so he continued.

"But think about it this way... your working relationship with Ty didn't exactly go according to plan. What was the reason? Was it that he was gone so much, or...?" Mitch challenged, hoping he could provide Amy something to think about, somewhere to start.

"No. It was his poor communication skills and my need to please him", Amy said right away, without having to think about it. She had went over it in her head so many times that the summary of the reasons for their break-up was clear by now.

"Okay, well, how's that with Cassandra? Do you talk? Do you want to please her?" Mitch offered a point of view. Maybe Amy feared that what had happened with Ty would happen again with Cassandra, so it was time to evaluate if that really was a risk that she was taking.

"We aren't afraid to say things to each other", Amy admitted. "We are kind of blunt with one another. And even a little bit stubborn about having the freedom to state our opinions, so I wouldn't say we'd exactly go out of our way to please each other... But that's not to say that we wouldn't respect each other. I mean, we weren't friends right away, but I feel like I've come to appreciate Cass's honesty over the years and she's really grown as a person. So overall, I would say that I might be more frank with her than I am with anyone I know and that's probably why I've come to appreciate her as a friend, because at least she's not afraid to tell me how things are; it's not something I'm used to otherwise."

"Sounds to me that there's definitely potential for a good partnership", Mitch gave his two cents. "But then again, it's up to you to decide if you want that kind of partnership. I mean, you already have Scott and that's been working well, right?"

"Yeah, but I also feel like we are- I don't know, it sound kind of dumb, but so professional?" Amy tried to explain her feelings. "Don't get me wrong, it can be good, but... I also feel like Cass could bring something new. Some kind of... spark, or something, because of our personal relationship with one another. With Scott... it's playing it safe and that's not a bad thing, but I feel like I want to take things to a next level, and with Cass... maybe I could."

"Why don't you try working with her more before you make that decision?" Mitch suggested. "If that's possible."

"Yeah. I might just suggest that. I don't want to rush into anything too fast", Amy said. Her phone started ringing. She put the chalk away and wiped her hands against each other but because there was still some dust on her fingers, she ran her hands across her jeans to get rid of the rest. Amy then pulled out the phone from her pocket and checked the number. It wasn't one she'd know, so she answered with her full name. "Amy Fleming."

Mitch continued brushing Trouble after checking his feet and didn't pay much attention to Amy's phone call until he heard something familiar.

"I'm sorry, what magazine? Connection Weekly?" Amy checked.

Mitch glanced at her way, realizing this was probably Mel calling. He tried to act all casual even though Amy's back was facing him and he was probably the last thing on her mind.

For some reason, Mitch felt nervous. It wasn't as if he had thrown Amy to the wolves, she did after all have a say in what she wanted to do, but what if it would bring back some bad memories for her because Mitch had no idea what had caused her to feel the way she did about media?

Would he come to regret the decision of giving Mel the tip?

"Uh... Now's not really a good time, but can I think about it and call you back?" Amy asked.

Mitch wondered if this was her way of saying no, but still trying to be nice. It wasn't as if Mel's style was aggressive, Mitch knew, so she was probably being as polite as she could.

"Okay. Thank you. Bye." Amy hung up the phone and looked at the screen. She seemed a little surprised even though Mitch couldn't see her facial expression, but just something about the way she stood and moved told him that.

"What was that about...?" Mitch asked casually.

"Some magazine wants to interview me", Amy said. "Not sure why, all of a sudden."

"Maybe they heard Miracle Girl's making a comeback", Mitch suggested cheerfully, hoping he wasn't too transparent. "Who wouldn't like to hear more about that?"

"Maybe..." Amy said thoughtfully.

She knew she had updated that information on Heartland's website, but somehow realizing the world now knew about it had only now just hit her. And if she were to do this interview, more people would know. In a way it was exactly what she wanted, but at the same time it was putting on more pressure on her to think that people still expected miracles from her even though she had lived much more low-key life for years now and was only just getting back to things.

"What will you say?" Mitch continued carefully.

"I don't know. I mean... what would I even have to give to them", Amy said and took the chalk back between her fingers so she could continue writing. "I'm a has-been. Don't people only read those stories to feel sorry about the person in question?"

Mitch frowned. "Since when have you been a has-been?"

"Since I stopped taking as many clients as I used to and then basically stopped working. Who is to say I even have "the gift" anymore", Amy replied, sounding insecure.

"But you helped Harley", Mitch pointed out.

"That was hardly me performing miracles", Amy scoffed a little. "It was just me training a horse to do something it wasn't familiar with. And even then, I got a little help from my dad and Caleb."

It sounded to Mitch that Amy was struggling with her self-esteem again which was unfortunate because if she could only see how others saw her, she would see just how special she was.

"I mean, I'm not an expert, but sounds to me that your gift is the kind that you either have or you don't", Mitch figured, shrugging. "It's not like you gave it away at any point or as if someone gave it to you in the first place. Hasn't it always just been there?" he asked, sharing his understanding of the whole thing.

Amy knew some of Mitch's words to be true. Some people said that she had the gift, just like her mother had had, and in a way she had always wondered if it was given to her by Marion, but at the same time it had always made her wonder how come Lou didn't have it then too.

So eventually she had come to the conclusion that some people were just more sensitive to the gift and if they were open to it, they could help horses with their problems. In her case, she had always loved horses and found them magical, so she had followed her mother's work close-by and studied the things she had done. Lou had spent time with horses as well, but not like she had, so she had not been drawn to them like she and mom had been.

That was how the gift really worked, in her mind, at least.

"Yeah, maybe..." Amy admitted. "I want to believe it's like riding a bicycle, but I... I guess I'm just afraid of failing. It seems like I keep failing over and over again, and I don't want my work with horses to be yet another failure."

Mitch stepped out of the stall to walk closer to Amy.

"On whose standards are you failing?" Mitch asked her a serious question, making her look at him. "Yours or other people's?"

"I guess a little bit of both", she admitted. "Lately I've not been a person I would recognize."

"Were you afraid of failing when your mom died and you took over the horse business?" Mitch knew Amy's history to some degree even though he had not been there.

"No, but I was fifteen", Amy scoffed, "I barely knew what I was doing and I was arrogant and just wanted things to be like they were. If I had not done what I had, we would have lost Heartland as we knew it."

"Arrogant or passionate, there's a thin line", Mitch shrugged. "Maybe you need to tap into that same energy again. It's obvious you love what you do, you love horses, you love helping them. I don't think you thought about failing back then, you just wanted it to make it work, so you made it work."

Amy looked into Mitch eyes and even though he had not known her back then, it was as if he could still somehow see the spirit of that fifteen-year-old in her and believed that same spark was still in her, somewhere.

"The way I see it is that you're busy doubting yourself while others are intimidated by your potential", Mitch said, hoping it wasn't too much to say, but just from following Amy's journey for these couple of years, it seemed to him that she had gotten trapped into this self-doubt when it was obvious there was no reason for that. "It doesn't matter whether I believe you can or cannot do it, it's about if _you_ believe _you_ can do it. So stop thinking about other people's standards. Think about the standards you've set for yourself."


	63. Chapter 63

The next day, Amy was feeding the horses in the morning, when she got a call from Cassandra. She closed the stall door after giving Copper his oats and picked up.

"Hello?"

 _"Hey, it's Cass",_ her friend introduced herself even though Amy could tell from the caller ID. _"Don't worry, I'm not pestering you about that thing we talked about, I'm calling about a horse."_

Amy smiled a little.

"I'm listening", Amy said, feeling a little relieved that Cassandra understood that she had not necessarily made up her mind about the whole thing yet, even though she had feelings about the matter. And on top of everything, she had to think about if she wanted to do that interview with the magazine.

The last few years have asked a lot from her, but mostly they were things she had no control over, things she just "had to deal with". It was refreshing to actually have things to choose from, but at the same time that was the scary part - you always had to deal with the consequences.

 _"Well... it's actually kind of urgent, do you think I could bring her by?"_ Cass asked.

"Uh, um... I guess", Amy said. It was sudden, but it was not the first time someone had just brought a horse by, expecting her to perform miracles. The difference was that usually she was busy with other horses, but now her calendar was not fully booked, so hopefully she could focus giving this horse her full attention. "I'll just call Jade and ask her to come by to look after Lyndy."

 _"I could pick her up on my way to you?"_ Cassandra suggested, figuring she could kill two birds with one stone since she knew Jade's trailer to be close.

"Okay, I'll let her know", Amy said and they then ended the phone call.

* * *

About half an hour later, Cassandra arrived with Jade and a trailer behind her truck. Both women stepped out of the vehicle, and Amy greeted them with Lyndy. She was curious to know about this new horse, especially because Cassandra had not given her any information about her yet.

"Morning", Amy greeted them. Jade walked up to take Lyndy off her hands. "Sorry for the quick call time, but this was kind of sprung up on me. I don't know how much attention this will require from me, but it's best to have someone to look after Lyndy."

"Well, as long as you don't make a habit of this", Jade said, taking Lyndy from her mother. She too was curious to see what kind of horse Cassandra would take out from the trailer and stayed close-by with Lyndy to have a look.

"Here she is", Cassandra said, walking closer with a furry little horse who looked like she was all skin and bones.

Amy could see why this could be an emergency and could already somewhat figure out what was the problem - or at least part of the problem. Usually not eating was a symptom rather than a reason. If Cassandra had done her part and the horse was still not eating, it looked like the problem wasn't that the horse had not been fed or didn't have access to food but rather that she refused to eat.

"Oh, look, it's a pony!" Jade said to Lyndy. She knew the girl loved all horses, but the smaller the equine, the more to her liking it was.

"Pony", Lyndy echoed, looking at the horse with sparkling eyes.

"Actually-" Cassandra began and Amy continued. She had never seen a horse like this before but knew it from the books.

"It's not a pony even though it looks like one. It's an Icelandic horse. They are much smaller than the horses around here", Amy said, getting closer to meet the client. Cassandra stopped the horse and let Amy have a look at her. "I can pretty much guess already..." she said to Cassandra with a concerned tone and looked at the sides where outlines of the horse's ribs were visible under the fuzzy gray coat.

"She's not been eating ever since coming to Canada", Cassandra confirmed.

"Is there something medically wrong with her that I should know about?" Amy had to ask first.

"No. She's, well, healthy as a horse, just not eating. I feel like it's more a mental thing than it is a physical problem", Cassandra gave her analysis. "I was hoping maybe you could figure it out."

"I can surely try", Amy promised. She never turned away a horse in need and this would be no exception. "What's her name?"

Cassandra hummed a little. "She had some fancy name I can't probably even pronounce correctly, but the owner called her Bruni."

"Bruni, huh?" Amy checked. Cassandra nodded. "Alright, Bruni. Let's get you to the open shed", she took the lead while Cassandra went to close up the trailer.

Jade followed them, curious to have a closer look of Amy working with a new horse, especially the kind she had never seen before.

"Why don't you take her inside, with the other horses?" Jade asked.

Amy didn't mind Jade following her as she had always considered her job to be about teaching people something new about horses and how to treat them.

"Well, for couple of reasons", Amy said. "She's from Iceland, so my guess is that she's been isolated from the other horses by the owner for a while now and I don't want to risk her getting anything from the other horses here even if everything seems to be fine with them. But she's more prone of getting something if there even was a risk of that", she shared. "We also want to make sure she'll adjust to the surroundings, not just mentally and physically, and because she's an Icelandic horse; they are not scared of being outside during winter. It's why they have all this coat, too. This might actually feel more natural to her than being cooped up inside. And I also just want to observe her first to see how she is on her own before I give her anything to react to."

"I see", Jade replied.

She had not always been a horse girl, so a lot of these things were new to her. Even though she rode a bronc and knew how to ride on a trail, it didn't mean she knew that much about horses. When it came to rodeo life, it was more about reading the animal than knowing about its history.

When Amy was done putting the horse to the shed, she started going through its features by running her hand calmly along them. The horse seemed like she was easy to handle and didn't flinch even when she went under her belly and stood in front of her.

That was when Cassandra arrived to have one last look before leaving.

"Any thoughts?" the vet asked.

"Can you give some background for her?" Amy asked because it was easier to start when she knew something about the horse.

"The owner bought her from Iceland a while ago and at first he thought everything was fine, but then he noticed Bruni here wouldn't eat. He figured she was just getting used to the new home, but he then figured he should give us a call and make sure there wasn't something wrong before it was too late. I examined her and there doesn't seem to be anything that could be making her sick, but I asked his permission to bring her to a horse expert of other kind - that's you - and he said that he was ready to try anything", Cassandra summed up. "From what I understood, he really has high hopes for this horse, and I get that. He's gotten her all the way from Iceland, after all. He seems like he is serious, so I doubt there's been any neglect from his part."

Amy nodded, making mental notes, and already knowing the first step they would take with Bruni. "I'll see if she'll respond to any herbs or oils."

"Thanks. And sorry for just bringing her like this, I just don't know what else I could try", Cassandra apologized. "There's only so much a vet can do when it comes to cases like this."

"It's fine. I want to help her", Amy said, looking at the horse, full of compassion. "And I'm open to new clients anyway, so it's really not a problem."

"Thanks, Amy. I know she'll be in good hands. If she doesn't get any better soon, call me and we'll see what we can do", Cassandra said before leaving.

* * *

Even though Marion's journals where there in the barn office to help her identify which herbs or oils to use with horses that refused to eat, Amy was happy to notice she still recalled them from the top of her head. Maybe it was because this really was like riding a bicycle or because she had dealt with similar cases like this before. Either way, she felt the familiar rush of adrenaline in her veins as she went to the shelf and picked a couple of things she would try to put into Bruni's food to get her interested in eating.

She then returned to behind the barn and saw Bruni standing in the shed, looking tired. It was hard to see a horse like that, knowing they were usually very curious about their surroundings, especially if it was a new place. Looking at the tiny horse, it felt to Amy like she had somewhat given up.

"Hey there, girl", Amy said as she came with the bucket of oats. "Would you like to try eating these?" She came in the shed and shook the bucket, hoping to wake up her curiosity by the noise as it usually worked with other horses.

But it made no difference with Bruni.

Amy scooped few oats to her palm and offered it to the horse. Bruni smelled them a little and let her muzzle feel them, but none actually ended up in her mouth.

The horse whisperer sighed a little and put down the bucket. Maybe Bruni would feel more comfortable eating them from a bucket. While she was there with the horse, Amy picked up couple of small bottles from her pocket and let Bruni smell them. Horses usually reacted these smells, either by turning their head away or turning their lip up to get a better sense of them.

Even when Bruni looked tired, she definitely had not lost her sense of smell. Amy let her smell couple of smells that usually ignited something in horses and just like always, the horse refused to smell couple of them and then fell in love in love with one.

Now knowing which smell she responded to, Amy dropped couple of drops of the oil to her oats, hoping it would make her more curious. After a while Bruni started to show some interest in the bucket and put her head down to get a better sense of the smell. Amy had not put too many oats to the bucket, just because she didn't want Bruni to go from not eating to eating too much, as it would be dangerous to her health.

If she could get started, even a little bit, it was already better than her not eating.

As she retreated from the shed and closed the gate behind her, she could see Mitch letting the horses from the barn loose on the back paddock. It was always impressive sight to see them gallop toward the field and getting their taste of freedom for couple of hours before they were back to working again.

Amy leaned on the fence and soaked in the February sun as she followed how Mitch closed the gate behind them after urging them on. In a way nothing she was seeing was new and yet, everything felt like she was seeing it for the first time in a while. Almost as if some dark clouds over her were breaking and the sun was coming out again.

Maybe she really was turning a new leaf in more ways than one.


	64. Chapter 64

After trying to feed Bruni, Amy decided the horse needed a place to stay for the night. Even though it was still early, it was best to get started as the darkness fell this part of the world quicker during this time of the year.

Since the barn with other horses was out of question, Amy figured she'd make room for Bruni to the Quonset hut as they have kept horses there before whenever situation called for it.

The most prominent memory Amy had about a situation like that was when Pegasus had been sick and eventually passed because of contamination with Kit's horse, Daisy. After that, Amy had always taken horse's well-being more seriously as diseases - such as strangles - were not always easy to spot from the surface. When it came to this job, with no mentor around after Marion's death, it was live and learn that taught her the best, even if it meant that sometimes tragedies occurred and there was no fixing them.

"Hey, Mitch", she hollered from the barn door when Mitch was closing the back door after letting the horses out to the back field. "You busy?"

Mitch turned around and fixed his hat on the top of his head as he walked closer to Amy.

"Well, not that much. I mean, there's always something to do, but I'm sensing you have something in mind", he replied. Mitch had a list of things he did every day or throughout the week, but if something more urgent came up, he was willing to move plans around.

"Yeah, I do. We just got a new horse, Bruni, and she's from Iceland", Amy filled him in. "I'd like to keep her separated from the other horses which is why she's now at the open shed." She gestured toward the shed's general direction.

"Okay, good to know", Mitch commented. He didn't want to take any risks.

"But she can't stay outside throughout the night which is why I'm planning to make her room from the Quonset hut, but I could use some help", Amy explained. "I need to put up few steel panels, spread some wood shavings on the floor and so on."

Mitch nodded, understanding what Amy needed. "Okay, let's do it."

"So... what's the horse's story?" Mitch asked when they started to move things around inside the hut to make room for Bruni's temporary stall.

"The owner bought her from Iceland and noticed she had lost her appetite, so he got worried and called the vet. Cass had examined her and it seems like there's nothing medically wrong with her, so she suggested they would give me a shot", Amy explained, piling boxes out of the way. "I tried to get her interested in oils for starters. So far she hasn't eaten anything, but she's only been here less than an hour. It takes a while for the appetite to come back, especially if there's something going on with her mind."

"Sounds to me like she could be depressed, or something", Mitch commented.

"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing", Amy admitted. "I've seen cases like this before; just like with humans, it can be hard for a horse to accept change whether it has to do with their living conditions or the people they've lost. I remember when my mom died, her horse... or well, dad's horse who just had a close bond with mom, became depressed and stopped eating. Just when I thought I was losing him, he sort of... became alive again when he thought he saw mom. It was actually Lou's friend and not mom, obviously, but... Anyway. The smell of mom's jacket kind of helped him to transition from the dark place he was in into accepting that things had changed. Honestly, you never know what works, so you have to try everything. Smells can be pretty powerful."

"Yeah", Mitch said, stopping to think that. "Sometimes I smell something and it takes me back to Afghanistan", he hummed, even though it was more like a heaviness on his heart than some kind of bittersweet memory. "What's your favourite smell?" he changed the subject slightly.

Amy thought about it a while even though in the end the answer was pretty obvious.

"Horses. The barn", she smiled, glancing at Mitch, almost as if thinking it was kind of silly. "That's partly why I wanted a place above the barn. It smells like home whether I'm in the loft or I'm around the horses in the barn."

"Ha... Should have guessed", Mitch replied, feeling like Amy was pretty easy to read when it came to some things. She was "what you see is what you get" kind of woman and there was something nice about that.

"What about you?" Amy asked back.

"Eh... I don't know", Mitch said, trying to think of all the smells he liked. "I guess leather. Maybe it's some kind of primitive thing or something."

"Yeah, I get that", Amy admitted. She mostly associated the smell of leather with horses too, so it was also one of the elements that made her favourite smell.

"So... the horse is from Iceland..." Mitch continued the conversation about Bruni so he would be up to date with Amy's plans with her. "What are you going to do to bring Iceland here? Or do you have to send her back if nothing works?"

"You can't send Icelandic horses back", Amy pointed out. "Once they've left the country, they can never return. It sounds kind of harsh, but it's why they've been able to keep the bloodline so healthy."

Mitch nodded, recalling the country was an island, after all. "Oh, right."

"I have to do some research", Amy said, then actually replying to the question Mitch had made. "I was thinking of spending the night here with Bruni. Observe her and make sure feels safe. Could give me some time to look into the breed and the country."

"What about Lyndy?"

"I'll have to ask Grandpa and Lisa if she can sleep in the ranch house. I doubt Jade wants to stay over; she already came in today even though I had planned to give her a day off. Not to mention, she's set to look after Lyndy the whole morning tomorrow because I was thinking of running some errands", Amy shared. "I don't feel good about Lyndy being in the loft on her own even though it's not that far away and I have a baby monitor set next to her bed. I guess I still have some worries after the break-in..." she admitted.

"Well, that's understandable. And you gotta do what makes you feel safest", Mitch said. "This one guy at the group has a fear of forgetting to unplug the iron after he's ironed his shirt in the morning, so he takes the iron with him to the truck", he shrugged. "Whatever works."

Amy smiled a little, even though she could kind of understand the reasoning behind it. "Huh, I guess..."

They then started setting up the panels when there was enough room.

"So... how's that going? The group thing, I mean?" Amy asked carefully. She didn't know if Mitch had continued to attend the meetings or if he had found it to be useless.

"Uh, fine, I guess. I've only been few times, but... so far it's been okay", Mitch replied, helping Amy with the panels. He knew he could trust Amy with that stuff - after all she was one of the few people who had ever seen him have a panic attack - but he still felt insecure about the whole thing. "Then again, we've not really done anything "too bad", we've just spend time together, doing stuff, mostly."

"Well, that can be therapeutic too, you know. Just having someone there. You don't even have to say the words, but they still get how you're feeling", Amy said.

"Yeah, that's true", Mitch agreed. "I guess I'm putting too much pressure on myself. As if I need to set some kind of system for myself to see if I'm making progress or not. Like people expect results from me."

"No one expects you to follow some kind of plan", Amy pointed out. "You gotta give it time. Everyone's on their own journey."

"You're right." Mitch knew it, but only when Amy said it he allowed himself to believe it as well. "Thanks for always being someone I can talk to." He smiled at Amy as their eyes met from the opposites ends of the panels.

"You've been that to me too", Amy admitted. "I sometimes wonder what I would have done these past months without you helping me out with everything and always offering me a listening ear. And it's not just because you've been here when I've not had anyone else, you're... actually a friend and so patient, so I have no doubt that even if I would have other people here, you would still be the same."

"Thanks... That actually means a lot", Mitch said as they locked the panels to their places. "Especially because I cannot be that patient with myself. But at least I can be that with someone else. So maybe there's a chance I can learn to be that with myself too someday."

"I think it's possible. I know from personal experience it kind of takes time, but it's doable. Just a word of warning, though; it usually isn't a pretty process."

"Is anything that requires change?" Mitch hummed with a smile.

"I guess not", Amy admitted. It seemed like they both felt the same way about change; it was inevitable but that didn't mean they would have to like it.

Mitch had to wonder. "So you mean to tell me you've not always been this patient?"

It was one of the qualities Mitch had picked up to be Amy's main characteristics as soon as they had met. She had been so understanding with him as well when he had struggled bonding with Maverick.

"Oh, no..." Amy almost laughed. "I've gotten myself into a lot of trouble because I wasn't very patient. You don't even want to know."

"When you say that, you do realize it only makes me more curious, right?" Mitch said back, wondering what kind of things Amy was referring to. It was hard to imagine her getting in trouble with anything, unless it was a misunderstanding of some kind and she had only tried to do the right thing.

Amy smiled shyly, feeling a wave of embarrassment washing over her as she thought back to her history with breaking the law. She always felt like she had had good enough reason to bend the law a little, but looking back, she realized she could have gone about them a bit different way, usually by doing something that involved law enforcement as her help.

"It's hard to believe you would do anything to cause trouble", Mitch added.

"Well, I did. But I guess after a while things just started piling up", Amy thought out loud, "and I began to see that my choices would affect my future and I didn't want to miss out on having what I have now, my business and Lyndy."

There was a beat.

"Was Ty prone to... things like that?" Mitch asked warily. "I mean, didn't you say that the guy who broke into your loft was Ty's "old friend", or something?"

Amy sighed deeply without even realizing his initial reaction to thinking Ty and breaking the law.

Everyone had always claimed Ty to be "the bad boy" with his rebelling attitude and unlawful actions, but Amy had thought he had had his reasons to do what he did.

But lately, it had gotten a little ridiculous, especially now that Lyndy was a factor. He had probably meant well, but Ty had given Amy so much worry over the years that she was tired just thinking about them, not to mention when she had had to live through them, nervously waiting for a police or a bad guy would come and deal with him.

There had been few times when she had thought about calling the police herself, just to get it over with, even though she had not, of course, wanted Ty to end up in jail. All she had wanted was to be released from having to carry that burden with him. Hudson was a small town, after all, here everyone knew everyone and it was usually only a matter of time when the consequences caught up on someone.

Amy recalled being paranoid sometimes, especially when a police car drove pass her as she was borrowing Ty's truck or some shifty looking car looked like it was trailing her.

Through it all, somehow, Ty had been able to avoid any jail time, though there had been that one time in drunk tank when she and Ty had been broken up - or whatever Ty had wanted it to be called. A break?

In a way Amy had hoped that humiliation of her coming to get him and Caleb from the drunk tank to set Ty into the right path, but unfortunately for her, nothing had stopped him from breaking the law just because he knew he could get away with it.

"I don't want to talk about that, if that's okay", Amy requested after a while.

"Oh, of course. Sorry, I didn't mean to pry", Mitch said.

Mitch knew he didn't know the whole story, but he still couldn't help but think that usually the women who were in jail were there because of men. Maybe they had to defend themselves from men or men had put them in a tight spot where they had to fight their way out, no matter what.

Of course there were exceptions to the rule, but he couldn't shake the feeling of finding Ty a bit... shady. Maybe he was biased because he had seen Amy's struggle with this separation and her distancing herself from him on purpose, but... then again - what if he wasn't?

Hadn't Ty's story at Heartland began when he had been on probation? And after that, he had had his interactions with police and criminals.

There was also that time when Amy had gotten hurt in the loft, just before Ty and Amy had decided to break up. Mitch still couldn't shake the odd feeling that he had had after Amy had fallen down the stairs and broke her arm. And now Amy didn't want to talk about him. It was her right, of course, but Mitch only hoped that Amy was safe and the only reason she didn't want to talk about it was because she was done talking about Ty.

For now, Mitch decided it was best to leave that subject to be.


	65. Chapter 65

Later that night, when Amy had gotten Bruni into the hut, she started her process of getting to know the horse better. For every horse owner who was either new to the horse or hardly spent any time taking care of their horse, Amy's number one advice was to simply spend time with them. It sounded almost too obvious, but it was something people often forgot to do as they were looking for magical solutions to their problems.

Being around one's horse was the best way to get to the root of the problem as it was the only way anyone could really get to know any habits that their horse might have or the horse's nature to recognize if there was anything out of the ordinary. One of the biggest benefits of the whole thing was also a stronger bond built between the owner and the horse.

Bruni was not her horse, but Amy still used the same method with her client horses that needed to be "figured out". She had called the owner earlier and asked his take on his new equine friend, but just like for her, Bruni was a horse the man didn't know that well yet and so he didn't have all the answers either.

In the dimness of the Quonset hut, Amy went through Bruni's back with her hands and was hoping to ease any tension the horse might have on her body. She knew that a little massage wasn't going to fix all Bruni's problems, but it would support the process of settling in and relaxing.

When she had moved closer to the horse's head and started doing T-touch on her, the hut's door was opened. Mitch walked in and closed the door behind him quickly so he wouldn't let too much warm air out or cold air in. He was shivering and from the air he brought with him, Amy could tell it was freezing outside.

"Hey... I was on my way out and thought I'd come and check how you're doing", Mitch said, walking closer stiffly as the cold had gotten into his bones. "I did the night check with other horses, everything should be fine with them."

"Thanks", Amy said, nodding a little as a gesture of gratitude, "we're fine. I've been massaging Bruni. So far she hasn't eaten much, but she tried some oats when I used the oils."

"That's good, that's progress", Mitch said happily and then picked up something inside his jacket. He had been holding onto it and it was under his arm, next to his side, almost like it was a secret. "I was thinking, since you have a long night ahead of you and it's pretty cold outside... You could probably use something to keep you awake."

Amy turned around to see what he had. Mitch pulled out a thermos flask, and she figured it was filled with coffee. It made her hum and she stepped outside the pen, closing the gate behind her. She picked a similar looking flask from the bale she was using as a chair and smiled.

Mitch sighed a little, but it made him chuckle a little bit. "Of course... - Well, here's another one in case the night gets really rough." He handed the flask toward Amy.

"You want me to risk of having a ulcer?" Amy joked and sat down, patting the place next to her. "Unless you're in a hurry?"

"Well, no, but I usually don't drink coffee this late at night", Mitch said. "Unless I want to stay up longer than I should."

"Okay, fair enough, but... you could stay for a while, if you want", Amy said and poured herself coffee to the mug she had made for herself from the top of the flask. "You don't even have to drink coffee."

"Do you want me to...? Stay, I mean", Mitch asked. He felt like she did, but wanted to be sure she wasn't just being polite. Amy was working, after all, and he didn't want to interrupt her process.

"I wouldn't mind it", Amy replied, looking at him.

Mitch sat down next to her and did the same thing with his thermos that Amy had done with hers. Amy smiled a little as it was a way for Mitch to show that he wasn't just staying for five minutes, he was committing to this. It was a little gesture, but something about it was comforting for her. Like he was open to whatever she might have in mind.

When he was done, Mitch watched Amy warming herself by holding the mug with both hands. The coffee was still too hot to drink, but it was hot enough to keep her comfortable. Her eyes were on Bruni, but Mitch could tell there was something on her mind, waiting to come out.

And then it did.

"He was... prone to do things like that", she confirmed.

Mitch looked at her, wondering what she was talking about.

"Ty, I mean", Amy added, still keeping her eyes on the horse as it was easier that way to be this open. The horses always brought her solace. "I don't know why I couldn't just say it to you earlier, it's not like it was that much of a secret. At least, not in the family, so maybe you already knew. He had a way of getting himself into trouble and he didn't always care about the law when he saw something to be the right thing to do. I guess I was... embarrassed for him... or me. Like it would tell more about me than about him."

"Why would it?" Mitch asked, then blowing into his coffee to make it cooler.

"Well..." Amy sighed. "Maybe I was enabling it somehow by being too weak, not saying anything. Like I was some kind of accomplice. But I never wanted to think that he meant any harm by it, he was just... reckless."

Mitch wondered about that.

"Well, maybe you're right; I think it does tell something about you. But I don't think it tells what you think it does. The way I see it... it sounds to me that you only wanted to believe the good in him. Like you wanted to believe he would be better, a good man. Just because you didn't say anything, doesn't necessarily mean you approved it, only that... you had your reasons to stay quiet", he figured.

"I didn't. I didn't approve most of it, but... at the same time, it was already too late when he had done the things he had done. I would have tried to change his mind about most of the things had I known... but I always found out after. Sometimes right after, sometimes it could take days, weeks even, until the truth would come out", Amy shared. "He is his own man, he likes to make plans and execute them himself, almost like making sure they get done right. Gambling, stealing, violence..." she listed, now looking down.

Mitch watched her, seeing completely new side of Ty through Amy's eyes.

Almost like as an impulse, she got worried quickly.

"Please, don't tell about this to anyone", she added, feeling guilty for pouring her heart out, but at the same time some relief because she was finally telling someone and not just carrying it all inside. Maybe Ty deserved what was coming to him, but she didn't want to risk Lyndy's well-being.

"I won't", Mitch promised, even though it sounded pretty serious, but he didn't want to break Amy's trust for him. He didn't know if Ty had ever gotten caught, but it seemed like to some extent, Amy had had to protect him and deal with the consequences for his actions, whether she agreed with them or not.

"I guess I was just hoping that he would learn from the previous incidents, that he would want to change", Amy explained, sadness in her voice. "But maybe I should have been more disapproving of him for him to understand that. That's on me. But at the same time I know that it would have only made us fight and him mad. And I was..."

Mitch waited and looked at Amy, but it looked like she couldn't say more. He gave her time, not wanting to pressure her to talk about anything she didn't want to.

"S-scared", Amy finally breathed. "I was scared of him."

"What do you mean...?" Mitch got concerned. "Did he... hurt you?" This all sounded like it could align with his suspicions, but he didn't want to confirm them yet before Amy said something.

"No, not... physically", she told him. "But it was more like- I don't know, it sounds kind of crazy, because I don't think he's a bad man, he just... He fights ugly. He likes to have the power", Amy worded it. She got choked up about it.

"Hey, it's okay", Mitch said, putting his hand on Amy's arm to let her know she was safe now. "We don't have to talk about this, if you don't want to."

"I do- I do want to talk about it, because I feel like I'm just going crazy if I don't, thinking about it all. I usually busy myself with something, but when I'm alone, I keep rethinking everything and I really want to break that cycle. So, I'm trying to talk about it now", Amy explained and continued. "I don't even understand myself even though I was there and going through these things. I look at myself and ask: Who was that person? Who did he marry? I don't understand why I just put up with everything and why he still has such a hold on me, but maybe if I talk, I'll be free to be me again. Or at least who I think I am now, after everything. It's like I became such a strange shape by trying to fit in."

"Okay. Then... take your time", Mitch advised. He tried to take a sip from his coffee, but it was still too hot, so he figured he'd continue the conversation by asking more about it. "What do you mean when you say he fights ugly or likes to have the power?"

Amy sighed deeply and collected her thoughts.

"Well, we always had problems with talking, I always thought it wasn't that big of a deal, I mean, we knew we loved each other, so I figured that it would kind of give us an understanding of each other. Like it would just conquer all. But turns out that it wasn't like that. We were so different. I wanted to believe it would only make us more interesting as a couple and in a way it did, but it's also why I feel like things started to fall apart, the fact that we were so different."

Mitch removed his hand, giving Amy space to let it all out now that she was feeling a little stronger again.

"Before we got married, or even engaged, we broke up quite a few times, we were kind of impulsive like that. I always thought that it was how young people were, you know, passionate about the things they thought to be right, but I figured eventually we'd be more... polished as we would learn these life lessons and about ourselves and each other through the relationship. And I always felt like we would end up back together even if we would break up, because I just couldn't imagine us not being together. It's like everyone always thought the same and whenever we were broken up, they tried to help us find our way back to one another. The way it always came to be... we always needed to deal with those feelings that torn us apart on our own, because like I said, we didn't communicate well with each other, so we didn't know how to deal with those problems together which is why I think we dealt so much of it apart. But looking back; where's the communication in that? It's just about dealing with those feelings with yourself, not with each other. So eventually it's almost as if you are two strangers, living side by side, thinking you know each other when in fact you only know yourself and you only see your point of view and try to force the other one to fit into your own narrative and when it doesn't work like you thought it would, you break up or have a break. And so the vicious circle never ends. We had this habit and it never changed... We dealt with our feelings on our own and after a while when the dust had settled, we got back together", Amy explained, going through all the ups and downs of her feelings concerning those moments.

It was hard to recall all those things, especially the biggest one.

"When I came back from Europe after travelling with the prince's team, things were different. Some things had happened to me, but I never felt like I could talk to Ty about it, because like I said, I had never learned to really do that with him. And these things were scary to deal with, so that added to the pressure. I wanted comfort but in order to seek comfort, I would have to explain why I needed it. So I just thought that if I pretend everything's fine, we'll be fine too. I know it sounds childish, but I did what I had to to keep Ty in my life, because I was scared I was going to lose him again if I would talk to him about what I was going through. The stakes seemed so much higher then, we had these dreams about working together and I had built up my reputation, hoping that would help us out. Not to mention we were planning to get married that year and were saving money to have a place of our own. I had everything to lose. But then... Ty found out what was going on with me, or at least some version he thought to be true. I wanted to tell him everything, how things really were, but he refused to talk about it and instead he just... dumped me. Or I didn't even really know what was happening, to be honest; he just left me and didn't talk to me for months. He didn't reply to my texts or calls, nothing. I didn't know where we stood, I didn't know if I had just lost everything I thought I was going to have. It was like I said; I no longer fit into the narrative Ty had in his mind about me or us, so he pushed me away."

Mitch didn't know if he should ask more about Amy's experience in Europe, because again, it was something that came up but at the same time there were things that were left in the dark and it felt like Amy was doing it on purpose which lead Mitch to believe it was too hurtful to talk about.

"So... I just thought that okay, well, if he's going to ignore me, then maybe I should try and move on with my life, even though I had no idea what I was doing or going to do. I just drifted... It felt like everything was just... broken or gone. But eventually, we ended up being roped into this trip to save these wild horses from culling and then we got to work together and somehow... it was like he was back to being who he used to be, so even though I didn't know what had changed with him, I sort of didn't want to question it because I just wanted to be happy again, to be with him again, because it was what I had come to know", Amy shared and now felt like she would have wanted to shake herself to wake up back then. "And so we got back together. There were so many questions I wanted to ask from him, but it was like we were back to that situation were the dust has settled, and I wasn't about to ruffle those feathers again as I didn't want to be abandoned. So, I just stayed quiet, and we never really talked about it again. I never brought up Europe again because I was scared he would be reminded of it all and then decide to dump me - again. Like I was... spoiled goods, or something."

Mitch realized he didn't know the whole picture, but from an outsider's perspective, it really did sound like Ty had had a lot of power in this relationship and Amy more like a passenger. It didn't sound exactly equal or healthy. Even though it wasn't really his business, to him it seemed like for Amy, the best thing that had happened to her was this separation, even though it hurt like hell.


	66. Chapter 66

Amy continued going through the story of her relationship with Ty, and Mitch listened, sipping his coffee and giving the woman next to him time to vent.

"But in retrospective, that's when I had caged myself into this relationship where I wasn't the one calling the shots. Maybe he sometimes made me think I was, but now that I've thought through it all... I think it was only when it didn't really matter to him, when he didn't need to be in power. Simple things like naming Lyndy after my grandmother or... choosing the paint we'd paint the loft with", she continued, sounding bitter. "I mean, we started to sort of work together, but then he accepted this partnership from the clinic and that dream of ours - one of the reasons why I had decided that all the misery was going to be worth it - was pushed aside and it was my job as his wife to support his decision and keep him happy. In return, I would get to work with "my horses", as he called them, and live above the barn."

Amy hummed, wondering if she should have seen the warning signs then instead of ignoring what he had been implying.

"He never really liked it there, maybe because he always viewed the place as his stepping stone to somewhere else, since he used to live there years ago when he was working as a ranch hand", Amy continued and thought Ty had probably felt like a zero when he had been working as a ranch hand and as soon as he had become a vet, he felt like he had made it. In a way what he had said earlier in a fight confirmed this. "And he always thought it was going to be a temporary solution - and yes, in a way it was, but to me it was still going to be my home, our home. I wasn't in a hurry to move out... - When he told about Scott's offer for him, I always thought it made sense, to support him, because that's what I would want to be done for me. And then I got pregnant and my job was somewhat put on hold, but I thought maybe this was the right time to have a child in a way, since he was busy working at the clinic and making a name for himself, so to speak, and our dream was on hold for a while anyway, so... why not then, you know? Like, maybe after I was done having a maternity leave, he would figure out a way to work at the clinic but also with me. That was something he had always said to be his goal, but then... he got offered to travel to Mongolia", Amy recapped the last few years of her life.

The man next to her listened silently, feeling sad for Amy. It sounded like she had given a lot of herself to this relationship. It was no wonder why she was so bitter.

"And every part of me wanted to ask him to stay even when I knew it would be amazing opportunity for him, but at the back of my mind, all I could think about was that time when I had come back from Europe. What if I say something? Express my true inner feelings. What if he leaves me again? And this baby? And if I let him go, what if things change again when he comes back?" Amy listed some of her fears. "Despite my inner turmoil, I told him to go, because I didn't want what happened with my mom to happen to me. I didn't want this child or me, his wife, to be left behind. And I didn't want him to despise me for holding him back." Amy took a breath before she continued. "It was only going to be for a little while, few months, I thought. He's going to come back, and we are going to see this pregnancy through after the first few months, he'll be there to support me through the last few stages, help me to prepare for the birth... It was my first pregnancy, so I was a little bit scared with all these meetings with doctors and getting our life ready for this new person that would be with us for the rest of our lives... but I thought if he would be there, eventually, things would be fine."

She had a brief pause again, collecting herself.

"But his trip just went on and on. We skyped, but it just wasn't the same. I told him about the things here back at home, and he shared what was going on with his trip and it always sounded to me like it was one of those... you know, guys's trips, where you just have fun with your buddies instead of doing actual work. But I thought maybe it was just me missing him and seeing bad in everything that was taking him away from me and the baby. I wanted to ask him to come home so many times, to experience it all with me, but he was more excited about saving bears in this remote location than about baby showers, getting to know my doula or going through the delivery plan. I felt hurt, like we didn't matter, but I had to stay strong for the baby. And again, I felt like I couldn't show weakness because I knew what would happen to me then - I would surely get abandoned. Thankfully I had a support system in my family and friends here, but... all I really wanted was my husband to be by my side. People thought my dad was my husband because he took part in more than Ty did and someone even asked if Caleb was the father of the baby because we spent more time together during those months than Ty did with me."

"Yeah, I mean, of course you wanted him to be there", Mitch could understand that. "You were about to have a baby. Your first one, too."

Amy nodded and let her fingers ran through the warm side of her mug, almost like stroking it as a way to soothe herself.

"But then Ty got sick and he was flown back to Canada, and at this point I was really close to giving birth, you remember", Amy said. Mitch nodded. It was when he had had his drama with Lou, but he could still recall counting down the days with Amy as everyone had been excited to meet this new family member. Before she had given birth, he had already left Hudson and had not met Lyndy until later next year. "I have to admit, even though I knew he was close to dying, I was almost glad he was, because at least there was something that would bring him back to me. Like he wouldn't just stay there for forever. I know it sounds kind of crazy and twisted, but... the baby or I weren't reason enough for him to come back, but when he got sick, he _had to_ come home. It sounds kind of ridiculous that a tick is more powerful than what we had was... but it's what happened."

Mitch felt sorry for Amy. He couldn't understand what Ty must have been thinking and the reasoning behind his absence. Had he really thought to be so irreplaceable that he couldn't have handed the job over to someone else while his wife was getting close to giving birth to their first child?

It sounded ludicrous.

"Well, then Lyndy was born and I thought, okay, well, maybe now we can be together and experience this family life and enjoy the time we missed while he was away, but only some months into it all, he was asked to go to Mongolia again - and I could have screamed", Amy continued with frustration. "I got mad at first, I thought "here we go, he'll leave me again". I just couldn't get a break. But then I was offered to come with him because there was a horse problem involved, so I figured at least that was progress. I knew leaving Lyndy behind was going to be tough, but at the same time, knowing from experience of being left behind, I made sure we would stick to our schedule, that we would come back to her in few days and that was going to be it", she explained.

Mitch could see Amy getting restless but he figured it wasn't from the caffeine of the coffee.

"And yeah, we did come back in couple of days, but again, Ty had gotten himself into trouble. I thought he had died when I got to Mongolia... He was almost shot, he told me. And then that whole break-in happened... It was like I was always at the edge of my seat, worrying about losing him and now the baby, too. I had anxiety attacks and nightmares all the time. I don't think he's ever realized just how much worry he has caused me, he kept saying everything was fine, so there wasn't anything to worry about, but the thing with him is that - you never if there is or isn't because he doesn't tell that, he just does things. I know, I shouldn't have just accepted it all, I know, but I loved him and thought he was going to get better, but... I don't think he ever wanted - or he would have done it by now. I feel like maybe... in a way he lives for the excitement. Maybe that's why he felt like he couldn't settle down with us, here in Heartland... Because it's so normal and dull."

There was a moment of silence as Amy had come full circle and realized just how much she had shared with Mitch. It wasn't that she regretted it, but more like she worried if Mitch was bored.

Mitch sighed and shook his head. "That's a lot to deal with..."

"It is... And I'm sorry, I didn't mean to talk about it all this much. You only asked few simple questions and here I am, giving you my life story", Amy hummed apologetically.

"It's fine", Mitch assured. "Have you talked about this to anyone?"

"No", Amy admitted. "I just don't feel like people want to listen to me or hear about this. Especially because everyone here has such a close relationship with Ty and they have their own ideas about him. I don't want to have to justify my feelings. It almost feels like, for some reason, my feelings aren't valid to them."

"Is that only your assumption of things...?" Mitch asked. "Only asking because I never thought I could show my vulnerability to anyone, but then you saw me at my worst and I still lived, much to my surprise. And now I feel much better for it."

"Well, no, I mean I'm trying to build myself up again, but I just know that when I'm having a tough time, my family is somewhat there... but at the same time, the way they care is so shallow because it's all about what's convenient for them. And don't get me wrong, I love them dearly, I do, but I didn't learn not to not communicate on my own... It all came from my family. Even after Europe, they weren't really understanding of what I was going through, and when I tried to explain it all, it was like I was not being heard, so I stopped talking because clearly it just doesn't work - I only feel worse afterwards. Their concerns always come with opinions, and I'm tired of having to explain why all that was difficult for me. I'm not asking them to solve my problems but to hear me out."

Mitch nodded, knowing a little bit about keeping it all in.

"Can I ask one more thing about Ty...?" he checked, even though Amy had just spend a lot of time talking about him and adding that he still had such a power over the way she felt or went about things and she wished to be free from it. But there was a concern that would not leave Mitch alone and he wanted to address it.

Amy nodded before taking a sip from her coffee. It tasted bitter.

"You said he wanted things to be done his way and he had a lot of power over you", Mitch recapped, "and you said that you did some bad things yourself in the past... Did he make you do those things? Things you didn't want to do? I mean, besides you smothering your own feelings, of course."

Amy thought about it for a while. "No. I mean, the things I was referring to, I did those on my own, he's not to blame, I take full responsibility about what I chose to do. And I'm not innocent either, but I just feel... invisible. Like his shadow is hovering over me, and I need to step into the light again."

"Sounds to me that some of things he did... well, I could be wrong, but it sounds like you were emotionally manipulated", Mitch added with concern.

Amy looked at Mitch, with almost something like an anger behind her eyes until her glance softened a bit. She realized she was quick to defend Ty, but then understood it was a learned behavior she had done in order to convince herself everything was fine and they were in love. That Ty would never hurt her, not physically, mentally or emotionally. That was what she had needed to do in order to get by and to survive the heartbreak she was constantly battling with.

But maybe she no longer needed to do that...?

She was already heartbroken, after all, but hopefully mending the wounds slowly but surely. Why was she protecting Ty? What did she owe to him? Especially after everything he had done to her.

Was she trying to be a bigger person or was this yet another way to hide herself from someone who could potentially see inside? Just like how she had not told Mitch right away about Ty's tendencies to get in trouble when he had asked because she had been ashamed.

If she thought about it all from Mitch's point of view, maybe that was exactly what it all looked like; emotional manipulation.

Or maybe it wasn't about the point of view at all. Maybe it was what had happened and she had just been too scared to ever admit it for what it was.

After all, she had said earlier how she had tried to fit into the mold Ty had wanted her to be and stay in, so wasn't that just another way of saying that she had been forced into his will because she had been too scared to be abandoned, and he knew it? Ty knew why she had had such a hard time admitting to love him back in the day, because every time she did love someone, she would lose them. Ty was aware of her weaknesses, and this all played into the whole situation with them.

But how could someone be so cruel? It couldn't be intentional... It just couldn't. Or who knew. Did she even really know the real Ty at all? Just like she had said, they had always dealt with their emotions on their own, so maybe there was more to Ty than she knew. Meaner streak that she cared to know or acknowledge. Maybe she had married a stranger and she had become a stranger to herself by bending over backwards for him.

Maybe the Ty she had known had always been in her head. The narrative she had wanted to tell to herself, just like she had been the narrative for Ty he had told in his head. The version she had needed to be in order to be loved or accepted by him. The blanks she had come to know filled with some kind of fantasy of a man she had wanted him to be.

Mitch noticed the change in the way Amy behaved and knew that he could be opening some kind of Pandora's box with his concerns and maybe even risk his friendship with Amy, but it felt to him that she needed to hear someone say what he was suggesting and if he was going to be the object of her wrath, then so be it. Amy's healing was more important than his need to be liked by her. She needed to hear another opinion. Maybe he was wrong, but at least he had offered her food for thought.

"Did he hurt you...? When you broke your arm, did he push you?" Mitch asked.

"What? No", Amy said right away and knew it probably looked like she was defending him - again. "He didn't. We had a fight and I stepped back and fell. It was my fault. He was never like that with me, he never hurt me... Physically, at least." The last part of her sentence was said more quietly, voice full of shame.

She turned her glance away, almost like fearing to go forward with the other options. Mitch gave her time. It seemed like Amy was sincere, and he was relieved to rule out that type of abuse. Thankfully she didn't seem too angry, either.

"I have goosebumps..." Amy admitted quietly.

"Are you cold?" Mitch asked. "Here's a blanket." He moved one of them closer to her from the bale, so she could wrap it on. It was what she had gotten them in the first place.

"Not that kind of goosebumps", she replied and looked at him. "The kinds you get when you realize something big that changes the way you might look at your whole life. As if you suddenly open your eyes and see everything in a whole new light. - Hell, even Caleb said it to me earlier, but I just thought he was being a jerk and was trying to fight Ty's fights for him."

"Said what...?" Mitch wondered.

"That I'm easy to manipulate. Even he knew how easy I am when it comes to that, probably because he has manipulated me himself. People know which strings to pull to get their way", Amy explained. "Oh, god, I feel so ashamed. I feel so stupid..."

She put her cup away and hid behind her hands.

"Hey, hey, hey", Mitch worried and set his cup aside as well. "If people have manipulated you then that's on them. It's their shame." He tried to carefully pull Amy's hands away from her face because she didn't need to hide from him.

"No, you don't understand..." Amy said, now getting up as she was getting more angry. This time not because of herself or because of Ty but because of people in general. "I've almost let people destroy my life because they have known which buttons to push. They've known how to guilt me into doing things or making me think I was to blame - and I've just played into it like an idiot!"

Mitch stayed seated and watched Amy pacing back and forth. Things were coming out and even though it was hard to watch, it seemed like it was about time for Amy to get angry.

"Stewart Forrest, Chase Powers, Ahmed..." she mumbled some names Mitch wasn't familiar with. "Even my family and my husband. If I didn't play by their rules, I would always have to pay for it or suffer because of it. It's like I didn't even matter. My feelings didn't matter... Like I had no worth."

Before she could continue, they heard a loud thud and looked toward Bruni as the noise came from her direction. The horse had fallen down, and cold blood rushed over Amy.

"Oh my god..." she breathed. Both her and Mitch hurried to take a look at the horse. It seemed like she had not hurt herself from falling down, but it was obvious she was feeling weak. "I need to call Cass."


	67. Chapter 67

Amy walked back to Mitch and Bruni after making the phone call to Cassandra. She placed her phone aside and came to see how the horse was doing. Her mind was going crazy and she didn't remember the last time she had felt this kind of adrenaline rush from working.

"Cass is on her way", Amy informed Mitch. "Really hope the roads are not too rough and she makes it here quick."

She noticed Bruni raising her head so she could place it on Mitch's lap, which at first seemed like a good sign, like there was still spark left in her, until Mitch opened his mouth and looked at her with fear in his eyes. With Bruni so fragile, he was afraid to make any sudden movements now.

"Amy... I think I made a mistake..."

It didn't occur to Amy right away what he meant by it - as she was so focused on the horse rather than the environment they were in - but then as Bruni was getting a better sniff of Mitch's coat, the reality dawned on her accompanied by Mitch's words.

"I didn't change my clothes after I did the night check... In fact... I haven't changed them since I got up this morning", he said, realizing that he might have just risked Bruni's health entirely for making a careless mistake when he had rushed into making sure the horse was alright after collapsing.

After they had set up the whole place for Bruni to be in, Amy had cleaned it, then showered and changed her clothes, made sure to use protective clothing whenever it had been required and been careful not to use same tools, buckets and feed they used with other horses.

But now, he could have made all those efforts for nothing.

"Okay, step away from the paddock", Amy told him. Mitch gently laid Bruni's head back down and stepped back, trying not to touch anything else.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize..." Mitch apologized even though he knew it made no difference. If the horse was now contaminated because of him, apology wouldn't change it. Still, he wanted Amy to know that he was sorry.

"I know..." Amy said, her full focus on Bruni. "Maybe it's better you leave."

Mitch nodded and grabbed his thermos flask, then heading out the door. Even though his main concern was obviously Bruni, he still couldn't help but worry about Amy too. Before the horse had collapsed, Amy had been almost furious. Would she be okay too?

Not to mention, if Bruni would not recover, would it be on Amy? All the efforts she had made to get her business running again... would it be all for nothing if Bruni would not make it?

* * *

Mitch returned to his trailer and shut the door behind him. It was freezing inside, so the first thing he did was put on more heat. After putting aside the flask, he sat down on his bed and tossed his cowboy hat aside with frustration.

 _How could I be so stupid... he chanted to himself inside his head and ran his hands across his face. Why did I even go there to begin with? We had established the arrangements; I'd take care of the resident herd while Amy would focus on Bruni until she would feel better. That way she wouldn't have to come in contact with the herd as much._

 _Was that coffee really worth risking it all? What's wrong with me?_

He leaned back on the bed, getting stuck into those questions. The coffee had been more of his way of caring for Amy, a simple gesture to let her know that she wasn't alone and that they were working as a team to get through this. He got her back, she didn't have to worry about the other horses.

He had never meant to stay and spend time with her, but when Amy had asked, Mitch had felt like being there for her. He was starting to feel more frustrated with himself when he thought about how he had carelessly touched Amy's arm and hands in order to give her comfort.

 _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

Even though it was still cold in the trailer, the thought of Amy made his chest feel warm, despite everything. As if she was one of the best things in his life right now and being around her made him feel things he had not felt in a while. Happiness was more constant than the absence of it, unlike how it had been for a couple of years now.

But at the same time, thinking about her being angry at him - which would have been justified, of course - made his stomach turn. He didn't want to cause her harm, upset her or let her down, and yet he might have just done all that.

He got up into a sitting position again and sighed. Was this what drinking coffee after 9 p.m. did to a person? Or was this something else... It was hard to think straight.

Mitch took the remote control from the table and put the TV on, if only to create some distraction but also to quiet the noises in his head that were trying to lead him where he wasn't sure he wanted to go.

 _I can't have these feelings... For many different reasons!_ He shook his head as if trying to get rid of these thoughts. _She's just being nice, we work together and I like working with her. Or for her. That doesn't have to mean there's more to that or has to be. We are friends, but that's all we are or can be._

The monologue in Mitch's brain continued in stages.

 _Why am I even thinking about my feelings? I should be focusing on her and Bruni. Should I call her, ask how things are going?_

 _No, she and Cassandra are probably busy helping the horse. I'll just wait till the morning._

* * *

The next morning, after a restless night of sleep, Mitch returned to Heartland. The sun had not even risen when he parked his truck in front of the barn. The days were short around this time of the year and the lack of light didn't really help with Mitch's sleepiness.

As he had drove in, Mitch had noticed Cassandra's vehicle in front of the hut and figured she was back - or maybe she had never left. Did that mean things were bad with Bruni?

The guilt gnawed the pit of Mitch's stomach.

Still lost in thought, Mitch was almost startled when he saw Jack in the barn, already getting the horses' buckets filled with oats and whatever else each horse required. He had not expected to see anyone there since it was going to be his duty to take care of the resident horses while Amy focused on Bruni.

"Morning", Jack said with his gruffy voice.

"Morning... Sorry, I didn't expect to see you here", Mitch explained his deer-in-the-headlights look. "I see you've already gotten things started."

"Yeah, I promised Amy I would help you out today till things are better with the new horse", Jack explained and moved comfortably around the barn as if he could have done it all in his sleep since everything was so etched in his mind. "And besides, I couldn't really get sleep."

Mitch nodded. He knew how they had planned to get through this, but part of him wondered if Amy was glad to get him out of her way and in a different building after his mistake. Who knew, but he was going to respect the rules from now on and stick to what he had been asked to do. If the army had taught him anything it was that he was good at following rules. Maybe it was better to let things cool a little anyway. That way his head could be more clearer.

"Couldn't sleep much either", Mitch replied, starting doing the morning chores as well. "Do you have any update on the horse in the hut...?" he asked casually, wondering if Amy had filled Jack in on what had happened.

"Amy told me she's doing a little better, but still not out of the woods", Jack said promptly. "Is that what was keeping you up?" he asked in return, wondering how deeply Mitch let the work affect him. They couldn't lose any work force now under these circumstances, especially since he wasn't feeling the best either.

"Partly", Mitch said, taking the water buckets out of the stalls. "What about you? Was Lyndy keeping you up all night?" he guessed since the girl was staying in the ranch house for the night.

"Oh, no, she slept well. It's not that", Jack said but didn't explain any further which only made Mitch more curious.

"Then what is it?" he asked, now beginning to worry about the old man.

"Oh, you know, just age", Jack explained with a careless tone, but for some reason he sounded like he was lying. Mitch just didn't know why he would feel the need to lie other than the fact that there was something going on.

Not to mention, Jack was never quick to blame his old age for anything since it was something he wasn't very good at accepting. He didn't want to appear weak to others.

"Is it just that...?" Mitch asked carefully.

Jack stopped at his tracks and sighed. It almost seemed like Mitch was after something. "What's Lisa been tellin' you?"

Mitch was confused. Was there something going on or why would Jack be so quick to get frustrated like that?

The younger cowboy took the hose out so he could clean the water buckets while continuing the conversation. "No... But is there something I should know?" he asked with concern.

Jack grunted and continued working. "It's nothing. Lisa's worrying over nothing. I thought she was trying to get other people on board so she could convince me there's something wrong with me." The man explained as that was usually how she did things whenever she worried.

"Why would there be something wrong with you...?"

"Well, because..." Jack sighed. He was tired of the whole thing, but at the same time he felt like ranting. "She thinks I should go see some kind of sleep doctor."

"Because you can't sleep?" Mitch was trying to play catch-up. It was pretty obvious Jack was grumpy, but he wasn't sure if that was just his mood - as it often was - or if the lack of sleep was getting to him.

"Yes, but the only thing stressing me about this whole situation is her fussing. She even filmed a video of me sleeping so she could convince me that I need to see a doctor", Jack explained.

Mitch frowned. "I'm not sure I follow. How can she record your sleep if you aren't getting any sleep...?" That part didn't make sense.

"Nevermind." Jack decided he was done sharing more and continued his work, hoping Mitch would leave it be. The crankiness was just growing inside of him.

Mitch didn't want to push it, but that didn't mean he wasn't still thinking about the whole thing. Something about this didn't add up. He planned to ask Lisa more about it later, since Jack was known to be stubborn and this could easily be something serious that he wasn't just taking seriously himself.


	68. Chapter 68

If someone had told Mitch Cutty few months ago that he would be playing basketball with a group of new friends soon, he wouldn't have believed it. None of that would have sounded like something he would do - and yet, here he was, packing his sports bag after a friendly match with the support group while some of his new friends passed by and patted him on the back, congratulating him for his performance at the field.

Mitch knew he had hard time getting to know new people and it was mostly his own fault. It wasn't that he was exactly an introvert, but opening up and letting people in was hard because he was the kind of guy who got attached quickly and found it hard to face the possibility of losing someone, so the way his mind had worked for a while now was that he never truly let anyone in - unless he couldn't help it - and if the possibility of losing them seemed inevitable, he would let them go first. For some reason he thought that would hurt less, but his experiences so far had not really supported the theory. Not to mention, it wasn't the smartest thing to do to begin with because you never really got a closure for anything that way.

Not getting closures was like the story of his life, but Mitch was hoping this support group would help him deal with those issues and allow himself to be hurt, because life wasn't always painless and you couldn't hide from feelings forever.

As for having friends, he had to admit, it was nice to have them again. It did make him miss Zach, but maybe it was best to work through those feelings as well instead of just pretending they were not affecting him and making him act certain way because clearly it had not worked for him so far.

At the same time, Mitch realized he would never get his cousin back and he would never have the kind of bond with anyone else as he had had with him, but that shouldn't be the reason he should stop having a social life and be open to new possibilities. After all, you never knew who you could end up gaining into your life if you just let your walls down.

If anything, hanging out with the people from the support group had proven him that even at his age, he could still make new friends and that life really wasn't what you thought it had set out to be. It had a way of surprising you.

Mitch realized it did sound kind of odd, but he had never though that he would "need" more friends than Zach. With Zach, he had had everything. But now with him gone, Mitch had also lost all of that and it felt like part of him wasn't functioning properly. He didn't expect one person to just come in and be some kind of replacement for his cousin, but it was still nice to get at least some of that back with these people. Hopefully they felt like they were getting something out of this, too.

"Nice work, Cutty", Bryce said as he passed Mitch by on his way to the showers. "Will I be seeing you next week?" he asked when he noticed Mitch was almost done packing.

"I think so, yeah. Unless something comes up", Mitch replied and brushed some deodorant under his arms. "I have to admit, that was kind of fun. I've never really played basketball, but I did enjoy it and I guess that kind of made me... good. Or something. That's the point, right? Having fun, I mean."

"Unless you're a pro. Then you gotta have more than fun", Bryce joked and cracked a smile.

Mitch grinned and crinkled his nose. "Yeah, I don't think that's for me. I think I've already found my calling. Ranch life is more my thing, but as a hobby... Not a bad idea."

"Okay, well, I'll be seeing you next week", Bryce said and continued on, "unless some talent scout snatches you first!"

Mitch chuckled a little bit and shook his head.

He had to admit that joining this group had been the best thing he had done in a while. Bryce was good with coming up with things to do, and no meeting was ever the same as the previous one, which kept things interesting.

Going out of the comfort zone in a supportive environment really made everyone get to know themselves a little bit better because some things just never came up during a week where nothing was different and you just did your own thing. Not to mention, not everyone here had that support system elsewhere or they were not willing to put that much pressure on their loved ones with their own recovery.

For Mitch, he realized just how much he had missed hanging out with a group of people that were similar to him, since for a while now, he had left all that behind him. Even though he had always just had that "one friend" - Zach - during the army, he had realized that he really liked being part of a team and just part of something bigger than him. This group brought him the same feeling and made him open up slowly.

It felt like breathing again.

"Oh, come on..." a guy next to him sighed as he was checking his phone. "You gotta be kidding me..."

Mitch glanced at him as he pulled his sweater over his top. "What's going on, Murray?" he asked when the guy, Dom, seemed so defeated.

"Well, you know I have the wedding coming up, right?" Dominic said, looking over at Mitch and after getting a nod from him, he continued. "Cheryl said that she's fine with taking care most of the arrangements - since she's kind of into planning and stuff like that - but she asked me to hire the band. Well, my cousin has a band, right, so I thought I'd ask them, but now he texted that their guitar player has broken his arm and it will take weeks before it's healed up. So, he wants to know if I still want them to come - without a guitar player."

"Ah, man, that sucks", Mitch replied, feeling sorry for him. Even though he had never been married or been about to get married, he could imagine arranging things like this took a lot of effort, time and energy. "He doesn't happen to know someone else who plays guitar, does he?"

"I'll have to ask him", Dom said while typing a message.

"Hey, Mitch, didn't you say that you know how to play guitar?" another guy, called Dave, interrupted from the other side of the bench as he had been overhearing the conversation. "That you entertained the guys at the barracks."

Dom's interest was peaked. "Wait, you do?"

"Well, I mean", Mitch stuttered a little, "I do- or I did. I haven't played in a while, so..." He shrugged. "And besides, you probably want someone professional, so..." he gestured toward Dom and made a face, belittling himself.

"Dude, I hired my cousin because he was cheap. Cheryl's plans have made us go over the budget", Dom shared with him. "The band can play, but they are no professionals. Also, I might not get any professionals at this point, they are all booked waaaayyy in advance. - What do you say? Would you even consider it? You'd be doing me a huge favor."

Mitch looked both Dom and Dave, feeling a little bit pressured, but also wanting to help a friend out - even though he knew he was probably a bit rusty with his playing.

"When was the wedding again...?" he finally asked, wondering if he had time to practice. Thankfully for him the business with Jack and Tim was somewhat quiet at this time of the year, but he still had his hands full with ranch work at Heartland.

Dom's eyes lit up. "Is that a yes...?"

"Hold on", Mitch requested before his friend was getting more excited about the idea. "All I'm saying is that I will play you a demo and send it over and if you still think that I'm okay, then I will do it. But you should check with your cousin first, too."

"Yess!" Dom basically took it as a confirmation already and clenched his fist. "I owe you, big time. Seriously. You just probably saved my wedding - and my marriage!"

Mitch smiled a little even though he wasn't feeling too sure about this. He had not played since Afghanistan and this was a huge deal. At the same time, he knew he had some skills, and Dom had just said he could basically save him from a lot of trouble, so maybe this was a good thing.

Maybe he needed more change to change himself.

The next day, while Jack, Lisa, Mitch, Jade and Lyndy were eating dessert at the dinner table, the mood of the room was quiet. Amy had said she would be having lunch and dinner alone at the loft, continuing to isolate herself in order to protect Bruni as best as she could and spending as much time with the horse as possible.

Thankfully she had Jade to help with Lyndy during the days, and the mornings and evenings she spent with Lyndy, giving Bruni some time to rest as well.

The drowsy feel of the dining room was occasionally interrupted by short dialogues between Jade and Lyndy as the babysitter helped to feed the little girl while simultaneously enjoying a homemade dinner herself. The more she spend time with Lyndy, the more easier things seemed, and having prepared meals by Lisa and Jack definitely helped to sweeten the whole babysitter deal.

It was still evident to Mitch that Jack and Lisa had some type of friction between them and he guessed it had something to do with Jack's sleeping problems - as he did look tired and she seemed antsy - but instead of dragging the problems to the dinner table, Mitch was captivated by Jack's guitar next to one of the bookshelves.

"That's a nice guitar, Jack", Mitch commented and made Jack look at him because it all seemed so out of context. The young man noticed his face and felt like he had to explain. "I mean, I've seen it before, but I guess I haven't really taken a good look at it until now."

Jack then glanced at his guitar and nodded, agreeing with Mitch comments. "It is a nice guitar. It hasn't really gotten played lately, though, outside few songs I've performed to Lyndy", he added with a smile directed to the little girl next to Jade, "but I still like to admire it every time I pass it by."

"A buddy of mine actually asked me to come and play at his wedding. The guitar player from his wedding band broke his arm and now they are looking for someone to fill in", Mitch explained his "sudden interest" in the topic.

"Oh, I wasn't aware you play", Lisa commented, smiling a little bit. She wasn't musically gifted, but she liked whenever Jack played his guitar - and especially when he serenaded her.

"Neither was I", Jack added quickly, looking at Mitch with new-found respect.

"Well, I haven't really played lately", Mitch admitted. "Mostly because I've not had a guitar since Afghanistan."

"Wait, you played guitar there?" Jade asked, looking surprised. She wasn't aware how the whole army thing worked, but she knew they had strict rules there. "I didn't know you could take guitar with you to a place like that."

"Oh yeah", Mitch nodded. "I knew I would need something to unwind between things, so I brought my guitar. What was meant to be just a thing for me kind of turned into something other guys took part in."

"So then, how are you going to practice if you don't have a guitar?" Jack was curious to know.

"I'll figure something out", Mitch said. "I'm just kind of browsing through possibilities which is why your guitar kind of caught my eye."

"Well, if you want, you can borrow it", Jack offered.

"What?" Mitch said. He shook his head, feeling like the old man was being way too generous. "No, that's not what I meant, I was just wondering what brand-"

"It's fine", Jack insisted. "Like I said, it doesn't really get played a lot these days. It's almost a shame that it just sits there like some type of ornament."

"But..." Mitch fought. "Are you sure? It must be an expensive..."

"Well, are you planning to break it?" Jack asked bluntly with a long look.

Mitch frowned. "No?"

"Then I don't see a problem", Jack said, continuing with his pie like the whole thing had just been dealt with. "And besides, if you do break it, you do realize your cut will be a lot less next month than usual", he added with a wink of an eye, making Mitch smile a little.

"But... are you sure?" Mitch checked. It would make things a lot easier for him, but he also felt the weight of responsibility. But all in all, if this would happen, he would make sure he would do his very best to protect the guitar at all costs.

"How about we jam after dinner?" Jack suggested. "So I can see what I'm saying yes to."

Mitch grinned with a little uncertainty. "Sounds good."


	69. Chapter 69

After dinner, while Jade was changing Lyndy's diaper in Amy's old bedroom and Jack was getting something from the barn, Mitch was left alone with Lisa. He figured this could be his chance to talk about what was going on with Jack since he had some leads but no knowledge of how to put them together to figure out what was making Jack so tired.

While Mitch knew it was not his business, he decided he would give Lisa, as Jack's wife, the opportunity to decide how much he had a right to know - or if he had a right to know at all. As a family friend and Jack's business partner, Mitch was only worried for the man, any other reason was not playing a factor. He knew about Jack's history with his heart, so if that was somehow topical again, it was something he wished to be aware of, seeing he spent a lot of time with the older man and if a heart attack were to happen, he thought the knowledge could be useful to make sure Jack would be looked after the best way possible.

As Lisa walked from the kitchen, holding a glass of wine, Mitch finally plucked up the courage to ask, hoping they had enough time to talk before Jack would get back inside.

"Uh, I'm not sure how to ask this, so I'm just going to cut to the chase", Mitch said as Lisa sat down on one of the chairs to keep him company, "is there something going on with Jack? Medically, I mean. He told me something about having trouble sleeping, but when I asked more about it, he didn't want to get into details. I understand it might not be my place to know, but in case there is something I can do..." He let Lisa assume the rest.

Lisa looked at the door, wondering if they had time to talk about this as well, but she eventually figured at least they could get some type of conversation going before her husband would get back.

"I think so, but surprisingly", Lisa shared, using a mocking tone as she said the word _surprisingly_ , "he doesn't seem to think so. I travel a lot, so unfortunately we don't get to spend many nights together, but I've recently noticed that he has trouble with his breathing during nights. I'm all used to his snoring by now, but when he stops snoring, that's when I wake up to make sure he's alright."

"Wait... do you mean to say... he stops breathing?" Mitch checked, getting a nod from Lisa. "You mean, altogether?"

"That's what it sounds like to me. So, I nudge him gently, he is startled and I ask if he's okay, he says he's fine and then he goes back to sleep", Lisa explained the typical night for them, shaking her head thinking this routine that had become all too familiar by now. "But his sleep is cut constantly by me nudging him and I can barely get any rest because I'm worried he just stops breathing altogether if I'm not there to make sure he keeps going..."

"That doesn't sound good..." Mitch worried.

"No, it doesn't", Lisa agreed, feeling a little relieved to talk about it with someone. She had not wanted to worry Amy, not only because she was already dealing with a lot as it was but also because it would only rile up Jack. "I think it might be sleep apnea; couple of my friends have it. I've been trying to get him to see a doctor so they can get bottom of it, but he refuses to see the problem because for him there's no problem; he's just cranky because I keep waking him up!"

"He said you filmed him sleeping..." Mitch was starting to understand it now.

"Yes, because I wanted to show him what happens while he's sleeping", Lisa explained, "hoping that it would make him realize that he should look into it. But I don't know what else could I do, I can't exactly drag him to a doctor, can I? He's a grown man and makes his own decisions. Still... I'm worried sick."

Lisa took a sip of wine, hoping it would calm her down a little bit.

The conversation was cut short when Jack got back inside, carrying a guitar case. They were both silenced quickly and turned to look at the man who seemed to be excited about something.

"I thought I recalled it being in the barn office corner", Jack muttered to himself as he took off his boots and removed his coat before walking into the living room to share his findings with Mitch and Lisa.

"You have two guitars?" Mitch asked when Jack placed the case on an arm chair and picked up another guitar.

"Well, no, this one isn't actually mine. I'm guessing it's hardly been played ever since it was brought here at Heartland", Jack explained, putting the case away and sitting down to tune the instrument. "It once belonged to Ty. I guess when he got here, he figured he'd be so bored all day he would pick up playing, but all the ranch work I made him do probably worn him out and he didn't have time for it..." The man chuckled a bit with nostalgia.

Mitch nodded. "Oh..." Hearing Ty's name these days only gave him bad connotations due to everything Amy had shared with him.

"It's been collecting dust for over 10 years now... But I thought it might make a nice second guitar for a jamming session with you while you play mine", Jack explained, nodding toward the guitar that stood by a shelf. "You're welcome to take it now, we could tune this one together."

Mitch got up and walked over to Jack's guitar, picking it up. It was a beautiful spruce top Martin, from what Mitch could tell, and it was evident Jack had kept good care of it.

As the younger man was getting seated on the couch, Jack began to twist the tuners and look for the right sound. He was almost horrified how badly Ty's old guitar played, but was hopeful they could soon fix it. It was not exactly the best guitar, the conditions he had kept it - or it had been kept before he had got it - had not exactly been the best, but it would work for a casual guitar session. Giving instructions to Mitch what to play and asking him to play the notes again and again, they were able to tune both guitars to play together beautifully.

Lisa sipped her wine and watched as Jack was getting excited about this whole thing. It could have almost been impossible to tell how tired he really was, unless you didn't know, had there not been the dark circles under his eyes.

"Now... the question is... what song to play", Jack said, trying to come up with something as he let his fingers slide across the strings.

"Do you know any Eagles?" Mitch asked, taking a better position to really play the guitar. It was pretty incredible how easily it all came back, though he could feel his fingers being more stiff than they had once been.

Jack scoffed a little and smiled. "Sure I know Eagles. What song?"

Mitch thought about it for a while and recalled the latest song that had been playing in his truck this morning when he had gotten to work. " _Seven Bridges Road_? Could make pretty nice harmonies, if we sing, too."

"Sure", Jack agreed and started strumming his guitar quietly, trying to find the right tune, even though the start was more quiet one. Mitch joined him after a while.

When they began to sing, Jade walked to the living room, holding Lyndy as they arrived to witness an impromptu jamming session between the two cowboys. She smiled, thinking this wasn't something she usually got to see. Even though her shift was about to end soon, this wasn't the worst place to wait till Amy would come and pick up Lyndy.

 _"There are stars... in the Southern sky... southward as you go... There is moonlight and moss in the trees... Down the Seven Bridges Road..."_ Jack and Mitch sang.

"Now I have loved you like a baby... like some lonesome child. And I have loved you in a tame way... and I have loved you wild..."

Captivating their audience - Lisa, Jade and Lyndy - the two men were both unaware of Amy walking in the ranch house and slowly walking to the kitchen to see what was happening inside. She was done with Bruni for a while and had come to pick up Lyndy, so Jade could go home.

 _"Sometimes there's a part of me has to turn form here and go... Running like a child from these warm stars... Down the Seven Bridges Road..."_

Amy leaned on the door frame and watched Jack and Mitch play, smiling a little bit, because she loved to hear Grandpa play and sing. What she had been unaware of was that Mitch could also do the same.

Jade walked up to her and handed Lyndy over. They changed few, quiet words as the babysitter was in a hurry to get to her plans, and Amy thanked her for looking after Lyndy.

 _"There are stars... in the Southern sky... southward as you go... There is moonlight and moss in the trees... Down the Seven Bridges Road..."_

The two cowboys finished the song with the same verse that they had started with and allowed their voices melt together as they harmonized, Jack with more lower voice and Mitch with a brighter register.

When the song was done, Lisa applauded and looked at them with a grin. "Wow, that was amazing!"

"Thanks", Mitch said, pretty impressed with their duet himself. "That was not bad - for our first try", he gave his partner some credit.

"Grandpa, I wasn't aware you were looking for new recruits for The Gents", Amy commented, making the men finally notice her. She walked up to them both, looking at the setting with an awe.

"The Gents...?" Mitch echoed.

Mitch was relieved to see that Amy didn't look particularly angry or worried. Maybe things were okay with the client horse. If that was the case, he had gotten lucky.

"That was Grandpa's band back in the day", Amy informed him. "Or I guess, still is, though they haven't played for what... six years?" She checked to see Jack's reaction. Amy wasn't sure if all the members were even still alive.

"Well, who knows, maybe if Mitch does well on this gig of his, I might just ask the guys if we need a new guitar player", Jack joked, making Mitch blush a little. He really didn't like to be the center of attention. "God knows we need some new blood to the line-up."

"As if you weren't dripping with the ladies already", Lisa commented, recalling The Gents's last gig on Jack's birthday, "you add Mitch to the mix, and you're guaranteed to get few more groupies!" she joked.

Mitch shook his head, feeling a little overwhelmed.

"Oh, come on... I was so rusty, Jack basically saved my ass by playing with more confidence. And the singing helped a little bit too. Besides, it's not given I will even be playing at that wedding", Mitch reminded. "I still have to send Dom the audition tape."

"You're going to play at some wedding?" Amy asked, holding Lyndy while they talked. She had not seen Mitch for days, so she wasn't all caught up.

It was hard for Mitch to focus on her question because he had been so worried about Amy and the situation with Bruni that it was almost strange to have such a casual conversation with more care-free Amy as the first thing after him being asked to leave.

"Uh, well, who knows. This buddy of mine asked if I could possibly cover for this guitar player that broke his arm, and I told him I'd consider it, but I haven't played in years, so I'm not exactly confident I'll even book the gig", Mitch explained, trying to act normal and not let his concern for Amy show, especially since it looked like she was fine and he had worried for nothing.

"I'm sure Grandpa can give you some pointers, if you need any", Amy said. "Anyway. I came to pick up Lyndy. She's been fed, I'm sure?"

"Oh, yes", Lisa confirmed. "And her diaper has been changed as well, so it's all good."

"Thanks, guys. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight", she said to everyone collectively and left to the mudroom to put Lyndy's coat on.

"Goodnight. Bye, Lyndy", Lisa waved the little girl.

"Sleep well", Jack told them, strumming with the guitar.

"Night..." Mitch mumbled, even though Amy couldn't probably even hear it.

Jack then continued talking about playing guitar, but Mitch barely heard a word he was saying as he was so consumed by Amy's presence. He had thought being apart and doing their own things would make him realize there was nothing going on, but seeing her now made him more sure that he would have to do better job convincing himself that if he wanted to have a better chance of actually believing it.


	70. Chapter 70

"Hey, could you", Mitch suggested to Lisa after a while, "film us singing something together, so Dom can see how I play with others, seeing I'd be playing with a band if this thing really happens? Then I can film my solo audition later on when I've practiced something else."

He figured he didn't want to bother Jack later with this, but now that they were sat down and jamming, it would just be easy to have a video of them playing together. If it went well, he'd sent it to Dominic and if not, well, then he would just send him the solo audition.

"Oh, that's a good idea!" Lisa said, placing the wine glass down and pulling out her phone. Mitch noticed Jack looking at the phone with displeasure which made him wonder if he had made a mistake by bringing back some memories about the filming during night Lisa had done in order to try and reveal Jack's possible health problem.

"If that's alright with you, Jack...?" Mitch checked. He didn't want to create any problems.

"I suppose so", Jack said, trying to focus back to the guitar since just a while ago they had had pretty good atmosphere going on.

Lisa got up and positioned herself in a way that would capture both men to the video. When they had decided a song together, Jack and Mitch started strumming a little and after they decided they were ready, Lisa pressed the record button.

* * *

An hour or so later, Mitch placed Jack's guitar down to where it had been before he had picked it up while Jack placed Ty's guitar from his hands back to its case.

"I should be going. I'll do the night check tonight, so you don't need to worry about it", Mitch said to Jack, hoping the man would get some rest and maybe Lisa and him would get a chance to talk about the sleeping thing - or whatever they felt like doing.

"Thanks." Jack appreciated it even though he didn't know Mitch's hopes for them, but he was feeling pretty tired and would not mind turning in early. "Hey, since you're going to the barn, could you take this back to the office? It was in the right corner, next to the shelf."

Mitch looked at the case of the guitar Jack had been playing and nodded stiffly.

"I should probably give it to Ty when I see him next... Wonder if he ever remembers he has that thing", Jack thought out loud, thinking it seemed like a theme of sorts. "It belongs to him, after all. - He'll come to get Lyndy next weekend, so maybe then."

He caught himself reminiscing again, even though the reality was far from what had once been. To him, Ty had always felt like a son, kind of like Tim had back in the day, but it seemed like they had both chosen to steer their lives away from their families. Tim was back into the family's life now, but it had been a long road home and even now they didn't still always get along despite having a business together - or sometimes maybe partly because of it.

It had been nice to have someone to play with, but Jack doubted Ty would ever pick up playing again or really even share anything with him, to begin with. If anything, he would probably sell the guitar since it seemed like he was not really good with commitments, whether it was guitar playing or staying through troubling times.

"I'll take it", Mitch said, accepting the case from Jack.

"I'll send you the video", Lisa promised before the man would slip away from them.

Mitch smiled and looked at them both. "Thanks for the dinner", he added when he started heading out.

"You're welcome", Jack said, feeling a little sad all over again. It was easy to forget how things were because for the last couple of years things had seemingly been the same - Ty had been gone and Amy was home with Lyndy. The only difference now was that it seemed like it was for good. Jack had been so focused trying to protect Amy that he had not really realized he had not dealt with the break-up himself from his own point of view.

It was like he had lost a son and accepting it was hard.

* * *

In the loft, when Amy was done giving Lyndy her bath and getting the girl's PJs on, she decided to check how Bruni was doing.

After Ty's near-death-experience from the tick bite, his compulsive need to make sure Lyndy was not dying due to whatever dangers lurked out there for babies had made the man go great lengths to make sure they were doing everything right with the baby. As Ty had stayed home to help with Lyndy, he had used a lot of their money to make sure the loft was safe for Lyndy and one of the things he had bought - to help him monitor Lyndy while she was sleeping - was a baby cam. Since Lyndy was now bigger and more monitored personally by someone throughout the day anyway, the camera no longer had much use - until now.

Amy had placed the camera to the hut so she could check on Bruni whenever she wanted. She now reached out for her phone and opened an app so she could have a look at how the horse was doing. After the fall, Bruni had been under intense care. The horse was now doing much better, but Amy still wanted to make sure that she was improving and not taking any steps back.

It seemed to her that the horse was resting and doing well, so it made her feel a little bit more relaxed. Working with Cassandra closely for these couple of days made her realize she really missed having someone there to help her with everything - and admitting that was not a weakness. She couldn't do everything on her own as a single mother who had to - and wanted to - work. It felt like she was making a positive change with something again, and she was thankful Jade, Lisa and Grandpa were there to help her with it all.

And Mitch, too.

As Amy was ready to put Lyndy to bed, she heard noises from the barn and listened closely. It was either Grandpa or Mitch doing the night check. Hearing it made her feel less alone.

Even though it had been rough couple of days, she was thankful for getting some time to think through it all while she had been working with Bruni.

After pouring out all of the things to Mitch, Amy felt a little guilty for dumping it on him like that. A little time for herself was what had been needed for her to process all those feelings and memories in order to move on a little, the most important part had been getting started and she had, with Mitch.

Now, after isolating herself a little mostly without meaning to because of Bruni, she was happy to get back to being with other people whether it was Cassandra, Grandpa or Mitch. Being alone had made her realize just how much she didn't want to be alone anymore. Even though Ty had abandoned her, being alone like this was her choice now. She had amazing people around her, helping her and caring for her, and she didn't want to take that for granted. It was because of them that she had been able to get this far.

While listening to the noises from downstairs, Amy felt like she had some unfinished business she needed to deal with. The last few days, she had been taking turns looking after Lyndy and Bruni and she had barely had any time to look after other horses, do other chores or even talk to other people for that matter - outside Cassandra, but even with her it had mostly been about Bruni's condition.

After checking the horse one more time, Amy put her phone away and went downstairs. If the person downstairs was Grandpa, she would thank him for filling in with the chores and if the person in the barn was Mitch... well, she felt like she needed to say something to him as the atmosphere was a little bit strange between them now.

Lyndy looked around with her as they reached downstairs and leaned sleepily on her shoulder as she held her close. After turning a corner, Amy could see Mitch giving few scratches to Spartan. He wasn't in a hurry and it seemed like he was giving the horse the attention he had been lacking for these past few days.

"Good thing someone's giving him some love", Amy commented, making Mitch turn his head. He looked surprised, maybe even a little bit nervous, which made Amy feel a little bad. "I feel guilty for not spending more time with him or taking him on a trail ride these past few days."

"Well, I'm sure it'll be fine soon", Mitch commented, looking at Spartan. "You've been busy with a client horse. She's doing better now, right, so you'll be back to giving Spartan more attention in no time", he figured with an optimistic attitude.

"It's true", Amy admitted, looking at Mitch. He was avoiding any eye contact which only made the tension bigger. "It's not the only thing I should have given my attention, though. I wanted to come and tell you I'm sorry about the whole thing at the hut... Not only for talking too much, but also telling you to leave like that. I was worried, but I shouldn't have been so rude to you."

"It's okay, I get it, honestly", Mitch said, seeing no need for an apology. He was the only one who should have apologized. "I've been worried about the whole thing, too. I really was afraid I screwed it up for her and you. I didn't mean to, but... I still put you two in danger. I'm so sorry."

"Apology accepted", Amy replied, feeling like she had seen Mitch's sincerity. "Besides, I asked you to stay, so it was partly my fault too. I don't know, I guess I just needed someone there for a moment. I know you didn't mean any harm... and actually, you kind of helped me with her", she was happy to share the news.

"Helped you...?" Mitch looked at him with a confused look on his face. "How?"

"Well, we talked about smells and then... when you held her, she started smelling your clothes. It was kind of something that helped me realize what she needed. She didn't want to be alone", Amy explained. "She comes from Iceland where they have these big herds of horses, it's all she knows. And suddenly she's been isolated against her will and she's in a strange place, she doesn't know what to do, she doesn't know who to trust. So... I tried to make it as comfortable for her as possible, include her in a herd without risking her health. The signs are telling me she's improving. So, thank you for that."

"Huh..." Mitch was almost stunned. "Didn't realize me screwing up might actually help with her... That's an unexpected turn of events."

"Well, these sort of things aren't usually easy to figure out. I have to really keep my eyes and ears open to everything, because anything could be a key to fixing it all", Amy explained, gently caressing Spartan's cheek. Lyndy seemed to enjoy watching the horse from up-close as well. "It's kind of like... you can't get fixated on one thing, thinking you've figured it all out, because that's when you've gone lost. You have to open to anything. The solution might come out whenever, even when you thought you already had it all figured out."

Amy looked at Mitch and finally held his gaze. There was that strange feeling between them again.

"I guess that's true..." Mitch admitted, wondering if they were still talking about the horse. It was hard for him to stay focused because it almost felt like Amy was telling him the same things he had been thinking these past few days, as if she was reading his mind. It was strange and almost bewitching. How did she do that?

Both of their hands lingered against Spartan's neck, almost touching each other as they looked one another. Mitch resisted bringing his fingers any closer even though there was like a magnetic pull. And Amy waited.

"Helping Bruni has made me realize we have a lot of common with her", Amy then continued, trying to continue as if this was not phasing her. "I guess I, too, felt like I had been isolated, taken from what I've known, not knowing who to trust. When you think something one way and it turns out to be the other, it throws you down. And that experience is very personal. You don't see a way out, you feel alone. But then... in comes someone and gives you some type of hope that this is not the be-all and end-all. That there's a life waiting for you if you just hold on a little longer. It's hard, but you just have to have a little faith."

Mitch listened and watched Amy, seeing her eyes glisten.

"And I almost felt like... you've been the me to my Bruni, if that makes sense", she hummed a little, trying to make it clearer what she meant. "What I mean is that... you've stuck with me through all of this, asking nothing in return. Just... being there because you want to help, just like I want to help Bruni because I believe she has a life left to live and people who will come into her life and love her. And she trusts me to help her, kind of like I have trusted you to help me too. I haven't had that in a while... Honestly, I can't even remember when was the last time I knew I could trust something or someone, outside my family." She sighed. "But I know I can trust you. So... thank you for giving me that back, that faith that people can still be trusted and I'm not a fool for wanting to trust people and thinking they can be trusted."

Mitch was stunned again. He had not really thought about it that way, as he had just tried to do what was right, but it was nice to hear that it had meant something for Amy.

"I'm glad if you feel that way..." Mitch said, smiling a little. "And I do believe that there is still so much life for you to live and I'm glad if you're starting to see it, too."

Amy returned the smile, then noticing the little girl yawning against her shoulder. "I should get this one to bed. But I just wanted to thank you, for everything. It really has made a big difference, you have no idea."

"You're welcome", Mitch replied, not really knowing what else to say. As their fingers brushed one another when Amy pulled hers away, Mitch could almost feel his body getting electrified.

Amy returned back upstairs, feeling her heart beat faster as well. She didn't know what to make of this reaction she was having from seeing Mitch, talking to him and even touching him briefly. It sounded pretty crazy that such a light brush of hands was strong enough to make her feel something like this, but it felt like it wasn't just about the longing of physical contact. For her, it was more about that trust she had just talked about. How it made her feel so alive again, so strong, like herself. Like she could achieve anything again.

She knew she could pull through anything - she already have during her short life - but somewhere along the way, she had almost given up hope for anything good for ever happening to her again. But now, she was getting that back, with a little help from people close to her.

As for everything else that surrounded it - the whole scenario that she was experiencing this with Mitch, of all people - she didn't really know what to think about it. Amy understood it probably sounded and looked kind of odd for someone else, but sometimes strange connections happened and there was no making sense of them.

Sometimes you just had to ignore whatever titles had once been and go past histories in order to focus on the core of whatever you were experiencing.

Trust.


	71. Chapter 71

Caleb grabbed the two bottles of beer from the bar and walked to Ty who was already sat on the table. The cowboy had just picked up his friend from the airport, and they had been on their way to Heartland to get Lyndy so Ty could stay in a hotel for a night until he and his daughter would be on their way to Vancouver for a week. Before driving there, however, Caleb had decided they needed to talk a little, preferably over beer because the topic was going to be so tense he felt like they needed to loosen up a little.

It had been a while since they had last seen each other, Ty had been out of the country too, and it seemed like they lead completely different kind of lives these days altogether since Ty was so busy with Vets Without Borders and Caleb was helping Tim with the rodeo school kids. Still, no matter how little they had talked, and maybe exactly because of that, Caleb felt concern over his friend and especially Ty's family. It would be good to sit down a little between the crazy schedules and catch up. Not to mention, there was something Caleb really wanted from Ty.

His side of the story.

"So... how you've been?" Caleb asked when he placed Ty's beer in front of him.

"Busy. With the way things are going, we are needed more than ever to foster the health of animals, people and the environment around the world", Ty explained, taking a sip from his bottle. "It's been stressful, but I can tell we are making a difference and that's the best reward. These next few days with Lyndy is exactly what I need to relax a little..." His body language was tense and it looked like he had not really been able to sleep lately, but it made sense based on everything he was saying.

"It's still kind of wild you're doing what you're doing, running around, being all eco-warrior and everything", Caleb hummed. It felt like just few years ago Ty had slept on his couch, outside the trailer, and now he was out there, saving the world. "I know it's a good thing and I'm proud of you for doing that, but... I kind of have to confess; I miss the good old days, you know, how we used to do things together, talk and stuff. We've barely had any time to talk to each other; even with the trip to Vancouver, you mostly talked about vet stuff with Cassandra. Most of it went over my head."

"Well, we are talking now", Ty stated even though it was kind of obvious. He rubbed his face, trying to be present for his friend. "What's new with you?"

"Oh, nothing much. Just rodeo school stuff", Caleb replied and drank. Ty expected something more, but nothing else came out. His eyebrows went up in anticipation.

"Okay..." Ty replied, wondering why did Caleb want to talk so bad if that was all he wanted to say. Seemed kind of pointless. "Is that all?"

"Well, not really", Caleb admitted, wondering how he would bring it up. "I just... I've just been hearing all kinds of things about you lately and I don't know if there's any truth to them. I'd like to believe there isn't, but... I still gotta ask."

Ty shrugged. "Then ask?"

"What really happened between you and Amy? And this whole Vancouver thing?" Caleb inquired.

When he saw Ty sighing and taking a big gulp of his beer, he realized this wasn't Ty's favorite subject. The man leaned back on his chair, looking defeated.

"Is that why you asked me here...?" Ty said, already taking his jacket from the chair, not feeling like talking but more like wanting to get out of there to do what he had come here to do. "Here I thought this was going to be you buying me a beer and not you arranging some kind of intervention. - Look, I don't know what you've heard, but to me, it's all in the past already. I'd like to move on."

He left his beer half-finished and was getting his coat on.

"Is it true you basically abandoned Amy?" Caleb stopped him with a direct question. It made Ty look at him as it demanded his attention. "That you left Scott in the lurch with his business?"

"Who's been telling you this...?" Ty asked, squinting, even though he had his suspicions. He was annoyed; he really didn't needed this right now. "Amy?"

"Cassandra. Scott. Amy. Everyone", Caleb confessed, even though he felt a little bad about throwing them under the bus. Then again, it wouldn't take much for Ty to figure it all out, so maybe it was best to just be honest. It seemed like Ty not answering was an answer itself. "Come on, man. Are you serious?" His tone was disappointed.

Ty sighed, pulling the collars of his jacket up. "I don't want to hear it, okay-"

"You may not _want to_ hear it, but you _need to_ hear it. What was all that crap you told me about your life in Vancouver and how things went with Amy? Or Scott?" Caleb wondered, getting upset with his friend. "It seems to me you know what you're doing ain't right if you need to lie about it-"

"I didn't lie! I was telling what was real to me", Ty interrupted him firmly. "I know Amy has her own version of events..."

"Whatever, man", Caleb scoffed, knowing that Amy and Scott had more evidence against Ty than to support his side of things - according to Cassandra. "I've seen all the bridges you've left behind and the sight ain't pretty. You really let us all here down. What did you think was going to happen? That people would just ignore everything you did, be okay with it and let it be? I get this is all exciting, but there had to be another way to go about it all... Do you realize what you have - or had? How good you had it? Why did you throw it all away? After everything you did to get here?"

"Because there's more to life than me or this, there's a whole world out there that needs my help. I wanna help to make a difference", Ty explained angrily. "I have the knowledge and tools to help, so what would you have me do? Throw all that away? Get stuck here and hope for the best while others are suffering? How's that better?" he said.

"Okay, I get that you want to help, but why did you handle the whole thing like you did? Why didn't you tell Scott and Amy what you were doing?" Caleb couldn't understand that part even though he understood the want to be elsewhere as he had spent most of his younger years doing circuits around Canada and States. "You totally disrespected Cass too."

That Ty couldn't really explain - at least not to others, it seemed. He knew it was about his past and how he had never been able to settle down and just be happy with whatever he had, so when he had noticed strings around himself, like someone kind of Gulliver, he had not known what else to do than break free with any way possible. After all, how he had handled things in the past had gotten him to where he was at, so following that same logic came naturally to him. Ty knew there were all these societal rules how to handle things, but he had never been about that.

"Because they wouldn't have understood - and they proved me right!" Ty fought back. "Look, it doesn't matter. I'm doing a job I'm passionate about, Cass is Scott's new partner, Amy got the life she always wanted to have... We have all moved on, so I don't really see the point of talking about this."

Caleb shook his head, wondering what could jolt his friend to realize what he would miss if he now walked away from this. He knew from his own experience as someone who came from a broken family and had also gotten divorced himself - mostly against his will - that it hurt like hell.

Maybe he couldn't fix all the problems, but in his mind, he had swore to protect Lyndy, his goddaughter. Growing up with a single parent, after his mother had abandoned him and his father, he held his own father to a high standard because he had been the one who had stayed. He didn't want Lyndy to think the same things about Ty that he had thought about his own mother.

Then it came to him.

Caleb had tried the same thing with Amy before, but it had not worked, his logic being that it was probably because she and Ty had been in a different parts of the world at the time and they had not had a chance to really communicate. But now they were both in Hudson, and he could plot them to speak to one another, maybe even fight for their relationship.

"Yeah, maybe you're right. I mean, Amy seems to have moved on too", Caleb started slowly building the plot to get his two friends talking things through since it seemed they were both too stubborn to understand they belonged together, because love always won, or well... most of the time anyway. "But I mean, it's kind of comical. You know, her type. Then again, she barely leaves the house, so where else is she going to find anyone, right?"

"Her type?" Ty echoed. Was Amy seeing someone?

"Well, ranch hands", Caleb explained.

Ty's eyes narrowed again. "What...?"

"I mean, first you, then me - though it's weird to even think about now", Caleb said, almost shuddering because they were better friends than lovers, "and now Mitch. But I guess it's like you've said; you've both moved on. You have your life with Vets Without Borders, and Amy and Lyndy have Mitch."

"Wait... Amy and Mitch... are together?" Ty checked what he was hearing was correct. That didn't seem right. Weren't Lou and Mitch somehow still involved?

"Well, I don't think they've made it official, I think it's because they want to spare your feelings", Caleb said. All was fair in war and love, right? "And I hate to be the one to tell you instead of Amy, but since you two aren't talking, maybe it doesn't matter where it comes from as long as it reaches you. Besides... it might be a bit awkward if Lyndy decides to call Mitch "dada" when you pick her up and you don't have any idea what's going on... I mean, if anything, as your friend I feel like I have to say something", he acted all noble.

Ty's eyes flared up. "Come on. Get up." His tone was tense.

"What? Why?" Caleb asked. "I haven't even finished this beer!"

"We are going to Heartland", Ty stated as if there was no negotiating about it.

Caleb stood up, feeling happy that his plan seemed to work. One beer didn't matter much in the grand scheme of things as everything was finally shifting.

He took one long sip from his beer before he grabbed his jacket and left with Ty. "Alright!"

When they got out and reached Caleb's truck, Ty extended his arm. "I can drive."

"Yeah, okay, why not", Caleb figured since he got to do enough driving around all day. He handed Ty the keys from his pocket and started walking to the other side of the truck. When he reached the passenger side, Ty had already started the engine but for some reason had locked his door.

"Ty, the door's locked", Caleb said, knocking the window to get his attention. "Yo-hoo?"

But his words went completely ignored as Ty drove away, tires almost squealing.

"Hey, Ty! Wait!" Caleb tried to run after him, but it was no use. Ty was already gone.

At Heartland, Mitch was sweeping the barn floor when he heard a truck pulling in. He wouldn't have probably thought much of it, because Jack and Lisa were in the house and they both had vehicles they used to come and go, but the speed of the truck caught his attention. He stopped what he was doing and walked up to the barn door, sliding it open to see who was outside.

Upon first inspection, it looked like Caleb but then he noticed Ty jumping out from behind the wheel and storming toward the barn. He knew the man would pay a visit since he was going to pick up Lyndy and take her to Vancouver, but they had not expected him for another hour - or to arrive alone with Caleb's truck, for that matter.

Not only was his arrival and timing unexpected, his body language seemed... strange, too. It made Mitch a little alerted, but he couldn't see a reason for any danger, so he just ignored the signals his mind was giving him - they had been known to play tricks on him before.

"Amy, Ty's here", he hollered to Amy who was upstairs, getting Lyndy's things ready for the trip. He put the broom away and adjusted his gloves.

When Ty finally reached the barn, Mitch tried to come up with a smile even though he had to admit that he didn't really like the guy after what he had done to Amy and treated her in the past, but he didn't want to break Amy's trust and let him know he knew more than Ty probably expected.

"Hey, Ty. Come to get Lyndy already?" he still greeted him, but instead of getting a "hi" back, Ty punched him right in the face without any hesitation. Mitch was so stunned by Ty's reaction, that he didn't understand what had happened right away. His body jerked back against one of the pillars of the barn, and Ty quickly came to grab him by his jacket so he could toss him against the floor violently. When his head hit the cement, Mitch could hear this strange echo in his head.

For a while, Mitch couldn't see anything but darkness and flashing colors, though he did feel pain at the back of his head and his nose was throbbing. Still, his body was telling him to protect himself, so he tried to push Ty back but it only made him more furious.

"She's... my... daughter!" Ty kept hissing as he kept jerking him with anger, hoping to hurt him as much as he could.

Hearing unusual noises from downstairs, Amy left Lyndy to her pen and went to see what was happening in the barn. She was shocked to find Mitch on the floor, Ty bent over him and blood gushing out of the other man's face.

The adrenaline kicked in and she rushed to pull Ty away from Mitch. "Ty! Stop! What the hell are you doing?! Stop! You're killing him!"

"I'm showing him his place!" Ty said, his fist bloody and his face red with anger as he tried to get away from Amy's grip. But Amy wouldn't let him; she forcefully dragged him to the barn office without thinking about her own safety. A fury fueled her.

"Are you crazy?!" Amy yelled at him as she pushed him inside. "What did you do that for?!"

"Caleb told me, about you and Mitch", Ty spit, out of breath, looking at Amy with disgust, "and how he's trying to take my place as Lyndy's dad."

Amy shook her head, keeping Ty back. "What are you on about...?"

"Don't act so innocent! Don't think I don't know this is exactly what you do!" he foamed. "I can't believe you would do this to me, after what you pulled after you thought I was seeing Nomi. I thought we had a deal, that if we were to see someone, date someone, we would talk about it with one another and not go behind each other's backs so we can approve whoever's going to come into Lyndy's life. I don't know why I was stupid enough to believe you'd actually tell the truth..." Ty mocked, shaking his head with disappointment.

Amy looked at him with anger and asked with a dark tone: "What's that supposed to mean...?"

"Oh, come on", Ty scoffed. "Chase... Ahmed... You like it when men chase you and you want to keep it as your dark little secret. You enjoy the attention, you always have and it looks like you haven't changed. You want to be saved-" he pointed toward Mitch's direction, "well, looks like you've found another prince to save you, or so you think, but you don't know these guys like I do. Besides, isn't he with Lou? How can you do this to your own sister? Do you have any respect for anyone?"

"Not that it matters, but no, he's not with Lou", Amy corrected. "And "these guys"? Respect? Secrets and lies? Are you kidding me... Look at yourself! You're worse than I am!" She scoffed. "I've never wanted to be saved, I can take care of myself! The fact that you thought I needed saving, that I needed someone to punch all the guys I've ever interacted with, is your own creation, your own jealousy or possessiveness. I never asked you that, I never wanted you to do that! You just hurt a man who hasn't done anything wrong..." she said, worrying how Mitch was doing, but she needed to keep Ty away from him or he could kill him, she was sure.

"Just admit it; I was never enough for you", Ty said with a wild look in his eyes. Like he was looking for more blood. It made Amy a little scared because he seemed like an animal, but this wasn't the first time she had had to survive out of a bad situation with a man. "You know what... I'm not surprised you would do this to me, with Mitch of all people", he then continued so carelessly it made him seem ever more scary. The way his moods just changed like that. But Amy knew the rage was still burning under his skin. This was just his way to manipulate her - and maybe it even worked a little, just maybe not the way he had hoped it would.

She was not going to be quiet, apologize for his mistakes and continue living in his shadow. After everything Amy had went through, dealt with and now come to realize, her mind had decided she was not going to just take it anymore.

"You're right. You were never enough for me; you were never enough a man to respect me or trust me. I don't know why I ever thought you could be because you kept disappointing me over and over again. You made me live in fear", Amy spoke. "You're telling me I'm the problem, but look at yourself; you can't even control your temper when you've heard a lie. You didn't even bother to find out if it was true first! But I don't think that has ever mattered to you... Punch first, ask later, that's how you do things...Time for apologizes later, if ever. Or maybe I'm going to do the apologizing for you. That's what it's always been like with you. Do you have any idea how that's been for me? How humiliating and dangerous that is for anyone around you? You're like a dog with a foaming mouth, waiting for someone to bite because you just can't control yourself. Or even worse, a dog not giving any warning signs before an attack. - You think yourself a hero, but you're the problem."

Ty smiled mockingly at Amy's monologue.

Amy stayed firm. "Now... get out."

"I came to pick up Lyndy..." Ty reminded her, not letting Amy's words phase him, and making no effort to leave. He felt he had the right to be here.

Amy laughed mockingly. "You gotta be kidding me? Do you really expect me to let you take her anywhere? Especially after this? Your fist is bloody because you just beat up someone. There's no way she's going anywhere with you - ever again."

"She's my daughter too!" the man yelled, getting furious again.

"You gave up that right when you walked away from her, from us", Amy said quietly, but firmly. "Schemed to make all of these plans of yours happen. Tried to take her from the only place she's come to know as home-"

"I was trying to make Vancouver home for us!" Ty tried to justify his actions for what felt like a millionth time, feeling tired of Amy's whining.

"No, you weren't. If you had, you would have talked to me about it first." Amy shook her head. "But that's your thing, isn't? Trying to make yourself useful, whether it's by punching people or making plans for me, but it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, because your way is the only way", she continued, picking up her cellphone. "I'm calling the police."

Ty laughed a belittling laugh. "A police...?"

"You just abused Mitch, and I feel threatened. Not to mention, I need to protect Lyndy", Amy said, pressing the green icon on her cell. "I should have done this long time ago... Maybe we wouldn't be here if I had..." she muttered as she pressed the phone on her ear.

It made Ty step back and rush out of the barn office door. As she saw Ty's back, Amy felt herself shiver. It was a mix of anger, fear and relief. She felt like throwing up even though in front of Ty, she had kept her cool. When the other end of the line picked up, she found herself choked up and hung up because no words came out. Tears started streaming down her face as all of the anguish and shock flew out of her.


	72. Chapter 72

"Mitch…" First words finally pushed through Amy's lips as she squeezed the cellphone in her hand. Her feet started making their way back to the man while her mind was catching up with what had just happened. It was like she was dissociated. "Mitch…" she breathed again as she got closer.

 _Ty. Mitch. Blood._

 _Was he okay?_

She heard the man groaning on the hard floor and saw him blinking rapidly, trying to see where he was. His breaths were short and groggy because he couldn't breathe through his nose, and Amy could only imagine how his head was feeling.

 _He's alive,_ Amy sighed internally, kneeling down and putting the phone away to get a better look at Mitch's injuries. Even though Amy had seen a lot of bruises, blood and gore during her life as a rehabilitator, it was still different when the incident was still so fresh and it was a person she cared about.

"Don't move… or you might hurt yourself even more", Amy told him, making a quick analysis of Mitch's injuries. He seemed panicky.

"My head..." was all he could say. It seemed he still didn't quite understand what was going on. "It hurts..."

"I know..." Amy replied, wanting him to know he would be looked after. She didn't know what came over her as she was checking up on him, it was like she could only focus on him and make sure he would not die on her despite her not really even being that stable herself.

"Ty..." Mitch too was starting to catch up. His eyes were suddenly filled with fear as she looked at Amy.

"He's gone… You're safe. I will call help", she assured the man so he didn't have to worry about dying on the barn floor as his breathing got quicker, closer to a panic attack.

As she was about to grab her phone back into her hand, she heard steps. Her heart jumped and chills went down her spine as she thought it was Ty was coming back to finish what he had started, maybe even with some weapons, but thankfully it was not him she saw at the entrance.

It was Grandpa and Lisa.

"Was that Ty we saw…?" Jack wondered, glancing over his shoulder as he watched Caleb's truck drive through the Heartland gates far away. "He was in a hurry! Did he even have the time to pick up Lynd–" His words died when he saw Mitch lying on the floor, his face damaged.

"What happened…?" Lisa gasped as she had a peek over Jack's shoulder. She pushed through and hurried to Mitch. "What happened?" she asked again, looking at Amy.

Amy tried swallowing the lump down in her throat down as her mouth looked for a right way to form words. It was one thing to live with a fear of violence all alone, but another thing to explain it to someone else, even with evidence. What if they wouldn't believe her? What if this was all her fault? What if she'd just make it worse?

As she began to try and explain what had happened, Amy noticed herself almost going for a lie, even belittling the situation, but something stopped her. What was she doing? Why would she lie? She couldn't do that, not to Mitch. He deserved better.

It was time for her to speak the truth.

"I didn't… see how it happened, but… I came down and…" Amy said, her eyes getting teary again out of exhaustion. She was starting to become more present again. "He… Ty was hitting Mitch… He was… His hand… There was blood. He kept hurting Mitch…"

Jack stood still, almost like a statue, looking at Mitch's face that was covered in blood. He heard what Amy said, but somehow he couldn't do anything. He was just frozen.

"What…? Ty…? Why?" Lisa asked, not believing what she was hearing, though she couldn't imagine Amy doing this to Mitch either. Still, it was hard to digest. "We need to call an ambulance", she decided even before getting an answer from Amy. Time for explanations was later. Mitch needed help - now. Thankfully she had her phone on her jacket pocket and she pulled it out, calling help.

"I don't… I don't know", Amy stuttered, her voice fragile. Her body was starting to shut down again as her mind stopped working in the face of this trauma. "I think he was jealous. Angry… - Oh my god, Lyndy." Amy's thoughts went from Mitch to Ty to Lyndy, and round and round again.

"I'll get her", Jack finally spoke again. "Where is she?" he worried.

"Upstairs", Amy said, feeling like she couldn't breathe. Her head was dizzy and she knew she needed to sit down. She moved from her knees into a sitting position and leaned back, against one of the stalls.

"I got it", Lisa said as she saw Amy struggling. "Just breathe."

* * *

Amy couldn't remember the police getting there, but suddenly she found herself sitting in the barn office, wrapped in a blanket, bombarded with questions, like "Can you describe the suspect?" and "What's your relationship with the suspect?"

She answered the questions best to her ability while Mitch was being taken away by an ambulance. Lisa was upstairs with Lyndy while Jack kept Amy company, making sure everything would go well and she would be okay.

"Does…" the police woman began to talk and checked her notes, "Mr. Borden have previous history with violence?" she asked the feared question.

Amy looked down, feeling like she was being accused of something instead of Ty. Of course she knew the answer, it was a simple "yes", and when the police would run Ty's record, they would find about his probation and other run-ins with the law, and yet Amy still felt like somehow this was her responsibility. Like she was Ty's keeper and she had failed.

But how could she had predicted this?

"Uh… He… He does", Amy finally admitted. There was no use denying it - and besides Mitch deserved justice. This didn't happen to her, not really, so to pay back for all Mitch had done for her, the least she could do was tell the truth.

The police wrote that down and looked at Jack quickly, before bringing her eyes back to Amy, understanding this could be a delicate subject but it had to be asked. "Has he ever threatened your life, either physically or verbally? Even now?"

"No", Amy said with more courage, but at the same time she knew the answer was not simple. Ty had never threatened her life, but she still had felt unsafe sometimes around him, but it was hard to explain, so she just kept that to herself.

Somehow it was easier to say "no" than it was to admit that she had known something to be true and still she had ignored it or not thought too much of it. There was a brief moment when she felt relief, almost as if she was somehow giving Ty some credit so the police didn't think she had married a crazy man, but at the same time Amy realized just how messed up that was. She wasn't here to save Ty or justify her own decisions, she was here to tell the truth. This only went to show just how conditioned she was to protecting him.

The police nodded. "You said you have a daughter together. Has she ever been in danger due to your ex?"

"No", Amy shook her head. "He's not like that with us, he's not physically violent with me or her, it's just his temper with other people… He gets riled up if he thinks something bad is happening", she described. "In his mind, he is protecting us."

"Was something bad happening then? Were you threatened?" the police woman asked. "You said you came downstairs and only caught him in the middle of the alleged assault, but was there something going on to upset him? Maybe something you've told him before, or...?"

"He thought I was seeing Mitch- Mr. Cutty", Amy said, feeling a little embarrassed because Grandpa was in the same room. She knew it wasn't true, but it seemed like everyone thought it to be and somehow putting it on the record made the suspicions more pressing. "Apparently his friend, Caleb Odell–"

"Whose truck it was that he was driving", Jack added the part he had witnessed. He had already shared that fact with the police so they would have a better chance tracking Ty down, but felt like he still needed to add that to make the story more layered.

"Caleb had convinced him that it was true, so I guess that was why he attacked, but you'd have to ask him", Amy said, not really knowing what even went inside Ty's head during those moments or what had happened before he had gotten here. How much was Caleb to blame? "All he said was that Lyndy was his daughter and he was showing Mitch his place."

"We'll talk to this… Caleb Odell guy as well", the police assured, "so we'll get all sides of the story. If you want, we can leave an officer with you till the suspect has been detained to assure your safety", she offered.

"Thank you, I'd like that", Amy said, feeling a little relieved. She wanted to keep Lyndy - and others - safe. Even though part of her wanted to believe Ty would not hurt anyone else, she couldn't be completely sure about that since she had never could have imagined him beating up Mitch either.

"Is there anything else you'd like to add to your statement?" she was asked.

"Nothing I can think of", she replied, going through already what she had shared. They already knew she and Ty were separated and had had somewhat unstable relationship for a while and were in the process of getting divorced. She had described Ty's appearance at the time and explained a little bit what he was like as a person. The police already had a pretty good sense of what had happened based on the statements by the witnesses and they were already looking for Ty. Mitch would give his side of events when he would be patched up.

"Okay. If you see the need for debriefing, I'd contact your doctor about that. Sometimes when a person witnesses a trauma like this, it can be helpful for them to talk to someone about it", the police said. Amy nodded. She recalled getting something like that in the hospital after getting kicked in the head and becoming blind for a while. "We'll keep you informed. Take care, Ms. Fleming."

"Thank you", Amy said, feeling a little bit relieved. At least she had now done her part, shared what she knew, and yet after few seconds she realized the worst part might still be ahead of them.

What would happen to Ty? Would he just get off the hook, despite the evidence? He had before. Back then it had been a relief, now she wanted him to get some kind of punishment, hoping it would knock some sense into him. He couldn't keep living like this.

When the police woman left, Jack's focus was back to Amy. "Is it true what Caleb said...? About you and Mitch?" he asked carefully.

Amy barely looked over her shoulder to see her grandfather behind her and wrapped the blanket more tightly around herself. She was tired of people speculating. "If it was, would it justify abusing Mitch?" It was as if people didn't take no for an answer unless it was the response they were after.

"Of course not", Jack shot down any assumptions of him accepting what Ty had done. He only wanted to know what they were dealing with.

"Then why does it matter?" Amy asked. "You think I lied to her about that?"

Jack shook his head and walked closer. He could tell Amy was getting annoyed and it seemed like his concerns were getting misinterpreted. "No, I didn't say that-"

"Then what are you saying?" Amy looked at him now with tired eyes.

"I only want to know why Ty did what he did", Jack explained.

Amy scoffed. "Why has he ever violently attacked anyone? Have you ever asked that question before? With Jesse? Chase? Ahmed? It's how he is. I can't even keep up with all the trouble he's put himself in - and us too," she sighed. "You know, we were lucky Ahmed didn't press any charges back then, that would have destroyed all of us. But maybe there should have been some some precautions. Maybe that would have saved us from a lot of trouble and grief. We've enabled this to continue so we have to take some responsibility too. But not anymore. He's out of our lives, and I'm done with him trying to drag us down with his bad decisions."

"You mean he's out of Lyndy's life too...?" Jack checked.

"Of course. I can't trust him anymore, not one bit. It's been hard these last few years, but now all the trust is gone. I can't put Lyndy's life at risk anymore, I don't care if he's her father - he is dangerous. I need to think what's best for her."

Jack nodded, thoughtfully.

"Alright..." Jack had understood Amy's side, loud and clear. "Will you, Lis and Lyndy be okay with the officer? I was thinking I should go and check on Mitch at the hospital."

"I think we'll be fine", Amy said. If the officer had not stayed with them, she might have felt a little more paranoid, but having some security gave her some peace of mind - at least for a little while.


	73. Chapter 73

The fire made the woods crackle in the stove, and it caused Amy to jump a little. She was holding Lyndy in her lap while they were sat on the couch that faced the corner of the loft, and the little girl looked up to see what was wrong with her mommy. Even though Lyndy couldn't really understand what was going on, she could sense that her mother was sad and she wanted her to be happy instead so she offered her stuffed toy, Pogie, to her which made Amy smile a little.

"It's okay, sweetie. You keep it", she said to her daughter.

After what had happened with Ty, Amy was paranoid about every little noise. There was still no word about the police catching him and even though she knew there was an officer going round and round the barn downstairs, she didn't feel safe, not until he was in handcuffs.

"Here's the tea", Lisa said, coming from the kitchen, and put the cup down on the table in front of Amy. "Why don't we let it cool off before you drink it", she suggested, not only because it was hot, but also because Amy was holding Lyndy in her lap and with a child that age, things were always a little more hazardous and the last thing they needed now were more injuries.

"Thanks, Lisa", Amy said, appreciating the woman keeping her company. She was always so nurturing and good with sensitive situations like this and even though Amy felt horrible about Mitch and being yelled at by Ty, having Lisa close-by made things at least a little bit better.

"And here's a little juice box for Lyndy", Lisa added with a grin, pulled it out from her cardigan's pocket and handed it to her great-granddaughter who was already reaching out her arms in hopes to grab it.

Even though the situation was weird and there was strange tension from anticipation in the air, Lisa wanted to help Amy make everything as normal as possible for the little girl. Thankfully she had not seen what had happened downstairs, but it was obvious Lyndy was feeding of from everyone's energy and knew something was off. If they could distract her with normal things, even for a little while, it was a small victory in this horrible mess.

"How are you doing...?" Lisa asked with concern as she took the place next to Amy and held her own tea cup. It seemed like Amy's life was just a beat after another, and she could hardly catch a break.

"To be honest, I don't even know..." Amy admitted with a somber voice, then kissing Lyndy's blonde curls as the girl started drinking her juice. "I'm a mess. I feel scared... angry... sad... All kinds of feelings. And all these other emotions from the past are washing over me too. Things I've tried to forget."

Lisa nodded, understanding completely. "I just can't understand this..." She shook her head in disbelief. "Did you even have a chance to talk to him? Ty, I mean. To get a better understanding of everything. I know you said some things downstairs when I called help, but..."

Amy looked down, holding back the tears again. "We exchanged few words", she put it nicely, even though it had been more like an argument. "Things were said."

From her tone Lisa could read between the lines.

"I know it's not the same thing, but I remember when Dan and I were getting divorced", Lisa said, hoping to create a bond with Amy that would allow her to feel that she could talk about anything she wanted to with someone who had some idea what she was going through. "It was ugly. We couldn't agree on anything. It was like we wanted to see who could hurt each other the most. I'm not proud of it, but sometimes divorces really bring the worst out in people... I think it's human. Doesn't make it easier, though."

"It was kind of like that", Amy admitted, "but also so much more than that. It only lasted for few minutes, but I can still feel the ripples in me because it sent me back in time to unresolved issues we've been having in the past that we have never dealt with... or didn't want to deal with."

She sighed, thinking about what Ty had said about Chase and Ahmed.

"Years worth of bottled up frustrations and anger were coming out. It wasn't just us trying to up one another, it was like all that stuff had waited to come out and now we just reached a boiling point. Ty brought up some things he's struggled with, and I didn't exactly hold back either..."

She didn't like when fights got dirty, but after what Ty had implied, she had not been able to stay quiet anymore and take the verbal beating.

"Hmm, I see", Lisa commented, nodding.

Amy hesitated at first, because maybe it would be strange for her to talk to Lisa about this, but then again, they were both grown women and they could talk about these things, right? She doubted Lisa saw it as anything weird, it was probably more about her being able to be open with someone she had not really been that open with in the past.

"Can I ask you something...?" Amy wanted to know, turning to look at Lisa. When the older woman gave her a little nod, she continued. "Have you ever had men fighting over you...?"

Lisa was careful not to raise her eyebrows as Amy's question created more questions for her. She tried to focus on the question at hand and sighed as she thought back. "To some degree, I guess."

"Have you ever enjoyed that? Men fighting over you or your attention?" Amy continued. It made Lisa think again. For Amy, it was not something she cared about, but apparently - according to Ty - some women probably did, because he thought it to be true. Maybe it was more common that she had come to realize - or maybe Ty was just wrong and had a strange perception of women.

"No", Lisa finally replied. "It's childish. Or maybe I've just become old, but... It makes me feel like I'm some kind of trophy when I'm not", she carried on. "It's as if I would not have a mind of my own; that I could not make the choice for myself when I'm perfectly capable of that. A man can't make my decisions for me. They never have and they never will be."

Amy nodded, thoughtfully. That was kind of what she wanted to think too, but she realized that lately a lot of decisions had been made for her. Maybe she had agreed to go through with them to some degree, even though deep down she had wanted to say no.

But it had been easier than facing the possible consequences. Unfortunately for her, one of the problems was that by doing that, she had only created more problems for herself in the long run.

"What about you?" Lisa asked in return. "Have you experienced that?"

"I have", Amy said frankly. "But there is only one occasion when it was at least somewhat intentional on my part to have that position where guys were fighting over me", she admitted. "When Ty left after his probation was over, I was really hurt. I thought I'd never see him again. I sort of began to accept that what I had with him - or could have had - was over and I would just have to move on with my life. But then... Grandpa brought him back here after he had spent time with his dad and gotten into fights. It was another hit, and I almost felt betrayed by Grandpa. He knew how heartbroken I had been, but Ty had asked his helped, so... Grandpa had gone and helped him out. I guess he was hoping Ty could start over again in here."

Lisa listened, recalling some of this, even though she had still been somewhat removed from the life at Heartland at that point.

"Anyway... I felt I was at crossroads at that point", Amy continued. "Caleb had just started working at Heartland not too long before that, and I guess we were being kind of flirty with one another, but I still found him a little bit too much. That didn't seem to stop him, though. He made his interest known but I kept my distance because I wasn't sure if I wanted to get mixed up in some relationship drama again. It was hard for me to trust anyone to stay. And besides, he seemed kind of... intense in the way he did things."

The woman next to her nodded and sipped her tea, giving Amy the opportunity to talk. It didn't matter that this was all in the past and it had happened years ago, clearly Amy had a reason to talk about it now, and whatever the reason was, she wanted to be there for her for it.

"Well, after a while, I started to realize I had not still moved on from Ty, no matter how much I had tried. I guess I kept wondering about that whole "what if" thing. You know, what if he had never left? What if he still liked me too? And if you recall that cattle drive we went to, the one with Grandpa's big saddle-"

"Hey!" Lisa acted offended, even though she knew that it had been kind of a talking point for a lot of people during that cattle drive. "I gave him that!"

That memory and Lisa's reaction made Amy smile briefly, but soon she was back to being serious.

"Please, continue", Lisa said, touching Amy's arm gently, not wanting to interrupt her flow.

"At that cattle drive, I really thought we would rekindle our relationship and we would end up getting together, eventually", Amy shared. "But then like few days later, Ty had sort of set his eyes on Kit and pretty much broke my heart again. When Kit asked if there was something going on with Ty and I - before she would make any moves - I kind of froze and said there wasn't. I didn't want to be his fool. And besides, my feelings didn't seem to matter because he clearly was keeping an eye out for other girls, so..." She shrugged.

"Hmm, yeah, sounds like a tough spot..." Lisa agreed.

"It was. And it was clear Ty liked Kit and Kit liked him, so... who was I in that equation? A third wheel. So I tried to suffocate my feelings again, but it was harder than I thought, especially when I saw the two be so happy. I became jealous, frustrated and bitter. I didn't understand what was so wrong with me. Why I was so hard to like", Amy explained.

"Oh, honey, I don't think it was you. Teenage boys are just... well, teenage boys. They don't exactly follow their hearts, if you know what I'm saying", Lisa murmured.

"I get that now", Amy admitted, "but back then I felt like I could not compete with these other girls. But... then there was Caleb, giving me all the attention I wanted from Ty and this speech about a real guy fighting over the girl they liked. It was his way of doing things and something kind of clicked in my head. I wanted to believe everything Caleb was telling me, even though he wasn't exactly the guy I wanted. But he was interested... So I was stupid and decided I should start seeing Caleb. I thought, what is the use of waiting this guy who clearly doesn't think I'm enough or who doesn't want to be with me? Why should I ignore this other guy who wanted to give me his all. It seemed so clear what I should do, you know, so I did what seemed like the no-brainer solution. I figured maybe eventually I would begin to see Caleb the way I had always seen Ty. Maybe I was clueless, I mean, I didn't exactly have a lot of experience from dating. Maybe I needed other people's opinions to make sense of things", she explained even though a lot of it brought back some embarrassing memories.

"But heart wants what heart wants, eh?" Lisa guessed already.

"Yeah..." Amy nodded, even though it all seemed so distant now; the idea of loving Ty that much and that intensely. "So, there we were, Ty was with Kit and I was with Caleb. At the time I wasn't sure if I was imagining it, but I saw Ty giving Caleb the stink eye a lot and he didn't seem to really like the fact that I was dating Caleb, so in my mind it was kind of my revenge for him leaving me. And I kept thinking that speech Caleb gave me a lot. Like, maybe he knew better - he was a guy, after all. Looking back, it was all so immature and so typical for teenagers... but it also taught me something about myself. Maybe there were some moments where I enjoyed it all... I wanted Ty to feel what I had felt because it seemed like nothing really phased him. Like he had no regrets. But I also learned that I didn't like doing that. It was mean of me. I was with Caleb for the wrong reasons and he didn't deserve that, despite him not ending up treating me as well as I had wanted. I didn't want that kind of drama in my life, it only gave me anxiety and more problems. So I vowed to myself to never stoop that low again."

"It's a good decision", Lisa complimented with a pride in her voice. She had known Amy to be mature, but it was always nice to be reminded by that. "And a very mature for someone that age."

"Thanks..." Amy said, but still not feeling like giving herself pat on the back, seeing she had still messed up so much after that. "It all came to an end, I broke up with Caleb and Ty broke up with Kit. At that time I was just so lost with everything and I was going through all these stressful situations and it sort of made me lose my focus. Thankfully with the help of mom's old friend, Victor, I got back on track and eventually I got together with Ty, but it was still this stain in my history. For years, I thought it was part of my journey, but I guess it only made Ty see me a certain way. It created this... stigma that has been hard to get rid of. I guess he figured that I enjoyed that, pitting guys against each other, that I wanted him to fight for me, because that was what I had taught to him accidentally with not knowing what I was doing..."

"Well, no one has things figured out, especially with something they've never done before", Lisa gave her some relief, but Amy still felt guilty. It was like she had taught bad manners to a puppy and now it was hard to unravel all that.

"I guess at first it's kind of cute, to realize someone cares about you that much, but after a while it gets old. It becomes a burden. You start to think things like "have I not proved to you that I am committed to this relationship and this relationship only? That what we have is serious?" I only wanted Ty, no one else. But what I had done with Caleb to him... it all probably woke something in Ty, some kind of instinct from the past, or something. At least that's what I always thought. He always told me he has had to fight for everything he has... so maybe he didn't trust for anything to be permanent, no matter what."

"Maybe, but it's also not your burden to carry. There's only so much you can do to prove yourself. The rest is up to him," Lisa commented. "Trust me, if I've learned anything in life is that you can't force other people to do anything they don't want to do. For example, you can't buy them a saddle - even if you only want the best for them - and expect them to love it as much as you do." She figured the big saddle was as good analogy as anything else.

Amy agreed by nodding. "But deep down it weighted me down. It was like it was my responsibility, because I had made him think this way to some degree. And looking back now, I've noticed it all began to be my responsibility; to keep him happy. He always reminded me how hard things had been for him and how hard things still were, and I get that, trust me, I do, but... I noticed I started limiting myself in order to keep him happy. I never wanted him to be unhappy... But that's not healthy, is it?"

"I get that", Lisa said, taking in a breath as it was starting to become a very personal topic for her as well. "It's hard to see someone you love struggle... But I also think that since you had no prior experience with relationships, maybe it all started to build up kind of wrong. You know, when you're in a long relationship, especially if it's your first real relationship and in such young age, you haven't really had time to really discover who you are. Some partners become stronger together by growing side by side, others... well, they fall apart because they realize they are no longer compatible. And in some long relationships every mistake you make becomes this huge crisis not only with yourself, but within the relationship. It demands you to reevaluate yourself, maybe sometimes at the cost of personal growth in order to keep the other one happy. And to carry all that for years... your relationship might end up being something you never expected it to be. At least that's what happened with me and Dan. And that's exhausting... Eventually I just couldn't understand why I was in this relationship when all it did was make me unhappy. There were constant reminders of my past that I could no longer change and at the same time, I wasn't given the freedom to grow. Dan expected me to be who I was when we first met, but that's not realistic, especially with us women. We go through such growth during our lifetime, especially in our teens and our young adulthood. Everything shapes us so intensely that it's just not realistic to be this same version of yourself all your life to all people. But that doesn't mean you were ever wrong in wanting certain things, it just means you live and you learn. You become a more layered person because of your experiences."

Amy sighed and it almost brought tears to her eyes. "You have no idea how good it feels to hear someone actually say that... I keep thinking these things alone and second-guessing myself, wondering if maybe I'm in the wrong for feeling this way..."

Lisa put her cup down on the table and took Amy's hand. She knew this was a big moment in Amy's life and she didn't want to just rush pass it. Lisa wished she had had someone there to say these same things to her when she was in the middle of her divorce process, but no one had really supported in her decision to part ways with Dan. Her mother had even said she was bringing shame to their family, but Lisa had known that she could no longer stay together with Dan and she needed to break free. If shame was the worst thing she could cause with it, then it really was worth it all. Looking back now, it had all worked out, but that didn't mean it diminished the power her marriage with Dan had once had over her.

"Oh, sweetie, you're not. Trust me on this. Give yourself the freedom to grow", Lisa assured Amy. The younger woman nodded. She tried to keep that in mind, but it was easier said than done.

"I just keep thinking about Ty's words..." Amy admitted. "His take on me doesn't really go together with what I think myself to be. I know I'm not that sixteen year old girl anymore, but for him, that image of me continued to live on because of these other guys that kept interfering with our lives - my life. But I can honestly say that the time with Caleb was the only one I'm guilty for playing guys against each other. All the other times... it's just these men messing with my head and me not knowing what to do."

"What do you mean by that...?" Lisa asked.

"Well", Amy sighed already, "I don't know. It's like I'm somehow blind to these social cues that other people see. It's kind of like this whole thing I've been explaining to you; that I don't really know something others seem to know. Apparently if you are nice to a guy, you're flirting. But I don't want to be not nice. So does that mean that I have to stop interacting with guys altogether in order to make sure people don't think I'm trying to hit on every man?"

"Oh, yes... That thing", Lisa let out a breath too as she figured she knew what Amy was talking about. "I know something about that as well. It took me a while to understand, especially when I was in France. I knew French guys to be "overly friendly", but I just thought that was their culture. In a way a lot of it is, you know, kisses on the cheeks, holding your hands while talking, using pet names, that sort of thing. It did feel a little strange to me at first, but after a while I got used to it; it was just what they did, there didn't have to be anything romantic about that because I did that with women and married men, too. But then out of the blue some guy thinks we're on a date when you're at a wine tasting with him while I've been completely oblivious to the whole thing. I mean, no one ever said it was a date, so how was I supposed to know, right? I just love wine!" She laughed a little, and Amy wished she could be as carefree about it too, but she just couldn't.

Especially not now.

Something Lisa was saying stroke a chord in Amy. So many memories with Ahmed came to mind, and all this time she had thought she had been the stupid one for thinking that she had had no idea that a farewell party with their whole team could somehow be considered "a date" in people's eyes.

Personally, she had always considered a date to be a mutual decision to go out together and do something romantic to flame the sparks that were already in the air. These moments would be shared by two people, and if you were engaged to be married, it was a clear sign you weren't on a date with someone or never wanted to be on a date with anyone but your fiance.

The party in France had not been anything like that in her mind, but for some reason, it had seemed like an opportunity for Ahmed to kiss her. And after her arrival back home, she had been shocked to find out so many other people thought like Ahmed too.

"Sorry... I need to use the toilet. Can you hold Lyndy for me for a while?" she asked, feeling choked up.

"Oh, of course", Lisa said, noticing the shift in the air, and then taking the girl from Amy. The younger woman strode to the bathroom, closed the door gently behind her and sat down on the edge of the tub, feeling her whole body trembling.

This was not the time to think about all that. The shame. The guilt. The anxiety. She needed to calm down before she could go back to Lyndy and Lisa.


	74. Chapter 74

"Excuse me..." Jack said carefully, leaning his body against the front desk of the hospital. The busy looking nurse behind it put down the phone after she was done with the call and tilted her head to take a better look at the old man.

"Yes?" she asked.

"I was wondering if you could tell me what the situation with a patient called Mitch Cutty is", Jack asked. "He was brought in here after an assault, just recently."

"Are you a family member?" the nurse asked, following the protocol.

"Well, not exactly, but... he is kind of like family. We have a business together, and he has a job at my ranch", Jack explained, sensing a problem coming. Still, he was hoping maybe the nurse would look pass whatever rules there were when they understood the situation.

"Then I'm sorry, we can't disclose that kind of information", the nurse said sympathetically, even though she came face to face with things like this daily and was somewhat tired of always explaining that they were not going to give out any information to anyone who wasn't a family member or an emergency contact.

"I see. Thank you anyway", Jack said, nodding a little and walking backwards, wondering what he could do. He sighed and looked around.

 _So close, but still so far._

Jack knew the time would tell them how serious Mitch's injuries were, but he just didn't feel like waiting that long. At the moment there was no information about anything new, whether it was about Ty's whereabouts or Mitch's situation. It was hard to just sit back and wait.

Fortunately for him, a young woman walked up to the desk, and he overhead her mention Mitch's name. He didn't know who this woman was, but there couldn't be that many Mitch Cuttys getting treated right now, could there?

"Alright, thank you", the woman said, adjusting the handbag on her shoulder as she was about to turn away and leave to find the room the nurse had just shared with her.

"Excuse me..." Jack said again, trying to keep a low profile. The brunette turned around and looked at him with a little bit of caution. "Sorry... I'm Jack Bartlett", he introduced himself, hoping to ease her mind a little. "Did I hear you right? Do you know Mitch? Mitch Cutty?"

"And you are...?" the woman asked with suspicion and looked at the man. She didn't look lofty to Jack, but more like wondering why his name rang a bell.

"Mitch's business partner. I also own the ranch where he works at", Jack explained, even though he wasn't exactly sure who this woman was. But if the nurse had given her a pass, then surely she was someone close to him and knew something about his life and business.

"Oh, of course!" the woman finally said and reached out her hand as she connected the dots with a little bit of help from Jack. "Mitch has told me about you. It's nice to meet you."

Jack was relieved and smiled. Thankfully she had made the connection and now he could possibly get some information. "And you are...?" he asked a little shamefully, trying to remember if Mitch had a sister. This woman was around the same age as Mitch, so she was too young to be his mother.

"Oh, Melanie Martel", she introduced herself as they shook hands. "Mitch is a friend of mine. My late husband... was Mitch's cousin." Zach had been the one that had connected them at first, but after getting to know each other, it was like they were siblings too, just like Mitch and Zach had been.

"Zach!" Jack recalled the name. "Right, of course. Now I know. I think Mitch has mentioned you once or twice."

"Oh, he has?" Melanie replied, looking surprised.

"Yes. I think around Christmas, at least", Jack said, feeling a little awkward as he couldn't really recall all the occasions that clearly anymore.

They both began to have an understanding why each of them was here. It was strange that they sort of knew each other but had never met.

"It's unfortunate we have to meet under these circumstances", Jack continued, "but I came here to see how Mitch was doing. They wouldn't tell me anything since I'm not his family member, but I was hoping... maybe you could tell me something?"

"Or better yet... you could come with me?" Melanie suggested. "I'm sure Mitch would like to see you."

Not sure about that, Jack added inside his head, but decided it was better to keep quiet before he knew what Mitch's take was. Maybe he didn't want anything to do with anyone from Heartland, seeing it had been their family member who had attacked him.

"If you think that's okay", Jack checked. "I don't want to force myself into anything."

"Of course", Melanie said and started following the nurse's directions as she began going through a set of doors. "I'm his emergency contact, so I was called. So, how come you are here? Were you there when it all happened or do the news in Hudson really travel that fast?" she asked.

"Well, I..." Jack wondered what he could say. "Not really. We- well, my wife, Lisa called for help. We arrived to the scene only after it had happened."

"Right, makes sense." Melanie nodded as she pressed the button of the elevator. "I guess they wouldn't let you inside the ambulance either."

Jack nodded a little, though none of them had really even tried, seeing Mitch was in capable hands and they had been needed with the aftermath with Amy and Lyndy.

"Do you know if they've caught the guy yet?" Melanie wanted to know when the elevator arrived.

"Not yet - that I know of, that is", Jack said and checked his phone when they were inside the transportation device. There were no calls or messages from anyone, so he figured the police was still looking for Ty.

It wasn't Ty Borden's first time running from the law, so it wasn't exactly a surprise he knew how to run and where to hide, but the thing was he was only making it harder for himself.

"So... what happened? They really didn't tell much over the phone", Melanie continued with her questions as she watched the floor numbers change. "Just that he had been assaulted. I can't imagine the situation... especially in the middle of a day!"

"There must have been some kind of misunderstanding, I'm sure", Jack said, feeling a little guilty for knowing more, but figuring it was up to Mitch to decide how much he wanted to reveal. This whole situation with Ty, Mitch and Amy was still very complicated, and Jack felt he needed to get Mitch's side of the story to understand more.

"Must have been. Mitch is not a violent guy- though it was an assault, so the other person had to attack him", Melanie spoke, trying to make sense of it all. "Still, he wouldn't provoke anyone like that. Maybe he was trying to go between two people or something. He has always been kind of like that, breaking up fights and trying to smooth things over. I could see it happening like that. - Well, we'll hear from him soon."

Jack nodded as they left the elevator. He didn't think Mitch violent either and it seemed like he had not even really fought back.

They finally reached the door, and Mel gently knocked on it, even though it was ajar. Jack and Mel waited and eventually heard Mitch's voice say: "Come in."

Jack followed Mel inside and noticed the injured man who was lying on the bed, wearing a neck support collar. His left eye was almost swollen shut while the right eye's sclera had some type of hemorrhage - which made him look somewhat scary - and there were little bruises all over his face and nose.

It was hard to look at him, especially with the guilt hovering somewhere over Jack's head, but the old man thought coming to see Mitch was the right thing to do. He wanted to make sure the man was alright, even if he would be mad.

"Oh my god..." Melanie gasped and walked closer. "Are you okay? I mean, obviously not, but... what happened?"

Mitch noticed Jack and looked at him, wondering how come they were both here. He brought his eyes back to Mel, feeling a little ashamed.

"I was thinking, that based on the way I feel like I look, you would have kind of figured it out", Mitch said, feeling a little restrained in his support collar. Mel gave him a look, so he explained more. "I was beat up."

"Yeah, of course I can tell that, but why? Why would someone do this to you?" Mel asked, sitting down on the side of his bed, looking worried. This was worse than she had expected. Then again, they wouldn't have called her if it had been just a minor scratch. "What happened to the other guy? Did you fight back? They're not charging you for anything, are they?" she was ready to defend him.

"I didn't have a chance to fight back", Mitch explained, not sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Some part of him felt like maybe he could have spared himself from a beating if he had pushed Ty back, but at the same time he didn't want to get dragged into a fight he had not started. "He just came toward me and - wham! I was surprised, couldn't see anything for a while so I only grabbed what I could get a hold of to keep him back. I didn't know if he was going to kill me or something, because it seemed like he wasn't about to stop."

He was dancing around the answer that Mel probably wanted to know the most - the person who had assaulted him - wondering how he should talk about it with Jack present. Maybe the man was here to make sure he would not press charges against Ty or something, seeing the two of them had always been close. After what Amy had told earlier, Mitch now knew about Ty's past with the law; he had been able to avoid any real charges and maybe here was the reason why. Jack Bartlett.

"Oh my god... I'm so glad you're still alive. This guy sounds crazy", Mel reacted. "Did the police come over already? Did you gave your statement?"

"Yeah, they were just here. And I did", Mitch replied to her questions. If Jack had wanted him to not tell the truth, he was too late. The police already knew his side of the story, well, the part he could really remember, at least.

For Jack it was hard to get a question in, but it felt like he was getting some answers through Melanie too, so he didn't really mind. Besides, this woman was Mitch's emergency contact, he wanted them to have a moment to talk.

"So, do they know who this guy is? Or do you?" she continued with her questions. "You're going to press charges, right?" Mel checked.

"Yeah, I know the guy, told police all I know about him and his... I don't know, possible motives, even though I don't really know if I even know what his motives were, but they asked anyway because obviously this didn't just happen for no reason", Mitch finally admitted, now looking at Jack again to see his reaction. It was like they were communicating through glances. "As for the charges... I don't know... It's complicated."

"What?! What do you mean you don't know about the charges?" Mel was confused. "This guy attacked you, didn't he? What's so complicated about that?"

"He did, but... I need to find some things out first", Mitch explained briefly, knowing it would not go down well with Mel. "Will you excuse us for a minute, Mel? I would like to exchange few words with Jack here."

Mitch felt like he needed to know more before he would make any decisions. Pressing charges probably looked like a no-brainer for an outsider, but seeing some parts of his memory were blurry and this felt personal as it wasn't just some random person from the streets, he wanted to talk to Jack about the whole thing before he would decide anything.

Mel looked over her shoulder toward the old man that had been quiet ever since entering the room and her senses were telling her there was more to this story than she had been let in on. She was curious to know more, but also wanted to respect Mitch's wishes. She would get to the bottom of this one way or another at some point.

"Of course. I'll go to the hallway for a minute", Mel said as she got up. "And I'll be calling a lawyer, by the way." Mitch sighed, wanting to resist, but Mel was not having it. "I know you might not think so right now, but you need to talk to one, hear them out."

She then walked out and started fishing her phone from her handbag.


	75. Chapter 75

When Melanie had left them alone to the hospital room, Jack and Mitch's eyes locked. Both of them had a lot of questions, but no idea what to ask first and how to even go about this. There was obvious tension because both of them wanted to do this respectfully even though there were a lot of emotions involved.

Eventually Mitch began the exchange.

"How's Amy?"

Jack looked surprised, almost like he thought Mitch was asking something completely irrelevant. "Amy? Amy's fine", he said, puffing out air, "it's you I'm more worried about."

"I'm not", Mitch said, even though he felt like crap. "Or should I be?"

"What do you mean...?" Jack asked with caution.

"I don't know. Just wondering why you're here. Is it because you want to tell me more bad news or speak on Ty's behalf", Mitch threw guesses around about the worst case scenarios. "Maybe I'm even going to get accused of something." He loved the guy, but Mitch also knew Jack had a way to moralize people after something bad or big had happened.

"Actually, I am here to see how you're doing", Jack said, walking closer to Mitch's bed. Mitch was still cautious, but somewhat pleasantly surprised. "What did the doctors say?"

"They took some scans and did some tests and are going to come back with the results a little later", Mitch shared. "Until then, I'm staying put."

"Well, you're in good hands. And just so you know, you're not in any kind of trouble. Or... should you be?" Jack offered Mitch a chance to explain everything, if there was something to be explained. "The truth is... I don't know what happened with Ty. I mean, I've heard Amy's side of the story and that version you just shared with Melanie there. So, maybe I'm missing something?"

"Ty's side?" Mitch offered, even though he didn't know what Amy had told Jack. But if she had told the truth, then they were both on the same page. "You're saying I'm not being accused of something, but I still feel like you're after something", he continued, feeling a little tired he was now being questioned by Jack when he had just told everything to the police. "So just ask what you want to ask."

Jack figured he would honor Mitch's wish and cut to the chase. "Is there something going on between you and Amy? Something to make Ty upset like this?"

Mitch sighed. "I'm not surprised you would think that", he admitted, "based on everything I've heard Ty do, but no, there's nothing going on between me and Amy. Unless friendship is a crime."

"It's not", Jack replied, partly pleased with the answer, but it had also not made things clearer for him. "I just needed to be sure. I know that's Amy's stance as well, but I still don't understand all of this. Why would Ty attack you like that?"

"It's not me who you should be asking that", Mitch pointed out again. "I hardly even know the guy, so I can only guess as to what's going on inside his head. All I know is what I've done and my side of things, and there's nothing I regret. My conscience is clean."

Jack nodded. "I appreciate your honesty."

"So they've not caught him yet...?" Mitch asked, still wondering about Amy and Lyndy's safety.

"Not that I know of", Jack replied. "He knows Hudson like the back of his hand after going on field calls for years now, so it doesn't exactly surprise me he knows where to hide", he admitted.

"I hope they catch him soon. For Amy and Lyndy's sake", the younger man said, not feeling too worried about himself. If Ty would come back, he would be prepared to guard himself this time.

"They're fine", Jack repeated. "Ty would never hurt them. Despite everything, Ty still loves them, I'm sure. I have no reason to think otherwise."

"Because I know this type of guy", Mitch said with concern. Most of those men he knew had been through some kind of trauma that had been left untreated. "They can be dangerously explosive. They never think they would hurt anyone they know or love, but when something ticks them off, it's hard for them to control themselves. It's not up to rationality anymore, it's about fight or flight, and usually it comes down to fighting. It's not safe to be around them anymore. They need help. Ty needs help."

Jack didn't really want to comment on anything Mitch had just said, because he realized the man probably did had some experience with this type of thing, especially with his military background. So instead he focused on what he could be sure of. "There's an officer looking after them till Ty's been caught."

"That's good", Mitch said with a sigh of relief.

"So... what are you going to do?" Jack had to ask then. "You said you weren't sure about the charges."

"I know what I want to do", Mitch said, hinting he did actually want to press the charges, "but I also need to know that it won't backfire on Amy and Lyndy."

"It's not up to you to protect them", Jack pointed out.

"I know, but I just don't want any more blood on my hands", Mitch said, still feeling guilty about encouraging Zach to join the forces when it had lead to his cousin's destruction and brought so much sadness to his family. "I've learned I can't just think on my feet as much as I have, I need to really think things through before I make any decisions. My actions might have bigger consequences than I expect them to have."

Jack nodded, wanting to give him some kind of absolution as he didn't want Mitch to punish himself on what had happened, especially if he had not even provoked Ty in any way.

"Well, it's up to you to decide what you want to do. You're the one he attacked, after all. No one's going to hold it against you if you do decide to press the charges. Just remember that." He wanted Mitch to know that, even though he still had this protective instinct when it came to Ty.

"Thanks, Jack", Mitch said, feeling a little better upon hearing that, but he was also still weighting his options. Maybe the best thing to do right now was to talk to that lawyer as they probably had a clearer idea about his options.

"I should get going", Jack figured. He had gotten everything he had wanted and didn't want to bother Mitch any more than he had. "And just so you know, I want you to take your time with your healing. I don't expect you to be back to work by tomorrow or next week. Just let me know when you're ready. Or - if you're ready", he added, understanding maybe there was part in Mitch that questioned if he even wanted to come back after this. Not many people could handle all the Bartlett-Fleming drama that went down on the farm. "Just... Keep me in the loop."

"I will", Mitch promised.

* * *

Pulling the truck door behind him shut, Jack just sat behind his wheel for a while, trying to make sense of his feelings. His head knew that what Ty had done was wrong, but his heart also wanted to understand the young man, for some reason. He recalled all the times Ty had disappointed him, but they were soon followed by his pride whenever he had exceeded his expectations. It was an inner struggle no one else probably understood.

But there were also other things he needed to figure out. Mitch would not be back to work by tomorrow, and maybe Amy wouldn't either, so he and Lisa needed to step up. They could possibly do that for few days, but Lisa also had her other businesses to look after and Jack had to admit he wasn't feeling all that well either.

Which is why they needed back-up.

Jack picked out his phone from his jacket's pocket and checked if anyone had called or texted him, and he had just not heard. There was nothing.

After few swipes, he found Tim's number. The man was still travelling through States with Casey, but Jack knew he had to be informed about everything as well. Not to mention, they would need help with Heartland and the cattle now that they were one man down - or possibly one man and one woman down.

Jack pressed the phone on his ear and waited for Tim to pick up. He didn't know how he would even explain him all this, but it was better to do this sooner rather than later.

 _"Miss me?"_ Tim picked up the phone eventually, and made Jack already sigh.

It had been rather nice without having to deal with the ex-son-in-law on the daily basis, relaxing almost, but Jack also knew it was only a matter of time when Tim would be back to bothering him. The fact that he was the one asking Tim to come home sooner was probably not only going to be a surprise for Tim but for Jack himself as well.

"Hardly", Jack scoffed. "But there is something you should know. Something has happened."

 _"What is it...?"_ Tim's snarky tone was now gone, and he was more concerned.

"It's Ty. He... assaulted Mitch", Jack told it like it was, even though it was hard for him to admit that or even deal with it.

 _"Wait, what? Why?"_ Tim's voice went from surprised to annoyed.

"That's kind of what I'm trying to understand here", Jack admitted. "He's on the run now, police is still trying to catch him. Mitch is in the hospital and... things are a mess. I guess what I'm trying to say is that... we need you here."

It was hard for him to admit that too, because even though Tim annoyed the living crap out of him most of the time, the man also knew the ranch and how things worked, and even if Jack didn't always want to admit it, Tim was a big help for them all.

 _"So what did Mitch do?"_ Tim wanted to know.

"I guess nothing", Jack said. "That's the weirdest thing about this all."

 _"Nothing?"_ Tim echoed. "Then how come Ty attacked him?"

"I guess there was some kind of misunderstanding..." Jack explained the only reasonable conclusion he had come to. "But I'm sure we'll know more once they reach him.- Anyway. Will you be able to come back home? As soon as possible."

 _"Err... I guess",_ Tim said, trying to make a plan simultaneously. It would require some help from Casey and sudden movements. _"How's Amy and Lyndy in all this?"_

"They're fine", Jack said. "No reason to worry about them."

 _"Okay, well, I'll let you know the plan. I'll come home as soon as I can."_

"Thanks, Tim", Jack wanted to say.

 _"Don't mention it",_ Tim replied.

Even though Tim was often self-absorbed, he also took great pride in looking after his family these days, and Jack knew they could rely on that to help them through now.

The old man eventually ended the phone call and stared blankly ahead. He felt a heavy shadow over the family, and his left arm felt almost numb as he was thinking about Ty and all that could possibly follow from this.

It was no news Jack didn't like change, but more than that, he hated drama.


	76. Chapter 76

As she sat on the edge of the tub, Amy could almost feel her throat closing in as she was trying to fight the memories. Thankfully these attacks were no longer as frequent as they had once been, but at the same time, not having to face the anxiety of it all for a while made it almost twice as worse, as if the immunity she had pretended to build for herself was somehow gone.

When she closed her eyes, Amy the first thing she remembered were the colors. Gold. Pearl white. She could recall the faint smell of something sweet in the air. The silence of the hotel room.

The way she had laid out all her make-up brushes in front of her vanity and applied some powder on top of her foundation. She had then quickly brushed some blush on top of her cheeks and looked at herself from the mirror.

It looked natural enough, but also like she had made some effort. She had wanted to show the team she wasn't just some "country bumpkin" in a strange land, she could be a lady, too. Though, by now, she had hoped they would know it already, that she had proved to be the Miracle Girl in their eyes, but it didn't hurt to show it for the last time before they would part ways.

This is how they would remember her, she had hoped. At the top of the world. The sad thing, as it would turn out, would be that they wouldn't.

Of course she had used some make-up before in her every day life, but not this much. The life in Europe had been great, but it didn't come without some pressure, whether it was about her doing her very best with the prince's horses and their team or looking presentable in the events. It was going to be just their team tonight, the avecs and a couple of other guests, celebrating the end of an era and their return to Canada, but Amy still wanted to look like she had made an effort despite the team knowing she wasn't flawless underneath all that make-up since they had seen her around the stable with one layer of mascara in her eyes and some chap-stick on her lips.

Amy's thoughts drifted off to Ty as she put on some pink lipstick. It would not be long before they could embrace again and she could kiss him. Maybe she could leave a trail of kisses all over his face, Amy thought with a smile as she rubbed her lips together to make the lipstick spread evenly.

She wasn't really a lipstick user, per se, and this reminded her of her childhood. When it had been a rainy day, she had spent it indoors with her sister, Lou, brushing dolls' hairs and making them look pretty.

That's how she sometimes still felt - like a doll - because even though some part of her enjoyed this kind of different lifestyle, it just wasn't really her. It wasn't the lush things she had enjoyed here the most after all, but having this team with her, and since it was kind of an unwritten rule that everyone would make themselves look like they were worth million bucks tonight - which in Amy's case was somewhat true, as weird as it was - she decided to follow their example and make herself look like someone who was used to this kind of life even when she wasn't.

One of the last finishing touches she did was putting on a coat of nail polish on top of her nails and it almost made her laugh when she realized she could not remember when was the last time they had looked this nice. No broken nails, no infected cuticles and definitely no dirt anywhere near her hands. Even though she spent a lot of time around the horses, just like she always had, in Europe it had been different than what she was used to; there had been grooms to take care of "the dirty work" and stable staff to muck out the stalls. It wasn't that Amy had felt she was above that all, often she actually enjoyed it and it was what kept her closer to the horses, but here in Europe, it was what Ahmed had insisted, and besides, she was always needed somewhere else to give her opinion about their strategy for the next show or to help a rider with a problem with their horse.

When she was done putting on her earrings, Amy heard a knock on the door. She got up and walked to see who it was. Ahmed had offered her an option to have an assistant who would get her the door and handle these sort of "mundane parts of her life", but Amy had insisted a little more freedom as she didn't want to be completely removed from the normal life despite the circumstances.

After all, she wanted to feel like a person, not an overprotected celebrity. In Ahmed's case it made more sense, seeing he was an actual prince, but Amy saw herself as his trainer, nothing more, and didn't think she needed any more help than what she already had.

Behind the door was one of Ahmed's servants, and Amy smiled at him kindly as he handed her a big bouquet. She didn't remember if she had ever been given such a beautiful arrangement of flowers, so Amy almost chuckled when she accepted them. This was getting ridiculous. Even though she knew she had done a good job, this felt too much. She didn't need flowers to tell her people appreciated her, just a simple "thanks" was always enough.

Amy thanked the servant and walked to the living room where she placed the vase on the table and checked to see what the little card attached to it said.

 _"A little thank you gift to show our appreciation. It's been a pleasure working with you. - Shirilee and the whole team."_

Amy smiled as she read the card. Shirilee was one of the nicest people she had gotten to know while touring the world equestrian games and closest to something to a personal assistant. Even though Shirilee had not done as much as maybe Ahmed had expected her to do, Amy had always felt like she had done enough to help her navigate the busy schedules and etiquette everyone expected her to follow.

While it had been nice to get to see this kind of lifestyle, the closer she got to going home, Amy just couldn't wait to return to Heartland. It was exhausting to keep up with all the expectations seeing as the pressure of doing a good job was enough alone, but the socializing wasn't really something Amy loved doing. She had, of course, made a lot of connections, but all the chit chat about things that didn't really matter was something she could do without. Every day, she had been completely exhausted and she felt like she needed a little break of it all. Going back to Heartland, her family and the normality of her life would be just that.

After Amy was done getting ready, she decided to join the rest of the team. The house was already packed as she glided downstairs and when she saw all the familiar faces, it made her realize how bittersweet this moment was. Even though she missed home, she had experienced something that she would never get to experience again and she swore to herself just to enjoy while it lasted, even if she wasn't in her element in this kind of party.

She greeted everyone she came across with and gave few of them a hug. It wasn't like she was a complete hermit by default, but Amy realized she had developed an understanding of acting as she was expected to represent herself and the team all day, every day, and this was her in her role as "The Head Trainer". She did things she assumed that were expected of her, figuring it would be just easier to play a role than to be the Amy Fleming people back at home probably knew her to be. That person didn't really have anything in common with these people, so it made sense for her to protect herself from all the insecurity she realized was just lurking underneath. Even though she was here, there was someone else inside her head, watching her do everything she did.

Maybe this was who people expected her to be from now on? Was this a natural evolution of herself? Amy had always had a problem with change, so maybe this kind of detachment was part of the process of her having to accept the change within her.

What was the saying? _Fake it till you make it?_ Or maybe in her case, fake it till you're all caught up.

As she turned around, Amy noticed a photographer present and figured this was yet another moment to pose and immortalize the moments that would probably end up on some newspaper somewhere. It wasn't her first time posing for a magazine or a newspaper, but the environment was definitely different than it had been back at home. Even though she figured it would be fun to have these pictures as a memory of this trip, part of her brain was already thinking ahead professionally as well. Having herself attached to these people would really help with her business once she would go back home.

A little while later, when she was talking to one of the team members, Amy heard Ahmed's voice coming from her left. The man was wearing white suit which made him stood out from the crowd but his body language was on another level too; he knew he owned the place and he was the star of the room, and it showed. It wasn't something Amy was really used to, seeing a man so confident, but at the same time to her it was just "typical Ahmed" and she almost shook her head, thinking just how flamboyant he always was. Of course growing up in surroundings like this had made him realize he was more privileged than a lot of other people, but during these past months, Amy had also realized Ahmed was just a human too and even though he had the fame and the money, he didn't always have the way. With her help, Ahmed had been able to gain even more success in the games and was now the top name in the industry, even though everyone had already knew him before all this. But now he really had proved to be worth his status.

After calling her name, Ahmed asked Amy to join him to one of the couches on the side and grabbed them both glasses of champagne, even though for Amy it was more of a prop since she wasn't interested in drinking alcohol. He said he wanted to talk to her about something and thank her for everything she had done for him and the team.

Being alone with Ahmed was a little intimidating to Amy, even though they had become friends these past months. Something about his confidence made her careful. Maybe it was the culture differences, but Amy didn't always know how to handle him when he went off with his wild ideas as she was more grounded compared to him. For him, there were no limits. He was not short on money, he had power and reputation, so everything was possible in his mind and if he wanted something, he would have it. Amy recalled one time she had made a comment about this beautiful bridle one of his horses had been wearing and the next second Ahmed had ordered one of his assistants to go and get her one of those - not just the same one, but a better one, with more expensive diamonds on it.

Amy had, of course, said it had been just a comment she had made and not a request, but Ahmed was not having it. He had said if that was something she had wanted, she should have it. "You've earned it", he had always said. It had been odd to even hear him say that at first, because all she had wanted to do was downplay her achievements, but after a while, she had realized that, yes, she had definitely worked hard for everything she had done here in Europe, whether she got fancy bridles for it or not.

Ever since then, Amy had realized the true essence of Ahmed and had also learned to play him. If he had been insisting too much from the horses, Amy had made a comment about wanting to do something different, and he had followed her lead in order to please her. What could have been countless disasters and damaged horses had turned into something successful with Amy's much more realistic takes.

It was like Ahmed was a big kid, living in this other world where everything was possible. He was quick to anger and he often threw tantrums, so part of Amy's job had become to control his mood swings. Turned out she had been somewhat good at it, and the whole team had been happy for having her around. Even though he had not been "completely tamed" during these past months, Ahmed had began to change his approach; he would almost always take off and come back 5 minutes later, acting like a different man. It was not an easy environment to work in and there were times Amy feared him but had tried not to show it, which was why she often asked someone to accompany them when they were interacting - just in case.

So, even now, with them just talking to each other and having this casual moment, Amy felt better having all these people, her team mates, around them, just in case Ahmed's mood would change again. It wasn't unusual, especially when he was drinking something.

While sitting on the couch, Ahmed had wanted to go down the memory lane, revisit the team's trips to different cities around Europe, and she had been quick to recall all these moments where she had not believed she wasn't dreaming. Ahmed had confessed that despite living the lavish life he had, he had never had these kinds of experiences either; it was like everything old was new again to him too. As they had sat face to face, his child-like excitement over them had been contagious.

Some minutes later, Ahmed had wanted to give her a gift. Amy had sighed and told about Shirilee's flowers and how it had already felt like enough, but Ahmed had insisted. He had wanted Amy to remember this experience forever, so he had figured he would give her something practical, something she could always carry with her as a memory of her achievements. He had opened a small jewelry box in front of her and presented her with a necklace that had stunned Amy with its beauty. She wasn't good with guessing what things costed, but she didn't think Ahmed had just dug the necklace out of a cereal box either.

Ahmed had then made a note about Amy not actually wearing a necklace that night, like it was almost like fate that he was now gifting her one, which was when he had yet again insisted that she would wear it now so he could see how it looked on her. Amy figured it was one thing to fight with him about how his horses should be trained than to have him put the necklace on her now, so she had allowed him to put it on even though it had made her somewhat uncomfortable to have him so close since it wasn't really something she did with just anyone.

 _Just look down, it will be over soon,_ she remembered saying to herself.

Yes... It would all be over soon, she now thought too, sitting in her loft bathroom, shaking like a leaf.

There was something that had happened after that that she had become more familiar with within these last couple of years during a moment of crisis.

Disassociation.

She was somewhere physically, but not mentally or emotionally.

Amy recalled him having hard time connecting the ends of the necklace and there had been a moment where the hair on her neck had gotten in the way, so the moment had lasted longer than she had really wanted. Amy remembered feeling the sting on her neck, not only from the pulling of the hair, but also because something was creeping up on her. Like a sense of something big happening. She couldn't really explain it.

It was hard to remember some parts of that night, but Amy could swear that if she would ever come across with the same scent of aftershave Ahmed had worn that night, she would probably be triggered by these memories again. Or the fresh smell of mint that his breath gave out when he mumbled something and laughed while commenting how difficult this was.

Amy remembered the pressure on her shoulders that eased as Ahmed leaned back. She had been released and relieved and had automatically leaned back and touched her chest to make sure the necklace was on like it should be. Under her hand, Amy could feel her heart racing uncomfortably. Something about Ahmed's gaze locked her in her place. He had said something, but she wasn't really taking in what that was, but in order to avoid looking like a fool, Amy had just nodded repeatedly, as if she was listening.

The next part was something her mind tried its best to forget, even though Amy knew exactly what had happened. She hated that she knew the weight of Ahmed's lips on her when she had never invited them to touch her to begin with.

What she also remembered vividly was the terror taking over her body as she had pushed Ahmed back. "Don't..."

He had looked confused as to why she had looked so mortified. Even though her legs had felt like lid, Amy had somehow found strength in herself to get up and walk away to her room.

While stumbling through the stairs and the hallway, Amy had kept looking over her shoulder, fearing Ahmed would follow her. Her breaths had gotten shorter with every step and when she finally reached her room, she had collapsed on the floor, crying.

She had not only felt violated both mentally but physically as well. Like Ahmed had broke her trust somehow.

Amy couldn't remember how long she had been laying on the floor, sobbing, before she had heard a knock. Her whole body had froze again as her eyes had been locked on the door.

 _Don't breathe, don't breathe, or he'll know you're here,_ Amy had told herself.

"Amy...?" Shirilee's voice had reached her from the other side of the door. "Amy, are you okay?"

Amy wanted to say something, but she was afraid Ahmed was there with Shirilee. She waited, her muscles tense and the hair on her neck back up again.

"Can you let me in...?" Shirilee's voice asked and somehow it sounded empathetic. Amy wanted safety, she wanted someone there to keep her safe, so she had somehow managed to get up and walk to the door. Opening it slightly, she had peaked outside. Shirilee was alone and she had looked concerned.

"Are you okay...?" she asked. Amy had not known what to say, so she had just shook her head. "Can you let me in? It's just me here."

Amy had then opened the door more and let Shirilee in before making sure the lock was keeping everyone else outside.

"I saw what happened..." the other woman had confessed and helped Amy sit down on her couch. Amy had felt dizzy, so she had appreciated the help.

"I didn't want it", Amy finally cried to her, not wanting anyone to think she had somehow cheated on Ty or wanted Ahmed to kiss her. Everyone knew she was engaged to be married and loved Ty above anyone else. "He just... He just did it."

"I know..." Shirilee had said, closing her trembling hands inside hers. It had been at least a relief one person believed her and could back her up. If only Shirilee had picked up the phone when she had tried to reach her so she could explain Ty what had happened after he had seen the video and had wanted to take a break... "But you can't tell anyone."

Amy had looked her in the eyes, feeling her eyelashes sticking together from the combination of the mascara and the salt in her tears. But she had to tell Ty, she had to tell him, because she would want to know if something like this would happen to him with some other girl.

"It's not the first time this has happened", Shirilee shared with her. Amy was shocked. The sickest part of it was that she felt relief - but only for a second - and then disgust because she realized someone else had been through this too. "It didn't end well for her. Amy, I love you and I don't want anything bad happen to you, so we just need this all to go away and act like it never happened. It's what keeps you safe. Please, promise me you won't tell anyone. Promise me."

Amy had stared at Shirilee for a while, in shock, not really knowing what she was saying yes to. Knowing Ahmed's power, she didn't want anything bad to happen to anyone and it was why she had done what she did.

"I promise."

In the present time, Amy's phone rang. It took her a while to realize where the noise was coming from, but eventually she picked it up.

"Hello...?"

 _"Hey, Amy. It's dad. Jack just called me... I just wanted to check up on you",_ Tim's voice said from the other end. It brought Amy to tears. Something about the combination of the memories and the caring in Tim's voice almost made her lose it. _"I want you to know I'm taking the first flight back home. Casey will drive my truck back to Hudson, but I need to be there for you right now, so I'm coming home as soon as I can, okay?"_

"Thanks, dad..." Amy sniffled to the phone, trying not to break down.

 _"It's going to be okay, honey. We'll figure this out",_ Tim assured her. _"I love you."_

"I love you too, dad", Amy said back.


	77. Chapter 77

After the short phone call with Tim, Amy took a deep breath and tried to collect herself as she wiped away the tears under her eyes, got up and went over to the sink to wash her face.

Something about the splash of water comforted her, as if it washed away the emotions she had let out unexpectedly. Whenever something like this happened, whenever her body or mind felt that same terror she had went through before, Amy was left feeling exhausted after the moment had passed. It was hard to find motivation to continue to act as if she wasn't as broken from the inside as she was, but thankfully she had something she had to focus on, something that needed her attention, which is why she had to summon every bit of energy she still had left in her body.

 _Lyndy. She needs me, I need to focus on her. I can't let this drag me down or hold me back,_ Amy decided.

When she went to grab a towel from one of the shelves on the side, Amy noticed something from the corner of her eye. There was a window right by the tub and it overlooked the back field where horses usually grazed during summer. The placement of the window was ideal for taking a peek sometimes while showering or using the bathroom, but this time the reaction of her seeing a horse was different.

In the middle of the field stood a horse she had always called Ghost. The stallion was staring the barn and stomped the snow underneath its leg, as if it was about to charge.

Amy pursed her lips together as she knew that having Ghost around always seemed like a bad omen or had something to do with Ty. There was still no word of the police catching him, but seeing Ghost made Amy fear that he was somewhere near, lurking and waiting an opportunity to come back.

 _Lyndy,_ Amy repeated in order to snap out of it. _I need to go to Lyndy._

When Amy returned to her daughter and Lisa, the older woman looked at her with concern.

"Everything okay...?" Lisa asked carefully as she couldn't help but notice that on top of Amy disappearing to the bathroom for a long time, she also had red eyes and her face looked a little bloated. Lisa was certain Amy had been crying and had not wanted to show that to Lyndy, which of course was understandable.

"Yeah, I... I'm just tired", Amy said, taking Lyndy into her lap so she could hold her. Thankfully the girl didn't resist even though she was in the middle of playing. Amy kissed the top of her blonde curls and took in her scent - it always calmed her down.

"Well, you could always take a nap", Lisa suggested, glancing over the couch and looking toward the curtains that hid Amy's bed, "I can watch Lyndy. It's not a problem."

"It's fine", Amy said. She didn't feel like sleeping even though she was tired. Her mind was too busy to rest. "But thanks. I do appreciate everything you've done for us, Lisa."

"It's no problem", Lisa replied with a smile. "Family has each other's backs, right?"

Not soon after they heard the door open and heard steps. Both of them looked toward the staircase and were relieved to see Jack's worn-out white cowboy hat. The man looked confused when both women sighed and allowed themselves to relax.

"Everything okay 'round here?" Jack checked. He had talk to the police officer briefly and according to them, everything seemed to be under control. But maybe they didn't know if something had happened in the loft.

"We're fine", Lisa answered. "How was Mitch?" she wanted to know.

Jack closed the baby gate behind him and sighed. The last couple of hours felt like a week. Driving around and trying to make sense of this all had left Jack weary.

"As well as you can expect", Jack shared, walking slowly toward them. "He looked pretty rough and was waiting for results from a scan, but I think he's going to be okay. He had a relative there to help him with everything; it's a relief to know he's not going to be alone. I let him know that he should take time off as much as he wants to and let himself heal. And... I also called Tim; he promised to come home as soon as possible so we can keep everything rolling."

"I know, he called me", Amy said.

"He did?" Jack asked. Amy nodded. "Well, I'll try to pitch in as much as I can and I'm sure Lisa will be glad to help you too", he continued, checking Lisa's response and when he got a nod, he continued, "so you can take a little time off as well until Tim gets here."

"I can't", Amy shook her head. "Lyndy and Bruni need me. Besides, sitting and doing nothing will only make me crazy."

"Suit yourself", Jack said, knowing the feeling. He wasn't very good at doing nothing either, especially under the circumstances. "I guess there hasn't been any word of Ty yet...?"

Amy shook hear head again and sighed. She just wished the police would get him so there would be one less thing to worry about.

"I went to see Caleb as well", Jack shared with them with a serious and disappointed tone. "I wanted to see what he had to say for himself. He was just as surprised as anyone of us about the way things had escalated."

"So... how come Ty had Caleb's truck?" Lisa was still trying to make sense of everything. "I thought Caleb was supposed to drive Ty around, as usual."

"That was the plan, but Ty... well, he "borrowed" the truck", Jack explained and took his hat off and placed it on his lap when he sat down on the leathery arm chair. "Apparently they had been in a bar, talking about the situation with him and Amy. Caleb had been disappointed in Ty, so he decided to plant this idea of Amy and Lyndy being worth fighting for", he continued, repeating Caleb's words. "He never expected that this would how things would go."

Amy scoffed. "Caleb thought things would be solved by making Ty think I'm dating Mitch? Wow, he really is more stupid than I thought. Caleb, of all people, should know Ty by now and how he reacts to situations were he thinks someone needs saving..."

"I'm not saying he went about it the right way", Jack tried to soften Amy's reaction, "but I can see why it would make sense for Caleb. You know how he's like; he's a romantic", the man continued, widening his eyes as Jack knew that that trait usually made Caleb do stupid things for the ones he loved.

Amy glared at Jack. "Romantic...?" she repeated. Amy knew Caleb appreciated candles and flowers, but none of that was being talked here. "I'm sorry, but what part of this is supposed to be romantic?"

"I guess the part where Ty is fighting for his family", Jack shrugged. "Caleb only wanted best for you, I'm sure. He was mad at the way Ty had been behaving, after all."

Amy's head went from left to right and back left. "Wow..." She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "And I guess I should be thankful right now, then? Or flattered? That Ty and Caleb thought I should be won over with violence and the possible "competition" should be eliminated in order to gain my respect and eternal love", Amy continued with a mocking tone. "Boys will be boys, eh?"

"That's not what I meant..." Jack tried to argue. "I'm just trying to make you understand why they did what they did."

"Why is that?" Amy wanted to know. "Why do I need to understand them? I understand enough and the rest - I don't want to hear it. When's the time for someone to understand me? Someone to listen to me? Or do I not matter?"

Lisa looked at Amy sympathetically. It was obvious she was under a lot of stress.

"Why is it that you're willing to use more time trying to understand Ty than you are willing to hear what I have to say?" Amy asked. "Or understand what I'm going through."

"I'm listening", Jack insisted.

"Are you? Do you even hear what I'm saying? Or do you know how I'm feeling?" she wanted to know. "Back in downstairs, you questioned me about what I had said to the police. It's like you don't believe I'm telling the truth unless it fits into your narrative or unless it releases Ty from any responsibility. You're willing to blame me over him. Why do you choose him over me?"

"I'm not sure I understand what you're even saying..." Jack confessed. He was trying to understand Amy's point of view, but he never recalled dismissing her over anything.

"Maybe because you never see how differently you've treated us over the years and how easily it comes to you, choosing his comfortability over mine", Amy offered. "Ty might be like a son to you, but I'm your granddaughter. What I don't understand is why am I ranked below him? And I'm not just talking about what happened here today, I'm talking overall. You treat him like he has more value. Imagine me doing any of the stuff he has done over the years, I doubt you would have been as understanding with me as you've been with him."

"That's not true", Jack denied the accusations, not recognizing this kind of favoritism. "Of course I care about you too, Amy."

"Okay, so let's say you have a chance to talk to Ty about what happened here today; would you try to explain to him how I'm feeling like you try to explain to me how he must have been feeling?" Amy wanted to know. "Or is it just me that always has to be understanding and listen?"

Jack fiddled his hat, not knowing what to say. He had to admit that if he had had a chance to talk to Ty now, he wouldn't have probably really talked about Amy at all, but would have been more focused on Ty's motivations.

The silence told Amy everything she needed to know. She handed Lyndy back to Lisa. "Can you look after her for a while? I need to go feed Bruni and I can't take her there because of the quarantine."

"Of course; like I said - whatever you need", Lisa responded, feeling a little in between Jack and Amy here, so she was happy to be focusing on Lyndy.

Amy stood up and left the loft. She needed to look after Bruni, despite the circumstances, but she also really needed a breather. The good thing about Bruni's quarantine was that no one could enter the hut without compromising the horse's safety which meant that Amy would get to be alone.


	78. Chapter 78

Jack stood in front of the sink, holding a glass of water, and watched outside through the window above it. It was already past midnight, and he had gone to bed hours ago, but he just couldn't get any rest; his mind was too busy after a day like this.

The police car was still in front of the barn, and Jack could see dim lights coming through the loft windows, but nothing outside moved except for few snowflakes that danced under the artificial halogen light in the middle of the yard.

Jack then heard draggy steps coming from the bedroom and glanced over his shoulder to see who it was even though he knew there was no one else in the house but Lisa.

"Can't sleep...?" the woman's soft voice asked as she wrapped a cashmere cardigan over her night clothes.

"Something like that..." Jack replied, pouring the water out since he wasn't feeling particularly thirsty either, it had just been an instinct to grab a glass from the rack and fill it with water so he would have some reason to come here and look outside while he would hopefully make some sense of his thoughts.

"You know... I think you should really go see that doctor", Lisa worried, knowing already it would annoy Jack to hear that, but she just couldn't stand back and watch as her husband got more tired as time went on and did nothing about it.

"It's not that", Jack said, dodging Lisa's suggestion, "it's Amy. And Ty."

"Well... it's been a day", Lisa admitted as she agreed and sighed, wrapping her arms around his torso from behind. Jack gently touched her arms, appreciating her support, and she leaned her cheek against his back. "What about them...?"

"I keep thinking what Amy said", Jack revealed. "About my relationship with Ty. And her. And I think she might be onto something. I guess I just haven't seen it before..." He hesitated for a while, but then continued. "Have I ever told you how Lyndy and I had trouble getting children?"

"I think you've mentioned it", Lisa replied, wondering what it had to do with this. It wasn't something Jack really talked about, in fact Lisa wasn't even sure if anyone else knew about it, because it seemed one of those family secrets that were never mentioned as it seemed too painful or embarrassing to the ones involved.

"Well, we got Marion, which I was happy about, of course, but... I can't deny I always wanted a son too, even though I would have never admitted that to anyone because having Marion was already a blessing enough and I couldn't dare to ask more because I didn't want to seem ungrateful", Jack explained. "Back then things were a little different, as you know. There wasn't as much information or knowledge about infertility as there is now, so we didn't really ever know what was the reason for our problem, but I always carried a little blame over that. Like I wasn't man enough... or something. - Then when Marion met Tim... well, I wasn't happy about that at first, but when they had Lou and eventually Amy, I kind of came in terms with the fact that they were going to take over the ranch once I was ready to pass it down to them, even though I never liked the idea of Tim running it his way. But that never happened, because when things started to get rough, I kicked Tim out since it was the only way anything would start get better again, but then later Marion... well..."

He sighed.

Lisa lifted her head and listened. She could sense Jack's emotions even though she couldn't read his face from behind.

"But I guess I never really got over that thought... Having a son. I clung onto it more and more as time went on. I wanted to give Tim a try, because he seemed like my only hope, but then he disappointed me in ways I couldn't have predicted. Years later Peter came into Lou's life when she was old enough to date and marry, but it never seemed like this ranch life was for them. But Ty and Amy... I could picture it." Jack smiled a little bit. "Everything I had wanted for this place. I could see it being a good continuum for what Marion had planned and started. Her being a horse whisperer, him being a vet. I guess it almost felt like a relief, in so many ways; Heartland would continue to be a place for my family for years to come and now I had a new chance with the whole having a son thing", he went further. "Of course Ty disappointed me at times, just like Tim - every son does - but overall, I was ready to forgive a lot for him, because he was my last hope and I could see all this potential in him."

Lisa walked over on the other side and leaned on the counter.

"I get what you're saying, but I also can't help but see it from another point of view too", Lisa said, hoping to offer some food for thought for Jack. "Our backgrounds might be a little different, but I come from a family that had expectations for me too. I don't think the whole me being a girl thing was ever an issue with my parents, but I don't think it's an issue with you either. And if you remember to respect Amy, I don't think it'll be a problem for her either. I know you love Ty, but in the end, he has nothing to do with the ranch. Like Tim didn't have anything to do with Marion and Heartland. Tim and Ty became part of it, yes, but there's always been that core, that heart, in Marion and Amy, that's all this place needs. If Marion had not died, I could have seen this ranch still being in the family for years to come, Tim or no Tim. And I think it still will be, with or without Ty. So, Heartland will be fine", she hoped to ease Jack's expectations. "I think what you need to focus on is your projections for Ty. Just because you couldn't get a son, you never failed. And just because you couldn't help Ty the way you thought you should have, doesn't mean it was all on you to begin with. You tried, I know you did. Ty has chosen his path, so don't take it so personally that it wasn't the one you had in mind for him. Don't make his redemption your agenda. You can't make him do what he doesn't want to do or make him be who he doesn't want to be."

Jack looked down, feeling some relief due to Lisa's words. The woman on the other hand looked toward the window, remembering something.

"I recall this one time when I stood here, watching you look outside as you wondered whether Ty would come back or not with his motorcycle", Lisa said, feeling a little bit like that again. "Ty and Amy are adults. Maybe you have a hard time accepting that, but it's just a fact. They don't need you to deal with their problems or solve their arguments, they can deal with them on their own. As for our part... well, we can only help with some things; you know, like babysitting Lyndy or looking after the horses. Their relationship with each other is their business, but you need to figure out what your relationship is with each of them", Lisa continued.

The man nodded, knowing Lisa made sense. He knew what the right thing to do was, now he only had to do it. It was going to require a lot from a man who hated changes, but for Amy's - and his own - sake he was willing to do it.

"I'm going back to bed", Lisa announced then. "I hope to see you there soon."

Jack gave her a kiss on the cheek before she went back to the bedroom, but decided to stay up for a while to make sense of these new thoughts instead. He was only going to be tossing and turning in the bed anyway; Lisa deserved a good night's sleep.

Jack knew he was angry at Ty for a lot of things, disappointed too, and he also knew there was a part of him that wanted to understand him. It wasn't that he didn't love Amy - he did and those things weren't mutually exclusive in his head - but he had never really been that worried over her. She was strong, always had been, and she had a good moral compass.

Maybe that was the problem. Maybe Amy could have used a little more help and support, even if she was strong on her own too. But maybe that would have still made a big difference for her to see that he stood behind her 100%.

When Jack was ready to go and join Lisa, his phone on the kitchen table rang. It was an odd hour for phone calls, but maybe for that exact reason Jack decided to walk back and have a look at who it was.

Saying he was surprised would have been an understatement when he saw Ty's name on the screen. Jack automatically glanced outside, wondering if maybe he was there and knew he was awake, but there was only one way to find out.

"Hello...?" Jack answered the phone.

 _"Jack..."_ Ty's trembling voice said from the other end. _"I messed up..."_

It was strange to hear his voice, especially with this whole mess hovering above their heads, and Jack couldn't deny it did bring out his protective side, but at the same time he knew he had to toughen up, for Ty and Amy's sake.

"Yes, yes, you did", Jack said, figuring they were both talking about the same thing, and since even Ty knew what he had done was wrong, there was no use denying it. "Where are you...?" he wanted to know.

 _"Can you help me...?"_ Ty asked, playing time so he could make sure Jack was on his side. _"I need to get away. There's no more gas in the truck, and I'm stuck."_

"Just tell me where you are, and I will help you", Jack promised, walking toward the mudroom to get dressed in his winter clothes.

 _"I'm at the Hanley place",_ Ty admitted. _"Please, hurry. It's freezing cold."_

"I'm coming, just stay put", Jack ordered.

* * *

It had been a while since Jack had visited the Hanley place, but there was no use visiting there anyway since the house had burned down years ago and only an old barn stood on the side of the yard. No one lived there, so naturally it offered a perfect hide-away for Ty - and he had known that.

It wasn't the first time Jack had bailed Ty out or come to pick him up when trouble had found him - or he had found it - so it made sense that the young man would eventually call him for help, seeing Jack had always been on his side and ready to help despite being disappointed.

Jack's truck pushed through the icy yard, and when the man parked his vehicle in front of the barn, he could see Ty shivering as he walked out from the building and toward his Chevy with his backpack. Jack knew it was important to keep his cool because he didn't want this to backfire.

Ty climbed in, hanging his head and covering his face with his hair, and kept his fingers curled up in a tight fist as he had no gloves. Jack glanced at him when the ceiling light came on and saw his bloody knuckles (that he had probably tried to wipe clean with some snow) when he put the backpack on the floor, between his legs. The young man was pale and his lips were almost blue, and Jack could tell Ty had really had no choice but to call for help at this point or he could have froze to death. Alberta winters were no joke.

"I'm taking you to the airport", Jack let him know and started driving as Ty buckled his seat-belt.

"Thanks, Jack..." was the first thing Ty said after getting inside.

"So..." Jack started talking, trying to keep his feelings at bay, "what was the whole thing at Heartland about?" he had to ask, even though he couldn't really see any justification for it at this point.

"I don't know, I just... I lost it", Ty said. Jack felt like he had heard this all before, but on some level he knew he needed to hear these things in order to realize how he was going to feel about Ty from now on; no more protecting him, he was on his own. Nothing would change if he wouldn't change it. "I've been under a lot stress, and hearing what I did... I don't know. Something came over me."

"I see..." Jack murmured, nodding a little as he drove on. "And you thought this would solve it all?" He waited for Ty to answer, but he didn't say anything. "So... did it?"

Ty sighed, looking outside the window and feeling like a teenager again. "No..."

"So you weren't thinking things through. You just followed your gut", Jack drew his conclusion. "Will that ever change? Or do I have to pick you up from a jail - again?"

"I've tried to change, I really have", Ty replied. "But things are just spinning out of my control and it's... really hard to change when that happens."

Jack hummed a little.

"You know, earlier I was thinking that time I took you to that crossroads and told you either to get lost or figure things out", Jack shared. "I remember thinking things could go either way, but at the same time I had to be prepared for either one of those outcomes. Now, I can't lie that I was hoping you would come back to Heartland with a little more modesty and respect, but at the same time I feel like I would have understood if you hadn't. You've always had that thing with wanting to do things at your way, after all."

Ty listened. Doing things his way was how he had survived. He wasn't about to give that up now.

"Well, as you know, you did came back. But what for?" Jack asked.

Ty looked outside. He had known he wouldn't get out of this without getting a little lecture from Jack, so that was expected, in fact that had been part of the reason why he had put off calling him for this long. Other reason had been his pride and the fact that he was scared what would happen now.

It was like Caleb had said; he had so much to lose and he could see it now with more clarity than ever. And the weirdest thing was, he had been here before with Jesse, but somehow that had not made him any wiser. With that assault, he had not gotten any jail time, but Ty wasn't sure he would get that lucky twice.

He never did.

"I don't know... I guess back then I thought Hudson was the only place I could really have a chance for a good life", Ty admitted. "Family... steady job... purpose."

Jack listened. "And what do those things mean to you now? Family, steady job and purpose? Are they here at Hudson?"

When Ty took his time, Jack knew it wasn't because he didn't know, but because he knew and was just too scared to admit it. Ty's actions had already proved what he wanted.

"There's no shame in wanting things", Jack continued when he didn't get anything from Ty. "It's perfectly fine to want things from life, things that others might not agree with. I remember being young and thinking rodeo was all I wanted from life, sometimes even more than other things like a relationship or a kid, and even after all these years, I still do feel a little ashamed admitting that - but it was the truth at the time. It felt good to be good at something, and even better when it was something you discovered for yourself. When you come across that, there's no compromising. It's the last thing you want to do. And I see it in you now. - Rodeo... that's what made me feel alive, nothing compared to the feeling of adrenaline running in my veins and winning those buckles. The audience roaring, the challenge, the rush... Rodeo cowboy wasn't a role that was assigned to me by my father, which was even better. I felt like I was invincible, like I could do anything", he wanted to make this more personal, if only to make Ty open up. "But the glory of it all fades, just like those buckles, and I was lucky to have someone still loving me after all that, despite not treating them as well as they would have deserved. I know now that Lyndy deserved better than what I gave her. Just like Amy deserves better than this type of behaviour from you. Or your daughter."

Ty stayed silent and just stared out. Jack didn't know if he was really listening, but maybe it didn't really matter. It was time to get these things out of his own chest.

"There might not be shame in wanting things, but there's shame in not being honest with yourself", Jack shared what he had learned. "And for me it was admitting that I was doing things for the wrong reasons. I don't know what your reasons are, and I don't claim to know them, but just remember to be honest with yourself. It might not be pretty - oftentimes it isn't - but you owe it to the people you love or who love you. Wanting things doesn't lead us into trouble, it's the part where you lie to yourself or others that does. Lying to people, leaving them behind or in the dark... that's what creates broken people more than having your own dreams. That's what I've learned."

Jack turned his truck to the main road leading up to Calgary and soon they saw red and blue flashing lights in front of them as a police car was parked in the middle of the road. Ty looked around as he felt his heart sunk and then to Jack who seemed like he wasn't surprised by this turn of events. It dawned on Ty, the old man had known what would wait for them around the corner.

"What happens next is up to you", Jack said calmly. "But let me tell you one thing, a thing I told you long time ago, but this time I _really_ want you to comply or there will be trouble. Here's the deal with Amy and Lyndy... you keep ten feet away at all times. Any part of you that crosses that line will be removed."

Ty looked at Jack with disbelief, but he saw no remorse in his eyes, only determination. They could then see the silhouettes of the two police officers walking from their car toward the truck, lit up by their headlights and touching their belts in case Ty would not come with them easily.

"I think it's time for you to finally stop running. For your own sake", Jack added.

As the officers reached the truck, one of them ordered Ty to open the door and walk out with his hands where they could see them.

Time dragged on as Ty thought about his move. Eventually, he opened the door and walked out, feeling defeated. There was no use of running now.

Ty stared at Jack when the other officer started to read him the rights.

"You're under arrest for the assault of Mitch Cutty. It's my duty to inform you you're not obliged to say anything. Turn around. Hands behind your back", he was ordered. "Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?"

"Yes..." Ty said with a toneless voice as he was being handcuffed.

Jack sat in the truck, feeling a little remorse seeing Ty so miserable. But in his heart he knew this had to be done. What happened next was out of his hands and if the justice was served, Ty would get what he had had coming and that had always been his decision - and his decision only.

Not Amy's. Not his. But Ty's.


	79. Chapter 79

Amy woke up to Lyndy tossing and turning under her arm restlessly while calling her "mommy". The little girl was done sleeping, so she had figured her mom would not need any more sleep either. After the day they had had yesterday, Amy had decided to take Lyndy to the bed with her instead of putting her in her own bed, not only because she was still scared Ty would take her away like he did in her nightmares but also to give herself some ease and comfort.

Now they were both sweaty from sleeping so closely together, so Amy slowly removed the cover on top of them and let some cooler air level their temperature. She then blinked lazily, letting her eyes rest on her daughter's beautiful face and looked at Lyndy like she would never get tired of looking at her.

"Hey, Lyndy..." she whispered and kissed the girl's cheek before she stretched her spine a little. "Good morning..." she spoke to her even though the girl wasn't really that talkative yet - or at least she didn't really take part in conversations.

"Mommy wake up", the girl insisted which made Amy smile. Or maybe it was more like her way of saying she had accomplished her mission. Either way, it was adorable.

"I'm awake, honey", she said and then sat up, stretching a little more. The girl got up as well and started climbing down from the bed, as if she had somewhere to be. "Careful!" Amy worried and moved closer to help her get down.

The girl then ran to her toys and sat down to continue her play from the night before as if she had not even slept at all. Amy smiled with a relief, realizing that thankfully Lyndy had no idea what was going around her; she didn't know that they were caught in this eye of the storm, she was just happy to be able to play with her toys.

As Lyndy was focused on getting all the farm animals in a row, Amy walked across the loft to take a peek through the curtains to see if the police car was still there, just to ease the anxiety she now constantly lived with. Her heart skipped a beat when she didn't see anyone and even though she looked through every window on the loft, there was no police officer around.

Panic started take over Amy. Had they been sleeping without knowing there was no one to guard them? What if Ty had come back? Why had the police just taken off like that? They had promised to protect them!

After putting on a cardigan and slippers, Amy grabbed Lyndy into her arms with a toy to keep her occupied as they went downstairs. She didn't have to go far from the bottom of the stairs when she saw Grandpa and Lisa feeding the horses. They had promised to help her with them and thankfully they had not been kidding.

"There- There isn't a police car outside", Amy said and it sounded almost like a question. Grandpa and Lisa had come from the ranch house, so surely they had made the same observation or had more information about where the security was. Maybe the officers were changing shifts and the new one had not arrived yet but was on their way.

Jack looked at her pale face and then outside, nodding. "There's no need for that anymore."

"What do you mean...?" Amy asked, walking closer. "Does that mean they've... caught him?" she guessed, feeling her heart beat faster. What other reason was there?

Jack nodded. "Last night. I thought I'd let you sleep in before I'd tell you."

Amy blinked and tried to make sense of what she was feeling. So many thoughts and emotions were going through her head right now. Mostly she just felt relief, knowing she no longer had to look over her shoulder or walk on eggshells, but at the same time she knew another type of storm was still coming that required her to be strong and deal with things she just wanted to leave behind.

"What happened...?" Amy wanted to know. Did the police eventually find him or had he turned himself in, knowing getting caught was going to be inevitable for the situation to be resolved?

Lisa walked closer and gave Jack a meaningful look. "You should tell her."

"Tell me what?" Amy wondered, taking turns looking at them.

"He called me", Jack finally shared. "In the middle of the night. He was hiding at the Hanley place with no gas and barely any shelter. So he needed help and asked me to come and pick him up."

Amy felt her heart froze. Of course Ty would do that. He had always done that, asked Jack to come and rescue him from the violence of some men who were "old friends of his dad" or bailing him out of jail when he had been caught for assaulting Jesse Stanton.

The sting of bitterness made Amy's chest feel warm as this further proved that Ty thought Jack was always going to be there for him, no matter how major his screw-up was, just like she had said last night before going to check on Bruni.

"Oh... So... did you...?" she asked hesitantly.

"I did", Jack admitted. Amy almost sighed loudly, before Jack continued. "We had a bit of a talk - or I was talking mostly. The thing is... police was going to get him eventually, it was only a matter of time, and every minute he spent out there running, the bigger his problems were getting. So... I had called the police before I left from Heartland and told them I would hand him over to them at this specific spot. Meanwhile Ty thought I would help him to get to the airport; not that he would have gotten anywhere from there, the police would have caught him there as well, seeing he was wanted by them and the word had got out. So, now he is in the custody of the police, where he should be according to the law, and what happens next it's up to the ones who make these kind of decisions to protect the public. They are the people who should have been the ones making these decisions all along. I can only judge his character as a layman, but there are other kind of judges waiting for him now."

Amy was almost speechless. Grandpa had known exactly what to do and how to do it to make sure he would help the police to take Ty out of the streets. The one thing they had had common with Ty - the bond - had been the tool he had used to make sure Ty would face the consequences of his actions, even if it meant betraying Ty's trust. It almost sounded surreal after everything.

"I did it for you and Lyndy", Jack said, almost like reading her mind. "And of course because it was the right thing to do. If Mitch said Ty assaulted him, then I'm going to take his word for it. Victims should be listened, no matter who has hurt them. If there has been some kind of misunderstanding, Ty and his attorney will prove the claim wrong and justice will be served, one way or another. We have to trust the system. - But it's out of my hands. It's out of all our hands at this point."

Lisa put her hand on Jack's back, caressing it gently. She knew this had not been an easy thing to do, but like Jack said, it had been the right thing to do. Sometimes right things were the hardest to do.

"Thank you, Grandpa", Amy said when she didn't know what else to say. Gratitude was taking her over now. She knew it was selfish, but it meant so much to her that Jack had chosen the safety of her and Lyndy over Ty's comfortability.

She walked closer with Lyndy and hugged her grandfather, feeling like she was finally gaining her family back somehow. That she was more visible to them.

Jack wrapped his arm around Amy and Lyndy, almost having a flashback to the moment when Marion had hugged him for helping her to kick Tim out of the house. It had finally dawned on him last night; if he had done what he had done back then for Marion, why would he do any less for Amy?

After Mitch's assault, Jack had walked upstairs to look after Lyndy, and in her eyes he had seen Amy. Even though Amy had been around five when Tim had been banished from the family's life, she had still had the same innocence Lyndy had now. Jack had known, looking both Amy and Lou at the time, they deserved better than what they had. Even though it had not been easy to throw Tim out, despite him causing so many problems for everyone and Jack having such complex feelings toward him overall, that too had been the right thing to do. Pouring out the alcohol from Tim's bottles he had found behind things as the younger man had tried to hide them from everyone and checking the doses of the pills he had been popping constantly had not been enough. Tim had needed a wake-up call, and with them enabling his behavior things could have ended up worse. Jack's only regret was that he wished he had done it sooner.

Yes, Lou had hated him for a long time and in a way had probably never forgiven her, but at the same time Jack had trusted she had been better for not having a father like Tim to mess her life too. Maybe Tim had not meant harm to the family by numbing himself, but he had still caused it by abusing alcohol and drugs. Of course the thing with Ty was not the exact same - in a way it had snuck up on them because it was not as easy to spot as a drunken man causing problems - but it still seemed like he needed a wake-up call of his own. The family couldn't just enable his illegal and violent behavior anymore, it needed to stop and it was for everyone's best interest, just like Tim's sobriety had been. And if it took him facing the consequences in front a judge for him to get what he was doing to his family, then so be it.

Jack knew there would be a chance Lyndy might end up hating him as she became more aware of what had happened with her dad, but that was the risk he was willing to take in order to protect her. Maybe Ty would never cause any direct harm to Lyndy - Jack still felt Ty loved her - but all the indirect harm was just as bad and just as irreversible.

Now... they just waited what would happen next.


	80. Chapter 80

Days passed and with the help of Jack, Lisa and now Tim, Amy could focus on Lyndy and Bruni as much as she needed and when she could, she helped out with the other horses as well. It almost seemed like nothing had really changed, because technically everything went on as it had days before, but there was still strange tension in the air as everyone waited for the other shoe to drop.

Which it did on the day Lily Borden and Wade Dalton drove through the gates of Heartland.

It took Amy a while to recognize Wade's truck as it had been years since she had last seen it last. The association to Ty made her skin crawl immediately and she could feel her heart racing fast as she stopped Trouble in the pen where she had been lunging the horse.

Was it really Wade? Or Ty who had been bailed out of prison and was now using Wade's truck to drive around? If it was Wade, what was he even doing here?

As she watched the truck being parked, Amy realized whoever was driving was not alone.

Instead of Ty, Wade was accompanied by Lily, Ty's mom. In a way Amy was relieved, even though she still wasn't Wade's biggest fan, but she would rather deal with them than Ty right now. Even though Amy was still cautious around Wade, she had become fairly close with Lily, especially after her last visit that had been almost a year ago when Ty's mom had helped him and her with Lyndy when they had - as new parents - still tried to figure out the girl's schedule.

Amy left Trouble in the pen and came out herself to see if she could somehow help these visitors. She didn't think they were just passing by, especially under the circumstances.

"Grandpa... Dad..." she hollered to the men who were in the barn, hoping to get some back-up in case things got out of hand. Amy knew she was a little bit paranoid, but after everything, she figured it was justified. Jack and Tim soon came out the building to stand next to her and welcome the guests. Based on the look on their faces, they were just as surprised to see Ty's family as she was.

"Hey, Amy! Jack, Tim!" Lily said cheerfully as she came closer. The woman reached Amy and gave her a hug. Amy felt a little awkward, but hugged her back to some extent, then wondering if Lily was even aware of what was going on with Ty.

If Ty had left her in the dark, who was to say he hadn't done the same with his mother?

"It's good to see you, Lily. Have to admit... I'm a little surprised to see you in Alberta. What brings you two here?" Jack asked as Ty's mother leaned back from the hug.

"We came to pick up Ty's truck and motorcycle", Wade answered for her as she walked from behind Lily, putting gloves on. "Any idea where we could find them?" He seemed like he wasn't planning on staying for long but would rather just get it over with.

"Did Ty sent you...?" Tim asked suspiciously. He knew the guy in front of him had a reputation, so even if Ty wasn't his favourite person right now, Tim still wanted to make sure everything was done with Ty's permission or they could get in trouble - and that was the last thing anyone wanted right now. Ty's truck and bike were both classics, so Wade could easily make some money from them if he wanted to.

Wade scoffed, even though it was barely audible.

"He did. Wanna call him to make sure, pops?" he replied, looking a little annoyed with the vote of no confidence but then again not being that surprised as most people treated him the same way even though he had tried to prove them he had changed his ways.

Wade calling him "pops" made Tim's mouth tighter. He recalled Ty once calling him by the same name when he had asked him not to call him "dad". Tim could tell Wade was just trying to push his buttons, but he wasn't falling for it. Just like Amy's paranoia seemed justified to her, Tim's suspicion seemed justified for him.

"Ty knows about this. In fact, he asked us to come", Lily assured everyone, sensing a tension between the men, and feeling like maybe she was more trustworthy to them than Wade seeing she had spent more time around the family. "I hope that's alright."

"Well, in that case, I suppose it is", Jack replied, giving them a nod, even though the visit still seemed a bit awkward. He didn't know how the relatives were supposed to act around each other in a situation like this. But at the same time it was better that it was Lily and Wade who were here to pick up Ty's things. Jack figured maybe Ty had finally believed him when he had asked him to keep his distance.

"Could you show me to them?" Wade asked then when it seemed like both Jack and Tim were pleased with Lily's reply.

"This way", Jack said, directing Wade to follow him, and with a long glance asked Tim to join them. He could use a hand - and back-up. Amy would be fine with Lily.

The men started walking toward the garage while Lily and Amy were left to socialize. It made Amy nervous. What was she supposed to say? How was she supposed to act? Was small talk even an option?

"So... where's my lovely granddaughter?" Lily gushed. It helped ease the tension a little bit as it seemed like she was just here to pay a visit like she had before.

"She's inside with the babysitter", Amy let her know and pointed toward the loft. "She's already very mobile; that baby gate you helped us get has really been helpful", she added with a shy smile, wanting Lily to know she appreciated her help with everything.

"Can I see her?" Lily asked impatiently. "She must've grown so much - and it's only been couple of months since I last saw her!" she added, making a nod to the time Ty had had Lyndy with him in Vancouver during New Years.

"Yeah, just..." Amy replied, but figured they had to make some things clear before that, "I gotta ask... Are you aware what's going on with Ty...? I know that might be a stupid question, but I just have to ask."

Lily's featured stiffened as her attention was drawn from Lyndy to her son.

"I am", she nodded, "unfortunately. He called me, asked for help, so of course Wade and I came as soon as we could. I'm not saying I approve what he did - or what's been claimed he did - but I'm his mother and... well, as you must understand, there's nothing you wouldn't do for your child when they are in trouble."

Amy nodded. "I get that - and I'm not mad at you for staying by his side. It's... complicated, that's what I've come to understand these past few months." It seemed like Lily wasn't here to point fingers, so that made Amy feel a little bit better. In a way, Amy figured Lily had an understanding about these sort of situations maybe more than most people did.

"Speaking of which..." Lily steered the conversation a little further, "I guess the divorce is still happening? - Ty told me about it. I'm not going to lie when I say that I was sad to hear about it, but... I guess you have your reasons for that." She had always thought Amy would help make a big difference with Ty and she already had, but apparently there were problems in their relationship that they were not able to fix.

"Yeah, it's still happening", Amy confirmed. She wasn't going to back-up, especially not now. Up until this moment she had carried guilt about it inside her, even though it had been Ty's decision too, but now she no longer felt like there was anything that people could say to justify the option that they would just have to stick together despite everything. It was pretty clear neither of them wanted it, and no one else's opinion didn't really count.

"Look, I know it might be strange that I'm saying you this, and I should probably be judging you for it like so many people probably are, but... I'm not. I've been there, I get it. It's not easy", Lily admitted with a vulnerable look on her face. "Especially when violence is involved, whether that's physical or mental or both."

Amy let Lily talk, knowing she had been through hell with men during her lifetime as well.

"There were many times I wish I had been able to do what you are doing earlier than I did when I was married to Brad, but... I was too scared. I had no safety net, I only had Brad and he... he had a hold of me. Mentally and financially. And I had Ty to think about", Lily admitted. "But it's not until now that I realize my fear only benefited Brad, not Ty or me. I kept thinking... if only I could be better, maybe he would change back to the man I fell in love with. That the problem was in me. That I was not good enough, no matter how much I tried. I wanted get back to that good place where we would drive around the country and play card games in the resting spots", she continued and there was a faint smile on her lips before she got more serious again. "But it wasn't about me. It was never about me... It was Brad who needed to change. - Now I keep thinking what Ty must remember from those times and what he must have internalized. How much does that play a part in this and his behaviour."

"I'm sorry..." Amy said, genuinely, knowing Lily's journey must have not been easy.

"Thank you", Lily replied with a frail voice. "But... there's still a chance for me to fix some of that mess, some of this mess. I can be there for Ty now, I can help him find help so he can change his ways. I know my life has benefited from therapy and even though he hasn't been struggling with alcohol like I have, he still has his demons, just like I did. Or Brad did. I can't help Brad anymore and he never allowed himself to be helped either, but... Ty's still here. I can still help him, so I will. I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't try."

Amy nodded, understanding Lily's motives. She could recall few times when Ty had talked about Lily's methods to heal herself, and he had never been a big believer in them, which made Amy wonder if he was going to accept help or even give Lily a chance. But it did seem like Lily was okay with her past now and was able to admit her problems, which both appeared like big steps and results of successful program. Maybe she could talk to Ty from experience and hopefully he would listen. It seemed like Ty's worst fear was coming to life and the prophecy of him becoming like his father would fulfill itself unless he stopped himself now.

"I hope it'll be success", Amy said with a smile. She had never really understood why Ty had not changed, no matter how much support she had given him or how much he realized he was becoming just like his father, but at the end of the day, it was probably like everyone always said; you had to want the change before it could happen. So far, Ty had only wanted the kind of change that benefited him. "But just remember... no one can change the past and even if he saw what he did when he was just a boy, only he can change his future. If he doesn't accept the help you're trying to give him, it's not on you."

Lily nodded a little. "I'll try to keep that in mind."

"Good."

"Do you think that when your divorce is finalized..." Lily began with a careful tone, trying to interpret how Amy would take this, "I could still see Lyndy every now and then...?"

Amy was surprised by the question. Not so much about the fact that Lily wanted to keep on seeing Lyndy, but more about the fact that she had actually never even realized that of course in a way she would divorce Ty's parents too.

"Well, I don't know what our terms for the divorce will be", Amy said, seeing it was not done deal yet, "but I think that can be arranged. I don't want to take her away from you. You're a great grandmother, and Lyndy loves you."

She could then see tears glimmering in Lily's eyes as she came to realize this wouldn't probably be the last she would see her granddaughter. It felt good to give her that news during these times.

"Thank you, Amy", Lily said, hugging Amy tightly. "I'll promise to be the best grandmother she could ever have!"

It was a bittersweet feeling as Amy knew that sadly Lily was the only grandmother Lyndy had (unless her dad decided to marry Casey), but at the same time it was a good thing Lyndy had Lily. There could never be too many people in her life to support her and encourage her as she would grow up.

"I'll count on that", Amy said as they leaned back from the hug. It made Lily grin happily.

As they walked inside the barn, Amy stopped before she opened the door for Lily and lead her to Jade and Lyndy.

"How are you?" she had to ask. "Besides the whole Ty thing."

"Me?" Lily looked surprised someone asked her that. "Oh, I'm fine", she replied and smiled. Amy wasn't sure if it was a genuine smile or something Lily had become a master of whenever things got rough. "Well, considering." She shrugged.

"I just..." Amy began, but wondered if she could ask. She couldn't really explain what she was feeling, but there was maybe some kind of concern over Lily, not only because she had a lot to deal with her son being arrested and everything, but also because she had barely ever had any chance for happiness. "I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but... is everything okay with you and Wade...?"

Lily looked even more surprised by the question.

Amy continued: "I guess I just... well, when you were here the last time, you didn't mention him, so I figured... maybe you were no longer together." Amy hoped she wasn't being insensitive, but it was no secret Lily and Wade had been on/off probably as many times as she and Ty had and had seen their fair share of bad days.

"Oh, we're fine!" Lily said, almost like feeling relieved she could give Amy that answer. "I guess I was just so focused on Lyndy I didn't even realize Wade never came up. He was working at the time and couldn't make it, so... I think I told that to Ty at the time..." She tried to recall if she had.

Amy nodded, hoping that was the case. Maybe this whole thing with Ty had made her realize at least a fraction of what Lily must have went through during her life and it had made her sensitive to the subject altogether. Amy wanted to believe that Lily knew what she was doing and she would no longer stay in an abusive relationship, but the tricky thing about those kind of relationships was that often people didn't realize they were in one. It was just their normal.

At the same time Amy knew she didn't have any insight of what Lily and Wade's relationship was like right now so she couldn't claim to know anything.

"Okay. Just checking", Amy said before she opened the door.

"Oh, hey", Lily noticed. "You have a door now!"

"Yeah", Amy said. "Finally", she added with a hum. In a way that was keeping in with the theme as another reminder what she had done to make herself feel safer after being mentally violated through the break-in.


	81. Chapter 81

"You have to call her", Melanie said as she and Mitch returned back to her house after Mitch had had a meeting with his attorney. Since the man was still recovering from the assault, he had had her drive him to the office and back - just to be sure - and during their drive back to her place, he had filled her in on what had been talked about and how things would proceed from here on.

"I don't know if she can even testify against him. I think there's that whole spousal incompetency thing", Mitch said as they were talking about Amy's role in this whole case. "Or... I don't know if that's still even a thing since her and Ty are separated", he continued, feeling uneasy about the thought of pitting Amy and Ty against each other, even though it was only so the court could hear the truth and judge Ty's actions accordingly.

"I think that changed few years ago - or at least something like that did. And besides, it's not like he has confessed to a murder, has he? She witnessed the assault, right? She would be only telling what she saw", she checked that she had understood Mitch's story right as they stepped inside the house. "I think the purpose of that whole thing is to support marital harmony. If there's no actual marriage to preserve - and sound like there isn't - then..." She let him figure out the rest.

"Yeah, she was, but I..." Mitch sighed and unzipped his jacket. "I don't know. I have to talk to my attorney. Amy's already dealing enough as it is, I don't want to add to that. I don't want to imagine them facing in the court for my sake..."

"Maybe so, but maybe she needs a closure too? Have you thought about that?" Melanie offered an alternative point of view. She knew from experience how important closures were.

"Maybe..." Mitch said, putting his jacket away, but didn't seem convinced.

"Okay - what's the real problem here?" Melanie insisted to know since it was obvious Amy was the key player here if Mitch wanted to hold this Ty guy accountable for what he had done. Personal reasons aside, it made sense to have the eyewitness on the stand.

Mitch stared at nothing for a while, getting a little bit choked up.

"What if... she thinks I am like that?" he finally confessed the reason for his hesitance.

Melanie wasn't following. "Like what?"

"What Ty thought I am, why I think he beat me up. I think he thought I was somehow trying to replace him and be a father figure to Lyndy or... I don't know... use the vulnerability of Amy's current state somehow to my advantage", Mitch explained. "Because I wasn't; I was only trying to support her and Lyndy because it seemed like they could use a friend. The only gain I could get from that is the friendship that we share, and if she had shown any signs of not wanting to be friends, I would have backed off. - But... if he thinks that, maybe other people think that too. Maybe _she_ thinks that too. Especially now."

"There's always that possibility", Melanie admitted, "but you won't know that until you talk to her."

"What would I even say?" Mitch worried, shaking his head and looking at Mel.

"You could start with a "hi" and ask her how she's doing", she suggested as if there was nothing to it.

Mitch nodded, but it didn't seem like Melanie's advice had exactly helped him. "I guess I'm just afraid to lose our friendship. It's kind of changed my life in just few months. She helped me open up, find the support group and because of her and Jack I have a great place to work... I don't want her to take things the wrong way, but at the same time I don't want to make her uncomfortable. That's far more important than whatever I gain from this."

"You know what's the most common enemy of friendships - or any relationship for that matter?" Melanie asked rhetorically. "Not communicating. Assuming. So unless you let her know about your feelings or unless she lets you know how she feels, you won't know anything for sure. So, all this moping is for nothing."

"I'm not moping", Mitch said, looking a little offended. "It's just my face", he tried to lighten up the mood by making fun of his current state because right now humour was the only thing that helped him to deal with it.

"Don't think I haven't seen you on your phone, looking like this", Melanie said and made an exaggerated facial expression where the ends of her mouth faced down.

Mitch laughed a little. "Hey! I was texting to the guys in the group. Had to cancel that whole wedding gig even before I had even booked it", he told as they walked toward the kitchen. "But I suggested they'd contact Jack since I had us on a video, playing together. You know, as a peace offering for looking like a Frankenstein and therefore being unable to come to the wedding."

"I don't know; it might have helped hide the fact that you are not that good at playing the guitar if everyone would have focused on your face instead", Melanie teased. Mitch gave her a nudge, but still laughed it off as they got to the kitchen.

"Hey, how did it go?" Melanie's husband, Danny, asked as he was feeding his daughter by the table. His wife walked over to give him and their daughter a peck before she walked over to the fridge to see if they had anything to eat.

"Ah, fine, I guess?" Mitch said as he leaned on the island counter. "We just went over the whole thing so he knows what we are dealing with and he can make an investigate plan for the case. He will start gathering the evidence needed to prove the claim."

"Which means he'll need the testimonial as well..." Melanie said while raiding the fridge. "So, call her."

"Her? Who?" Danny asked, looking his wife and then back to Mitch.

"The woman Mitch works for - or with. She was an eyewitness", Melanie shared with her husband and went back to talking to Mitch as she took out some left-overs from yesterday. "Your attorney will find her name and statement from the police report anyway and he'll want to talk to her, so..."

"Okay, okay." Mitch was defeated and put his hands up. "I will talk to her."

"Good", Melanie said with a victorious smile.

"You know, your problem is that you don't give up, do you?" Mitch said half-jokingly, going back to what they had talked about the communication earlier.

Melanie shrugged, taking it more as a compliment than a criticism. "I know. But that also means that I get things done."

"I guess..." Mitch admitted.

* * *

A little later, Mitch stood in front of the window of the guest bedroom and stared at his phone. His finger was hovering above Amy's name as he was trying to come up with courage to press the call icon. It was strange having these kind of feelings, because he had never had this kind of problem with Amy; there was nothing intimidating about her, on the contrary, Mitch find he could always talk to her about anything.

Watching outside through the window, to one of the suburbs of Calgary, it felt like he was just miles away from where he should have been, not only physically but mentally as well. Melanie and Danny had been kind enough to take him in for a while until things would get better and he was ready to go back to his trailer. Mitch knew he wasn't in his element in the city and it only added to his stress. He yearned back to the country because it made him feel at ease and gave him something else to think about. There was so much to do and it was pretty much therapeutic for him do all that ranch work.

He also missed Maverick. Watching TV for days wasn't how he wanted to spend his time.

But before he could get back to Hudson, there were things that he needed to deal with. Calling Amy was one of them.

Maybe it was the fact that Mitch wasn't really in the loop about what had happened after he had been taken to a hospital that made this so hard. What was Amy's state of mind? Was she angry at him? How was she doing overall?

 _Just do it,_ Mitch told himself eventually and pressed the green icon. If she wouldn't pick up, then that would be that.

But before Mitch could even consider the possibility of Amy picking up, she did.

 _"Hello?"_ her voice said from the other end.

"Hi... It's Mitch", he said, even though she probably had his number listed unless she had decided to delete it. "I was just... wondering how you are doing?"

 _"Oh. Me?"_ Amy asked and sounded surprised. _"Aren't you the one that had to be taken to a hospital?"_

"Well, yeah, but... we've still both gone through something, so I thought I'd check in on you", Mitch explained. Witnessing a situation like Amy had would be traumatic enough, but the assaulter being someone so close to her had to be even harder.

 _"I'm okay",_ Amy replied after a pause. _"Thanks for asking. - How are you?"_

It was only an analysis based on the tone of her voice and what she was saying, but it sounded to Mitch like maybe Amy wasn't mad at him - or at least nothing gave him the impression that she was.

"I'm fine too", Mitch said. He know he looked beaten up, but was doing surprisingly well considering. Being around Melanie, Danny and their daughter had given him the normalcy he had needed and every day his bruises were healing a little bit more. "I was thinking... uh..." The words started to get stuck and the longer he was having that problem, the harder getting what he wanted to say out became. "That... maybe it would be good for us to talk."

He didn't really know where to go from there and while he was trying to figure that out, Amy suddenly took the lead.

 _"I've been thinking that too",_ Amy admitted. _"Maybe you could come over. The phone seems kind of... I don't know, not as personal. I know Grandpa said you're on a leave right now, but... maybe just drop by. If you're okay with that. Or, we could see at Maggie's, if that's better?"_ she suggested.

It surprised Mitch, he had not expected to get an invitation to visit, but at the same time it helped him talk because the pressure wasn't all on him anymore.

"Maybe not Maggie's. Just because... I still look kind of... rough. And may I suggest you not to have Lyndy around, just because I'm pretty sure I've traumatized Melanie's daughter for life by being in the same house while I look like this... so, one traumatized kid is enough", Mitch replied.

 _"Right, okay, good to know",_ Amy thanked him for his consideration. _"So is that where you've been? With Melanie? I mean, I went to see if you were at the Dude Ranch, but... it's all snowed in, so I figured you weren't there."_

"Yeah, I'm in Calgary right now", Mitch confirmed. "For a while, so I can get things moving." He noticed it was easier to talk to Amy again because she was being so forthcoming. He didn't know why he had waited this long, it all felt stupid now, even though at the same time he recognized they still had the hardest part in front of them because they had to talk about the case.

But this was a good start.

 _"Makes sense",_ Amy replied. _"So... when would you be coming? Just so I know to be around."_

"How about tomorrow? Let's say... ten o'clock, maybe?" Mitch suggested.

 _"Tomorrow ten o'clock sounds good."_

"Okay... Well, I'll see you then."

 _"See you",_ Amy said, and in a way the conversation was already done, but neither of them felt like putting the phone down.

Even though they were in contact only through the phone and listened to the silence of the line, something about that comforted both of them. Knowing that both of them were there, thinking about each other and being connected again.

"Okay... Bye", Mitch finally said when he figured Amy probably had other things to do too, no matter how nice this felt for him.

 _"Bye",_ Amy's voice said from the other end before they ended the phone call.


	82. Chapter 82

"And then you turn here", Mitch instructed Danny toward the road that would take them to Heartland. The closer they got to the ranch, the more nervous Mitch became. His palms were sweating and he was trying to wipe his hands on his jeans to make them less clammy.

Danny kept glancing his way even though his main focus was on the road.

"You okay, man?" he asked, noticing Mitch's nervous tics. "I know Mel said you should talk to this woman, but you seem a little... I don't know, nervous. You think this is a good idea?"

"Y-yeah, yeah, I'm okay, just... I don't know, I guess I am a little nervous", Mitch stuttered, feeling a little embarrassed it was so easy to pick up. He felt like such a mess. "I don't know why."

"Well, my guess would be it'll probably have something to do with the fact that you're going back to the place where you were assaulted", Danny shared his take. He was aware Mitch attended a support group of some kind, so maybe his mental health overall was compromised and this was pushing it. "How much longer did you say it was from here?"

"Uh, about a kilometer", Mitch said, trying to think straight.

Danny checked his mirrors before pulling onto the side of the road.

Mitch looked at him with a questioning look. "What's happening...?"

"We can still turn around", Danny offered. "If you're not ready, you're not ready. I know Mel can be a bit pushy and I know that she's just thinking of your best interest, but... well, you've been through a lot and the only person you really gotta listen to is yourself. Everyone's on their own pace."

Mitch sighed. He didn't want to appear weak, but he had to admit that going to see Amy and the whole assault thing wasn't the only thing on his mind. Since the phone call - and maybe even before that - he had tried to think what he would say to Amy once he'd see her again, and that was when he had began to rethink some things and some of his actions to get a better understanding of his motives, and he had realized he might be still more attached to the past than he had thought.

"Can I ask you something... kind of personal?" Mitch finally decided to invite Danny into his world. "And you don't have to answer if you don't want to. I get these things can be... kind of difficult to talk about."

"What is it?" Danny asked. There were very little things he wasn't ready to talk about.

"Well... when you met Mel", Mitch began, "and found out that she was a widower... how did you deal with that? - I guess what I'm asking is... did that change the way you felt about things or how you approached her?" he continued with his questions.

Around that time, both Mitch and Melanie had been dealing with the loss of Zach in their own ways - on top of other things - and Mitch had not really realized how serious Danny and Melanie's relationship was until she had finally introduced the man to him. Initially it had shocked Mitch, in fact he had even got a little mad about it, because he had thought somehow Mel had forgot about Zach that fast. There had been a period where they had not really talked to one another after that, but when they had seen each other on Mitch mom's birthday party, he had decided to go talk to Melanie and listen to her side of the story.

It had made him realize everyone had their own path with mourning and what might look insulting for others, could be something that saved someone else from the darkness they were trying to run away from. Maybe he had not really understood the whole thing at the time, but eventually Mitch had seen how happy Melanie had become and in a way he didn't want to speak badly about something that made her smile again, so he had decided to get to know Danny and that had helped him understand why Melanie had fallen in love with him after the loss of Zach.

While dealing with all of that and hearing Melanie's side, Mitch had come to realize that as much as she had loved Zach, the months leading up to his cousin's suicide had not been easy for him or for her, and it had been kind of like he had always said; Zach had never really returned from the war. All of a sudden they had been like strangers who were supposedly married, but the contrast to what had been to what was now had been too much as they had struggled to understand one another. So unlike some had thought, Mel had not jumped from being high in love to then falling in love again with another man. Danny had showed her that there was still much more to life after death, and for that Mitch was thankful. Who knew where Melanie would be now if it wasn't for him.

"That's a big question", was the first thing Danny said. They had never really talked about this, and he knew that at first Mitch hadn't really been approving of him - which he had understood - but eventually he had come to show him that he was not here to replace Zach, he only wanted to love Mel. Even though the question was in some ways loaded, Danny still didn't think it was because Mitch still had his doubts about him and Mel. It seemed like there was something else going on. "Well... in a way it did change things. And I think she picked up on that, because when she told me about Zach, she wanted to stress that she didn't want me to treat her any differently. I don't know if you know how things went when we met, but we became friends before we became anything more. I could sense she wasn't really looking for a relationship and I don't know if I was either, to be honest, but... all I knew was that I wanted to have her in my life in some way. There was something... magical about her, I had never met anyone like her. I didn't completely shut out the possibility of dating, but I guess I kind of expected it to be just a friendship thing all along, so there was never really this expectation for it to become something else eventually. It just happened. And I think that was what she needed. That whatever it was or whatever it could be, it would happen on her own terms. And it was important for me to understand and respect that."

Mitch nodded. It made him feel a little bit better about the whole situation with Melanie and Danny, even though in most ways he was already okay about it.

Even though the situation wasn't completely the same with Amy, Mitch was kind of pondering similar things. He wanted to let Amy know that he would be there for her as a friend, but it seemed like it could be easily misinterpret by others. Understanding and respect were some of the things he thought were important for him as well when being around Amy.

Danny watched him, wondering about something. "Why are you asking this now?" he inquired, trying to figure out why the question seemed so charged with something he couldn't really put his finger on.

"I guess I'm just trying to figure myself out and this whole... assault thing", Mitch admitted, looking around. "I keep repeating Ty's - it's that guy", he clarified, "words in my head and what they must have meant and how I must appear to other people. Because I didn't think I would be provoking anything, and yet..." He shrugged.

"So, what's your conclusion...?" Danny asked.

Mitch sighed heavily. "I think I might have given a wrong impression around a wrong person", he shared, "by being in Amy and Lyndy's life."

"Who are Amy and Lyndy again...?" Danny checked.

"Amy's the woman I'm going to meet soon, and Lyndy's her daughter. And the guy's daughter", Mitch explained.

Danny nodded deeply. "Oh, right right. - So... what was your intention then? With them?" He was starting to see where they might be going with this and why Mitch had asked about Melanie.

"I guess I..." Mitch began, but didn't know how to continue at first. He looked outside, feeling a lump in his throat. "I guess I've just been feeling helpless since Zach", he finally admitted.

"Helpless? Why?" Danny asked. He understood that for some people talking about your wife's late husband with his cousin who had been like a brother to him might be a little bit strange, but that was what he had signed up for and these people were his family now. A grief this size being dealt with was better than a pain suppressed.

Mitch looked at his hands as they were shaking now. He curled his fingers into fists in order to calm them down. "I saw Zach that night... The night he-" His words disappeared as if the breath had been kicked out of him.

"It's okay, I know what you mean", Danny said, not wanting Mitch to push himself for his sake.

There was a pause, but Danny waited patiently for Mitch to continue.

"And before I left, I could sense something was... off, because I knew him so well, but I didn't ask about it, I guess I just figured he would tell me if he needed my help somehow. Because I always told him I would be there for him, you know." Mitch frowned as he felt tears in his eyes. "I just don't understand why I didn't ask, even when I could see he wasn't doing well. And the next day, Mel called... and told me Zach had killed himself, and I just... broke down. I couldn't believe it was real. I mean, I had just seen him, like how could that be true... How could he be gone?"

"Mitch..." Danny said, looking at him with concern. "I understand I didn't know Zach, but from what I've come to know about you guys, I'm sure he knew that he could ask anything from you. And based on everything Mel has told me, it seemed like it wasn't just... an impulsive decision; like, after he had died, Mel started to trace down things that only made sense after he was already gone. And it seems like he had already decided he no longer wanted to live. I know it's hard to accept and maybe you never have to accept that, I mean it's a horrible thing to accept, but it's just something you have to live with. The fact that he made that decision for himself. I don't think you could have done anything about it."

Mitch nodded, sniffling a little.

"Maybe not, but... I guess after that I've just become really sensitive to people's needs. I feel guilty if I don't help", Mitch explained. "And I've seen Amy struggling and needing help, so I just thought I'd offer because... sometimes people just need other people to help a little. I never intended it to be anything else than help, but I guess people don't see it that way. I mean, I was even asked by the police if we were having an affair. I know it's probably something they have to ask, but... I just wanted to help her. That's all."

"Well, screw those people", Danny commented. "I think it tells more about them than it tells about you. I mean, we all have our own experiences and frames of references we use to identify situations in order to deal with them. For you, you see a struggling mother and you think maybe they could use a little help with things, where as someone else sees her and thinks she's gotten caught in the middle of some kind of love triangle. But if your intentions were honest, and she doesn't mind the help, then no one else should matter. - This coming from a guy who got a lot of crap from dating a widower. As if they wouldn't deserve love after losing their spouse, like they'd be meant to be forever alone. - You just gotta tune them out, man. Only the people involved know what's going on, everything else is just other people's reflections of their own lives."

"Yeah, I guess you're right", Mitch admitted.

Danny looked Mitch one more time before he was ready to shift the gear back to Drive. "And don't do things because you have regrets about Zach. Try to do things in his honour. I think he would want you to help people, just like you helped Mel get back on her feet when you guys lost him."

That made Mitch smile a little bit as it did sound like something that Zach would want. Before his darkest times, he had always been someone who just wanted to make people happy. That had been one of the reasons why his death had hit everyone so hard; how can someone so happy become so depressed that they could not see any way out of it?

Even though it was backwards and not true, in his suicide note Zach had wrote that he had not wanted to burden Melanie anymore with himself and that was why he had done what he had done. As if that would make everything okay again.

"Are you ready to go or do you want me to turn around?" Danny checked. "Because, you know, we can do either."

"I'm ready", Mitch finally said with a nod, looking ahead. "Take me to Heartland."

Even though he realized this was a bigger process than he had initially realized, it had been a good talk and the conversation had moved some things along and given him more things to think about. Maybe eventually he wouldn't feel so guilty about everything or feel the need to fix things because he couldn't save his cousin.

Maybe he would start doing things in Zach's honour from now on, so people would get another chance for happiness. The happiness the war had took from him.


	83. Chapter 83

Amy kept pacing back and forth inside the barn office and checking the time from her phone. A minute had not even passed since the last time she had checked her phone, but it felt like more time would have gone by as her nerves were taking over. She was usually good at staying calm, because often when something nerve-wrecking was happening, she focused on something she could do, but now all she could do was wait.

Lyndy was with her great-grandparents in the house - as per Mitch's suggestion - and the horses had all been turned out and the stalls had been cleaned. With the help of Jack, Lisa and Tim, they had all really mastered following the schedules and had probably never been this organized before (there was something about Lisa's presence that made Jack and Tim work more efficiently as well).

 _Maybe there was something to clean in the loft? Surely she had left some dishes in the sink or there was an odd sock on the floor from when she had been folding the laundry - or something,_ Amy thought to herself, knowing full well she had already made the place look spiffy, seeing she would have a guest soon.

She checked the time again. It was ten o'clock already. _Where was Mitch?_

As soon as that thought crossed her mind, Amy heard truck noises coming from outside. Her body got more tense again as she knew this was going to be it.

Through the dusty window frames and bleary glass, Amy saw a silver truck dropping Mitch off in front of the barn. He gave the driver a wave and then the other man steered the vehicle around the pole in the middle of the yard till they were headed back to where they came from.

As Mitch wondered which door to use - and looked a little hesitant altogether - Amy stepped out of the office door to meet him, because she no longer wanted to wait, even though she didn't know what was going to happen now.

"Hey..." she said, taking in the state of his face. She recalled seeing blood covering his features the last time she had seen him, but now the red was gone and the face had turned black and blue. Both of those shades made Amy's gut turn a little as she felt responsibility for it, in some ways.

"Hey", Mitch greeted her back. He too knew how he appeared and even though he knew he couldn't exactly hide, Mitch was having hard time making an eye contact as it would make him see just how Amy was looking at him and what was possibly going through her mind.

"Come on in..." Amy gestured for him to go inside. He walked to the barn office, and Amy followed his steps, trying to be okay with how he looked and act normal. "How are you?"

"Been better, but I'm okay", Mitch shared honestly. "What about you?"

"I'm okay, too", Amy replied, trying to smile but couldn't keep it up long. "Uh, do you wanna talk here or... go upstairs, or...?" she made suggestions, even though she knew she had coffee waiting in the loft. But the most important thing was that Mitch was comfortable.

"Maybe upstairs", Mitch suggested because he didn't know if anyone else was around inside the barn and could hear everything. This conversation was for their ears only, he felt.

Amy nodded, then leading the way upstairs. Mitch followed her until they came to the staircase and he let his gaze wander around.

The spot where he had laid covered in blood made him stop to recall the memories. Some of those had come back slowly, but there was still some blanks he needed to fill and still some fears he had to face. Since the whole incident had happened so fast and so unexpectedly, Mitch was still trying to make sense of what was an actual memory of what had happened and what was a fearful memory of what could have happened.

As uncomfortable as it was to look at the concrete floor where a thought of him getting possibly so badly assaulted that he could die had crossed his mind, Mitch felt it was good to be back to face it all and deal with the emotions, so they wouldn't get as big as the ones from Afghanistan that had caused him his PTSD. He had walked pass that spot so many times with completely different thoughts and emotions, and this one moment with him getting beat up by Ty, wasn't going to ruin all those other memories for him.

This wasn't a bad place, it was just a bad memory.

Amy turned around and saw Mitch's gaze locked onto the floor. She didn't have to guess what the man was thinking right now.

"You okay...?" Amy checked.

Mitch blinked couple of times and turned his head to look at Amy. "Y-yeah, I am."

"It's that spot, isn't it?" Amy guessed. Mitch nodded, feeling pretty transparent. "I had a same reaction too the first time I went by it. But it's gotten easier. I mean, I still remember it, vividly, but... I try not to let it be the only thing I remember. I don't want to give that memory so much power, because this place, this barn, has always been my sanctuary. And the fact that it feels violated now... not only because of this but also because of the break-in that happened last year... I refuse to give them the power. It's hard to realize you can't control how other people invade your space sometimes, but... you can control - at least to some extent - how you feel about it. I don't wanna give this place up. It's far too important to me. So, I just have to learn to live with what has happened."

She realized it was easy for her to say it about the assault, but Amy still hoped that she could somehow show to Mitch he wasn't alone in dealing with the memories and even though it took time, life still always went on.

Mitch nodded. "I was kind of thinking the same thing. It's not the place that's hurt me, it's something else. - It's good to be back to face it all so it doesn't have a power over me."

"I'm glad you feel that way", Amy wanted to say. "It can't be easy, but you're doing it right now."

After Mitch nodded, they continued upstairs. When they came to the loft, Mitch could smell coffee and something else, something sweet Amy had probably baked. She felt the need to explain.

"I... I didn't know what would say "I'm sorry my ex beat you up", so I just made muffins", Amy said awkwardly and went to the kitchen.

It made Mitch smile a little bit, not because of the assault part, but the fact that he wasn't the only one feeling nervous about this unusual situation and she had spent time thinking what she could offer for him under these circumstances. Somehow it helped to ease the tension.

"Don't think they make cookbooks for those kind of events, so I'm sure muffins are fine", Mitch commented and put his hands into his pockets when Amy began to set the table with coffee and the pastries. He noticed that as soon as he had settled into Amy's presence, the tension in his body started to mend and it was easier to be present because he no longer had to think about what she was doing or thinking, because if he couldn't see that now, he could always ask. They were there for each other now. "How's Bruni?"

"Oh, she's better. Her appetite has improved, and I think next week she'll be ready to meet the herd", Amy shared, feeling immediately different when talking about horses. Mitch could even see her smiling. "I think that'll improve things even more - I mean, I feel like she just misses being part of something. I've tried to be there for her as much as I can while she's isolated, but... there's only so much I can do. I'm not a horse and I'm not her home. But I will get her there."

Amy's smile was contagious, and Mitch smiled even though it still hurt a little to move some of the muscles in his face. "That's great news."

"Yeah. Honestly, I feel like she came into my life on the right time. With all this craziness going on, I think she really gives me something to focus on. Her and Lyndy", Amy spoke, again with a warmer tone. It seemed like she was getting more relaxed as well.

"It's good to hear", Mitch said sincerely, looking around. He had missed these smells and the atmosphere here. "I miss the country. There's very little to do in the city. TV and books, that's about it. I don't really leave the house. It would help if it was Halloween", he jokingly added. "But I can't wait that long."

Amy smiled briefly, but felt sympathy for the man. She couldn't imagine being cooped up for days on end.

"Does that... hurt?"

She quickly gestured toward her face to help make the connection about what she was talking about.

Mitch shrugged. "Sometimes. But I have pain medication to help me with that. I'm just glad I didn't broke my nose or it would have been a whole other mess..." he replied, shaking his head a little.

"Well, it's not exactly you who would have broken the nose, is it?" Amy had to say. "You didn't ran into a fist repeatedly by accident or because you wanted to."

Mitch looked at her and nodded. "Well, yeah. I guess not."

There was an awkward pause until Amy moved one of the chairs by the table. "Please, have a seat."

"Thanks", Mitch said, walking closer and sitting down. "Speaking of which... I've been going over my situation with an attorney and... he might give you a call since you were an eyewitness. But I don't know what the plan is yet, so I don't want you to worry about that. We're just seeing what the options are."

It was all becoming so real again, Amy thought, but at the same time she knew this would happen considering the circumstances. "Okay. Thanks for telling me."

They sat down and as Amy was filling their cups with coffee, she felt like she needed to say something.

"Look, if you decide to take this to trial, I understand", Amy wanted to give Mitch the absolution. "I get that this whole thing is absurd, and you might feel like you deserve justice and the trial might give you that. What happened... shouldn't have happened. It was wrong, and I feel horrible about it."

Mitch frowned. "It's not you fault, Amy."

"He didn't say anything to you before he hit, did he...?" Amy checked. That was kind of the impression she had gotten about the whole thing but he didn't have Mitch's confirmation. "He didn't warn you, right?"

"No. I just... I think I just said hi, or something, and then... it's kind of all black", Mitch confessed, not knowing if it was a blessing or a curse to have this blank space between the greeting and the first blow. He realized it was a body's way to protect him, but on a trial it could make a difference.

Amy nodded as her breathing was getting more intermittent. "It's because what Caleb said to him. I should have been more firm with Caleb, I should have made things more clear. I don't know if he didn't just believe me or if he just didn't care; Grandpa said, after he had talked with him, Caleb didn't think it would escalate like this, but the reality is that it did, and-"

"Hey, hey", Mitch tried to calm Amy down and laid his hand on her shaky hand that was holding the coffee pot. "It's because of what Caleb said then, right? Isn't that what you said yourself? Caleb. Not you. And then Ty chose to react the way he did. If you say you didn't provoke either of them in any way, I believe you."

"I didn't. At least I didn't think I did", Amy said, feeling unsure since there had been situations in the past where she had thought to act certain way but then someone had accused her about acting a whole other way. It had made her insecure. "I wouldn't have, because I know better since..."

She wanted to say it wasn't the first time and to be honest, the way Ty had reacted had not been a surprise for her - which was pretty scary revelation in itself - now that she had really thought about it.

It was also concerning how she had become so conditioned about the whole violent side of him representing love that she had not counted it being a deal breaker of any kind despite all the evidence she had gotten over the years.

How could she had not seen it until now? Maybe she had had to fall out of love with him in order to see who he really was. She had literally been blinded by her own love for him - or who she had thought him to be.

Amy felt stupid for not understanding how masterfully Ty had - whether it had been conscious or unconscious decision - masked his destructive nature under all the promises and declarations of love and had then made her so distracted by the affection he was supposedly showing her instead of allowing her to realize that his possessiveness and need for control - "his love" - could end up destroying her more than one way, whether that was mentally, physically, emotionally, financially - or all of them.

She now realized, love wasn't supposed to be shown through violence. It was supposed to be shown through respect and following through your promises.

Mitch waited. Amy considered her options, but decided to tell the truth, despite all the shame she carried inside her now.

"This isn't the first time he's been sued", she confessed. "But that time, the charges were dropped before it went on trial. Back then, I was so relieved. I don't think I even fully realized what was about to happen, it was all... a blur. We were about to get married and instead of worrying about remembering my vows, I was wondering if I would have to start thinking about arranging my life around family visits. And the craziest thing about it all was that I was willing to do it. I didn't care how I would be with him, as long as I would be with him. I think about it now and back then I didn't even allow myself to be mad at him for possibly ruining our wedding - or even worse, the rest of our life."

Amy let out air in disbelief before she continued.

"I was willing to do everything for him or understand everything he did, because he said he loved me. It was like it was all that mattered. That _he_ loved _me_. As if I got his approval or something because I was worthy of his love as I was. Like nothing else was as important as his approval, so I just tried to make him happy. - But now, here we are again. Our lives have changed, I've changed... but he hasn't. I've been thinking about that a lot and I keep wondering why is that. Why have I changed, but he hasn't, and the only conclusion I've come to is that I've had to face the consequences of his actions and the fear of what his actions could cause me, so it has shaped me. Where as... I don't know, I can't remember him changing his ways because something shook him to his core. He just went on as if nothing ever happened. He never lost anything due to his decisions. He always had his wife and his kid and his job no matter what he decided or did. So why change, you know? Maybe that was why he thought he could easily get me to move to Vancouver, but I guess he didn't count in the fact that for a while now, I've been mostly alone. I've got time to think, I've got time to feel. As if I've become... sober. And I see how I've changed and to be honest, that has terrified me. Like I was more sure about my love for him than I was for myself. I don't know if I love who I am. I just know I don't love him anymore. So I'm alone now, and that's fine. But I need to learn to love myself now and... that's been hard. And I know it's only going to get harder, because for so long I thought I have to change to be loved."

"You don't", Mitch had to say. "You're not hard to love, Amy, if that's what you think."

Amy looked at Mitch, feeling a little overwhelmed just from hearing someone say that because all her life, she had always thought she had been.

Before she had known the real reasons for her dad leaving, Amy had always assumed it had been something she had done. She had been five back then. Five year old who thought she had not been a good daughter because her dad had left her behind. No one had been willing to tell her where Tim had been or why he had left. So it had stuck. She was to blame.

When she had grown up and had been disappointed by boys, eventually Amy had figured she wasn't interested in love. She would just become the crazy horse lady who would have ten horses and who wouldn't care about boys.

And then Ty Borden had come into her life and made her wonder maybe she should give love another chance after fighting it for a little while. And here she was, betrayed and brokenhearted.

So to now hear someone say, that something she had thought to be true ever since she had been five years old wasn't true... It was huge and it would take a while for her to internalize that.

"Thank you", Amy said, appreciating Mitch's support on her journey to self-love. "I guess I just wonder if even now, at this second, Ty understands the consequences of his actions. Will he finally be shook to his core", she added.

"I'm sorry", Mitch said, "that you've had to go through that."

Amy nodded as Mitch slowly pulled his hand away now that she was more collected. She put down the coffee pot.

"Me too. I guess that's what I wanted to say to you. That if you think something is holding you back from suing Ty, don't let it be me or Lyndy. Because we'll be fine."

Mitch looked at Amy. He didn't know what would happen next, but it was good to know how Amy felt about it all.

"Well, in the same breath", Mitch decided it was his time to speak. "I would also like to apologize if I've ever done anything that made you feel uneasy. Or if I ever showed you any unwanted attention or you felt unsafe or uncomfortable around me. Even if it was never my attention, I understand there could have been a possibility of that. And I'm sorry."

Amy frowned and shook her head.

"You never made me feel any of those things", she wanted to clarify. "And whatever was said during this assault or before or after by someone else, I wouldn't give that much value, because they don't speak on my behalf. For the first time in a long time... I speak for me."

It made Mitch feel a little bit better to hear that. He tried to remember what Danny and Melanie had said; it was impossible to control how Ty felt about him or about this, but at least he knew where he stood with Amy and it looked like she knew where he stood with her.


	84. Chapter 84

_Sorry, I know it's been a while! This past month has just been absolutely insane for me, so I haven't had time to sit down and write. But here's a new chapter._

* * *

After Mitch and Amy had had coffee and ate few muffins, the conversation felt more casual and it eventually moved onto horses. Not only was Mitch missing the daily routine of spending time with these majestic creatures while working and keeping up with Amy's achievements with horses who had behavioral issues, he specifically missed being around his own horse that resided at Heartland too, Maverick.

The good thing was that even though Mitch felt badly about not being able to look after Maverick for few days, he still knew that the horse was automatically getting the best care at Heartland and Maverick's daily routine would not change much which made things less stressful for both Mitch and Maverick.

Even though Maverick was a brave, sometimes stubborn, hardworking horse and he was only at Heartland due to Mitch's work and not because of some kind of issue, Mitch knew his nature to be sensitive and he especially didn't like big changes, such as Mitch disappearing for long periods of time. Even though everything else had remained the same for the horse while Mitch had been resting, there was still this gnawing worry inside Mitch that made him wonder if his absence had had any effect on Maverick's mood at all.

There was only one way to find out.

As they walked downstairs, Mitch noticed that even though he acknowledged the recent events that had taken place in this barn not long ago, he was now more focused on wanting to see Maverick than he was on the memories, and he felt better in Amy's presence as they had cleared the air about everything.

Nothing in this barn could hurt him now. This was a safe place for everyone here.

Maverick immediately recognized the sound of Mitch's boots and pushed his head over the stall door to make sure he was hearing right. Mitch's face lit up as soon as he saw the curious eyes of his dear horse as he went around the corner. Some people said horses always looked the same, but Mitch knew them to be very expressive, and the look on Maverick's face made him laugh a little.

"Hey, boy..." the man greeted the gelding and gave him few scratches to the center of his white star on the top of his head. "I missed you so much."

Amy followed his footsteps with a smile on her face as she was always happy to witness any type of reunions between horses and their people. She gave Mitch and Maverick space to greet one another and walked to Spartan's stall to check up on him.

"Have you been good, huh?" Mitch talked to the horse and then caressed his cheeks softly. "Yeah, I bet you have. You always are." He then turned halfway to look at Amy. "I was worried he'd be mad at me for being away this long. I thought maybe he'd think that I was going to go abroad again."

"He seems fine to me", Amy commented. "And hasn't been acting weird. I guess he had faith in you coming back soon."

"That's good", Mitch said, then turning back to Maverick again.

"What do you say... we take Spartan and Maverick for a ride?" Amy suggested now that she had few hours to spare since Lyndy was with Grandpa and Lisa. "I've been wanting to check up on the wild herd that lingers in the valley for few days now, but just haven't had the time."

"Is the herd okay?" Mitch asked, wondering if there was a specific reason Amy was worried about them.

"Hopefully. There's been few cold nights and there's not much to eat in the valley, so... I thought I'd make sure they are okay", Amy explained. "I know they are wild, and people keep saying nature will take care of them, but... I still want to keep an eye on them."

"Of course", Mitch could understand that. He then looked at Maverick, wondering how he would feel about riding again. It's not as if he was going to do bronc riding, but for now he had avoided driving, just in case, which was why Danny had dropped him off. Riding was a bit similar, but then again not at all. Mitch trusted Maverick to know to take it easy, and this was only going to be a lazy trail ride, so why not. "Let's do it. Let's go for a ride", he then said to Amy.

* * *

When Amy and Mitch were checking on their saddles outside the barn and getting ready to mount their horses, Tim drove his truck close to the barn and it seemed like he had been visiting Maggie's based on the stuff at the back. Amy was thankful Tim was around to help them with the daily chores and running errands. Even though her dad had not said anything, Amy still had this feeling that he liked being needed like this. It made him feel important and part of the family.

"You're back", Tim said when he stepped out of the truck and looked at Mitch as he slammed the door shut. "You might want to invest into a paper bag, though..." he continued, commenting on his face.

Amy glared at her dad. "Dad..."

"It's fine", Mitch said, being able to take Tim's comments by now. "And I'm just visiting today", he replied to Tim's observation. "Doctors said I gotta take it easy for a few days. But after that, if you all will still have me, I'd be happy to come back to work."

He looked at Amy who gave him an approving nod.

"We'll sure need a hand", Tim said. "With Lou in New York, I gotta keep an eye on Maggie's, and Lisa's looking after the Dude Ranch guests on the side of running Fairfield. The new manager Lou hired before leaving to the States is efficient, but she can't run the place on her own every day, which leaves Amy with Jack. And, well... the old man's not as active as he used to be, so..."

"Grandpa's trying his best", Amy said, not willing to belittle anyone's efforts and also not wanting Mitch to feel any pressure to come back before he was feeling up for it.

"I know that, but I'm just sayin'", Tim added, then walking to the back of the truck so he could start unloading the things he had bought. "Oh, funny thing. Guess who I ran into at Maggie's?"

Amy mounted Spartan and looked down on her dad as she got a hold of the reins. "Who?"

"The blonde friend of yours, the girl who married Caleb once upon a time. Stanton's girl. What's her name...? Ashleigh...?" Tim murmured, trying to recall the name correctly.

"Ashley", Amy said and upon stating the name, became aware just how weird that was. Ashley had left Hudson on her rearview mirror years ago and she had only visited once since - well, that Amy knew of. Sure, she had family here she was visiting, but maybe Ashley wanted to keep her visits as secret as possible, considering all the things that had happened between their families since that last visit.

Amy had no problems with Ashley, per se, but her friend had managed to break Caleb's heart twice after her marriage with him (Amy felt her own relationship with Caleb was still at "undecided" stage seeing he had been part of the whole Mitch assault chain of events and had not even apologized for it) and her brother, Jesse, had almost taken Ty to jail with his charges few years ago.

"That's the one", Tim replied. "I said it's nice of her to come visit Val every now and then, seeing it seems to be so easy for kids to forget their parents once they move out", he continued, and Amy wondered if Tim's comment had something to do with Shane, "but she told me she was here mostly for business."

"Business?" Amy echoed, trying to remember what her field of profession was again. _A lawyer,_ she recalled after a while, _Ashley was a lawyer._ Caleb has said Ashley had been in law school, studying, while she herself had been in hospital after being kicked by a horse. "You mean, as a lawyer?"

"Yup", Tim confirmed, leaning against his truck with an amused look on his face. "And guess who her client is? Guess?" he ushered and had a snarky tone in his voice. But before Amy could even make a guess, he continued. "Okay, I'll tell you. Ty. Ty is her client. - I guess all that living at that trailer years ago paid off since she's working for him pro bono."

Amy felt like the air had left her. It wasn't that she didn't know Ashley and Ty had a relationship of their own, one that she didn't know much about since every time Ty had been around her long periods of time - like when he had decided to work at Briar Ridge or when they had broken up after the whole Blair/Chase thing - she had not really been that much involved as a third wheel.

But Amy had still always thought Ashley to be more of her friend than his. Maybe the reason why Ashley had not really reached out to have a cup of coffee while she was in town had not been about the family drama after all - seeing Ashley seemed to be fine with Ty even after the Jesse thing - but the fact that she was working on his case. Maybe there was a conflict of interest?

Mitch, who was now on Maverick, looked at Amy with concern. He didn't know about these people, but it seemed like these news had had some kind of effect on Amy. Based on Tim's delivery, he didn't feel greatly about this turn of events either, but at least he seemed to be on Amy's side on this based on his mockery.

"Just thought you should know if it gets to the point where you have to face him in court", Tim said, continuing his chores. "Because she might be there too."

Amy nodded, appreciating her dad's heads-up even though it was not exactly the kind of news she really had wanted to hear - but maybe for that reason exactly. At least people were being honest with her now instead of hiding everything in fear of her not liking what she was hearing. "Thanks for telling me."

"Wasn't going to trust Ty to tell you, that's for sure", Tim scoffed.

"We are going for a trail ride to check up on the wild horses at the valley", Amy said, changing the subject and trying to focus for a while so she wouldn't get too hung up on all these bad news coming from Ty's direction again. This was supposed to be a nice trail ride between her and Mitch to catch up and spend some quality time with their horses. "Thanks for running the errands, Dad."

"Of course. I'll be putting these in the barn", Tim commented. "It was good to see you, Trooper", he said to Mitch.

Mitch hummed at the nickname. Even though the way Tim said it made it sound like he was mocking him, Mitch recalled Jack saying being called that meant he had Tim's respect.

Amy pressed her legs gently on the sides of Spartan and clicked her tongue so they would get moving. Mitch followed her lead with Maverick, getting used to sitting on the saddle again. Everything felt so stiff, the horse under him included.

* * *

When they left the yard and started going through the birch trees by the side, Mitch felt like he needed to say something even though he didn't really know much about the people involved.

"You okay...?"

Amy looked over her shoulder, knowing that she probably looked very serious again. Mitch walked on her side with Maverick while she was trying to think of what to say. It was all such a layered thing that putting it into words felt near impossible.

"That lawyer dad mentioned", Amy started, "she used to be my friend. In fact, I was her maid of honor at her wedding when she married Caleb. So I guess I'm just confused..."

Maverick and Spartan moved under them at such ease that neither Mitch nor Amy even had to focus on steering them on as the horses already pretty much guessed where they were headed. That gave Amy and Mitch the opportunity to focus on the conversation.

"I mean, I guess in a way it makes sense to have Ty ask her, because they already have an established relationship and that might help his case because she knows him in a way that other lawyers might not, but... it's also kind of unbelievable how Ty's manages to work on people", Amy continued to explain. "Like I said, Caleb used to be married to this person. Now that Ty is probably done with Caleb, he just swiftly moves to work with his ex. And not only that, this Ashley's brother was the person who accused Ty of an assault few years ago. And I guess it's not even about Ty entirely, but Ashley too. I guess she was never the one with the best morals, being a Stanton and all, but she really changed over the years, especially when she was with Caleb. But maybe she no longer has loyalties to Caleb nor her brother, which I can't fully blame her, but..."

Amy sighed.

"I know it's stupid, because we haven't been in touch for ages, but it's one of those things you kind of assume", she explained, "that even though you wouldn't talk for years, when you meet each other again, it's like no time has ever passed. And I always thought Ashley to be my friend, but I guess she is Ty's friend too. Maybe even more so in a way, since she's willing to help him out in this."

Mitch thought about it for a while. "Okay, I may not know her, but just from the outsider's perspective... she's fighting me and my lawyer, not you. Does she even know about you and Ty's situation...? I mean, you said you haven't talked for years", he asked, wondering if Amy felt like this Ashley was taking sides in their separation and that was why she felt so betrayed by him and her.

Amy looked at Mitch and realized he had a point. She was taking this way too personally for some reason. "Unless Ty told her right away, probably not... I mean, you have a good point. Maybe she thought that by helping him, she'd be helping me too since Ty and I are together in her mind", Amy suggested. "Just because he's helping him, doesn't necessarily mean that she would be fighting against me", she continued, but she still couldn't shake the feeling.

She would have felt better about Ty hiring someone else, but then again, this was never about her feelings at all. Ty just wanted to get off as easily as possible and he had seen Ashley as the way out.

So maybe it was because of Mitch that she felt so strongly, Amy thought. Maybe she worried that Ashley might be just that good that Mitch would not get the justice he deserved.

But was she thinking that because everything that had to do with Ty these days was something she was against or was it more about how she felt about Mitch?

Or maybe both?


	85. Chapter 85

Amy stopped Spartan at the top of the hill and looked around at the white scenery. The landscape was covered in snow, so any other color would naturally stand out against it and make it easier for her to spot any horses she had come here to see. This place was usually where the wild herd liked to stay; during summers they were grazing out in the field and during winters, they took cover from the thick woods that helped them with the gruesome wind and snowy storms.

"Anything...?" Mitch asked as he steered Maverick next to Spartan. They both were now on the look-out, but neither of them saw anything. "Maybe they've moved elsewhere", he suggested.

Just as Mitch had said it, Amy noticed something moving by the neck of the woods.

"No, wait, there's something", Amy said, pointing out a tail that could be seen between the pines. "Looks like they've found enough shelter."

Mitch nodded and then pulled out something from his saddle bag. A pair of binoculars he always carried with him whenever he left the ranch. He handed them to Amy.

"Here", he said, assuming Amy knew better what to look out for since she was more familiar with the herd.

"Thanks."

The woman accepted the binoculars and peered through them to see if the horses looked healthy or if they needed any help.

Meanwhile, Mitch waited and looked around. It felt like he was back to his element and he was already feeling so much better for it mentally. The man knew he had to take it easy, but at least this type of trail ride was possible for him for now.

Maybe he could be out of Melanie's hair soon, Mitch thought to himself, and go back to the trailer. The conditions would be much more rural than what he had had now in the suburbs, but that was part of the charm of the trailer; that he had to work for simple things so many people took for advantage.

"They seem fine", Amy then reported with some relief in her voice. "Thanks for these." She handed the binoculars back to Mitch, who took them and put them back to his bag.

"So is this where they always hang out?" Mitch asked, wanting to get to know more about these surroundings. Wild horses fascinated him, they were almost like the poster animal for this part of the world, in some ways. He could recall him and Amy going after this one stallion last year and the spot had been the same back then too.

"Not always, but often, yes", Amy confirmed. "I know they are wild, and some people think they should be left alone, and I do respect that, but at the same time, knowing they are here - especially so close to my land - I kind of feel responsible for them in some ways. I can't just not check up on them every now and then, especially when the winter gets so cold. I want to make sure they are doing okay."

She steered Spartan around now that they had seen the herd was fine.

"Wait... your land?" Mitch checked he had heard right. "You have your own land?" He followed Amy with Maverick, eventually catching up with Spartan so they could ride side by side.

"Yeah, Grandpa gifted it to me last year", Amy confirmed. "Lou has the Dude Ranch land, I got my few acres here, and eventually Georgie and Katie will have their share too. 600 acres is a lot, and Grandpa's planning to leave it to the family."

"Huh... I didn't know that", Mitch replied, then realizing that it made sense that Lou had had the land that was now occupied by Dude Ranch since it was her project. "So what are you planning to do with the land? Build a house?" he guessed.

"I don't know... I haven't really thought about it", Amy admitted. "Especially because my life has been in turmoil since around the time Grandpa gave the land to me. Like, I don't know what I'm going to do with my life overall, since most of my plans were connected to Ty and all of those ideas are now out of the window, so I don't know what I would do with the land. Maybe I'll just save it for the horses."

"Well, they'll be happy to be getting that spot to themselves until you do, I'm sure", Mitch commented, smiling a little bit. "It's a beautiful spot. I mean, Dude Ranch is too, but that view... That's definitely one of the best in the whole Alberta."

"I think so too, but maybe I'm a little biased", Amy smiled and glanced at Mitch. "I guess I'm just happy to be at Heartland, for the time being. I've just always pictured myself there and that hasn't changed."

They rode in silence for a while until Amy got curious.

"What about you? What's your plan? Are you gonna live in that trailer for forever?" she asked, because she knew something about living in a trailer for few months after her wedding and looking back, the conditions had been okay temporarily, but she couldn't imagine living like that for years, like Mitch had.

"You say that like living in a trailer is a bad thing", Mitch replied, teasing Amy, as he was aware how most people felt about it. It wasn't glamorous. "Have you ever tried it?"

"Unfortunately, I have. It's not for me", Amy said. "I mean, at the time I was happy to try that kind of independence, but the novelty wore off pretty soon. Broken heaters, cold showers... Let's just say I'm happy to have my loft."

It wasn't that she was one of those so-called "high maintenance" women, but she still preferred to be living comfortably and especially now with Lyndy, it was just so much easier to have everything easily available.

Mitch nodded, understanding Amy's side.

"I guess I'm kind of used to it. No, I didn't grow up living in a trailer, our family had the farm, but I've always liked to spent most of my days outside. And my dad and I liked to camping a lot, sometimes even during winters. He taught me about the nature and how to survive in the wilderness, so I guess it sort of comes out naturally to me these days, too. Living in the trailer... it's not that far removed from nature, I'd say. And maybe I miss going camping a little", he admitted, "doing all those things with my dad, but... it's not the same anymore."

Amy looked at him, wondering if something had changed. The man's face was serious, maybe a little bittersweet, even.

"What happened...?" Amy asked carefully.

Mitch signed. "My mom's life changed, as you know", he explained, making a nod to the time he had shared with Amy that his mother had had a stroke just before he had got back home from his last tour. "So my dad sold the farm and focused on her, which I totally get. She is the love of his life, his everything, almost. So, no more camping trips. Which I'm not bitter about, just... miss them", the man wanted to explain.

"I get that. Makes me understand the trailer thing better now", Amy admitted.

"I mean, I'm not going to live in a trailer for forever, I know that already", Mitch wanted to add, "but for now it's fine for me. I already know I want to have a house one day, preferably even help building it, but there's so many things that need to happen before I get there, you know."

"Oh? Like?" Amy asked, wanting to get to know Mitch better.

"Well, I would hopefully share that house with someone", Mitch explained, "and take into consideration what they want to have. Because I just don't want it to be _my_ house, but _our_ house, you know. I know it might be kind of sappy, but I don't know, I guess I always had this idea of my wife and I building a life together, so that would include the home, too. That way it'll be more personal. Because my dad inherited the farm from his parents, and I know it pained him to sell it, but it was really only painful for him. My mom... well, it's kind of classic "a farmer finds a wife" story. My mom made the farm a home, but she was never that typical farmer's wife, if you know what I mean. She didn't hate it, but her dreams were elsewhere, and I think my dad only realized it later on. So when my mother suffered the stroke, my dad took it as a sign, of sorts", he continued, "that their lives had to change, for her."

"What about you? Didn't you want the farm?" Amy asked.

"Not really", Mitch answered, "and I know that might sound weird to you - knowing your relationship with Heartland - but I was more at home outside, our family house was just... a house, in a way. And I wasn't prepared to take over the farm, the cattle, on my own, especially. Besides, back then, I was thinking of pursuing my Power Engineering job, but that's when Jack found me. Like I've said, so many things changed when I went overseas; I came back as a different man. And now, it seems like life kind of knows where to take me, even when I don't."

Amy nodded, but hummed then. "I wish I had that faith in life. So far it has given me almost more than I can handle. It would be nice to have a plan to follow, so I would feel more in charge."

"Well, you have your business", Mitch pointed out, trying to make Amy see she wasn't completely lost. "And Lyndy."

"But barely any clientele. I've dropped off the radar", Amy scoffed, feeling like a failure. "Which isn't entirely life's fault, I just... I haven't been able to make a decision yet because I guess I'm scared. I don't know which way to take. Do I continue on my own or do I include someone else in my life?"

Mitch listened. "What about it scares you?"

"Getting burned again, for one", Amy admitted, shrugging a little. "And Cass offered to have this partnership with me - to which I want to say yes to, but I keep fearing it will somehow fail. Or I will fail her."

"Maybe you should talk to Cass about that?" Mitch suggested. "Don't only think her as a potential partner, but as your friend. I'd think that's a better place to start before the whole business aspect. Like, where are you with your friendship. Do you trust her, does she trust you? Figure that out first."

Amy nodded, thinking it might be the right move. "Yeah, I think I'll do that. Thanks, Mitch."

"Anytime", Mitch replied with a smile.


	86. Chapter 86

"Would you like a refill?" Sloane, the waitress at Maggie's, asked from Cassandra who had already drank her first cup while waiting on Amy. The vet looked around and then checked the time, wondering if something had happened and if she should call Amy to make sure everything was alright, but before she could do that, there was a waitress who needed an answer from her.

"Sure", she finally said and leaned back so the cup could be refilled.

It wasn't like she was in a hurry, Cassandra thought, as this was a rare day off for her. That was why it had been nice that Amy had invited her at Maggie's for a coffee as it was so unusual for either of them to really have time for their friends outside their daily routines.

Cassandra then flipped her phone to her hand from the table and was about to look up Amy's number, when the bell by the door rang and it caught her attention.

In walked a blushing single mother - who looked like she had just ran a marathon - and her daughter who was looking around suspiciously as she mostly spent her time at home with her family and not surrounded by strangers.

"Hey, Amy", Sloane greeted her as she was heading back to the counter with her coffee pot. "Lunch or coffee?"

"Coffee, please. And a strawberry milkshake for Lyndy", Amy said and then gestured toward Cassandra who had reserved them seats. "We're with her."

"Alright", Sloane said and went to get her a cup and a milkshake for the girl.

"Hey, sorry, I know I'm late", Amy said as she walked toward Cassandra with Lyndy and a bag.

"I was just about to call you", Cassandra told her. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just reminded why I rarely go out anymore", Amy explained as she helped Lyndy on one of the chairs and then put the bag down. "Before, I could just grab my phone and my wallet and be good to go. Now I have to have million other things for Lyndy to make sure it'll be smooth sailing with her out in the public. We left the ranch, and I noticed half-way here that I had forgotten her favourite toy, and it just..." She sighed, sitting down herself. "I had to go and get it so she wouldn't start screaming."

"It's okay. I'm not in a hurry", Cassandra assured, not wanting Amy to feel guilty about having to deal with motherhood alone. She understood that it was a lot to deal with and there were things that she had to take into consideration now. "I'm just happy to see you both. - Hey, little angel!" she started cooing to Lyndy who seemed a little bit shy around her and kept trying to lean toward her mother to seek comfort.

Amy supported her daughter with her extended arm so the girl wouldn't fall off the chair and noticed that Lyndy didn't think Cassandra as a familiar. She was hoping Cassandra, as a Lyndy's godmother, wouldn't take an offence from it.

"Sorry, she has this phase", Amy told, feeling the need to explain. "With anyone who hasn't spend a lot of time with her. I really should socialize her more..."

Cassandra smiled. "Ah, it's okay. I mean... when was the last time we saw each other? When I went to Vancouver with her? It's been months. And even then she didn't really see me because I was sat on the front and she was at the back with Ty. I should come and hang out more."

"Oh, I didn't mean it like that", Amy corrected, realizing her comment had probably seemed like a criticism.

Cassandra waved her hand dismissively.

"I know. But it's true. I've been so busy with work, and you and I have only seen each other when I've been checking up on Bruni - and that's when Lyndy's been with Lisa and Jack", she pointed out. "Speaking of... You remember I'm coming tomorrow to check up on the horse, right?"

"I do." Amy nodded. "That is also kind of the point. I wanted to meet you outside that setting - even though it's kind of about that too. I mean, I would like to talk to you about the partnership thing." She felt butterflies in her stomach from the nervousness as she didn't know which way this would go, especially since it required opening up a little.

"Oh...?" Cassandra said, sounding pleasantly surprised. "I had thought maybe you had already made up your mind about that."

Sloane then brought Lyndy her milkshake and the girl's eyes lit up and suddenly it was all she could see. Amy helped her with the straw, and when it seemed like Lyndy was happy with that, she looked back to Cassandra as Sloane poured her her coffee.

"Well... I kind of have now, finally. I'm sorry it's taken me so long, I guess I just had to think it through", Amy explained.

"Of course, I get that", Cassandra said, wanting Amy to know she was in no pressuring her into it, but it was something she would be excited about if Amy was willing to give it a try. "Partnerships shouldn't be accepted lightly."

"Thanks", Amy thanked Sloane before she left and then continued her conversation with Cassandra. "Well, from a professional point of view it makes total sense. I need a vet to help me out, and Scott has of course always been very helpful, but ever since Ty sort of took over his position at Heartland, Scott's been focused on other clients. But now that Ty is no longer around, I need to have that working relationship again, especially because my plan is still continue to help horses and I need to be able to rule out if the problem with their issue is medical or behavioral as quickly as possible. The problem is, Scott still has all his clients and he is still just as busy, as you probably know, but I need a vet who I can work closely with. I can't ask him to fit me in just because... well, my previous partnership didn't work out. Thankfully I have you, and working with you on this Bruni case has been good. I've gotten to see how things could work for us if we were officially partners."

"Well, for what it's worth; I've really enjoyed it", Cassandra revealed. "I know we haven't always seen eye to eye on some things, but I feel like we've come to understand each other a bit better. Not only as friends but also as professionals. I've come to respect your craft."

"And I've come to trust your judgement more", Amy said on her behalf. It was no secret for either of them that Amy had not thought much of Cassandra's opinions since she had not really been around horses that much in the past and her background had been mostly theoretical. It was actually kind of how they had started off in the first place; arguing about how to best treat a horse. To think they were here now - talking about a partnership - would have probably stunned anyone who had been there at Caleb's trailer by the fire pit to listen to their discussion about the topic.

"I know it probably wasn't easy", Cassandra admitted. "Especially after the Jeremy thing."

Amy was kind of surprised Cassandra didn't tip-toe around the subject, but actually acknowledged it and admitted it was part of her past, whether she was proud of it or not. But maybe that was exactly why Amy had come to respect Cassandra more and more over the years; she wasn't pretending to be something she wasn't and she was always honest.

"And I understand if that's what's making you hesitant about this whole thing. I know what I did was pretty much unforgivable and I'm not mad at people if they still want to hold that against me. I mean, I made my decision then and I have to live with that now even if it doesn't reflect who I am now. I'm lucky Scott was willing to give me a second change and I've been able to prove that I've changed and I'm smarter and not so easily swayed anymore, but I can't expect that from everyone", Cassandra explained. She knew Scott had his troubled past too and that was probably why he had so much empathy for people who wanted to make things right. But even he had his limits, and Cassandra wasn't about to abuse that trust Scott had given her. Never again. "Working with me occasionally is probably okay, but partnership is another thing. That's your reputation on the line too. People might not want to work with you if they see you're working with me. That's just the reality I have to accept."

"I get that and I haven't forgotten what you did, but it's also in the past", Amy said, taking a sip from her coffee after blowing into the mug. "But it's not why I needed time to think. I had my own issues to deal with that had nothing to do with you."

"Oh?" Cassandra asked, listening to Amy.

"Well, first of all, I wanted to be sure that this wasn't just going to be another case of runaway partner", Amy began, "but you said to me earlier that it won't be. And maybe I'm crazy or maybe I know you to be honest, but I choose to trust you when you said you would be committed to this. I know how much you have to lose. I do too, and I think that's why we understand each other. You said something about you feeling like this town gave you a second chance and now you want to repay their trust. I respect that."

Cassandra smiled a little. "Well, it's true. I don't take it for granted. Who knows where I would be if it wasn't for people like Scott and all of our clients that were willing to give me a second chance. I'd be an idiot to throw that away."

"Secondly..." Amy continued. This was the harder part. "I guess I just wanted to make sure that you'd get the best partner you could get."

Cassandra frowned. "What do you mean...? Are you talking about... you?"

"Yeah. I am", Amy nodded. "I've been really struggling with my self-esteem after some things that have happened to me and what's been said to me... and so I started doubting myself. I guess that's part of the reason why I've been kind of disliking the whole "Miracle Girl" title too. Lately... I've not been feeling like it. I've been trying to think why anyone would bring their horse to me. I'm nothing miraculous. So, I didn't want to tie you to it and drag you down with me. Maybe I won't have as many clients as you think we could. I haven't had them a lot lately and I'm only just getting back on my feet. I really needed to think about that, especially after what you said about you getting a second chance here in Hudson. I don't want to ruin that for you. I know how hard you've worked to be in the position you are."

"Well... that's nice of you, but you're also stupid for thinking that", Cassandra said, which caused a reaction in Amy, based on her facial expression. "Do you really think I would have changed my mind about you after we first met if you weren't anything miraculous? Sorry, but I'm not impressed by plain people. Amy, I don't think the lack of clients has anything to do with your gift as much as it does with you having a baby and having to deal with some other things these past few years - which is why we're sitting here in the first place. If you think I'm asking you to be a partner with me because I'm desperate and I just need someone, anybody, then you are wrong. I wouldn't be asking you if I didn't think you're the coolest person I've ever met and what you do with horses is miracles. And, more importantly, I wouldn't be asking you if I wouldn't think we could make so much more together by uniting our skills."

Amy was stunned. _This was a compliment... right?_

"Also, you gotta stop thinking that your failures are your personality traits. Do you think I would have gotten here if I would have let what happened with Jeremy to define me? Absolutely not. I succeeded _in spite_ of it. Sure, I got some help from people, but I also got a lot of crap and faced dead ends because of it, but I still managed to carve my out of that hole. And now I'm happier than ever. I'm more than my failure", Cassandra said. "So whatever anyone has done to you or said to you - succeed in spite of it."

"You're right..." Amy admitted after thinking about it for a while. She then looked Cassandra in the eyes with much more determination. "And this is why I would be interested in the partnership, if you still have me, that is. Because I can trust your honesty and that is exactly what I need right now in my life."

Cassandra started smiling widely. "Of course I will still have you. Like I said, I wasn't going to just ask anybody."

"Okay", Amy replied with enthusiasm she hadn't felt in a while. "Do you think we could make some arrangements tomorrow after you've come to - hopefully - clear Bruni?"

"Sure. I'll bring some papers too", Cassandra promised. "And I'll talk to Scott."

The bell by the door chimed again and at first Amy didn't really pay attention to it, since people walked in and out all the time, but the figure of the person walking in and the long blonde hair made her realize it was someone she knew.

Ashley Stanton stood in the doorway and walked to the counter to get herself a cup of coffee. She had a long beige coat on and a designer bag hanging on her arm as she browsed through her phone while she placed the order.

In some ways she reminded Amy of Lou every time she came home from New York as "the vibe" of the city always lingered on her for a while until she got settled back to the ranch. But it seemed like with Ashley, it had all gotten more root. Not that Ashley had ever really been as "country" as her, but she seemed so out of place here - which was ironic, since the now-lawyer had actually once worked here as a waitress.

"What is it...?" Cassandra asked when she noticed Amy's petrified look.

"It's... it's someone I used to know", Amy explained, wondering if she should hide or just say hi. Few days ago, she would have probably been just as surprised to see Ashley, but for a different reason. Now she knew, thanks to Tim, that Ashley was in town to look into Ty's case which caused Amy to have a lot of mixed feelings.

"Amy...?" Ashley then noticed her before Amy could make up her mind about how to go about this. At first Ashley looked just as stunned as her, but pretty soon her lips curled into a familiar smirk as she walked over to her and put her phone away almost as if she had been caught in the middle of something. "Hey... It's been a while. - Look at you, still here, hanging at Maggie's like you used to! And I see you got your sight back", she commented as Amy's eyes were wide and directed at her, "you know, since the last time I was here was when... well, you had your accident." She shrugged, realizing Amy didn't probably need the recap because it wasn't like she had lost her memory in the accident with the horse that had kicked her in the head.

"Yeah..." Amy nodded. "Though... we didn't meet then, right? Since I was in the hospital. So... I haven't seen you in a long time. Probably not since you left to Italy", Amy stuttered, feeling awkward. She noticed from the corner of her eye that Cassandra was looking at Ashley and Amy wondered if she had counted the two and two together. "This is Cassandra", Amy introduced her then, not wanting to seem rude.

"Hi, Cassandra, I'm Ashley. Nice to meet you-" Ashley said, then realizing. "Wait, you look familiar? Have we met?" she asked, but it was rhetorical because immediately she continued. "Oh no, we haven't, but I think you used to date my brother, but then you cheated him with my ex. And now you're married to Caleb, right?" she continued with a nasty tone which made Amy a little bit mad.

It seemed like the old Ashley was back...

"Oh... Right. _That_ Ashley", Cassandra finally figured it out as well and smiled through clenched teeth. They had never met while she had been dating Jesse because Ashley had always been in Vancouver, but she had seen her in the pictures Jesse had had in the office walls with her and their mother. It was uncomfortable as it was to meet the sister of one of her exes, but also one of the exes of her husband at the same time, but Cassandra wouldn't let that break her as she knew these type of people and how to deal with them.

"And Little Lyndy", Ashley then pointed her attention to the girl who smiled at her kindly, which to Amy seemed a little off, especially considering the fact that just some minutes earlier the girl had been shy around Cassandra, her own godmother, but now she seemed to suddenly be okay with a stranger. "What you got there? A milkshake? The strawberry ones are the best here, but I also always liked the chocolate too!"

For some reason this type of interaction unnerved Amy and she wasn't sure why. She decided to drag the attention back to her, maybe in order to shield Cassandra from the lingering awkwardness as well.

"I heard you are representing Ty with his case."

Ashley then snapped back to Amy from the mention of Ty and nodded. The word really traveled fast here, but then again after talking to Amy's father just couple days ago, it wasn't that surprising to Ashley that the news had reached Amy, too.

"I am. Which reminds me; I've been meaning to call you. I would like to come for a visit and go over your eye witness statement. Are you free tomorrow?" she asked.

Amy had known that she would play some kind of part in this whole thing due to her statement, but she would have preferred to go over it with someone who she had no history with to make it a little less neutral, but of course Ty had had to mix Ashley into this, seeing she was one of the few lawyers he knew and who was willing to work pro bono for him.

"Tomorrow's not good", Amy said, "maybe day after that?" she suggested, not looking forward to it, but also wanting to get it over with so hopefully things would move forward and she would be free to move on with her life.

"Let me check", Ashley said, pulling out the phone from her pocket. "Yeah, I can put you in. How about... one o'clock?"

"That'll do", Amy said, putting that down in her head.

"Miss, your coffee is ready", Sloane said from the desk, and Ashley looked over her shoulder, giving the waitress a nod.

"Okay. I'll see you day after tomorrow, one o'clock", Ashley said. "Bye, Lyndy."

She turned around, paid her coffee and grabbed it before leaving outside and put on sunglasses just as she stepped outside. It almost felt like she had three hands to do it all as she did it with such grace and smoothness that Amy could hardly follow with her gaze.

"Well, that was awkward..." Cassandra noted.

"Tell me about it..." Amy said, feeling almost breathless after what had just happened. "Sorry about that. If she hadn't known me, maybe she wouldn't have come over."

"It's okay, those kind of people don't scare me", Cassandra replied, even though she was still blushed from annoyance still. "At least now that's over with. - I wonder if Caleb knows she's in town..."

"If he doesn't, he will soon, since Ashley has to speak to him about his statement", Amy said, thinking what a mess of personal affairs this was.

"Right, I didn't even think about that", Cassandra sighed, pausing for a while."I mean, I knew Caleb has been married before, but I sort of didn't think about that since she wasn't even around here, so it didn't really matter, but... I'm just wondering what do I have to deal with when she's done with him and his statement. Is he going to be a mess? He's always told me she completely broke his heart when they divorced", she wondered out loud, knowing Caleb to be pretty sensitive.

"Could be. I mean, their divorce wasn't handled well", Amy said, putting it mildly, "and when she came back few years ago, she did a number on him by messing with his feelings", she continued, wanting to be honest with Cassandra even though it probably didn't help her to feel better about it.

"And you used to be friends with this person, right? At least that's what I've gathered", Cassandra asked. She just couldn't see it with Amy's personality.

"Yeah... But she was kind of different. I guess she's back to her old self now", Amy admitted, not seeing them hanging out anymore.

Even if she was somewhat mad at Caleb for being stupid around Ty with the whole Mitch thing, Amy still didn't want anything bad for Caleb - and that bad included Ashley. Hopefully, since she was now working, Ashley knew to act professionally around him, and Caleb wouldn't be too tormented.

Then again, how professional had her run-in with Ashley just been...

"Well, I have to talk to Caleb about it", Cassandra said, wanting to be aware of the state of her husband's mental state of mind. "Speaking of which... has he called you? He said he'd called you and apologize."

Amy shook her head. "No. He hasn't."

Cassandra sighed.

"Looks like Ashley is not going to be the only one he has to deal with when he gets home..." she said, indicating that Caleb would have to answer to her about not calling to Amy as well. It was starting to become embarrassing how far he was willing to drag it out because he was so ashamed about what he had played part in.


	87. Chapter 87

**A/N: _I'm no expert in law and I understand I have taken some liberties in order to write a story that is supposed to be for entertainment purposes, so just keep that in mind. It's not that serious._**

* * *

Before Amy, Jack, Lisa and Lyndy were getting ready to have dinner that night, Amy was trying to reach her lawyer so she could ask her to join her for Ashley's visit the day after tomorrow. While getting the table ready, both Jack and Lisa kept an eye on her as she seemed a little nervous about this whole situation.

Even though Ashley was only going to come and go over her statement concerning the testimony, Amy still had a strange feeling about the whole deal. In a way she was thankful the meeting was going to happen in a familiar location, so maybe that would help her feel a little less nervous compared to something more corporate, like an office, but at the same time it somehow felt a little threatening for Ashley to come at Heartland - and she wasn't sure why. Amy knew Ashley cared about Ty not only as a client, but as a friend too, and that would probably bring more ammunition to her way of dealing with this. Amy wasn't sure if Ashley was somehow going to establish "her dominance" over her by entering into her space and what this whole thing was about.

Even though the unbiased reality was that Mitch had been assaulted by Ty, Amy knew that in court, facts weren't just facts and nothing was even so straight-forward when it came to crimes and law. It was how you told the story that mattered more. Even guilty people could get off the hook if they had right people working for them. It remained to be seen how Ashley would handle it all.

For Amy, it was a mystery how some lawyers could work for people they knew to be guilty. But maybe it wasn't so much about if they believed the client to be guilty or not rather than they wanted them to have a fair trial. Amy hoped Ty would get a fair trial, which also meant that the punishment should fit the crime, not only because it was the right thing to do but also possibly something that could change the course of Ty's life.

Despite what she believed in herself - which was fairness - Amy had no idea how Ashley would see all this. Knowing her personally, she expected Ashley to be somewhat ruthless as she would try her best to get what she needed in order to help Ty with the claims that were made about him.

Amy could do her part and be happy with the statement she had given, but she also realized it was not everything Ashley could use to play the story in Ty's favour.

There was also another witness, Caleb Odell, Ashley's ex-husband and Ty's old friend. The combination alone could break it or make it, aside from what had actually happened. Even though the law expected Caleb to deliver the truth - and nothing but the truth - who knew how personal feelings would come into play since it was Caleb Ashley was gonna have to deal with.

Amy figured Caleb's statement might play even bigger part in the whole case than hers, despite the fact that she had witnessed the assault, but she still figured that a lawyer present wouldn't be overly-cautious, especially given the circumstances and the personal relationships Amy had with both Ty and Ashley. If Ashley was shameless enough, she might play that into Ty's favour, too.

She just hoped the real reason why this was all happening wouldn't get lost in the mess; Mitch deserved justice. Mitch deserved to feel safe.

As Amy put down her phone and sighed, Lisa sensed something was wrong.

"Well...?" the older woman asked.

"It was my lawyer's secretary. Diana's out of town, some family emergency apparently", Amy explained, looking at Lisa with almost a defeated facial expression. "I don't know why I even agreed to meet Ashley so fast without consulting my lawyer first. I guess I just wanted this to be over with..."

"That's what lawyers do; they intimidate you", Lisa said, tossing the salad in the bowl to make it more airy, "and I have no doubt that was Ashley's goal as well. She was probably counting on you to not have a lawyer present when she comes for a visit."

"I wouldn't put it past her", Amy admitted. She then sighed again. "What do I do now? I'm not gonna talk to her without a lawyer present, especially considering my circumstances with Ty. She wants to save Ty, even if it means crushing me. - I guess I just have to reschedule..."

"No, don't do that just yet", Lisa said, then stopping what she was doing so she could get her phone. "I have a great family lawyer who should be in town... I could give him a call."

"Are you sure...?" Amy asked.

"Of course - you're family", Lisa replied, topping her promise with a smile. "I'll call him right away. It's better to deal with this as soon as possible so you can focus on other things."

Amy felt relieved. She was lucky to have someone like Lisa in her life who had connections and knew how to handle situations like this. "Thanks, Lisa. You're the best."

As Lisa took her phone call to the side, Amy helped Jack set the table for them while Lyndy was already sat on the table and eating carrots.

"I still can't believe Ty hired Ashley as his lawyer... I would have rather have to deal with someone I don't know", Amy mumbled. "Then again, I _can_ believe it... He knows she can be shameless when she wants to."

Jack listened Amy's concerns.

"Don't worry about that too much. You just stay focused, tell the truth and that's it. That's all you can do. The rest... well, it's not up to you", he offered his advice. "Mitch has his lawyer, and Ty has his. At the end of the day, it's for them to deal with. It's just unfortunate you got caught in the middle of all this..."

"Yeah..." Amy nodded, trying to keep that in mind. "At least Ashley isn't handling our divorce too, that could have been messy..." She rolled her eyes, just thinking about it all.

Lisa then came back with a promising look on her face. She put her phone away, and Amy turned to look at her. "Daniel promised to do it. You said one o'clock, right?"

"Yeah", Amy nodded and smiled with relief. "Thanks, Lisa."

"He'll come a little bit earlier, just so you can fill him in about the details so he knows what he's dealing with and can do his best to protect you", Lisa explained. "I can look after Lyndy while you're handling it."

While Amy was appreciative, she also felt a little bit guilty for causing such a trouble for Lisa. "Are you sure? I honestly don't know how to thank you..."

"Well, I actually have a thing in mind..." Lisa said as they were getting seated and ready to eat. "Dan and I invested in this great stallion we're hoping to use for breeding purposes. He comes from a great lineage, and I really think he can be the one to save Fairfield as soon as I can start selling his offspring."

"Okay", Amy said, listening. "That sounds great. What seems to be the problem then?"

"Like I said, he's amazing, but a bit... explosive", Lisa described as she took some salad on her plate. "We had "a situation" just the other day and eventually we decided it would be in the best interest of the mare to call if off before anything would happen. Dan just wants to drug him in order to calm him down, but I don't like that idea. So I was wondering if there is any other, natural way to help him to stay calm so he won't hurt the mares while they're... well, _you know_."

"Are you sure that's safe?" Jack jumped in to the conversation. "For Amy. Is the stallion even safe to approach, let alone be alone in the pen with?"

"I can handle it", Amy wanted to express her own opinions, even though she appreciated the concern. "I've handled explosive horses before."

Jack looked at Amy. "You mean, like Alcatraz...?"

His tone was enough to tell Amy that Jack wanted to remind her that he had told the horse had been too dangerous for her to work with and eventually he had been proven right when Amy had hurt herself with him.

"Yes, like Alcatraz", Amy said, without wanting to be patronized. "He turned out fine. Ask Bryce, if you don't believe me."

Jack scoffed. "Yeah, eventually. But do I need to remind you that you got hurt?"

"No need to remind me, I can remember it myself", Amy said, putting food on Lyndy's plate. "But every horse is a lesson. Now I know better." She then looked at Lisa. "I can definitely take a look at him. Maybe some herbs and oils could be useful. They're more natural way to help him feel calm."

"That's amazing", Lisa was pleased to hear. "I'll tell Dan."

"Speaking of work. - Grandpa... I know this might not be your favourite subject to talk about, but..." Amy continued as she helped Lyndy with her juice. Jack could barely wait what this was going to be about with Amy starting it like this. "Cassandra and I are thinking about partnering up which means I might get more clients soon. Working with Bruni has made me realize even more how unpractical the barn is and how we need to expand-"

"I've said no", Jack spoke before Amy could finish. He knew what she was about to say and he already knew his answer too.

"I know, but why wouldn't you be willing to reconsider it?" Amy wanted to know.

Jack saw it as self-explanatory. "Things have worked out just fine like this, haven't they? I don't see any reason to expand."

Amy sighed and stared at Jack. It was easy for him to say that when he wasn't the one trying to become as creative and as efficient as possible to be able to house all the client horses into four stalls. She needed to prove her point.

"Bruni might be cleared tomorrow, but I was talking to her owner, and we agreed it would be best if she could stay here for a little while so she doesn't have to go back to home and be isolated right away - again. She needs balance. But that means I'm going to need a stall for her for the time being", Amy explained.

"Well, you can take Harley's old stall", Jack offered a solution.

"It belongs to Maverick now", Amy reminded.

"Mitch should be back to normal soon, he can take Maverick to the Dude Ranch", Jack continued, hoping Amy would just drop it. Clearly there was a way to solve all this, but Amy just wanted easy solutions.

"Okay, yeah, that may be, but... it shouldn't have to be this hard. What happens when I get more clients? When I need them to be isolated? More than one at the time? We should have more room, it's just easier that way", Amy continued, not wanting to drop this. She had already done that once - after Europe - and now she was wondering where they would be if they had just expanded then and there. She might have come up with a different, smarter business plan if she had been able to house more clients when her name had been on everyone's lips.

"If I may..." Lisa wanted to express her point of view, seeing she had some experience about this. "I know it's your barn, Jack, but it's Amy's business. I can definitely see where she's coming from. If she wants to have more clients and make a better system for herself, she's going to need a space where everything works out better. Especially since she does most of the work alone. She doesn't have time to arrange everything around four stalls."

Amy appreciated Lisa's support, more than she probably knew.

Jack looked at Lisa, a little bit disappointed yet not surprised she was willing to back up Amy on this. "You two are ganging up on me?"

"It's not what this is about", Lisa sighed. Sometimes Jack was behaving childishly. Maybe Tim was rubbing off on him... "I just know that recently you expressed that when the time comes, Amy should have the ranch, so... why is it so hard for you to listen to what she has to say? She's the future of this ranch, after all", she made a nod about the conversation they had had before Jack had gone and meet Ty at the Hanley place.

"Well, she can make the changes when we get there without having to consult me - but we are not there yet", Jack explained, shoving a piece of potato into his mouth. "It might sound nice in theory, but do you have any idea how much that'll cost?"

"Of course it'll cost something - a lot - but you have to spend a little to earn more", Lisa replied. "It's just business 101, I'm sure you can understand that."

Amy listened to the couple argue, wondering if she would ever get the space she needed in order to have the business she had always wanted. It seemed like it was just going to happen, not at Heartland.

"I get that, but if that's Amy's plan for her business, shouldn't she be the one paying it then?" Jack said. Amy looked at her plate, already knowing where this was heading. "And does she have the money? As far as I know, she doesn't. Not that much, at least. So, that's why I get to have the last word."

If Lisa wouldn't have been dealing with her own money problems as it was, she would have offered to invest into Amy's business right there and then, but since she couldn't promise Amy that, they both stayed quiet and submitted to Jack's will.


	88. Chapter 88

The next day, Amy was cleaning out the Quonset hut when he saw her father, Tim, walking out from the ranch house where he had gone earlier to talk to Jack. They had only waved at each other across the yard as Amy had walked from the barn to the hut to get started while Tim had went inside the house. It had seemed like her dad had had something important to discuss and it couldn't have waited.

Coming back now, Tim didn't seem as excited as he had been when he had gone in. It looked like after talking to Jack, he was partly annoyed but also to some extent disappointed. It wasn't necessarily a surprise the two men would bicker about something and it would affect their moods, but this time Amy had no idea what was going on. Thankfully Tim was making his way to Amy, so she could have a chance to talk to him.

"Hey, what's all this?" Tim asked when he came to see what Amy was doing.

"Oh, Cassandra just cleared one of my client horses. The one from Iceland I've been keeping separated from the herd", she explained, pointing toward the paddock where Bruni was now spending her time.

The mare was slowly getting to know her surroundings and the herd before Amy would allow the horses to interact more. Just now, giving a chance for Bruni to listen and see the others not too far away was enough to deal with as they didn't know each other yet, and Amy wanted to avoid any type of predisposing to problems or stress. Merging horses into one wasn't always seamless, but it could be done with patience and time. Now that Bruni was going to stick around for a little while longer, Amy had that luxury on her side.

When Bruni had finally been let out, Amy had seen a completely different horse than before and that was also important to take into consideration since she would have to observe the mare even more, to really know the layers of the animal now that she was in a much more natural environment.

"Oh, yeah. Looks like she's doing well. Great job", Tim complimented Amy, even though he had - of course - had faith in her all this time. "Do you need help with all this?"

Amy was pleasantly surprised by the offer. "Sure, why not. I wouldn't mind."

"Let me give you a hand then", Tim said, taking his working gloves from the back pocket of his jeans where he kept them in case there was a need to fix something. As a rancher and a cowboy, there usually was. "Is Jade around?"

"Yeah, she is. She's with Lyndy in the loft. Why?" Amy asked as they started taking down the temporary stall Amy and Mitch had built for the horse weeks earlier.

"Ah, just got some news to share for her", Tim explained. "And for you too actually."

"What is it?"

"Well... I just sold Big River", Tim confessed.

Amy stopped what she was doing.

"What...? What... does that mean? I mean... are you leaving somewhere, too?" she asked a series of questions since this was all coming out of nowhere. It seemed like these days, everyone was leaving and she was one of the few sticking around.

"I'm not leaving Hudson, if that's what you're asking", Tim corrected, "but I'm moving. I just figured it was time for a change. I mean, Casey and I have been talking about moving in for a while now, and it just made sense to sell Big River because... well, we're too busy to have a place like that to ourselves with me having the rodeo school, the business with Jack and Mitch and now more responsibility with Maggie's as well with Lou in New York. And when Casey's not travelling, she is teaching kids to barrel race. The point is; we are busy. We basically only need a bed, a bathroom and a kitchen to use every once in a while, not a whole ranch. But Casey also wants to have a house, not just a trailer. So it made sense to have a smaller place."

"Okay..." Amy said, letting her father know she was somewhat understanding of the reasoning, even though it would take a while for her to get used to. "So, where are you moving then?"

"Closer to the town centre", Tim said, looking at Amy with some concern. He could tell Amy was having some trouble with this, which was to be expected since she was just like Jack when it came to change; she didn't like it. "What's wrong?"

"I... I just... I'm happy for you and I'm glad things are going well with Casey and you're making it work, I just..." she began, trying to make sense of her reaction. "I don't know, I guess I've just come to like the fact that you've lived close-by, that's all."

"I'll still be close by, Amy", Tim reminded, "that's not gonna change. And besides, I bought Big River back in the day so I'd have a better chance to be closer to you girls, maybe even become part of your lives again, but I'm not chasing that goal anymore since we actually have a real father-daughter relationship with you - and Lou - no matter where I am or where you are. Big River was my chance to make things right for us and now I've done it, so... it was time to make things right for me and Casey."

Amy nodded, understanding it better now. "I get it. It's good. I'm happy for you." She even smiled a little bit as she realized just how far her dad had come and how he really had cleaned up his act and made a better life for himself.

"Just wish your grandfather would have been as understanding..." Tim muttered, getting back to work with Amy. "All I got was complains about him not knowing who he will be neighbours with from now on and how this would all affect our business and blah blah blah. Not sure what's with him these days - he's crankier than ever!"

"Good to know it's not just for me then..." Amy scoffed, remembering last night's awkward dinner.

Tim raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean? What's happened?"

"Well, Cassandra and I are partnering up, so I'm really getting back to work for real this time, which means I was sort of hoping I could talk about the expansion of the barn with Grandpa again-"

"Let me guess", Tim said, stopping Amy. "He wasn't happy?" There was a sarcastic look on his face as he said it. It wasn't hard to figure Jack Bartlett out.

Amy nodded. "You know it. - I don't know, I just feel like I take two steps forward and one step back all the time, with everything. It's like I'm never really getting started on anything. It's exhausting."

"Well, here's an idea", Tim offered, "maybe it's time to think about other options; why do your working quarters have to be here at Heartland? I mean, let's face it, as long as Jack's around, he's not going to allow you to make changes to that barn. Remember how much work it took from us to convince him to allow us to alter the loft to make it habitable?"

Amy hummed. "Oh, I remember. I still can't believe he actually approved of it..."

"Yeah, so... find a place from somewhere else", Tim adviced. "There you don't have to play by his rules."

Amy thought about it for a while and in a way she wanted to say no right away, because Heartland had always been the place where she had worked and it had its legacy, but at the same time Amy knew her father to be right; if she wanted to make things better for her business, she couldn't continue at Heartland as it limited her options; she needed bigger place and better working surroundings.

"I mean, I'm hearing what you're saying, but... I also know I just don't have the money. I was kind of hoping adding few stalls would be a more modest start for a change; buying a place is a whole other thing", Amy said. "It's a shame you just sold Big River", she added with a sad smile, even though she didn't know if that would have been any better, seeing the barn there hadn't been that much bigger than Heartland's anyway.

"Doesn't necessarily have to be a shame I sold it", Tim pointed out after a while, "since, you know, I made some money out of it. I could help you out. Not only financially, but to actually look for a place", he added, knowing he had much more experience with that sort of thing and some connections with fellow ranchers who might know good spots. "But of course you'd be making the final decision seeing it'd be your place."

Amy looked at her father, touched by his generosity. "I couldn't ask you to do that..."

"I know it's not like you to ask, but your sister did when she wanted to have the Dude Ranch. And I offered to help when she wanted to buy Maggie's, among other things. Why wouldn't I do the same for you? I love you both just the same", Tim reminded. "Amy, I believe you can do great things and I know you didn't necessarily plan to have this business of yours when you were fifteen, but it's your calling now, it's your life. This place has become too small for your needs and dreams. You deserve to have the chance, just like anybody else, and as your father, I ought to support you, just like I've supported your sister. It's the least I can do. - Besides, it's what Marion would have wanted for you, too."

Feeling speechless, Amy just looked at her dad with teary eyes. It felt so good to have someone in her corner, believing her and her vision and not holding her back. She put down the things from her hands and came to hug Tim. "Thanks, dad... You don't know how much this means to me."

"See? Maybe the universe knew it was time for a change for you too", Tim said, kissing Amy's hair. "We're killing two birds with one stone."

"I could really use some change..." Amy admitted.

"Okay, so I'll start looking", Tim decided then and moved back so he could look at Amy. "What did you have in mind? Meaning, what requirements?"

They then continued working, all while Amy listed things she had noticed the current space was lacking, starting from the number of the stalls to areas where she could better examine the horses and treat them. Even though she listed many things she hoped the place would have, she also wanted to keep her expectations realistic and explained to Tim that as long as the place had enough space, she could make rest of it work, even if it was a bit of a fixer-upper.

While listening to Amy talk, Tim could tell just how much passion Amy had for it all and how she literally transformed from someone hopeless into an enthusiastic horse expert in the span of seconds and it was something Tim was very happy to see.

And not only happy, but proud, too.

Watching Amy grow from a fifteen-year-old girl who had her mother's gift with horses but not much experience, following her instinct, not really paying attention to the business side of it all to now being a real professional, not only because of her knowledge of horses, but also with more understanding of what it meant to make this for a living. Even though Amy had slowly started to understand her worth, she was still very humble and that was something Tim was sure would separate her from a lot of other experts and what was going to be her trademark compared to some other people around this area.

"Sounds like you know what you want", Tim finally said when Amy was done talking.

"Well, I've had years to dream about this stuff", she admitted with a coy smile. "I just never really saw that happening outside Heartland, though."

"Things might not always turn out the way you might have planned, but doesn't mean they would still turn out any worse either", Tim knew from his own experience. "You'll make your place "your new Heartland". And then you couldn't imagine having it any other way."

Amy smiled at the thought. "I hope so."


	89. Chapter 89

_I'm no expert in law and I understand I have taken some liberties in order to write a story that is supposed to be for entertainment purposes, so just keep that in mind. It's not that serious._

* * *

Ever since Ashley Stanton had left Hudson and the Heartland ranch behind about four years ago after visiting her ex-husband Caleb Odell, she had sworn to never come back. There had been no reason for her to come back anymore, knowing for absolute certainty it was all over between her and Caleb. The humiliation and the bitter tears had only made the decision stuck. She had continued her new life in Vancouver, feeling sure that there was nothing in her past worth digging anymore. Her brother and her mother had taken care of the family-owned Briar Ridge Stables, but they barely talked to each other anyway, outside few phone calls and birthday cards.

Then again, the visit to Hudson back in 2013 had also made her realize she had probably been using her then-boyfriend, possibly-future-fiancé and eventually-maybe-husband, Andy, as a rebound, which had resulted into their break-up. Thankfully, the following years she had not had really time to even think about relationships, past or present, because her work had pretty much taken over her whole life.

But now, she drove her BMW through the gates once again to the ranch she had spent most of her life loathing, this time not to visit Caleb, but an old friend, Amy Fleming.

Never in a million years would she had thought to come here again, especially under these circumstances, and after her new-found friendship with Amy's ex, Ty Borden.

Last year, when the man she had mostly come to known as Caleb's friend and Amy's boyfriend had reached out, Ashley had been confused. After a brief discussion on the phone, Ty had explained he had relocated to Vancouver after splitting up with Amy and was looking for people to spend time with whenever he wasn't working. Ty had recalled that Ashley had moved to the seaport city years prior and was wondering if she was still around and free for lunch or dinner.

They had then decided to go for drinks and catch up. It was then that Ty had opened up about his problems with Amy and their decision to get divorced only two years after getting married. It was something Ashley had been able to relate to since her marriage with Caleb had only lasted for a year. Even though at first it had been strange to spend time with Ty with just the two of them, slowly Ashley had come to realize how nice it was actually have a friend from the past who was in some ways in a similar life situation as she was; between relationships and focusing on their work. Maybe that's why they had hit it off so well, much to her surprise.

Weeks could go by without them talking to one another, both of them focusing on their work, but as soon as Ty arrived back to Vancouver from his trips, he would always send her a message and they would meet up. She had come to connect with him in a whole new way.

Everything had been very casual, there had been no pressure one way or another, and the more time had went on, the more it had all made sense. Even though they had been teens back when they had first met, Ashley could remember there had been immediate attraction even back then too, so it made sense that simmering flame had finally turned into a flame now that they were in a much suitable place with their lives.

But it had all had to be put on hold when Ty had called from Alberta, asking for her help when he had been under arrest for an assault.

And that's why she was here now and it was all strictly business.

Thankfully Ashley had grown up with "Hudson's number one bitch", Val Stanton, and because of that she had been able to keep her heart cold while meeting Caleb. It had been a relief to notice there really were no feelings there anymore, even though it was all a bit awkward after the way things had ended the last time, but in a way focusing on her work was the blessing that had helped Ashley to keep a clear mind on the thing that really mattered here; Ty's fate.

Two of the biggest witnesses to the case - the ones that could hold Ty's future in their hands - were his friend and her ex-wife.

Or, well, technically Amy wasn't an ex-wife yet because of Alberta's divorce process that lasted at least a year before the papers could officially be signed. But mentally, Ty and Amy were separated and on their own. Then again, if this story about Amy and the new ranch hand was true and she had committed an adultery, Ty could get out of this relationship faster. That was for his divorce lawyer to find out.

At the same time, Amy could do the same thing, if only she knew about the secret both Ashley and Ty were sitting on. But that would have made Ty look bad and they really couldn't have that kind of scandal before his trial - if it ever went that far, that is. It was best not to rock to boat but instead paint the best picture of Ty Borden she possibly could. And with his record, there was definitely a lot of work to be done... But Ashley had never cowarded from a challenge and this wasn't going to be the first time, especially because it was Ty who needed the help.

With her knowledge of Ty's personal relationships and past, Ashley was able to pick and mix different things to help her build the best cocktail of Ty that would convince the people involved that he had had reason to hit Mitch Cutty on that day. There were traces of damning evidence of violence on Cutty's face about Ty's actions, but that wouldn't have to be the whole case. Maybe Ty and Amy's divorce was a blessing in disguise that was able to help Ty out of this trouble he was in, as it would help her as his lawyer explain the mental burden Ty had been carrying with him ever since things had went South with him and Amy.

Surely people could understand a man in a stressful situation like this who was about to lose it all. Desperate times called for desperate measures. Maybe they would even pity him, if not even feel sorry for him. He was a victim of his own kind.

Ashley knew that realistically speaking things didn't look good. A crime had been committed. What was done was done, but it was her job to build a case that would help Ty get out of it with as little damage as possible.

Caleb's statement was one thing, something that could help Ty enormously since it helped to understand the motivation behind the action, but Amy being there when it had all went down, was another. This visit was going to be crucial for the case and that was exactly why Ashley was back here at this damn ranch and not in some dusty office, trying to get something from Amy that would help her with Ty. This was irony as its finest and for once, Ashley didn't appreciate it.

When Ashley stepped out of her car and grabbed her bag with her, she noticed Amy coming out from the barn office with a man in a suit. The lawyer looked at them for a while and then realized this man was a lawyer as well. It made her let out few low curse words, but eventually she just settled into shaking her head a little, realizing Amy was not going to let her play without any rules. She was going to make sure this was going to go by the book.

How typical of her. She was Amy "Goody Two-Shoes" Fleming after all, and based on everything Ty had told her, she had not changed.

"Hey", Ashley said as she slowly walked toward the duo, giving them a snarky smirk. "I see you've lawyered-up, Amy."

Amy glanced at the man and then decided to introduce them to one another since there was no reason for explaining anymore, it seemed. "Daniel Ackermann. Ashley Stanton."

"Nice to meet you", Ashley said, shaking hands with Mr. Ackermann. She then pulled out her phone from her bag and looked for the audio recorder option. "You don't mind if I record this, do you?" she asked, then noticing Amy's facial expression. She was unsure, so she looked at Daniel again. "So I can play it back in my office while I'm going through the statements", she explained.

"That'll be fine", Daniel replied. This wasn't unusual for situations such as this.

"Alright", Ashley said. "And can you state your names to the recording, please", she asked and brought her phone closer to them.

"Amy Fleming", Amy said.

"And Daniel Ackermann, Ms. Fleming's family lawyer."

"Alright, great", Ashley said, then looking around. "So, let's cut to the chase. Could you show me where the alleged assault took place? You were the eyewitness for it, weren't you, Ms. Fleming?" she asked, even though she knew the answers already, but it was important to state they were all on the same page while talking at this moment.

"I was. - Well, some of it", Amy corrected herself right away as she began to lead the way to the barn so she could show Ashley where she had found Ty and Mitch.

"What do you mean?" Ashley immediately saw a possible opportunity for a little loophole.

"I was upstairs in the loft, getting my daughter ready for her trip to Vancouver with Ty, her father, when I heard noises", Amy explained, going through what had happened that day.

"Noises?" Ashley wanted her to specify.

"It was like... a scuffle", Amy described. "It didn't sound right, so I came downstairs to see what that was about. I knew Mitch was downstairs, since he was working, and I heard truck come in. I remember thinking Ty was early, which was odd, but I thought it wasn't really a big deal; that he would just have to wait while I'd get Lyndy fully ready."

Daniel listened carefully Amy's words and was ready to step in at any moment if it sounded like she could say something that would compromise her position. But so far, any type of intervention was not needed.

"Okay, so... this "scuffle"... What's your understanding of what it was about?" Ashley asked.

"Well, here's where it happened", Amy said as they arrived to the spot. "When I came downstairs, I saw Ty on top of Mitch, and Ty was hitting him. There was... blood on his hand and on Mitch's face as it had cut open", she continued, still trying to shake that image from her mind.

"Blood on whose hand?" Ashley made sure they got the parts right.

"Ty's. He was the one who attacked", Amy added.

"And why do you think he, as you say, attacked?" Ashley asked. "Had something happened? Before this incident? Or maybe there was a conversation that took place when Mr. Borden arrived..."

Amy shook her head. "No. Nothing that would have justified his assault. Besides, Ty didn't really even have any time to say anything before he was already in the barn and assaulting Mitch. He just... attacked, out of the blue."

"But you said he was hitting Mr. Cutty. Surely there had to be a reason", Ashley was trying to squeeze any type of damning words out of Amy's mouth, but Daniel quickly picked that up.

"This is purely speculation and something that should be dealt with your client and Mr. Cutty as they were the only ones involved directly with the situation", he said, making Amy realize how Ashley was trying to lead her into a trap. "Any type of allusion that Ms. Fleming has anything to do with it is-"

"Surely you can understand this could be of use to my client, Mr. Ackermann. This is no secret to anyone here, I'm sure; based on other witnesses and what my client has been telling me, the confrontation wasn't without a reason", Ashley explained. "So I'm just curious to hear Ms. Fleming's take on it, seeing that she is caught in the middle of this all, not only as an eyewitness but also for personal reasons. She has information that could be helpful to understanding the situation."

"Confrontation..." Amy hummed, getting annoyed by the terminology as it clearly showed that Ty still didn't understand the consequences of his actions. "I know that Ty thinks-"

"You shouldn't-" Daniel tried to stop Amy, but she wasn't listening.

"-he knows what's going on, but he doesn't. He hasn't been here to learn the truth. It's because of his own deluded mind that he attacked. Mitch wasn't provoking him in any way-"

"And you know this how?" Ashley asked, going for the blood with a calm approach.

"Because he told me", Amy said.

"And you take his word for it, without any proof?"

"And, more importantly, because I know Ty. It's not his first time doing something like this, and you should know-"

"Amy, stop", Daniel demanded. He understood she thought this would help, but it could actually make matters worse. Amy finally stopped, realizing she should probably not continue.

However Ashley still wasn't done.

"But you didn't see it? Not with your own eyes?" Ashley checked. "You were upstairs, right? Until you left your child alone to see what was going on."

Amy was surprised by Ashley's implications - but then again, she wasn't. Ashley had always find a way to the top and usually that way was dirty.

"I heard concerning sounds downstairs. I left Lyndy behind to keep her safe while I investigated what was going on-" she tried.

Daniel cut into their exchange, looking at Ashley. "I would like to remind you of the reason why we are really here, Ms. Stanton, and that is because of Mr. Border's actions. Not because of my client's. You are taking unnecessary side steps."

Ashley smiled and didn't seem phased even though the whole thing had been close to being an argument. In fact, she would have welcomed that, because it was usually then when people were really speaking their mind. Proving Amy's unbalanced state and irrational reactions could have been beneficial to the whole thing and her statement.

"Okay..." Ashley said, looking around. "So... you saw Mr. Borden and Mr. Cutty fighting-"

"They weren't fighting", Amy corrected, trying to remember to breathe. "Ty was hitting Mitch. It was one-sided. An assault."

"So Mr. Cutty wasn't fighting back?" Ashley asked.

"No. I think it was so unexpected for him what Ty did", Amy said, knowing that if Mitch had fought back, Ty wouldn't have probably been able to hurt him as badly, seeing Mitch had military training.

"And then what happened?" Ashley continued going over the timeline.

"I tried to get Ty off of Mitch. Ty could have get him killed", Amy answered. "I made him back off, and we had a brief talk in the barn office, right there", she said, pointing a finger toward the room.

"And what did you talk about?" Ashley asked.

Amy took her time to recall it all as it made her physically sick. "He explained his side of things. Some old fights were brought up, and he claimed Caleb had told him about "Mitch and I"".

"What does that mean? "Mitch and I"? Are you having an affair with Mr. Cutty?" Ashley asked.

"I'm not. He works here", Amy said firmly. "But that's what Ty thought because of Caleb. That's why he attacked him."

"So, how come Mr. Borden thinks you are having an affair? Surely there had to be more to it than Mr. Odell's words. No reasonable man would ever attack anyone for simply hear-say", Ashley acted stupid, hoping it would bring out Amy's spicy side again.

"Well, that's the thing. Ty Borden is not a reasonable man, he follows his feelings", Amy said, almost shaking. "He's always been jealous, violent and possessive and he doesn't care if what he thinks, hears or sees is true or not because he simplifies his feelings into a reason to fight."

"So... what you are saying is... he was jealous over you and Mr. Cutty?" Ashley checked.

"There's no Mitch and me. And I think Ty hates me at this point anyway, he doesn't care what happens to me as far as I know, but... I think the attack had more to do with Lyndy, our daughter", Amy explained. "Ty didn't want Mitch to be in her life, or something."

"Well, is he a man in your daughter's life?" Ashley asked.

Before Daniel could open his mouth, Amy answered.

"No. At least not like he thinks he is. My Grandpa is. My Dad is. Ty is still her father. Mitch has nothing to do with this. Yes, he sees Lyndy because he works here, but that's it", Amy set the record straight. "Whatever reasons Ty had for his attack, they were unfounded."

"And when you were done talking, what happened then?" Ashley asked.

"I told him I'd call the police, and he ran away. I was so shocked, I was barely able to stand, but my Grandpa and his wife came into the barn and helped Mitch and called help", Amy finished off.

Ashley didn't know if she could use this recording to her advantage, but she still figured her job here was done. She had went over the statement and Amy's side of things. Now it was left for her to figure out how she could defend Ty in all of this.

"Okay. I think that's all I need", Ashley said, putting her phone away. "Thanks for this. I'll be in touch if there's anything else I need", she added, giving both of them a nod.

Amy nodded back, feeling raw and open again, not wanting to utter another word. She was exhausted mentally and would be relieved if this would have been it. She just wanted to be free.

"I'll see you out", Daniel offered, walking Ashley to her car, giving Amy a moment to breathe.


End file.
